King Cucaracha

They. Are. Fake. Computer. Game. Ratings. Please, Fishyswa, before posting again, re-read the above. Rinse and repeat until it sinks in.

So much for me taking a little time off. So, Adam is on semi-hiatus. Drek is AWOL, Hoff is AWOL. Eski? I'm sure I've seen him around once or twice recently. Papacita's still inactive, CC and PFL are inactive, Parka may or may not be inactive now depending on how much his place was actually damaged. We must be missing some others too...we had a whole bunch of stuff going on just a month ago from quite a few people, but 5 match (seriously, WTF) for Dirty Deeds. Probably didn't help that we had three of our few active writers on one tag match (SJ, Tony, PRL) I guess.

Kill a hooker.

If he's already copyrighted Bubba Ray Dudley Inc, why not just call himself that? He can wear a tie and suspenders and criticise everyone for not paying their taxes.

So, does this confirm it's being in a tag team that gives you an ego? OMGLOOKATMAHPENIZITZSOB111111GGG!!!!!

So is the Tag Match an actual #1 Contenders Match then, or is that just card hype?

I understand why they had Strong win Survival Of The Fittest, because it's an accolade to give him a little credibility. But it seems odd that they're wasting Strong/Danielson so soon. By putting Strong in with Danielson so soon, they're not 'damaging' him as such, but they're taking all of his momentum and cutting it off at the knees. The crowd know Strong will lose. As such, what's the huge draw in Danielson/Strong? It's all very well saying 'Oh, it'll be a great match' and 'Oh, it's building to a series of matches'. And? The crowd have no real reason to fully get behind Strong because they're already 95% sure of the outcome. Coming off of SOTF, the crowd will be hotter for him than they have been before. The WORST thing they can do is put him immediately into a match where he stands literally no chance. If they go the 'he loses but he puts in a great effort' route, it won't have the same effect because that's the crowd's minimum expectation, where-as if it were for example Jimmy Jacobs going in cold and going 35 minutes with Danielson, that wouldn't be expecting and would have the shock factor. And why start a series of matches with a predictable 1st match? You just waste the 'wow, Danielson versus Strong, first big meeting~!' interest. Most of the crowd know/assume Strong will eventually win the title. So why buy the predictable match when they could just wait until the ones that they don't know the outcome to? I've no problem with Strong winning. But they should have held the title match off more than a month. Have Strong say he wants the shot in December and then do the match. By then, there's at least an outside chance. Hell, by then they'll probably have had 4 matches by the time New Year rolls around and Strong will have lost all his momentum.

Reading through the results, it's encouraging to see they're going somewhere. They're giving a homegrown guy in Sydal the TPI, they've already got Hero/Joe and Jacobs/Cabana already booked, they're building Hero/Cannon. Hopefully, fingers crossed, it'll give IWA a boost now. I was worried reading about all the cancellations since they announced the original line-up (hell, since they announced the first names really), but it looks like it turned out okay. Not real keen on Steen in the finals though.

Marek Brave def. Trik Davis when he hit a spear and held on and flipped over into a northern lights position for the pin. Kevin Steen def. Brad Bradley in a second round match when he ducked the lariat and hopped up onto Brad's shoulders and executed a crucifix bomb for the pin. Good hard hitting matchup. Mike Quackenbush def. Skayde in a second round match with a crazy rollup but people were standing in front of me so I didn't see it completely. Very good lucha match. Chris Sabin def. Josh Abercrombie in a second round match with the Future Shock. Good action throughout as both men had several near falls. Matt Sydal def. Tyler Black in a second round match. Tyler and Matt were fighting on the floor and Tyler ran at the No Limits music man and used Regal's midsection as trampoline and flipped backwards onto Sydal. Sydal gets the pin with the Standing shooting star press after all kinds of crazy high flying maneuvers including Sydal jumping from the apron and hitting an enziguiri (Sp?) on Tyler who was on the top rope. Arik Cannon def. Delirious in 20+ minutes with the glimmering warlock. Comedy at first. Delirious did the spit assisted escape from the go behind but Cannon just reapplied it and Delirious did it again and Cannon turned it into a bearhug. Delirious then licked Cannon's face to get out of the hold. Delirious got Cannon into the corner and hit him with 49 clotheslines and Cannon reversed him into the corner and then hit 18 chops in a row. Cannon then did the delayed suplex but the crowd didn't count so I don't know if it beat Claudio's 43 second suplex last night. After the match, Delirious had a bloody nose and a huge gash on his hand and Cannon gave him a hug and a handshake and then gave him some ice for his nose. Chris Hero def. American Dragon in the second round. The finish came as Hero did the airplane spin to Dragon but it had no effect. Dragon took down Hero and went for the cattle mutilation but Hero blocked it. Dragon went into a crossface chickenwing but Hero made it to the ropes. Dragon yelled for an airplane spin of his own but Hero countered into a rollup for the pin. A key point in the match came as Hero had worked over Dragon's knee including a figure four with a backbridge to add extra pressure. Hero went to give Dragon an irish whip but Dragon just fell to the ground. Hero, not usually aggressive, immediately applied a spinning toe hold on the injured Dragon. During the Highland losing streak, Hero probably would have checked on Dragon and then went away from the knee. Jimmy Jacobs def. Mickie Knuckles to retain the IWA heavyweight title. Jimmy dominated Mickie for the majority of the match and repeatedly would get up from his pinfall covers and act like Mickie had kicked out. He did a Hogan routine and a Stone Cold routine and pulled her up both times. Mickie finally started fighting back and Jimmy went to get a chair. The ref took it away and while he was removing the chair from the ring, Jimmy tried to hit Mickie with the belt. Mickie ducked and Jimmy ended up hitting the ref with the belt. Bryce came out to contiue reffing. Jimmy again goes for the chair but Bryce grabs it and won't let him use it. Jimmy shoves Bryce with the chair out of the ring. Mickie hits the kick of doom and Ian in a ref shirt runs from the gimmick table to the ring but can only get a two count. Iron Saints come out to attack Ian but Rainman and Tank cut them off. Ian follows them to the back and Jimmy hits Mickie with powder to the face, the belt to the face and a centon and gets the pinfall to retain the title. Ian returns to the ring and tells Jimmy that his title reign will end in Morris as it will be Jimmy Jacobs vs. Colt Cabana in a lumberjack strap match so there will be nowhere to run and nowhere to hide for the champ. Kevin Steen def. Mike Quackenbush in a semifinal match. Steen attacks Quack when Quack was coming to the ring. He injures Quack's arm and works it over the entire match. Steen gets the pinfall with his package piledriver. Matt Sydal def. Chris Sabin in a semifinal match when he counters the Future Shock into a rollup for the pinfall. Sydal jumped from the apron and executed a rana on Sabin who was sitting on the top rope. Great high flying action from Sydal and great power wrestling from Sabin throughout. Arik Cannon finally defeats Chris Hero in a semifinal matchup that was the match of the night. The first five minutes was a respectful display of wrestling and counterwrestling. Cannon then slapped Hero and the fight was on. It was a contest of who could chop who harder. Who could headbutt who harder. Then an awesome display of suplex after suplex on each other. Cannon got the victory with a backslide out of nowhere and you could tell that Hero was pissed but Hero was offering to shake Cannon's hand and everyone thought we might finally get the show of respect between these two after the series of matches in Midlothian. Cannon knocked Hero's hand away and put his hand out so that he was the one to offer the handshake. Hero shook Cannon's hand and they hugged each other. Hero then raised Cannon's arm but then delivered a clothesline and just totally snapped. Mickie and Trik and Bryce finally get Hero off of Cannon and are yelling at him. Hero is apologizing to everyone and asking what he has done and keeps trying to walk over to Cannon and check on him. Hero then throws Bryce through some chairs and drills Trik and Mickie and then tears into Cannon again. The crowd was going crazy and 200 people were standing in front of me so I couldn't see everything. Iron Saints def. Tank/Rainman to retain IWA tag titles. Saints use double teams to control early but then Tank's size takes over. He picks up Sal for a Samoan Drop and then Rainman presses Vito up and throws him on top of Sal and Tank is then holding both Thomasellis across his shoulders. Double Samoan Drop and the crowd loves it. Later in the match Saints take back over and hit Driveby and then go back up top but Tank cuts off Vito and Vito knocks Tank to the floor. Vito then goes to jump onto Tank but Tank catches him and throws him through the chairs. Sal runs and dives at Tank but gets caught and thrown through the chairs. Saints regain control and go for the pendulum on Tank but Rainman breaks it up but Saints then work over Rainman and get the pin. 8 Man Tag Elimination I didn't get to see a lot of. Nate, Puma, Generico and Brandon all wear masks to the ring and get an 8 year old kid into the ring to dance with them to Nate's music. Kid goes dance move for dance move with them and then even breaks out a breakdance after Puma did one. Joey Ryan, Claudio, Alex Shelley all come out dressed as Super Dragon along with Super Dragon. They hailed from Dragon Quest, Dragon Ball Z etc. Lots of curbstomps and crazy action. Super Dragon eliminates El Generico to win the match as the sole survivor on either team. Claudio blocked a tornado DDT and threw Puma up into the air and drilled him with an impressive European Uppercut. Ian announces that Cannon can't compete in the final due to injuries from the attack by Hero. Steen vs. Sydal one on one for the tournament final. Steen is in control and beating up Sydal. Cannon comes out with his shoulder wrapped and gets into the ring. Ian tried to stop him but threw his arms up in disgust and walked away when Cannon jumped into the ring. Steen immediately drills him in the shoulder and then does the package piledriver to eliminate Cannon. He then goes to the gimmick table and takes a Sydal tshirt and comes back to the ring and chokes Matt with one of his own shirts. Sydal hits a twisting flipping dive off the top to the floor and then the match gets real competitive. Steen goes for the package piledriver but Sydal counters with a rana. Steen hits a beautiful 450 but Sydal kicks out. They go to the top rope and exchange punches for control and Sydal gets the advantage and knocks Steen to the ground. Sydal hits the shooting star press for the victory to win TPI 2005. Cannon comes out to shake Sydal's hand. Ian calls Daizee and Delirious into the ring and he puts over all four of them and tells TNA that they need to sign Delirious and Sydal. Cannon asks Ian for a title shot. Ian tells him anytime he is fully healthy he can have one. Ian then tells Cannon that he has something for Hero after what Chris did to Cannon...On Thursday night, October 13th in Morris, Illinois it will be the long awaited rematch...Chris Hero vs. Samoa Joe.

Good to hear. Very good to hear.

With her big title defence just moments away, OAOAST World Women's Champion Ashley Street looks noticeably nervous as she walks through the backstage area and towards the arena. Before she can get to the curtains though, she's stopped in her tracks by everyone's favourite resident tool, Josh Matthews. MATTHEWS Ashley! Ashley, can we get a few words on your title defence tonight before you go out there? Triple Threat Rules, but obviously it's a lot more complicated than that. Are you expecting it to be a true triple threat match, or preparing for a handicap match? ASHLEY Well, it's pretty obvious why this benefactor wanted this match. If you think Valerie and Constance aren't going to team up tonight, you're going to be proven wrong pretty soon. But I'm ready for it. I know it's gonna be 2 on 1. I know the odds are stacked against me. And I'll be damned if this benefactor's gonna get what she wants. Only thing I hope is that Valerie and Constance have already been paid. See, they're gonna need that money to fix their faces after I kick their noses into the fourth row! Ashley storms off, leaving Matthews a little shocked at the intent in Ashley's words. Back to the arena we cut, as "Seether" by Veruca Salt hits as Valerie and Constance strut out onto the stage, smug as can be. The duo stop, raising their arms and soaking up the boos of the crowd, before they make their way down the aisle. Valerie stops midway, checking her hair is in place in the lens of a nearby camera, Constance seeing it and deciding she should do the same. BUFFER The following Triple Threat contest is scheduled for one fall and is for the OAOAST World Women's Championship. Introducing first, challengers one and two. Both hailing from St. Paul, Minnesota...weighing one hundred, fourty nine and one hundred, fourty six pounds respectively... CONSTANCE and VALERIE... THE MINNESOTAAAAAA... AAAAAANNGGGGEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLSSSSSSSS!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Constance and Valerie slide into the ring and climb adjacent turnbuckles, raising their arms high to a totally negative reaction from the fans. The Angels sneer out at the fans, before leaping off the ropes and having a quick team conference. COLE I think that says it all right there. These two females, Valerie and Constance, are regular tag team partners. You can call this a triple threat match all you want, but I think Ashley and everyone else for that matter knows different. Valerie and Constance are used to teaming up. They're not used to competing against each other. And I doubt they want to compete against each other. COACH But they'll have to eventually. So, they take Ashley Street, double-team her for the entire match...they can't BOTH win the title. COLE Maybe they have some sort of plan set out when it comes time to pin Ashley. I just can't see them competing against each other. They're probably being paid extra by this damn 'benefactor' not to attack each other. CABOOSE This benefactor isn't going to pay as much for as win as she would for a maiming though. I wouldn't be surprised if the deal was for Valerie and Constance to put Ashley out of action, injure her and then settle the match amically themselves once she's done with. "ANY WAY YOU WANT IT! THAT'S THE WAY YOU NEED IT! ANY WAY YOU WANT IT!" Suddenly, "Any Way You Want It" by Rise Against hits and the crowd come to their feet for the arrival of the Women's Champion! BUFFER And their opponent...from Evansville, Indiana. Weighing in at one hundred, fifty nine pounds...the OAOAST WORLD WOMEN'S CHAMPION... AAAAASSSHHHLLEEEEEYYYY... SSSSSSTTRRREEEEEEETT!!!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Bursting through the curtains, Ashley doesn't drop a gear at all as she rushes down the aisle at full speed. Unstrapping her title on the way, the run continues right on into the ring, as she slides in and immediately tackles Valerie to the ground! *DINGDINGDING!* The bell is hurriedly rung by the referee, as Ashley starts to throw manic rights and lefts on the mounted Valerie. Valerie tries to cover up as Ashley keeps clubbing away, until Constance pulls her off with two handfuls of hair. Only to get tackled herself and to recieve some wild rights and lefts too! Valerie manages to shake off the cobwebs and help her regular partner out, attacking Ashley from behind and pulling her off of Constance. She then irish whips Ashley away. But she forgets about the Champion all too quickly as she concerns herself with helping Constance up, which she does just in time for Ashley to mow through them both with a double clothesline! Valerie goes flying out of the ring on contact, while Constance flops to the canvas. Ashley grabs Constance by the hair though, hauling her straight back up and backing her into the corner... *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!!" A knifedge chop connects, Constance left gasping for breath... *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!!" ...as Ashley lashes her a second time. *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!!" And a third for good luck. COLE Ashley isn't backing down here! She's taking it to both Angels with no fear and no retreat! Constance moans in pain in the corner, but soon eats a stiff forearm to the face. And a second. Rocked, Constance can do nothing to stop herself being whipped out of the corner and into the opposite turnbuckles by Ashley. But before the Champ can follow up, Valerie sneaks back into the ring and clubs her from behind. Two, three and four sledges slam into Ashley's spine. Ashley shrugs them off though and nails Valerie with a back elbow to the jaw. She then grabs Valerie by the arm, whipping her across the ring and into her own partner in the corner! The Angels crack heads, Valerie staggering backwards as Constance falls seated in the corner. Charging forward, Street hits the ropes at the side and clotheslines down Valerie. She then turns a quick 360, diving at Constance and driving both feet into her jaw with the Face Lift (dropkick face wash)! "OOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" CABOOSE Ugh! Right to the face and poor Constance couldn't do anything to protect herself. COLE That one hundred fifty nine pounds coming down on your face, feet first! With Constance seeing stars and out of contention for the moment, Ashley turns back to her other opponent. Coming back to her feet, Valerie throws a desperation right hand. But she finds nothing but thin air as Ashley ducks, driving a knee into the gut. Grabbing the hair, Ashley then holds Valerie in position, before driving her knee up into Valerie's chest repeatedly, hitting at least six knee strikes before letting her collapse lifelessly to the mat. ASHLEY C'MOOOOOONN!!! Firing up the crowd, Ashley turns to follow up on Valerie. She has to take a detour though, as Constance stumbles over looking to help out her partner in crime. Ashley evades Constance's lunge though, ducking behind and dropping The Minnesota Angel with a quick belly to back suplex. Back up to her feet is Valerie too. But she's still winded from the knee strikes and Ashley is able to skirt behind her, hooking Valerie up much like Constance...but adding a little more snap to the move, folding Valerie up with a Backdrop Suplex!! Valerie uncoils, straight into a lateral press by Ashley... 1... 2... Broken up by Constance! COLE There's the save. Ashley stands no chance of winning this match unless she gets rid of one Angel and leaves herself alone with the other. Ashley is brought up with some help from Constance, who decides fishhooking the mouth of the OAOAST Champion is a good idea. Until that is she starts howling in pain and stamping her feet, trying to alert the referee that Ashley is biting her finger. Before the referee can get a good look, Ashley lets Constance free and snaps off a quick mule kick into the gut to double Constance over. Applying a front facelock, Ashley then sets up Constance for a vertical suplex. Constance is able to shift off to the left, landing behind Ashley and applying a waistlock. Quickly Ashley connects with a back elbow. A second elbow is ducked though, Ashley spinning around into Northern Lights position but soon freeing herself with a knee lift to the face! She then ducks into Constance and uses the Northern Lights Suplex herself... 1... 2... Broken up by Valerie! COLE And again, the save is made by the other Angel...Ashley is holding her own, but she's unable to keep one of the Angels down for long enough to pin the other. Valerie is up quickly and stomps away on Ashley before she can pull herself up. Reaching down, she then starts to pull Ashley up to her feet. Once at her knees, Ashley rocks Valerie with a forearm to the gut. Valerie continues to pull the Champ up. But another forearm connects, allowing Ashley to tumble behind with a sunset flip pin... 1... 2... Valerie shifts her weight, sitting atop Ashley... 1... 2... Ashley counters back into the sunset pin... 1... 2... Suddenly, Constance arrives behind Ashley, taking her over from the sunset pin and cradling her into a crucifix... 1... 2... Ashley kicks out, rolling through to her feet. As she charges, Ashley then ducks a clothesline from Constance, contuining on and PLOUGHING through Valerie as she begins to sit up with a running knee strike!! The crowd gasp, as Ashley turns on her heels and tackles a charging Constance, just muscling her back until the turnbuckles drive their way into the challengers spine! Constance slumps into the turnbuckles, as Ashley backs up and follows in with a clothesline, further knocking the wind from Constance. CABOOSE This is all well and good, but Ashley needs to focus on one Angel. Going up against both of them single handedly is only going to work for so long before The Angels finally re-group and team up. COLE That's the danger for the Champion. The longer this match goes, the more tired she will be because she's having to do all the work, while Valerie and Constance can split work and rest between them. Although, at the moment, it's not working. Ashley drags Valerie up by the hair again. Meeting Constance on the way up too, Ashley takes the two and slams the Minnesota Angels' heads together. Ashley then tosses Constance aside and out of the ring, focusing on Valerie with another stiff forearm strike. Followed by a second. And a third, causing Valerie to stumble around the ring with her equilibrium shot to pieces. While Valerie is off balance, Ashley takes advantage by hitting the ropes. Brushing past Valerie, she then hits the ropes in front and tries to finish things with a fourth, momentum dirven forearm. Valerie ducks at the last second though! Stumbling through, Ashley keeps on running as Constance appears on the apron in front of her. But her forearm is avoided again, Constance ducking down and dropping Ashley throat-first across the top rope! Back snaps Ashley, Valerie lying in wait with a knee to the kidneys. Hooking the head, Valerie then cradles the leg as well and dives back with a Golden Gate Swing (Fisherman's Neckbreaker) that drops Ashley on the back of her neck violently! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" The crowd get on The Angels case as Constance re-enters the ring, telling Valerie to have a break while she applies a Camel Clutch on Ashley. Constance pulls back, making sure to put torque on the neck as she applies the hold. Already, the Champion looks in serious pain, reaching for the ropes in a futile attempt. "ASH - LEY!" "ASH - LEY!" "ASH - LEY!" "ASH - LEY!" COLE These fans are trying to gather behind Ashley Street...and she needs all the support she can get! CABOOSE Come on Mickey. Unless these idiots storm the ring, all they're going to do is make a noise. How's that going to help Ashley Street in a wrestling match? COLE It'll give her something to work for! CABOOSE Besides the belt and the winners money? Pulling back on the hold, Constance leaves Ashley's arms at her side to focus on the neck. Ashley is determined not to give in and pushes to all fours, ready to try and attempt an escape. A sudden crossface catches her across the bridge of the nose though, dropping her back down. Constance re-applies the hold soon after, while Valerie has recovered and is easing herself up to the middle rope. Seeing her partner setting something up, Constance stands up and brings up Ashley, holding her in place while Valerie comes off the ropes. Driving the right hand into Ashley's temple, Valerie falls to her knees after the move, still affected by the forearms. Meanwhile, Constance pushes Ashley, forward into the turnbuckles. She then crouches down and positions herself underneath the Women's Champion, using all her strength to hoist Ashley up into an Electric Chair position! COLE Now that's impressive strength! Ashley is no lightweight, but Constance is holding her up with seeming ease! Seeming ease apart from her legs shaking violently. Constance keeps Ashley hoisted up though, managing to walk slowly and very carefully out from the corner. Stepping behind her partner, Valerie looks up at Ashley and waits until Constance is in position, before giving a shout. A shout which prompts Constance to suddenly fall backwards. And as both women come down, Valerie is in perfect position to catch Constance off of the Electric Chair with a Falling Neckbreaker!! "OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" CABOOSE Fantastic double-team move! COLE I told you, it's a damn handicap match! The Angels climb back up together and exchange a high-five, the match clearly going their way now after a rough opening. But now, with Ashley seemingly ready to be pinned, The Angels don't seem sure what to do next. Valerie looks inquisitively at Constance, who seems to be saying she'll make the pin. Valerie of course wants to make the pin too. So The Angels, unable to decide on who'll get the pin, decide instead to pull Ashley back to her feet and go for something else. "ASH - LEY!" "ASH - LEY!" "ASH - LEY!" "ASH - LEY!" Valerie is back in charge now and pulls Ashley to her feet, stepping behind the World Women's Champion in back suplex position. And, after a brief struggle, she manages to get Ashley up. Instead of dropping back, Valerie turns Ashley towards the corner and sits her on the top turnbuckle, holding her up so she doesn't fall back just yet. With Ashley sat up top, Valerie turns her back to the Champ, holding her in hang(wo)man's neckbreaker position. Desperately Ashley fires off side elbows in an attempt to escape the move, doing so eventually and causing Valerie to stumble away. Grabbing the top rope, Ashley is then able to sit up, sitting herself on the top turnbuckle. But she doesn't reckon on Constance replacing her partner, hooking Ashley's head and dropping her with a sick Hang(wo)man's Neckbreaker from the top!! COACH DAYYUM~! COLE For a moment there, I thought you'd gone Coach. How we miss your input. With Ashley done, Constance drags her away from the ropes...and after checking Valerie is still tending to her throbbing head, Constance hooks a leg and makes the pin... 1... 2... KICKOUT! "YYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Constance fumes at the referee before bringing Ashley up again, backing her in the corner. Groggy but up, Valerie positions herself opposite the corner. And waits, until Constance whips Ashley out of the corner and into an STO! Wasting no time, Valerie makes an immediate cover before Constance can do anything to stop her partner... 1... 2... KICKOUT!! "YYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Ashley kicks out! And Constance doesn't look too disappointed at that to be honest. Together, The Minnesota Angels pull Ashley back to her feet once again and set up for another double team. Constance applies a standing headscissors and motions for Valerie to go to the turnbuckles, which she does. Valerie then climbs to the middle rope, as Constance lifts Ashley for a Piledrive...NO, Ashley blocks. Clinging on desperately to the leg, Ashley tries to hold off the Spike Piledriver attempt. But Valerie comes off the middle rope with a double axehandle to the back, weakening up Ashley again. "ASH - LEY!" "ASH - LEY!" "ASH - LEY!" "ASH - LEY!" The fans are still routing behind the Champion, but she looks in dire straights as Constance picks her up for the Piledriver again...NO, blocked again! Constance clubs away at Ashley to weaken her up again and for the third time, makes the attempt to lift her up. But again Ashley blocks and this time trips up Constance! Panicking on the ropes, Valerie has to re-adjust and leaps towards Ashley...just as Ashley falls back, catapulting Constance... *OOF!* ...and causing The Minnesota Angels to collide in mid-air!! "YYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" All three women are down now, with the referee checking on all three. And with none of the three showing signs of response, he has no choice but to lay a count on. "ONE!" "TWO!" "THREE!" COLE The ref's starting his count and if all three women stay down, Ashley obviously retains on a draw... "FOUR!" COLE ...but if either Constance or Valerie get up, I assume whoever gets up will be the Women's Champion by default! "FIVE!" "SIX!" Constance begins to stir first, pulling herself up on the ropes while Ashley is also showing some signs of movement. Meanwhile, Valerie is still down and still motionless. "SEVEN!" "EIGHT!" "NI...THEY'RE UP!" Both Constance and Ashley reach their feet at the same time and turn to meet each other. Constance strikes first with a right hand. Ashley throws a right hand back. Constance retaliates with a forearm. But so does Ashley. Forearm from Constance. Forearm from Ashley. Forearm from Constance. Forearm by Ashley...forearm again by Ashley. Again, again and again she connects as a sudden rush of adrenaline flows through the champion's blood! "YYEEEEEEEAAAAAHHHHHH!!" Constance is backed up on the ropes and Ashley fires off one last forearm strike, before whipping the challenger off the ropes. Still Valerie is down, leaving no-one to stop Ashley from executing a Powerslam on Constance, straight into a pin Road Warrior style... 1... 2... Kickout! Back to her feet, Ashley is still riding on adrenaline as she catches Constance in a side headlock. Ashley fires a quick right hand into the forehead for good measure, before walking out a couple of steps and dropping to one knee with a modified facebuster! COLE Ashley's firing back now, but she has to get this victory quickly, because Valerie is beginning to stir in the corner. Seeing that clearly, Ashley knows she has no time to waste. And while Constance is stunned on one knee, Ashley rushes into the corner and gets herself a run-up before sprinting at Constance, springing off the knee and firing a toe kick into the face of the challenger!! COLE SHINING I HATE YOUR FACE!! COACH She's gotta make the cover!! And Ashley does so right on cue... 1... 2... TH.. ...VALERIE BREAKS THE COUNT!! "OOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" COLE Damnit that would have been all! This is ridiculous, Ashley can't overcome these odds! Valerie helps Ashley up and backs her into the corner, choking the Women's Champion which earns her a reprimand from the referee. She breaks quickly enough, more concerned with doing damage to the neck. Grabbing Ashley by the neck, Valerie slams the back of her head into the top turnbuckle. And a second time! Ashley is hurting now, as Valerie sets her up again, taking a moment to taunt the crowd...which proves a moment too long, as Ashley suddenly turns the stand around... *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!!" *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!!" *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!!" ...and lashes her with a quick flurry of chops. Valerie shakes and quivers in the corner, but suddenly gets pulled out by Ashley and into a short drop-toe-hold. Face bouncing off the canvas, Valerie remains down as Ashley hurriedly hooks up the leg and grabs on a crossface, applying an STF submission hold on Valerie!! COLE She's got Valerie!! But Constance is recovering and unless she forces a tap-out quickly, Ashley is yet again a sitting duck! CABOOSE Man, are you ever pessimistic! Ashley wrenches back on the head of Valerie, trying with all her might to force the challenger to give it up... ...and Valerie looks in a whole world of pain, reaching out for the ropes and finding nothing. Ashley pulls back again, growling with intensity, crossfacing Ashley as much as possible with the hold... ...to force her hand to hover over the canvas... ...and... ...IT'S BROKEN UP BY CONSTANCE!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Constance quickly applies a cravaté hold on Ashley, pulling her to her feet. She drives in some knees on the way up to keep Ashley weakened, while Valerie rolls out of the ring. Keeping the cravaté on, Constance turns back to the centre of the ring and kicks away repeatedly at the back of Ashley's knee. Eventually, Ashley is forced onto one knee, but she refuses to go without a fight and starts to throw elbows back into the stomach of the Minnesota Angel. Eventually Constance releases the cravaté, instead applying a side headlock. Ashley goes to the gut again though, then bringing Constance into the ropes and shooting her across the ring. On the way back, Constance suddenly drops down, prompting Ashley to run and vault over her. Ashley now comes off the ropes, throwing out a Lariat... ...ducked by Constance, who grabs Ashley's head and snaps her down with a Neckbreaker across her right knee!! "OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Ashley remains seated after the short ride and the bad landing, but is quickly pulled back up by Constance, into a standing headscissors. COLE Package Piledriver! We're going to have a new champion! Underhooking one arm, Constance tries for the other. Ashley fights it but finds her arm hooked anyway. So she suddenly lifts back and backdrops Constance over, bridging on top with a jacknife pin... 1... 2... KICKOUT!! "OOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" COLE NO, ONLY TWO!! CABOOSE Just like the Gauntlet Match...only this time, Constance kicked out!! Both women scramble to their feet, Constance quickly burying a boot to the gut of Ashley and pointing to her temple, letting the world know just how smart she is. Before going after the arms again. One arm gets hooked and the second follows quickly afterwards, the Package Piledriver all set... ...until Ashley backdrops her way out!! "YYYYEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!" Constance pulls herself up, but Ashley is waiting...ducking underneath a clothesline, snaring the arm and snapping Constance over with a super-sudden Exploder Suplex!! Unfolding, Constance lies looking up at the lights as Ashley slumps on top with the makeshift pin... 1... 2... JUST TWO!! "OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" "ASH - LEY!" "ASH - LEY!" "ASH - LEY!" "ASH - LEY!" Still not done, Constance pulls herself up on the ropes again. She doesn't stay there long though, as Ashley charges and leaves her feet with a less than majestic dropkick, that sends Constance crashing out through the ropes and to the floor. But if Ashley was expecting a reprieve, she's in for a shock as from behind, Valerie creeps up and kicks her in the gut. Hooking the arm through the legs, Valerie applies the Pumphandle, preparing to finish Ashley off. But Ashley is able to throw her head up and headbutt Valerie, dazing the Angel and allowing Ashley to carefully lift her leg over the intertwined arms, escaping the pumphandle. With the arms still held, Ashley then ducks behind Valerie. Arms locked in a X across her body, the groggy Valerie tries to struggle free. But she suddenly finds herself going up and over, into a Straightjacket German Suplex, with a bridge... 1... ...no, Ashley can'd hold the bridge...but she can cradle Valerie up tightly... 1... 2... 3!!!!!!!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE SHE GOT IT!! CABOOSE Damn it! Where the hell did that come from!?! COLE Ashley Street with a unique suplex and despite the bad neck, she got herself on top with the pin one way or another...and those three seconds where only one Angel was around were crucial in the end! Ashley rolls off of Valerie and straight on out of the ring, not hanging around for Constance to come back and gather some revenge. The referee retrieves the Women's Title, handing it to Ashley who takes it and wastes no time in leaving, while Constance rolls into the ring and throws herself a mini-hissy fit at her partner's defeat. BUFFER Your winner of the match...and STILL OAOAST World Womens Champion... AAAAASSSHHHHLLLLLEEEEEEYYYYY... SSSSTTRRRREEEEEEEEEEEETT!!!!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Ashley quickly skirts off down the aisle, belt raised high above her head as she goes. The crowd are all applauding Ashley and judging from the smile on her face, she feels completely vindicated now. The benefactor didn't get what she wanted. All that money. Wasted. *CRACK!* COLE Hey...WHAT THE HELL!?! Suddenly, Ashley goes sprawling forwards as a steel chair crashes into the back of her head. The title goes flying and Ashley is motionless, as the camera pans up to show the cuplrit...a masked person, clearly a woman, standing with chair in hand! COLE Who the hell is that!?! CABOOSE How am I supposed to know, she's wearing a freaking mask! Whoever it is, the masked attacker runs for the hills, the damage done, leaving Ashley Street motionless on the rampway as the directors wisely decide to cut away to something else.

I just went and played PES 4 after my last post. I almost forgot the game's insistance on you completely fluffing headers for no reason, fullbacks magically disappearing to centre back every time you're being counter attacked, every computer player's ability to out-run Ryan Giggs and Cristiano Ronaldo when you play as Man United but their unmatchable speed when playing against them, the 'X' tackle causing you to completely run past the opponent, every good tackle you make running out for a throw, inability to change to the player you want, sudden control changes when you actually ARE the player you want, almost every shot you have going straight in the middle of the goal, never winning a header in your own penalty area, never winning a header in your opponent's penalty area and of course missing a penalty and an open goal. And this is on Level 3. As Manchester United against Blackburn. And, now, my L2 and R2 buttons are lying mangled somewhere on my bedroom floor as a result PES 4 has to be the most computer biased game I've ever played. Which is a pity, because it's a good game, when not blatantly and mind numbingly unfair.

You won't even get Parka/CW with Parka away. Women's Triple Threat instead. Where the hell is everyone? Hoff. Drek. Eski. NGA.

Not sure if putting tag stats in a seperate post is going to earn a bitching, but yay to youz anyway! Also, promo from Maddix regarding a certain Max King.

Note to self: Remind Max about time difference between US and UK.

We should write this up as a real awards show, with speeches, if only so I can have Maddix bitch at winning one solo award for what was my best period in the fed to date. Plus, I want to hear Johnny's speech. That is, if there weren't an overabundance of awards. And to think, even with this many awards, there was still no 'Best Buns' award.

Make an appearance at. Not on. At. Kobashi doesn't need the WWE and the WWE doesn't need Kobashi. Him being on Raw would be beneficial to no-one. I'm not 'up' on Kobashi's tour schedule, but it'd be no more than two appearances surely. Not gonna happen.

I give it three months, tops, before 80% of the top guys in the fed turn face. That's the cycle. Too many heels, everyone turns face. Too many faces, everyone turns heel. Rinse, repeat. Gotta respect the cycle people. In other news, boo at Danny going. But I've been around here long enough to know that everyone comes back eventually. At least, everyone who matters.

I hope PES 5 has a better way of making opponents harder to play against than the current, 'every deflection falls to an opposing player, the referee is blind and you can't control the ball properly when passed to you' method that PES 4 seems to use against me all the time. And that's just on 3 star level.

Last year's was a great event...probably the best weekend of wrestling period. ROH included. But they didn't get a whole lot out of it in the long run. Giving AJ the win wasn't bad at the time, because IWA was in a hot period when they could (and did) bring in AJ, Joe, Danielson etc etc in on a pretty regular basis. Now though, they can't. Looking at the list, if they're hoping to put an IWA regular over, the best bets are either Delirious or Abercrombie. Winning this could put Delirious over the top as a 'serious' worker, or it could flop. Abercrombie winning won't go over well at all. Not to say he's not a good wrestler, but he's got BJ Whitmer syndrome...Ian likes him more than the fans seem to. Cannon and Castagnoli are outside bets for homegrowners. Maybe Sydal too, if he counts as an IWA regular. I've got: Styles over Black Claudio over Danielson Skayde over Puma Quack over Shelley Hero over Rainman Cannon over Ryan Sydal over Generico Sabin over Marek Abercrombie over Noble/Gibson Smothers over Bradley Delirious over Brandon Steen over Nate I fully expect Skayde to face either Quack in Round 2. Then, they'll probably go Hero/Steen and Hero/Quack in the semis. Styles/Sydal will probably happen somewhere, finals or not. Delirious seems the best opponent for Tracy if he advances. That way they can stall without it being too blatant.

That's the big problem. Heyman, if he did one thing over anything else in ECW, new how to hide people's big weaknesses. And it worked pretty well. Couldn't wrestle well...have them in garbage brawls. Couldn't talk...no problem, just make sure they worked well in the ring or gave them a gimmick that didn't need impressive mic work. 911 got over by doing one move over and over, not by wrestling 5 minute matches he wouldn't come out favourably from. Spike got over by getting tossed around a lot. It worked and he wasn't wrestling matches like in Cruiser Division when he was champ, which weren't great. Masters, Grenier and the rest might be tolerable if they would put in the right situation. They almost got it right with Tomko, until they split him from Christian. They almost got Carlito right too once they gave him the talk-show segment. I guess The Masterlock Challenge could be considered hiding weaknesses too, but they ended that about 6 months too early and thought putting him with Shawn Michaels would be a quick fix. Trouble is, with half of the guys mentioned above, is it really worth the effort in hiding their weaknesses? Surely they could give them the TV experience Fishyswa swears by AND keep them training part-time in OVW, if they're given limited roles of course.

They should start selling Hawaiian shirts next. Only, unlike the wig, make them the right colour this time.

True. But the majority of WWE demographic chicks hate Edge and wouldn't buy his shirt if it were pink and had a bunch of hearts on it and stuff. That's a downside that's probably been deliberately ignored.

Yeah, good luck to you man. Hopefully everything turns out okay for you and we'll see you back real soon.

OVERNESS IS NOT JUST FOR FACES!!!!! Man, this is a train-wreck. HTQ has the right idea with this Ignore Button treatment.