King Cucaracha

Yep. Honest.

Love Shack is now up.

Is there any way of getting a different Tetris game. Aside from the one way piece rotation, you seem to get 3 or 4 of the same piece in a row really often. Aside from that, great addition.

Chavo needs to dress up as Eddie and descend from the rafters. Chavo: "OOOOOOHHH! I AM THE GHOOOSST OF EDDIE GUERRERRROOOO!! I LIIEEE, CHHHEEAAT AND STEEEAAALLL OOOOOHHHHH!! HOW DARE YOOOUUU RANDY ORTOOONN, DISRESPECT MEEEEE!! VIVA LA RAZAAAAAAA!!" He then gets squashed by Triple H and Chavo finds himself a new hobby horse who he names Eddie.

Sly Sommers

The thing that bugs me is, everything they've done is textbook feud building for Eddie/Orton or Eddie/HHH or even Eddie and Rey/Orton and HHH. They can build a feud properly for a dead guy, but not the 50 odd people they have on the active roster. Says it all really.

Who do we send to.

He might have meant Lori getting GORED~! by Rhyno. That's the vibe I got from the Chokeslam spot. Also, you'll be giddy to hear that Crystal/Jenny is edited in and you can all commence feedback whenever you wish!

Exactly what I was going to mention. At least Mike, Leena and others who're generally pretty critical of TNA try to be impartial and point out stuff that they do like if and when they see it. Nobody would have a problem with your opinion if you were impartial and offered up some intelligent conversation. The Sabu/Abyss barbed wire match was pretty tame by wrestling standards. I've seen a lot worse, believe me. Infact, it's been topped by the WWE before. No worse than Foley/Orton. No worse than Foley/HHH...infact, there's probably three from them that were, argueably, worse. And that's just for starters. If that Sabu/Abyss match really disturbed you, maybe you are just a desperate housewife my friend. Hell, at least they delivered what they advertised. Saying you can't like both TNA and WWE was pretty fucking dumb. The HHH thing took it right over the edge in a burning blaze of idiocy.

Lex Luger vs. Stan Hansen, Texas Bullrope Match, Starrcade 1990 I remember liking this a lot more as a kid. The crowd, who had been on and off through most of the show with pretty good reason, were hot for Luger, as much as I can remember him being for some time. The brawling didn't really seem to go anywhere and Luger didn't really sell anything more than a minute after it happened. But, I still love the finish. They pretty much duped everyone in the crowd into thinking they were going with the refbump and screwjob, which got them a big pop for the reversed decision.

You know, there's a few inconsistencies that are really bugging me with this ROH/CZW storyline. 1) Since when did Chris Hero care about CZW? He's been the anti-CZW guy pretty much since he joined the promotion. 2) Claudio and Hero are/were last I checked the CZW World Tag Team Champions and Hero is Claudio's mentor. Why would Hero shit on Claudio's match? Why would Claudio not be alligned with CZW? Has it even been addressed? 3) What connection do Hero and Necro have? They've been in the same promotion(s) for years but I can never remember them having anything to do with each other. The one thing I'm glad of, is that they haven't used Eddie Kingston yet. Because I doubt anyone would do enough homework to use Eddie as anything other than a Hero lackey/ally, which would pretty much kill the year plus feud they've been building on the indies.

A special live, in-ring Love Shack to end the show. Why is it live in the ring? Will this mean a confrontation? Why, I don't really know! Honest!

Wow, I can't wait for the big Orton/Eddie match they're building to. ...nevermind.

"19 Men." *TAP TAP TAP!* "YEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" "IT'S OVER!!!!" screams Comet, ecstacy taking him over! "We have...a NEW World Heavyweight Champion!" "No..." is all Riley can finally mumble, in pure disbelief. "Toxxic had no choice but to give it up...and after ninety three days, Toxxic's title reign has been derailed...by Landon! La Cucaracha! Maddix!" "1 Former World Champion." "19 Men." *TAPTAPTAP* "YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" AND THE TAP IS NOT FAR BEHIND!!! "HE GAVE IT UP!" cries Pete over the exploding Washington crowd, who are going nuts! "STRYKE TAPPED! LANDON MADDIX... IS GOIN' TO FROM... THE... FIRE!!!" "1 Who's Seen It All Before." "19 Men." “LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,” Funyon booms, “THE WINNER OF THE TWO THOUSAND AND FIVE CLUUUUUSSSSSTERFUCK... LAAAAAANNDDOOOOOOOOONN "LA CUCARACHAAAAAAA!!" MMMMMAAAAAAAADDDIIIIIIIIIIIXXXXXXXXX!!!!!!!!!” "1 Former Winner." "19 Men" ‘EIGHT!’ Maddix stirs, causing Matty Kivell’s heart to skip a beat, but the ICTV Champion is, if not unconscious, as near as makes no difference. ‘NINE!’ Chris Raynor didn’t beat the count from this move. Edwin MacPhisto didn’t beat the count from this move. ‘TEN!’ *DING-DING-DING!* Landon Maddix didn’t beat the count from this move. “Ladies and gentlemen, here is your winner and STILL~ SWF WORLD… HEAVYWEIGHT… CHAMPION…” Funyon booms over he crashing opening chord of ‘Rookie’, “the ‘Straight-Edge Sensation’… TOXXXXXX-IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIC!!” "One legacy, unfullfilled." The flashback segways into Landon Maddix, wearing his newly acquired SWF World Tag Team Title Belt over his right shoulder, sat alone in a dimly lit, otherwise vacant training facility, mouthing those last three words. Solemnly, Maddix rocks back on his seat. Looking up at the dank and stained ceiling, he sighs deeply before glancing back down to camera level. "This time last year, I was about to complete my finest achievement. Finer than my SJL Title wins. Finer than my record setting ICTV Title reign. Finer even than my SWF World Heavyweight Championship victory. This time last year, I was mere days away from adding my name to the select list of Clusterfuck Champions...despite all the odds. To me, it feels almost like a lifetime ago. And yet, it's still fresh in my mind. Nobody gave me a hope in hell last year. Not one single person. Oh, they had reasons. They had reasons. They said I was too small. They said I was too inexperienced. They assumed that my mind wouldn't be on the job, that my past failure would be clouding my mindset." "Sitting here in this...well, you can see what it is. It's a dump. It's JJ Johnson and Jay Hawke's way of taking me 'back to basics' or some such trash. To get me 'focused'. Even they...even they, my supposed stablemates, aren't sure. I sit here one year after the greatest achievement of my life and nobody gives me a chance. They still say I'm too small. They still say I'm too inexperienced. They yet again assume that my mind woun't be on the job and that my past failures will be clouding my mindset. Still, they doubt me. It's as if last year never even happened. Which is why I'm sending out this little video to you all, to remind you that it DID happen. I sit here and I do the same thing I did when last year, Benjamin Hardy decided he'd doubt me. I do what I did last year. I take all the claims that my confidence is shot, that my mind isn't focused, that my preperation can't be right...and I LAUGH in the faces of everyone who doubts me!" "The fact is, this 'losing streak' that everyone is so quick to comment on has no bearing on me. Never has. It was just a figment of the media's imagination...like Bigfoot, The Moon Landing, The Weapons Of Mass Destruction or Paris Hilton's music career. The fact is, there is no shortage of confidence from Landon Maddix. Hell, the entire idea that I lack confidence is laughable! Need I remind you..." Landon lifts the World Tag Team Title off of his shoulder. "...that any 'losing streak' there may ever have been is dead and buried? I'm a Champion again. And now, I've got the taste for gold again. Which for nineteen men, women, robots and whatever the hell they dress Matt Myers up as...is bad news. People might have forgotten about my victory last year. They will NEVER forget me, when I am the first man to EVER win the Clusterfuck in two consecutive years...hell, the first man to EVER win the Clusterfuck twice, PERIOD! And nobody will forget me when I go on to From The Fire and I..." Landon pauses. He's hit a sore spot. The Next Generation grows solemn once more as the memories of From The Fire 2005 come flooding back to him, so much so that he instinctively reaches back and rubs his neck. It was little under a year ago that everything started to unravel. Just under a year ago that Landon Maddix was so nearly crippled, by Toxxic and a Demonstar Driver. "You know, I guess it's no wonder people have forgotten about last year. What Toxxic did to me left quite the lasting impression. On the fans. On the SWF staff. On...ME!" Standing up from his seat, Landon glares into the camera lens. "And that's why this year is so important to me. It's been almost a year...and I've waited for that entire YEAR for the chance to wipe the memory of From The Fire from my mind!! I've been counting down the days in my diary and it's so close that I can taste it! It's the one thing that haunts me to this day!! And it's the one thing that's going to GUARANTEE that I want this Clusterfuck win more than anyone else ever possibly could!! I NEED this, more than anyone else ever possibly could! Because the past 12 months have been the worst of my life. That can all change. It can all be put aside, forgotten about forever, so long as I once more outlast 19 opponents, win the Clusterfuck and put myself on course towards becoming the two time World Heavyweight Champion. It's not just about the title. It's not just about the prestige. I've done all that before. It's not about 'putting my career on the line' or whatever hardluck story others are trying to make to get the sentimental favourite's support. It's more than that to me. It's not about 'one attempt at making history' like Grappler last year. It's more than that to me." Finally, Maddix smiles. "Toxxic has gone. And come Sunday night, his memory will be just like him...as good as dead and all the better for it." *AHEM!* "Huh?" "The line!" "Oh, yeah, sorry." mumbles Maddix, pulling a familiar blue and black can from his back pocket. "Sponsored by Pepsi Max. Ya Gotta Want It...With Maximum Taste And No Sugar!" "Aaaaaand CUT! That's great Landon." "Cool. So, you got everything you need?" "Indeed. And then some. We'll edit it down a little before it airs, don't worry." "I look forward to it. Now, about this 'new contract' you say Joseph Peters wants me to sign..."

Back in the Royal Rumble drawing room, it's the turn of three of the OAOAST's Upstarts to pick their entry numbers, to the relief of General Manager Axel. AXEL Ah, finally! WRIGHT Good evening, Mr. General Manager. O'HARA G'Day, geez'. Sup? AXEL ...uhm, yeah. Well, good luck guys. Delving in first, Christian Wright selects his number and cracks it open whilst Bohemoth snatches a ball from the hopper with minimum fuss. O'Hara then takes his and one by one, each of the three Upstarts take a glance at their numbers, Axel eagerly trying to read their expressions. None of the three seem that happy, prompting Axel to move behind them and check the numbers for himself. And whatever worries he may have had seem to disappear. AXEL Perfect.

Crystal/Jenny will also be late, because I feel rough as hell right now. I can edit it in tommorrow morning though.

I'm clogged down with life-threatening, evil death flu (or 'the sniffles' for any women reading), so I'm not doing too well. Roughly 1.8k.

YOU'RE ALL INSANE!!

It was a joint effort. i.e, Patty wrote most of it. Six Women's Tag has been edited in to the end of the show. Apologies to PFL that it's...well, pretty damn short. As usual, Sod's Law dictates that whenever I need to do something, something manages to screw it all up. This time, it was my feeble brain.

COLE Oh, hey, the imaginary storm has stopped! And our cameras work again. COACH OH RLY! COLE YA RLY! COACH Let's hope nobody's left already then... COLE Amongst the huge card this Sunday night, the Women's Division of the OAOAST will once again be featured prominently. Of course, the big grudge match between Crystal and Jenny Adams will take centre stage and there'll also be a clash of the female titans in the form of Brodie Lewis and Julie "The Shark" Sharcor. And in addition, the Women's Title will be on the line and chaos is sure to reign in a Six Way Scramble Match. The long-reigning Champion Ashley Street faces what may very well be her toughest test to date, as she finds herself up against El Chica Genérico, Serena Blackmore, "Floggin'" Molly Matthews, Constance of the Minnesota Angels and the woman who managed to defeat her just a few weeks ago in Confusia! CABOOSE No doubt her toughest test. It's hard enough to defend your title against one person in a regular match, with fixed rules. But five opponents and Scramble Rules? I don't care how tough Ashley is or isn't, those are tough, tough odds to overcome. COLE Well, tonight we've got a preview of AnglePalooza. On Sunday night, it'll be every woman for themselves obviously. But tonight, it's 6 Woman Tag action, meaning we've got two teams of three who will in theory get along. Remember, that's just a theory. "ANY WAY YOU WANT IT! THAT'S THE WAY YOU NEED IT! ANY WAY YOU WANT IT!" The crowd go wild as "Anyway You Want It" by Rise Against hits...and team number one makes their way through the entrance way, as just that, a team. Ashley Street leads the way with the Women's Championship proudly over her shoulder. Behind her, the dueling wackiness of El Chica Genérico and Molly Matthews backs her up. BUFFER The following 6 Woman Tag Team Match is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, team number one...consisting of, "FLOGGIN'" MOLLY MATTHEWS, EL CHICA GENÉRICO and the OAOAST World Women's Champion, ASHLEY STREEEEEEEEEET!!! "YYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!" The trio jog down to the ring, all slapping the hands of the fans merrily on the way. Molly does a full circuit of the ring, while Genérico rolls straight in and gives the crowd a mighty "OLÉ!". Ashley is noticeable...well, sane, compared to her partners and watches on with a smirk as she enters the ring. Having her finished her handslappery, Molly joins her partners by climbing to the top and backflipping into the ring. COLE This trio at least seem to be on the same page. I'm not sure how well their opponents can or will work together though. The three females in the ring chat away happily. They're interrupted though by "Bloody Murderer" by Cursive and the mysterious figure of Confusia. Crawling on her knees across the stage, Confusia stares blankly into space...before suddenly coming to life, jumping up and babbling to herself like a madwoman as she strides down the aisle. BUFFER And, their opponents! First, from 'The Middle Of Nowhere'... CONFUSSSSIIIAAAAA!! As Confusia gets to the end of the ramp she finally looks up into the ring. And even in her confused state, she knows 3 is bigger than 1 and waits outside the ring in her corner. Meanwhile, Lunatic Calm's "Leave You Far Behind [instrumental]" kicks in and Serena Blackmore makes her way moodily out to the ring. BUFFER Hailing from Philidelphia, Pennsylvania... SERENA BLACKMOOORRREEE!! Serena doesn't see the need to associate herself with her partner (not that she'd understand her anyway) and climbs into the ring, showing no fear of the threesome in the ring. Of course, they're a nice threesome so they wouldn't attack anyway. Serena gets some cold glares though, while "Seether" by Veruca Salt hits and the final member of the team makes her way out. BUFFER And, their tag team partner. She hails from St. Paul, Minnesota... CONSTAAAAANCE!! COLE And I guess we can forget all about team unity from these three. Besides the seperate entrances, Serena Blackmore is a born loner. Constance is an experienced tag team wrestler, but only with her regular partner Valerie. And Confusia is...well...she's a little out there. CABOOSE No kidding. Constance joins her team-mates in/around the ring and doesn't bother trying to get the team together, too busy making sure her hair is looking it's finest. As Constance gets around to the corner, Confusia slides into the ring and seems to be ready to start the match. *DINGDINGDING!* Constance has no problems with Confusia starting off, but Serena seems to, trying to tell Confusia to get out of the ring. Unfortunately, Confusia isn't that great at understanding English...or any other non-fictional language for that matter. And all she gets is a blank stare. Conceding, Serena exits to the apron, leaving Confusia to start with El Chica Genérico. COLE Two unorthodox females to start the match off. CABOOSE What is it with the women in this company? These two are wackjobs, Molly Matthews is no better. Jade Rodez is hardly clown college material, let alone academics. Brodie Lewis is a psycho. And don't even get me started on Chicks Over Dicks. Confusia and Genérico slowly move into the centre of the ring ready for a lock-up. For some reason, Confusia decides she'd be aided by licking her palms before going into a collar and elbow tie-up. But it works, somehow, as she quickly slides behind with a hammerlock on Genérico. Confusia uses her weight advantage to lean over Genérico and force her down to her knees. Rolling to the side, Genérico manages to escape though, coming up with Confusia's wrist twisted and using that to apply a top wristlock. Confusia sweeps out Genérico's leg in an attempted counter, but Genérico clings onto the arm, causing an armdrag variation and sending Confusia tumbling forwards. She rolls through the impact somewhat, but then charges in blindly and takes a traditional armdrag into a traditional armbar on the mat. REFEREE Do you wanna give up Confusia!?! CONFUSIA WAIT! WAIT! WAIT! ... ...NO! COLE Confusia is...a little slow. Confusia pushes herself to her feet and escapes Genérico's armbar the old fashioned way...an eyerake! The referee warns Confusia, but she either doesn't hear or understand as she brushes past the referee and goes on the attack on Genérico. A big right hand staggers Genérico into the ropes, followed with a knee buried deep into the gut. Confusia then whips Genérico across the ring, hitting the ropes herself and looking to cut Genérico off on her return. Seeing her opponent coming early, Genérico hooks her arms around the top rope and stops herself...then raises a boot, which the maniacal Confusia charges straight into! Turning to the ropes, Genérico then vaults to the middle cable and tumbles over Confusia with a sunset flip... 1... 2... Confusia rolls through, stacking Genérico on her shoulders in a pin...and RAISING THE ROOF~!, for some inexplicable reason... 1... 2... Easy kickout for Genérico. But as she begins to get back up, Confusia traps her in a side headlock. COACH That was the best pin ever. COLE Hardly. Instead of using her arms for leverage or to put more weight on Genérico's shoulders or anything at all this side of sanity that might actually win a match, she does that. It was a dumb move. COACH Yeah, but it was also DY-NO-MIIIITE!! CABOOSE Why am I not surprised that YOU would approve of it? Confusia drags Genérico around with the headlock. Turning her back sneakily from the referee, Confusia sticks her thumb into her mouth and applies some lubrication before jamming the thumb right into Genérico's throat! What the lubrication was for, I don't know. But the thumb in the throat does leave Genérico on her knees gasping for breath. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Pulling Genérico back up, Confusia sends her into the corner with an irish whip. The crazy female then follows in with a big clothesline, crushing Genérico's 121 pounds like a bug! Genérico falls out of the corner and into Confusia's arms, Confusia executing a surprisingly crisp Side Belly to Belly Suplex. With her team in control, Constance now extends a hand and requests a tag. Confusia takes no notice though, instead climbing to the middle rope and holding her hands out to the side... CONFUSIA BIG VAN VADAAAAAHHHHHH!! ...NOBODY HOME! Genérico rolls out of the way of the big splash and Confusia belly-flops into the mat! COLE Ooh, big miss from Confusia. Maybe if she actually weighed as much as Vader, she'd have got to Genérico a little quicker. CABOOSE If she weighed as much as Vader, we'd have a hole in the ring right now. As Confusia lays groaning on the mat, Genérico crawls over to her corner and dives to tag in Molly Matthews! Molly hops into the ring and takes a moment to wave to a section of the crowd who pop for her arrival into the match, before helping Confusia to her feet. Taking her by the arm, Molly sends Confusia into the corner and follows in with a Monkey Flip that sends Confusia crashing into the centre of the ring! Confusia gets right back up, mumbling in incoherent pain and holding her back. Hitting the ropes in front, Molly charges and ducks underneath a wild swing from Confusia. Molly then comes off the opposite ropes and dives at Confusia with a crossbody. Confusia manages to catch Molly in her arms. But she then gets too over-confident, laughing in typically weird manner before throwing Molly's legs out, only for Molly to swing herself around holding Confusia's arm and taking her over with a typically wacky Lucha-style armdrag! COLE There's that unorthodox style of Molly Matthews...who's pretty unorthodox in many ways. But no doubt, she's got a lot of talent. Confusia is confused, more so than usual. Scrambling to her feet she takes a moment to gain her bearings before finding Molly and charging with a completely telegraphed clothesline. Molly rolls underneath the arm and waits as Confusia rebounds. Once Confusia comes back, Molly leaps up in preparation for a leapfrog. Confusia reads the move however, catching Molly in her arms and spinning 180 degress with an Anderson Spinebuster!! CONFUSIA BETTA DAN HOFF'S!!!!! COACH OMG! COLE Wow, Confusia throwing out the zinger! Instead of going for the pin, Confusia finally stalks over to her corner and lets Constance tag herself in...only for Serena Blackmore to intercept, slapping Confusia on the shoulder and entering the ring herself. CABOOSE You're right Michael, there's no cohesion there at all on that team. Serena storms in and picks her old adversary Molly Matthews up, before slamming her with a forearm strike. And another. Molly's jaw and head snap back on each shot and leave her dazed, enough for Serena to get a quick back step on a short clothesline. Somehow, Molly manages to duck it though, hooking herself onto Serena's arm and spinning herself around into a crucifix position. Serena holds out from being taken over, so Molly releases with her hands, twisting around and taking Serena over with a sunset flip... 1... 2... Kickout! Both women roll through and to their feet, Serena attacking first with a knee to the gut. Just to make sure, she lands a couple more knees. Serena then hooks on a front facelock and sets Molly up for a suplex. Elevating The Floggin' One though, Serena stops short of falling back with the move and instead drops to her knees planting Molly face-first with a Gordbuster! Cover from Blackmore... 1... 2... NO!! COLE Shoulder up from Molly. CABOOSE But we saw exactly where that got Jade Rodez. She kept kicking out, so Serena headbutted her brains in and choked her out. She's a dangerous woman. COLE She's unstable, that's what she is. Serena pulls Molly to her feet, rocking her with another forearm strike. Struggling to keep her footing Molly stumbles backwards, wandering towards her corner. Serena stops her from getting a tag though, grabbing her by the arm and pulling her back into the centre of the ring. Another forearms connects and Molly now falls to one knee. Without hesitation, Serena hits the ropes and steps off of Molly's knee with the Shining Enziguri...DUCKED! Serena slams the mat in frustration on the way back up. But in doing so, she loses her focus, allowing Molly to spring off her feet with a majestic Dropsault that lands perfectly across the BUTT of Serena's jaw!! "ASH - LEY!" "ASH - LEY!" "ASH - LEY!" "ASH - LEY!" The crowd get behind Molly and will her to tag in the Champion. She's slow to her feet though, Serena reaching her feet first despite the Dropsault. Serena is dazed though, stumbling backwards...and allowing Constance to tag herself in! Constance steps past Serena, a cocky smile on her face as she measures Molly for a forearm strike. But suddenly, as she swings forward, Serena grabs her by the arm and stops her! COLE Uh-oh! There's discenssion in the ranks! Serena and Constance square up and it looks like it's all set to break down. In the midst of the confusion meanwhile, Confusia steps into the ring and mows down Molly Matthews with a stiff clothesline! Trouble is, that draws in Ashley Street, running through Confusia with a running elbow strike and then charging Constance into Serena, causing them to clock heads! Serena falls to the outside, Constance sent flying out moments after her as El Chica Genérico now enters the ring and all hell has well and truly broken loose. Standing in the centre of the ring, Genérico gets the crowd behind her with some good ol' rhythmic clapping. Serena and Constance pull themselves up on the floor and get back into their previous arguement, distracting them from Genérico who charges across the ring and dives through the ropes with a Topé Con Hílo!! "YYEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH That's insane! COLE This is what we can expect this Sunday night! It's pure chaos now and this crowd loves it! Genérico, Serena and Constance lay in a heap on the floor. Back in the ring, Ashley pulls Confusia back to her feet and lands a forearm! Another! And a third! Now it's a knee strike to the chest, repeated twice more before Ashley lands another forearm, this one knocking Confusia right off her feet! Confusia, babbling wildly, tries to crawl away. She's stopped by Ashley who steps over Confusia's back and grabs her by the tassles coming out of the back of her mask and holding her in place. *WHAM!* Crossface strike! *WHAM!* Crossface strike! *WHAM!* Crossface strike! *SMACK!* And a front dropkick to the face from Molly Matthews! COLE If that won't make you confused then nothing will. CABOOSE I dunno, that might just have knocked some sense into her. Confusia collapses and starts to twitch beneath Ashley, who signals for Molly to make sure nobody can get into the ring. Ashley then reaches down and drags Confusia up by the mask. Getting the deadweight Confusia onto all four, she places her in a standing headscissors and hoists her up for a powerbomb. Sat on Ashley's shoulders, Confusia looks in desperate trouble. Until that is, she shakes away some cobwebs and sinks her teeth into the forehead of the Women's Champion!! COLE She's biting her! God, what a disgusting tactic! In her pain Ashley drops Confusia and Confusia lands safely, although her biting grip on Ashley is gone. Instead, she lands a Standing Yakuza Kick that knocks Ashley flat out! Ashley goes down. But before Confusia can capitalise, Molly Matthews attacks from behind! Catching Confusia in the back of the head to daze her, Molly then leaps up onto Confusia's back and around her arms, then snaps her over with a Crucifix Driver... 1... 2... KICKOUT! Molly rolls back up and grabs Confusia...but the mysterious female was lying in wait and elevates the unsuspecting Molly up, falling back and dropping her throat first across the top rope with a Hotshot! Molly's head snaps back and she staggers back into the centre of the ring. Waiting with a boot to the gut, Confusia then pulls Molly in. CONFUSIA UNCANNY ILLUSION HAMMAAAAAAAHHHH!! With her opponent still winded, Confusia wastes less time than usual in lifting Molly up. She gets The Floggin' One elevated and begins to spin around the ring, throwing her out in mid-spin and hitting the Uncanny Illusion Hammer (Twirlybird Ace Crusher)!!! Molly settles limply on the canvas and Confusia checks that Ashley is still KOed before hooking a leg on Molly... 1... 2... 3!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Wow, she got her! Confusia got her! "Bloody Murderer" by Cursive strikes up again and Confusia rolls from the ring chuckling to herself, creeping around in a weird sort of kung-fu stance for no particular reason, before suddenly striking a victory pose! El Chica Genérico rolls into the ring just too late, as Confusia celebrates her victory in her own unique way in the aisle. BUFFER Your winners of the match...the team of CONSTANCE, SERENA BLACKMORE and CONFFUUUUSSSIIIIAAAAA!! COLE Confusia scores another big win and she has ALL the momentum going into AnglePalooza! A victory in non-title action over the Champion and now, a victory to her name over Molly Matthews! CABOOSE I don't know where Confusia's finding this new talent for winning, but she's sure doing it at the right time, huh? COLE Well, this has to bode badly for Ashley Street. Confusia is on a role and this Sunday, it's Six Way Scramble. The odds will be stacked against the Women's Champion and it may be one step too far for Clarksville, Indiana's hometown girl!

BACKSTAGE is the place. And Jade Rodez and brother, #30, Leon, are walking down the hall on their way to the COD locker room. JADE It's a really funny story I swear. Don't you wanna hear it? I know Alix'll love it. She laughs a lot. You wanna hear it, right? LEON Fine, fine, just get it out. JADE So Molly Matthews and I were on her farm this weekend and she was teaching classes on how to milk a llama. It's part of a government sponsored program. LEON What excellent use of my tax dollars. JADE So, there was this big tough redneck John Wayne dude, and he thinks it's silly for Molly, a girl, to teach the class. So he starts acting like a loudmouth and says, “I ain't gonna no let no female show me how to milk no llama”. So he pushes Molly aside, and starts milking the llama himself. But then he pulled too hard, I guess because the milk sprayed out all in his face. And he got really mad and said “God damn, rodent!” and tried to punch it, but the llama kicked him right in the face and opened up this huuuuuuge cut! So he had blood and llama milk in his eyes and he couldn't see and he's like “Water! Ah need water!” so he dives into a nearby puddle and he says “So refreshing” over and over again until Molly tells him that the puddle is a pool of horse urine! Isn't that funny? I guess you had to be there, huh. A despairing Leon and the oblivious Jade approach the COD locker room. They enter without knocking. Unfortunatley, the reason for their visit, Alix Maria Spezia, is no where to be found. Perhaps even more unfortunate for Mr.Rodez is that Krista Isadora Duncan is present. The slowest most painful seconds of Leon's short life tick past, as Krista sits on the couch reading a book, while he's forced to stand awkwardly at the doorway. Finally, he works up the nerve to say something to break silence she was treasuring. LEON Uh, hi, Krista. Engrossed in her book, Krista ignores him. LEON Krissy? Krista ignores him again, which leads Jade to giggle. LEON ....Izzy? KRISTA You may refer to me as “My intellectual superior” and I, in turn, will refer to you solely as “The Douche". Got that, Douche? Jade snickers, but instantly puts on a disapproving face when emotionally wounded Leon glares at her. LEON Hey, I'm really trying to make an effort here. KRISTA An effort to do what? To treat Alix like she's your personal sex toy, available to your horny whims twenty four hours a day? If that's what your effort is, then I must commend you. You're doing a bang up job of it! Would you like a cookie before you get your nookie? LEON (masking his insult behind a sweetend voice) Have you ever tried, you know, not being a hateful bitch? I think it might work out for you. KRISTA (mocking Leon's tone of voice) Have you ever tried, you know, diving off a cliff into a pile of aids filled syringes? LEON Once in Aruba. Not as exciting as you might think. (trails off) Look, I just want to see Alix. KRISTA Ah, you failed to put in the “naked and in a submissive state to my sadistic and misogynistic sexual desires.” part. A simple mistake, I'm certain. She's in her lab. The news of his ditzy girlfriend having a lab causes Leon to react in the same fashion those in the middle ages must've acted when they were told the world was round, with shock, horror, and comic disbelief. LEON What?! She has a lab? My Alix has a lab? KRISTA If you took an interest in things of hers that can't be covered by a skimpy bra from Victoria's Secret, then perhaps you might've known that. (Krista finally looks up from her book.) And she's my Alix. She'll never be yours. JADE You really should know if she has a lab or not, Leon. What kinda boyfriend are you? Did you know she grows Oregano? KRISTA Ore...oh to be young and naieve! *KABOOOOOM!* What's that terrible noise, you ask? That's the sound of an explosion going off in the near room! As the trio's worried eyes turn towards the doors, Los Diablos De Fuego, wearing lab coats come running out. The homosexual superstars are in hysterics, screaming in Spanish and crying as though some tremoundous tragedy transpired. KRISTA Mariachi, Moracca, where's Alix? Is she alright? MARIACHI Senorita Alix! Ooooooh! Muy Malo! Her lab coat covered in blood, and her cute face soaked in dust and soot, Alix Spezia steps out of her “laboratory”. And by laboratory, read the en-suite attached to the COD locker room. ALIX Eureka! KRISTA You actually managed to create a race of superior tap dancing lizards that rival the dancing ability of the late Alvin Ailey? ALIX No silly! Eureka's Castle. That's the name of the show I was trying to think of. I got the castle bit, but I couldn't get the first name. Now I have it, in addition to a lizard's lung in my hair. Or maybe it's something else? Heh, I bet this lizard was real popular with the lady lizards! Hey Krissy, ya know how you told me Iguana's can grow their tails back? Well, how about their uh...eyes....or their arms, or their heads, or their ears, or any other random body part that's currently resting on my lab's wall? KRISTA You exploded your iguana? ALIX Uh. Heh-heh. About that. What if I, kinda, sorta...now this is just one of those hypodermic questions or wherever, but what if I, you know, wasn't really using an iguana but was actually using and have subsequently exploded your pet kitty, Gloria? KRISTA WHAT!?! Martha Stewart gave me that cat!! ALIX Oooookay, let's just run with the whole iguana thing. OH, we have guests!! Jade, my lizard just went BOOM! Like when that Ozbourne dude shot that JFK dude in the head. I know Ozbourne was pissed his show got canceled and his daughter sucks and everything, but he didn't have to shoot el presidente! OH, Lee-Lee, poor Gloria...uh..I mean poor unnamed lizard. LEON Hey, it's okay. (thinks about putting an arm around Alix's shoulders, before spotting the random lizard/cat goo on her lab coat and thinking better of it) I know what'll make it all better. ALIX What's that...is it a PRESENT! Oh my Gawd, you get me a present? That's so thoughtful of you. You didn't get me anything for Christmas, or New Year's, or our one month anniversary, or our one and a half month anniversary or even on . But, you've gotten me something today! Is it another kittyguana? Coz, I could kinda do with one right now. Ooor...is it money? No, no, you're only a midcarder, you don't make much if I remember right. If I know my Lee-Lee, it's gonna be somethin' real special that no-one else in the whole history of the world has ever gotten. Liiike...A DINOSAUR! No, no, wait that's silly. You midcarders would never make enough money to buy dinosaurs. Maybe one of those little ones that could fly...but, who'd want one of them? Who could they kill? LEON I was thinking of something a little more realistic and, you know, logical...such as unprotected sex! ALIX Oh man. That's all we ever do! When is this nightmare of hot sweaty sex in public places gonna end? LEON Well, what would you rather do? ALIX I want to know the real Leon. Your hopes. Your dreams. Your fears. Your middle name! LEON Um, my hopes are to have sex with you. My goal is to have sex with you. My fear is that while having sex with you I'll think about my mother, because you look like she did when she was young, thus turning sex with you into a disturbing yet strangely erotic experience. My middle name is I want to have sex with you. As a bonus, I like taking long walks on the beach where I fantasize about having sex with you on the beach or really any other location of your choosing. ALIX ....works for me! Come on, baby, why don't you stick your test tube in professor Alix's bunson burner? Disgusted, Krista chugs down a bottle of handy nearby Tequila as Alix motions for the 'jumpy up and down' Los Diablos to follow her. LEON Woah, slow the love train down, they're coming too? ALIX Yeah! Since when do you have a problem with an audience? LEON Well, I don't know about this. They'll be staring at my...you know...my 'thunderbolt'. ALIX Awwwww. LEON Eh, what the hell, I've been in worse situations. (to Los Diablos) But NO TOUCHY! COMPRENDÉ! MORRACA Manéjese con cuidado, Lee-Lee...MMMWWWWAAA! (slaps own BUTT) LEON .....hehehe, 'Morraca'. What a funny name. Alix and Leon run back into her lab with Leon heard to yelp "watch the arm" (psychology~!), with Los Diablos De Fuego right behind them. They seem to miming something about squishing something, or grabbing someone, but let's just leave that be shall we. That leaves Jade and Krista. Krista goes back to her book while Jade watches on, perhaps waiting for some sort of recognition for actually being alive and present. But she gets none. JADE Uh..I...I... KRISTA Yes? Come out with it, Porky Pig. JADE (sighing) Nevermind. Another highly awkward silence sweeps through the room, before Krista says something that's sure to get her kicked off the PTA. KRISTA So, you want a beer? JADE I'm only eighteen! KRISTA (laughs) And? JADE Well, I'm not old enough to drink! KRISTA Right, right. We must all respect the almighty law, yadda yadda yadda. You want a beer or not? JADE I..I..don't really think I should. KRISTA Wait a minute...you're eighteen years old and you DON'T want alcohol? Don't be a priss. A little alcohol never hurt anybody. JADE What do you call alcohol poisoning? KRISTA A myth propagated by the fascist anti-woman white men running the countries corrupt cola empires as a means to keep the superior beverage, alcohol, down. JADE What about drunk driving? KRISTA (sighs) I find swerving in out of traffic, while trying to avoid random pedestrians, a swarm of cop cars and a camera crew from Real Stories Of The Highway Patrol to be, how shall we say, invigorating. Besides, if you start drinking now it'll prepare you for time when your partner abandons you for a twisty haired scuzz king and your only remaining companions are a Neiman Marcus catalog, a glass of bourbon, and a bottle of valium as large as a monkeys head. Overcome by a wave of bad memories, Krista buries her head into her hand and starts to sob gently. JADE Are you alright, Miss Duncan? KRISTA Sweetie, the 1971 birthday I see everytime I stare at my drivers license makes me feel old enough. I don't need you making it worse by calling me Miss Duncan. Just call me Krista. Or perhaps you might wish to call me your beautiful, radiant, and youthful looking, highness. That might make me feel better for a while. JADE Wow, you're almost as old as my mom! KRISTA Okay, well this has been very...very...very...unfortunate. Good-bye. Krista gets up to find a place to drown her sorrows that's free of chatty teenagers. JADE Hey, where are you going? KRISTA While it may be late, I think there might be some traffic left on the streets I can throw myself into. JADE Wait! I never got to thank you. Stopping dead in her tracks, Krista tries to formulate the words spoken into something that makes sense without uttering the words 'DOES. NOT. COMPUTE.' KRISTA Thank me? Is that new code around here for “Make Krista's life a horrid unedurable hell”? JADE No. That's code for 'I really appreciated you saving me from Ned a couple of weeks ago'. KRISTA That? Oh, I didn't really do much. It's no big deal. JADE Yes it is! Everyone here says that your so mean and nasty, and that you're a cruel, self loathing, world hating... KRISTA Yeah, I get the point. Thank you. JADE. ...but you were the only person who came to help me when I was really in need. This is a company with forty maybe fifty wrestlers backstage, and only one came to rescue me. That was you. That was the nicest thing anyone's ever done for me. You didn't have to do that. Even the camera man just stood there watching as that pig tried to violate me, and said those horrible things about my life. God, it was so awful. And those dumb announcers, all they could do was talk about what a terrible thing it was, but they wouldn't do anything to stop it. But you did. You saw I was in danger, and you came to help me. You're the nicest person I've ever met. Honestly. A lot of people will say nice stuff, but they won't do nice things, when that's what's really important. You do nice things. KRISTA The half ton of cow feces I dumped on Tony Brannigan's lawn last year might disagree with that. JADE Wow, I wish I was like you. You beat up ALL the guys. You just start punching them and pounding them, it's awesome. If I was in any way similar to you, Ned never would've tried that stuff with me. Did you see how afraid he was of you? Wow. That would be so cool if people were afraid of me like that. You're awesome. I wanna be just like you, Krista. KRISTA Oh no you don't! JADE Oh yes I do! KRISTA Honey, Jeffery Dhamer is a better role model then me. JADE I...don't know who that is. KRISTA Look, I've really gotta go before I start hearing noises from in there. I suggest you do the same. Krista slams her book and gets up to leave...but stops in the middle of the doorway. KRISTA Um, by the way...you're welcome. Hold the front page~! as Krista just SMILED at Jade before she left the room! Granted, it wasn't a 'warm' smile. It was more of a 'make the hero worshipping teenager think you care' smile, the kind she's perfected so well for her many book signings and public appearances. But, it was still sort of a smile.

0. I intend starting on Friday and expect to give up on Saturday. Then, hopefully, I can have a bunch of people imploring me to tack on an ending and show, then spend Sunday editing and stuff before sending it, thus going by the exact same formula as last year.

"DUUUUUN DUNDUNDUNDUNDUUUN DUNDUNDUN DUNDUNDUN..." "C'mon man" "DON'T CALL IT A COMEBACK..." Wackiness is abound, as "Mama Said Knock You Out" complete with Godzilla intro (just for fun) hits. And luckily, Leon Rodez's car hasn't broke down mysteriously this week, meaning he's free to burst through the curtain and show off his sparkling silver robe for all. A big cheer goes up for Rodez, who is flanked by fellow World Tag Team Champion Zack Malibu. With a little jig, Rodez heads towards the ring with a smile on his face...looking much more sociable than his second for the night, who trails behind his partner. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, this contest is scheduled for one fall and the winner will be entered into this Sunday's Royal Rumble Match at Number 30! Introducing first, being accompanied to the ring by ZACK MALIBU! Hailing from Grand Rapids, Michigan...he weighs in tonight at two hundred, twenty eight pounds. One half of the OAOAST World Tag Team Champions! "SILKY SMOOTH"... LLEEEEEEOOOOOONN RRRROOOOOOOODDEEEEEZZZZZZZ!!!! "YYEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE What a way to start off OAOAST HeldDOWN~! A match held over from last week, due to transportation problems for this man Leon Rodez, which will determine who earns the prestigous number 30 spot in this year's Royal Rumble Match! And with just three days to go until AnglePalooza, what a crucial match this is. For the winner, the knowledge that he has the easiest task of the 30 men in the Rumble...and for the loser, a chance let slip. COACH And for The Upstarts- Fun, fun, fun! COLE Sadly, true. As I'm sure our General Manager well knew, this match pits Original versus Origina... CABOOSE Woah woah woah! Let's get our facts together Michael, Leon Rodez isn't an Original. He's only been here as a regular for...what, a year and a half? That doesn't make him an Original. Don't get me wrong, I admire him for the way he turned down the chance to be an Upstart - on numerous occassions - but he's certainly, certainly, not an Original. COLE That said, he's a threat to The Upstarts. And the fact Axel is pitting these threats against each other has to be worrying for the OAOAST's mainstays and anyone who values what they stand for. Leon and Zack stand in the ring, conversing with each other. Around them meanwhile, the crowd erupt as "Quiet" by Smashing Pumpkins hits, causing black smoke to come pouring out of the entrance way! And soon from that smoke, Dan Black bursts through as shots of black and white pyro fire off around the stage. Black lowers his shades and looks down to the ring, Tony Brannigan standing beside him. Black T don't look all that thrilled about the prospect of the match either, but the stakes are such that Dan is fired up and ready to go. BUFFER And, the opponent. Being accompanied to the ring by TONY BRANNIGAN! He hails from London, England and weighs two hundred and fourty three pounds. A former three time OAOAST World Tag Team Champion... "THE ICE HEART"! DDAAAAAAAAANN BBBBBBLLLLLLLAAAAAAAAAAACCCKK!!!! "YYEEEEEAAAAAHHHH!!" Black gets a decent reaction from the fans, but the majority are behind his opponent. Not that The Ice Heart cares, striding to the ring emotionless and focused on the match. Dan slides into the ring and squares straight up to Rodez, until Zack takes it upon himself to push Dan back. That draws Tony over to shove Zack and the situation is in danger of breaking down right from the get-go... ...until Leon Rodez points up onto the stage, having spotted a group of figures coming through the entrance doors. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" CABOOSE You've got to be kiddng me! Led by the OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion, Peter Knight, The Upstarts converge on the stage and stand with smug grins as they look on into the ring. The six men don't advance any further. They're happy to just watch on from the ramp. COLE What the hell are they doing out here!?! This is no business of The Upstarts'! COACH It's PK's business tho'! Whoever's Number 30 in the Rumble has the best odds of going on to wrestle him for the World Title at AngleMania... CABOOSE ...if he makes it that far... COACH ...so he just wants to get some scoutin' in. No biggy. The Upstarts' arrival has poured water over the brewing fire in the ring and all four men seem united as they glare right back at their hated rivals. Smiling widest of all, Peter Knight motions for Rodez and Black to "hurry up and get on with it", pointing to a rather expensive looking watch on his wrist as he does so. Zack is almost having to be held back from going after The Upstarts there and then, but luckily he calms himself down and leaves to a corner, Tony doing the same after wishing his partner good luck. "P K SUCKS!" "P K SUCKS!" "P K SUCKS!" "P K SUCKS!" With Zack and Tony out of the way, referee Charles Robinson checks both men over routinely before deciding that both men are good to go and calling for the bell. *DINGDINGDING!* COLE Well, under the shadow of The Upstarts' presence, I guess this match is going to get underway. A first time ever meeting one on one, it's the veteran Dan Black against a future superstar in Leon Rodez, with the Number 30 Spot in the Royal Rumble this Sunday on the line. Two great athletes. Two favourites in the Rumble line-up... COACH Two men that Alix Spezia's gone down on. COLE ... COACH I mean, sure, Dan kinda sorta forced it on Alix, but ya gotta get ya giggidy, ya know? COLE Hopefully for Dan's sake, Leon doesn't remember that tonight. 'That' being the Alix thing...and not the...well...uhm, let's get on with the match. Yeah. Match. Dan and Leon cautiously advance into the centre of the ring and Dan offers up a knucklelock. Unsurprisingly, Rodez isn't too sure about locking up with the technical wizard of Black T and backs off for some thinking time. Eventually, Leon takes the bait though, locking knuckles with Black and going into a test of strength~! Dan immediately gains the advantage, lacing his leg behind Leon's to trip him. But Leon is able to bridge and block the trip, pushing himself back up to his feet to show great leg strength. Once on his feet, Rodez kicks Dan's left hand away and spins behind into a hammerlock. Dan can afford a wry smile as he looks for an escape. Finding no escape overhead, Black tries to twist out of the hammerlock...but Rodez hangs onto the arm and goes into an arm wringer. Only trouble is, Black is already two steps ahead, as he rolls through to the mat and pushes up with a headstand...confusing Rodez long enough to shoot his legs out, kicking The Silky Smooth One away and freeing himself from the arm wringer! Black pops right back to his feet and Rodez does the same, the latter applauding his opponents' efforts. COLE Wow, a great exchange to kick things off. We heard Leon Rodez two weeks ago and he vowed that this match would be a friendly encounter...maybe he was right. COACH Nah, it's gonna break down sooner or later, don't worry. Circling the ring, the two men meet in the centre and Dan again offers a knucklelock. Rodez fakes him out and tries to scoot behind but Dan catches him at the side in a gutwrench. Rodez grabs the leg in desperation. But that doesn't stop Black from dropping to the mat with the hold. Squirming free, Rodez gets to a seated position before being trapped again by The Ice Heart, in a waistlock this time. That seems a fairly safe place to be, until Black rocks back and stacks Rodez on his shoulders... 1... Rodez kicks himself back to a seated position. The Silky Smooth One then stands himself up and looks for an escape route while Dan looks for some traction on the mat. Neither man seems to be succeeding, until suddenly Rodez is hauled up off his feet for a German...but Rodez manages to block! Dan goes for the German again...but again, it's blocked! So Dan sweeps Rodez off his feet with a double leg takedown, then leap over the front and clamps on a front facelock. COLE Great wrestling from Dan Black, who's possibly the most technically sound wrestler in the company today. CABOOSE I don't think there's any arguement. Really wrenching on the move, focus is etched on Black's face as he knows his opponent is a slippery customer. He pulls Rodez up off the mat with the hold still applied, seemingly taking the chance to slow the match down. That is, until he suddenly throws Rodez's arm overhead and pops him with a SUDDEN Snap Suplex! Almost routinely, Black floats around and places him forearm across Rodez's jaw as he covers... 1... 2... Rodez kicks out quickly...but gets trapped right back into the front facelock! ZACK C'MON LEON! Zack Malibu's spirited support earns him a glare across the ring from Tony Brannigan, still no love lost between those two. Meanwhile, Black brings Leon up to his feet again, still clinging onto the front facelock. Rodez is trying to find a way out, but technical wrestling isn't a real strong point and Black is able to stay in control. "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" Starting to draw on the support of the fans, Rodez lands a forearm to the ribs. And a second. Black absorbs the shots with a minimum of fuss and simply jams his knee up into Rodez's sternum to quieten him down. But Rodez isn't one to give up that easily and he lands a couple more forearms before managing to back his opponent into a corner, which forces The Ice Heart into a break. Dan's an honourable fighter (usually) and gives a clean break...but once that break has passed it's course and Rodez is backed away, Dan lands a big forearm strike to the jaw! COACH Aw yeah, here we go! Rodez staggers back across the ring as Dan brushes the accusing Charles Robinson out of his way, advancing on Rodez... *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" ...only to get rocked with a knifedge chop! *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" ...and a second! *SLA - WHOOSH!* But The Ice Heart ducks a third...and almost takes Rodez's HEAD OFF with a hooking clothesline!! "OOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Taking the opportunity to recover, Black crouches over and regains his breath before going back on the attack. Black lands a stomp to the back of the head, a second and then a third. COLE This is not where Rodez wants to be. If Dan Black can get him grounded, then Black can begin a systematic breakdown of the youngster and it may just be a matter of time. Black casually reaches down to pick Rodez back up, but notices The Upstarts watching on from the ramp and gets momentarily distracted. He shakes that off though and drags up Leon by the hair, slamming a European uppercut into his chest. Rodez stumbles a little but doesn't go down. So Black lands a boot to the gut, setting his opponent by the arm and whipping him at full pelt into the corner. *WHAM!* Crashing into the buckles sternum first, the winded Silky Smooth One falls backwards and eventually collapses into the arms of Dan Black. Dan takes no chances and lands some quick forearms across the back before he applies a waistlock, then throws Rodez overhead with the German that he had attempted and failed at earlier in the match! COLE Release German Suplex by Black! Dan has upped the pace and upped the intensity! CABOOSE Well, Dan's desperate for that OAOAST World Title. He's one of the few 'Originals' to have never held the belt and being the final entrant in the Royal Rumble gives him a perfect chance to do just that. As Rodez lays hurt on the mat, Dan again casts a glance up toward The Upstarts congregated on the stage. Peter Knight is mockingly applauding The Ice Heart, his five new friends laughing jovially behind. Black again tries to stay focused on the match and again goes back to Rodez, dropping a simple but effective knee across the back. The Ice Heart then flips Rodez over and drops into a lateral press... 1... 2... Kickout! Deep down, Dan knows that he hadn't done enough to finish Rodez up. And he's already in the process of bringing Rodez back to his feet. *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Three quick knifedge chops leave Rodez on rubber legs in the centre of the ring, while Black runs off the ropes and slams through Rodez with a running elbow strike! Zack watches on with his head cupped solemnly in his hands. As Rodez slowly pulls himself up, Black whips him into the corner. This time, Rodez ends up going back-first into the buckles and there he remains, slumped in the corner. The Ice Heart takes a quick backstep before charging headlong across the ring, looking to avalanche Rodez...but he eats two raised boots, right in the mouth! Black stumbles backwards but shakes off the cobwebs and charges again, only to get two more boots into the face. Persistance is the name of the game for Black though and he decides to make one more attempt. This time, Rodez pushes up on the top rope and vaults over Dan, taking him over with a sunset flip... 1... 2... Kickout! Dan quickly scrambles to his feet, able to slam his knee haphazardly into Rodez's ribs to fend off any further attack. COLE Almost a shock pin from The Silky Smooth One. Dan needs to watch out for that from Rodez, a former X-Division Champion of course. Speed could be the key for Leon Rodez tonight. Following up on his lunging shot, Black slams a couple of forearms across the back of Rodez. Black then pulls Rodez up and rocks him with a European uppercut. Another. And a third! All Rodez can seem to do is stand a wobble now, unable to mount any offence against Dan who adds to his punishing sequence with a forearm strike. Rodez is at Black's mercy now, the former Mystery Eskimo taking his opponent by the arm and sending off towards the ropes with an irish whip... ...but at the last moment, Black re-thinks his strategy and once Rodez gets to arm's length he yanks him right back! Rodez's shoulder takes the full torque of the move before he sprawls forward and down face-first to the mat. And there he stays, clutching at his arm, as Black begins his next move which is picking up the arm and simply slamming it into the canvas! CABOOSE Well now Rodez is really in trouble. COLE Indeed. Dan has finally targetted a bodypart...and it's the arm, which doesn't bode well if Dan can get either of his Heart of Ice variations applied. Black continues to stalk over Rodez, picking his arm up again by the wrist. Stepping over the arm, Black does a quick squat, driving all of his bodyweight down onto Rodez's shoulder. Black then steps over once more and drops down beside Rodez to apply a Fujiwara Armbar. Knowing he's in trouble, Rodez scrambles and scurries, trying desperately to get away. And before Black can get the hold properly applied Rodez has reached the ropes and Dan is forced to break away. Break away he does. But Black smells blood now and he's not going to let up on the advantage he has, going right back on the attack as he stands up and stomps away at the shoulder repeatedly! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Wow, Dan wants to win this match, no doubt about it. This is some of the old Dan Black coming back out tonight! CABOOSE He's been pushed to it, Cole. They all have. These Upstarts are forcing Dan and Tony and Zack to up their intensity levels. On the ramp, The Upstarts are really getting a kick out of this now. Especially as Zack Malibu, furious at Charles Robinson's inability to get Dan off of Rodez while he's in the ropes, jumps to the apron and gets on Dan's case. That causes Dan to stop himself and turn to Zack, the two former enemies/uneasy allies glaring holes through each other for a brief moment before Zack is convinced to step off the apron. On the ramp, a collective smile adorns The Upstarts' faces. COLE Zack is no doubt worrying about his Tag Team Title Match on Sunday night as well. If Leon Rodez is going into that with a bad arm, then that doesn't bode well for Zack in that match and then the Rumble itself. COACH Exactly. It all revolves 'round Malibu. COLE I didn't say that. Obviously, Zack wants Leon to win for Leon's sake too. With no more distractions, Black brings Leon away from the ropes and uses a simple arm wringer to further weaken the arm. Turning to the outside Dan then mouths the words "watch this" in Zack's direction. And watch Zack does, as Black scoops Leon off his feet and over his shoulder, then drops to one knee and executes a Shoulderbreaker! Rodez shouts out in pain as that pain shoots up his arm. But, Dan isn't done. He keeps Rodez over his shoulder and lands a second Shoulderbreaker! Dan then dumps Rodez unceremoniously and makes the pin... 1... 2... Kickout!! Dan sits Rodez up right after his kickout and hooks his opponent's arm under his to apply a top armbar. "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" Fight is flowing through Leon's body again now, the crowd's energy transferring into his. Leon shifts himself to the side and fights to his feet, forcing Dan into a modification of his armbar at the side. As he reaches his feet, Leon then starts to attack. One, two, three left hands find their mark in The Ice Heart's gut. Rodez tries to pull his arm from Dan's grip but Dan is holding tight, so Rodez goes upstairs with some lefts to the face. And eventually Dan is forced to release the arm, at which point Rodez takes Dan down with a left arm clothesline! "YYEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" COLE Rodez is fighting back! His arm is hurting, but he's fighting back regardless! Dan is quickly back up and quickly back down, with another left clothesline. Coming straight back up again Black charges, but Leon ducks his head and sends Dan flying overhead with a BAAAACK bodydrop! And now, Rodez is in full BABYFACE FIRE~! mode. But it's at that point that the pain shooting through his arm hits him and he drops to one knee to tend to it. COLE The work Dan Black has done certainly hasn't gone to waste, but Rodez is showing he has a lot of heart. COACH Which is good. We wouldn't want Dan to have an easy night now, would we? CABOOSE Feel free to go stand with your buddies any time you want Coach. We'll manage fine without you. Gritting his teeth, Rodez fights through the pain and boots Dan in the gut as he returns to his feet. With his arm out of action, he then keeps up with the kicks, landing two straight ones to the chest before backing into the ropes. As he comes back though, Rodez shoots too high with the clothesline and misses the ducking Dan, who switches behind his opponent and goes for a Drago...NO! Rodez manages to elbow Dan with his good left arm, hard enough for Dan to fall across the middle rope clutching his eye. He's all too concerned with that eye as well. Forgetting all about Leon, who does the DANCE~! and runs into the opposite ropes, before charging back at Dan and driving his weight into The Ice Heart's lower back! COACH CALL THAT BITCH BOJANGLES~! COLE ... COACH What? Oh, yeah, right, The Upstart thing. BOOOOOOOO!! YO' AIN'T NUTHIN! Rodez backs up and waits, beckoning in Black. Pushing himself off the ropes, Black weakly turns around to where Leon is waiting, with a Superki... ...DUCKED! Black avoids the kick and sweeps Rodez down by the arm, INTO THE HEART OF ICE!!! "RRRAAAAAHHHHHH!!" COLE OH! HE GOT HIM! The Crippler Crossface, The Heart Of Ice, applied by The Ice Heart!! CABOOSE From out of nowhere!! On the outside Zack throws his hands up in despair and rushes around into Leon's eyeline to encourage him on, while Tony coolly smiles in the corner. The Upstarts are smiling too, as Dan wrenches back on The Heart Of Ice. Robinson is right over to check for a submission as Rodez is already yelling out in pain, despite the crossface across his...well, across his face. "PLEASE DON'T TAP!" "PLEASE DON'T TAP!" "PLEASE DON'T TAP!" "PLEASE DON'T TAP!" The fans make no secret of their alligence as Dan pushes up on his toes, trying to add more leverage to his hold. It seems to be working as Rodez's howls grow more agonised and his hand suddenly begins to hover! Zack is now slamming his fists into the apron, willing his Tag Team Title partner to fight through the pain, to fight the hold. Rodez is hurting though and his shoulder is being torn away at, the temptation to give it up growing and growing with each passing second. "PLEASE DON'T TAP!" "PLEASE DON'T TAP!" "PLEASE DON'T TAP!" COLE This is a punishing hold, but Rodez has one of the strongest fighting spirits in the entire OAOAST. He will not go without a fight, guaranteed! Rodez suddenly pushes up on his free hand, inching his legs under him as he tries to crawl for the ropes. Still Dan is determined that this will be the end and he wrenches back on the hold some more, desperate to make Leon tap out. But Leon won't give and continues to crawl forward. Inch by inch. Until, finally... ...HE GRABS THE ROPES!!! "YYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" Black breaks the hold angrily and immediately, storming back to his feet and trying to figure out exactly how Leon could have escaped. From the outside Tony shouts some encouragement to his partner and tries to keep his mind clear and focused. Across the ring, Zack is trying to check on Rodez, which Charles Robinson obviously has a problem with. COLE Just like I said, tremendous fighting spirit from Leon Rodez! He's determined to gain that #30 entry number. CABOOSE Yeah, but Number 30 or not, Rodez won't win the Rumble with a dislocated shoulder...especially after The New, New Midnight Express are through with him. Having got his head straight, Black goes back over to Rodez and drags him away from the ropes. A quick elbow lands across Landon's solarplexus, a second soon to follow. Dan then stops and goes back to the arm, picking Rodez up and pinning his arm behind his back with a hammerlock before DRIVING him shoulder first into the top turnbuckle! Rodez collapses into the corner groaning in agony. Not content with that, Dan turns Rodez around and lashes him with a knifedge chop in the corner! "WHOOOOOOOOO!" With his opponent weakened, Black casually pulls him from the corner and s l o w l y wrings the arm one more time, giving it a little snap at the end. Black then pulls Rodez in by the arm and ducks his head, throwing Rodez with a Northern Lights Suplex and completing the bridge... 1... 2... KICKOUT!! Zack breathes another sigh of relief and applauds his partner. But he's far from out of trouble, as Dan sits him up and locks on a half nelson on the injured arm. Pain and exhaustion have weakened Rodez and he slumps in the hold with no signs of life, until Dan begins to pull him to his feet. Still with the Half Nelson, Black wraps an arm around Rodez and prepares to throw him overhead with a suplex...but Rodez wraps his leg around Black's and blocks it! Another block! But Dan quickly takes the fight out of Rodez with a firm headbutt to the shoulder, dropping him back to his knees. CABOOSE There come a time where you have to prioritise and if Dan keeps this up, the time may be near for Rodez. He's got a Tag Title Match and the Rumble in 3 days. Being Number 30 would be great and all, but carrying on so long with a shoulder injury is selfish. He's got a tag partner to think about. COACH Man, ya'll selfish. CABOOSE Maybe you Upstarts would get more respect if you spoke properly? COACH Yo, we speak good and everythin'! Stepping in front of his opponent, Black confidently smiles up at The Upstarts as he pulls Rodez into a front headscissors. Dan then reaches down and flips Rodez up onto his shoulders. On the way up, Rodez swings out with an instinctive shot which stops the Wild Bomb. But Rodez also succeeds in hurting his arm with the punch, allowing Black time to re-compose himself before completing a not-quite 'Wild', but very potent Powerbomb! BLACK THAT'S IT! The Brit gives the universal signal before heading over to the corner and climbing towards the top rope. Zack vainly tries to will Rodez up, but The Silky Smooth One isn't moving. And Dan is now up top, measuring his opponent as he soars off the top with the Swandive Headbutt... *WHAM!* ...AND MISSES!! "YYEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Nobody home!! Rodez rolled out of the way at the very last second and The Ice Heart eats a faceful of canvas!! CABOOSE And saves himself in the process! Dan's head was hurtling right towards that right shoulder and had it connected, no way would Rodez have kicked out. Both men are down, Rodez's shoulder still causing him big problems...so Charles Robinson is forced to lay down a ten count. "ONE!" "TWO!" "THREE!" ZACK C'MON LEON, GET UP!! "FOUR!" COLE Man, Zack's really getting into this! "FIVE!" CABOOSE Of course he is! He doesn't want to get trumped by Black T in any way, shape or form. "SIX!" Rodez is up, breaking the count. The fact that his arm is hanging by a thread stops him from going straight on the attack though, which gives Dan time to get up as well. Shaking off the cobwebs, Dan charges at Rodez with a running back elbow. Rodez sees it coming and swoops underneath though, hitting the ropes and wiping Dan out with a crossbody block... 1... 2... Dan kicks out! Popping right back up, Rodez is prepared for Dan to strike and again ducks his arm. This time, he comes to a stop behind Dan and waits for him to turn around, before popping him with a (left) JAB! JAB! JAB! JAB! JAB! Rodez turns to blow the kiss...AND DAN CAPITALISES, with a knee to the back! The fans who had stood ready for some Mama Said Knock You Out action sit themselves glumly back down, as Black hits the ropes in front of Rodez. Rodez instinctively tries to stand, but only reaches one knee. A knee which Black steps up off to throw a Shining Wizar...DUCKED! Rodez ducks the knee and as Dan lands in front of him, tumbles over with an Oklahoma Roll... 1... 2... Kickout! COLE No! Couldn't keep Dan's weight down, due to the weakened shoulder. Both men are up and this time Rodez pre-empts Black, ducking a non-existant strike. Black is left confused by that, stumbling forward a step before gaining his bearings, turning around... *SMACK!* ...and Rodez completes a belated Mama Said Knock You Out~! combo with the step-up enziguri! Black stops abruptly and after a delayed reaction and his head rattling around on his shoulders, he falls backwards and looks to be completely out cold. Despite that though, Rodez isn't done and he drags Black labouriously with one arm to a position near the corner. Once Dan is in place, The Silky Smooth One then flashes a thumbs up to the crowd before heading for the top. COLE And now, it's Rodez looking to go to the top, despite the crashing and burning Dan Black did earlier from his aerial attempt! Scaling the turnbuckles isn't easy for Rodez with his bad arm. But he perserveres and gets to the top, Black still laid out in front of him. In perfect position, as Rodez extends on the top and tumbles into the 450 Splash... ...NO! Black rolls out of harm's way, leaving Rodez to plummet into a crumpled mess!! "OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Because The Lady Loves, misses! And much like Dan before him, Leon crashes and burns in a spectacular fashion! CABOOSE And I think he landed with his arm tucked underneath him too. The Upstarts mockingly applaud the missed 450, as Dan begins to drag himself up using the ropes. "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" We're almost at a stalemate, as Rodez is back up but hurting and Dan is up but still clearly groggy. Tony and Zack's encouragement is lost among the chanting of the crowd, but they're encouraging nonetheless, as Dan stalks over to Rodez and slams him with a European uppercut! Dropping to one knee, Rodez has no answer. So Dan exposes his chest again and lands a second European uppercut! Rodez collapses back into the ropes and takes a third European, before Dan grabs the arm and looks for an irish whip...which, despite the bad arm, Rodez finds a way to reverse. Black reverses right back though and as Rodez bounces off the ropes, Black ducks his head...TOO EARLY! Stopping in front of Black, Leon hooks up an arm, then the other, elevating for the Tiger Dri...NO! Rodez's right arm doesn't hold out and he has to drop Black safely down. That allows Dan to elevate Rodez up and escape Rodez's flimsy underhook in the process, hoisting The Silky Smooth One up into a fireman's carry. Rodez squirms and struggles, but Dan has him up and has him set for a DEATH VALLEY DRIVER!! "OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" 1... 2... 3 - NOOOO!!! "YYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" CABOOSE I don't believe it. COLE Believe it Caboose! Leon Rodez kicked out, again! COACH This is brilliant. Black glances up at Charles Robinson and simply shakes his head. But he doesn't let himself get too down as he switches himself beside Rodez. Grabbing the loose right arm, Dan then begins to set up for the Heart Of Ice. As he does though, a thought runs through his head and he changes his mind slighty, hooking Rodez's arm over his head instead of through the legs and applies the Heart Of Ice V2!!! COLE Submission hold applied again from Black! And if anything, this version of the Heart of Ice will do MORE damage to the arm than the traditional version will! Immediately Rodez awakens from his DVD induced sleep and starts to roar in pain. Black pushes up on his feet and leans back, stretching Leon's shoulder socket to it's limits, as Charles Robinson is right in Leon's face to ask him if he wants to give up. "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" COLE And now, Zack is playing cheerleader on the outside, getting the crowd behind Leon! COACH Male cheerleaders in wrestling? What a ridiculous idea... Rodez is refusing to give in, but it's only a matter of time. The expert technician, Black is tearing away at the arm and shoulder and it looks grim for Leon. He can't see the ropes properly with a head wrenched towards the ceiling, but he reaches out anyway... ...but finds nothing, leaving his arm hovering perilously over the mat... "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" ...and all the crowd support can't help Leon, as his hand lowers towards the mat... ...and pushes him up off his stomach~! Black's elevated body positioning means his weight isn't fully on Rodez's back, allowing Rodez to push up and roll to the side, taking Black with him and into a modified pinning position... 1... 2... NO! Black kicks out, scrambling to his feet and catching Rodez with a boot to the head! COLE Can you believe the heart and the fight in this kid!?! CABOOSE Gimme a break. COLE What? You're supposed to be routing for him yourself, 'Boose. CABOOSE Not against Dan I'm not. C'MON DAN! BRIT PRIDE, BABY! Coming to a stop, Black isn't quite sure what to do. Black has never been in a match with Rodez before, at least not one with regular rules like these and to be honest, he's surprised at his persistance. His downright frustrating persistance. Instead of going back on the attack, Black crouches and waits for Rodez to get back up. Zack resists the urge to jump in and help while Leon slowly clambers back up, right arm hanging at his side, slowly lumbering around in search of his opponent... KICK *WHAM!* BLACKOU... NO! Rodez counters the Blackout, pushing Black off into the ropes just before he can sitout. As he comes back, Black aims a clothesline. Rodez ducks though, spinning to meet Black once more and dropping him with a Heamorrhoid causing Inverted Atomic Drop on the left side...followed up with a quick DDT! Black's head bounces off the mat and he lands right by Rodez, who drapes himself weakly over for the cover... 1.. 2... KICKOUT!! COLE Man, what a match! COACH Yeah...what a 'long, gruelling, taking two of the Royal Rumble contenders out in one swoop' match is right! Rodez is right back up, summoning on some more reserve as he wearily walks towards the corner and hops up to the middle rope. There he waits, as Black returns to his feet and stumbles over Leon's direction. Ready and waiting, Leon throws a punch...but Black blocks it, snapping upward with an uppercut that catches Leon right under the jaw! Rodez stumbles back and ends up sat on the top rope, dazed long enough for Black to shake out some cobwebs of his own before stepping up to the middle rope beside him. COLE Uh oh. They're in dangerous territory on those ropes and...wait, what is Dan doing? CABOOSE Looks like a middle rope Exploder Suplex to me. COLE MY GOD HE'LL KILL US ALL!! CABOOSE Just because I'm naturally impassive, doesn't mean you have to try and make up for it with unmatchable hyperbole. Standing carefully on the middle rope, Black has Rodez hooked under head and arm. All Black has to do now is throw Rodez overhead and feed, proverbially, on the carcass he leaves behind. But Rodez has other ideas and slams his elbow into the side of Black's head. The fact he's using his right arm leaves Rodez in as much pain as Black. Desperate times call for desperate measures though and Rodez continues to fire off elbows, ignoring the immense pain he's putting himself in as much as possible until finally Dan releases his grip and tries not to tumble off the ropes to the floor! Rodez tends to his shoulder again, but still Black is on the ropes. And, unwilling to to further risk his arm, Leon goes with something way out of his usual repetoire. A headbutt. *THUD!* "OOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" Black collapses off the ropes and lands on his back, perpendicular to the corner. A mighty cheer goes up, despite the fact Rodez is now seeing stars on the turnbuckles. But there's no time for that. Despite the cloudy vision and neutralised arm, he has to act now. Rodez carefully steps a foot off the middle rope and places it up top. And as the crowd rise to their feet, Rodez places the second one up top and tumbles off, 450 style... ...CONNECTS!! "YYEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE 450! He got him with the 450 this time!! Favouring his arm on landing, Rodez has to slump his body over Black rather than 'pin' him... 1... 2... 3!!!!!!! "YYEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" ...BUT IT'S ENOUGH!! The crowd got nuts as Robinson's hand slaps the mat for a third time, prompting Zack to instinctively jump for joy on the floor! Tony hangs his head as he watches on, as Zack slides in and helps his tag team partner to his feet. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, your winner of the match...and now, the NUMBER THIRTY ENTRANT in the Royal Rumble Match, this Sunday at AnglePalooza..."SILKY SMOOTH" LLEEEEEEOOONN RRRRROOOOOOODDEEEEZZZZZ!! "YYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE My word, what a match! And what huge victory for Leon Rodez! Dan Black worked the arm for virtually the entire match, he imobilised the Silky Smooth One and he put him in tremendous pain...but Rodez just would not give up! He would not quit! And somehow, Leon Rodez would not be denied and now he is the Number 30 Entrant in this Sunday's Royal Rumble! CABOOSE But at what cost? To both men! Zack raises Rodez's good arm aloft and turns to taunt The Upstarts. But as he does, he and his partner notice that The Upstarts don't need to be taunted. They're happy. They saw the match they wanted to see, no matter the result. Rodez is injured and there's no way Dan will be 100% this Sunday either. And for The Upstarts, as they begin to make their collective leave, it's been a win-win start to the night for them. COLE Leon Rodez has shortened his odds, this Sunday night...but, what of Zack Malibu? Axel and Peter Knight have promised a big announcement in the course of this broadcast. And while Zack is happy now, he may not be smiling later on! We will be back, right after this commercial break!

Maybe if we had a pic of the magazine cover, we could treat this as something over than bullshit? Or, in other 'words', OMGSOURCEPLZ~!

Who are you all to doubt El Dandy?