King Cucaracha

Brand new at [b]OAOAST.com[/b] [SIZE=4][COLOR=green][b]ZERO HOUR 2008~![/b][/COLOR][/SIZE] on DVD! [IMG=http://i261.photobucket.com/albums/ii59/KingCucaracha/ZHdvd.jpg] [b]Featuring:[/b] The Entire Show, in Technicolor! [b]Plus:[/b] [list] [*][b]Bonus Audio Commentary Track[/b]- [i]Featuring Melody Nerdly, Josh Matthews and various special guests[/i] [*][b]Show Before The Show Match[/b]: James Blonde vs. Jamie O'Hara [*][b]The Recording Of The Zero Hour Opening Hijinks[/b] [*][b]Post Match Interviews[/b] [i]w/Reject and Thunderkid, Jade Rodez-Duncan, Megan Skye, Krista Isadora Duncan, Mr. Dick, Brock Ausstin, Sandman9000, Alfdogg, Tha Puerto Rican[/i] [*][b]Pre Show Interviews[/b] [i]w/Team Heyross, Mr. Dick[/i] [*][b]The HeldDOWN PoseDOWN[/b]- [i](HeldDOWN~!, 9/18)[/i] [*][b]Thunderkid and Reject vs. Team Heyross[/b]- [i](HeldDOWN~!, 9/7)[/i] [*][b]Alfdogg vs. Colombian Heat[/b]- [i](HeldDOWN~!, 9/18)[/i] [*][b]Exclusive OAOAST No Homo Video Game Trailer[/b] [/list] [b]ORDER NOW![/b]

You could do what I did with the NFL, stick names of all the teams in a hat and pick one at random. Of course with 92 league teams you run the risk of pulling a team who are terrible and you'll never be able to see play, so you'd probably want to narrow it down a little.

I actually don't mind this Rumble, even with it being every bit as predictable as 1995's outcome. Enough memorable moments to make it worthwhile, although it gets over-crowded a couple of times which always hurts it. Jericho came out from under the ring in '03, that's about the closest I think. Other memorable moments, the Vader Bomb with Luna on his back always looked fantastic. Tyson not knowing Austin's name. And who can forget Sunny being unable to leapfrog Max Mini?

When Venk said he'd including two guys with 'King' in their name in his nominations, I thought for sure I'd made it out of obscurity. You sold me out motherfucker.

I always thought that arguement was bogus until I actually tried it. Really no reason not to just switch to diet. Now regular just taste like sugary syrup to me.

The hell is a Smarks Junior League? The SJL was the OVW to the SWF's WWE until slow activity forced us to close it. It's nothing more than an archive now. You could throw everything SJL into the SWF folder, I guess, but I'm no spokesman. What he said. At this point it's basically like the classic threads folder, there for posterity (just not quite so classic). SJL could probably be merged with the Community folder, since one's archive and the other doesn't get too much traffic. I actually had to check what it was called, that's how often I use it. Unless you just picked the deadest folder on a whim and weren't serious. Whatever. As far as this controversy goes, Other to Gen Wrestling makes the most sense. As someone who actually pays attention to these Other promotions, I generally speaking talked about it on boards associated with those promotions. I'm sure I'm not the only one, because certain important threads'd have ten people commenting, then nothing for about a month. For me, TNA should probably stay it's own folder for the time being. There's enough new threads week to week that it'd clutter another folder.

I've got an exercise bike with a right pedal missing a strap. Unless it magically re-attached in the six months since I last glanced at it. Still makes a good clothes stand though. Oh yeah, 5'9, 180.

Did you hit him in the face with the strap after he threatened to kill you? If not, that might explain why he said it.

Done.

Benoit is mentioned regularly on Disk 2. I got the Guerrero set two days ago, Disk one is excellent, Disk two is nothing special (but does that the parking lot brawl and title win, as well as all the Los Guerreros vignettes and a neat little LG/Team Angle match. Disk Three I haven't started yet. Yeah, I'm noticing more and more. I'm also not on Disk 3 yet. Eddie/RVD from Backlash is a really great match, even if JR sounds like he could care less for some reason for the first half. Eddie/Chavo RR04 is one of my most disappointing matches ever. Hated it on first viewing, thought maybe it'd be better than I remembered but no. I know they were trying to tell a story but it wasn't one anyone wanted to see. The sad part of the set is how many instances there are where the higher the match quality, the quieter the crowd. Jericho says as much for his match (WCW one), but the crowd is almost as dead during the Ultimo match and both Backlash matches are pretty quiet too.

Do you watch ECW? Jack Swagger is awesome. And Matt Hardy's reign was getting boring, with him facing the same opponent (Mark Henry) two matches out of three. Plus, Matt needed to get rid of the title so that he could be more involved in the Jeff/Edge/mystery attacker storyline. Swagger was the best man to transition the belt to. I do (did) and he's not. I like to think I'm someone who doesn't run down wrestlers often, even ones I don't particularly like watching. There's just something... well, a lot of things... that I can't stand about Swagger, which I've laid out in previous ECW threads. Such as: Disagree. The singlet is bush league and half the time his eyes look glazed over and clueless. Unless you meant the build, in which case, *shrugs*. What is the gimmick exactly, because I swear I haven't been able to figure it out. I've got as far as him being an All American, in which case he's about 8th in line to the throne as far as that gimmick. The smile is awful and has nothing to do with anything. The chest pound he does when he comes out is awful and has nothing to do with anything. He's basically an amateur wrestler with a few random pro-wrestler taunts. If that constitutes a gimmick then lord help us. I'll admit he's improving. The first few weeks he looked completely lost except between the bells. Very good worker is definately stretching it though. He knows a few amateur throws and that's about it. I can watch a Shelton Benjamin match and get the same thing, only more polished. He probably will be a big star because he's someone's pet project. As far as earning it, he's got a long way to go. To me, he just screams 'green' outside of the amateur wrestling stuff. I pretty sure I could, name 500 wrestlers I'd rather see as ECW Champion than Jack Swagger. If Hardy needed to drop the ECW Title to be involved in a main-event storyline, surely he could have done it in a better way than losing to the greenest guy on the entire roster? I'm all for putting young guys over, but this was way, WAY too soon. It's like if Lesnar had beaten Rock 3 years earlier than he did. Jack Swagger vs. Tommy Dreamer in 2009 would be low standards for a European Title feud, let alone a supposed World Title. I... can't express how awful this all is to me. I need to lie down.

I'd like this to open please. Mr. Dick w/Malaysia vs. Baron Windels

The SWF presents... A SIDE EFFECT OF GLOBAL WARMING LIVE to DVD from The FedEx Forum in Memphis, Tennessee 7pm EST, TUESDAY, 10TH FEBRUARY Now, a more pessimistic person may be looking at the show title, taking a glance outside of their window to see perhaps ice or a light covering of snow across their front path and be thinking "phhf, Global Warming my frozen ass, ain't nothin' warm about my part of the globe Gore!". But I'm reliably informed by my closest hippy source, Toxxic, that Global Warming is also responsible for making certain parts of the globe colder. Go figure. In which case, they really ought to think about changing the term Global Warming. It's in the name, eggheads. Anyway, while we're all supposed to be saddened to tears by the plight of some polar bear tippy-toeing around trying not to wind up plunging into the sea (you'd think they'd appreciate a little rise in temperature where they're at, huh? I sure would.), the effects of global warming are far more close to home! I'm not sure what this has to do with the show exactly. But if Global Warming can make the globe colder, I'm sure it could do something wacky like produce a wrestling show out of thin air too. SWF WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP WRESTLING CLINIC RULES Va'aiga © vs. Tod James Stuart The first show of the New Year has broken the ice (PUN COUNT- 1) and now it's time to get down to the serious business of the World Heavyweight Championship. At the aforementioned 2009 opener, Tod James Stuart proved the man with the staying power to capture the Cold Front (UNINTENTIONAL PUN COUNT- 1) Classic crowd by defeating Taiga Star in the finals. 2009 is already looking to harbour hot prospects (UNINTENTIONAL PUN COUNT- 2) for TJS, with number one contenderships earned for both the Tag Team Titles and the World Heavyweight Title. The tag title concerns go on the backburner for now though as we prepare for the first World Title defence of 2009. By winning the Cold Front Classic, Tod James Stuart not only put himself in line for the World Title but put himself in prime position to take the title. Not just a title shot, but in a match of his choosing. And with Va'aiga licking his wounds from a pub beating Steve Gerrard'd be proud of, there may be no better time or opportunity for Tod to play his trump card. That being, 'Wrestling Clinic Rules'. The question is will Va'aiga become an honourary Wrestling Clinic student for the night, or will the Angry Maori be putting Tod in a whole different type of clinic, one that specialises in re-attaching jaws? If it's the latter, hopefully we'll have enough unmelted ice lying around to treat the injuries. (INTENTIONAL PUN COUNT- 2!) Word Limit: 6500 Rules: Wrestling Clinic Rules, which I'm reliably informed will be explained in due course. Send To: King Cucaracha NON TITLE TAG TUSSLE The Breslins © vs. Slaughterhouse Five Tag Team Champions Luke and Leo Breslin are on a heck of a roll as everyone up to and including World Champion Va'aiga will attest to. While the going's good, they're looking for more competition. (Re-)Enter Slaughterhouse Five. The on-off tandem of former World Heavyweight Champion Michael Alexander and MANSON, who hooked up with new manager James Matheson at the New Year's Party. Hey, we've all been there at parties once the booze has been flowing long enough, amirite? I kid, of course. Matheson is now leading MANSON on what he vows will be a wave of destruction. And while Dance Dance Dragon remains in their sights, linking MANSON up with old friend Alexander and shaking up the tag team scene could prove pretty lucrative in it's own right. A win over the Champs would do that for sure. Especially given their recent performances. Matheson has promised a "change of the SWF climate" at MANSON's hands. Which is more powerful, Global Warming or MANSONOSITY~! I think we all know the answer to that one. Who will win this tag title match? Not such an easy call. Word Limit: 5500 Rules: Standard Tag Send To: Toxxic UNORTHODOX BATTLE OF THE SEXES Taiga Star © vs. Big Bully Bruner After coming up just short in the Cold Front Classic, the SWF Cruiserweight Champion faces another tough test ahead of her outside of her weight class. Taiga is used to facing opponents bigger and more powerful than her. But probably none so big or powerful as this, as she takes on a man Michael Cole would surely refer to as a bully. Infact, we all would, since that's his name. That or Mister Bruner. Although, if you're smart, you'd call him whatever he told you to call him, no questions asked. After this match, he'll be hoping to be called only one thing, 'a winner'. If nothing else this match should provide an answer to the age old question "does size matter". And possibly, the not quite so old question "do females bounce?" Word Limit: 5000 Rules: Standard Singles Send To: King Cucaracha DANCE DANCE DANCEOFF~! Thoth w/Nathaniel Kibagami vs. Dance Dance Dragon Referee: Ced Ordonez Nothing, not even the looming threat of global warming, could diminish Dance Dance Dragon's love of dance. And if it could, I'm not sure that's a world I'd want to live in. One man who hasn't had much to dance about lately is Thoth. The only dance he may be doing at the moment is the war dance with his recent record. All is not well with Thoth. All may not be well with his 'interesting' alliance with Nathaniel Kibagami either. Will a good, old-times DANCEOFF~! lighten his mood? Probably not. But it's worth a try. Word Limit: 5000 Rules: Standard Singles Send To: Toxxic (send all marked matches, promos etc to King Cucaracha)

So, this wasn't a gag. They really did have Jack Swagger win the ECW Title. From Matt Hardy. Good God.

FWIW, NYS ME is done.

Except the entire basis of the MEM is that they don't want to give their main event spots away to younger talent.

1. Will we ever see Randy Savage in the world of professional wrestling again? Even in a non wrestling capacity (say getting inducted into a certain Hall of Fame)? Or do you think he's the rare case of a wrestler who saved his money over his career and is content in retirement? If we haven't seen him in the WWE for this long, the chances we'll see him again are pretty slim. I could see a posthumous HOF induction, perhaps. 2. Do you think his sterling WWF heyday was in anyway tarnished by his mostly mediocre WCW (Post DDP feud) and TNA runs? Has it been tarnished by the rumors regarding his WWF departure that sprang up after his retirement? Maybe a little. His WCW days weren't so bad if you're factoring in the NWO era. But the 1999 run with Sid won't be making it onto many highlight reels. Memorable only for the amusingly bad 'What Up Mach?' theme music. His TNA run really did him no favours. I don't know as that really 'tarnished' his reputation, but it didn't leave him going out on top form either. Since then he's obviously become more of a figure of speculation than a symbol of wrestling ability. If anything tarnished his legacy though it was the rap album and the 'feud' with Hogan. 3. Where would Savage rank in a list of The Greatest of His Era? Greatest of All Time? Right up there as far as greatest of his era, that being the late 80s, early 90s. He's probably on the second-tier of 'greatest of all time' because people will say he was never really a headline draw. 'Greatest workers of all time', he'd probably be up there too. 4. Don't usually like to divulge in this type of gossip but what are your thoughts on the rumors RE: Savage's estrangement from WWE? Is it a result of his unreasonable demands? A result of an affair with Stephanie? Savage just being content in retirement? Something entirely different? There's clearly something strange there. 5. Favorite moments, matches, etc. Favourite matches, I guess everybody's drawn to WMIII, but personally I'd go with WMV vs. Hogan and WMVIII vs. Flair. The WMVII moment with Elizabeth. The feud with Hogan, ie. the first one in 88, still one of my favourite ever. Got to love his commentary stint too. He could stretch a two syllable word into triple it's size like no oooooootthhhhheeeerrr, YEAH! EDIT: I just remembered, there was a segment before KOTR '94 where he's explaining his predictions for who's going to win that always cracked me up.

I'm watching Disk 2 of Eddie's new set and I've heard Chris Benoit's name twice in two matches. Did I miss a memo about them relaxing the ban?

I don't know about anyone else, but I've already started referring to it officially and concisely as "The Victory" in honour of our friend Michael Cole. I just hope it sticks. It's like a Victory Roll, only more successful.

Why is everybody so desperate for show to dissolve and rosters to get merged. Last time I checked business was doing okay, no? Did I miss the sudden reason to panic about the current state of the company, or has it been 3 months already since the last time somebody said they should end the draft split (this arguement founded, 2002)?

If you guys haven't told Alf about your Lethal Rumble plans yet... well, do it. That shit doesn't write itself over a weekend you know. Trust me.

Well, looks like I won't be watching ECW for a while.

Well, it has it's plusses, but I'm sure there's something to be said for supporting a team where success isn't expected and means more when it happens.

It's even more flames now... if that's proper grammar... if that really even matters... because all my stuff's in. CI stuff, Krista stuff, Jade stuff, even a match!

We return to HeldDOWN~!, and "Smells Like Teen Spirit" greets viewers as we return to action, with the OAOAST Original and obvious choice for the OAOAST Hall of Fame CWM heading to the ring for a match against another Original, perhaps the most popular man in OAOAST history. COLE It was a shocking night here on HeldDOWN~! as CWM made his presence felt after quite some time away from the ring. After verbally sparring with Zack Malibu about Malibu's role in the federation, CWM has now taken to acting as Theodore Moneymaker's bounty hunter, looking to get back on his feet by accepting a payoff to take Zack Malibu out for the rich superstar! CWM paces the ring, and does not look happy with "Getting Away With Murder" booms over the PA system. COACH Here comes the cheap hometown pop! The pop is anything but cheap, but it's loud as the crowd at the Dunkin' Donuts Center is extremely vocal and happy to see their hero, ZACK MALIBU, heading down to the ring! Malibu heads to the ring amidst the cheers of his hometown supporters, but as he climbs up onto the apron, CWM charges and knocks him off, sending Zack flying to the floor! COLE Here we go! CWM jumps out of the ring, wasting no time in attacking Zack! He works him over, hammering him as Zack tries to come up off the floor, which he finally does, bursting with a flurry of punches that stagger his longtime rival! CWM starts firing back, back Zack up as he jabs him several times, then he takes Zack by the head and runs him towards the steps...but Zack puts his leg up to block! CWM's head then gets a taste of the metal, and as he stumbles against the railing, he then finds himself sent into the sea of fans, as Zack clotheslines him over the guardrail! COACH Oh sure, bring him out into the crowd where Zack's boys can help him! COLE Boys? Zack doesn't have "boys", Coach! Zack picks CWM up, and rocks him with two hard right hands before getting kneed in the gut, then dumped over the rail! CWM looks unimpressed, and the fans don't look all that happy with him as he climbs back over the railing and puts the boots to Zack! COACH Atta boy, CWM! Earn that dough! CWM brings Zack up to his feet, then sends him crashing into the guardrail before attacking with more closed fists! Referee Nick Patrick hasn't even rung the bell yet, and these two are still brawling all around ringside! CWM leads Zack around the ring, and then WHAM!...slams him headfirst into the commentators table at Sofa Cental, causing Coach to shriek like a girl! COACH EEEEEEEEEEP! COLE What...WHAT was that, Coach? COACH He, they...I got caught off guard, OK! CWM watches as Zack collapses to the floor, then pulls up a strand of cable wire used for the various cameras and monitors at ringside...AND STARTS CHOKING ZACK OUT WITH IT! COLE C'mon ref! COACH C'mon ref what? This ain't even a match yet, Mikey! Malibu gurgles, trying not to choke on his own tongue as CWM tries choking him out, looking to live up to the promise to Theodore Moneymaker that he will eliminate Zack! Nick Patrick scrambles to get CWM off of Zack, but CWM turns around and shoves Patrick down, not happy that the senior official put his hands on him! COLE Watch out Nick Patrick! CWM glares at the ref before turning his attention to Zack, who is yanking the cord from around his neck. CWM tries to get him up, but Zack shoulders him in the ribs, then takes him and hurls his head into the side of Sofa Central! CWM drops to the floor, holding his head, and as he comes up Malibu charges, nailing him with a spear! Zack then sits atop CWM, pummeling him with elbows that CWM desperately tries to block. Zack then brings him up and rolls him into the ring, and finally Nick Patrick calls for the bell! DING! DING! DING! With CWM dazed, Zack climbs up the ropes, launching himself into the ring for the first time in this contest with a cross bodyblock, crashing into CWM and bringing him to the canvas for a pin! ONE! T-KICKOUT! Nick Patrick barely made it into the ring in time for that one, but CWM kicked out anyways, not about to be defeated so quickly. Zack brings him up and sends him to the ropes, trying for a hiptoss, but CWM counters it, and tries to counter with a POLLYCUTTER~!, but Zack shoves him to the ropes and this time gets his hiptoss! Zack rushes up behind CWM and tries to use a German, but CWM blocks it by elbowing Zack, then using a jawbreaker on the Preppy One! Zack is rattled, and CWM hits the ropes and comes off with a hard lariat that puts Zack down! CWM covers... ONE! TW-NO! ...but Zack kicks out! COLE You can sense the need, the desperation that CWM has to beat Zack Malibu tonight. He claimed that Zack was doing a bad job at taking up the mantle for the rest of the OAOAST Originals, but now he's got the added incentive of a payoff from Theodore Moneymaker to make him seek victory! CWM brings Zack up and pushes him into the corner, then connects with a running shoulderblock to the ribs that knocks the wind out of Zack! Repeated shoulderblocks follow, and CWM sends Zack across the ring into the far corner, but as he follows him in, he runs right into Zack's boot! CWM staggers, and Zack hops up on the middle rope, then leaps off with a flying European uppercut, waylaying the Nirvana obsessed star! Now it's Zack's turn to cover... ONE! TWO! NO! ...but CWM kicks out of that, still motivated by greed and envy long enough to want to do battle some more. Zack pulls him up, but CWM yanks on Zack's waistband and sends him through the ropes...but Zack catches himself on the apron! He pulls himself up and springboards in, looking to nail CWM with a missle dropkick, but CWM swats him down! Zack aches as he rises up, hurting from the crash landing, and CWM again hits the ropes, getting momentum behind him as he brings Zack's head down with a bulldog! Again he covers, and again Nick Patrick makes the count! ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! COLE CWM keeps trying, keeps hoping that one of those big moves will get him the pin! COACH And one of them will, Mikey Cole. Zack's too confident tonight, more than ever being here in Providence. He's going to fall, and he's going to fall HARD! CWM gets up and puts the boots to Zack, stomping away at his old foe. He pulls him up and sends him to the ropes, but Zack counters on the rebound with a leaping lariat, wiping CWM out, much to the enjoyment of the fans! Both men lay on the mat, looking to gather themselves, and both come up at roughly the same time. Malibu gets to his feet, just in time to see a Canadian freight train racing towards him! At the last second, Malibu rolls out of the way, and CWM crashes his sternum into the top turnbuckle! As he staggers back, Malibu catches him, and then heaves him over his shoulder with a release German suplex! COLE CWM might not need a flight home, because Zack nearly just launched him all the way back to BC! The former aWo member is startled as he comes to his feet, right as Malibu is reaching for him. CWM finds himself shot into the corner once again, and Malibu follows up with a running corner clothesline, smashing hard into his rival! Zack then takes him by the head and leads him across the ring, ramming his head into the top turnbuckle, and as he backs off, Zack hits the ropes and connects with a spinning wheel kick that takes the Cobain worshipper off his feet! "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Fired up, Malibu gets to his feet and brings CWM back up, backing him to the ropes. He fires him off to the other side, but he reverses and swings Malibu across the ring. Zack comes back and gets snatched, but as CWM swings around with a powerslam, Malibu counters with a deep arm drag! Both men pick themselves up simultaneously, and when they do, Malibu cracks him with a hard chop across the chest! A second one follows, and then a European uppercut knocks him against the ropes! CWM bounces back, cracking Malibu with a pair of hard rights, then kicks him in the stomach and carries him over with a snap suplex! CWM sits up and scowls, looking out to the crowd as they begin booing him again, hating the fact that he's once again taking the advantage over their favorite son. COACH Stupid hometown fans, don't know a real talent when they see it! CWM rolls to his feet, bringing Malibu up with him, and this time places him in a standing headscissors, hoisting him up for a failed powerbomb attempt, as Malibu floats through! Zack lands on his feet in front of him, and works him over with a rapid fire flurry of open hand shots, backing him to the ropes once more...but this time when Malibu sends him to the ropes CWM swings the momentum back to his favor by putting on the brakes and yanking Malibu into an overhead belly to belly suplex! "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!" COLE Malibu's normally the Master of the Suplex, but it looks like CWM took a page out of his book on that one! CWM crawls over and covers again, hooking the leg while barking orders at Nick Patrick to make the count! ONE! TWO! TH-NO! KICKOUT! CWM pounds the mat in anger, then gets up and gets in Nick Patrick's face about the count, accusing him of favortism towards Malibu! Patrick does not take this kindly, and responds that he's making the count just as he normally would. CWM persists, continuing to argue that he should have won with that last fall, but his persistence is his downfall, as a groggy Malibu comes up behind him, and takes him over with a German suplex! COLE This is not where CWM wants to be! Zack rolls them to their feet, and a second German follows, followed by a third, then a fourth, then a FIFTH, then a SIXTH, and then lucky number seven sees a high angle release German suplex that sends CWM sailing face first to the canvas! Malibu collapses, both men are down, and the fans are at a fever pitch! Zack crawsl over to CWM and rolls him onto his back, and hooks a leg for good measure. ONE! TWO! THR-NO! NO! SHOULDER UP! COACH Yeah, boy! C'mon, that bank account can grow, all you gots to do it take this preppy mofo out! Zack comes up, and looks to bring CWM up with him, but CWM pulls him down into a small package, looking for a flash pin! ONE! TWO! THR-KICKOUT! ZACK KICKS OUT! COLE Such a close call! Both men come up, and CWM quickly drives a boot into Zack's gut, then spikes him with a HUGE DDT, dropping Zack right on the top of his head! With Zack laid out, CWM heads out to the apron and looks to climb the ropes, looking for the coup de grace of this contest. COACH This is it, Mikey, I can feel it! CWM gets to the top, and doesn't take much time to leap into the air, coming down with an elbow to drive into the sternum of Zack Malibu...but at the last second, Zack moves out of the way, and CWM's elbow rams into the canvas! COLE Zack moved! COACH Really, did he? I was unaware! CWM kicks around on the canvas, having come up short and now filled with agony. Zack slowly comes up, and eyes CWM, bracing himself for a counter attack. Zack remains in the ready position, waiting for CWM to get to his feet, because when he does...SCHOOL'S OUT! NO! IT'S CAUGHT! CWM catches the foot and throws it down, then hooks Zack for a POLLYCUTTER~!...BUT ZACK COUNTERS THAT WITH AN ANGLE SLAM~! COVER~! ONE! TWO! THREE! DING! DING! DING! COLE HE GOT HIM! Zack Malibu has defeated CWM! COACH Bah! Providence, Rhode Island erupts with cheers, as "Getting Away With Murder" plays loudly inside the Dunkin' Donuts Center. That's still not enough to drown out the cheers, however, as the hometown hero has successfully defended his honor against one of his legendary peers. COLE CWM came out of hiding, unhappy with Zack's role as the OAOAST's protector, then wound up selling out, only to come up short! COACH I don't think Mr. Moneymaker is going to be too happy about this! As Zack celebrates, Moneymaker makes his way out, storming down the aisleway looking displeased. He slides into the ring, as CWM is coming to his feet, and pushes the veteran into the corner, slapping him repeatedly and berating him verbally. CWM refuses to take that, however, and despite being a bit worse for wear, he shoves Moneymaker off, and cocks his fist, ready to fight! COLE Look at this, CWM is ready to fight! Moneymaker laughs at this, and then removes his jacket. He waves CWM on, but CWM hesitates. Moneymaker waves him on again, only to be BLASTED~! with a SCHOOL'S OUT FROM ZACK MALIBU~! COACH WHAT THE HELL!?!? COLE Theodore Moneymaker, I believe you have just been served, sir! Zack looks down at Moneymaker, then at CWM. They two eye each other and look like they're about to come to blows again, but then CWM bows out, ducking through the ropes and then hopping the rail, exiting the building through the crowd rather than the aisleway. COLE CWM arrives out of nowhere, and just like that he disappears into the night after a hard fought battle, trying to reclaim some of that lost glory against Zack Malibu, and...wait, what's this? Zack has the mic! Malibu takes the mic from Michael Buffer, and standing over a fallen Moneymaker, starts to speak. ZACK Moneymaker, it seems to me that we're just going to keep running around in circles, trying to get rid of each other. I've been sick of you for a long time, and I've about had it. The cowardice, the bribery, the running and avoiding is all going to come to an end, because this time I made a deal that even you can't top. Moneymaker, only now starting to come to, starts to roll on the canvas, so Zack yanks him up by the collar of his shirt and sets him in the corner. ZACK So here's the deal, Moneymaker. You did beat me last week at the New Year's Spectacular, and yes, both Alison and Candie got a little too overzealous. So tonight, while you were taking care of your business, I was taking care of mine. Actually, I was taking care of our business. Because I went to Josie and asked her for a favor. I asked her to do something for me for Anglepalooza...and she did it all on one condition...that I relinquish my spot in the Lethal Rumble, and my potential chance to get a shot at the World Heavyweight Title at Anglemania! The fans boo, but Zack is quick to respond. ZACK People, trust me, you're going to like this even better. See, Josie was a genie of sorts tonight, because I got three wishes for giving up that spot. There are a few things more important right now, namely this issue between you and I, Moneymaker. It's going to go away, and it's going to go away at Anglepalooza. Because FIRST, for one night only, CANDIE will return to the ring...TO TAKE ON ALISON ONE ON ONE! COLE Whoa! Candie, back in the ring! COACH Ok, that COULD be good. ZACK Secondly, you and I are signed for a rematch, Teddy. Zack Malibu, Theodore Moneymaker, ONE ON ONE AT ANGLEPALOOZA! The fans roar, and Moneymaker does not look happy as he checks to make sure his jaw is in place. ZACK Third, and oh boy are you going to love this, I... Moneymaker interrupts, snatching the mic out of Zack's hand. MONEYMAKER YOU WANT ME IN THE RING AGAIN!? FINE! YOU WANT TO GIVE UP YOUR CHANCE AT THE WORLD TITLE AGAIN JUST TO BE EMBARRASSED ONE MORE TIME, THEN FINE! ANGLEPALOOZA IT IS, ZACK! I'LL TAKE YOU ON ANY PLACE, ANY TIME, ANY KIND OF MATCH! Moneymaker shoves the mic into Zack's chest, breathing heavily as he's eyes look like they're about to bulge out of his head. ZACK Any place? Moneymaker nods yes. ZACK Any time? Again, Moneymaker nods yes. ZACK Any kind of match? A third time, a third nod. ZACK Well, I'm glad you said that, Teddy. Because I think that we should go out in style. We need to do this in a way where this war is ended for good. No Enterprise, no In Crowd, no Candie or Alison, no buyoffs or bribes. Just you and me, one on one, the brawl to end it all. So I thought long and hard, and it got me to thinking about another guy that was a thorn in my side, a guy that I couldn't get off my back, not until it came down to a last resort...and I'm exacting that last resort at Anglepalooza, because instead of the Lethal Rumble, instead of trying to get to Anglemania to face the World Champion, I'm going to get you out of my life forever, and we're going to do that inside a steel cage, with no doors, no way out of it except to SURVIVE... Moneymaker's eyes grow wide again, this time out of shock and fear. ZACK ...OR SURRENDER! Zack drops the mic, and stares Moneymaker down, as the fans go CRAZY~!, extremely happy at Zack's announcement that one of the most brutal matches in OAOAST history will again take place at Anglemania! Moneymaker flips out, kicking the ropes, swinging his suit jacket around and shouting incoherently, as Zack looks on. Offering just a smirk, Malibu eyes Moneymaker, who has gone wild at this point, and then ducks out of the ring, as we fade to black here on another edition of HeldDOWN~! GOOD NIGHT WORLD