King Cucaracha

Erm...can somebody tell me exactly how I put italic and bold tags on words, and have them show up on the show. I double tagged the "ooooohhhs" and the *SMACK!*s and shit, but none of them showed up for some reason. Besides that, congrats to Danny and Janus on title wins and everyone else who won on not-title wins.

Well...I see an upside to my match, so w00t~!

Wow. Riise, Hyypia and Henchoz were bargains.

Like the ones during their match on Raw? the meant you were being sarcastic right? :s Certainly did. Hell, Orton was getting face heat from noticeable sections of the crowd.

So does face Funaki. OMG FUNAKI FOR CHAMPION~!

Meh. Best athlete...maybe. I just read it as athlete = wrestler. Still, you have guys like Steamboat, Owen, ReyRey and Hennig to rival RVD on athletisism.

Interesting. So, that'd probably be Cade or Coach v Eugene at Bad Blood.

Wait... They're wrong. Dead wrong. Which RVD/Haas match was 'excellent'. I must have only seen the half-decent ones.

Indeed. I still read the stuff over there semi-regularly, and you're still doing a great job between you. But you're still our WCW.

Like the ones during their match on Raw?

Well, I suspect we may have Regal/'Gene vs Cade/Coach at Bad Blood...or at least something similar involving some of those four. As for Rock/'Gene vs Cade/Coach...Rock's made his seasonal appearance. I wouldn't expect another anytime soon personally.

Well, there's the OAOAST...but they're kinda like our WCW.

Yeah, he's not Chris Benoit, so who gives a shit if the kid's career is finished. It's not like he had a five star match or fifteen standing ovations. Nobody said Nowinski was a great wrestler. The majority of people said he had potential and was decent as far as character and micwork went. If you had the courtesy to read posts before posting yourself, maybe you'd have realised that. The overall BUTT kissing is over whelming. That's what I've read. I DID say it was sad his career ended early on such a bad note, but I'm not gonna pretend I thought he was anything more than filler material. So who here said he wasn't filler material? If you've read 'BUTT-kissing', then I suggest you re-read, because the only post I'd call over-praising would be -iB-... Oh, what a surprise. Funny that, seeing as he's the guy you're flaming every other post.

In his particularly swank looking hotel room, all is not well in Triple Crown country. Pacing around the room, the be-draggled looking figure of Landon Maddix runs his hand through his hair in frustration...not for the first time in the day, judging from the unkept look it now has. Watching all this is Megan Skye, in a contrastingly relaxed position as she lounges back in a black leather chair holding a glass of champagne in her hand, and the SJL European Title on her lap. Landon meanwhile continues pacing...eventually turning around, to reveal a cellphone pressed to his ear and an impatient look on his face, clearly waiting for something. Or someone. "This is ridiculous..." Landon eventually mumbles under his breath. "...he must be back this time." "Landon...you need to calm down." Megan replies calmly. "All this stress is going to play havoc with your wrinkle lines." "Megan, Megan, Megan... ...really!?!" "Yeah, I read it in one of my magazines. Appar..." "Woah, hang on...Hello?" Landon obviously hears something on the other line and clasps the phone even tighter to his ear, until Megan motions for him to turn the volume up so she can hear. "Hello...who is this?" "It's Landon. Landon Maddix." "...La..." "Landon Maddix, USJL Triple Crown Champion." "Yeah, ok, I know that. How the hell did you get my home number!?!" It's clear now to most listening that the voice on the other side of the phone is that of Interim Commissioner Alexander Zenon. And for that matter, it doesn't sound like a pleasant voice. Not in the slightest. "I got it off your secretary." "God-damnit. I specifically told her not to give out this number." "Well, that was before I asked her out on a date...but...enough about that. Now I've finally reached you, I need to talk about something..." "Oh...marvellous." "Now..." "Give me two guesses. This is about Lockdown, right?" Landon sighs and nods...before realising Zenon can't actually SEE him nodding down a phone line. "Err...yes, yes, it is. I just got the card faxed through to me, and it says I'm in a hardcore match." "Yes..." "With three opponents..." "Yes..." "Aecas, Insane Luchador and Crow..." "Yes..." "And if I win that, I'm number one contender to the Hardcore Title." "Yes...and your problem is?" "MY PROBLEM IS!?!" Maddix yells down the phone. "Well, my problem is that Aecas wears black, and that totally clashes with my ring gear...WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK MY PROBLEM IS!?!" "Kindly stop shouting down the phone. I don't put up with it in person, so I'm not gonna put up with it pressed up against my ear. Now...I'm sensing you're angry. I guess you don't appreciate the fact that I booked you in a number one contendership match." "No, it's not that. Cruiserweight number one contendership. ICTV number one contendership. World Title number one contendership. Fine by me. Putting me in the ring with three masochistic psycho freaks and no rules isn't something I generally appreciate." "Come on Landon. Think about it...four titles? How could you not be excited about that? Think of the money and prestige you'd be gettings for that." "Right now, all I'm thinking about is week in and week out ass kicking if I become Hardcore Champion. If I make it that far. Hell, it wouldn't be surprising if I ended up getting injured. Then what Zenon? Then what? You've got an injured USJL Triple Crown Champion on your hands. And that won't do your ratings any good..." "That's just it Landon. This is why I'm doing all this...ratings!" "How?" "Well, you reckon you bring in ratings...and I have to agree. When you wrestle, we do seem to have quite solid ratings. But I think I know a way of bringing in MORE ratings. You see, the thing that will guarantee ratings more than watching you wrestle...is the prospect of seeing you become a human pin cushion for the night." Landon looks utterly shocked at Zenon's lack of subtelty...Megan too horrified at what she's just heard. "Face it kid. People don't like you. You're an ass." "Excu..." "Don't get me wrong, that's not a problem for me except when I'm around you. But you being an ass is great for ratings, because people will tune in to see you get your ass kicked. Just like they will on Smarkdown. It's nothing personal Landon. Strictly business." "I don't...I can't...you're really WANTING me to get hurt, aren't you?" "No...but the fans are." "The fans don't know WHAT they want! You listen to me Zenon...you can't do this to me. This is unfair treatment of an employee. I know a LOT of lawyers Zenon, so I'd watch how you treat me from now on." "Kid...don't make me laugh. You really think I'm scared of a bunch of lawyers?" "Fine...well...I just won't show up then." "Oh, if I were you I would. Breach of contract...failure to turn up for your job...there's quite a few punishments I could apply to that beauty. Fines. Suspensions. Stripping you of your precious belts." "You can't!" "Try me kid, I'm begging you." "No...really...you can't. I own two of these belts." Zenon seems to have stopped to think this over...and suddenly, a laugh comes from his end which catches Landon off guard. "Whatever kid. Listen...just be there on Smarkdown, or you will regret it. Oh...and one more thing. Don't ring me at home again..." And with that, Zenon abruptly hangs up before Landon can reply...leaving the USJL Triple Crown Champion shocked, mouth agape, at the verbal treatment he just recieved from the Interim Commissioner. Still, there's nothing he can do now, so he angrily ends the call and throws his cellphone onto the nearby couch, before turning to Megan...who quickly makes sure she looks interested. "Can you..." Landon stammers out, before stopping again and shaking his head. "...this is ridiculous! Ridiculous. It's not enough that my three opponents are masochists...the friggin' Commissioner is too!" "I...I think he dislikes you." Megan cautiously interrupts, as Landon tuts and puts on his best look of sarcasm. "You think!?!" Megan realises the dumbness of her suggestion and looks towards La Cucaracha apologeticly. "So...what are you going to do?" is her sheepish responce. "What can I do? I'll just show up and...kick their asses. I mean...I can do hardcore." Landon stops, mulling it over...possibly trying to convince himself of his own words. "I can use thumbtacks and glass tubes and...I dunno...ninja stars an' crap. I mean, my last real hardcore match was...was..." "Against Aecas." Megan answers. Landon suddenly looks worried, as he turns to Megan. "And I ended up in the hospital for days. He nearly killed me Megan. I know you know about that...I know you and Todd were having a great laugh back then at that. Just like Zenon's laughing at me now. Who am I kidding? I'm the guy who's idea of hardcore was hitting people with baguettes for crying out loud! I can't get in the ring with Luchador, Aecas and Crow with hardcore rules." "Relax...we can take a trip to a bakery before the show if you want." "Now is NOT the time for jokes." snaps Landon angrily. "Now is the time to start preparing my will!" "Aw, Landy...don't talk like that. Look, you've beaten Aecas before. You threw Luchador onto a bunch of thumbtacks the other week. And you can beat Crow. After all...you ARE the USJL Triple Crown Champion...right?" But Landon isn't really listening to the pep-talk...busy eyeing up the metal ice bucket holding his champagne...and the bottle itself. "Anything's a weapon when you're looking..." Landon mumbles thoughtfully. "Are you Ok Landon?" "Yeah...yeah, fine." Maddix says, putting back down the bucket and shaking off his sudden odd turn before walking over direction of the bathroom...en-suite of course. "Listen, Megan..." "Yeah..." "...I'll draw up the funeral plans tommorow." With another shake of the head, Maddix enters the bathroom, as Megan watches on in slight worry at the turn of events affecting her man.

Awe. Fucking. Some. That is all.

Yeah, he's not Chris Benoit, so who gives a shit if the kid's career is finished. It's not like he had a five star match or fifteen standing ovations. Nobody said Nowinski was a great wrestler. The majority of people said he had potential and was decent as far as character and micwork went. If you had the courtesy to read posts before posting yourself, maybe you'd have realised that.

Yes. Yes I can.

Some of the stuff Christiano Ronaldo did in the Cup Final was crazy. I mean, that 360 degree spin past two guys...you just don't do that. Well...except for Zidane. But still. He's one to watch next season. On the Smith subject...he's wasn't getting in the England squad regularly as a Premiership player. He didn't stand a chance as a Division 1 player. Same for Robinson. I can't blame them for leaving, or Smith for wanting European football next season.

Come on. Doug Basham doing the moonwalka nd wearing a mullet wig? Ratings gold! Didn't he pull a decent match out of Goldberg's hide as champ? Weren't the majority of his matches as champion half-decent or mostly better? Horrible is a pretty strong word, considering.

DDP wants back, Pritchard wants extreme gimmicks...The Bashams are vanilla... Freebirds 2004 anyone? Nah, me neither.

Here's hoping he gets a managerial role or something as talking and character was his strong point anyway. A modern day version of The Genius as someone else said wouldn't be too bad, as long as the similarities were subtle.

Don't worry Aec... ...I've been calling it 11th Hour for the past month. In other news...I've successfully wrote the least hardcore hardcore match of the year. But it has a good story. That'll be sent eventually...

They did give him the boost in the early stages (Strap Match, Raw Title change)...but after that, Triple H's success wasn't simply about Rock or Foley. I mean, obviously you could argue with it, because Rock was his opponent on PPVs for about 5 straight months. But HHH was more than just 'the other guy'. When was the last time you didn't post something that wasn't extremely negative? 'Cause I can't remember one instance where you have, and the constant doom foreshadowing is getting REALLY boring.

Either that, or a whole big bunch of nothing on Smackdown except Eddie, Taker and Dupree's Wang.

Weren't TWGGT on Velocity because they were returning from injuries? Or, is this another time-period we're talking about?