King Cucaracha

I can't believe people don't want to see Jeff Hardy back, so he can resume his engagingly natural partnership with Trish. That was guaranteed money!

Uh, no. Rotundo was consistantly BORING in the WWF. I could care less about his amateur stuff, because I never saw them, they were never mentioned, and he didn't really show it in the ring. Bradshaw isn't a good wrestler. I never said he was. But not everything has to come down to workrate, and amateur backgrounds, and how many different types of leg-bars a guy can use. That's great when it's done well, don't get me wrong. The stuff I saw from Rotundo for the majority wasn't.

He hasn't. But then again, the main reason is because he's been a tag team wrestler for the past 5 or 6 years. I can't remember the last time Bradshaw had a fifteen minute match, let alone a singles match that went 15 or over, and let alone a good one. That's why I wondered if he could go fifteen minutes.

Classic! Bill Busch has just taken over CZW. And he's a old school promoter. So out go B-Boy, Sonjay Dutt and the like... ...to make way for Jim Duggan, Dusty Rhodes, Kevin Sullivan, Mando Guerrero and a whole other bunch of OLD wrestlers. And their risk level has dropped to 20%. When CZW's Top 5 is New Jack, Dusty Rhodes, Jim Duggan, Mando Guerrero and Abdullah The Butcher...you just have to laugh.

Question is AS, do you think Bradshaw can go 15 minutes without either getting blown up or reverting to chinlock mode? If he had no wrestling skills he wouldn't be in a wrestling ring. I think what you mean is he's a brawler, not a workrate king. And we all know wrestling revolves around work-rate now-a-days. Mike Rotundo was a good wrestler? Bradshaw's APA 'smash-mouth' style was more entertaining than Rotundo. I can't remember a good match he had without DiBiase carrying him.

MAIN EVENT SINGLES MATCH, NON-TITLE Charlie "Grappler" Matthews© vs "Deathwish" Danny Williams SPECIAL GUEST COMMENTATOR: "The Notorious" John Duran --Can't go against the Grap...or against another Duran/Grap confrontation-- ICTV TITLE BOUT STRAP MATCH Toxxic© vs Janus --All about the Toxxicicity...-- TAG TEAM MATCH Ann "Ichiban" Onita/"The Superior One" Tom Flesher vs The House of Todd --No prediction, but my half's turned out ok so I'm hopeful. Well, no, I'm not cause it's Flesh and Annie. But, still--- MYSTICAL MYSTERY MAN MATCH SINGLES MATCH, NON-TITLE Alan Clark© vs ??? --The Real Alan Clark has brough the results so far, but the deadliness of the Triple M cannot be underestimated-- HARDCORE MATCH Dace Night vs Insane Luchadore --Somebody call the medics, cause they're going to be busy once Dace is done-- USJL TITLE BOUT TRIPLE IMPACT MATCH Stryke© vs Edward James --I'll go with the upset, and hope that I'll get another shot at the belt some time soon either way-- SINGLES MATCH Johnny Dangerous vs Aecas --Will he ever get his title shot? Will he screw up my plans with Alan for Battleground as a result? Will he win...yes, but it'll be close-- SINGLES MATCH Jacob Helmsely vs Austin Sly --This new kid seems pretty fly for a Sly guy... *ba - dom - psh!* ...so I'll go with him. Maybe he'll be the next Toxxic...--

If anyone can do it, Eddie can. I can't see it going above **1/2 myself though...

The HOLT Report on SWF Smarkdown April 5th 2004 Live from the Continental Airlines Arena in East Rutherford, New Jersey Report by Terry Gibson of New York City, Smartmarks.com reader Dark Matches: - Jacob Helmsley returned, and beat Xstasy in 7:28 after a lead pipe shot and then the Black Stallion. - Sacred beat John Aikmen at the 5:29 mark after the Cruel Fate. - After a quick commercial for Battleground, Mike Van Siclen came to the ring and basically said the same stuff he said on Lockdown about Wildchild. None too happy, Wildchild eventually came out and told Van Siclen to 'Put up, or shut up'... - Wildchild then beat Mike Van Siclen in 10:10 with a Wild Driver. - Johnny Dangerous beat Ash Ketchum in 15:46 with the MI Slam. Great match. - Aecas and Janus defended the SWF Tag Team Titles against 'Judge' William Hearford and Jamie Drazon in 9:25, after Aecas nailed Drazon with the Executioner...which is BRUTAL! Smarkdown: - Coy got a great reaction tonight...I think dropping the redneck-ness a little and getting serious has helped. - Hmm...Allison likes Flesher, but Annie doesn't. Maybe we'll finally get heel-Flesch back soon. I sure hope so, because these mixed reactions he's getting are really confusing. - IL got a nice reaction as he left...but the Unnamed arriving cut that off, which was kinda bad for the guy. Still, Todd brought out a great interview from somewhere, so it was all good. - ZENON!?! Wow. The crowd went friggin' nuts for the guy, and rightfully so. He did his speech which got a great reaction, and then left...Mark stayed around for a while though. He thanked the fans for their support in recent weeks, and promised that he WOULD be back...and after giving Zenon another vote of confidence, he then promised that when he came back everyone would know about it. A huge 'Come Back Soon!' chant got going for a while, but but Mark cut it off saying it'd be much better if they chanted his name. So, the huge chant became another huge chant...this time a 'Grand Slam' one, as Mark left. - Blanka? That's all I'm saying on the matter. - Two segments with Maddix in a row? Talk about shoving the guy down our throats. And, oh, it looks like he's channeling the spirit of Ric Flair. Only for Zenon to promptly own him. It worked, because the crowd were loving Zenon for it. - After Zenon and Mark's segmenet, and the show went off the air, Grappler, Coy and Clark remained in the ring. Grap grabbed the mic and called Duran out, saying that they didn't have to wait until Battleground. Which was funny, seeing as I don't think any match has been announced. Oh well. It's obvious anyway. Well, Duran came out and slowly walked down the ramp...but Todd and Landon decided to run out from behind, through the crowd. Grap took a chair shot from Todd, but Coy and Clark quickly took the House out. Grap then promptly no sold the chair shot, and joined in as Todd and Landon got destroyed. Duran decided not to help out his buddies, as Grap nailed them both with the Wake-Up Call...and then ran after Duran, leaving Coy and Clark to soak up the crowd's cheers for a while. Biggest Pops: 1. Mark Stevens 2. Alexander Zenon 3. Charlie Matthews 4. Coy West 5. Danny Williams Biggest Heat: 1. John Duran 2. Toxxic 3. Landon Maddix 4. Todd Royal 5. Stryke

Oh, certainly. But then again, most of thos wouldn't get the attention Eugene will. The sad fact is, Eugene probably got more mentions on Raw than Benoit. And the sadder fact is a gimmick like this will probably be higher on Vince's priority list than them too.

I agree with you AS, but from the WWE point of view...would Mr Wrestling have got the same kind of dumb pop Eugene did on Raw? And how would you get a 'Mr Wrestling' persona over on a show where midcard matches last a maximum of 5 minutes? What I don't agree with is the 'insulting our intelligence' claims. If I see a guy acting like a retard on Raw, I don't think 'wow, this is insulting my intelligence...let's turn over'. It's a lower-midcard gimmick designed to get cheap pops, and to give Vinnie Mac and his creative buddies some d-grade humour. It's the fact we're intelligent that makes it less insulting, because we know it's a gimmick. If you feel your intelligence is being insulted by that, then...well, what can I say? A dumb, comedy gimmick now and then in the midcard doesn't hurt anyone really.

Huzzah! Err...yeah...back on topic. Rando, brah (sheesh, I like ONE Eminem song and suddenly I'm calling people 'brah')...what can I say? Coy and Grap stole your limelight. Taamo...I'll see about a tweeners list. It'll be a close call between you and Funyon though...

Wasn't there talk of Spanky coming in eventually, once the WWE dumped him?

I agree with the Bradshaw 'nomination'. Certainly a series of steps up from the "I Likes Drinkin'" look he had pre-heel turn. And Angle should not be wearing grey suits.

Looking good Graps. Nice to see you bringing teh comedy too, as you should with something as ripe for humour as WCW 2001.

I can't get used to Angle as GM. Not least evil GM. I'm not sure why, I just don't like him in the role. Maybe it's not suited to him. His segments don't seem as impassioned as usual, that's for sure. Still, it's only been a couple of weeks, so he'll still need to time settle in fully I guess.

To be honest, I wasn't ecstatic about my match either. Considering I've only really liked three of my matches that I've ever wrote, that's not saying much. But I agree with the tag format being slightly off in both matches. Still, I enjoyed your six man guys...and the Danny/Dace tag match too, which was very solid IMO.

ouch. Oh, and *marks out for Grappler/Danny*

Awesome show...of course, I was in four segments one way or another, so it was never going to be anything but awesome. Better get on with the HOLT I guess...

The HOLT Report on SWF Lockdown March 27th, 2004 Live from the Wichova Center in Philadelphia Pennsylvania Report by Bradley Spires of Allentown PA, Smartmarks.com reader Dark Matches: - Jimmy 'The Demon' Liston beat "Big" John Quinn (who was a 'lumberjack'...okaaay) in 5:37 with the Descent. - 'Judge Mental' William Hearford defeated Craig Scheet in 9:27 after the Surprise Witness. - Next up, Jamie Drazon walked out and started talking about how he is a hardcore maniac, and how he should be on the the most hardcore SWF show in recent memory...you know, basic whiney promo. He doesn't have a match of course, so instead Drazon issued an open challenge to anyone in the locker room...and said that no matter who it is, he'd enjoy hurting them. So imagine how FRIGGIN NUTS~! the crowd went after In Flame’s “Jester’s Dance” hit, and out came DANNY WILLIAMS~! With chants of "DAN - E!" erupting through the arena, Danny DESTROYED Drazen in just 4:02, making him submit to the Buffalo Sleeperhold. - They played a video for Battleground, which heavily featured John Duran and Charlie Matthews. Hmm... - The Memphis Eel beat 'El Hombre Sin Cara Maskarade' after 7:28, with a piledriver. Major heel heat for the Eel... - A promo informing us Jacob Helmsley would soon return played. Let the pipe beatings begin...well...again. - Sacred beat Michael Craven and Xstasy in a three way dance. Xstasy was pinned first in 8:22, before Craven went at 12:04. Lockdown: - The crowd weren't sure how to react to Mike Van Siclen pretending he's not a jobber? Hmm, whatever. - The Eel got some more solid heel heat tonight. As much as he sucks, you've got to respect a man who dresses like Elvis and carries around a fly-swatter, while still maintaining some sort of dignity. Funny start to IL/Toxxic, because one of the cars they smashed into was owned by a guy in front of me. Needless to say he was pissed. - Wild and Dangerous got a nice reception after their match was over...I think some people thought it may have been Wildchild's swansong. Especially considering what happened when Justice and Rule lost the belts. They left together, but didn't look too happy about what happened... - Is Flesher a heel or a face. I sure don't know, and I doubt many of the other fans knew either. - While they were setting up the cage, another one of those Jacob Helmsley promos was played. They seem to be making a big deal over his return... - What was up with the shock wins tonight? Janus and Aecas taking the Tag Titles? Stryke as USJL Champion? Todd making Duran tap out? Clark...sorry, Bloodshed...beating Dace. By the time Grappler came out, we were all worried that Maddix kid would actually become the World Champion! Thankfully he didn't. Could you IMAGINE him as champion? Sheesh! - Of note...Landon did a stretcher job after his match, with the rest of The Unnamed coming out to help guide him out of the arena. Duran was cursing Grappler's name over and over, while Megan seemed in hysterics. Dumb blonde. Biggest Pops: 1. Charlie Matthews 2. Danny Williams 3. Coy West 4. Bloodshed Clark 5. The Unholy Trinity Biggest Heat: 1. John Duran/Todd Royal (joint) 2. The Memphis Eel 3. Landon Maddix 4. Stryke 5. Toxxic

RAW World: Triple H IC: Shelton Benjamin Tag: Edge and Benoit (after their singles pushes are forgotten about) Womens: Molly SMACKDOWN World: Big Show US: Dupree Tag: Dudleys Cruiser: Mysterio

Or you could just do what I'd do. Beg off, offer 'him' some raw meat...lowblow, roll-up, feet on the ropes and thank you very much.

Hey Rando... Jimmy Snuka wants a word with you. Not to mention the legend that is Haku.

That's disgusting! Also forgot to mention Kane. Yes, I'm a Kanenite. Oh, the irony. Right now Eddie Guerrero'd be my favorite wrestler over Benoit, purely for what he's been through. And the fact he's more interesting to watch, in the ring and out of course. Honorable mentions to Chavo Snr and Rosey for being entertaining when they really have no right to be.

O'Haire was getting decent crowd reactions in those Velocity jobber squashes he was doing. Ah well.

I concur. Anyway...looks good so far from where I'm sitting. I'm interested in seeing how this character works and develops...and hopefully you'll have success here, because I'm seeing potential.