King Cucaracha

Dressing like this WASN'T SNITSKY'S FAULT~! ...somebody had to say it I guess.

LOVE SHACK RETURNS~! And this week's guests are...Chicks Over Dicks! Brains shall explode!

Seeing as I've still got my two main characters' matches to come, I'll hold off on feedback. I will say PFL did an awesome job in particular with the Torneo Cibernetica. Also, I hope Tony is okay with the ending to Bohemoth/Brannigan. Had I time last night, I'd have run it by him just incase, but I didn't, so meh.

Better late than never. First off, you have to be two weight classes up from the opponent. So Big Show, Sup. Heavyweight, can lift Light Heavyweights and Cruiserweights. When your opponent is stunned (ie., could be it with a finisher), simply grapple them and they'll pick them up with the Gorilla Press. Position yourself facing the ropes, press O and you'll throw them.

How much did The Demon end up costing WCW?

"[i]He's simply ravishing...[b]OWWWW![/b][/i]" The crowd give a mixed reaction to the cueing of "Simply Ravishing" and the entrance of Tony Brannigan, clad in all green tonight, strolling out of the Originals' entranceway. COLE And we are now ready for an Original/Upstart, battle of the bigmen! The Upstarts' bodyguard and former HI-YAH Heavyweight Champion Bohemoth faces the single biggest challenge of his career to date, as he takes on the former OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion, Tony "The Body" Brannigan! CABOOSE And you wanna talk Originals...Tony's one of the true originals. Love him or hate him, which I've done plenty of myself, Tony lives and breathes this company. COACH Jeez, why don't you just MARRY him already. CABOOSE Hey, I could do worse than marrying the Best Body in the Business! ... CABOOSE ...I was kidding, obviously. COLE 'Obviously'. Strolling confidently down the aisle, Brannigan has the classic Rick Rude pout on his face, not looking concerned at all as he climbs the steps and enters the ring. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first at this time...hailing from Hollywood, UUU ESS AYY! Weighing in tonight at two hundred, seventy two pounds. A member of Black T and the former OAOAST Heavyweight Champion of the WOORRLLDD... TTOOOOOOOOOOONNYYYYYYY "THE BODY"... BBRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAANNIIIIIIGGGGAAAAAAAAAANN!!!!!! Another loud but mixed reaction goes up, as Brannigan removes his rhinestone encrusted robe and hits the HIP SWIVEL~! Cue camera shot of two young ladies in the fourth row screaming. Carefully, Brannigan passes his robe to an attendant out at ringside. Tony then begins to limber up, while the awesomely cool strains of "Back In Black" by AC/DC cut through the P.A System. Still Tony doesn't look bothered. Even as the frame of Bohemoth appears in the Upstart entranceway. COACH AW YUH, SON~! Stopping on the ramp, Bohemoth looks down into the ring and growls. BUFFER And, his opponent. Hailing from Greensboro, South Carolina and weighing in at two hundred, eighty four and three quarter pounds! Representing The Upstarts! He is a former HI-YAH World Heavyweight Champion...ladies and gentlemen, this IS... BBOOOOOOOOOOHHHH - EEEEEEEMMOOOOOOOTTHHHHHHH!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Bohemoth brushes past the fans at the corner of the aisle, jogging determinedly up the steel steps and quickly entering the ring. Lounged in a neutral corner, Tony smirks. Bohemoth glares over at the Black T veteran from the centre of the ring, prompting Buffer to get the hell out of the ring while his legs are still attached to the rest of his body. COLE Man, I wouldn't want to be Charles Robinson right now. CABOOSE Look at him, compared to Tony and Bohemoth. It's almost like you compared to me! Looking nervously to both men, Robinson checks they're ready... *DINGDINGDING!* And we are underway. Neither man reacts to the bell though, Bohemoth remaining in the centre of the ring, Tony still relaxed in the corner. Stand-off. Tony eventually leaves the corner, eyeing up his opposition as he breaks into a mini-jog to get the blood flowing. As he comes to a stop ready to lock-up though, Tony halts, as Bohemoth shows off TEH GUNZ~! COACH YEAH-UH~! CABOOSE Gimme a break! Bohemoth's nothing but a wannabe bodybuilder. He should realise now he's up close and personal, T-Bod is the real deal! Wiping away a smile, Tony gives Robinson a look as if to say "is he for real?" COACH Since when did you like Brannigan so much anyways? CABOOSE Well, when did you start liking Bohemoth so much? COACH Couple'months back. CABOOSE Then that's when I started liking Tony. Give or take a few seconds. Holding his hands up, a little time is bought by Tony. Going to the ropes, he does a quick series of stretches, loosening up the arms before turning back to Bohemoth...DOUBLE BICEP POSE~! Bohemoth begins to scoff, but Tony isn't done. Brushing his hands across his forehead, Tony wipes the sweat from his brow (hey, arena lights are hot man) and flicks the sweat into Bohemoth's face! "YYEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Oh boy! Tony isn't intimidated by Bohemoth! The disrespect from T-Bod gets a huge pop from the crowd. It also works Bohemoth up into a rage, the bigman almost foaming at the mouth as he turns away and wipes his face. Still in a rage, Bohemoth then turns around with fists clenched...but Tony cuts him off with a jab! And another! Another! Tony backs Bohemoth into the ropes with the right hands and looks for an irish whip. Reversing, Bohemoth sends Tony into the ropes though. Building some steam, Tony charges back with a shoulder block and nobody moves! Tony stops in his tracks, as Bohemoth dares him to try again. So he does, hitting the ropes and barging into The Upstart. But again, nobody moves! Except Tony that is, who stumbles back a couple of steps as he struggles to keep his footing. Noticeably gaining in confidence, Bohemoth dares Tony on once more, setting himself as Tony rebounds off the ropes. But this time, Tony skids to a halt in front of Bohemoth and rocks him with a right hand! Bohemoth is caught off guard by the blow and stumbles backwards, far enough for Tony to get a run-up on a big clothesline that knocks Bohemoth down! COLE Down goes Bohemoth! The first knockdown of the match is scored by Tony! CABOOSE What is this, Brawl For All? Shut up and watch the damn match! As Bohemoth pulls himself back up, Tony meets him at his knees with a clubbing forearm to the back. And a second. Grabbing hold of ears and mouth, gruesomly, Tony brings Bohemoth back up to a vertical base and nails another right hand. Bohemoth shakes it off though, stunning Tony with a knee. Bohemoth then grabs Tony around the back of the head and flings him face-first into the top turnbuckle in the corner! Recoiling, Tony falls right back into Bohemoth, who sends him in again. This time Brannigan slumps face-down in the corner, giving Bohemoth time to clear the cobwebs. COLE This'll give Bohemoth time to clear the cobwebs! CABOOSE *groans* Clear the cobwebs he does, before pulling Tony out of the corner. An arm wrench sets Tony up, the former World Champion getting pulled into a Short Arm Clothesli...NO! Tony ducks, switching behind Bohemoth and attempting a back suplex. The bigman blocks though. Blocking again. Sensing he can't get Bo up quite yet, Tony quickly changes tactics and shoves Bohemoth forwards into the turnbuckles. And as he staggers out, Tony follows up with a forearm to the kidneys of Bohemoth! Holding onto the tights, Tony then pushes Bohemoth forward a step with one arm, pulling him back with the other...and into the forearm again! This time, Bohemoth falls to his knees. Brannigan isn't done though, pushing Bohemoth forward again... ...but Bohemoth grabs the top rope and hangs on for dear life! Bohemoth's tights are at the verge of being ripped right off now. So, it's thankful that Tony lets go and instead charges with the forearm this time. As Tony connects though, Bohemoth swings back with an elbow which also finds it's target, leaving Bohemoth clutching his back while Tony staggers back towards the centre of the ring. Bohemoth is first to recover, charging through Tony with a clothesline! Immediately he favours his spine, but shrugs it off long enough to make a cover... 1... 2... Barely even two! CABOOSE No way are you going to beat a former World Champion like that. Pulling Tony back up, Bohemoth returns the earlier favour with a couple of quick right hands. Grabbing the arm, Bohemoth then sets Tony up and irish whips him at full power, sending Tony CRASHING into the turnbuckles! Tony bounces out hard and collapses. Bohemoth smiles, mocking Tony with a hip swivel! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Bohemoth catches Tony getting back to his feet and sends him the other way, hard spine first into the opposite turnbuckle than before. The result is the same, as Tony falls to the mat in agony. COLE Tony's a powerful man, no doubt. But the strength that Bohemoth possesses is downright frightening! He's throwing 272 pounds around like it's nothing! As the aching former World Champion clambers up, he's suddenly trapped in a Bearhug. Tony knows all about this hold and tries to escape quickly, with a double ear clap. But he gets hoisted up seconds later! Carrying Tony around like nobody's business, Bohemoth peaks over his opponent's shoulder and finds the corner...charging and driving Tony into the turnbuckles! Tony slumps to his knees momentarily. But Bohemoth picks him straight back up into the Bearhug and sets about crushing Tony into a second corner! And the damage isn't done yet, as Bohemoth picks Tony up again. This time, Bo milks the Bearhug for a few seconds, before sending Tony's lower back into a third turnbuckle! Setting Tony on the buckles, Bohemoth then takes a moment to catch his breath, before reaching up and hauling Tony off the middle rope with an ALMIGHTY Hiptoss!! "OOOOOOHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Good lord, what a beil off the buckles! That's two hundred, seventy two pounds! COACH Now THAT'S impressive! Forget shaking your hips and flexing your biceps, that's how the new generation get the job done! Tony writhes in agony as a result of the tremendous throw, as Bohemoth finally decides to attempt the cover... 1... 2... Kickout. Glaring at Robinson briefly, Bohemoth sets Tony up in a seated position and applies a Full Nelson. COLE Submission hold applied. This is really going to wear down Tony here, with the damage that his back has already taken in this match. The seated position Tony is in allows Bohemoth to really lean forward with the move, bending Tony as much over himself as he physically can. Tony's neck is almost at right angles to his shoulders as Bohemoth puts the squeeze on some more. But Tony isn't done yet. Drawing energy from somewhere, Tony rolls to the side and begins to fight back up. Some of the crowd are now rallying behind Tony. Reaching his feet, the next step for Tony is seemingly to reach the ropes. Bohemoth pulls Tony out into the centre of the ring immediately though, showing surprising ring positioning for a 'musclehead'. "TO - NEE!" "TO - NEE!" "TO - NEE!" "TO - NEE!" Suddenly, up go the chants. Something which Tony isn't too accustomed to and even less accustomed to drawing strength from. Bohemoth powers down on the neck again. But Tony won't surrender and backs up, sending Bohemoth back into the turnbuckles. That hurts Tony as much as Bohemoth though and the Full Nelson stays on. COLE Tony's gonna have to use all his veteran instincts to get out of this hold... CABOOSE Yeah, I bet he goes for the nutshot too. Tony clings on in, Charles Robinson asking him if he gives up. He doesn't. Fighting on, Tony begins to inch forwards, feeling out in front of him with his foot for the ropes. He's still a few feet away but he continues to shuffle himself and the hold forwards. Inch. By inch. Until finally, Tony kicks out a foot...and it lands on the middle rope! Robinson springs into life and lays the count on! 1! 2! 3! 4! ...BUT BOHEMOTH PULLS TONY AWAY! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Damnit, make him break the hold ref! COACH Why? He's not in the ropes... COLE He WAS! The crowd are livid with Robinson, who dares not risk life and limb to force a break. Meanwhile, Bohemoth pulls Tony all the out from the ropes and drills him with a Full Nelson Slam! Falling to his knees with the move, Bohemoth makes an instant hook of the leg... 1... 2... Kickout! COLE Man, that would have been some controversy there if Tony hadn't kicked out. COACH Ah, phfooey! Tony was in the ropes, Bohemoth dragged him out of the ropes...no big deal. CABOOSE Gimme a break...if you were any more biased, Coach, you'd be Michael Cole. COLE Hey! I resent that! Both men are back to their feet now, but Tony is only so by force. Bohemoth whips Tony into the corner. This time, Tony slumps into the turnbuckles, so Bohemoth sprints in and lands a big clothesline in the corner! Tony is thrown up by the force and crashes straight down to the canvas. Bohemoth picks him right back up though, pulling Tony out and into a quick Sidewalk Slam... 1... 2... Shoulder up! Bohemoth climbs straight back up, backing into a corner and encouraging Tony to get back up. Slowly, T-Bod begins to do so and slowly he reaches his feet. Lost for a moment, he turns around looking for Bohemoth...who just happens to be sprinting headlong towards him... ...YAKUZA KICK... ...DUCKED! Bohemoth skids to a halt and quickly turns around, charging again. Tony is waiting on him with a boot to the gut though. And a split second later, Tony follows up with a Million $ Kneelift, snapping Bohemoth's head towards the lights and causing him to stumble back a few steps, falling through the middle rope and landing on the apron. COLE Desperation move from T-Bod, but he's clearly hurting still. CABOOSE No kidding. I'm surprised Bohemoth has done as well as he has so far and it's certainly had an effect. Falling to one knee, Tony clutches at his back while Bohemoth pulls himself up on the apron. Bohemoth is dis-orientated and takes a moment to figure out where he is. Allowing Tony to catch him with a right hand. Another. Bohemoth hangs onto the top rope for dear life, teetering over the edge of the ring. Another right hand. A fourth. Bohemoth is almost gone. Ano...NO, BLOCKED...but Tony blocks as well and knees Bohemoth in the gut! The bigman doubles over on the outside as Tony grabs him by the arm and tries to whip him down the apron. At arms length though, Bohemoth puts on the brakes. And he manages to change the direction of the whip, sending Tony dashing forward and hard, sideways into the turnbuckles in the corner! Tony stumbles out clutching at his ribs, while Bohemoth enters the ring behind him and scurries across, creating a run-up for himself. Some of the crowd are up on their feet, urging Tony not to turn around. But he does so anyway... *SMACK!* ...AND TAKES A FACEFUL OF YAKUZA KICK FOR HIS TROUBLE!! COACH BOOYAH! Out like a light! Tony collapses in a heap, Bohemoth confidently cradling the leg for the pin... 1... 2... SHOULDER UP! "YYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" Bohemoth can't believe it, bearing down on Charles Robinson who fearfully backs away into a corner. All the while, followed by Bohemoth Getting his cool, Bohemoth eventually finishing stalking Robinson with a growl before going back for Tony. COLE Bohemoth needs to keep his temper in check here. Beating up the referee won't get you a victory over a former World Champion. COACH No, but it'll sure make you fee... COLE SMALL PACKAGE! SMALL PACKAGE! 1... 2... BOHEMOTH KICKS OUT! Scrambling to his feet, Bohemoth beats Tony up and knees him in the ribs! A second time! And again, just for good luck! Writhing around, Tony groans under his breath, as Bohemoth is thankful not to fall victim to a sneaky pin from T-Bod. CABOOSE That's some veteran cunning there. COACH That's cheating, was what it was! Bohemoth pulls Tony up again, lifting him off his feet and carrying him over into the corner. A forearm from Tony sends Bohemoth staggering back though, caught completely by surprise. Gaining his bearings, Bohemoth charges. Right into a couple of raised boots from Brannigan! Bohemoth staggers backwards, but charges again undettered...into raised boots again! Away staggers Bohemoth again as this time, Tony scales the ropes and comes off the middle with a double axehandle. Bohemoth sees him coming though, CATCHING Tony over his shoulder and DRIVING him back into the corner! The groan from the crowd just about masks the groan from T-Bod, as Bohemoth shakes away the cobwebs. Reaching out, he then grabs Tony by the wrist and yanks him out of the corner...INTO A FRONT SPINEBUSTER! 1... 2... ONLYTWO! "YYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH NO! Unable to believe his luck, Bohemoth stomps up to his feet and again begins to pursue referee Charles Robinson. Charles wisely leaves the ring this time, leaving Bohemoth to fume on his own. And fume he does, turning to the crowd with eyes like thunder. Thumbs Up. THUMBS DOWN~! COLE Uh-oh, this is it! That's the signal for the Erotic Awakening Of B, which puts everyone down once it connects! Tony Brannigan may be no exception here tonight! COACH He won't be, don't worry! Bohemoth, having given the signal, now looks for the end. Turning back, he stalks Tony, who is pulling himself up on the ropes and looks in a pretty bad way. Just as Bohemoth wants. Grabbing Tony's arm, Bohemoth wheels him around...but Tony stuns him with a thumb to the eye, much to the pleasure of the crowd! Bohemoth stops and clasps a hand over his eye, as Tony stoops low and manages to heave Bohemoth up, just far enough to fall back and drop the bigman throat first across the top rope! COLE Stun Gun! Head and neck snapping back, Bohemoth stumbles backwards, as Tony has found some energy from somewhere. A right hand! Another. And a third. The blows are having their effect but they're not putting down the trained bodyguard, so Tony has to try another tactic. Namely, going to the knee. A quick kick lurches Bohemoth's right leg from underneath him and he sprawls forwards, right into Tony's arms. Lift...and an Inverted Atomic Drop! Bohemoth hops about on the spot, as Tony hits the ropes, running right through Bohemoth with a forearm and knocking him off his feet! "YYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" Feeling it now, Tony has the adrenaline flowing. Bohemoth is quickly back up, but Tony is waiting on him. Catching Bohemoth with a quick toe kick to the gut, Tony pulls the doubled over Upstart in and sets for the Attitude Adjustment Piledri... ...NO! Tony's back gives way on him and he drops Bohemoth back down. COACH HAHA! Looks like old man Brannigan needs his walker! COLE Oh, come on Coach, be serious! COACH Hey, I know it's serious. Considering his age, that might have been a hernia, right there! HAHA! Left clutching at his back, the injured T-Bod stops and tried to tend to himself. As meanwhile, Bohemoth is back up and grabs Tony, planting him with another Front Spinebuster...BUT TONY HOOKS THE HEAD ON THE WAY DOWN, COUNTERING WITH A DDT!! Both men take the moves! And both men are down, leaving Charles Robinson left standing in the ring to make the count! 1! 2! 3! COLE A superb counter by Tony! But I think he took as much of that move as Bohemoth did! 4! 5! Beginning to stir, Brannigan hears the count and starts to drag himself over to where Bohemoth lays. 6! Bohemoth is out cold, looking up at the lights. All Tony needs to do is crawl a few more feet and he's got Bohemoth KOed, but that's easier said than done with the punishment his back has taken. 7! Over crawls Tony... 8! ...and he drops an arm over Bohemoth! 1... 2... KICKOUT!! COLE Gah! So close to three for Tony! CABOOSE He just couldn't get over in time, with that bad back. Now it's Tony's turn to despair at the close count. But, being a veteran, he doesn't let it affect him. Pulling himself up on the ropes, Tony waits for Bohemoth to get back up. Bohemoth does so and swings wildly for Brannigan, who ducks his head narrowly in time and catches Bohemoth on the way around with a boot to the gut. Applying a front facelock, Tony then sets Bohemoth up for a suplex. No chance. Tony's back isn't strong enough for him to muscle Bohemoth up. So Tony goes to the gut with one, two, three hard knees. Adjusting the facelock, Tony then pulls Bohemoth in and slowly wrenches him around by the neck, until he's back to back with the bigman. "YYEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHH!" CABOOSE Here comes a Rude Awakening! But Bohemoth wants none of the Rude Awakening and starts to throw back elbows. Once the third elbow connects, Tony can hang on no more and crashes forwards. He soon picks himself up. But Bohemoth is waiting, scooping Tony up into his arms with ease! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Oh no, he caught Tony! COACH YEAH! Erotic Awakening Of B! Carrying Tony quickly into the centre of the ring, Bohemoth sets himself. It's late in the match and Tony is pretty heavy. But that doesn't stop Bohemoth, as he sets and swings T-Bod around... ...out... ...NO! TONY LANDS ON HIS FEET! A couple of quick elbows rock Bohemoth, before Tony goes to the abdomen with a knee. Grabbing the front facelock, Tony then twists Bohemoth into position, swivels the hips...and DROPS BOHEMOTH DOWN! RUDE AWAKENING!! "YYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!" COLE TONY GOT IT! AT THE SECOND TIME OF ASKING!! The crowd come unglued as Tony holds his ribs, but blocks out the pain and rolls over on top of Bohemoth. 1... 2... 3... NOOOOOOO!! "ooooohhhhhhhhhhhhHHHHHHHH!!" Robinson is up immediately, signalling wildly. Only two. Bohemoth JUST got the shoulder up. Tony holds his head in his hands, teeth gritted in pain as the adrenaline from what he thought was a win washes away, leaving just the pain in his back again. COLE I don't know how, but Bohemoth is still in this match! COACH Heart! Guts! Determination! A whole lotta other crap! But most importantly, YOUTH! CABOOSE That and intimidating the pussy referee to make a slow count! Tony pulls himself up and begins to gingerly pull Bohemoth up too. A forearm to the side of the head sends Bohemoth reeling. Tony grabs him before he can get out of arms' reach though, pulling him into another forearm. But Bohemoth fights back, with a jab! And a more measured right hand! It's a slugfest now, as Tony clubs Bohemoth with another forearm, only to get knocked back with a right hand! And as he stumbles back, Tony is measured by Bohemoth for a clothesline...DUCKED! But Bohemoth is quick on his heels and turns...another clothesline, DUCKED! Again they turn and Brannigan instinctively ducks again. But this time, there's no clothesline. Instead, Bohemoth stops, catching Tony and applying a waistlock. BOHEMOTH IT'S..OVER!! COACH I think it's over guys! Summoning some last energy, Bohemoth heaves up Tony's 272 pounds one last time and hauls him over the shoulder. A powerbomb is clearly intended. But Tony manages to slide out of Bohemoth's grip and over his shoulder. Landing back to back with Bohemoth, Tony quickly lands an elbow. Before reaching back and grabbing the head. The crowd know what's coming, rising to their feet. RUDE AWAKENING!! COLE HE GOT HIM AGAIN!! COACH DAMNIT! Bohemoth's head snaps off of Tony's shoulders and he lurches away, as Tony remains seated. His energy is sapped now. So he simply falls back, draping himself wearily across Bohemoth's chest... 1... 2.... 3!!!! And this time, it's over! *DINGDINGDING!* Relieved, Tony rolls away as Robinson calls for the bell, to a perhaps surprising amounts of cheers from the crowd towards the usually hated T-Bod. BUFFER Your winner of this contest... TTOOOOOOONNYYYYYY BBRRRRRRRAAAAAAANNIIIIGGAAAAAAANN!!!!! Another cheer goes up. Right now, Tony could care less though, clutching his back as he gingerly rolls from the ring and to the arena floor. Cheers or boos...he won. And that's all that matters. COLE What a battle, between two of the OAOAST's bigger superstars! It took TWO Rude Awakenings, but in the end, Tony Brannigan made sure this one went to the form book and the former World Heavyweight Champion picked up the pinfall victory! CABOOSE No surprise in the end, Mickey. It's impressive to survive one Rude Awakening. Nobody could survive two. COLE And Tony scores a victory that will no doubt have our esteemed World Champion fuming. The Upstarts, picking up one in the 'L' column. Which has to be nothing but encouraging for Tony's tag team partner Dan Black later tonight, when he takes on Christian Wright for the HI-YAH Heavyweight Title! COACH ...Bah! What's next?

Yes, but you can't work bodyparts, so you have to alternate. What consitutes working a bodypart? Two consecutive backbreakers? Three? Plus you just KNOW someone will bitch that a back suplex is a neck bump not a back bump, or chopping someone in the chest repeatedly (as my match is no doubt going to resort to) is 'working over a bodypart, i.e the chest. On a related note, I volunteer to be the first to rip Bruce's match to shreds for breaking rules. I don't like the rules, but I'll try and write through it. I worked it out and at least 95% of my moveset is off bounds. So if it gets too hard...well, let's just say, my OAOAST match for the week won't have rules that make writing a chore.

Note to TKO...don't worry about a new moveset just yet, as I'm not quite done with promos. Infact, consider the Family Friendly crap, I don't know exactly what you CAN write me to do, so just do whatever. Jay, I hope you have some idea of how to get around these rules and actually write a wrestling match, because I certainly don't.

Sorry it's not much, laptop's on it's arse again. I might have a little more by tonight if I get any actual time on the PC so don't worry about continuing on until Saturday morning, by which time I'll be away until Sunday night.

I tried the Wrestlemania 21 Rematch Challenge earlier, which is on Hard level...and fuck that. After Michaels countered the Angle Slam for the 6th time, I just gave up. Bunch of crap. btw, completing Season Mode on both Raw and Smackdown earns unlimited CAW points (at least, I think it's that). So if your CAWs suck, devote some time to finishing the Season a couple of times and you've no problems anymore.

Yes, he follows in a long line of young upstarts who make their name from attacking legends, such as... Part of what makes people hate him. He looks like a smug frat boy. If they played up on it a little more, no problem. No-one can take seriously? He's looks more athletic than the HHHs and the Batistas, who of course you don't like because he's a roided up nobody. Orton can hardly shrink in height. So the option is to pump him full of steroid so he doesn't look so lanky, right? So does everyone's. It's called scripting. Okay...look around and see what the internet reporters gave it, if you consider them more reliable. Great...but I was talking about Orton versus Chris Benoit. 1) Purely down to the way Orton's booked and 2) Your personal opinion on the RKO. As opposed to...lets say, New Jack?

Spain, eh? Does the SWF actually exist in OAOAST land?

[b][i]TV-14 L,V[/i] * DUN DUN DUN DUNNA, DUN DUN DUNNA *[/b] Across a river, over a bunch of mountains, through fields, sweeping past trees and bushes, hovering over the skyline of New York City, the OAOAST logo flies through the air...before sweeping down, brushing past an elderly man who seems understandably shocked to see six over-sized letters fly past him. The logo continues going, nearing a house...which luckily, a woman is leaving, meaning the logo can sweep through the open door, continuing on down the hallfway and into the living room where a young kid is sat on his computer. It sweeps past him, hitting the computer...which explodes with a flash, lighting up much to the kid shock and delight. [b][COLOR=red]THE OAOAST...WHAT THE WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORLD IS READING~![/b][/COLOR] We get a cold opening to the parking lot, as just in time for the show, a long white stretch is pulling up into the arena. The number plate gives away exactly who's inside. "UP5TART5". First to leave the limo, Scotty Static, taking a deep breath of cold, Nova Scotia evening air with a beaming smile on his face. Johnny Jax is right behind him, patting his partner on the back. Next to leave is Jamie O'Hara, used to the cold, being British and all. Then, of course, there's PIMPHEMOTH~! himself, Bohemoth...and finally, the HI-YAH Heavyweight Champion of the World, Christian Wright. Oh, and don't forget the World Champion. JOSEPH Are we ready guys? A collective murmour of agreement goes up. JOSEPH World Without End, I reckon we did okay. We certainly showed the world something. Tonight, I want improvement. A total clean sweep from you guys. Remember, this World Title paid for you guys riding in style tonight. So you can bet I won't be giving this belt up tonight, no matter how worthy a challenger PRL is. Christian, I'm sure you feel the same as far as your title and Dan Black go. WRIGHT Oh, undoubtedly. Tonight, The Ice Heart shall cease palputating in the middle of that squared circle, for all to bear witness! JOSEPH ...uhm, yeah. Bigman? No problems with Brannigan? BOHEMOTH *removes glasses* Not at all. JOSEPH Haha, good to hear. And now, the final piece of the puzzle. Scotty, Johnny...no mistakes this month. You've got 30 Minutes and just incase, I'm sending Jamie out with you for some added insurance. This time, I want those Tag Team Titles off of Rodez and Malibu! You did good Thursday, I want you to do good for me again tonight. STATIC No problems, brah! Tonight, we're gonna kick it old school...which means, we win, they lose. JAX Old man Malibu ain't gonna make 10 minutes, let alone 30. No sweat Big Poppa, no sweat. Tonight, we be takin' our belts back! SJ nods knowingly, with a broad smile, before pointing the way towards the arena... [b]In Memory Of Eddie Guerrero 1967-2005 R.I.P[/b] (V.O) And now, in association with TheSmartmarks.com, the OAOAST proudly presents...NOVEMBER REIGN!! *LOGO HERE* [SIZE=5]Pyro![/SIZE] L! I! V! E! LIVE! Or, EVIL!, for our dislexic friends. And we are EVIL! in Halifax, Nova Scotia on a late November night, where it is bloody cold. I know the feeling, believe me. But while it's cold outside, it's redhot in the arena because the OAOAST are in town and it's Pay Per View. Which means a monthly paycheck for those relics from the 80s, chryogenically frozen and thawed once per mo...oh, wait. You didn't read that. Honest. No, don't go back and re-read it and check. You didn't read that. It was never there. Ever. You just imagined it. *shifty eyes* Anyway, Tony Schiavone and Jesse Ventura everybody! SCHIAVONE *shivers* Oh boy it's cold. VENTURA They probably didn't thaw you out properly. SCHIAVONE ...WE ARE LIVE! And tonight, we are North of the border in Nova Scotia, where tonight the remnants of the Thanksgiving celebrations carry over to tonight. Of course, Canada celebrated IT'S Thanksgiving before us Americans, but then again, we can't fault them simply for poor timekeeping. Because we've been made very welcome here in the lead up to tonight, isn't that right Jess? VENTURA I wouldn't know Tony. SOME of us have jobs for the other 30 days per month that they're not on OAOAST Television. SCHIAVONE Indeed. Well, whenever it was for you, a belated Thanksgiving from myself and Jesse. Tonight, there will be no good will and thanksgiving though, as The Upstarts continue their war with the OAOAST's veterans. We have the Tag Team Titles on the line in a 30 Minute IronTag Match, the HI-YAH Heavyweight Title on the line and a battle of the bigmen tonight...as well as Stephen Joseph doing battle with his good friend, Puerto Rican Lightning, for the World Title in our main event. VENTURA And that ain't all Tony. Besides The Upstarts and their 'conflict'...we've got The Dream Machines, Exploding Again over the X-Division Title! We've got classic Survivor Series action with the return of The Deadly Alliance to take on S.H.I...and, from the Tag Team Division. Plus, that Torneo Cibernetica dealy involving the Women's Division. Don't ask me to explain it, someone else'll deal with that. SCHIAVONE Plus, a whole lot more here tonight!

Having finally agreed to let his Cucaracha Internacional team-mates re-invent him as a new, improved wrestler, Landon Maddix arrives at the Cleveland training facility that Jay Hawke likes to call home...or, a second home at least...with a great deal of trepidation. Which means worry, for all you non-educateds out there. This is the beginning of a new era for Landon. And obviously, he's nervous. All this talk of Wristlocks and STFs and Stretched Plums is completely new to him. Now, he's got to put it into practice. So, taking a deep breath, Landon takes a last look at the Old Landon before entering the training room. "So, what's this then?" asks Maddix as he walks into the room, to find Hawke and JJ hunched over a TV. "Slacking off already are we?" "Far from it." smiles Hawke in responce. "We're scouting." Confused, Maddix glances at the TV screen...noticing that he is on the screen and his teammates are busy scouring through a stack of videos. Maddix picks up one of the videos, noting the label, "'Best' of Maddix 2004 Jan-Jun" before placing it back on the stack. As he does, Maddix finally notices what Hawke and JJ are actually doing. In Hawke's lap sits a pad of paper, a pen stuck between his teeth as he muses. Beside him, JJ suddenly points at the screen and without a word, Hawke takes the pen and jots something down on the pad. Of which, almost half the page is full. On the TV screen meanwhile, the match just happens to be Toxxic versus Landon Maddix and Landon just happens to have finished off the Straight Edge Sensation to win the World Title. Which in real time brings a grin to Landon's face...until Hawke and JJ switch off the video and turn to him. "That thing I did at the end was great, eh?" "Mmmm..." Hawke replies, without a hint of agreement. "So, you managed to get a few notes then? I just want you two to know, before you go any further, I really appreciate you two doing this for me and I'm willing and ready to learn and change in any way. So give it to me straight...what do you think." Hawke adjusts his notepad and, much to Landon's horror, turns back the page he was writing on to reveal he and JJ have already filled two full pages with notes. Giving his team-mates a nervous laugh, Maddix decides he'd best pull up a chair. This could take a while. **HALF AN HOUR LATER** "...and the way you actually work the neck, WHEN you do, is a little too...'elaborate'." Hawke continues, seemingly in the middle of a rather long lecture. Sat in front, Maddix is just about staying awake, mainly through despair than interest. "You don't control your opponent enough. Rather than use holds to work the neck, you rely on headdrops and DDT variations. You're going the long way around and not very efficiently." "Right." "And, that's about it." "I see." smiles Maddix in relief. "And you got all that from one tape? Very...thorough." "Well, that's just the beginning. We've picked out some flaws..." "Some?" scoffs Maddix. "...now we have to consider what action to take. You're not a lost cause by any means though." "Oh, that's good to hear." Flicking through his notepad, Hawke finds the page he wants, ignoring Maddix's sarcastic quip. "Okay...you have some decent forearms and you can chop. So, JJ will give you a few pointers on how to improve them and work on your kicks, which are a little weak, but could be a valuable asset to someone of your size and agility. The main area we need to work on is clearly your technical ability. Now, JJ can give you a few pointers from his Ultimate Fighter days I'm sure. I can help you with your chain wrestling a little, which needs some work. Infact, quite a bit." "Nobody ever won a match with a headlock." protests Maddix. "I will focus on some more 'punishing' submission holds as well. That way, you can still work the neck, towards the Land Of Nod. I suggest you get rid of that ridiculous move you do off the ropes while you're at it." "The Crash Landon?" "Yes...that." Hawke shudders. "But, I've used that my entire career!" "And it's shoddy at best." Groaning, Maddix throws up his hands conceding defeat. "A lot of your more 'flashy' offence should go too. A high-flying move, used in moderation, can be valuable, but you should really cut down a little. Also, a lot of your 'impact' moves can be canned. Some of them are much too much about showmanship and not enough about damage. That dive you stole from Taka Michinoku, for a start. Too risky, not enough pay-off." "Anything else?" "Yes. You need to get more serious if you want these changes to have a mental effect. For starters, your ring attire. Wrestling in shorts may be acceptable for training but it doesn't give off a good impression in the ring. We'll get you some proper ring gear. And some kickpads, if you're going to be improving your kicks. Don't worry, you can still bootscrape with them. You could do with putting some more muscle on now that I think about it. Nothing over the top, just a little more physique." Maddix glances down at himself, wondering what's wrong with his current body, offended. "And the hair needs to go." And now, Hawke has crossed the line. "..." "Stopping mid-match to fiddle with your hair isn't very intimidating." "..." "And the floppy, girly locks haven't been fashionable for years." "..." Landon still doesn't seem convinced and wipes the hair from his eyes, in a weak attempt to make it seem less floppy. "...so, let me get this straight. You want me to cut my hair, so that I look more intimidating?" "Well, maybe not 'intimidating'. think of it more as..." "Less girly?" JJ finally chimes in. "I think I liked it better when you didn't talk." scowls Maddix, still reeling from the suggestion his precious locks be chopped off. "Jay, are you sure about this?" Hawke nods. "Well, it sure worked for Samson." Maddix sneers sarcastically, before again conceding defeat. "I must be insane...but fine. Consider it gone." *BBZZZZZZTT!* Good job JJ has the hair clippers ready and waiting then, eh? "No time like the present." smiles Hawke, as Maddix clasps his hands over his head fearfully. "I may be insane, but I'm not THAT insane. If anyone's going to start hacking away at my hair, it's going to be a professionally trained hairdresser." "Fine...but you're paying."

Thank you, fog! The ref for the United/Villareal game tonight was a disgrace. Why is it that referees can't tell when players are blatantly diving and play-acting, when however many thousand were at the game could? You would think with everything at stake, the final match vs Benfica will be a more open affair and that will only benefit Man Utd's chances. They haven't had the answers when Lille and Villareal have shut up shop against them but Benfica will need a goal from somewhere if they want to play in any European competition again this season. I sure hope so...if only for entertainment purposes.

What happened to Sheriff Kibagami?

That arguement rarely comes up because it's Michaels. But I agree, partly. Michaels was getting decent reactions from the crowd so it wasn't a cut and dry 'he wasn't over' issue. At the same time, the booking meant he never looked really strong and when he did, it came off badly (see Vader, Summerslam).

Because otherwise, I can't understand what the hell you're saying. Like that last sentence, for example. Edge carrying a match? That'll be the day. What's so bad about his heel persona? And please, try to be impartial when you answer that, rather than come off with the same 'ah, Orton sux0r' arguement you're currently offering up and looking pathetic as a result of. BA-ZING~! Sure showed me. You say he's dog shit and with arguements that deep and meaningful, you MUST be right. Anyone else suddenly miss Fishyswa? At least he put a modicum of effort in. Summerslam was forgettable? Forgettable as in most of the board giving it **** at least? Benoit did most of the work, sure (see, impartiality, try it some time), but it was still an excellent match. Orton/HHH was hardly a 'travesty' and Orton/RVD was hardly 'crap'.

He said it was because of the fans chanting "Goldberg" while he was being taken out on a stretcher after Goldberg beat his ass in their match. Didn't know about that bit. Well still, 1) Goldberg's never been Mr Americana and 2) They stole it from Foley.

Meanwhile, standing backstage, ace reporter Josh Matthews is standing by with fellow ace reporter, albeit part-time, none other than Leon Rodez! But before Matthews gets chance to so much as open his mouth, he's interrupted by his guest. RODEZ HELLO AND WELCOME TO THE LOVE SHACK! I am of course, your ever-present host, Leon Rodez. Don't you wish your girlfriend was a freak like me? Oh yeah. And apparantly, joining me tonight is my special guest, Josh Matthews. Uh...I don't in all honesty know why, but whatever. Who am I to argue? So, Josh, welco... MATTHEWS Uh, Leon? RODEZ Yo. MATTHEWS This isn't The Love Shack. This is supposed to be me interviewing you. RODEZ It is? Oh, I'm sorry, force of habit. I did think that whole spiel seemed a little...out of place. MATTHEWS Yeah. An awkward silence falls over the two, before Rodez finally glances at Matthews and encourages him to continue. MATTHEWS HELLO AND WELCOME TO THE TALK SHOW OF MATH DESTRUCTION! Josh Matthews, your host...everybody, rock your body, everybody, Backstreet's back, ALRIGHT! And joining me on the M.D, as the kids like to call it, is my diggedy dizzog, Leon Rodez. *smiles* How was that? RODEZ That was...uh...yeah, great. MATTHEWS Honestly? RODEZ Oh, yeah. You ripped me off superbly. Not so keen on the name though. Math Destruction? More like Meth Abuse...ion. Anyway, Mass Destruction jokes jumped the proverbial shark at least a year back. Other than that, fantastic. Mic work like that'll have Stephen Joseph Pop'n'Fresh quaking in his boots, don't you worry. After all, you've got more victories over Zack than he has. Proudly, Matthews nods. RODEZ So...uh, questions? MATTHEWS Huh? Oh, yeah, questions. Coz, this is an interview. Yeah. So, tonight Leon Rodez, before we come to tonight, I wanted to get your thoughts quickly on November Reign which is of course on the horizon. Yourself and Zack Malibu will once again defend the OAOAST World Tag Team Championships against The Global Party Exchange. And, just announced by OAOAST General Manager, it will be a special 30 Minute IronTag Match. RODEZ IronTag? Is that anything like Laser Tag? MATTHEWS Uh... RODEZ Are we stuck in a really dark area with a whole bunch of corridors, having to sneak around like something out of James Bond and stealthily smack each other in the face with Irons? MATTHEWS Uh... RODEZ Is Nigel McGuiness going to be the Special Referee? MATTHEWS No, no. It's like an Ironman Match, but it's a tag team match. Obviously. So, the most falls in 30 minutes wins. RODEZ Oh. Well, in that case, that's all cool. Last month, me and Zack dealt with The GPX 2 out of 3 Falls. The GPX snuck the first fall, but luckily we had the chance to come back from that and prove that we're the better team. This month...the rules are basically the same. Only, different. Figure that one out. If The GPX cheat their way to victory in the first fall, then myself and Zack have time to recouperate, recover and pull back the score. Difference is, this month, we can come back even if they steal two falls. Or three falls. Infact, The GPX can cheat as much as they want. Until those 30 minutes are up, the party isn't going to be over. And believe me, Leon Rodez has plenty of experience in going 30 minutes...if you know what I mean. MATTHEWS I'm not sure I do. RODEZ Sex. MATTHEWS Oh. Re-cue awkward silence. RODEZ Uh...next question? MATTHEWS Oh, oh, yeah. Question. Yeah. Uh... RODEZ You know, this probably would have been better if it was The Love Shack. MATTHEWS Oh, I remember now! You're challenging for the X-Division Title tonight, against Peter Knight. And the rules of the match mean that if Peter Knight walks away from the match, he can lose to the title. So, the champion's advantage isn't in PK's corner tonight. Does that give you any added confidence? RODEZ Josh, if I can be serious for a minute...without being sued by anyone who previously used this catchphrase, of course...the X-Division Title holds a very special place in my heart. Infact, if you were to open me up and slice my heart into little segments, one of them would contain a mini X-Division title belt. So, you may be asking why I want Peter Knight's title if I already have one lodged in my inards. Well, for one, people can't see my heart. Duh. But besides that, I don't want a metaphorical belt. I want a real one. Another one. I'm greedy like that. For damn near 6 months, I had the X-Division Title belt strapped around my waist. Or, most of those six months. Obviously I had to remove it sometimes. MATTHEWS Are we talking about sex again. RODEZ No, I meant like showers and stuff. I kept it on during sex. MATTHEWS Oh. Re-re-cue awkward silence. RODEZ ...Peter Knight, you and I have fought over this X-Division Title before. You and I were involved in one of the matches of the year just a few months ago, Ultimate X. And you came out on top. I said it to you then and I'll say it to you now...I am coming for your belt. Only, this time, I'll actually take it. Not because I have an imaginary belt lodged in my heart. Not because I need something to wear during sex. But because that belt means more to me than it ever, EVER, could to you! Because for 6 months of my life, I gave my all for that title. Blood. Sweat. Tears. All types of bodily fluids. So, hopefully you've washed the belt since you got it. I made that title as important as it is today. Me. And Peter, I want to make this really clear. I have no problem with you. At all. I love each and every one of God's creatures equally. Except owls. I mean, seriously, what are they for? Besides keeping people awake at night when they're trying to get down with two gorgeous non-hookers. If I want something that'll eat mice, I'll get myself a cat. Or possibly a python. Now, that'd be a conversation piece. But Peter...I've completely lost my train of thought, so I'll simply say this. You and I are very much alike. What's been going on with you recently...I don't understand it, but it's not my business. All I ask of you is that you give me a fair match. Because Lord knows I won't get one come Sunday. Tonight, I just want a clean, fair, friendly challenge. Man to man. And that we settle it, in the ring, without you running away. Hopefully, hopefully...you'll give me that. Rodez nods to the camera, then to Matthews...then realises he's run out of things to nod at, so quickly makes his leave.

Fine by me. I'm up for wacky. EDIT: 6 months, not 9. Consider it edited.

Who draws 5-6000 houses anymore. Besides me, because this is my promo and stuff so yeah let's talk about that and nothing else so I can mark out for myself and stuff. EDIT: Joe/Kobashi must have drawn a strong crowd, at least for ROH.

As I'm sure many will mention, HBK's run as face-in-peril World Champion didn't draw too well.

Pretty much. People jumped on the bandwagon is spectacular style the moment he landed in the thumbtacks at Backlash. The Evolution turn was met with mark outs from pretty much everyone on the board. But then the anti-Orton stuff started up as soon as his face run bombed and people jumped on that bandwagon. I've got no problems with Orton as a heel. He's hardly a 'terrible' wrestler like the 'haterz' say he is...infact, it's safe to say the people who don't like him over-react far more than those who do. I can't wait for him to win the title, if only for the bitchfest that'll commence here. What a load of fucking shit. This is another problem I have with Orton. His fanbase (or what fanbase he has), becides most of them being female, are full of people who are more accustomed to praising a walking ant rather then an actually talented wrestler. Which Orton has never been. Just because a few people here are somehow entertained by this frawd does not mean he's the future of the company let alone good enough to main event or even hold a belt. So much talent has been held back in favoure of pushing this loser and it has failed. These Orton marks are more blind then Hogan marks. There were just as many people against Orton last year as they were now. Just because this board was devoid of some actually smart posters does not mean Orton was over in any degree. 1. Devoid of smart posters? Far from it. This board had far fewer n00bs with poor grammar back then, that's for sure. Not that grammar makes your arguement any more or less valid, of course. 2. Orton was never over? Incorrect. During his IC Title reign, he was getting pops. As a heel. He must have been doing something right. 3. Fraud. And the reason his push failed is because he's a terrible face worker. 4. I'm half expecting you to start calling him 'Suckbag Orton' and begin to talk about how terrible Test is. The Orton stuff was cute when Anglesault did it. It's all that humongous guy ever posts about...it doesn't work for him either. Why? Because you're so busy looking through tinted glasses that you seemingly can't be impartial in regards to wrestlers you don't like. 5. Orton's had plenty of good matches. I enjoyed his work with Shelton and Edge, although neither program was stellar. The Foley feud was great. Benoit at Summerslam. Taker/Orton at Mania. Taker/Orton II. His work at the end of the '03 Survivor Series match. Orton/HHH at the Rumble, better than it had any right to be. Orton/RVD.

Depends if we get a new one before next season LOL2005!