King Cucaracha

Banned permanently? OH! (V W)

BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, this contest is a Women's Division, Triple Threat Match which is scheduled for one fall. .:CUE: Gwen Stefani, "Hollaback Girl":. COLE Hey, you think Hoff likes this song? CABOOSE Who cares? COLE omgburn~! (As "Hollaback Girl" continues to play in the background, the first of the three debutants jogs out from the back. Throwing a clenched fist into the air in salute, Kumiko Watanabe continues to jog on down the aisleway. A decent reception greets the seemingly respectful Watanabe. Reaching the ring, Watanabe rolls into the ring and throws another fist in the air to another cheer. Watanabe then removes her leather jacket, dropping it into the arms of a ring attendent beside the apron.) BUFFER Introducing first...from Hiroshima, Japan. She weighs one hundred and fourty six pounds...KUMIKO WATANABE!! COLE A former student of the now defunct GAEA organisation and one of the few female workers to have worked over in our sister promotion HI-YAH, Kumiko obviously brings a lot of Joshi experience with her. COACH Oh man, I love Joshi. COLE Really? COACH Wait...Joshi is the porn with the tentacles, right? COLE *cries* "OLE, OLEOLEOLE, OLE, OLE!" "OLE, OLEOLEOLE, OLE, OLE!" "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLLLEEEEEEEE!!! OLEOLEOLE, OLE, OLE!" (The crowd sing along to "Ole!" by The Bouncing Souls...and let's face it, who can blame them...as the next competitor bursts through the curtains. Pointing a finger to the sky, El Chica Genérico poses for a moment, before jogging down the ramp. Unlike Watanabe, Genérico makes an effort to tag as many hands as possible, with her spangly gold cape wafting behind her. Reaching the ring, Genérico leaps to the apron and up into the ring. A friendly handshake is exchanged between Genérico and Watanabe, before Genérico begins to fly around the ring with his arms stretched out like a plane.) CABOOSE Oh great, another wackjob. (Genérico continues to fly around, waiting for the next big "OOOOOOLLEE!" before pointing a finger to the rafters.) BUFFER From Tijuana, Mexico...weighing one hundred and twenty one pounds...EL CHICA GENÉRICO!! COLE Another popular competitor arriving in the Women's Division tonight. CABOOSE Another kook. Is a low IQ some sort of requirement for getting in the Women's Division? ("Lunatic Calm - Leave You Far Behind [instrumental]" suddenly starts up, to little reaction from the crowd. Until Serena Blackmore strides out through the curtains, causing the crowd to boo wildly. The associate of Christian Wright gets booed as he walks towards the ring with her nose turned up at the fans, trying her best to avoid any out-stretched hands. Jogging up the ring steps, Blackmore dusts off her boots before entering, nose still turned up, this time to her two opponents.) BUFFER And finally, hailing from Philidelphia, Pennsylvania...she weighs one hundred and twenty pounds...SERENA BLACKMORE!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Well, we don't know too much about any of these three competitors really. Least of all Serena Blackmore, who is apparantly some sort of 'follower' of Christian Wright. A fact which hasn't endeared her to this crowd. But the fact is, it's not fan reaction that counts, it's wrestling ability. These three women have had a delayed start in the Women's Division, all making their debuts tonight. So tonight is big. CABOOSE Yeah. The 8 women in the title tournament are already above them in the pecking order, obviously. Plus Lindsay and Ayane. So these three have got some lost time to make up for. COLE And a tough act to follow too. The Women's Division has so far been a roaring success, so these three have to live up to the standards displayed before them. *DINGDINGDING!* The bell sounds and immediately Serena charges, ambushing Genérico as she hands her cape out to the floor. Serena clubs away at the back of Genérico with forearms. Until Watanabe finally comes over, spinning Serena around and hitting a forearm strike. A second. Serena is backed against the ropes as Genérico recovers, uniting with Watanabe with a double irish whip. Rebounding, Serena gets hooked under each arm and flipped into a double hiptoss. Watanabe bends down to pick Serena straight back up, but allows Genérico to dive over top and drag Watanabe down with a sunset flip... 1... 2... Kickout. Watanabe rolls to her feet. Genérico rolls back up too, snaring a headlock on Watanabe. With forearms to the gut, Watanabe loosens the grip and grabs the wrist, twisting behind with a hammerlock. She then chains that into a headlock of her own, squeezing away at the masked head of Genérico. Adding more pressure, Watanabe drops to one knee for leverage. Genérico pulls her up though, going to the gut herself and pushing Watanabe off. Serena stops her attempts to get back up and drops down. Watanabe vaults over and hits the ropes, as Serena scrambles up. But Genérico quickly charges from behind, kneeing Serena in the back and forcing her forward into a running forearm smash from Watanabe! COLE Some nice, inadvertant teamwork from the foreigners. Pulling herself up, Serena staggers forward into a Watanabe forearm again. An open-handed strike to the face sends Serena stumbling backwards, falling through the ropes to the floor. Genérico reacts quickest and grabs Watanabe from behind, looking for a Tijuana roll... 1... ...Watanabe reaches up and grabs Genérico's waist, pulling her back with a Hiroshima roll... 1... 2... Genérico manages to kick Watanabe off. Stumbling forward, Watanabe continues on and hits the ropes. Genérico meanwhile comes to her feet, brushing Watanabe aside with a bi paso and catching her on the way back with a beautiful leg lariat! GENÉRICO OLE~! Finger pointed skywards, Genérico calls for some support and is roundly applauded for her efforts. Watanabe begins to pull herself up though, so Genérico grabs a front facelock and helps her the rest of the way up. Over goes the arm, as Genérico attempts a vertical suplex. The heavier Watanabe is able to block though, blocking again, before twirling out to the side and snatching Genérico down by the arm into a Fujiwara armbar attempt! Genérico frantically tries to escape, pulled to the mat regardless. But she manages to plant her free hand, rolling through and to her feet. Watanabe clings onto the arm at the wrist, bending Genérico's hand up towards her wrist. Looking for an escape, Genérico begins to circle around. And as she circles, Genérico gradually picks up speed, Watanabe circling with her as she holds her free arm out and starts to 'fly' around in circles! CABOOSE What the hell is this!?! COLE I...don't know. Looking utterly bemused, Watanabe holds onto the arm anyway, as the wristlock continues to rotate around. Genérico doesn't seem to be doing much except make Watanabe slightly dizzy. Until she suddenly puts the brakes on mid-rotation. Watanabe's momentum keeps her going, allowing Genérico to latch her free arm under the arm clutching her wrist, taking Watanabe down with a traditional armdrag! COLE Wow! That was a great reversal there! I think Genérico may have confused Kumiko, long enough to force a mistake out of the opponent. Leaping to her feet, El Chica Genérico places her hands on her hips and hits a super-heroic pose. From behind though, Serena reaches from the apron, grabbing Genérico's long blonde hair and YANKING her hard to the canvas! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Serena then enters the ring quickly, bundling Watanabe into the turnbuckles and causing her to land shoulder first on the middle buckle. Momentum takes Watanabe out through the ropes and out to the apron. There she sits, favouring her shoulder. Serena takes a backstep and suddenly charges, baseball sliding into Kumiko! Kumiko lurches forward, off the apron and to the floor. Leaving Serena and Genérico alone in the ring. Holding her arm out, Serena measures Genérico for a clothesline as she gets up. But Genérico ducks underneath, cradling up Serena into a schoolgirl... 1... 2... Kickout! Both women scramble back to their feet. Serena is first to strike with a boot to the gut, followed with a forearm over the shoulder blades. Genérico falls to her knees with back arched. But she's picked up just moments later, sent by the arm into the turnbuckles with an irish whip. Serena follows close behind, not expected Genérico to plant her feet on the bottom rope and hands on the top, vaulting herself up and over. Unable to stop, Serena crashes sternum first into the buckles, staggering out winded. Genérico brushes past Serena and leaps to the middle rope, somersaulting backwards and wiping out Blackmore with a Quebrada Press... 1... 2... Kickout! COLE A close call there. CABOOSE Now's the time to attempt a pin. It's one fall to a finish here, so to get the win, you need to take one opponent out of the picture before even attempting a pinfall. And it looks like Watanabe may be out of the picture for a while yet. As Serena staggers back up, Genérico leaves her feet for a dropkick. Casually it's brushed away though, causing Genérico to land awkardly on her shoulder and remain face-down while Serena drops an elbow. With a low moan, Genérico rolls over onto her arched back. Serena then follows up with a standing legdrop. Keeping the leg hung over Genérico's throat, Blackmore demands a pin from the referee... 1... 2.. Genérico shrugs Blackmore off. COLE Too casual...FAR too casual with that cover. Pulling Genérico back up by the hair, Serena launches into the lady luchadore with a stiff forearm. Genérico almost falls down, but is held up by the hair. Serena reels back and connects with a second forearm strike. Again she holds her opponent up, waffling her with a third forearm before finally letting her slump to a seated position. Serena then takes a couple of steps back, before lashing a running kick into the chest of Genérico! Genérico flops backwards with the breath knocked out of here. Meanwhile, Watanabe is back up on the apron. But Serena charges her again, driving her knee in and knocking Watanabe back down to the arena floor! COLE And that's a smart move. Again, keeping the spare woman out of the picture. Serena goes back over and casually drags Genérico up, lashing her across the chest with a knifedge chop, to a reluctant "WHOOOO!" from the fans. Serena then goes to the gut with a boot, before flicking Genérico overhead with an effortless snap suplex. Genérico's back arches again, but Blackmore forces her down into a lateral press... 1... 2... Kickout! Dragging Genérico back up, Serena clubs her across the chest with another hard chop. Serena then grabs an arm, sending Genérico hurtling across the ring and back-first into the turnbuckles with a thud. Charging in, Serena drives the side of the knee deep into the gut to further wind Genérico...before pulling her out with a snapmare, no waste in motion as she then LASHES Genérico in the upper back with a backchop! COLE A very measured approach here from Blackmore thus far. COACH Whatever the strategy, it's definately working. As Genérico writhes on the mat, Serena takes a glance to check Watanabe is still out of the way. She then drags Genérico to her feet and pushes her into the corner. Away walks Serena, getting a run-up for another side knee in the gut. A shoulder then follows into the gut. Staying low, Serena scoops Genérico over her shoulder and turns out of the corner, snapping Genérico from the ankles with an Austin-style Spinebuster! Serena quickly hooks a leg for a pin attempt... 1... 2... Kickout! COLE Genérico is showing great heart, but it seems like Serena Blackmore is in complete control at the moment. Staying casual and not letting the kickouts affect her, Serena brings Genérico up once more. Grabbing an arm, she whips Genérico into the ropes, intercepting her run on the way back with a driving back elbow! Genérico's eyes open wide from pain and shock, as Serena once again spots Watanabe getting to her feet on the apron. Another charge again sends Watanabe off the apron, tumbling to the floor hard. Serena quickly goes back to Genérico moments later, pulling her to her feet once more. Genérico is looking short of breath now, as Serena lays into her with another heavy-duty knifedge! Winded, Genérico doubles over and quickly gets pulled into a standing headscissors. Serena then hooks Genérico's left arm, then her right, butterflying the arms and arching her over with a Butterfly Suplex! Genérico bounces hard off the mat, only to be forced down into another pin attempt... 1... 2... Kickout again. Looking up, Serena glances at the referee with a snarl. CABOOSE Serena's obviously doing a good job of wearing this Generic chick, but she needs to try and finish her off as quickly as possible. She's almost taking it a little too easily at the moment. Dragging Genérico back up, Serena again looks to butterfly the arms. Up goes the left, but Genérico wisely wraps her right arm around Serena's leg in a defensive tactic. Serena frustratedly kicks the arm off and tries again to underhook it. Out of the corner of her eye though, Blackmore again notices Watanabe getting to her apron. So she drops Genérico, charging at Watanabe...and getting smacked upside the side with a palmstrike!! The shot knocks Serena loopy, causing her to fall throat first over the top rope. Watanabe quickly steps to the side, measuring Serena and NAILING her in the side of the head with a straight roundhouse kick!! COLE Oh, MAN! CABOOSE What a shot! Serena staggers away from the ropes with her eyes crossed, stumbling all over the place. Genérico is up behind her, launching at Serena with a Backbrain Wheelkick that completes the KO job Watanabe had started! Down goes Serena, laid flat out beside the bottom rope of the ring. But if Genérico had hoped for a breather, she's in for disappointment, as Watanabe thrusts her back into the ropes and looks to push her off across the ring. After little more than a step though, Genérico tumbles forward and to her feet. Watanabe is right on Genérico as she turns around though, striding forward with big momentum on a forearm strike. Down goes Genérico, but Watanabe pulls her straight back up. Applying a front facelock, Watanabe throws over the arm, screaming that's she's going for the 'BRAINBUSTAAAH!' Watanabe then goes for the lift. Genérico is able to go deadweight though, tumbling backwards with a small package... 1... 2... Kickout! Both Genérico and Watanabe scramble back up, both charging forwards. Genérico leapfrogs over the top of Watanabe, waiting for her to turn and connecting with a palmstrike. Staying on her feet, Watanabe SCREAMS off the effects...before nailing her own palmstrike! Genérico goes tumbling away, coming to her feet. Just in time for a duck of a clothesline attempt, catching Kumiko turning with a deep armdrag. COLE This chick will armdrag you stupid! As Watanabe comes back up and charges again, Genérico tries to send her off with a bi paso. Watanabe reaches out and grabs an arm on the way past though, pulling Genérico in and lifting her up into a fireman's carry. Frantic to escape, Genérico flails and flops until sliding off of Watanabe's back. She quickly pushes Watanabe off into the ropes, leaping as she rebounds and snaring Watanabe over with a 'rana, cradling the legs as she lands... 1... 2... Broken up by Blackmore! CABOOSE See that's the problem with triple threats. Just when you've got someone beat, you get blindsighted by the other person in the match. Grabbing mask and tights, Serena pitches Genérico up and over the top, out to the floor. Serena then turns around, still looking slightly dazed, as she motions for Watanabe to get back to her feet. Quickly the Japanese star does, more dazed than hurt from rana. Serena wastes little time in going to the gut with a knee, followed in quick succession with a Million $ Kneelift and then a running Harley Race-esque knee to the chest. Kumiko checks her jaw after the knee series, while Serena makes some distance between herself and opponent. Getting to her feet, Watanabe gets to one knee before pausing. Exactly what Serena was hoping as she charges, stepping off of the planted knee and lashing out with an enzigur...NO! Watanabe ducks! Serena whips around and lands in front, Kumiko thrusting out with a palm strike instantly! COLE She was going for the Glimmering Warlock, the Shining Enziguri, but Watanabe had it covered. Holding her face, Serena gets back up with eyes pretty much covered. Watanabe quickly lunges at Serena, wrapping her arms around Serena's waist and taking her over with a Northern Lights Suplex... 1... 2... Kickout! Releasing the bridge, Watanabe holds her hands to her head in despair. COLE Only a two, much to the surprise of Watanabe! CABOOSE Christian's got a good'un here! Slowly climbing to her feet, Watanabe adjusts her elbow pad as she turns around. Not seeing El Chica Genérico launches off the top rope with a crossbody block, until it's too late... 1... 2... Kickout! COLE Genérico almost caught Watanabe by surprise with that crossbody, but it wasn't enough! As Watanabe pushes her off, Genérico rolls back to her feet and looks to grab a front facelock. Watanabe is a step ahead though, again wrapping her arms around the waist in preparation for another Northern Lights Suplex. Raising a knee, Genérico blocks. Watanabe goes to the ribs with forearms though, before re-setting. Suddenly though, Serena is up. Ducking underneath an arm, Serena also grabs Genérico across the waist. But she goes forward, dropping Genérico with an STO...which in turn, causing Watanabe to drop head-first into the canvas!! COLE Oh! Serena got two for the price of one with that move! CABOOSE The STO on Genérico, kinda made her DDT Watanabe at the same time. And rest assured, that wasn't luck. That was all planned out by Serena. With both opponents down, Serena picks Genérico to drag to her feet first. Serena drives a knee up into the sternum. And again. Serena then opens up Genérico for a knifedge chop, sending Genérico stumbling backwards across the ring. Ending up with the ropes holding her up, Genérico wearily throws up a foot. Serena shrugs it off though, smashing Genérico in the jaw with another forearm strike. Then, Serena wraps on a front facelock, lifting Genérico up and dropping her gut first across the top rope! COACH That's gonna do Genérico no favours. Genérico hangs over the rope, as Serena then turns away, catching Watanabe as she gets back to her feet with a front kick. Down goes Watanabe, Serena able to afford a wry smirk as she turns back around. But suddenly, Genérico springs into life, launching herself to the top rope, springboarding off, tumbling through the air and wiping out Blackmore with a Springboard Somersault Seated Senton... 1... 2... KICKOUT! Genérico is left to clutch her head in despair, as the referee confirms it was only a two count. COLE I've no idea where Genérico found the energy to hit that...but she didn't have the energy to hold Blackmore down! Genérico takes a deep intake of air before charging at Watanabe, tumbling at her with a spinning back elbow. That keeps Watanabe down, while Blackmore pulls herself up. Genérico barges Blackmore back into the corner with a shoulder charge. Genérico then grabs an arm, whipping Serena across the ring, corner to corner for another collision with turnbuckles. As Serena nestles in the corner, Genérico charges from the opposite corner, cartwheeling and nailing Serena in the gut with the Kangaroo Kick (cartwheel double mule kick). COLE Kangaroo Kick, right in the pouch! CABOOSE That athleticism right there. Genérico rolls back to her feet, with as mighty an "OLE!" as she can manage at this stage of the match. Suddenly though, Watanabe is back up. And charging. Genérico sees Watanabe coming and tumbles out of the way. But Watanabe keeps running, throwing up a boot and connecting with a BRUTAL Corner Yakuza Kick to Serena!! COLE JESUS! Serena collapses in the corner as Watanabe eases her leg off the top rope. She then turns, going after Genérico again. Genérico gets the bi paso this time to shrug Watanabe off, ducking her head for a backbody drop. Watanabe puts the brakes on though, hooking a front facelock on and lifting up Genérico into suplex position, before dropping her straight on her head!! COACH BRAINBUSTAAAAAAAAHH~! Genérico's body jars, down to a flat-out position, allowing Watanabe to make a pinfall... 1... 2... NO, ONLY TWO!! COLE How did she kick out!?! Unbelievable! Hanging her head, Watanabe mumbles to herself in Japanese as she gets back to her feet. Slowly, she pulls Genérico back up and re-applies a front facelock, ready for another Brainbuster attempt. Generico jabs away weakly at the gut though, until Watanabe finally relents and lets Genérico go. Watanabe then swipes out, but Genérico ducks underneath. Finding herself facing the corner, Genérico fires off a mule kick to the gut before climbing up to the top rope, facing out. Genérico's climb is slow though, allowing Watanabe to recover and crotch Genérico! The lady luchadore is left facing out of the ring, Watanabe now climbs up the ropes, looking for the Spider German Suplex! Getting to the top, Watanabe laces a leg over the top...but gets nailed in the back, with a double axehandle, from Serena Blackmore! Watanabe unhooks her leg. Serena meanwhile ducks her head through, pulling Watanabe off into an Electric Chair position. CABOOSE Surprising strength here from Serena. This Kumiko ain't a lightweight. Backing away from the corner, Serena's legs begin to wobble and buckle a little. Meaning Watanabe is eventually able to slide off the Electric Chair and behind Blackmore. She then grabs a waistlock on Serena, popping her over with a German that sends Serena tumbling through to the centre of the ring! COLE You're right 'Boose, Kumiko's not a lightweight. And it meant Serena couldn't keep her up in that Electric Chair for long enough. Serena eventually comes to a stop, slumping face-first to the canvas. Meanwhile, Watanabe pulls herself up. But as she does, Genérico is back on top, tumbling back with a Moonsault Press... 1... 2... Kickout! Both Genérico and Kumiko come back up, with Kumiko trying to get Genérico up in a fireman's carry again. Genérico manages to slide off the back and behind though. Quickly, Watanabe reaches back and snatches a side headlock. Genérico wraps her arms around and looks for a backdrop suplex. Holding firm, Watanabe jabs down at the back of the neck with elbows to drop Genérico to her knees. With Genérico down, Watanabe hits the ropes in front. Only for Genérico to suddenly spring off her feet, launching into the air and clocking Watanabe over the head with short flying forearm! Watanabe goes crashing to the mat, as Genérico scrambles over and makes another pin attempt... 1... 2... Kickout! Genérico scurries over and grabs Watanabe again, dragging her up. Reeling back, Genérico prepares to strike. But Watanabe suddenly lunges behind with a waistlock, looking for another German. As she goes up, Genérico manages to lock on a wheelbarrow bodyscissors and lean herself forward. She then pushes off her hands, coming back up...before coming right back down, taking over Watanabe with a que se dora (wheelbarrow overarm armdrag)! COLE Beautiful reversal...and another armdrag. As Watanabe gets back up, Genérico keeps the armdraggery going, with a deep Steamboat styler armdrag. Watanabe is reeling, as Genérico runs the ropes...and gets picked off by Serena Blackmore with a stinging clothesline!! COLE What a clothesline that was! CABOOSE She was lying in waiting, Cole. Ever since that German, Serena's been waiting for that one chance to attack and there it was. Genérico gasps for breath on the mat, as Serena turns and looks for a roundhouse kick. Watanabe ducks the kick though. Serena ends up spinning a full 360 around, getting waffled with a forearm strike! A second! Third! Serena is reeling, as Watanabe pulls her in by the arm. But a short arm clothesline is ducked by Serena, switching behind Watanabe and pushing her forwards. Watanabe crashes sternum first into the corner, to be quickly avalanched from the back with a clothesline just for good measure! As she staggers out, Watanabe is caught from behind, sleeper hold applied. Watanabe instantly runs forward though, dropping to one knee and causing Serena to bundle face first into the top turnbuckle, which breaks the sleeper. Now, it's Serena staggering out, as Watanabe goes behind. She then applies a waistlock, ready for a German. Watanabe pauses though, as El Chica Genérico is back up and rushes past. Leaping to the middle rope, she scales to the top, tumbling off with a twist. She launches over her opponents and catches Watanabe's legs, pulling her over with a sunset flip...causing Watanabe to involuntarily complete the German, which she manages to bridge... 1... 2... Kickout... KICKOUT! COLE We nearly had a double pin situation there! Watanabe in the sunset flip and Serena in the Bridging German. And Watanabe was so determined to keep her bridge, she ONLY just kicked out in time. All three women are slower to their feet now, as Genérico charges. Ducking underneath a Watanabe swing, Genérico runs through Blackmore with a running forearm. She then turns around, getting forearmed for her own troubles by Watanabe. Serena staggers up, caught by Watanabe with a drop-toe-hold. Watanabe comes back up and tries to catch a leg and apply an STF on Blackmore. But Genérico is up by now, hitting the ropes in front and diving into Watanabe's body. Genérico rotates herself around into a headscissors, before coming out, with the Satellite Headscissors into a Crossface! Watanabe goes down and gets trapped in the Crossface Hold. But as she falls, she traps Serena's leg, still with the presence of mind to blindly reach out and apply the STF on Blackmore!! COLE And now, we have dueling submission holds!! Watanabe has Blackmore trapped in the STF, but at the same time she is trapped in the Crossface!! CABOOSE It's like some sort of human puzzle! COLE Well, unless Watanabe releases Blackmore, she can't tapout here. But I guess if she's in enough pain to need the tapout, she'll be in too much pain to hold onto an STF anyway. It's just a matter of how soon Serena gives in here. CABOOSE And remember, Watanabe hurt her shoulder earlier in the match! With the complicated connection of bodies in front of him, the referee alternates between asking Serena and Kumiko if they want to give up. Neither does though. The more Genérico pulls back on Watanabe, the more Watanabe is pulling up on Blackmore. But in the same token, as Blackmore begins to inch towards the ropes, she's helping Watanabe towards the ropes. Genérico isn't big or strong enough to hold two bodies in place. And eventually, Serena reaches the ropes, forcing the rope break. Kumiko manages to release her STF hold, instantly reaching out to grab her own rope break to Genérico's despair. The submission holds are released, but they've taken their toll. Genérico is left standing now, over Serena and Kumiko. Genérico quickly dropkicks Serena in the head. Genérico then dropkicks Watanabe in the shoulder. COLE No submission, but Genérico benefitted big there. Instead of one weakened opponent, she gets two! Genérico brings Blackmore up and pushes her in the corner, firing off a back elbow to the jaw. She then drags Serena out, bundling her out of the ring. Or, at least, to the apron. Genérico doesn't notice and quickly drags Watanabe around, dropping a quick legdrop across the throat. Watanabe is laid parallel to the ropes now, as Genérico gets up and faces off to the crowd. Behind her, Serena has crept in the ring. But Genérico hasn't seen it and grabs the top rope, leaping up and over for an Arabian Press...but as she lands on the top rope, Serena suddenly charges, sending Genérico flying out, off the top and CRASHING INTO THE STEEL BARRICADE BELOW!! "OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Oh...oh man, Genérico may be hurt. She may be hurt bad! COACH That wasn't good. Fans nearby lean over the barrier to peer down on the injured Genérico, checking if she's okay. Which she clearly isn't. Meanwhile, as Serena assesses her handywork, she gets caught by surprise with a schoolgirl... 1... 2... KICKOUT! Shrugging off the shock, Serena catches Watanabe with a knee to the gut as she gets up. Serena then applies a front facelock, looking to fall back with a DDT. As she falls though, Watanabe resists the pull and pins Serena harmlessly down, befre rolling through with a jacknife pin... 1... 2... BRIDGE UP! COLE Look at the strength! As she bridges, Serena twists over to apply a standing headscissors on Watanabe. Leaping up, Serena comes back down with a standing neck snap, folding Watanabe's head towards her feet. Away staggers Watanabe, as Serena trips the legs, rolling into her own jacknife pin... 1... 2... BRIDGE UP! COLE And not to be out-done, another bridge up! Watanabe does the same as Serena, bridging up and turning over into a standing headscissors. Watanabe then tries to copy Serena some more, leaping up for the standing neck snap. But Serena is waiting for it and manages to stand up despite the bodyweight on her neck. Watanabe teeters over, looking set to be backdropped...until Serena reaches back and tucks Watanabe's head under her arm. The Asian's body hangs over the shoulder of Serena, the two back to belly, as Serena turns around...and sits out, SPIKING Watanabe on her head with the AirRaid Crash (belly to back brainbuster)!! COLE Holy crap! Right on her head!! CABOOSE It's over! Rolling over, Serena checks Genérico is still incapacitated on the floor, before lounging on top of the motionless Watanabe... 1... 2... 3!!!! *DINGDINGDING!* Some boos go up, as Serena remains lounged on Watanabe, casually raising an arm in the air in victory. BUFFER Your winner of this match...SERENA..BLACKMORE!!! Rolling to her feet, Serena shouts down to some of the fans and raises her arms in victory, before leaving the ring. Still, both Watanabe and Genérico are all but motionless, as Serena swaggers off wearily. COLE An impressive debut for all these three women, again proving that women's wrestling is to be taken seriously in the OAOAST. But, a big win for Serena Blackmore in particular here. COACH Oh, big time. There's obviously some good strength in depth in the division here, but Serena could be much, much more than 'depth'. She could be a challenge for anyone in the division. COLE Just goes to show what an open division it is. Three more great athletes ready to mix it up with those we already have. CABOOSE You know...not just that, but this Serena chick is obviously pretty damn ruthless. She took out Genérico, dropped Watanabe right on her head, attacked Jade Rodez at The Great Angle Bash. If you're looking for possible bounty hunters, then Serena Blackmore's got the means, she's got the agression...and she's got the form too. Hmmm... COLE And with yet another theory to muse over, let's go to a break.

Believe it or not, I actually like RVD. But a lot of the crowd reaction he gets now are nostalgia pops, because I can't remember anything worthwhile he's done in the past 3 years. Also, RVD was NEVER a good promo guy. He was given the right character, which was given the Austin treatment (close enough to his own, real-life 'character' and then cranked up a notch), he played it well and was entertaining. Was. He was never a 'good' promo guy or even an 'underrated' promo guy, because he never needed to cut promo. RVD's character was more or less the equivalent of Batista in Evolution. Look cool, act casual, give a few funny lines and that's it. And RVD has had 8 or 9 years of being high enough on cards to cut promos. I haven't seen any OVW work, so I can't comment on that...but Benjamin's been no worse on the mic than Van Dam, with less time to improve.

Shelton would look so much more natural than RVD, that it could expose RVD and whole aura he has about his athleticism. I'm pretty sure if Shane McMahon could hit a Van Terminator, Shelton could. Shelton hits a better Somersault Plancha than RVD, better vault to the top rope, better spinwheel kick. What exactly does Van Dam do that's so 'awe-inspiring' exactly?

Ever heard him talk. His promo on Velocity was basically an extended version of your tag line. Future is here, Future has arrived, I am the Future, yadda yadda yadda.

BWO? Oh, yippee. If they have to choose between Hollywood Nova and Dean at some point, I really hope they keep the latter. At least that's mildly amusing. If that want a Hulk Hogan impersonator, why not call Alan Funk up. Because lord knows it's worked for him, eh? *thumbs down* At least all Blubber Boy's bitching earned him a big fat (pun intended) paycheck though. I'm sure the guys on the cutlist who worked their asses off week in and week out, did some cardio once in a blue moon and had something going for them are ecstatic for him.

Why thank you. IF that happens, great. The fact Rhino is another JJ lackey is bad booking.

Obviously the powerplay by Michaels was dickish, but I don't see the huge uproar over Bulldog losing a match he dedicated to someone. People have dedicated matches to others before and lost. CM Punk lost a match he dedicated to Chris Candido, Maff had the match for the title with Joe that he dedicated to his dad, Bret dedicated the match he lost to Hakushi to his mom (who was alive, obviously, so maybe that one doesn't count so much).

Hell most probably cheat to win. Being a pickpocket on RAW would be so dumb though. What is his finisher btw? Hangman's Swinging Neckbreaker

Well, tea and crumpets are out, don't wear hats and my teeth aren't that bad. Cricket is a-okay, but I can't straight watch it. If it's playing in the background, it's fine. Then again, I'm hardly a 'British' Brit. If I notice myself pronouncing words...you know, correctly, I've been known to stop myself and correct it to the more American slur that professional wrestling and a good % of British TV has brought me up on. England is pretty much "America Lyte" nowadays, with our rising crime rate and wide range of fast-food outlets.

Crumpets are overrated. It's like a big, round, chewy piece of toast. If we're going for British stereotypes, fish and chips is where it's at.

HOFFZARIAN!! IT'S HOFFZARIAN DAMN IT!!

Ha, I just watched Velocity and Hoff was on there. I vote we refer to him as "Frankie Hoffzarian" at all times until it gets old. Which should be right about now.

See, the thing that bothers me isn't neccessarily Jarrett's involvement in the main event, but the fact that TNA are either wasting or putting off a Raven/Rhino singles match. They dragged the most memorable Hardcore Title match of 2001 out of each other, so you'd expect them to be even more focused for a World Title match. Plus, it'd be Rhino's first big match in months. So you know he'd be determined to enter a great performance. Wasting that latter one on a tag team match seems stupid, unless Rhino isn't in condition to wrestle singles.

The funny thing is, Nova also stole his finisher. I'm pretty sure that's the Golden Gate Swing, or at least a safe version of it. Swinging Fisherman's Neckbreaker.

Agreed. Very cool.

I like the belt design. The "HI-YAH WORLD" part looks a little too 'typed on' though.

They can't be authentic ECW on big-time network TV. If that was possible, ECW probably wouldn't have died in the first place. Or, at least, so quickly. They booked ONS purely on nostalgia too. You can't book a weekly TV show on nostalgia. If that was possible, Heroes Of Wrestling woul...okay, maybe not.

Sign-ups for the Fantasy Premier League thing we had going last year are apparantly up and running again. IIRC, I did pretty well last season...are we doing it again this?

Joe Louis would be fine.

If the new Lockdown commissioner isn't Disney Endorsed Alan Clark, I will hunt you all down with rusty knives. Uhm...anyway, family friendly promo from me.

The Eddie/Rey angle at least makes Eddie look like a complete asshole. If he were just cheating to win week in and week out, nobody would notice the difference. Rey's a sympathetic character, Eddie's manipulating him for fun. It works for now and they've been getting good heel reactions on Eddie the past couple of weeks. The trouble comes when actually they have to reveal the secret, because it can't be anything good.

Taker/Angle/Rock was probably a better 'match'. Angle/Show/Lesnar was very entertaining though. Lesnar takes a SICK chair-shot from Angle, Big Show gets hit with a Lesnar Running Powerbomb which is just insane. Entertaining, hot crowd. But it's not as good of a 'match', in workrate terms.

I wouldn't call it 'heavily booed', but I'm sure The Rockers got booed when they came out at Summerslam 90.

I agree with this. I can throw in that thing Tony wrote for LTP this week and Cal can be introduced next week. And yeah, the Ultimate X match is on, but I've never really seen one (I know the setup and all though), so I'll probably need a little help. Don't worry, I've seen plenty, so I can write a bulk if you want.