King Cucaracha

I'll be shocked if they don't pair up Skayde and Quack at some point during the final. Maybe second round, although I wouldn't be surprised to see Quack actually go to the finals. If I had money, I'd be sticking it on Delirious.

Yes, he most definitely is. If you actually want to contend the guy doesn't get reactions, just don't bother, because no one is gonna be responding to something that oblivious. So, in other words, "I don't agree with you so you are wrong". He gets no worthwhile heat, certainly not compared to his position on the card. It's not like I'm the only one who thinks so. Do you find it odd that there's at least four people who've argued against Masters' heat in this thread and you're the only one who thinks he's over. Maybe that should tell you something? I wouldn't. Do tell me what Xpac heat is and how he's getting it. Oh and save the "it's when people boo because they really don't like you" bullshit, because it doesn't fly. "X-Pac sucks". "Bossman sucks". If you think those are POSITIVE and if you even think of comparing them to "Angle sucks", you're obviously a lost cause. Well, even more than currently. Bullshit, bullshit, bullshit. But go ahead and prove me wrong with some audio and video. I'm sure by how convinced you are that you have this handy. Okay...Raw two weeks ago, your starter for 10. Please point out an occassion where the crowd WAS hot for his entrance, like the heat machine you believe him to be. Your talking about reactions for faces, and he was getting booed back when he was throwing Stevie around like a rag doll. Do you watch the show? Yes. I honestly don't remember any more than 5% of the audience booing him against Stevie. If the goal was for him to work as a heel, yes, because people boo him when he comes out. That's usually a good sign. But go ahead, I can't wait for this audio and video to prove me wrong. THEY DON'T!!! There's literally zero reaction to his posedown entrance. NONE! It's kind of hard to get TV experience when not on TV. It's changed to TV experience now? Right, sorry, hard to keep up with you at times. Agreed, and they've all gone through there. And came through too soon. Yeah but no one does that now. Show me an instance of any of those guys hurting ratings, even for a segment. PLEASE. They don't. People just say meh and don't care. They don't get angry, change the channel for the rest of the night and write a letter. If they did, we would already of seen some big changes. So, I'm wrong without proof...but you need no proof whatsoever? Pretty lame, Fishyswa. Sure, on faces. Those sneaky bastards. Uhm...what? Overness is people REACTING to you. Heel or face. Angle is over. Edge is over. The Heart-Throbs are not. Chris Masters is not. Not only faces can be over. If you're going to use technical terms, at least study and figure out what they actually mean, please. HE'S A FUCKING HEEL. Are some of you so fucking tainted by the Attitude Era that you can't even understand the most basic concept in all of wrestling, people are supposed to not like heels. You think if this guy gets a death threat he's done something wrong? If he's not selling enough t-shirts he's done something wrong? Wake the fuck up so I can actually discuss things with you in the real universe. He hasn't won anyone over. Yes, heels are supposed to make people hate them. But they're supposed to do it by being a dick and making people buy tickets to see them get beaten within an inch of their life. See Copeland, Adam. Masters doesn't do that. The most basic concept in all of wrestling is...MAKE MONEY. Masters doesn't do that. Please learn to tell the difference. He's done nothing to make people hate him in the way that matters...financially. Masters getting a death threat? Are you that dillusional that you think people care that much about him? Christ almighty. Christian sells t-shirts, he's a good heel. Flair didn't sell t-shirts and was still a good heel. God, that wasn't even clever..... Pot...kettle...black? So where are the numbers to back that up? I have a feeling I'm gonna be waiting a while for those. Well, unless I spend my time digging up a bunch of numbers you'll only ignore, I'm wrong. And when I do, I'll still be wrong. Where's the proof this magnificent heat magnet DRAWS ratings? Yeah because you sure picked them apart. I wouldn't be suprised to see the ground go over your head... And I'm the one without clever insults?

Without anyone to interview, poor Josh Matthews is doing nothing of any note. Although, argueably, that's nothing new. Walking through the hallways with his hands in his pockets, whistling to himself absent mindedly, Matthews turns a corner and sees two figures in the distance. Valerie and Constance, The Minnesota Angels, are both hunched over a brown paper envelope and peering in at it's contents. And, ever the snooper, Matthews decides this is his chance to do some reporting. MATTHEWS Valerie...Constance! Frantically, The Angels scramble whatever they were holding behind their backs, envelope and all. Matthews looks suspicious, but Constance continues to sheild her possessions, while Valerie glares at the nosey Matthews. MATTHEWS Is this a bad time? VALERIE Yeah, it is actually. MATTHEWS ...oh well. I wanted to talk to you about Dirty Deeds and your co-number one contendership to the Women's Championship, but maybe before we get to that, you'll tell us what you're holding behind your backs. VALERIE Uhm... CONSTANCE ...no! The Angels sneer at Matthews, who's still trying to catch a sneaky peek. VALERIE What we have is none of your business. For all you know, this could be something intimate and personal. MATTHEWS Even better! CONSTANCE Ugh! You want to talk to us about Dirty Deeds? Well, I know what you're going to ask us already. Can we get along? Are we going to start attacking each other? How will we decide who's going to actually win the Women's Title from that redneck hick Ashley Street? Guess what Josh...that's none of your business! Just like our personal property is none of your business. So how about you run along and interview 'little' old Ashley. Ask her what it's like to know somebody's out to see her career ended, permanently! VALERIE Or what it's like to be brought up in a trailer park! The Angels laugh and exchange a high-five, as Matthews rolls his eyes at the cheapshot. Before suddenly realising all eyes are on him. Neither of the two Angels seem in a good mood or indeed in a talkative mood, so Matthews nervously turns on his heels and scuttles off. Valerie and Constance watch on, waiting until Josh is out of sight and the coast is clear (apart from the camera of course...which is invisible. Yeah. Invisible. That'll do.) Once it is, Constance brings the envelope back from behind her...while Valerie brings a large handful of money out from behind hers, beaming from ear to ear. VALERIE I can't believe we're actually getting PAID by this benefactor to beat up trailer trash! Heck, I'd do it for free! CONSTANCE Totally. Pity we don't know who she is. VALERIE And just think...if this is what we're getting now... Valerie takes another handful of cash out of the envelope, which still looks pretty full despite the bills taken out of it. VALERIE ...think of what we're gonna get as a win bonuses!

This is supposed to be before Maddix/Cortez and, hopefully, still will be unless MVS didn't get my PM again. And it kinda needs to be up before Storm because it kinda leads into something that's kinda important. So here it kinda is. ----------------------------------- As the latest festivities in the arena carry on, we head backstage and into the rarely seen confines of the women's locker room. Which is hardly needed, you may think...and you'd probably be right. But, equal opportunities and all that. At least it's useful for Megan Skye though. A perfect place for her to get some much needed space as she prepares to face the public. Genesis being a big night, Megan has clearly gotten herself prepared the way any woman should. That being a fancy hair-do and a new, expensive looking, sparkling navy blue dress. And now, with the finishing touches done to her makeup and her hair all in place, Megan is ready to go. Sighing, Megan glances into the mirror in front of her, taking a good look at the her new dress with a dreamy look in her eye. Little does she know that behind her, someone is doing the exact same. "Mmm...looks good." Suddenly, Megan spins on her heels towards the voice and finds herself face to face with Landon "La Cucaracha" Maddix! In a combination of shock and fear of what her recently unpredictable former managerial client will do to her, Megan freezes as she finds herself backed against her dressing table. The clearly frightened female is breathing heavily now. But she needn't worry about physical violence, as Maddix smiles as he runs his hand up Megan's cheek, brushing Megan's hair from her eye. "Of course...it'd look so much better tonight, on my hotel room floor." "Get out of here you bastar..." Before she can get the rest of her expletitive out, Maddix covers Megan's mouth with his hand. "Now now, that's hardly language for a beautiful lady like yourself to be using is it?" *SLAP!* Maddix reels back from the force of Megan's sudden slap. But much to Megan's surprise, and fear, when his head comes back up, a sick smile adorns his face. "Wow. I'm gonna have to get that looked at." sneers Maddix, rubbing his cheek. "What's the matter with you lately, Megs? You're so tense all the time, snapping, lashing out at me every chance you get. You're so tetchy all the time. Could it be...sexual frustration? After all, we all know you're not getting any from the Straight Edge Stand-In. It's against his beliefs, right? Unless of course it's sex behind your best friend's back, then it's all fine and dandy. But assuming he's really straight-edge and not putting it on, that can't be fun. Living with a straight edge boyfriend? No drink, no sex...no fun? You're wasted with him Megs. I mean, look at you...all dressed up with nowhere to go. What's the plan for tonight? Go catch a movie, quick glass of milk each before you both have an early night in your seperate, straight edge beds? It's so sad, looking at you and thinking how wasted you are. When was the last time you were anywhere near ringside? Since you've left me, I can't remember you ever 'managing' Todd. Not mixing business and pleasure might seem a good idea, but you're one of the best managers the SWF has ever seen and you're standing around looking pretty backstage. Quite the little obedient housewife all of a sudden, aren't we?" "If I were you, I'd get out of here before Todd comes to find me." Landon laughs. "Oh yeah, we wouldn't want to make him suspicious now, would we? You...me...in such a small room together. You know what they say Megs, throw enough shit and something'll stick." "Yeah, well, you're shit alright." "Oooooooh!" mocks Maddix. "Haven't we developed quite the sharp wit? Can I assume you'll be at ringside tonight, to deliver more?" Getting a little more froggy, Megan snarls at Landon, getting right up in HIS face. "I'm gonna be at ringside, yeah. I'll be there, cheering my man on. And I can't WAIT to watch Todd finally tear you limb from limb!" "Heh. You know, for some reason, I'm already feeling bad." sighs Maddix. "I hate to hurt your feelings, especially with you so looking so damn good tonight. If there were any other way, I'd gladly take it. But it seems, the only way to get you to realise you belong with me...is to disappoint you. There'll be nothing for you to cheer for out there. And as for Todd Cortez, tearing me limb from limb...not a chance. See, when I'm finished with Todd, he's going to be more mangled than Max King at the wheel of a rental car." Maddix snickers, as Megan turns away with a look of digust. "That's low, even for you." Still smiling, Maddix leans in towards Megan who again doesn't know what to expect and freezes up in fear...as Maddix leans past her, so he can whisper right in her ear. "If you think that's low, then what I do to your 'boyfriend' tonight...is gonna turn your stomach!" Another look of disgust overcomes Megan as Maddix slowly leans back away, taking one final look at Megan before sighing deeply and walking off. As soon as the door of the dressing room slams behind the departing Maddix, Megan breathes a deep sigh of relief and leans back on the dressing table. Still Megan looks a little breathless and still a little fearful. After all, she's never seen Landon like this. And what that could mean for Todd Cortez...she doesn't even want to think about.

Especially if their main opponents are AMW. Then again, maybe watching the Duds do it will teach AMW all about the mysterious 'hot tag'. I've got no big problem with The Dudleys really. Bubba's a great heel, it's just D-Von that I'm not enamoured with. The only thing really entertaining about him is the 'quiver sell'. Other than that, never been a fan. Bubba and Spike would be a better team...except Bubba's best as a heel and Spike's only worthwhile as a face.

Yeah, it has. No it hasn't, because Masters isn't getting any heat what-so-ever. I'd even argue he's failing to get X-Pac heat most of the time. They're dead for the entrance, dead when he walks to the ring, comatose when he starts taunting them, back to being dead once he gets on the offense. The only time I can remember a half decent reaction to him was when a) The crowd wanted Shelton to escape the Masterlock and b) When Shawn Michaels was carrying his untalented hide these past few weeks. Neither down to his doing. So to say bringing him up early, before he's ready, to give him 'WWE experience' has WORKED? Far from it. Getting 'WWE experience' can be done on house shows, in dark matches or on Heat and Velocity. That way, the minimum amount of people have to put up with no talent stiffs and the minimum amount of people turn off Raw because it's full of OVW guys who aren't ready. Wrong. Heels DO get over. Masters doesn't, because he HASN'T won anyone over and HASN'T manipulated anyone, except manipulated them into associating him with 'pissbreak time'. No, because they suck. And when people on TV suck, people watching TV grab the remote and turn onto another channel. I'm sorry, but that really did go over my head. Using indistinguishable grammar doesn't help your already fragile arguements.

Ooh, for the record, Kennedy has been working the indy circuit for at least a couple of years and was a decent enough worker before going to OVW. Ditto Burchill, who's been working the FWA in England for the past year or so.

"He needs more time in OVW" = "This guy sucks, get him the hell off of my TV before I'm forced to change the channel". Yes, because it's sure worked for The Masterpiece, eh? And it sure didn't take Batista two and a half years to really get over.

Wrestlers actually having distinguishable characters. Say what you will the cartoony era. Or about a garbage man and a taxman working as wrestlers. But at least you knew WHY to like them or why to hate them and they at least stood out from other workers. Now, 90% of the roster are interchangeable. What exactly is the difference between The Con-Man and The Bash-Man? What is Dupree's gimmick now? Guy with funny moustache? What about Shelton? Carlito is Carribean and Masters is supposed to be a Masterpiece because of his muscles, but they act no differently from one another except some muscle flexing and apple spitting. Also, I miss the days when missing Raw was a big deal. The times when Raw was really unpredictable and by missing a show, you really could miss something big on any given week. Now, there's no such unpredictability or intrigue and no reason to turn in every week, no exceptions.

Promo to come from me which for some reason didn't show up. Uhm...yay! Random Comments Time! Who is Wes Davenport? I feel so left out. Congrats to the newbie Akira on getting a World Title shot and doing impressively well for a first time. W&D win...again. Can't find yawning smilie. Boo. That's a grand total of 300 days as Tag Champions and no end in sight. In the words of Ken Kennedy, "You just made me throw up in my mouth a little bit." Kennedy. Card brings the awesomeness in word and Toxxoru brings the awesomeness in...well, also word. But action word rather than talk word. Blank with the living similie, in JJ Johnson the rubber ball. I smell a gimmick change. Infact, that'd be money. JJ should act like a rubber ball in his matches and then get bitched at by WC for ripping off his move, leading to a Pinball Match in which both JJ and WC are in a pinball machine and must collect the most points to win. Money. Anyway, wacky hardcore match to follow. Good stuff from Blank who's found his niche in the Hardcore Division. Bring on the wackiness, says I! Blank vs. Crimson Skull(~!) vs. Masked Man vs. Drea. Bring it on. Awesome match from Jay, as per usual, and the handshake at the end really surprised me. Congrats to Jay and stuffz. Thank Todd (OMGOLDSK00L!) that Zack got something in and prevented a total botchjob of our feud, due to me eating shit. Not literally. Although I wouldn't be surprised if it was the way I still feel. Another great match from Todd, did a fantastic job of fitting it in with the storyline without it being too sports entertainmenty. Pretzler is out for months? BOOO! Bring back teh Pretzel! Hopefully he comes back as an immobile roid-freak, just to be different. Yay to whoever wrote the promo before the World Title Match for remembering I actually held the belt, for an instantly forgettable few days. And big ups to ELM for making it 4 times and for capping off the show perfectly. Another top notch match. All in all, looks very good and will probably look even better when I take a better read. At the very least, we did better than last year. 6 years. Huzzah!

Sometimes, I despair at the British media. Thursday-Saturday: "Wayne Rooney needs to calm himself down and learn to keep his cool." Sunday evening: "Rooney looked like a sulking child against Liverpool, he showed no passion." Maybe that's because he'd had everyone claiming he was a loose cannon for the past 3 days? You're damned if you do and you're damned if you don't. All these journalists who claim they want England to win the World Cup and then criticise everything Rooney, Sven and Beckham do to sell papers aren't doing any good.

The hiptoss, as far as I know, doesn't have a name. It's affectionately known to myself and friends as "The Shit-toss"...a witty name, I'm sure you'll agree, because it does look like utter shit.

Yes. Yes he is. He needs another year or two in OVW, not an IC Title reign like Raw foreboded Lance Hoyt has improved more in the past year than Cena has since he debuted, WWE style or not. Masters has at least shown some sort of improvement, which even though he's green is at least a promising sign. Cena has been treading water for at least the past year in the ring. He might be better in TNA, but he'd be no higher on the food chain than Hoyt or Sonny Saiki.

Well, I didn't show because I've been laid up in bed with food poisioning since Friday evening and I've only just got onto the computer again now. I'm assuming I'm not being waited on to send something, but if I am, don't wait no longer.

MAIN EVENT SWF WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP "Deathwish" Danny Williams (SWF World Heavyweight Champion) v. El Luchadore Magnifico SINGLES MATCH "Hollywood" Spike Jenkins v. "The Superior One" Tom Flesher SINGLES MATCH Landon "La Cucaracha" Maddix v. "Urban Legend" Todd Cortez SWF INTERNATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP "The Dean of Professional Wrestling" Jay Hawke (SWF International Champion) v. Zyon SWF HARDCORE CHAMPIONSHIP HOUSE RULES: WE DESTROYED IT ONCE AND WE CAN DO IT AGAIN MATCH Bruce Blank (SWF Hardcore Champion) v. JJ Johnson SINGLES MATCH TORU v. Marcus "The Mastermind" Ward SWF WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIPS TWO ON TWO MATCH Wild and Dangerous (Wildchild and Johnny Dangerous, SWF World Tag Team Champions) v. The Crimson Skull and Ghost Machine TRIPLE THREAT MATCH FOR #1 CONTENDERSHIP TO THE SWF WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP Akira v. Manson v. Devon Walters

Debuting on Spike with Jarrett on top is bad. Debuting on Spike with Jarrett and AMW as the top heel stable is plain terrible. Bushleague doesn't even begin to describe it. And then as it's a Horseman rip-off, who would they put as the fourth guy? Rhino? Kip James? Nobody who can save the stable, that's for sure. Yeesh!

See, this'd be great if they were signing Lacey, Mickie Knuckles, Rain, Mercedes, Ms Chif, Daizee Haze, Allison Danger...they need at least three or four from that crew to make it work. Jazz and Molly, fine. Nidia is someone gives her some more wrestling training. Gail Kim is passable enough. Jackie Gayda = Charlie Haas arrival, so she's forgiven. Trinity and Traci are meh.

you mean there still able to do the 3D? i know they can't call it that, but they can still do the actual move? wow, Vince sure is fuckin' generous. I don't think you can copyright actual moves. If so, Nova would be rich by now.

Hot/Cold is basically whether one of the two, or both, are on a hot streak or a cold streak of either wins or losses. I'm not sure what constitutes a hot streak or a cold streak though.

MAIN EVENT SWF WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP "Deathwish" Danny Williams (SWF World Heavyweight Champion) v. El Luchadore Magnifico For some reason, Danny is awesome in the chase but seems to lose the belt far too quickly. So, to fit in with that, ELM wins it. Should be an epic either way though. SINGLES MATCH "Hollywood" Spike Jenkins v. "The Superior One" Tom Flesher I wouldn't be surprised if it was a co-write, as Tom's not a regular on the roster. Unless I missed something. SINGLES MATCH Landon "La Cucaracha" Maddix v. "Urban Legend" Todd Cortez NP SWF INTERNATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP "The Dean of Professional Wrestling" Jay Hawke (SWF International Champion) v. Zyon Stable pride says Jay, but I'll go with Zyon to take it anyway. SWF HARDCORE CHAMPIONSHIP HOUSE RULES: WE DESTROYED IT ONCE AND WE CAN DO IT AGAIN MATCH Bruce Blank (SWF Hardcore Champion) v. JJ Johnson STABLE PRIDE~! SINGLES MATCH TORU v. Marcus "The Mastermind" Ward TORU=Toxxic. Toxxic=win. SWF WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIPS TWO ON TWO MATCH Wild and Dangerous (Wildchild and Johnny Dangerous, SWF World Tag Team Champions) v. The Crimson Skull and Ghost Machine TRIPLE THREAT MATCH FOR #1 CONTENDERSHIP TO THE SWF WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP Akira v. Manson v. Devon Walters When Rando can be arsed to write, he's not half bad. Manson is always unpredictable and I have no idea on the newbie.

Also, a little late I know, but I've adjusted my stats *ever* so slightly. Zack, if that's a problem then use the ones you have, because there's not too much difference...just a little more streamlined.

TALE OF THE TAPE Ejiro Fasaki Age: 27 Height: 5'8" Weight: 188lbs Bench: 290lbs Move List: 26 practiced moves, 2 variables. Finisher(s): Ejirocation, Cobra Crossface. Accomplishments: SJL Eropean Champion, SJL World Champion, SWF Tag Team Champion(Longest Reign), SWF United States Champion. Last Five: 4-1 Va'aiga Age: 30 Height: 6'8" Weight: 305lbs Bench: 475lbs Move List: 26 practiced moves, 4 variables. Finisher(s): Maori Drop, Pacific Stretch. Accomplishments: SJL World Champion, SWF Tag Team Champion. Last Five: 2-2-1 POWER ADVANTAGE: Va'aiga LEVERAGE ADVANTAGE: Va'aiga SPEED ADVANTAGE: Ejiro Fasaki EXPERIENCE ADVANTAGE: Va'aiga TECHNICAL ADVANTAGE: Ejiro Fasaki HOT/COLD: Ejiro Fasaki (Hot) OVERALL ADVANTAGE: Va'aiga

I've seen him wrestle plenty of times and a good series of matches with Samoa Joe doesn't make him the messiah of professional wrestling that everyone makes him out to be. Hell, I've 'followed his career' since he started in the IWA. And that was what, four years ago? 2001? Certainly before he debuted in ROH. Certainly before he debuted against Michael Shane and even the ROH crowd took a while to 'get into him', reputation et all. Now, maybe I don't follow ROH closely enough (but I watch plenty of other indies, which do exist despite what ROHbots would have you believe...but that's another matter for another day), as I haven't really seen all the Punk matches everyone is raving about from this year. I have seen the Joe/Punk 60 minute draw though. And, maybe it was over-hyped by people on here, but I wasn't blown away by it. I've never been 'blown away' with anything Punk's done. I like him, I can watch his matches and he's a good wrestler...but there's nothing about him in the ring that says 'wow, he's awesome'. And he needs that X factor (no pun intended) if he's going to stand out in the WWE. WWE Style or not. Hell, if there wasn't a 'WWE Style', he'd still have trouble standing out...gimmick and mic-work aside. Punk as best North American Wrestler of the year? Like I say, I don't follow ROH closely so maybe he is. But to somebody who's never seen indie wrestling, Punk wouldn't stand out without a microphone in his hand. To a newcomer to wrestling, Christopher Daniels is a more 'stand-out' wrestler. Ditto Samoa Joe. Austin Aries. AJ Styles. James Gibson. Homicide. Alex Shelley. Roderick Strong. Colt Cabana. Hell, even Matt Sydal. I'm not saying Punk's *bad*. But there's not that one thing that'll set him apart from the crowd in ring that he's going to need in the WWE, because he can't get by on reputation and a cool series with Samoa Joe alone. It took Punk quite a few, longer matches to get over with a ROH crowd. He's not going to have that luxury. His best hope to get over quick would be his mic work. But again, with a script, how good will he be? And reading back, that sounded really negative, especially from (believe it or not) a Punk fan. EDIT: Also, Rudo is absolutely right. And Punk can do comedy...his series with Delirious this year, although humour was mostly from Delirious, prove that. The problem comes when people on here moan because Punk's "become a comedy wrestler because HHH doesn't like him."

OMGLOLTEHCLIKZ2K5~! "Lord knows, if it's on the internet, it MUST be true." - Shawn Michaels.