King Cucaracha

A lot of valid points. I guess once you know enough about the business, it sticks with you.

Simon/Swinger are under TNA contract, and are broken up. Simon is now "Irish" Pat Kenney, and Swinger teams with Glen Gilberti as the New York Connection. Forgive me. The Wrestling Channel is only up to December '03. But, yeah.

So much for that. Computer's lost it, and I'm too lazy to re-write. However, I may write a jobber squash in it's place. We shall see.

Wow. I can't even think of a witty comment. Just...wow.

Teams need to be TEAMS, not random midcarders bunged together or 'Wacky Partners Who Hate Each Other'. Matching costumes, tag names, tag moves, some sort of distinguishing factor. Stuff like that. There's plenty of half-decent/decent teams on the indie scene like the Havan Pitbulls or Simon/Swinger that could fit in with the WWE style. Not to mention the tag mentality the OVW has.

Besides what's been mentioned already: 1) Vince MUST get rid of the B show mentality, or hand it over to someone else to take care of. I'm sure if Shane was given total control, at least stuff would happen. Sure, we'd get him in big feuds...but I'd put up with that if he actually gave a damn about the show. Give it to Heyman. Give it to Cornette. Give it to someone other than Pritchard or Steph. They've had their chance. They failed. Time to change. 2) Get some morale back in the lockerroom...and get some damn control If Holly continues to be the self-centered jerk he is reported to be, he must go. If RVD continues to turn up late, he must go. I don't care how popular he is. Lack of commitment should be punished. Get rid of the back-stabbing, back-fighting, bitchy comments that the dirtsheets are dieing for. Try and make people happy on the show. 3) DO SOMETHING! The show is the same over and over again each week. If something surprising or interesting where to happen, the crap can be somewhat overshadowed. 4) Bring in Sting...see above. The guy is worth a go surely. Sting's debut would get people talking, for better or worse. If it doesn't work, then at least they've made the effort and attempt. The show NEEDS a gamble to be made.

What's the problem with the cruiserweight division going? It's not like the Cruisers are even divided, as the word would suggest. If it were a true 'division', the Cruisers would never face anyone above the weight limit. Which they do. Getting rid of the division just gets rid of the belt. Besides that, it's not like anyone will be able to notice the difference.

MAIN EVENT SIX-MAN MADNESS~! Toxxic, Tom Flesher, and Ace Lezaire vs. Nathanial Kibagami, Dace Night, and Ryan Dustin Toxxiflace. IMMEDIATE TITLE SHOT CASH-IN OF DOOM FOR THE ICTV TITLE~! Janus vs. Johnny Dangerous I see Janus dropping the belt either way. MYSTERIOUS MAN CONTINUES TRAIL OF DEATH… OR DOES HE~!? “Deathwish” Danny Williams vs. Masked Man Supes, you've dug yourself into a whole with your MIDCARDER 4 LYFE~! character and superior ability. Ah well. MAJORLY close one, but Maskler nicks it. FOUR-WAY ELIMINATION NO-DQ WACKINESS FOR THE CRUISERWEIGHT TITLE NO. 1 CONTENDERSHIP~! Crow vs. “Hollywood” Spike Jenkins vs. Jimmy “The Demon” Liston vs. Todd Cortez I'll go with Cortez by process of elimination. FOLLOW-UP FRAY~! David Blazenwing vs. Insane Luchadore So...how do we explain this one? OPENING ONSLAUGHT~! Tryst vs. Munich Win, win, win.

Lol...totally. I just wanted to show to be honest. But, yeah. Sly, if you've still got your match I'd suggest you send it to someone ASAP and maybe they'll edit it in. That way you've proof of your showing and such. Rando...I too was a little bothered about the lack of neck selling slightly. I totally understand why you did (build Alan's resiliance), but I felt the Rage should'a fucked up your neck, resiliance or not. Just my opinion though. Ok...best leave before things get HOSTILE~ up in here again.

[Yeah. I fully expected to lose so it's no biggy. Congrats and all to Alan and Danny on a great main event. As for me...well, Janus wasn't able to write, so I scraped this together. Any feedback and such would be nice, although I have a rough idea of what I didn't do well etc...not to mention being 50 words over limit. Just wanted to get this somewhere it could be seen. ] "And...we're back!" Cyclone Comet's booming voice greets us upon return to SWF Lockdown...with the raucous sold-out crowd in the Target Center on their feet, freaking out like sixteen year olds at a rave. Or...something. Much cheering is afoot as the camera pans the arena letting the crowd see themselves on the big screens, and picking out the many signs on show...including a rather vulgar "Toxxic Cock Syndrome", one "I want to go 60 minutes with Alan" sign...held by a particularly bulbous woman...and a rather ominous "R.I.P Flesher" sign, complete with blood spatterings. And lets not forget the heel section, who've come equipped with a large "Danny is a Tranny" sign...especially for the champ. And speaking of which, it's main event time...so eventually the camera stops it's sweeping of the masses, and swoops down to the announce position, where Bobby Riley, Cyclone Comet and two prominent cans of Pepsi Max sit. "Welcome back to all of you Citizens in T.V land. I am of course..." Cut to close-up camera... "CYCLLLLOOOOOOOONNNEEEEEEE COMET!!" A mysterious gust of wind suddenly blows past, catching Comet's cape and a couple of Riley's papers, which he hurriedly catches before they flutter off. "Alongside me is Bobby Riley...and ladies and gentlemen, we are just mere moments away from our main-event here tonight. And yes, it is your ADVERTISED main-event, unlike on Storm. Two very heated rivalries have been jammed into a proverbial booking blender...the results being this match. The USJL and ICTV Champions, Landon Maddix and Janus, team up to take on Alan Clark and the SWF World Heavyweight Champion 'Deathwish' Danny Williams. Bobby, any thoughts?" Riley has managed to re-group his papers by now but not his thoughts, as he totally ignores Cyclone. Seeing the lights in the arena dim around him, Comet decides not to bother re-trying...as meanwhile an alarm starts to warble around the arena. The ominous red letters flash onto the SmarkTron, and the crowd are already jeering, knowing exactly who is on his way... *DOOOOOOOOONNNGGG!!!* [sTATUS: RELEASED!] Fear Factory's "Resurrection" echoes through the arena, causing the boos to intensify as spotlights sweep around the crowd and blue pyro starts to fountain from the rampsides, causing a rain of azure sparks to shoot to the floor. "Consumed with memories... That preceded today... Given a chance to bereave... Life that's slipping AWAY!" The Hell Machine emerges through the entranceway, lifting his arms in the air as the pyro fountains begin to cease. "Ladies and gentlemen...this contest is your MAIN EVENT, and is a tag team contest, scheduled for one fall. Introducing team number one. First...from Sydney, Australia. He weighs in at three hundred and sixty pounds. The reigning SWF ICTV CHAMPION! This is... THE HELL MACHINE... JAAAAAAAAAAAANUUUUUUSSSSSS!!!" "Revive all my fears! Revive wasted tears! Revive void within! Revive once again!" Reaching the bottom of the ramp, Janus removes his trenchcoat while glaring through the darkness at some vocal fans...laying his trenchcoat on the steps before rolling into the ring and thrusting his arms into the air... *BOOOOOOOOMMM!!!* ...as blue flames shoot out from each ringpost, drowning out the boos only momentarily. However, whereas usually the lights would come back on, tonight they stay dimmed as immediately "Resurrection" segways into the ominous opening of Incubus' "Megalomaniac", to more boos from the crowd. "PREPARE...FOR...LANDON!" ...WAAAAAHHHHH... *DUM DUM* The song begins to kick into gear, just as Landon Maddix emerges onto the blue lit stage, laden with his gold as always. Megan Skye is out moments later, as Maddix stops and raises his JL belts in the air, soaking up the boos being shot his way. "And his partner...accompanied to the ring by his 'Perfect 10' Megan Skye. From Huron, South Dakota and weighing two hundred ten pounds...he is the reigning USJL TRIPLE CROWN CHAMPION! Ladies and gentlemen...LAAAANDOOOOONN... "LA CUCARACHA"... MAAAAAADDIIIIIIXXX!!!" Maddix stops and raises his arms again momentarily, before continuing his walk to the ring and eventually leaping to the apron. Megan receives a helping hand up and has the ropes opened for her, before Maddix climbs to the middle turnbuckle...turns out to the crowd and grins broadly, waiting for his cue... "HEY MEG - A -LOMANIAC" ...to thrust his arms skywards, and further display his gold to some heavy heat from the fans. Janus watches all this with a sour look on his face, as Landon jumps into the ring and passes off his gold to assigned official Ced Ordonez. "Although I don't like either of these Citizens..." beings Comet. "I must say, I'm looking forward to the prospect of them teaming together. They are of course the ICTV and USJL Champions respectively..." "And without doubt, two future World Champions. In Janus' case, future being NEAR future." With Ced now holding four title belts, he decides it best to offload them to the outside while he still has the chance. Meanwhile the odd couple of Maddix and Janus turn their attentions to the ramp-way, as the storm begins to brew inside of the Target Center! The opening notes of "Wanted Dead Or Alive" play... *KEEEE-RRRAAACCCCCKKK!!!* ...before a bolt of lightning cuts it off, leaving the crowd in their usual respectful silence. "smile...." Until "Smile" by Taproot hits, bringing them out of their silence and into the world of much-cheering, just in time for Alan Clark to stride out from the back, glaring down the aisle at Landon Maddix. The focus is evident in Clark's eyes...as is the discomfort in his neck, obviously still feeling the effects of Rage Unleashed on Storm. "The opponents...first, from Long Beach, California. Weighing in at two hundred and twenty five pounds... ALLLLAAAAAAANNNN... CLLLLLAAAAAARRRRRRRRRK!!!" The crowd pop again, as Clark stands at the bottom of the ramp, unaffected by the verbal abuse he is now getting from Maddix. 'Cause he's got back-up. "And his partner..." "DAN-E! DAN-E! DAN-E!" The crowd are already chanting...even before In Flame’s “Jester’s Dance” begins to play, bringing the crowd into a frenzy of noise! A few moments more pass, before the SWF Champion finally steps out from the back, causing the crowd to pop like a whole bag of cherries! "...from Louisville Kentucky! He weighs in tonight at two hundred and forty three pounds. The reigning... SWF... WOOOOOORRRLLLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAAAMPION! This is "DEATHWISH"... DAAAAAAAANNNYYYYYY... WIIIIILLLLIIIIAAAAAAAAMMMSSS!!!" Danny reaches the bottom of the ramp and quickly unstraps the SWF Title belt from around his waist, passing it to a nearby stage-hand... ...before storming the ring with Clark, causing Maddix to scurry from the ring and Janus to back off slightly. He needn't worry, as Ced makes sure the match doesn't begin until he's good and ready, ordering Clark and Danny to their corner whilst Janus makes his way to his...glaring into the eyes of Williams all the while. "The tension in this arena has reached feverpitch!" erupts Comet. "This is the match these people have been waiting for. Will Danny and Janus go at it? Will Alan and Landon go at it?" "It'll be hard for them not to Comet. After all, they are on opposite teams." "True...but where's the DRAWMUH~! in that?" Williams and Clark respectfully go to their corner, as meanwhile Janus is making it clear to Maddix that he wants to start...getting no objections from Landon, who is more than happy for the seven footer to do the hard-work for him. Alan and Danny are meanwhile in discussion, whilst Ced calls for the bell to be rung. *DING DING DING!* The match is officially underway...but Alan and Danny are still trying to decide who faces The Hell Machine, with neither man wanting to go to the apron. Clark points to his sore neck and then to Janus, making it clear he wants some retribution...and Danny backs down, allowing Clark to start but not looking best pleased with it. "So it's Clark and Janus to start...a re-run of Storm's main event." Both Clark and Janus walk into the center of the ring, and the gulf in size is immediately evident, with Janus dwarfing the full foot shorter former Cruiserweight Champion. But to his credit, Alan shows no fear, looking up into the Hell Machine's eyes and pointing to his neck to further indicate his motivation. Janus however just laughs. A long, deep, downright scary laugh. Clark still doesn't show any fear though, and rather foolishly dares Janus to give him his best shot... *OOOOOF!* ...which he does, with a knee to the gut that takes Clark fully off his feet. That's all the incentive Alan needs, as he dives forward and goes straight for Janus' right leg, trying to take him down in some manner by the limb. Janus kicks Alan away quickly, but Alan rolls through and charges at Janus again, this time with a flurry of right hands. They have little effect on Janus though, as he easily grabs hold of Clark's head and slams his own cranium into Clark's, causing him to fly back into his own corner... *SLAP!* "YEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!" ...WHERE DANNY TAGS HIMSELF IN! "Now HERE we GO~!" erupts Comet. "Danny Williams and Janus! This match is about to explode!" "Baton down the hatches Cyclone!" Riley booms too. "All HELL is gonna break loose!" Danny steps into the ring with the crowd going absolutely nuts for the World Champion's introduction into the match...despite Maddix imploring them to hush from the apron. Janus is standing tall, not backing up an inch to Williams as he begins to walk over. Again, the size difference is quickly apparent...but Danny could care less, adjusting his elbow pad ominously whilst getting ever closer to Janus. "DAN-E! DAN-E! DAN-E!" The crowd are on their feet in anticipation, waiting for the imminent explosion. And they need not wait much longer, as Janus and Williams are now face to face...or as close as possible...and finally ready to strike, both swing out with punches at the same time and connecting...rocking each other back a step or two. Danny is quickest to react after the blow, turning on his heels and charging at Janus with a spear... ...TAKING JANUS DOWN! "YEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!"[/i][/i] The crowd again erupt, as Williams mounts the monster and starts to pound the crap out of his face with his trademark elbows. Three or four good blows connect before Janus can offload Danny and get back to his feet, only for the World Champ to charge head-long at him again and hit a running elbow smash across the chest. Shocked, Janus drops to a knee and gasps for breath, taking an elbow across the face for his troubles which sends spit flying through the air. "My god...Danny Williams is elbowing the hell out of the Hell Machine!" erupts Comet. Feeling power running through him, Williams backs up and holds his arm high in the air to cheers from the Milwaukee natives, before charging back at Janus looking for another elbow... ...but gets caught, and goozled by Janus! "Oh, no Cyclone...there's PLENTY of hell left in Janus!" Quickly Janus grabs Danny by the tights, using them as leverage to haul the World Champion into the air, and DRILL him with a chokeslam! And Danny has no time to recover before Janus drops to his side and makes a pinfall attempt... ONE! TWO! TWOCOUNT! More angered at the kickout than surprised, Janus grabs a hold of Danny's thick brown hair and slams a right hand over his head...before turning to Clark and smiling sadistically. But in that time, Williams has re-grouped himself, and as Janus turns around Danny takes him down with a smooth double-leg takedown. The seven foot frame of Janus hits the canvas hard, dis-orientating him long enough for Williams to hook hold of The Hell Machine's right leg and turn him slooooowly over, into an elevated half crab...and just to be a bastard, Williams steps on the head of Janus. "Now that's one way to stop the Hell Machine." observes Comet. "I can't see him giving up..." "Believe me, those words aren't in his vocabulary." "Not that his vocabulary is that diverse anyway..." "You're lucky he can't hear you." Whever Janus can escape or not is a mute point, as Maddix comes in as soon as the hold is locked in...prompting Danny to release the hold and threaten an elbow his way. Quickly Maddix retreats, damn near diving out of the ring to avoid the elbow of DOOM~! With Landon taken care of, Danny turns back to Janus and receives a punch to the gut...but shrugs it off, and smashes his elbow into Janus' jaw once more. The Hell Machine is gradually being worn down, firing with a punch which lacks it's usual 'zing' which Williams shrugs off quickly. A grab of the hair by Danny helps him drag Janus up, pushing him into his team's corner and tagging Clark back in. "Here comes the beltless wonder." sneers Riley. Clark steps in as Danny holds Janus' arm in the air...creating space for Clark to boot Janus in the ribs. The ICTV Champ grunts in anger, as Clark moves Janus to the ropes and attempts an irish whip. There's nothing doing though as Janus proves too strong...until Danny steps back into the ring, and helps Clark to send Janus across the ring before stepping out. Clark meanwhile waits for Janus to rebound towards him and fires a stiff kick his way... ...which Janus catches! Desperately Clark jumps up and down on his standing foot as the smile has returned to Janus' face... *SMAAACK!* ...but not for long, as Clark nails an enziguri! "What a SHOT! That ECHOED around this arena!" booms Comet. "That's just because the crowd are so quiet, what with Clark being in the ring." Janus drops to a knee, as Clark regains his feet and quickly runs off the ropes, but as he returns Janus finds his feet and charges with a HUGE clothesline, turning Alan three hundred sixty degrees in the air to sympathetic "OOOH"'s from the crowd. "Now THAT was a shot!" Riley booms. Janus turns to Danny and grins, taking Clark by the hair and pointing down to him, as if to say 'this could be you'. However, his attention is momentarily drawn by Landon Maddix, leaning into the ring and quite frankly begging to be tagged into the ring. Usually Janus would probably tell Maddix to go to hell...but he's had his fun for now, so extends his hand... *SLAP!* ...allowing Maddix to tag himself in. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" "Here we go!" Riley beams. "The Sixty Minute Man!" With Clark de-capacitated, Landon is free to cockily stroll into the ring and take his time in stomping Alan in the chest. Alan is unable to retaliate, so Maddix kicks Alan again...and again...and a fourth time, just for fun. Danny Williams is glaring a whole through the cocky USJL Champion, who could care less as he starts to mockingly perform some jumping jacks while Clark tries to get back up. "LANDON SUCKS! LANDON SUCKS! LANDON SUCKS!" Clark reaches his feet just as the chants begin to fire up, angering Maddix slightly...which is not good news for Clark. Landon fires a stinging right hand his way, before hooking his arms under Clark's and flipping him into the air belly to belly style. But instead of letting Clark fly to the mat, Maddix waits for his opponent to reach the peak of his flight before pulling him violently down on the top of his head, jolting the already injured neck! "Jack-o-Landon from...err...Landon." observes Comet. "See...that didn't take sixty minutes!" With a smug grin, Landon places his forearm across Clark's jaw and forces down as he makes a cover... ONE! TWO! EASYKICKOUT. Maddix takes handful of Clark's hair and pulls his heated rival up slowly, enjoying every second of his dominance. Playfully he slaps Clark across the face before slamming a slightly less playful forearm into the jaw, rocking Clark back a step or two. Before he can recover, Alan then finds himself whipped towards the corner and unable to stop himself from crashing sternum first into the buckles. Alan recoils and staggers out, straight into the waiting arms of Maddix, who takes him over in one swift backdrop suplex movement! "Alan dropped on his neck once more...you just know that Maddix has '13th Hour' running through his mind right now." "Well, obviously Comet. With a smug grin, Landon turns over to the World Champion and yells 'BACKDROPPAAAAH~!'...much to Danny's annoyance. Meanwhile Janus has extended his hand waiting for a tag, but Maddix doesn't see it as he turns and drops a quick elbow drop to the neck of Clark. "ALAN! ALAN! ALAN!" As the crowd begin to get behind Clark, the Triple Crown slowly backs away into one corner of the ring and holds his hand up high... *STOMP!* "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! "Oh yes...time to tune up the choir Comet!" *STOMP!* *STOMP!* *STOMP!* *STOMP!* *STOMP!* ... *SMACK!* Landon hits the Sweet Disciple Music, and much like his Wayward Son partner earlier in the night, Clark hits the deck like a sack of potatoes. Quickly Maddix drops down and rolls Clark on his back, making a cover... ONE! TW... ...NO... Landon pulls Clark up, grinning over at Janus who returns the look. Rolling off the cover, Maddix reaches up to Janus... *SLAP!* ...tagging him into the match, to jeers from the crowd. Janus steps in over the top, glaring down at his helpless prey as he strides slowly over. "DAN-E! DAN-E! DAN-E!" "Listen to this crowd get behind the World Champion!" beams Riley. "Pity he's on the apron and Alan Clark is in the ring." "Well...it's getting to Janus." "Which is totally unfair to poor Janus. He's trying to concentrate on his match." Ignoring the chants, the Hell Machine scoops Clark off the mat and to his feet...the still groggy Clark slumping forward into Janus, as the ICTV Champion takes a moment to glare over at Williams. Danny simply glares right back, as Janus hooks his mammoth arms around Clark's waist and throws him effortlessly with a release overhead belly to belly suplex, causing Alan to land awkwardly across his neck. Janus could care less...too busy looking at Danny, a pseudo-staredown engaging between the two across the ring. Snarling, Janus dares Danny to attack him... ...and Danny enters the ring, but is quickly prohibited by Ced Ordonez... ...all the excuse Landon needs to enter the ring, and quickly put the boots to Clark! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! "Damn it...Citizen Maddix is cheating again..." "What about Williams!?!" wails Riley. "He's the guy distracting Ordonez!" "...Landon's still cheating." Eventually Danny retreats...Landon promptly doing the same to avoid being caught by Ordonez. Janus meanwhile walks back over to the increasingly weakened Clark and raises a leg...dramatically dropping it across Clark throat, before turning over and placing a hand on Alan's chest... ONE! TWO! THR.. SHOULDERUPFROMCLARK! With a grunt Janus begins to get back up... *SLAP!* ...while Landon slaps him on the back, tagging himself in. Janus seems not-best-pleased as Landon scoots into the ring and prepares to dish out some punishment. Only trouble is, there's a seven foot monster standing in his way. And he's not wanting to move! "Uh oh!" Comet says quite happily. "There may be some trouble in paradise!" "KICK HIS ASS! KICK HIS ASS! KICK HIS ASS!" The crowd have no qualms in rooting for Janus in this confrontation...a confrontation that Landon wants no part of, touching Janus cautiously to 'un-tag' himself before sliding hurriedly out of the ring. However this isn't the AAA, so that's not gonna cut it. Ordonez shakes his head and orders an angered Janus to the apron before ordering Landon back into the ring. Janus complies as does Maddix...who is still trying to apologize to the bigman, and offers to tag him back in. But in the meantime Alan is halfway across the ring looking to tag out, so Landon forgets that, diving across the ring and grabbing Clark's leg, just as he goes for the tag... ...but can't quite reach! Maddix finally has a good grip of Clark's leg and is able to pull Alan further away from his corner, driving an elbow into his neck to stop him crawling. Quickly Maddix follows up with a second elbow before getting back to his feet and dragging Clark to his knees...giving him a mocking slap across the face before taking his sweet time about backing off the ropes and 'charging' at Clark. But his 'charge' is far too slow, and by the time Landon swings out for a shining wizard Alan is able to duck it! "Wha...wha...wha?" mumbles Bobby. "Well, Clark ducked, but is unable to follow up...still, Landon's frustrated that he missed..." In that frustration Landon kicks out at the air, before turning back to Clark and kicking him in the head... ...to no effect?! Another kick connects, but again...it has no effect on Clark. A look of determination is etched on his face as he begins to climb back to his feet, absorbing punches from Landon all the way. "My god...he's...Clarking Up!?!" gasps Comet. "Oh, shut up." Frustrated at the lack of effect his strikes are having, Maddix grabs Clark by the hair and hurls him towards the canvas, where his head bounces off the mat violently, halting Alan's brief comeback before it could even get going. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" "So much for the 'Clarking Up', eh Comet? I'm sure Hogan's rolling in his grave after that feeble attempt." "Hulk Hogan's not dead..." "Good as..." Danny slams his hand on the turnbuckle in annoyance, as Landon celebrates re-taking control by walking to the corner... *SLAP!* ...and tagging back in Janus! "Speaking of which, it looks like Alan Clark is as good as dead too!" Clark reaches his feet, but can mount no offense as Janus wastes no time in pulling Alan forward and up, onto his colossal shoulders. Helplessly Alan holds his arms out, looking for the ropes or a tag...but both are a long way away, especially when Janus begins to spin around with an airplane spin. "Thoughts In Chaos!" Riley beams. "This'll break Clark's neck for good!" Janus gets through three sixty degrees quickly and keeps spinning, waiting until just before the seven twenty mark before pushing Clark's legs out... ...but Clark manages to hook on a reverse front facelock in mid-air... ...and uses his momentum to drive Janus down with a diving reverse DDT!!! "YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!" "Beautiful counter!" erupts Comet. "Now...can Alan Clark make the tag!?!" The crowd are on their feet, willing Clark to reach his corner, but the reverse DDT may have taken all the energy Clark had left, as he remains down on the canvas. Janus too is down and dis-orientated, and once Ced is sure both men aren't moving, he raises his arms in the air... ONE! "Citizen Ordonez begins his count..." "Citizen Ordonez?" sighs Riley. "That's REALLY getting old." "So are you, but I'm not complaining." TWO! "Neither's Lance..." THREE! "Who's Lance!?!" FOUR! "...er...nevermind...COME ON JANUS~!" By now Janus is up to his knees, and Ced stops his count accordingly. Scrambling across the ring, Janus manages to grab Clark by the tights to stop him tagging in Danny. But Clark may not need the World Champion, as he's got his third wind, and is beginning to fire right hands into the gut of the Hell Machine! Surprisingly they seem to be having an effect on the bigman, despite the energy Alan has lost...as gradually Janus' arms begin to drop to his side and his head begins to fall from it's usual commandeering position. "Would you look at this!?!" gasps Comet. "Alan Clark is wearing down the Hell Machine!" Slowly the right hands begin to move north, towards Janus' head area...which is when Janus finally fires out with a knee to the gut to stop Clark's momentum. Grabbing a front facelock, Janus prepares to take Clark down with an Everdream... ...but Clark spins behind, prompting Maddix to enter the ring, ready to aid his partner. Alan meanwhile waits for Janus to turn around before grabbing an arm, and irish whipping Janus across the ring. "Watch OUT..." Maddix does just that, seeing Janus coming and manages to dive out of Janus' way, leaving him free to career shoulder first into the turnbuckles! Maddix meanwhile regains his feet and charges at Clark, who is waiting and grabs the on-rushing Triple Crowner, twisting him into a tilt a whirl backbreaker to Megan's clear dismay. Meanwhile, out of the corner staggers Janus, towards Alan who quickly leaps into the air... *SMACK!* ...and catching him in the back of the head with a leaping enziguri! "Alan Clark is cleaning house!" booms Cyclone. "Maybe he should consider that as a future job then." sneers Riley. "He'll need one soon..." Now Janus and Maddix are both taken care of, Clark stops and holds his neck in discomfort, before dramatically turning and pointing to his tag team partner! Quite understandably the crowd pop like a balloon in extreme temperatures, whilst Clark needlessly asks for their approval. Suitably approved, Clark smiles and extends the hand... *SLAP!* "YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" TAGGING. IN. DANNY! "LET JUSTICE BE SERVED!" booms Comet, standing up to emphasis his point. Stepping into the ring, Danny is fueled on by his legions of fans as first to stagger over him is Maddix. The Triple Crowner stops in shock...and promptly gets elbowed in the jaw, sending him flying backwards and rolling clear across the ring to find safety. Back up now is Janus...and he gets an elbow too, although without the same effect. Janus does drop to a knee from the impact though, giving Danny the time to run to the ropes and fly back with a lariat... ...which is blocked by Janus, who grabs Williams by the throat! However this time, before Janus can hit the chokeslam, Danny manages to hit a back elbow before hooking an arm underneath Janus' and armdrag him impressively across the ring! "Now THAT'S our World Champion!" Cyclone beams. "Well...for this week at least." Riley sneers in response. Shocked, Janus regains his feet as Danny charges with another lariat... ...KNOCKING JANUS DOWN!!! "YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" "He's DOWN! He's DOWN!" "Calm down Comet, you'll give yourself a hernia!" Janus rolls from the ring as Danny starts to yell abuse down at the Hell Machine...allowing Landon to sneak up behind him, and Dropsault Williams in the back of the head! Williams sprawls into the ropes, but doesn't fall down...and soon turns back around, prompting Maddix to beg off! Backing away, Maddix hopes for a reprieve are dashed as he backs right into Alan Clark, who quickly grabs a waistlock on the Triple Crown Champion and german suplexes Maddix over. But rather than let go, Clark holds on to Landon and rolls through, before quickly pulling Landon up and nailing a second. "That's two germans...err...Hanz and Fritz, I guess. Will we see...another german..." "Hitler?" "...thanks." Again Alan rolls through and drags Maddix up...but his neck can take no more, and he thinks better of hitting a third german. So Danny kindly says 'Allow me', as he steps over and waistlocks Maddix, who is too weakened to avoid being thrown up... ...into... ...and through the air... ...before LANDING RIGHT ON HIS F'N HEAD!!! "Oh my god..." "That WAS Hitler...EVIL!" Maddix lays folded up on the mat, pressed up on his shoulders with his legs hanging over his head...while even Danny looks slightly shocked at the ferocity of his Dangerous German Suplex. "HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!" A clearly disturbed Megan Skye scrambles into the ring and starts to check on Maddix who eventually slumps onto his back. Watching all this meanwhile is Alan Clark...looking at Megan, and smiling in a way more suited to the Januses of the world...sadistically. But before he can do anything, the Hell Machine himself slides back into the ring and wipes him out with a stiff clothesline, sending Alan flying. Danny reacts, charging at Janus, who quickly raises his boot... *SMACK!* ...which the World Champion charges right into! "What a boot from Citizen Janus! These men may not even make it to 13th Hour if this keeps up!" With Danny, Clark and his partner all down, Janus is the last man left standing and seems pretty happy about it. Looking out to the jeering crowd, Janus nods...before running his thumb across his throat, letting everyone know that he's ready to end the match. Boos immediately fill the Target Center, as Janus turns to where Danny is finding his feet, waiting for him to turn around. "TEEEE - RRRENCE! TEEEEE - RRRENCE! TEEEEE - RRRENCE!" "Someone needs to tell this crowd they're a month too late. It's JANUS. Terrence is dead." The chants bring a snarl to Janus' teeth, as he angrily grabs Danny and scoops him onto his shoulder, ready for the ADF II... ...but Danny floats over the back, before taking Janus and looking for a backdrop suplex. The three hundred sixty pounder proves too heavy though, and Danny gives up quickly, deciding instead to elbow Janus in the gut and hit an uncharacteristic DDT. Janus' head bounces off the mat, as Danny quickly turns him over and makes a cover... ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Undeterred, Danny gets back to his feet and waits for Janus to slowly do the same. In the meantime, Alan Clark is back up and exiting the ring to go after Maddix, who is trying to recover on the outside. "Danny Williams has something planned...and hopefully, it's not throwing Janus. That just won't happen." observes Comet. The Hell Machine staggers up, and backwards into Danny's arms... ...AND A BUFFALO SLEEPERHOLD! "YEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!" Danny manages to get the hold locked in on the standing Janus' sizeable frame pretty quickly, leaning back with all his might to take Janus down to the mat with him, where he quickly hooks in a bodyscissors for good measure. Suddenly, Janus actually looks vulnerable...and in a good deal of trouble from the submission hold. "TAP! TAP! TAP!" The crowd want Janus to tap...he just wants to stop the pain. With nowhere to go, Janus tries to turn on to his front, where presumably he feels he'd have a better chance of escaping. Danny however stands firm, not allowing Janus to turn. “Danny should just give up now. Janus. Won’t. Quit.” "This is a deceptively dangerous submission move Bobbo…especially in the hands of Citizen Williams.” “Janus. WON’T. Quit!” But he needn't worry, as Maddix has got the upperhand on Clark and scrambles back into the ring to help Janus. A boot to Williams is not enough to make him break...but a vicious rake of the eyes moments later is. As Danny clasps at his eyes, Landon meanwhile gives Williams a helping hand to get back up. Danny promptly takes that hand, irish whipping Landon up and over the top rope with it, causing Maddix to land dangerously close to the announce table. With that taken care of Danny turns back around… …and gets clotheslined over the top, to the floor by Janus! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!” As Danny hits the floor Janus begins to follow…but is grabbed by Alan Clark, who has snuck back into the ring, and nailed with a right hand. Three more in quick succession follow, before Alan attempts his irish whip. That proves to be his downfall however, as Janus reverses the whip and pulls Clark forward… …scooping him up onto his shoulder, and quickly tucks Clark’s head in before dropping down… …and nailing the helpless Clark with the ADF II!!! “YES!” beams Riley as soon as Alan’s head bounces off the canvas. “It’s over this time!” With a sneer out to the crowd, Janus slowly covers Clark, not bothering to hook a leg as Ced dives over to count the… ONE! TWO! AND THR… NO! DANNY PULLS JANUS OUT! "YEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!" Now a brawl kicks up on the outside between Janus and Danny, who are exchanging their typical big punches and stiff elbows respectively. It’s Danny who seems to get the upper hand, and takes it even further by slamming Janus into the steel retaining barrier. Following that up, Danny clotheslines Janus over the barrier…but soon finds himself following over, courtesy of a flying forearm to the back of the head from Maddix! “This one’s spilling into the crowd. Chaos has erupted on Lockdown!” With Janus and Danny now continuing their heated rivalry on the floor, Landon quickly skulks away…noticing Clark laid out in the ring, and smiling smugly. Megan Skye is right beside him to mop him down with the towel, before Landon strolls cockily up the steel steps, all the while with Clark not moving. A quick stop and turn to taunt the crowd from Maddix brings a heavy amount of boos this way, before he leaps to the top rope in a single bound, and again holds his hands in the air. “What’s he gonna do here?” questions Comet. “Clark’s out. Why not pin him?” “Landon Maddix is too much of a man to not win on his own merits.” “Yeah, sure.” Nervously Maddix turns his head to check where Danny Williams is…and is relieved to see him and Janus still brawling over the guardrail, allowing him to turn back to Clark and quickly spring off the ropes. Alan is still not moving, as Landon backflips through the air, shooting star style… …and hits the Drug of Maddixion, jolting Clark’s already lifeless body! “Drug of Maddixion! Ring…the…bell baby!” Still Danny and Janus are brawling, so Landon winks quickly at Megan…before rolling over and pinning Clark… ONE! TWO! THREEEEE!!! “YES!” Riley again beams. “The Sixty Minute Man wins!” Boos fill the Target Center, as Maddix smugly pushes up to his knees and raises an arm in victory, whilst “Megalomaniac” hits in the background. Megan meanwhile retrieves the Triple Crown of titles, and begins to load them in the ring as Danny looks on in anger. “The winners of the match... The ICTV Champion JANUS… and the USJL Triple Crown Champion… LAAANDOOON… “LA CUCARACHA”… MAAAAADDIIIIIIXXXX!!!” “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!” “Alan Clark got beat Comet!” sneers Riley to his still silent partner. “And that was, what, ten minutes maybe. Landon can do that at least six times at 13th Hour!” “He won’t have Janus to do the damage to Clark though…” “Oh, believe me…the damage has BEEN done!” Scooping up his belts, Landon stands up and starts to put the badmouth on Clark… …while Danny Williams angrily rolls into the ring, glaring at Maddix angrily. “LANDON! RUN!” wails Bobby. Landon is completely unaware of Williams’ presence…too busy yelling down on Clark and showing off his belts. Eventually though Megan spots Danny, shrieking and wailing for Landon to turn around. So he does. *SMACK!* And gets a STIFF as hell elbow to the jaw, knocking him out and sending his three belts flying through the air! "YEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!" “Oh…what a shame.” sniggers Comet. But Danny isn’t done…spotting Janus stumbling around at ringside, and rolling from the ring. The bigman spots Williams early and meets him with a boot before pushing him back before Danny gets a head of steam and charges in with a running elbow, causing Janus to rock over the edge of the table precariously! “Oh god…Bobby…Bobby, get the hell out of here.” “Wait wait…my Pepsi Max.” “Screw that…” “But…it’s Maximum Taste, No Sugar…” Another elbow rocks Janus back, causing him to knock over the cans of Pepsi Max amongst other things as he again comes close to crashing through the table. “Well…damn.” sighs Riley. Backing up, Danny raises his right arm in the air seeking approval from the crowd, which he gets…and then some…before charging at Janus again… "GAAAAAAAAARH!” …but gets caught by the throat, and turned sharply towards the table! “Oh…NO! NO JANUS! DON’T DO IT!” With a roar of intensity, Janus hooks Danny by the tights and hoists him high in the air, while parts of the crowd begin screaming for him to stop… “OH GOD NOOO…” But Janus doesn’t stop… *CRAAAAAAAASSSSSSHHHHHHH!!!” …AND CHOKESLAMS THE WORLD CHAMPION THROUGH THE ANNOUNCE TABLE!!! “Oh…oh god. Janus has just decimated our World’s Champion. We need help out here for Danny!” The majority of the crowd are in stunned silence, as Janus reaches over and grabs Danny’s World Title belt from the timekeeper’s table…staring transfixed into it, as the camera focuses on Danny Williams in amongst the table wreckage… …perhaps his most dangerous challenge standing ominously over him… …as Lockdown fades to black.

Uh...what? A) They didn't steal the show, they had a decent match...and B) how does that prove they can have great matches with anyone, even if they did steal the show? It wasn't. It really wasn't. The main event SMOKED it. Again...how? Where were those spectacular matches when he was feuding with Booker? HOW!?! He has good chemistry with Jericho. He can put good matches on with him. Edge's matches with Angle were on a par with Y2J/XTain's matches. Doesn't prove squat. Two guys having consistant matches doesn't suddenly make them excellent wrestlers. There's a LOT more to it than that. Excellent wrestlers prove they can have good matches with 95% of their competition. Christian hasn't done that. Neither has Edge. Because Benoit and Bret were MASTERS on the mic. That doesn't have to mean much. Considering they have totally different characters, it's hard to compare. In E&C they were equals in terms of entertaining. That's the comparison. Edge had great matches in the SD6 way before Christian started having decent matches with Jericho. Sweet jebus. Christian carried Edge? That's why Edge was the one chosen to be IC Champ and KOTR, right? That's why Christian was always seen as the Jannetty of the team, right? That's why Christian got put in the UnAmericans while Edge was having great matches with the Benoits, Eddies and Angles. Entertainer? Probably. Wrestler? They're about even, and neither is that great without someone carring them. Yeah...that Booker feud was a SCORCHER! To conclude...you're probably right that Christian is better at the moment, all things considered. But your reasons leave a lot to be desired and make my brain hurt. Thanks.

Rico=face. Goldust was face towards the end of his run in 1997. Yes, the 'stopping short of hugging the guy' would make Cena seem PERFECTLY normal...right?

If you need a replacement, I could maybe manage a 4,000 word match. Oh...and isn't it the CRUISERWEIGHT Title. Thanks... Drury

Er, well, otherwise people could just create random threads of 'Paul London hits Sable, could be fired'...people would dicuss as if it was true and that could start doing the rounds of the 'net until the originator stopped it. Or it could just piss people off. See: 'Lance Storm fired' April Fools Joke. To your credit you did say 'rumour'. But still. Oh... and Fuck Bob Holly.

I call 'mid-show serious sit-down interview to pimp 13th Hour'. Or something. Oh...and marks for Danny vs. Grapplasaurus

I got no problem with Rico's act really, except when too much 'flesh' is shown. Trouble is, it's not being explained well enough. Tazz and Cole mention that 'Rico can wrestle when he wants to' and that he's a 'tough guy'. They should be saying that Rico's acting flamboyant simply to freak people out and to get people's attention. And they should emphasise that every chance they get. That way, the Rico character isn't simply a gay character...it's more one of a cunning wrestler. And Holly is a jackass anyway. It's not like his 'comments' are worth a dime, in the ring or out.

Looks a decent show...nothing stand-out except the main and the four team clusterfuck...but decent nonetheless. And I see Punk winning the title. Joe's had it for so long, and considering Punk's stuck with ROH through the TNA fiasco, it wouldn't surpise him to get a reward for it.

Agreed. The ECW route of no-name/lower level bands producing catchy songs (coupled with the odd 'Enter Sandman' of course) would be better than their current set-up. Some better entrance videos would be nice too, in an ideal world.

That's the thing. The Japan match was Sven's chance to test his best line-up. I know they weren't 100% into the game maybe and Sven made a bunch of substitutions... ...but the fact remains, the pre-tournament friendlies are the chance to show Europe what England can do. France are gonna watch that match and go in with so much confidence, because there's not enough in the England team to fear. The Japan draw's going to be more damaging physchologically than anything. Well, we did win Le Tournai before France '98.

OMG WORST SMAKCDOWN EVA~! It wouldn't be a spoiler thread without it. Anyone else get worried and think this was, you know...Good 'Ole JR. Classic vs. JR at The Bash. BAH GAWD, WHAT A SEPTIGENARIAN SLOBBAKNOCKA~!

England 1 Japan 1 I think that pretty much speaks volumes. The fact that the 25th ranked team in the world can expose us so easily makes me fear playing France. And that was our 'strongest side'. I'd be surprised to get past the second round now...I wouldn't be surprised not to make it out of the group stage.

Street Fighter 2, GBA. Old school, bitches! Oh, and Fire Pro for the GBA too.

So, you take the woman, turn it upside down and that gives you a man. Maybe he had an 'experience' with a shemale on the way to your workplace.

Looks pretty swank...especially the Pillman memorial match. My only problem is the Cage Match, seeing as the only distinguishing features of the match are already on Bloodbath. Still...Buy buy buy!

Anyone made the Ladder Match joke yet?