King Cucaracha

It's not a hissy fit. (EDIT: Stupid disappearing posts.) As such. If I wasn't booked against them LAST show as well, it might not have seemed such a drag to write something. Besides that, me and Todd have something planned and we're doing absolutely nothing with the belts what-so-ever. BUT, if you want, me and Todd can try and write a match. But considering I've got two OAOAST matches to write by Sunday too, I'll be pretty hard pushed.

If Foley didn't work there do you think Vince would even know what Ring Of Honor WAS?

"Wait a minute...that's not the Wallet Inspector."

And by post above, I meant don't expect anything from me and Todd.

Awesome.

Well, congrats on becoming 4-time Champ, Johnny.

*shifty eyes* Seeing as Toxxic is slowly becoming me, it's only fair I start wearing mascara and saying 'Bloody Hell' a lot. Or, maybe not.

ANOTHER match with Wild and Dangerous!?! I knew I should have sent that booking request in. To be honest, if the Tag Division consists of us and W&D, you might as well just make the belts inactive now and have done with it. Oh well. If me and Zack get run down with OAOAST stuff, we'll try and let you know early.

Yep. Not my fault this time though. I sent on our (Martial Law's) part to Ejiro, so as for what happened with him, I have no idea.

Well, looks like we've finally signed Park Ji-Sung from PSV for £3.9m, barring a failed medical or whatever. Always nice to see a good shirt selle...I mean...good player, of course...sign for the club.

I think Guilty As Charged '99.

May 21st in Vincennes.

Might as well put the Hammond results here too... A Mid-South Wrestling, in association with NWA Midwest, returned to the National Guard Armory in Hammond, IN on Saturday night, 6/18 for "A New Beginning." Here's what went down... 1. MARK WOLF def. CJ OTIS with the Nevermind DDT in the opening contest. 2. DANNY DANIELS def. TRIK DAVIS following the Rubik's Cube. 3. MICKIE KNUCKLES def. RAIN in a no disqualification match after hitting the shining Kawada kick to the face. 4. BRAD BRADLEY def. EDDIE VENOM with a lariat. 5. JOSH ABERCROMBIE def. MATT SYDAL in a two out of three falls bout by a score of two falls to one, to retain the IWA Light Heavyweight Title. Josh scored the first fall with a bridge rollup. Sydal evened the match at one fall a piece following the moonsault belly to belly suplex off the top rope. Josh scored the third and deciding fall after hitting the Phoenix splash. JIM FANNIN came to the ring and announced that the spot on his team for the 7/2 "No Blood, No Guts, No Glory 2005" War Games match originally scheduled for CHRIS CANDIDO will be filled by Chris's younger brother JOHNNY CANDIDO. 6. "The Underwear Model" ERIC PRIEST def. "The Human Rulebook" CHANDLER McCLURE in a teacher versus student contest. Before the match, Priest told McClure that he wasn't happy with his recent attitude change, and he needs to remember what he was taught to do. After the match concluded, Priest continued to put the boots to McClure until TRIK DAVIS made the save. Just as Chandler got back to his feet, he attacked Davis, and was quickly joined by Priest. RYAN BOZ then hit the ring to save Trik, and challenged Priest & McClure to an impromptu tag team match. 7. "The Underwear Model" ERIC PRIEST & "The Human Rulebook" CHANDLER McCLURE def. TRIK DAVIS & RYAN BOZ after a double team version of the Happy Ending. 8. "The Product" MAREK BRAVE def. "Spyder" NATE WEBB with a shooting star press. After the match, Brave's trainer DANNY DANIELS and IAN ROTTEN came to the ring and congratulated him. Ian then invited Brave to participate in the 2005 TPI, and told him he would face ROBBIE BROOKSIDE in the first round. 9. "The Iron Saints" VITO & SAL THOMASELLI def. TYLER BLACK & BRANDON THOMASELLI to retain the IWA World Tag Team Titles following Californication (drive-by off the top rope). 10. "Anarchist" ARIK CANNON def. CHAD COLLYER with the Glimmering Warlock (shining enzugiri). 11. SABU def. IAN ROTTEN in a wild main event brawl with an Arabian facebuster off the top rope through a table. NOTES: The event was filmed by Smart Mark Video for home video release, with commentary by Dave Prazak, Nate Webb, and Mark Wolf... Ian Rotten announced that Chris Hero, Robbie Brookside, Jonny Storm, and James Gibson will participate in the 2005 TPI tournament.

Cena's more like Dusty than Warrior.

They interviewed one of the pricipals of a Michelin team and he said they pretty much went out there to give the fans at least a little bit of a spectacle. They knew before hand they weren't going to race and how they felt on a warm up lap wouldn't change that. I did not know, until I heard them during the race, that they weren't allowed to change tires and get gas on the same stop anymore. That is pretty dangerous making them run the entire race (and qualifying) on the same tires (obviously fuel will be needed on the stops). I understand they are trying to cut costs, but that is nuts. IIRC, they can change one tyre per race if it's too damaged to continue racing. The tyre they take off has to be inspected and shit afterwards. Only one change is allowed though, so if a second tyre goes, you keep racing or drop out. I'm not sure if the no tyre changes thing is cost-cutting, or just another attempt to make the sport more exciting. They've had so many rule changes in the past few seasons. The sport has been pretty boring the past few seasons. All the rule changes have come in this season, and it's the first season Schumacher hasn't been winning every race with ridiculous ease...so obviously, there's something in the rules that's working to make it a more level playing field.

Technically, he's partly got a dual-sports/real athlete gimmick going, with the amount of times they mention his Superbowl appearances.

I read it. I'm just lazy. Toxxic/Danny over j00 and all that.

Justice has been served. Or, rather, Johnny has been SERVED~

If Schumacher and Barrichello had crashed when Michael was coming out of the pit-lane and it was a Jordan 1-2, with a podium consisting of Jordan and Minardi, I wouldn't put it past Ferrari to have demanded the result not stand. Total farce. So many people to blame. All the Michelen teams were doing their job by ensuring the safety of their drivers, so they can't really be held at fault. Michelen's incompetence, Ferrari's stubborness, the entire F-1's poor management, Jordan's U-turn (they had agreed not to start the race as well as Minardi. 9 out of the 10 teams agreed on not racing without a chicane, Ferrari were the hold-outs. Jordan changed their minds at the last minute, meaning Minardi had to do the same to stay in touch in the Constructor's Championship)...all of that has probably cost F-1 a lot of money, future and present.

Is it true BORT! actually stands for Big Ol' Red Testicles?

Yeah man, we're all gay here. Well...I think MikeOfEvil is just bi, but I dunno, he wears a lot of eyeliner for a bi guy. But...yeah, it's like, part of joining condition...so we've all got stuff in common to talk about. Just read Janus' promo from Battleground. He is such a bitch.

-ReGen- Update Got serious, put on some muscle, new attire, learnt how to wrestle. You know, minor stuff. Smarks Board Name: King Cucaracha Wrestlers Name: Landon Maddix Nickname(s): 'La Cucaracha' (between names), 'The Next Generation' Height: 5'10" Weight: 224lbs 'Hometown': Huron, South Dakota by way of Madrid, Spain Nationality: Span-Am. Half American, Half Spanish. Mother is Spanish, father American. Age: 21 (Birthdate=15/03/84) Face/Heel: Heel Stable: Cucaracha Internacional (w/Jay Hawke and JJ Johnson) Ring Escort: None Weapon(s): A table spot specialist when he can use them within the rules. Not opposed to using other weapons should the opportunity arise. Quotes/Sayings: "Prepare for Landon" "You Ain't Seen Nothing Yet!" Taunts: Playing with or fiddling with his hair. Generic Heel Taunts Looks: Caucasian. A lot more serious now, so gone is the floppy hair and instead his blonde hair is cropped to a more fashionable, manageable neck length. Put on a bit more muscle and improved his all round physical condition as a result. Youthful looking. But, he's got some new heelish (~!) designer stubble. Ring Attire- Now that he's less 'scrawny', Maddix has adopted some new attire. Traditional length wrestling tights, black with red patterning down the right hip and around to the BUTT. Black kneepads and elbowpads, black boots with red kickpads. Taped wrists. Entrance Attire- Long, black, sleeveless leather jacket that reaches to the back of his knees. Has an elaborate little design on the back which really doesn't need describing, more than it being 'Spanish' and having the words 'La Cucaracha' on. Basic Ring Entrance: "PREPARE...FOR...LANDON!" ...WAAAAAHHHHH... *DUM DUM* The post-opening part of "Megalomaniac" by Incubus hits, as from behind the curtain steps Landon Maddix, stopping at the top of the ramp and thrusting his hands out to his side to boos. More serious now, Landon will keep posturing to a minimum and simply walks down the ramp on the way to the ring. ***FUNYON'S INTRO*** Landon leaps to the apron, looking out at the crowd. Again, serious and stuff, he'll enter the ring and dispose of his ring jacket before going through pre-match warm-ups. Stats: ¯¯¯¯¯ Strength: 3 (More muscle = more strength, something which was a requirement really for Landon. Enough to comfortably throw fellow cruisers. 245/250 is probably his limitation but hey, improvement is improvement. The muscle is as much for his new-found submissionary as it is for lifting people though.) Speed: 6 (Still speedy. Quick on his feet and slippery when it comes to flipping out of and countering moves/attacks. Speed of moves is also pretty quick. Most of his more adventurous offence is gone, but he's still more than capable of luchadore tactics if needed.) Vitality: 6 (As his nickname would suggest (La Cucaracha=The Cockroach), Maddix is a stubborn sunnuva gun. Can, has and generally will take a beating. But he'll generally make a comeback regardless. More than capable in hardcore and other 'gruelling' gimmick matches. Oh, and he's gone an hour before, so has solid conditioning.) Charisma: 5 (He's cocky, he's brash...and he knows how to throw an insult or ten. In the ring, he's being conditioned to be more focused now, so he won't pose and posture quite so much. Or, at least, that's the theory.) Style: I think the word is 'Hybrid'. Naturally, he's a striker with plenty of flashy offence. But he's trying to change into a serious, Striker/Submission wrestler. Best see Notes to make sense of that. Signature moves: -> Wet Cement- Front facelock applied from the front on a seated opponent, with a body scissors. Used by Jamie Noble...and of course, Tom Flesher. Hey, remember when I retired him. Yeah. Good times. Maddix knows what this feels like, but also knows that Flesher was a great technical wrestler, so he felt it only right to steal this move. As a tribute. Yeah, tribute. As one of the few submission Maddix knew pre-Hawke, this is valuable. -> Satellite Headscissors to Crossface- Pretty self explanatory. Resurrected because Landon needs every submission he's ever known. The closest to an 'out of nowhere' submission you'll get from me and even then, unless Landon works the arm for some odd reason, it'll only serve to weaken the neck a little more. Unless you're a tapping pussy. -> Half and Half Suplex- Half Nelson w/ Chickenwing, into a suplex. Or basically, half a Dragon Suplex, half a Tiger Suplex. -> Exploder Suplex- William Regal style, i.e not exactly match-ending. -> Complete Shot- Traps the head and the arm from the side, before dropping back, driving the opponent face-first to the mat...all in quick order. Hassan's finisher, also used by Christopher Daniels. Maddix is quick enough for this to be a counter to a clothesline, palm strike or other strikes of the manner. -> Mount Crushmore- Lungblower. South Dakota is the Mount Rushmore state of course. Basically, the Land Of Nod works the back a little, so this is Maddix's main 'yeah, I'm gonna work the back' type of move/moves. Can also be done off the middle rope onto a standing opponent if something flashy is required. -> Swandive Headbutt- About the only high flying move he has left in the regular moveset. Hey, Jay and JJ get to use it, why not Landon? -> Cravatés- 3/4 chancre, speciality of Chris Hero. Oh, God, you will get SICK of these! Landon's never been a good chain wrestler and even now, he's only 'competent'. In his lessons, Hawke made the mistake of teaching Landon the cravaté. And now, whenever Landon's lost in a match, he'll grab a cravaté. It's like his comfort blanket. The thing is, they're like headlocks. They don't do a whole lot of damage and they're just as irritating. Sometimes, Landon will throw on a cravaté just to mess with the opponent or the fans. Once it's locked in, Landon might mix things up and actually do something with it. Might. Otherwise, he'll just stand there and make you look a doofus, stuck in such a basic looking hold. 'Common' Moves: -> Elevated Muta Lock- Like the traditional Muta lock (Indian Deathlock with bridging facelock), but rather than bridge, Maddix applies the Indian Deathlock and pulls the opponent to his knees by hair/tights/whatever. Then Maddix will apply the facelock part of the move. You may have seen AJ Styles use it. It's not too hard to counter but it's good for weakening up the neck and back.) -> Octopus Hold- (Like an abdominal stretch, but Maddix's free leg is placed behind the opponent's head as well. Works neck and back towards the LON. Maddix is just about flexible to get the move on 'regular sized' people, but anyone taller than average will provide problems and he probably won't bother trying.) -> Mexican Surfboard- (Not elevated, but rather the seated version. Pulls the opponent up to their knees and then pulls back on the head in a chinlock.) -> Hurri-Lanrana- (Hurricanrana...most variations could be used, including top rope and springboard. One of his rarer flashy offensive moves.) -> Mushroom Stomps -> Dropsault -> Kawada Kicks- (Amongst their various training tactics, JJ and Jay decided to introduce Landon to Puro. And once he got over the confusion, Landon found something he could steal. On a doubled over opponent, Landon grabs the opponent by the hair and fires quick, unprotected kicks into their face. All hail the kickpads!) -> Maddix-Kick- (The much used Superkick. No *STOMP* set-up anymore, much as Maddix would love to, just to piss people off. You'd never accuse someone imitating Shawn Michaels of being 'serious' though, so it had to go.) -> Triple Kick Combo- (Two straight kicks to the sternum leading up to an Enziguri.) -> Forearm Strikes/Flying Forearm/Leaping Forearm Smash/Diving Forearm In The Corner- (Forearm-fu! Forearms are the staple of Landon's offence, ala Danny's elbows. Only, not so powerful.) -> Knifedge Chops -> BOOTSCRAPES~! -> Get Licked- (Dropkick bootscrape in the corner, the momentum taking Landon through the ropes and to the floor.) -> Double Stomp/Back Senton- (An instantanious combo, with Maddix dropping straight off the double stomp and into the back senton.) -> Various Heelish Tactics- (Just because he's serious, doesn't mean he can't cheat. He's a little less reliant on tomfoolery now as he has submission and strikes to fall back on. He's dropped the more 'Memphis' stuff too, in accordance with being serious.) Rare moves: -> Crash Landon- With Landon on the middle rope, and the opponent stood in front of him on the mat, a Tornado Downward Spiral. Maddix's former #1 finisher, it's been deemed surplus to requirements by Hawke and JJ in favour of playing the averages. The risk isn't worth the result. BUT, Maddix will still use it sometimes because he's stubborn like that. If he does, on a rare occasion use it, it's still Finisher strength...but still not instant 100% doom. -> Exploder '98- Cruiser Killer #1. Wrist Clutch Exploder Suplex. -> Pepsi Max Plunge- Cruiser Killer #2. Top Rope Pedigree. -> Spaceman Plancha- Playing the averages again. The potential risk doesn't warrant the potential result. But Maddix liked being flashy so as much as his newfound 'trainers' don't like it, Landon might bust it out on rare occassions. -> The Wrath Of Maddix- Figure Four Leglock. He's not devoted enough to the move to work the legs, unless it happens for him. A submission move is a submission move though. Finishers: 1) Submission- Land of Nod- Dragon Clutch. The new primary finisher, Maddix has been working on perfecting this move to get maximum effect from it, in a further attempt to 'hang' with the submission favouring main eventers. It's very effective at any time in the match against those at 5 vitality or less. A little neckwork though and it could put the finishing touches to anyone. It's not impossible to escape and it's not OMG INSTA DEATH~!, but it is effective. 2) Striking- Shining Wizard- Main striking move. B-Boy 'knee you in the mu'fu'face' style, rather than the boring 'knee you in the back of the head/side of the ear' style. More for 'out of nowhere' victories or used when the Land Of Nod doesn't seem to work. Notes: Maddix has never, ever, been a technical wrestler of any note. Ever. But as his form dipped during 2005, Maddix realised he had flaws in his arsenal that just had to be filled. Luckily, his newfound friends Jay Hawke and JJ Johnson were there to help. Maddix wasn't a bad striker, but with help from former UFC fighter JJ he's improved even on that. Meanwhile, submission specialist Hawke has taken on the unenviable task of teaching Maddix to...you know, wrestle. The result is that Maddix has learnt the ins and outs of submission wrestling too. He's smarter. He's tougher. He's better. But, he's not the finished article yet. Maddix still has his flaws. New muscles and all, Maddix still isn't 'strong'. He's still learning so his submission work and technical prowess isn't brilliant...although, vastly improved. Then again, it's not hard to improve on 0. And, probably most importantly, he's a stubborn kid at times. Change is hard. The old Landon Maddix is still there, lurking in the depths at the back of his brain and sometimes, it'll creep to the surface. Whether that's the cockiness, the flashiness or the down-right ludicrious, who knows? He's better...in theory. It's just up to Maddix whether he can resist the temptations that he grew up admiring and he's built his career on. Bio: PM me if really needed. Commentary Note: Despite the heel turn, Suicide King still HATES Maddix. There's a little bit of in-ring and a bunch of out of the ring history there that I don't really need to go in-depth into. But King just plain hates Maddix. So Maddix is one heel the heel comentator won't route for. He'll give nothing more than begrudging praise.

He's using an Ankle Lock as one of his finishers. This guy is officially my new (and presumably temporary) god. Anyone got dibs on the debut match yet?

and your gay lol A winner is you.