King Cucaracha

Fuck yes! Seriously, I had no intention on being Hawke's regular partner when we formed the stable...but, fuck yes! If we booked Marcus Ward to job to a chopblock, imagine what we're going to do to Johnny!

Yeah, what the ring announcers say should always be taken with a grain of salt. After all, Big Show has apparantly shrunk from 7'2" to 7'0" in the past couple of years.

Note to whoever's posting...please, please, put this *after the credits*. It's a sort of 'show add-on' and in kayfabe, it's meant to be a couple of hours, at least, after the show. So, *after the credits*. Thanks. [COLOR=blue]OAOAST Productions, Proudly Presents...[/COLOR] [COLOR=purple][SIZE=6]#~~THE LOVE SHACK~~# The opening logo type thingy fades away, to reveal Leon Rodez sat at a desk, in what seems to be a poorly disguised part of the backstage area. Apparantly, it's supposed to resemble a living room, judging from the hastily made back-drop that hangs behind the desk. Complete with a road sign, reading "Welcome To Grand Rapids". Lounged back in his chair, Rodez is busy perusing the latest edition of "Swimsuit Monthly" when he suddenly realises he's on the air, tossing the magazine uncerimoniously over his head and sitting bolt upright in his chair. RODEZ Alright OAOAST fans, welcome to history in the making...it's Leon Rodez's Love Shack! And as you can see, we are live at the Rodez family home in beautiful, majestic Grand Rapids, Michigan! Wonderful place. So wonderful. (trails off) ...uhm, anyway, welcome to The Shack as it will hopefully become affectionately known by 'the kids'. And man, what a night of action we just had here tonight on HeldDOWN~! And of course, the main event featured...yours truly. Defending... Rodez lifts his OAOAST Tag Title up. RODEZ This beauty. But of course, like most nights in my life, I wasn't alone. I was joined by a man. Which...uh, which isn't usual...infact...uh, I'm usually joined by women. Yeah. Lots of women. But not tonight, for I was joined by a man. A manly man. A man known around the world. A former OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion. My chum. My buddy. My amigo. Mi hombre. My best friend. My tag team partner. And my special guest, here tonight in this inaugral Love Shack...ladies and gentlemen, give it up for ZACK MALIBU!! Fake applause is suddenly cued from off screen, as a rather bemused looking Zack Malibu walks in with Candie by his side. The two look around the 'set' curiously, before Zack sits down on the provided chair...leaving Candie standing. RODEZ Zack, it's a pleasure to have you on, welcome to The Love Shack. MALIBU Uh...thanks. RODEZ Obviously, I want to thank you for taking the time to come up here and be my first ever guest. MALIBU Don't mention it. So, what's the deal anyway? RODEZ Well, they couldn't afford Ventura anymore so they asked me to fill in on the talk show time...*whispers* [i]He's hit the bottle real bad, if rumours are to be believed[/i]... SO! Zack, obviously it was a big night tonight on HeldDOWN~! for you, because not only because we were live from your hometown of Provide...uuhh...Grand Rapids, Michigan! Candie glances at Zack, confused, getting no answer and simply a shrug of the shoulders. RODEZ But also, because you and I defended our OAOAST Tag Team Championships successfully, yet again. And, at the risk of tooting my own proverbially, non innuendo involving horn...we did pretty damn awesome. Hey, Zack, remember when I did the thing. MALIBU Yeah...that was...uh, great. RODEZ And then you were going to do the other thing, but I did the other other thing and you were like WELL, DAYUM~! That was sweet. So, what's next for The Z Squad? Zack sighs. MALIBU I told you...we agreed we weren't going to call ourselves that. RODEZ The Am-Am Connection? MALIBU That's terrible. RODEZ How about Dicks Over Chicks. Candie frowns. MALIBU I thought we agreed on The Usual Suspects. RODEZ That was before I watched the film. I mean, seriously, I thought CSI was a horrible name for a team. But we're naming ourselves after a Stephen Baldwin movie. Now, if it were Billy Baldwin, we'd be talking. MALIBU We agreed. End of. Rodez folds his arms and for a moment, there's an awkward silence...before Rodez reaches over and grabs a bowl from his desk. RODEZ Candy? CANDIE Yes? RODEZ HA, GOTCHA!! A loud sigh escapes Zack. After all, even he doesn't tell jokes that bad. Except when posting on The Pit. BURN! Rodez continues to offer the sweets though, until Zack finally takes one. RODEZ So, do you enjoy eating candy? Zack spits out the sweet in his mouth and starts choking, while Candie looks at Rodez with daggers in her eyes. RODEZ Moving on swiftly, it seems us 'makeshift' Tag Team Champions are doing pretty well for ourselves. Now, be honest, what do you really think of teaming with me? MALIBU Honestly? RODEZ *nods* MALIBU Well...uh, it's taken a little bit of getting used to. You are a little...unorthodox, at times. But you're athletic. Charismatic. And thankfully, you're not stupid enough to be lured in by the Global Ungrateful Exchange. Zack waits for some laughter from Rodez, but he's keeping a straight face. Like, dead straight. MALIBU ...nothing? RODEZ I have a 'canned laughter' button here, but even that's not going to save you. MALIBU Right. Well, in all seriousness, it's good to see that not all the youngsters in the OAOAST are power mad and psychologically imbalanced. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't glad there someone for me to maybe pass the torch to, some day. Who knows, maybe some day when I'm laid up in the retirement home, you can take over the mantle of 'The Franchise'. *laughs* RODEZ Would I have to start a bitching war with Ric Flair? MALIBU No. RODEZ Would I have to talk about 'Franchisin' people's asses'? MALIBU No... RODEZ Would I have to do the laugh? Because I can. BWAHAHAHAAAAA!! MALIBU ...uh, no. Rodez smiles RODEZ Cool. Well, this has been real great, but we're running out of time here and I've got a couple of Providence hotties waiting in the locker room for me. MALIBU I thought we were supposed to be in Grand Rapids. *nods towards the sign* RODEZ ...they're tourists. MALIBU Riiiight. RODEZ So, this was the Love Shack, I was Leon Rodez. Zack, thanks for coming down to join us. Candie...will you make sweet love to me? CANDIE Ew, no! RODEZ ...damn... Suddenly, we cut away to...Leon Rodez, for some inexplicable reason seeing as the camera was on him already, although now he's alone so it's obviously a pre-recorded bit. RODEZ Don't forget to watch OAOAST HeldDOWN~!, next week, where we will be in historic [Lance Storm voice]Calgary, Alberta Canada.[/Lance Storm] Expect more matches, more super showdowns, more TALKING~! and more from The Shack, next week. It will be The Parka challenging Bohemoth for the HI-YAH Heavyweight Championship. Plus Stephen Joseph wants answers, all your favourite superstars will be in the house and will Bret Hart be there? WHO KNOWS! That's HeldDOWN~!, 7 central and...whatever eastern is compared to central. I don't know, they just pay me to do the hard shill. That's not just the coolest, that's not just the best, that's OAOAST HeldDOWN~! from [Lance Storm voice]Calgary, Alberta Canada.[/Lance Storm] See you all, next week, natch!

*eats carrot*

*looks down at wrist stumps* Curse you, You win this round...but, unfortunately for you, I can still do THIS! *dances the Charleston*

Cut backstage, to The Parka. Standing in one of the more secluded hallways in the arena, Parka is making presumably a private phone-call, which is pretty hard to do in a wrestling arena, what with the cameras and people and stuff. What he's saying we can't quite hear, because the camera is a little way away. Far enough away to see two shadows loom over into shot. WRIGHT Well well, if it isn't 'The Parka'. Parka turns his head and, seeing Christian Wright and Bohemoth, quickly tell the person on the other end of the line that "I'll call you back", before hanging up. WRIGHT Finally emerged from your hiding place have we, Parka? PARKA Excuse me? WRIGHT What were you doing on September 25th? Better yet, what was I doing on September 25th? Sitting, twiddling my thumbs in Boston, Massachusets, that's what! I didn't much appreciate you running out on our scheduled encounter Parka. I showed up at Dirty Deeds and waited around the arena for TWO HOURS before finally, someone had the courtesy to inform me you'd cancelled your appearance and were instead 'visiting family'. PARKA That's right... Scoffing, Wright turns to Bohemoth. WRIGHT Hark, he doesn't even deny it! PARKA Of course I don't deny it. I was with my family. In Houston. Believe me, I'm as sorry as you about not getting to take up your little challenge at Dirty Deeds. WRIGHT So sorry that you took a family vacation regardless? PARKA I'd hardly call preparing for a Category 4 Hurricane and sitting on the side of the road for countless hours with no petrol a 'vacation'. Besides, my family are more important than anything. If I'm worried about them, I'm going to concern myself with them, not some jumped up upstart. Scoffing again, Wright laughs. WRIGHT Worried? About what, may I ask...that a branch may get blown off in the breeze and hit someone? I've experienced more dangerous winds sitting in front of a box-fan than anyone saw from that...'so called' 'Hurricane'. Your excuses are pitiful Parka...just as you yourself appear to be! Parka is slowly beginning to fume more and more, just about holding his temper in check as Wright and Bohemoth sneer on. PARKA Listen, 'Shakespeare'...if you think I'm afraid of you, you're dead wrong! I've fought people a whole lot bigger, a whole lot badder and a whole lot tougher than you could ever hope to be! So, don't you worry yourself, Christian. You'll still get your match with me. Infact, it's already been rescheduled. For World Without End. And believe me, nothing's going to stop me from beating you this time...nothing. Oh, and while I think of it, I also got myself a shot at the HI-YAH Heavyweight Championship, next week. So, I guess I'll be seeing you both sooner than you thought. Eyes opening wide, Wright turns to Bohemoth and stares at the belt hanging over his shoulder, before staring back at The Parka, speechless. Bohemoth doesn't seem nearly as worried as Wright though and nods, as Parka walks off out of shot. Watching on, Wright pats Bohemoth's title defiantly, the bigman staring off in Parka's path as we fade back out.

Yes! I knew the lure of a live manatee would lure Drea in! *pickpockets Drea*

*slaps head* Patty O'Green. I really should have known that. COD = best promos ever.

*coughs* ... *walks off, tripping over manatee on way out*

Just seen your post Zack...what are the plans for next month? If there's nothing planned for us, maybe have GPX/Zackdez 2/3 Falls this month and an Ironman next month?

While we're on the subject of hiatusers... - Is Candy Coloured (yeah, there's a 'u', Yank bitches) Blues coming back? I thought NGA mentioned it somewhere but I might be going nuts. - Whatever happened to the poster, who shamefully the name of escapes me at the moment, who controlled Chicks Over Dicks? I'm thinking Patty something but again, I might just be going nuts. - PFL, last I heard, is going to chip in for the November as show as we're doing a 5 on 5, Women's Division Survivor Series match. Subject to change, natch. - Any word on if Papacita is ever planning to return to writing?

If we're going with the singles matches and stuff, I'm insanely cool with SJ going over Rodez. No arguements from me. So, Dirty Deeds so far... OAOAST World Title, Four Corners Elimination: Hoff vs. Tony Brannigan vs. Dan Black vs. Stephen Joseph OAOAST Tag Titles, Stipulation Match (any ideas Zack?) Zack Malibu/Leon Rodez vs. GPX X Title: PK vs. someone Heartland Title: Alf vs. someone (presumably a CSI guy?) Women's Match Parka vs. CW HI-YAH Tag Titles: Love Doctors vs. Los Diablos de Fuegos (Possible) HI-YAH Title: Bohemoth vs. someone (I'm in talks) (Possible) PRL vs. someone (is he on hiatus?) (Possible) Axel vs. someone in the MMA/UFC kinda thingy. Doesn't look too bad.

If we sort it out so every active writer has at least a seperate match to work on, then we should have enough to put on a decent showing. In others words, try to avoid putting four active writers on one tag match like DD. And, if possible, try to have active writers do something with characters of non-active writers, like Alf is doing with CSI. What I have planned: The Parka vs. Christian Wright (Parka, maybe KC helps) Women's Division Match (KC) Tag Title Match (Zack, maybe KC helps)- Not sure who if anyone you have planned Zack, but it'd make sense if we used two characters not being written for. So maybe have CWM and Some Guy or The GPX vs. Zack and Rodez, with some sort of stip natch. Somebody needs to go over Hoff, unless he makes a miraculous return. Tony I assume will be doing something tag divisioney. SJ will have something. Maybe with Eski, although it'd be more productive if we get two matches from two guys than one from two. Alf will have something. PK defending the X-Title? PRL? NGA with an Axel shoot-fight? Didn't NGA say something about CCB coming back soon? Then, maybe someone pulling double duty (or like me, triple duty)...

First time downloading, mainly because things like this usually take ridiculous amounts of time on my crappy computer, and I have to say it was very good. The back and forth format worked well and it'd be good to see you use that more often, be it with HTQ or whoever.

I'd prefer Raven to Jarrett as champion and I think 95% of people would...but, seeing as it's not going to happen any time soon, I'm still hoping Raven's going to pitch that Heat angle he had lined up with Hurricane and use it in TNA. At least give him something to do while he's waiting around for the main event to open again. Replace Hurricane with Shark Boy and find someone to take Tommy's role.

I'm surprised they didn't make more of a big deal about his military background to try and get him over. Because, there's the hook the guy needs. He's got a legitimate edge to him, he's got the amateur background, he actually looks like he could hurt someone, he looks more impressive physically than guys they try to get over as physical gods (Masters, Chris; Jindrak, Mark). The only problem I can see is Vince seeing $ signs too early and trying to turn him into Lesnar in 3 months, instead of letting him naturally get there.

I'm up to 162 and my head hurts. Is it any wonder WCW went out of business? "David (Flair) did an interview. It was weird because he was bragging about his long-legged blonde girlfriend and having a Corvette to show he hasn't done badly for himself (his real-life fiancé is Stacy Keibler), which was strange since Daffney was right there as a medium-legged brunette who is supposed to be his girlfriend, but not only that, earlier in this very same show he asked her to marry him." - The Wrestling Observer Newsletter: May 22, 2000 EDIT: Quote #236 "Fans were taunting Bret Hart about his (groin) injury. (Hart) said that none of them even had groins" - The Wrestling Observer Newsletter: December 7, 1998 Awesome.

Man, I almost forgot about that. It takes a special kind of stupid to use up TV time convincing people not to buy something from your company.

Styles is good, but TNA and the Styles fanatics all tout him as "the best", when they've obviously been overlooking his lack of long-term selling and his tendency to try to get all of his spots in a match, which keeps him from being as good as Christopher Daniels, Samoa Joe, Bryan Danielson, etc. Ironically, HBK and Angle have the same flaws. But at least the anti-HBK/Angle people don't go crazy and start calling them "awful" or what have you. I guess it's natural to get into the mindset that overrated wrestlers are awful, even though they're actually good. It happens with certain matches too. Some people can stay objective, but a lot of people can't. Seriously? That's all anti-Michaels people do, besides talking about 'teh politikz~!'

Someone should let him know Hoff's AWOL at least.

"Charismatic Enigma"? Isn't that an oxymoron? If they give AJ and Strong a good ten minutes, they can have a great TV match. No point in giving any more time than that really on a 1 hour show, because Strong vs. Styles could be a good option for a PPV match somewhere down the line. Hardy/Rhino should be passable enough. Shelley/Sabin/Petey interests me a lot. Again, should be a great TV match given 8-10 minutes. Then, you still have plenty of time to showcase the Joes, the Browns, the Abysseses and such.

Rob..Van..Dam?

The debut of a weekly show ending segment, The Love Shack, the OAOAST's newest talk...thingy. Live from Grand Rapids, Michigan! (NOTE: Yeah, I'm going for the whole Good Times, Great Memories vibe) Leon Rodez's first guest...ZACK MALIBU!

What about Pyromaniac/Richard. He sent something to Hoff for one show, maybe somebody should PM him, explain Hoff's MIA and ask if he's still got the segment lying around.

Depends what you're looking for in a wrestling match I guess. Daniels/AJ will have the better 'workrate' factor. HBK/Angle will have the better 'entertainment' factor. The difference is, Daniels and AJ are capable of doing the other better than Angle and HBK right now. They can add more drama than Angle and HBK will workrate. That doesn't automatically mean Angle/HBK will be a bad match like some people make out though. HBK's never been a workrate's favourite and unfortunately, most workrate junkies can't see past that and admit he's great at what he actually does, instead of simply criticising him for what he doesn't do. There's a reason he doesn't work 'ROH style'. There's also reason why that doesn't matter.