King Cucaracha

Am I missing a reference here? Because, I really, really don't get it.

That's...actually not a bad thing, seeing as I was seemingly double booking myself. No biggy.

Singles Action Leon Rodez vs. Jamie O'Hara Plus stuff.

Note to Blank- Toxxic HATES Strap Matches.

Three is an accurate number, yes. Hence the rant on my behalf.

Rumble skills (brawling, hardcore, power, strong style and shoot fighting): 75 75 50 60 40 Technical skills (mat work, chain wrestling, submissions): 50 45 50 Flying skills (aerial abilities, flashiness): 90 99 Sportz Entertainment (microphone, charisma, acting, looks, and superstar quality): 90 92 90 99 80 Performance skills (wrestling basics, psychology, safety, consistancy, selling): 86 70 90 92 98 Physical skills (athleticism, toughness, stamina): 90 80 92 Extra shit (intensity, resilience, sitffness, menace, refereeing): 70 92 70 50 75 Backstage skills (business, booking, respect): 85 90 88 Oh...and give me an idea of how over you would be in the U.S. please be honest, lol...minumum of 65 out of 100 for the United States. 88

They need someone who's going to kick the players up the arse and remind them what being an England player means. That's Sven's major problem. His tactics are suspect (not formation, but the way he's got England playing) and his substitutions baffling, but the lack of passion is what bothers me. He just sits on the bench motionless, win lose or draw. If you're Mourinho, it's cute. If not, don't bother. Not Big Sam, like everyone else is saying. Otherwise, we'd have Shilton in goal and Stanley Matthews on the left wing. Pearce might be a good choice in a few years. He's not anywhere near experienced enough, but he knows what being an England player's about. I don't think Allardyce and Pearce would be perfect choices, but they'd at least get England playing with more passion and playing 'the English way'. As far as who they can realistically get...to be honest, I don't know that there's an English manager out there who's ready and proven. I don't know. The only person coming to mind who's proven he can succeed and would be attainable at the end of the season would be Alex Ferguson, but he's Scottish.

Well, I've been here before, so lets just say I'll be pleasantly surprised if either of those two happen.

I thought Wild and Dangerous were going to split when they lost the titles? That's also why I'd already agreed with Toxxic that we'd be doing TKO vs. Cucaracha Internacional at A2A. Considering how much of an abortion their last reign was, it baffles belief that they're being given another chance to wrestle for the belts. Especially considering TKO and CI actually have a storyline going. Oh well. I'll just cross my fingers that Toxx and Card win. And if not...I guess that gives me more time to write my match against Max King at A2A.

I've just had a thought. Sven = Swedish. Swedish = ABBA ABBA = A-Ha A-Ha = Alan Partridge. Suddenly, it all makes sense. Two old, incompetent, inadvertantly amusing people who seem to screw up everything they do monumentally.

Well, he is Spanish. Which is European. Where England is. Thing is, I can never write British. Ask Toxxic.

I've never been one of the "OMG BOYCOTT RAW" types (man, those were the days, huh? Huh? Yeah...) but I've pretty much given up hope on Raw. Homecoming was the final nail in the coffin. Smackdown still holds a little bit of interest, but it's sad when I'm only contemplating watching a show for Ken Kennedy. I still watch if it's on. Scheduling here in the UK isn't as bad as in the US apparantly, ie no clashes with football/soccer, and there's usually enough repeats of shows that eventually one is on when nothing else is. But I no longer go out of my way to catch the WWE. This year is pretty much the first year I've ever missed Summerslam and not given it a second thought. Then again, I'm lucky because over here we get ROH, TNA and NOAH on 'free' TV, amongst other promotions. There's also UFC shown for 'free'. I also own a shitload of tapes and DVDs which are more than enough to pass time when I want to watch wrestling.

HI-YO~! When they split, I fully expect stories of how Matt made her wear a red wig and called her "Ashl-ita". Or, more appropriately, "Version 2.0".

Joe's also busted out a corkscrew plancha in the past, so I'd say he can move pretty well.

I'd pay big money for an NWA/WCW CD, so long as it had The Midnight Express, The Freebirds, Barry Windham and Rick Rude's themes on there.

Anyone who doesn't agree with the anti-Sven campaigns only need read his comments after the game. If he really thinks England were "brilliant" then he's even more clueless than he seems. We were dreadful. For the fourth game running. No, England have never been a world class, flowing football kind of team. But I can't remember us ever being so bad. And it's crazy, because EVERYONE can see it except the manager. Except maybe Michael Owen. Only Brazil are better than England? All that cold Northern air much be affecting the wee lad's brain, way aye. As it stands, England don't stand a chance at the World Cup.

You don't remember the Miss Jackie Bukkake running gag? For shame.

Well, he at least had the white detail on the back towards the end of his WWE run. Those tights kinda look like trainee tights.

I watched a couple of the fights and bearing in mind this was the first time I've actually sat down and watched UFC, it was quite good. Not that I had high expectations, but it was pretty entertaining. Rivera/Hallman was way too tentative. I hate holding in boxing, this was the same except a lot longer and more often. Again, bear in mind I'm a first time watcher, but I didn't get why Rivera didn't go for the kill. Hallman was pretty blown up by the end of the first but Rivera didn't actually do anything. You could clearly tell Hallman wanted to go to the mat at the end and Rivera fell for it and almost paid for it. Can't complain about Lytle/Riggs though. The ground and pound from Riggs was vicious and the forearm/elbow shot he won with was brutal. More entertaining than I was expecting. Thing is, I really don't think I'd ever spend any money to watch it. So long as it's free, then I'll give it a chance and call myself a 'casual' UFC fan, seeing as that's what the moniker is for professional wrestling.

You missed out Kerwin White's theme. For shame.

As we come back to HeldDOWN~!, we're greeted by the sight of an empty chair. But, never fear, we're not getting desperate for things to do because everybody's taking their balls home with them. Obviously pre-recorded, the empty seat is soon filled, as the mysterious Benefactor that's been plauging the Women's Division walks into view and sits herself down. Sat in front of the camera, The Benefactor's mask still shields her identity. Of course, masks don't disguise voices. But when she finally speaks, she sounds...odd. Almost manly. Almost like Ole Anderson with a voice distortion box. BENFACTOR (VOICE DISTORTED) Good evening. COACH Holy shit, it's the Black Scorpion! The Benefactor is the Black Scorpion! COLE No, silly. It's clearly The Shockmaster's voice. BENEFACTOR (VOICE DISTORTED) As you may have seen in recent weeks, Ashley Street has foolishly tried to 'out' me. She made the grave mistake of calling me out. The thing is Ashley, you don't know who you're messing with. Maybe you should have visited your good friend, Jenny Adams, and asked her what happens when you get on my bad side. But, you didn't. And now, you've gotten yourself firmly on my bad side. In recent weeks, I've had you destroyed. I've had you beaten. I even smashed you in the head with a chair myself. And, last week, I enlisted a woman who has proven she can get the job done. The woman who took care of Jenny Adams. Brodie Lewis. The Benefactor laughs, which is dubbed over with the distorted voice, about as accurately as most karate films are dubbed over. BENEFACTOR (VOICE DISTORTED) Rest assured, she has been rewarded for her actions last week. But still, I have a problem with you. You still hold the OAOAST Women's Title. So, I would like to take this time to send a message to all of the women in the OAOAST. Every single one. Whether you agree with me or you don't, I can make you very, very rich. Reaching to the side of her chair, The Benefactor pulls a briefcase up into view. Off come the locks, before The Benefactor turns the case to the camera and opens it up, revealing one hell of a lot of money inside. BENEFACTOR (VOICE DISTORTED)- At World Without End, Ashley Street, your world WILL end. I have spoken at length to our General Manager Calvin Szechstein and he has organised an OAOAST Women's Title Match. It will be Ashley Street defending...against Brodie Lewis. She has already had a taster of my gratitude. Now, OAOAST females, you could be next. Because, that match at World Without End...will be a Lumberjill Match. COLE Lumberjill? BENEFACTOR (VOICE DISTORTED) Every single female in the OAOAST is eligible to come to the ring and act as a Lumberjill for the match. And that is where the money comes in. I don't care if it's Valerie, Constance...even you, Molly Matthews. Whomever is responsible for Ashley Street's demise will reap the rewards. Friend or foe. And I know there are some of you now, thinking 'why should I help, I like Ashley'. Ask yourself, how much is that friendship worth? For, I am offering the contents of this briefcase...that's $50,000 ladies...to ANY female responsible for the downfall of Ashley Street. And of course, should that demise be a particularly 'effective' one, then I may feel even more generous. The Benefactor laughs again. BENEFACTOR (VOICE DISTORTED) Think about Ashley. You messed with me and now, I am going to mess with you. At World Without End, when you stand in that ring staring at Brodie Lewis...you will have every eye of every female in the OAOAST firmly fixed on you. You can't trust anyone anymore Ashley. Because, as soon as you turn your back, there will be a queue of people lining up to stab you in the back! So, good luck at World Without End Ashley. I guarantee, you're going to need it. The feed suddenly cuts, leaving just a static screen until the director cuts back to Sofa Central. COLE My god, this benefactor situation is getting out of control. Poor Ashley Street has got to defend her title against that psychotic Brodie Lewis at World Without End, knowing that all around the ring, there'll be every member of the Women's Division one trip or one attack away from $50,000. And she doesn't know who to trust! She doesn't know who'll take a chance at the money and who won't, not for sure! CABOOSE I'll tell you one thing Cole, this benefactor, whoever she is, is a genius! COLE And rich too! Where's she getting all this money? COACH Rich boyfriend? CABOOSE Just because that's where you get all your money, doesn't mean everyone else is incapable of looking after themselves. COLE And, on that note, let's go to a break.

If possible, it's nice to have a little bit of everything, rather than a PPV full of the same style of matches. Mania X7 had enough variation in it's line-up so as to keep things fresh. The Gimmick Battle Royal, for instance, served a purpose on the show because it was mindless, feel good nostalgia. Where-as the TLC Match serve a purpose by providing plenty of markout moments. It's not about liking one style of wrestling. Different styles help with the flow of the show. Obviously, there needs to be a reason to watch. Some sort of intrigue going in, preferably in the main event to keep you attentive. Ideally, there should be some sort of payoff too. That doesn't neccessarily mean something that makes you watch Raw the next day or order the next PPV (although if done correctly there's nothing wrong with that.) Just, as HTQ said, something that makes the purchase seem worthwhile. Also, it helps if you get something on the show you wouldn't get on free TV. Otherwise, what's the point in watching?

You could on SVR. I've got pretty much dead on CAWs for every slot. You just need to find yourself a CAW making site and search for accurate ones.

What's with the generic tights?

I think it's pretty obvious JR's the favourite to get fired. "You like Austin, you're fired". Also, I fully expect the reasoning behind HHH's turn on Flair to be either completely nonsensical or involve Shawn Michaels. Or both. Probably both.