King Cucaracha

Brought to you by American Express Taped: February 7th, 2007 First air date: February 10th, 2007 (check local listings for airings in your area) Announce team: Tony Schiavone and Jesse "The Body" Ventura Lead correspondent: Tony Brannigan Syndicated opened as ever with Jesse and Tony to greet us and try to entice us into staying tuned at this ungodly hour by previewing the show to come. Tonight, Nathaniel Black would be in action, as would Felix Strutter and Reggie Lamont and The Christ Air Express. And that rare occurance in the OAOAST, a title match, with OAOAST 6-Man Tag Team Champions Love Generation offering up a shot to Denzel Spencer and the giant duo of Jumbo and Deuce Deuce Bigelow. ***The Christ Air Express -VS- The Burrough Boys (Luther and Waldo)*** Luther and Waldo came to the ring clad in Giants jerseys. Apparantly they won some sort of football game recently. They also came to the ring without their fellow Burrough Boys, Mariano and Quincy, who had been banned from ringside for the evening. The Christ Air Express matched Luther and Waldo for speed in a frenzied opening, the referee not even attempting to keep two in and two out as they traded quick attacks. A pair of armdrags saw Luther and Waldo out to the floor for stereo suicide dives from the brothers Nerdly! MARV then took over on Waldo back inside. The twins used their unique kinship and great teamwork to isolate Waldo, running through an array of tag team moves and almost putting Waldo away with an Enziguri/Gamengiri combo. Luther was able to get a blind tag seconds later and his surprise springboard dropkick almost earned a pin over MEL. However, The CAE were able to regroup and after putting Waldo to the floor, MARV and MEL finished Luther off with the Happy Ending (Double Ace Crusher, you perv) to mark the perfect preparation for their Anderson Cup Conference Final on Thursday night. Winners: The Christ Air Express, via pinfall Highlights from last Thursday's edition of HeldDOWN~! aired. Plenty of stuff happened. Where I to describe it to you now, I'd be doing you a disservice by not forcing you to go back and read the show. Even if you've already read it, the mere mention of it here should tempt you to go back and read it again now. So, suffice is to say, HeldDOWN~!... happened! As the package ended, James Riggs appeared in the ring (well, he was already there, but we weren't, so it's as good as) with a wad full of cash. After last week's exploits, he offered up a whopping $800 to his opponent for the night, if he could beat him. ***James Riggs -VS- Jim Bob*** But, of course, he couldn't. The unlucky jobber got jumped the moment he slid into the ring and was beaten on mercilessly by Riggs, with the 800 dollars tucked safely in the front of his tights. It took little more than forty seconds for Riggs to get bored of the beating and finish the jobber off with the Rolling Koppou Kick. Victorious, Riggs then flashed his cash to the world as somewhere Theodore Moneymaker wept over having his old gimmick stolen. Winner: James Riggs, via pinfall ***Nathaniel Black -VS- Augustine Chambers*** A very grumpy looking Nathaniel Black made short work of his opponent here. Chambers didn't have to worry too much about Black's pure wrestling ability, because Black decided instead to smash through him with British brute force. After brutalising him with forearms and headbutts, Black wiped Chambers out with a lariat that almost turned him inside out. The 'almost' meaning he landed awkwardly on his shoulder, making Black's job easier as he quickly tapped him out with the Crossface Chicken Wing. Winner: Nathaniel Black, via submission After the match, Jesse Ventura headed to the ring to get a few words with Black. When asked about his Anderson Cup run, The Englishman made it clear he'd learnt nothing from teaming with Jamie O'Hara, except for what a "bloody minded jack-off he really is". Black ran down AngleSault for forcing him into a position he didn't want to be in because of a "personal vendetta" against foreigners like him and his Cucaracha Internacional stable-mates. He then said the only time he ever wanted to be in the ring with O'Hara again was against him, which he's been waiting for for half a year now. And when he gets it, he promised O'Hara will be dealt with once and for all. #~OAOAST presents ANGLEMANIA VII~# 50 DAYS TO GO!! Backstage, Maggie Nerdly tried to get a few words with Leon Rodez. Whether that's for an interview or just because he's her boyfriend, I don't know. But Leon was busy talking to Melody Nerdly about their plans to record an Audio Commentary track on the upcoming AnglePalooza 2008 DVD. "All the best DVDs have them!", quote Melody. Trying to show an interest, Maggie offered to help out, but was informed by Melody that it was "Angle Award winners only". Meant in jest or not, Maggie storms off after that, forcing Leon to go after her. After he's finished his bagel, that is. ***Felix Strutter and Reggie Lamont -VS- The All American Boys*** Felix got on the microphone before the match to, "for old time's sake", attempt to lead the crowd in the singing of the Canadian national anthem. A chorus of boos prompted him to rethink though... instead, the crowd would be led with the Jamaican national anthem by Reggie Lamont! Jesse: "Great, I love Bob Marley!" Naturally this didn't sit well with the crowd, or the masked patriot marvels who jumped them before Reggie could even get going! Freedom and Liberty handed out some American justice on the duo of California residents until Strutter was able to send Freedom to the floor. Lamont and Strutter then combined to take out Liberty. By the time Freedom got back in, his partner was already out and he fell victim to the two on one as well. Reggie put down Liberty with a Uranage and Felix hit the Santa Clara Crush (Angel's Wings) on Freedome, ONTO Liberty, Reggie piling on top to pin both All Americans at once. Winners: Felix Strutter and Reggie Lamont, via pinfall Ahead of the main-event, Jesse and Tony took a quick moment to remind us all of the big matches already signed for this coming Thursday night in Montreal. Four main-event quality matches, no less. Being hyped by the Syndicated team as the biggest HeldDOWN~! of the year, this is what's on tap... NEXT WEEK ON HELDDOWN~! The Anderson Cup Conference Finals... Los Infernales Conference: The Christ Air Express vs. Team Heyross Miracle Weirdness Connection Conference: Theodore Moneymaker and Christian Wright vs. The Sooner Bruisers PLUS: Landon Maddix vs. Todd Cortez ~If Cortez loses, he must join Cucaracha Internacional~ AND: The Ultimate X Match: PRL vs. Spanish Fly ~If PRL wins, he becomes the #1 Contender at AngleMania VII. If PRL loses, he must retire~ ~OAOAST World 6-Man Tag Team Championships~ ***Love Generation © w/Jade Rodez -VS- Jumbo, Deuce Deuce Bigelow and Denzel Spencer*** Like any good match, this one started off with an impromptu dance competition, after Leon and Denzel wound up at a stalemate in the opening going. All six men piled in to bust their moves and the unanimous winner, against a boyband tag team no less, was JUMBO, sending Leon and D*LUX bailing to the floor in defeat with his rendition of the 'washing machine'. He fared equally well in the wrestling stakes as Leon failed to move him with two shoulder blocks. Coming off the ropes for a third, Leon casually slowed down and tagged in Shayne instead and told him to try his luck. Jumbo rightly looked far from worried... until Shayne faked him out with a baseball slide through the legs and grabbed a sleeper! After a brief struggle Jumbo threw him off and got the tag to Deuce, who attempted to use his size to shut Shayne down. It worked well, until Shayne avoided a charge in the corner and D*LUX cracked him with Hit Me Baby One More Time (Double Superkick) for a nearfall. Tyler didn't last long on the offence with Deuce however and pretty soon, the Tremendous One found himself isolated from his part of town. Deuce, Jumbo and Denzel worked over Tyler with his partners and manager left to play cheerleaders. It looked all over when Jumbo slammed Tyler in the centre of the ring, setting up for the XL Splash... but Tyler rolled clear! Bigelow thought quickly and went to the top for the Funky Cold Medina... but again Tyler rolled clear, Deuce bouncing face-first off the mat as Leon got the HOT TAG~! Leon quickly jabbed his way through Jumbo and Deuce, catching Denzel on the way in with a dropkick. A pier six erupted with Jumbo and Deuce wiped out by stereo dives from D*LUX on the floor. Denzel took everybody out with a dive from the top before Leon weighed in with a pescado. Control continued to be non-existant as all six brawled in and around the ring. Going about their own battles, Leon and Denzel found themselves in a strange position, setting up 450s on Deuce and Shayne respectively on opposite sides of the ring. After a top-rope staredown they both hit their patented 450s, rolling off of their opponents and wiping each other out with a double clothesline!! Tyler came up looking to mop up on Denzel, but his Recordbreaker attempt was cut off by Jumbo. The bigman hit an avalanche, but was caught napping with the Feedback This (Sliced Bread #2) by Leon! Deuce sent Leon to the floor and soon followed courtesy of a dropkick from Shayne. That left Denzel and Shayne, the Jamaican eventually setting up the scissors kick. Shayne avoided the contact though, catching Spencer with the Motion Blur (Code Red) and JUST scoring the three before Jumbo could get over to break the fall! Winners and still 6-Man Tag Team Champions: Love Generation, via pinfall All six men put their differences of the match aside, shaking hands and standing with hands raised as the show went off the air.

Landon Maddix vs. Todd Cortez STIPULATION: If Todd Cortez loses, he must join Cucaracha Internacional. If Landon loses... he'll probably cry about it a bunch, I don't know. He's not neccessarily required to though.

COLE We'd like to take a quick second to remind you all that next week, we will be broadcasting live from north of the border, from The Bell Centre in scenic Montreal, Quebec. Already three big matches signed for next week. The Conference Finals of the Anderson Cup to be decided, in addition to Landon Maddix and Todd Cortez one on one with the stipulation that if Landon wins next week, Todd Cortez must join the ranks of Cucaracha Internacional. And with that in mind, we go to the ring and Michael Buffer. "The Church Of Hot Addiction" by Cobra Starship hits, bringing out the OAOAST's resident odd couple, James Blonde leading the way in his faux fur coat, tracked by Faqu. BUFFER The following tag team contest is set for one fall. On the way to the ring, team number one... total combined weight, five hundred and nine pounds. They represent CUCARACHA INTERNACIONAL... the team of "THE TRENDSETTER" JAMES BBLLLOOOOOOOONNDDEEEEEEE... and, his partner, "THE SAMOAN WRECKING BALL" FFFFFFAAAAAAAAAAAAQQQQQUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Blonde raises an arm over his head, pointing to himself incase anybody missed him and his mound of fur. Behind him, Faqu sends a cameraman scurrying with a lunge. Blonde quickly gets in Faqu's ear and presumably tells him to save himself for the opponents, as Faqu leaves the rest at bay and enters the ring. COLE Faqu and Blonde, to do Cucaracha Internacional's bidding here tonight. Not only do they have Todd Cortez to soften up for Landon ready for next week, but also Jamie O'Hara, who we saw get blindsighted by Nathaniel Black [i]last[/i] week. That issue is far from over. COACH So you're saying, two birds one stone? COLE Well, it could be three birds. A win for Faqu and Blonde tonight keeps them in consideration for another World Tag Team Title shot. "OOOOOOOOIIIIIIII!" Faqu glares down the aisleway as "Fix Up, Look Sharp" pumps through the arena. And out swaggers Jamie O'Hara, stopping for a moment as he locks eyes with Faqu but shaking it off and slapping some hands with his usual bravado. BUFFER And their opponents. First, from Birmingham, England... weighing in at one hundred and seventy pounds... "THE BIRMINGHAM BAD BOY" JJJAAAAAAAMMMMMIIIIIIIIEEEEEEE OOOOOO'HHHHHHAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAA!!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!! Stopping in the aisleway, O'Hara hops around as he waits for "Oh No" by Mos Def, Nate Dogg and Pharoah Monche to hit. Todd Cortez walks out, showered in sparkles of pyro before he pounds his chest and marches to the ring. BUFFER And, hailing from Hollywood Boulevard! He weighs two hundred and twenty six pounds... "THE URBAN LEGEND"... TTOOOOOOOOOOOOODD... CCOOOOORRRRRRRTTEEEEEEEEZZZZZZZZ!!! "YYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE A big reaction for the master of the Riot Act Plus! COACH And of nothing else whatsoever. Patting his partner on the back as he passes, Cortez slides into the ring and drops down ready to fight. O'Hara is right behind him and Blonde quickly moves to calm Faqu down again. Removing his gold chain and cross, Cortez keeps a close eye on the Samoan nonetheless. The former rivals talk things over in the corner while Faqu is convinced onto the apron by Blonde... [b]"PREPARE...FOR...LANDON!"[/b] [i]...WAAAAAHHHHH... *DUM DUM*[/i] "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Now, wait a second! ...because there's one more man to make his way out yet. "Megalomaniac" blares through the speakers and all heads turn as LANDON MADDIX appears on the stage, with Megan Skye at his side. Blonde makes a big deal of applauding his newfound leader as he walks arm in arm to the ring with Megan, eyed closely by Cortez as they pass. Referee Jack Doan is ready to lay the law down to them both about getting involved in this match, but Landon innocently holds his hands up, signalling that he's just passing by on his way to Sofa Central. COLE I don't remember anyone saying we'd be joined out here by Landon tonight. COACH When was the last time anyone told you anything? Most people back there think we replaced you months ago. Which may or may not have something to do with me telling them that. Anyway, let's not look a gift horse in the mouth, whatever the heck that means. Getting his headset, Landon shakes hands with The Coach, politely declining the offer of the handshake from Michael Cole however. In the ring, O'Hara sees his partner's focus waning and makes it clear he's going to be starting the match. COLE Landon, nice of you to join us. No prizes for guessing what brings you out here. MADDIX My voice should be prize enough Michael. But, no, I'm out here on a little scouting mission, a chance to get a closer look at my newfound friends in action. And maybe I can impart some knowledge at the same time, who knows? COLE And no coincidence that this match is happening a week away from you facing Todd Cortez one on one? MADDIX I'm the SWF Commissioner, not the OAOAST commissioner. Not my call. COLE Right. *DINGDINGDING!* With the bell sounding, Blonde loosens up and circles with O'Hara. Blonde comes out of a lock-up with a side headlock and dedicates it to Landon shamelessly, before O'Hara manages to escape it by pushing him off into the ropes. Back comes Blonde with a shoulder block though to knock him down. The 'street-wise' Blonde dusts off his shoulder onto O'Hara and hits the ropes again... but O'Hara suddenly nips-up and catches Blonde with an armdrag on the rebound! Rolling to his feet, Blonde misses with an elbow, Jamie underneath it and pulling Blonde out with a whip. O'Hara telegraphs a duck of the head though, getting clubbed in the back as payment. MADDIX Good thinking, very good. After a slap across the back of the head, into the ropes backs Blonde again. Up goes O'Hara for a leapfrog... caught in mid-air by Blonde... but the Englishman tips forward and floats over the back with a sunset flip... 1... 2... No! Blonde tries for a clothesline as O'Hara gets back to his feet. But he continues to be one step behind his opponent as O'Hara ducks underneath the line and springs to the middle rope, twisting off with a crossbody block... 1... 2... Blonde kicks out. COLE O'Hara is so quick, so unpredictable, it's so hard to catch him once he's in motion. With Blonde backed up against the ropes, O'Hara goes into motion again looking to land with a clothesline. A duck of the head backdrops O'Hara up and over the top rope. But he lands on his feet safely, kicking Blonde in the kidneys through the ropes. O'Hara then launches over the top, hooking his ankles around Blonde's head and snapping him over with a headscissors! "YYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!" Rolling on through goes Blonde as the SuperJay rushes in again. This time he gets a little ahead of himself though and runs right into a knee to the gut. MADDIX There we go. As O'Hara doubles up in pain, James takes a second to point to his temple to show how smart he is. MADDIX I love this guy. COLE Because he reminds you so much of... you? MADDIX Exactly! Blonde spins O'Hara around and takes him up for a back suplex. Over the top floats O'Hara however, landing safely on his feet and hooking Blonde over with a rolling prawn hold... 1... 2... No! Scrambling to his feet, Blonde has clearly had enough and tags in Faqu! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE And in comes The Samoan Wrecking Ball, right on cue. The workhorse of the team. Whether he likes it or not. COACH I'm guessing he does. MADDIX Oh, Faqu's a little... he's... you know, 'not all there'. But he likes dishing out pain. And that's just the way James likes him. Who am I to argue with success, huh? Faqu steps in and beats his chest, not intimidating O'Hara enough to get him out of the ring. The Birmingham Bad Boy squares up to Faqu and actually goes chest to chest with him, daring him to take a shot. Risky move. Faqu lets out a loud shout and takes a step back... *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...CRACKING O'Hara with one hard chop, taking him off his feet! COLE A brave move to stand up to Faqu. Not particularly advisable though. Faqu lifts O'Hara back to his feet and backs him into a neutral corner. The referee lays a count on Faqu, who just looks at him before taking his hands off of O'Hara at four... *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...to deliver another chop! O'Hara falls down in the corner, stalked over by Faqu who pants like a rabid animal. "JA - MIE!" "JA - MIE!" "JA - MIE!" "JA - MIE!" By the vest-top, Faqu drags the lifeless O'Hara to his feet again. A shove pushes him into the turnbuckles, Faqu ducking low with a shoulder charge to the gut. Faqu then sends O'Hara out of the corner with an irish whip, arrowing him towards the opposite turnbuckles. Grabbing the top rope, O'Hara goes up and ove... NO! Up but not over, Faqu catching him on his shoulder! Faqu peels O'Hara's hands off the ropes, turns and charges with him. But O'Hara slides off the shoulder and lands on his feet behind Faqu, springing up and dropkicking him in the back to create space to get a tag to Cortez! "YYEEEEEEEEAAAAAHHHHHHH!" Cortez shows a similar lack of fear and rushes Faqu, beating him to the punch quite literally. Four right hands stagger Faqu, setting him up for an irish whip. Or half of one at least, Faqu spinning and reversing the momentum. Off the ropes comes Cortez, ducking underneath a wild swing from the wildman and connecting with a Spinning Wheel Kick to knock Faqu down! COLE Down goes The Samoan Wrecking Ball! That's no mean feat in itself right there! Faqu gets back up, into a European uppercut! And a second! And a third! The shots to the chest seem to wind Faqu, allowing Cortez to hook him up for a suplex. Lifting Faqu proves much more of a problem however. COACH Not gonna happen. COLE Not just yet, at least. After two fruitless attempts Cortez gives up on the suplex and jumps over the back, trying to pull Faqu down with a sunset flip. Faqu stays on his feet, shaking his head... and SITS OUT... ...MISSING CORTEZ, barely! Rolling clear, Cortez comes off the ropes as Faqu sits hurting in the middle of the ring, blasting the big Samoan in the face with a basement dropkick! He dives on top, trying to hook a leg... 1... Kickout! Todd lets Faqu back up before running the ropes. Down the apron comes Blonde to try and cut The Urban Legend off in mid-stride with a sneaky knee. He doesn't prove sneaky enough though and Cortez puts on the brakes, cracking Blonde with a roundhouse kick that knocks him off the apron! The second with his back turned to Faqu proves costly however. Faqu strikes him in the back with his bare palms, then lofts Cortez up and over his head with a Saito Suplex! "OOOOOHHHHHHHHHHH!!" MADDIX Yes! Get on him now. KILL! KILL! Taking orders from Landon with the absense of his partner, who's currently piecing his front teeth back together on the floor, Faqu drops to his knees and lays in a blatant choke! "ONE!" "TWO!" "THREE!" "FOUR!" "FIV..." Faqu breaks the choke, looking like he's about to break referee Jack Doan, which sends him scrambling for cover. COLE That's the danger with Faqu, he's liable to do anything. He [i]used[/i] to be a regular, well-adjusted human being, nobody knows what's caused this change and similarly nobody knows what he's capable of now. MADDIX Except for one man, James Blonde. And Nathaniel Black. And now, whadda ya know, me and Megan too! Faqu pulls Cortez up off the canvas, still looking daggers at the referee. A scoop and a slam places Cortez in the middle of the ring, Faqu coming off the ropes and touching his knees in mid-air as he comes down with a tuck bodysplash, flattening Todd under his 300 plus pounds! 1... 2... NO! Back on the apron, Blonde calls for a tag and gets it from his partner. "The Trendsetter" still feels his jaw as he enters the ring, stomping Cortez a couple of times to pay him back for the earlier kick. Blonde then flattens out Cortez again and leaps onto his chest with a Double Stomp! COLE Blonde in and taking over, after Faqu cut off the opposition. Not a new strategy and one that seems to suit this team. Especially Blonde. MADDIX They're the rightful Tag Team Champions! What went down at AnglePalooza was bush league. Where in the OAOAST rulebook does it say using chairs are legal, so long as it's on someone bigger and scarier than you? Nowhere, that's where. An irish whip sends Cortez into opposition territory, hitting the turnbuckles next to Faqu. Finding himself cornered he lashes out with an elbow to Faqu! He then lands a right hand on Blonde! A right to Faqu! A right to Blonde! "YYYEEEEEEEAAA..." The offensive flurry is cut off though, Blonde shooting for and picking out a leg, pinning Cortez in the corner. Faqu tags himself in and catches Todd wide open with an open-handed thrust to the throat! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Angry at the double-teaming, O'Hara steps into the ring and ends up making matters worse. The referee steps in to move O'Hara back to the corner, allowing Blonde to stay in the ring and pin Cortez in the corner, this time with his entire bodyweight, only stepping out of the way to avoid an AVALANCHE from The Samoan Wrecking Ball!! O'Hara is beside himself, taunted further by James Blonde, just because he can. MADDIX I'm telling you, it's only a matter of time before these guys have gold around their waist now that they're under our tutelage in Cucaracha Internacional. That's what Todd Cortez is going to come to realise once I beat him next week. With O'Hara finally moved out of the ring, Faqu covers Cortez... 1... 2... Kickout! With Blonde's approval, Faqu clamps on a nervehold, squeezing away at Cortez's trapezius muscle. "COR - TEZ!" "COR - TEZ!" "COR - TEZ!" "COR - TEZ!" COACH These people are so quick to cheer for Cortez and O'Hara. I don't get it Landon. They nothing but street trash, not well-groomed, clean-cut people like yourself and James Blonde. COLE Why would these people cheer someone like James Blonde? COACH He's a Trendsetter! COLE Call me naive, but I don't see the faux fur look catching on in Mobile, Alabama any time soon. Despite the numbness setting in down his right side, Cortez fights to his feet. An elbow to the well padded gut of Faqu doesn't do him much good. And a clench on the nervehold drops him back down to his knees with a groan. Relinquishing the hold, Faqu then strikes him in the back with a kick to put him all the way down. COLE Faqu has shut down Cortez here, with his size. MADDIX Not with his size, with his ABILITY! He's some giant lump of non-descript mass Michael Cole, he's a competitor, right now a competitor superior to Todd Cortez. It's not about size. Cortez is nothing but a one-move wonder without me! But that flippy-dippy piledriver isn't going to happen with Faqu and when you take that move away, he's not much of a wonder at all now, is he? COLE But taking that one move away is easier said than done for some, right Landon? MADDIX ...I'm not going to have to worry my pretty little head about the 'Riot Act Plus' after next week. Tagged back in, Blonde picks up Cortez... BUT GETS CAUGHT IN A SMALL PACKAGE... 1... 2... NO! Both men scramble back up... but Blonde finds himself in his corner, not thinking to actually tag Faqu as he instead dives to prevent the tag on the other side... and FAILS! "YYYEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" COLE TAG! Here comes O'Hara! In the only way he knows how, leaping to the top and taking out Blonde with a Springboard Dropkick! MADDIX No wonder Nat hates this guy. O'Hara pops back up and catches Faqu coming in with a flipping dropkick as well. The fact he was only on one foot serves to send Faqu through the ropes and to the floor. O'Hara sees him off and jumps to the middle rope, Blonde charging at him but getting leapfrogged! Into the turnbuckles clatters The Trendsetter, staggering out into a Busaiku Knee Kick off the ropes from O'Hara! 1... 2... NO!! O'Hara doesn't cry over spilt milk, jumping back up to try and make good on the pin this time, after a STANDING CORKSCREW SENTON!! 1... 2... NO!!!! "OOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" COLE Explosive as ever, Jamie O'Hara! Leaving the ring, O'Hara heads up top. Blonde is slow to his feet which allows O'Hara time to get his footing up top, setting himself for a Flying Crossbody Block... 1... BLONDE ROLLS THROUGH... 1... 2... NO! COLE I think Blonde had a handful of... whatever the heck O'Hara's wearing, tracksuit pants... anyway, point is he didn't get him. MADDIX How do you put up with this guy? COACH I convinced some people we fired him months back. See, that way, they ship in my favourite flavour ice-cream, which I keep right he... Trailing off, Coach realises he isn't being listened to anymore as Landon has left the commentary table. He jumps up onto the apron just as O'Hara flips Blonde out of a Guilt Trip attempt and nails him with a Spinning Roundhouse to the side of the head! No sooner has Blonde hit the mat than NATHANIEL BLACK appears, sliding into the ring and MOWING down O'Hara with a BLACK LARIAT!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE HEY! Damnit, the referee didn't see a thing! COACH Haha... perfect. COLE Well, almost. Black slides out of the ring, but realises that Blonde is out and panics. Encouraging Landon to stall for more time he slides back in, Landon struggling to keep Doan's attention while Black drops Blonde on top of O'Hara... *SMACK!* "YYYEEEEEEAAAAHHHHH!" ...AND EATS A SUPERKICK FROM TODD CORTEZ!! COACH He's not even in the match! Thats what the phrase UNF'NCALLED FOR was invented for right there! Seeing his back-up go spiralling through the ropes and to the floor, Maddix shoves Doan out of the way and charges with a double axehandl... NO! Cortez turns around and Maddix, realising he's within at least 3 feet of yet another Riot Act Plus, dives to the side and right out of the ring, proclaiming his innocence. Cortez doesn't waste time arguing with him, as Faqu suddenly charges, the bigman not stopping for anything but finding himself on the floor all the same as Cortez sidesteps him! COLE The Cucaracha Internacional gameplan is crumbling before their very eyes! Landon tries despairingly to pull Faqu up, as in the ring Blonde gets up into a boot from Cortez. The Urban Legend reels him into the standing headscissors, wrapping the arms around the waist... ...and, after locking eyes with Landon, letting Blonde go. Instead he goes behind Blonde with a hammerlock, wrapping on the dragon sleeper and pulling the Canadian down into the STREET DREAMS!! "YYYEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" COLE Submission hold! The dragon sleeper/armlock combination, with the bodyscissors, there's nowhere for Blonde to go! With Faqu too much for him to lift, Landon can only look on in despair... ...AS BLONDE GIVES IT UP, TAPPING OUT AGAINST HIS OWN BODY!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" *DINGDINGDING!* "Oh No" hits again as Cortez lets Blonde go, shoving him off of him and standing tall in the middle of the ring. Landon looks shocked as Cortez dares him to step into the ring a few days early. But La Cucaracha settles for getting Blonde safely out of the ring and gathering his troops. BUFFER Your winners of this contest... the team of JAMIE O'HARA and "THE URBAN LEGEND" TOOOOOOODD CCOOOOOOORRRRRTTEEEEEEEZZZZZZ!!! "YYYEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" COLE And look at the colour drained from Landon Maddix's face. The supposed 'one move wonder' has just given La Cucaracha yet more to think about ahead of next week in Montreal! Cortez helps O'Hara up, having to keep him from bailing out of the ring to continue the fight as Cucaracha Internacional have similar problems restraining Faqu. Despite the pain he's suffering Blonde is able to get Faqu under control, O'Hara yelling some parting words with Black as a clearly frustrated Landon waves his men off to the back. COLE Not quite what Landon had in mind for tonight. COACH Oh gee, you think? COLE It was obvious, the trap was set. But it failed to close on O'Hara and Cortez and instead of having a softened up Todd Cortez to contend with next week, Landon now has a little reminder of what Cortez can do [i]besides[/i] the Riot Act Plus. As if that alone wasn't enough to bother Maddix. Cucaracha Internacional pile out to the back, with Landon getting a last bit of eye contact with Cortez. And it's clear for all to see, next week can't come soon enough. For either man.

That's as much to do with his booking as it is his ability to connect to the crowd. His feud with Finlay was everything Lashley should have been, as were his interactions with Cena. People reacting to him when he was doing the things they wanted to see him do. Shockingly enough. They failed to cover up his negatives and accentuate his positives often enough, that was the problem. Did he even have merchandise?

BUFFER The following contest is a Conference Semi Final Match in the 2008 Anderson Cup, Miracle Weirdness Connection Conference, scheduled for one fall! Relieved to have gotten through that mouthful without stumbling over his words, Buffer smiles wide as "Easy Lover" begins to waft through the arena. [i]"Easy lover She'll get a hold on you believe it Like no other Before you know it you'll be on your knees"[/i] Out through the entrance swagger the walking stereotypes that are Rico de Janeiro and Lucius Soul. Lucius picks away at his 'fro with a renewed look of confidence on his face since we last saw him, Rico swaggering out in front stroking his trusty porn 'stache to all the Alabama mammas in the audience. The duo come to an abrupt stop as they're flashed in the aisleway by a fan hoping to earn some Mardi Gras beads. Unfortunately, the fan happens to be a heavily overweight male in his 40s which turns Rico a little green in the gills. VENTURA Don't go getting any ideas Schiavone! BUFFER Introducing team number one! At a total combined weight of four hundred and thirteen pounds... they are the number three seeds in the Miracle Weirdness Connection Conference... RICO DE JANEIRO and "SWEET" LUCIUS SOUL... together, they are THE MARDI GRAS HHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMEEWRECKING CCRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWii!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Lucius and Rico rule the roost, strutting around like they own the ring. Mainly because there's no big Oklahomans to argue with them, at the moment. SCHIAVONE The Mardi Gras crew looking pretty confident tonight Jess. VENTURA Well they've made it this far, they're now one win away from the Conference Final. And not to mention, they got that big win last weekend on Syndicated over The Bruisers... SCHIAVONE Well, that was in eight man tag team action and it was Synth who picked up the fall. VENTURA Doesn't matter. The record books say Mardi Gras were winners and The Sooners were losers. They've got momentum on their side, which is going to be vital because they'll need every advantage they can get if they hope to advance over the former OAOAST World Tag Team Champions. SCHIAVONE Who were never beaten for those titles, let's not forget. "Frankenstein" by Edgar Winter rips through the arena and the crowd jump to their feet. Muscles flexing to the point of bursting, Big Frank soaks in the spotlight with Uber barking away in the background. BUFFER And introducing their opponents! At a total combined weight of five hundred and thirty pounds. They hail from the great state of Oklahoma... the number two seeds in the Miracle Weirdness Connection Conference, BIG FRANK and UBER... THE SOOOOOOOOONNEEEEEEERRRRRRRR... BBRRRRRRUUUUUUUIIIIIISSEEEEERRRRRSSSSS!!!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" VENTURA The [i]great[/i] state of Oklahoma!? Is that what we did with JR in the end, locked him away writing Buffer's cue-cards? SCHIAVONE .....The Sooner Bruisers made these pre-recorded comments earlier. [COLOR=orange][i]OAOAST[/i][/COLOR] In the right corner of the screen appear The Sooners in front of a grey OAOAST backdrop. BIG FRANK You know since we've been back, me and Uber, we've been keepin' a pretty low profile. We've been away for a while, we ain't expecting to still be the top of the food chain around here. So we've been hard at work behind the scenes, knocking off the ring rust, getting back in top condition. We came back for competition. But we sure as hell weren't expecting to have an 'L' on our records so quick. Wouldn't ya know it, that smacked up bitch Synth gets a cheap one over us first time we get them sons of bitches back in the ring! UBER But if ya'll think that's a good thing, more fool you. See all it's done is pissed us off! BIG FRANK And Mardi Gras, you boys are in the unenviable position. You're the beta test for the pissed off Sooners, Version 9,000,000.0! Featuring the Soonerline, upgraded for 2008, with 800MB of *WHAM!* Compatible with all chest cavities! UBER OW OWWWWWii [COLOR=orange][i]HELDDOWN~![/COLOR][/i] *DINGDINGDING!* With The Sooners comments comes the opening bell, Big Frank and Uber rushing their opponents at the outset! Uber takes Rico and Frank takes Soul clubbing them with forearms against the ropes. Setting them up, Uber and Frank then send The MGHWC off the ropes with stereo irish whips, loading up those SOONERLINES... but Rico and Lucius grab onto the top rope and drag themselves out of the ring to safety! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" SCHIAVONE That was almost the worst possible start for The Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew. VENTURA No doubt. A couple of Soonerlines and it could have been curtains. Once they've got their gameplan re-assessed, Rico and Lucius high-five and break the huddle. It's Lucius to start off officially with Frank and surprisingly he doesn't look overly concerned. Lucius jigs over to Big Frank and locks up, jockeying for position. Frank doesn't do much in the way of jockeying though. And as Lucius struggles to move his larger opponent, Frank eventually gets bored and shoves him unceremoniously to the mat! Up sits Soul, looking shocked, as Big Frank shows off his mega-biceps. SOUL Naw, naw, dat just ain't right! As Frank flexes the double biceps, Lucius complains to the referee and orders that he check Frank out. Despite the fact he's wearing no elbowpads. Referee Robinson makes this point, but Soul ducks his head through the ropes, refusing to continue until the check is made. VENTURA If Lucius is trying to play mind-games with The Sooners, he's wasting his time. The crowd get on the Nawlins native's back. But once he's sure that Frank isn't concealing any foreign objects [i]under his skin[/i], Lucius is good to go again. Another lock-up and this time Lucius doesn't try to match power, grabbing a side headlock. Big Frank just shoves Lucius off into the ropes with ease though. Underneath the elbow goes Lucius, rebounding back with good speed. But that speed just runs him into a shoulder check, knocking him clean off of his feet! Lucius scurries to the outside as the fired up Big Frank drops down and does some push-ups in the centre of the ring to show how easy life is right now! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHH!" VENTURA Told ya! There's some mind games right back from two of the best! SCHIAVONE The Sooner Bruisers can intimidate you like no other team in the OAOAST. Size, strength and plenty of unpredictability. Lucius slides back into the ring, solely to tag Rico in legally before bailing back out. A bit more even in size are Frank and Rico, the Brazilian confident enough to lock-up with Frank even after his partner's failings. Frank quickly shifts behind Rico into a waistlock, picking him up off his feet and dumping him face-first. The former NCAA All American then rides Rico, who has no answer to it what-so-ever, except scramble out of the ring when Frank stops to paintbrush him in the back of the head. Getting tired of the stoppages, Big Frank opens up the ropes and 'invites' Rico back inside as he stands on the floor, thoughtfully stroking his porn 'stache. SCHIAVONE And Uber's not going to stand for this. Not at all, as he breaks up a Mardi Gras pow-wow and pitches Rico back into the ring! Big Frank quickly goes back on the offence on Rico... ...but as Uber turns to go back to his corner, he suddenly hits the deck off a CHOPBLOCK by Lucius!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" The referee doesn't see it, only spotting Lucius as he rushes back to the corner. Big Frank meanwhile has Rico up over his head in a Gorilla Press and slams him hard to the canvas. He covers... 1... 2... NO! VENTURA Big power there by Frank, but what he doesn't realise yet is that his partner is out on the floor, looking in a real bad way from where I'm sitting! Shoving Rico into a neutral corner, Frank clubs him across the chest with a forearm. And again. Referee Robinson tells him to get out of the corner and he does, bringing Rico with him by the hair. Whip off the ropes and Rico gets sent around the world, driven down with a real bad landing off the Tilt-A-Whirl Suplex! But as Frank gets up to make a tag, he notices for the first time his brother Uber laid out on the arena floor, distracting him while Rico crawls over to tag out. SCHIAVONE Uber looks hurt Jesse. VENTURA No doubt, when these Sooners stay down you know there's something to stay down for. Lucius clipped out that knee from the back, could have done any number of things to the leg. Ligaments, tendons, if Uber had that foot planted then anything could have gone. As Frank starts to leave the ring to check on his brother, the referee tries to convince him to stay in the ring. Under duress, he does... but as he goes back after Rico, he instead finds Lucius and a Bicycle Kick to the jaWii Down goes Frank, prompting Lucius to dive on top with an eager cover... 1... 2... NO! Mounting Frank, Lucius keeps the pressure on with some right hands before tagging Rico back in. SCHIAVONE And now it's two on one, for the time being at least. VENTURA Which Rico and Lucius are going to have to take advantage of. Simple as that. Lucius holds Frank open, for a boot to the ribs from Rico. The Mardi Gras partiers then combine to hit Big Frank with a Double Back Suplex, for another pin attempt... 1... 2... No! Crawling to his corner, Frank finds no respite as Uber continues to lie injured on the outside. Rico follows Frank in, taking a punch to the gut. And a second. But a rake of the eyes cuts off Frank's third shot, Rico then turning him around and smothering him against the middle turnbuckle. Once he's subdued Frank (and shrugged off the ref), Rico jogs over to make another exchange with Lucius. Leaping in over the top, Lucius measures The Man Of Tommorrow as he pulls himself up in the corner... AND LEVELS HIM WITH A YAKUZA KICK IN THE CORNER!! "OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" A schoolboy brings Frank down out of the corner... 1... 2... NO!! Lucius gets right on Robinson's case about the count, before he notices Uber starting to pull himself back onto the apron. One kick sends him back to the floor, the left leg clattering off the concrete for good measure. VENTURA That's right, no time to be griping with the referee. The Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew have to press home this advantage while it's there! Grabbing Frank in a facelock, Lucius tries to drag him over to his corner. Moving the bigman is still a struggle though, so Rico doesn't wait for the tag and comes in anyway. Only the referee's five count can stop The Mardi Gras'ers from their double-team and they're well within that as they hit a double back elbow off a whip. Lucius feeds Rico his foot for the Assisted Standing Moonsault and hooks a deep leg... 1... 2... Kickout! This time a legal tag is made, to bring Rico back in, geed up by Lucius as he enters. "RI - CO SUCKS!" "RI - CO SUCKS!" "RI - CO SUCKS!" "RI - CO SUCKS!" Getting distracted briefly with the fans, Rico allows Frank to get a shot in from his knees! Frank lands two more punches to the gut and gets to his feet, crossing Rico's eyes with a big haymaker. The Brazilian fires back with a right hand of his own. But he makes the mistake of running the ropes, telegraphing a clothesline and falling prey to a German Suplex as Big Frank ducks the shot! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" SCHIAVONE You cannot underestimate the toughness of The Sooner Bruisers! Frank has been in there two on one all match, but he simply refuses to stay down. Lucius runs in and heaves Frank to his feet... but cannot heave him onto his shoulders for the F2S. A second attempt, no joy. So Soul rethinks, whipping Frank into the Mardi Gras corner. Soul backs up and throws himself at Frank with the Soul Brother Splash... NO! Big Frank sidesteps and GETS THE TAG to Uber! SCHIAVONE Here comes little brother! VENTURA But will the leg hold out on him? Obviously Lucius doesn't think so, having saved himself by landing on the bottom rope. He smiles as Uber hobbles into the ring, sprinting at the injured Sooner... ...AND GETTING CLUBBED DOWN WITH A SOONERLINE!!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" SCHIAVONE Oh-ho-ho! Looks like it will Jesse! Uber hops past the motionless Lucius, spotting Rico as he charges with a double axehandle weilded. Catching Rico coming, Uber turns and throws him with a T-BONE SUPLEX, one leg and all! 1... 2... ...Lucius saves! Hobbling, Uber gets up but fails to get the first shot in on Lucius. A kick to the kneecap drops the 260 pounder Bruiser in a heap, Soul quickly barring the leg into a halfcrab! VENTURA Uber's howling. But he's howling in pain tonight. SCHIAVONE What a feather in the cap it would be for The Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew, to not only beat The Sooner Bruisers but to do so via a submission! VENTURA They may never have a better shot than now. Uber reaches out but is nowhere near the ropes and struggling to crawl any closer. Lucius wrenches on the knee, yelling at Uber to give it up. Just as Uber is looking to be in trouble though, big brother Frank re-enters the ring. After a shot to the back he drags Lucius off of Uber, butterflying the arms and drilling him to the canvas with a powerbomb!! "YYYEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHH!" Flipping him over, Big Frank decides to kick back into the LAY-Z-BOY! VENTURA Now, who's the legal man here Schiavone!? And don't give me that 'I don't think it matters' crap you usually pull when you don't wanna answer! SCHIAVONE Well, if you know the answer already, why are you asking me? VENTURA I just wanna hear you say it! SCHIAVONE Okay then, Uber is legal... VENTURA Right! So why's the referee allowing Big Frank to stay in the ring if he's not legal? SCHIAVONE Well neither is Lucius. VENTURA So two wrongs make a right now? With Lucius shaking his head vehemently, Rico steps in to save his partner. A shot to the back of the head breaks the hold and Rico pitches Frank out of the ring. Rather than leave with him though, Lucius is helped to his feet to assist in a double team on Uber. SCHIAVONE Now, Lucius still isn't legal. VENTURA He's got a five count to get in and out Tony. Read the rulebook sometime. The MGHWC set up Uber for a double irish whip. On one leg he navigates his way back off the ropes, stopping short of the ducked heads and dropping Lucius and Rico with a DOUBLE DDT!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHH!" Back in comes Big Frank, clotheslining Lucius up and over the top, to the floor. The Man Of Tommorrow then catches Rico with a boot to the gut, ducking his head and taking The King Of The Mardi Gras up into the electric chair! SCHIAVONE Look out, could be the beginning of the end... Frank positions himself in front of the turnbuckles and Uber limps over. But as he tries to go up top, his leg gives out on him and he waves to his brother that he can't go up. So Frank re-adjusts. Getting his arms out in front, Frank flips Rico forward, catching him around the waist and SPIKING HIM INTO THE MAT WITH THE 69 DRIVER!!! "OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" SCHIAVONE Well, one way or the other! VENTURA That is end of the end. You could count to a hundred. Frank stands guard, as Uber limps over to apply the pin... 1... 2... 3!!!! *DINGDINGDING!* SCHIAVONE And The Sooners are going to the Conference Final! BUFFER Here are your winners, advancing on in the 2008 Anderson Cup... THE SSOOOOOOOOOOONNEEEERRRR BBRRRUUUUUUIIIIIISSSSEEEEEERRRRRSSSSSS!!!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" Deciding not to try and get back in, Lucius just stands on the outside holding his head having seen his partner get impaled before his eyes as "Frankenstein" hits. Uber has to use the ropes to pull himself up, still cringing at the pain in his knee. Big Frank shows his concern, only flexing [i]one[/i] bicep while he helps Uber get his feet with the other. SCHIAVONE The Homewrecking Crew had a gameplan. Isolate one Sooner, take out the other. And it seemed like it was working, if not for the determination and fighting spirit of these Sooner Bruisers. Uber fought through the pain and Big Frank fought the odds, meaning they will fight in the Conference Final next week against Christian Wright and Theodore Moneymaker, who can't be too pleased right now. VENTURA Maybe not, but there's a glimmer of hope in that left knee of Uber which I'm sure hasn't gone unnoticed in Enterprise Towers. Rico is dragged off to the back as The Sooners celebrate their victory.

That sounds about right. I still can't believe he didn't end up with a similar injury when he landed on his head at Steel Cage Warfare. Or in that singles match against Ricky Reyes at the 4th Year Anniversary show. Or in CZW when he fell off the cage at COD. Or....

He suffered the injuries in Japan, I know that much. EDIT: Apparantly he'll be out until April at the earliest. No idea what he actually did though.

Anderson Cup Conf. Semi Final The Sooner Bruisers vs. The Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew Faqu and James Blonde vs. Todd Cortez and Jamie O'Hara

COLE AnglePalooza was indeed a night that we won't soon forget. It's a night that Landon "La Cucaracha" Maddix will remember for a while I'm sure, for all the wrong reasons. Landon guaranteed victory in the Lethal Rumble Match and... well, suffice is to say, things didn't turn out the way he expected, thanks in no small part to Todd Cortez. [QUOTE=Last Sunday Night at ANGLEPALOOZA 2008] Battles go on around the ring, as in the middle, Landon Maddix is up. Shaken, but up. Maddix soon has a smile on his face though as he sees Cortez getting up with his back to him. Sneaking up behind, Landon takes Cortez by the head and tosses him over... but NOT out! Little does Landon realise this, dusting his hands with satisfaction as he walks away. Reject is up and points out Cuban Wall, Landon nodding and moving in. But he takes a step back and catches out Reject, clubbing him with a cheapshot to the back of the head before picking him up over his shoulders. COACH Looking for the G2S! Maddix carries Reject in the fireman's carry, turning around and... ...taking a boot, from Todd Cortez, shock giving way to fear as Cortez pulls him into a standing headscissors and tumbles forward, SPIKING MADDIX INTO THE CANVAS WITH THE RIOT ACT PLUS~!!!! COACH OH NO! COLE Maddix is read the Riot Act again! With Landon out of it, Cortez picks him right back off the canvas AND PITCHES HIM OUT OVER THE TOP TO THE DELIGHT OF THE CROWD!!!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE HE'S OUT! Maddix is gone and I don't think he even knows it yet![/QUOTE] *Back to Sofa Central* COLE Another Riot Act Plus for Landon Maddix and another step farther from regaining the World Heavyweight Championship. Well during the week, the good folks at the OAOAST.com were sent a special video message from La Cucaracha, recorded a short time after AnglePalooza. Let's take a look at what Landon had to say, directed to his former running buddy Todd Cortez... [b][COLOR=orange]*WHOOSH~!*[/COLOR][/b] The footage begins with a couple of seconds of static, before suddenly the camera comes to life. The footage is kinda jumpy, much like you'd expect to see on any video on the internet. Indistinct sounds can be heard in the background as Landon leans against a plain beige coloured wall, deep in thought as he looks down at the floor beneath him. With a loud sigh Landon then looks up for the first time into the camera. MADDIX Todd Cortez, I've been doing a lot of thinking recently. Landon smiles to himself. MADDIX Guess I've got plenty to think about. Like you Todd. Like the way things have imploded between us these past few months. Like... all the times you've screwed me over these past few months, out of titles, title opportunities. And Todd, I've come to a conclusion just recently. You see, I understand your frustrations. I understand that you're an ambitious guy and you feel like you could be a somebody around here, amongst a sea of nobodies, of could-bes, of should-bes. But Todd, you see the problem is, you've got ideas above your station. Zack Malibu got in your head with tales of success and grandour. And you bought into it. You bought into those dreams. So you went and you turned your back on me. And ever since then you've been directing your frustrations towards me. Staring into the camera for a second, Landon bites at his lip. MADDIX You stabbed me in the back and at first, that angered me. But I've come to think and I've come to understand... you were doing what you thought was right for your career. And it's down to me to remind you that what is best for your career is being associated with me! Pointing at his chest for emphasis, Landon stops and collects himself. MADDIX You didn't realise, with all these dreams of being World Champion all of a sudden in your head, you were a [i]somebody[/i] when you were with Landon Maddix. Together, we made a great team. We won Tag Team Titles in the SWF. And we dominated the OAOAST as a part of The Wildcards. But something got inside your head and suddenly, you couldn't settle for second best. You couldn't see the big picture. Todd, you're good. But I'm great. And you couldn't stay by my side knowing that. I had the World Title. And you couldn't stay by my side and accept that. It's a damn shame Todd. Because it's a lonely world out there sometimes and your chances of being that success story you long to be are fading with every day you're not associated with me! Landon smiles to himself again. MADDIX You believe that beating me is going to be the next step. And quite frankly, I'm sick of you dumping me on my head with that ridiculous 'piledriver' of yours week in and weeks out trying to accomplish that. So I'm going to give you what you want. One on one, you and me, Todd. But under one condition. MY condition! [i]When[/i] I beat you Todd Cortez, you will be back by my side, the way it should be. You have to do what I say, when I say. You have to tow the line. You're more determined now, you're more focused now, but you're still not the wrestler that I am. So when I defeat you, Martial Law will reign again. Peace will be restored between us. And you will achieve success, I promise you. Drifting off for a second, a gleam appears in Landon's eye as he looks back into the camera. MADDIX And one day, maybe just maybe, you'll turn around... and you'll thank me. Landon stands motionless for a second, before nodding to himself and walking off out of camera shot. Again we go back to Sofa Central. COLE And we can confirm that that match has been signed and sealed by OAOAST President AngleSault. It'll be February 14th in Montreal, right here on HeldDOWN~!, Landon Maddix to go one on one with Todd Cortez. And if Landon wins then Todd Cortez must join Cucaracha Internacional.

We abruptly cut backstage to a scene of chaos. The lone cameraman rushes through the hallways, trailing behind a pair of referees who are just catching up to a couple of their colleagues. Shouts echo through the halls as the referees try in vain to pull apart a fight, breaking out between no less than ZACK MALIBU and BOHEMOTH!! The four officials are far from enough to keep the two from throwing fists at each other. Zack goes low on Bo and tackles him into a wall, Bo trapping him in a facelock and getting in a few uppercuts to the ribs. CHIODA Guys come on! That's enough! Chioda gets shoved out of the way as a shot sends Zack reeling down the hall. But he quickly regains his senses and turns to go back after Bo, jumping up on the bigman with right hands flying! The two turn a corner and disappear off down the hall, the officials running off after them in the vain hope of stopping them. *back to the arena* SCHIAVONE Wow. A real situation brewing backstage... let's go to the ring. *DINGDING!* BUFFER This contest is a Los Infernales Conference Semi Final Match in the 2008 Anderson Cup! .:CUE: "Chelsea Dagger", The Fratellis:. The lights alternate between red, white and blue through the intro to the song, boos ringing out as Nathaniel Black steps out onto the stage. Black raises his arms in the air and stomps to the ring confidently. BUFFER Introducing, team number one. The number eight seeds in the Los Infernales Conference... first, from London, England. Weighing in at two hundred and thirty eight pounds... NNAAAAATHHAAAANNIIIEEEEELLLLLL... BBLLLLLLLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACCKK!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Black slides partway under the bottom rope so he's facing into the crowd, staring out at them with contempt for a few seconds until he bridges up to his feet. SCHIAVONE So Black and O'Hara in their second match as a team, if you can call them that. And as we saw in their victory over Los Diablos two weeks ago, when they're on the same page there's potential in the team. VENTURA But there-in lies the problem. It's not a case of trying to be on the same page, they're being FORCED to be on the same page by AngleSault! I know 'Sault thinks forcing them into finding some common ground is going to sort out their differences, but I'm not so sure. That kinda thinking might work in some nine-to-five office job, but this is pro wrestling. If two people don't like each other, let 'em fight I say! SCHIAVONE It's not just 'O'Hara and Black' though Jesse. It's Black's mindset to people who don't wrestle his way, who don't act his way, that he's trying to sort out. VENTURA What the hell are you talking about Schiavone? He teams up with a crazy Samoan and a guy in a fur coat! They're hardly his kind of people under your criteria! "OOOOOOOOIIIIIIII!" "Fix Up, Look Sharp" pumps through the arena and a man who definately isn't Black's kind of people, Jamie O'Hara, walks through the entrance way with a typical swagger in his step. O'Hara throws some 'shout outs' down the camera in front of him as he heads to the ring, virtually ignored by Black who goes through his warm-ups. BUFFER And, from Birmingham, England... weighing in at one hundred and seventy pounds... "THE BIRMINGHAM BAD BOY" JJJAAAAAAAMMMMMIIIIIIIIEEEEEEE... OOOOOO'HHHHHHAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAA!!! "YYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" In slides O'Hara, jumping to the middle rope to salute his fans and backflipping off back to the mat. Not appreciating the showboating, Black gets in O'Hara face and tells him in no uncertain terms to cut the showboating out. And again the referee is forced to seperate the 'partners' before their match has even begun. VENTURA See, I just can't see these two ever getting along. Even if they do win the Anderson Cup... even if they win the Tag Titles, there's just a huge clash of personalities that's not gonna go away. As O'Hara and Black continue their disagreement from across the ring, Rise Against's "Like The Angel" hits to remind them they've got opponents to worry about as it is. Out rush MARV and MEL, the brothers Nerdly fist-pumping out to the fans as two seperate rockets of pyro go up behind them, one orange and one blue! MARV and MEL then jog on to the ring. BUFFER And introducing their opponents. Hailing from Edmonton, Alberta Canada... total combined weight, three hundred and seventy pounds. They are the number five seeds in the Los Infernales Conference and former OAOAST World Tag Team Champions... MARV and MEL... THE CHRIST AIR EEEXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXPPRRRRRREEEEEESSSSSSSSS!!!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" VENTURA Fireworks, huh? Wonder if their 'secret advisor' had anything to do with that. SCHIAVONE Could be. MARV and MEL get the crowd pumped as Black ducks out of the ring to let O'Hara start the match. Still the disagreements go on though while the twin brothers of The CAE are the very model of continuity. A double high-five gives way to MEL starting out with O'Hara. *DINGDINGDING!* A show of respect from the two opponents does nothing to improve Black's mood, getting on O'Hara's case as he locks up. MEL quickly grabs a side headlock and sinks down to a knee to control O'Hara. Going down with the momentum however, O'Hara pulls out a front flip, over MEL's back and onto his feet to escape the headlock. MEL shows his appreciation for the escape as despite Black's encouragement to "get on him", O'Hara lets MEL up. They lock up again and this time it's O'Hara grabbing the headlock. MEL pushes him off into the ropes and a shoulder block knocks Jamie down. Off the ropes goes MEL now. A nip-up comes out of nowhere from J-OH though, allowing him to armdrag MEL over on the rebound. MEL then walks into a Hurricanrana, cradled into a pin by O'Hara... 1... 2... MEL pushes forward, putting O'Hara down on his shoulders... 1... 2... Rolling through, O'Hara jumps to the side of MEL and throws himself back with a Standing Moonsau... NO! MEL moves... but O'Hara gets his hands out and pushes off the mat and to his feet! Sidestepping O'Hara, MEL drops down and forces him over top as he hits the ropes. O'Hara springboards up to the middle rope on the other side. But as MEL takes a step back O'Hara fakes him out, landing harmlessly on his feet in front of MEL, backflipping from the mat and hooking his legs around MEL's head for a headscissors takeover!! "YYYEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" SCHIAVONE And that is what Jamie O'Hara can do like no other in the OAOAST. Great speed, incredible athleticism. Finding himself in a neutral corner MEL pulls himself up and stops to re-collect his thoughts. O'Hara meanwhile plays up for the crowd, again to the dismay of his partner. VENTURA That kinda thing's only going to get you so far though. And Black... The fans on each side of the arena rise to their feet in unison. Not for Jamie O'Hara though, but for the sight of ZACK MALIBU AND BOHEMOTH BUNDLING THROUGH THE ENTRANCE WAY!!! Zack and Bo are now being surrounded by at least twice as many officials and suits as they were before, having the same lack of success in pulling them apart as before. Zack is sent staggering down the aisle from big right hand from Bo, the bigman shrugging off the arms of three or four referees to get another shot on Zack. He runs into a right from Zack though, the two bundling into the ring apron as the action in the ring has abruptly stopped. VENTURA What is going on here!? SCHIAVONE Zack Malibu and Bohemoth, tempers have spilt over! They had to be seperated at AnglePalooza and it's going to take the same thing to seperate them tonight by the looks of it! VENTURA It's gonna take more than they've got at the moment, that's for sure! Bohemoth and Zack brawl around the ring as right on cue, another sea of official figures and road agents rush out from the back to try and get some control. The fight continues on unabaited meanwhile, as Zack bundles Bohemoth back into the ring steps hip first, sending Black into the ring to safety. The officials finally get a hold on Zack at this point, but he manages to break free, running at Bohemoth... who cuts him off with a knee and grabs Zack by the head, sending the referees scurrying... *THUD!* "OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHH!!" ...BEFORE THROWING ZACK OVER THE ANNOUNCE TABLE, RIGHT ONTO SOFA CENTRAL!!! Michael Cole and Coach help out the officials by scrambling for cover and running for the lives. But they needn't worry, as the refs finally get in front of Bohemoth and hold him back from getting any more shots in. [b]"LET THEM GO!" "LET THEM GO!" "LET THEM GO!" "LET THEM GO!"[/b] VENTURA Let 'em go some other time, we're in the middle of an Anderson Cup Match here! SCHIAVONE I don't think these two care Jesse. I doubt they're even aware where they are. The red mist has descended between these two and they're just worried about getting their hands on each other! VENTURA They're both sore because they're not going to AngleMania! Tell it like it is Schiavone! SCHIAVONE I don't doubt that for a second. And it looks like they blame each other for tha... LOOK OUT!!!!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!" The crowd go NUTS as Zack Malibu jumps from sofa to announce table and SOARS onto the sea of people in front of him with reckless abandon! Referees, officials, road agents and Bohemoth of course go down, everybody dragging themselves up quickly in order to pull Zack off of Bohemoth! At this point more reinforcements head out from the back, the LOCKER ROOM being emptied to keep the two apart (and that's a LOT of people!). Amongst them, Leon Rodez gets a hold of Zack's arm and tries to talk some sense into him, which is going unnoticed apparantly as Zack continue to try and wrestle free. Two-thirds of the bodies are around Bohemoth as finally Zack is restrained and the people around him start to manoeuvre him back towards the backstage area. SCHIAVONE I haven't seen Zack like this in some time. He wants to go, he wants Bohemoth! VENTURA And the feeling is more than mutual let me tell ya! There's a lot of hurt pride out there, a lot of tension brimming over. SCHAVIONE O... okay, we're going to go to a break while we sort this out. Don't go anywhere, our Anderson Cup match WILL continue once we've restored order... we'll... we'll be back! [b]*COMMERCIAL BREAK!*[/b] As we return from commercial, it's a thankfully calmer scene in the arena. Zack and Bohemoth have been carted off and the action has resumed, with MARV and Nathaniel Black in mid-flow. MARV goes up and over the roadblock created by Black, rebounding off the ropes and countering with a dropkick as Black attempts to throw him up into the air! "YYEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHH!" SCHIAVONE Welcome back everyone. We apologise for having to leave you briefly, but we've managed to get control and this crucial Anderson Cup Match continues on, as a tag is made. Controlling the arm with a wristlock, MARV holds Black in place for an axehandle smash from the top by MEL. Grabbing the arm, MEL then wrings it out into a wristlock of his own... but suddenly gets yanked forward by Black and turned INSIDE OUT with a Short-Arm Lariat!! "OOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" VENTURA That's gonna change the complexion of things. Black picks MEL up off the canvas and runs him back across the ring, into his team's corner. As he stomps away, O'Hara slaps Black on the back and tags himself in. Oddly Black doesn't seem too concerned by that and continues kicking away without getting on his partner's back. Waiting for Black to get out of the way, O'Hara then slingshots himself into the ring, coming in with a dropkick against the bottom turnbuckle on MEL! He drags MEL out of the corner, hooking a leg... 1... 2... No! O'Hara brings MEL back to his feet, before taking him with with a snap suplex. Positioning himself in front of Black, O'Hara then sets... and hits a Standing Corkscrew Press!! 1... 2... NO! BLACK Oi! Gimme a tag! O'Hara obliges and Black waits for him to get into position in the corner. Stomping MEL, Black then positions himself beside the prone MEL and sets, for a Standing... up yours hand gesture to O'Hara, before applying a chinlock on MEL! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" VENTURA Haha! There's some wrestling right there, none of this gymnastic crap! SCHIAVONE And you can hear which these fans in Cleveland prefer. VENTURA Well, we are in America. Style over substance, truer than ever considering we're in SuperBowl weekend. Fighting to his feet, MEL is abruptly chopped back down with a European uppercut from the European competitor. "That's how us English wrestle!" Black yells at his partner, before tagging in aggressively back into the fray. Shrugging, O'Hara follows his partner's lead, hitting MEL with a considerably less effective European uppercut. MEL stays on his feet, so O'Hara is encouraged to hit another one... but instead he sweeps out MEL's legs and hits a Standing Moonsault! 1... 2... NO! SCHIAVONE Two very different approaches, but the end result is the same, MEL in trouble. VENTURA Yeah, but I don't think Black's convinced somehow. As MEL pulls himself up, O'Hara crouches down waiting on him. SuperJay then takes flight with a spinkick... ducked by MEL, but O'Hara lands on his feet. A waistlock prevents MEL from getting over to make a tag. O'Hara struggles to keep a hold on MEL however, especially when an elbow cracks him up under the jaw. Standing switch by MEL, going behind and applying a full nelson. O'Hara squirms free of the hold and sits down, throwing up his legs looking to cradle MEL. But MEL catches him in a wheelbarrow and throws him up, back onto his feet, re-applying the full nelson and driving him forward with a Full Nelson Facebuster!! SCHIAVONE Face-first goes O'Hara, no way to sugar coat that! Sensing the same thing, MEL turns Jamie over and reaches back for a leg... 1... 2... Kickout! With the pinfall not succeeding, MEL heads for his corner to make the tag now. SCHIAVONE In comes the fresh man, MARV, looking to get over his Lethal Rumble disappointment here tonight. MARV quickly brings O'Hara up and lands a forearm. A second. And a third. O'Hara falls to one knee and MARV grabs a wrist, pulling him back to his feet and whipping him into the ropes. Around the world goes J-OH... and out the other side he comes, landing on his feet and hitting a flipping dropkick! O'Hara then rolls over to his corner, getting the tag out to Nathaniel Black. SCHIAVONE Black wasn't exactly stretching for that. VENTURA Doesn't matter, he's in and he's got MARV in his sights. As MARV picks himself up, Black catches him from behind with a Half Nelson Backbreaker!! Cover... 1... 2... KICKOUT!! With two handfuls of hair (something not going unnoticed by the referee), Black drags MARV right back up. A headbutt unsteadies the Canadian heartthrob. And a second, same effect, setting MARV up as Black hits the ropes... but the Lariat is ducked! MARV boots Black as he turns around and floats over, looking for a sunset flip. The 185 pounds MARV struggles to bring Nathaniel down however, needing the help of MEL with a running dropkick to haul the Englishman down... 1... 2... NO! As Black kicks out, Jamie O'Hara springs back into the match, springboarding to the top and wiping out MEL with a Springboard Somersault Seated Senton! SCHIAVONE You simply can't take your eyes off of Jamie O'Hara for a second! Rolling off of MEL, O'Hara waits in the wings as Black sends MARV off the ropes with an irish whip. As he rebounds MARV tumbles forwards with a roll, forcing Black to hurdle him. As MARV rolls through, O'Hara comes off the ropes in front of him with the Busaiku Knee Kick... but MARV ducks and [i]Black[/i] ends up getting the knee to the face! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" SCHIAVONE Uh-oh, a miscue there. VENTURA Or was it? SCHIAVONE Oh, I think that was unintentional Jesse. With Black down, O'Hara freezes for a second and gets spun around by MARV. A scoop and a slam only half succeeds though, O'Hara floating up and over and getting the slam on MARV. No prizes for guessing where O'Hara heads now. Up top, looking to fly. SCHIAVONE We could see any number of things from the top rope with Jamie. One of those being a punch to the gut, courtesy of MEL. On the opposite side of the turnbuckles from O'Hara, MEL stops him from reaching the top with shots to the midsection which leave O'Hara stranded on the middle turnbuckle outside. With O'Hara stunned MEL then climbs up with him. Both men are precariously placed on the middle rope on the outside, holding onto each other for support while they exchange shots. As this is going on, MARV recovers and quickly rolls back to his feet, climbing to the middle rope on the [i]inside[/i] and looking to help out his partner. VENTURA This cannot end well Tony. Three men in a very dangerous position! MEL and MARV get their shots in on O'Hara, but the Englishman lands an elbow to the gut on MARV. O'Hara then hits a right hand on MEL. Holding onto the top turnbuckle, MEL manages to avoid falling to the floor. He then reels back for a right of his own... but O'Hara has the same idea, both men punching each other at the same time and BOTH FALLING FROM THE MIDDLE BUCKLE TO THE ARENA FLOOR BELOWii "OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" VENTURA Something had to give and it gave right there. SCHIAVONE O'Hara and MEL just took each other out of the equation, in a big way. As they lay on the outside, MARV finds himself all alone up on the middle rope. Before he can think of climbing back down however, Nathaniel Black reaches up from underneath and Powerbombs him down!! Black stacks MARV on his shoulders... 1... 2... KICKOUT!! SCHIAVONE Only two, but with MEL and O'Hara out of the picture we may be down to a one on one match. VENTURA Which can only suit Nathaniel Black! Dragging MARV into the centre of the ring, Black crosses the arms underneath and sets him up for the Pyramid Bomb. MARV does his best to block the lift, dropping to a knee. Black is too powerful though and muscles MARV back up, throwing him up onto the shoulders. However he loses the arms with the lift, allowing MARV to float over the back with a sunset flip... 1... Black rolls through with the momentum and laces up the legs, deadlifting MARV up off the canvas for another traditional Powerbo... ...NO, MARV floats through this time, landing on his feet in front of Black. Hooking the head, MARV then trips out the leg, as MEL slides into the ring and connects with the Enziguri, Black then driven face-first with the Flatliner, sending him to the PEARLY GATES!! SCHIAVONE No, it's MEL, The Christ Air Express with a patented double-team move! MEL carries on out of the ring, as MARV hooks the leg... 1... 2... 3!!!! "YYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" Black kicks out a split second too late, O'Hara a split second too late getting back into the ring as well. MARV jumps up and embraces MEL, the brothers Nerdly having their hands raised in victory as O'Hara pulls himself up and wonders what happened. SCHIAVONE What a victory for MEL and MARV, let's get the official word! BUFFER Your winners of the match, advancing to the Los Infernales Conference Final... THE CHRIST AAAAAIIIIIIIIIRRRRRRR EEEXXXXPPRRRRRREEEEEESSSSSSSSSS!!!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!" MARV and MEL leave the ring with fists pumping and eyes gleaming, while Black starts to pull himself up. Looking a little shaken-up still, Black shakes out his head and glares as O'Hara questions him over... well, getting beat. Clearly blaming his partner for the errant knee earlier, Black tells O'Hara to "back off". But as a chant of "LOOO - SER, LOOO - SER" rings through the arena, Jamie cheekily waves for the fans to get louder... *WHAM!* ...AND GETS A LARIAT FOR HIS TROUBLES!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" VENTURA And all bets are off now! Black staggers a little as he stands back up, getting his bearings before putting the boots to O'Hara. But as he does so, MARV and MEL rush back from the aisle and dive into the ring to make the save! Black quickly hightails it out of the ring, holding his head all the while as The Christ Air Express check O'Hara is okay. SCHIAVONE Nathaniel Black proving himself to be a sore loser once again. VENTURA That's got nothing to do with it. Black was told he and O'Hara had to get along as long as they were in the Anderson Cup. Well, now he doesn't have to worry about standing the sight of him anymore, he can just clothesline his head off! SCHIAVONE And I guess AngleSault is back to square one with Nathaniel Black. As Black marches off, O'Hara is helped to his feet by The Christ Air Express. O'Hara graciously shakes the hands of MARV and MEL and raises their hands in the air, with "Like The Angel" striking up again. SCHIAVONE And The Christ Air Express, two matches away from the change of a lifetime at AngleMania!

COLE As we said, the Anderson Cup Conference Semi Finals kick off tonight. For more information, Jesse "The Body" and Tony Schiavone, take it away! Across the arena we pan, over to the interview stage where Jesse and Tony stand with their backs to the entrance way. SCHIAVONE Thank you very much Michael. Just eight teams remain in this year's Anderson Cup competition, with one of those teams just eight and a half weeks away from the opportunity of a lifetime at AngleMania VII! This week and next will see the Conference Semi Finals contested. The Conference Finals on Feburary 14th in Montreal will determine the Anderson Cup finalists. And that match, for a shot at the One And Only World Tag Team Championships, will take place in St Louis on February 28th at the Leap Year Spectacular! Right now, we're going to take a look at the brackets and get some expert opinion from Jesse "The Body" before we get the action underway. [IMG=http://i261.photobucket.com/albums/ii59/KingCucaracha/AndersonCup.gif] SCHIAVONE There you see it. Jesse, your thoughts? VENTURA It looks real nice. Whoever designed it is real talented. SCHIAVONE I was thinking more regarding the matches. VENTURA Oh, of course. Well, you look at the Miracle Weirdness Connection Conference and you see four sets of former champions. D*LUX and Mardi Gras, former HI-YAH Tag Champs. And Wright and Moneymaker and The Sooners, former OAOAST Tag Team Champions. Four very accomplished teams. Over on the Los Infernales side, you've of course got the former champs, The Heavenly Rockers. The Christ Air Express... 'technically' they're former Tag Champs too, although that seems like another lifetime ago. Team Heyross were WDW Tag Team Champions and shown occassional flashes of brilliance here in the OAOAST. And then there's the wildcard of Black and O'Hara, who are anything but a 'team' and yet picked up a pretty convincing victory in the end in the first round. SCHIAVONE One of the tightest fields we've seen? VENTURA Yeah, not too many first round surprises, taking most of the top seeds through. I think what stands out to me looking at those brackets Schiavone... what if The Sooner Bruisers advance out of the MWC Conference... and what if The Heavenly Rockers win the Los Infernales Conference? Wouldn't that be something? SCHIAVONE That would be one heck of a final, no doubt. But the crucial question Jesse is, who's your money on? Jesse grins. VENTURA I think you got it spot on right there Schiavone. The keyword is [i]money[/i]. And my money is on the money! Theodore Moneymaker and Christian Wright to go two years in a row, ya heard it here first! SCHIAVONE Well, we'll see how they fare later on in our main-event when they take on D*LUX. But first it'll be Nathaniel Black and Jamie O'Hara to try and co-exist once more, against The Christ Air Express! Those matches to come here tonight from Cleveland.

The DVD commentary brings up a few good points actually. My opinion was pretty much summed up on the DVD commentary too (yes, I'm a nerd, shock horror) by either Josh Weinstein or Bill Oakley. As an actual stand alone episode of The Simpsons, it's perfectly good and the story itself is interesting. But it is a pretty 'out there' idea compared to most episodes. Most of the episodes that are a little different, you can usually tell before they come on. Shows like the Spinoff Showcase or Behind The Laughter, you know it's something different coming up. This one, it kinda sneaks up on you, just a normal episode and then suddenly 'what the hell, Skinner's an imposter, where did that come from!?' I think that's why most people who hate it do hate it. Which I guess proves Keeler's point. I mean I like the episode fine, I like the story fine, but I'm still not keen on the general idea that Skinner isn't Skinner, but I don't know why exactly.

What's so 80's about love? Love is universal, man. You just have to let it in.

Speaking of WCW Tag Titles and tournaments, how about the 'lethal lottery' tournament for the belts in 2000? That was a low point in tag team wrestling history, for sure.

I don't know what you're all talking about.

Not with Uma(n)ga in it, I wouldn't think.

BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen... it is now time... for the 2008 LETHAL RUMBLE MATCH!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" BUFFER Now, here are the rules... Over walks Howard Finkel for his one OAOAST appearance a year, to run down the rules as only he can. COACH Do we really have to go through this every year? COLE Well, considering the rules seem to change every year, then yes. FINK Earlier today, those participating in the Lethal Rumble match drew numbers from 1-30 at random. In just a few moments, those men who drew numbers 1 and 2 will enter the ring, and the match will begin. Every two minutes thereafter, another participant enters the match, according to the number he pulled. Remember, in the Lethal Rumble, it is every man for himself! Elimination occurs when a participant is thrown out over the top rope, and BOTH FEET must touch the floor. The one man remaining in the ring after all 30 participants have entered, will be declared the winner, and will receive an OAOAST Championship match at ANGLEMANIA VII! [b]*THE CHAMP IS HERE!*[/b] A lightning bolt hits the stage, sending a plume of smoke up into the air as "Know Your Role 2000" begins to play through the arena. The crowd rise to their feet as one as Tha Puerto Rican himself emerges through the smoke. Cracking out his neck and his knuckles, PRL takes a deep intake of breath before he begins to march to the ring with a determined look on his face. The camera cuts deep into the crowd, to a group of six fans clad in full PRL garb, all with ridiculously oversized comedy eyebrows over one eye and giving PR the thumbs up. BUFFER Introducing at this time, he is the man ASSIGNED the number 1 position in this year's Lethal Rumble. Competing in his fifth successive Lethal Rumble Match! He hails from San Juan, Puerto Rico! One half of the BAD BOYZ... "THE P.R MENACE!!"... ladies and gentlemen, he is... THA PPPUUUUUUEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRTTOOOOOOOOOOOO... RRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIICCAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANN!!!! "YYYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Tha Puerto Rican has another moment to himself to psyche himself up before he marches up the steps, scaling the turnbuckles on the outside and saluting his fans. COLE Last year PRL made it down to the final three. But he faces perhaps the fight of his life here tonight in order to match and he will hope better that accomplishment. Not only has Stephen Joseph Popick used his Corporate Connections to make sure PR starts the match off as the number one entrant, but he's also convinced Vitamin X to part with one million dollars of his money by way of a bounty on the head of Tha Puerto Rican! COACH And remember a couple of years ago, when Zack Malibu had the bounty on his head? Did he win the Lethal Rumble? COLE No he did not. COACH Exactly. And that wasn't half the reward that's on offer to twenty nine superstars this time around! Let's face it, when Popick wants something done, he does it right. Just like his acquisition of The Lightning Crew and transformation into the SJPC, he's got his bases covered when it comes to keeping PRL out of the World Title picture! Scaling another set of turnbuckles, PRL smells the electricity in the Philips Arena. Jumping off the turnbuckles, PRL tosses his sunglasses and jacket aside, readying himself for battle. COLE Tha Puerto Rican with the deck stacked firmly against him. But you know what they say about a cornered animal being at it's most dangerous. The number one slot, the bounty, the heavy involvement of Corporate members... they might just end up empowering PRL here tonight! BUFFER And now, introducing the man who drew number two! A buzz cuts through the arena, as for a moment there's silence. PR's eyes are locked on the entrance way as he crouches down, waving the number two man on. COACH C'mon, Corp, Corp, Corp... "Come on God, Answer Me. For Years, I've Been Asking You Why? Why are the Innocent Dead and the Guilty Alive? Where is Justice? Where is Punishment?" COACH Oh-ho... even BETTER!! "Or Have You Already Answered? Have You Already Said to the World, Here is Justice. Here is Punishment. Here.... In Me." "Punishment" by BIOHAZARD powers out, as does Brock Ausstin with a cold look on his face. Brock does the 'Happy Happy Hoss Dance' in the aisle before heading right for a dejected PRL. BUFFER From Victoria, Minnessota... tonight, making his SIXTH consecutive Lethal Rumble appearance... "THE CURRENT BIG THING" in professional sports... BBRRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOCK... AAAAAUUUUUUUSSSSSSSTTIIIIIIIIIIIINN!!!! COLE Brock, a real Lethal Rumble veteran! He reached the final five in both 04 and 06! And in the past two years, he's eliminated a total of six men! COACH You're not going to be like this all night, are you? In one impressive leap, Brock jumps from the arena floor to the ring apron... but as soon as he steps inside the ring, he gets jumped by PRL!! *DINGDINGDING!* Realising he has to act and act quickly, PRL clubs away on Brock before he knows what's hit him. Forearm after forearm rains down on Brock, only stopped for the occassional kick to the ribs to go with it. That is until Brock suddenly muscles up and picks PRL over his shoulder, charging him back into a corner with a ring shaking shoulder drive!! COLE No surprise, Brock Ausstin coming out here in top gear. No holding back, no worries of conserving energy for later on. COACH And he's got two minutes, just him and PRL. Two minutes to bag himself a cool million! Trapped in the corner, PRL is too winded to do much except try and choke Brock out with a front facelock. Brock simply shrugs PR off though, before driving his shoulder into the ribs! And again! A third time, PRL falling against the bottom turnbuckle as Brock backs away doing his Happy Happy Hoss Dance again! "P - R!" "P - R!" "P - R!" "P - R!" Sucking wind, Tha Puerto Rican uses the ropes to pull him up but soon regrets doing so as Brock comes charging back in with a clothesline to flatten him again. COLE Brock, 290 pounds of pure power! COACH Okay, calm down JR. COLE :huh: Brock pulls Tha Puerto Rican back to his feet. The moment he fills a hand sink around his neck though, PRL goes deadweight to the canvas refusing to be thrown over the top. Brock doesn't seem too concerned and nails PRL with a right hand. Away crawls Tha Puerto Rican into a corner, possibly luring Brock in as he catches him with a shot to the gut as he approaches. PRL then unloads with a succession of Rock style punches, the crowd roaring him on as he starts to back Brock up, step by step, getting him into the middle of the ring before kissin' the left... BLOCKED, Brock catching the arm and then scything PRL down with an STO!! "OOOOHHHHHHHHHH!" The Current Big Thing pulls himself back up and stomps away, while the Lethal Rumble Countdown begins in earnest for the first time. "TEN!" "NINE!" "EIGHT!" COLE We're about to get our third entrant here. "SEVEN!" "SIX!" Brock seems happy to bide his time now, picking PRL up only to drop him with another right hand. "FIVE!" "FOUR!" "THREE!" "TWO!" "ONE!" [i]*BBZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZTTT!*[/i] A collective groan goes up as "Money Talks" hits and The Enterprise's CEO himself, Theodore Moneymaker, makes his second appearance of the night. COLE No wonder Moneymaker didn't look happy earlier on! COACH That's okay. It just gives him more of a chance to become even richer by eliminating PRL! Not that he needs it of course, but as the song says, Money Talks! The Billion Dollar Heir takes his time getting to the ring, watching the action in the ring carefully. Brock glances his way and Moneymaker waves for him to "carry on" while he slowly takes off his smoking jacket on the outside. COLE Now, Moneymaker had a match how long ago? Did he really need the jacket? COACH Spoke like a man with a distinct lack of class. As Moneymaker finally removes his entrance garb and walks up the steps, Brock has just whipped PRL into a corner and catches him bouncing out with a shoulder block. Brock then turns and makes a move towards Moneymaker, but the quick thinking Billion Dollar Heir backtracks around the ring, giving Brock the "money fingers" as he stalks after him. It doesn't take Brock long to get the message, especially when Moneymaker catches PRL coming off the mat, pinning his arms behind his back to give Ausstin a free shot. Which he takes. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COACH Haha! Brilliant Teddy, brilliant. COLE Didn't take Theodore Moneymaker long to make friends in his first Lethal Rumble. COACH That's the power of money in full display right there. Moneymaker spins PRL around once Brock's had his shots, dropping The PR Menace with a hard uppercut. Turning to the crowd, Teddy then makes the "money fingers" taunt again with a braying laugh. Looking dazed, Tha Puerto Rican sits up but gets an elbow to the back of the head from Brock. Ausstin drops to a knee and locks on a front chancre, wearing PRL out yet further. As he does this though, Moneymaker walks around gloating... and suddenly RAKES BROCK'S FACE!! COACH Oh no Teddy, why!? MONEYMAKER THAT'S RIGHT! YOU STUPID PEONS BETTER REALISE, I'M THE MAN, I'M THE ONLY WINNE... Suddenly trailing off, Moneymaker realises Brock is stalking behind him and slowly turns around. His attempts to reason with Brock and remind him of the 'money' fail this time. *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" Realising his hope of reasoning with Brock is lost, he chops him. *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" Again! *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" And a third time. Brock just stands there and flexes his pecs, clearly not affected. So Teddy does the only thing he can... drops to his knees and begs for his life! COLE Oh yeah! Let's see where your money gets you now! By Moneymaker's curled locks Brock picks him up to his feet, punching the begging billionaire right in the face! Another punch lands. And a third, Brock then whipping Moneymaker into a corner. Brock follows after him with a big clothesline, sending spit flying into the seventh row on impact!! Teddy falls forward, held up by Brock, who pushes him back against the turnbuckles for some more shoulder charges, buried into the gut of Theodore and leaving him gasping for breath. Another irish whip sends Moneymaker corner to corner, Brock following in... and eating a raised knee from the resourceful Moneymaker! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" As soon as the relieved Teddy brushes past Brock and exits the corner though, he walks right into a Puerto Rican clothesline! "YYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" COLE Man, big knockdown by PRL. And look at this, going straight after Ausstin! With a grip around the tree trunk like thigh of Brock Ausstin, PR starts to try and muscle him of the mat and towards a possible elimination. He gets Brock to his feet and starts to tip him against the ropes, having trouble actually lifting him up at this point however. Meanwhile, the Lethal Rumble clock ticks it's way down again... "TEN!" "NINE!" "EIGHT!" "SEVEN!" "SIX!" "FIVE!" PRL continues to try and muscle up Brock in this time. Getting to his feet, Moneymaker nurses his jaw and a bruised ego, but all the same realises the big threat and lends PRL a hand! "FOUR!" "THREE!" "TWO!" "ONE!" Once he realises they're getting nowhere fast though, Moneymaker turns around and pops PRL with a right hand... [i]*BBZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZTTT!*[/i] ...and the smile returns to his face, as Jay Z's "Success" hits. COACH And this is great news for Theodore Moneymaker. CPA, in at #4! The Director Of Security for The Enterprise slowly makes his way to the ring, picking up a little speed once he sees Moneymaker laying the leather in on Brock Aussin. He hits the ring just as Brock starts fighting back with body shots, blindsighting Brock with a double axehandle to the back. COLE Well, as we said Theodore didn't look too pleased with his and CPA's draw earlier on. But although on paper #3 and #4 isn't great, with numbers so close together it could turn out to be a real stroke of luck, because it allows them to work together on the rest of the field. COACH Brilliant strategy, as always, from The Enterprise. COLE How is it 'brilliant strategy'!? They picked the number out of a tumbler at random! CPA and Moneymaker work over Brock, before Moneymaker peels away to catch PRL. A boot to the gut cuts him off and allows Moneymaker to turn around and throw him over the top... but Tha Puerto Rican grabs the top rope on the way towards them! With PRL hanging across the top, Moneymaker tries a couple of times to force him the rest of the way over, but to no avail as PRL kicks his feet back to safety. Teddy doesn't dwell on the disappointment for long though, pressing PR's throat against the middle rope and choking away. Behind him meanwhile, CPA starts to try and force Brock up and out. Moneymaker eventually spots this and comes over to help out his employee. COLE They've got Brock teetering here. Desperately hanging on, Brock is eventually saved by PRL who walks up and DOUBLE NOGGIN' KNOCKERS Moneymaker and CPA! COACH Now why did he do that!? COLE Well if Brock goes now, that leaves PRL alone with The Enterprise which wouldn't be a great situation to be in. In any walk of life. With his pick of three, PRL goes after the fresh man CPA with some kicks. Backing him into a corner PRL changes up to punches until he gets shoved away by the ex-boxer. Tha Puerto Rican rolls right through though, before catching CPA coming out of the corner with a standing dropkick. Moneymaker has Brock pounding away on him in the corner now as well. And he staggers out of the corner, walking into an Overhead Belly To Belly sending him flying across the ring! Both Enterprise members are down... at which point, Brock turns his attentions back to PRL, spinning him around and lifting him up for thr F-STUNNER-5! COACH YES! YES, DO IT! DO IT YOU BAH GAWD HOSS YOU! Tha Puerto Rican squirms around like a madman though, until he manages to slide off the shoulder and down the back! Brock turns around with a big swing of the arm. PRL ducks though, sweeping Brock's legs and putting the spine on the pine in the middle of the ring! "YYYEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" COLE We're not wasting any time tonight Coach! It looks like it may be time! COACH This is ridiculous, does he really have to do this in the middle of the Lethal Rumble of all places? PRL removes his right elbow pad, spits on it, and throws it down onto Ausstin's face. He then does some weird hand signals, and then bounces off the ropes, leaps over Brock, and then bounces off the opposite ropes. S l o w i n g down, PRL then taunts Brock with his own interpretation of the 'Happy Happy Hoss Dance' before he drops the IntenseZone Elbow to a big pop from the crowd! "YYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Here comes the Puerto Rican pain! Up jumps Tha Puerto Rican. But he doesn't have too much time to celebrate, as Theodore Moneymaker and CPA suddenly dive out from the proverbial weeds and pounce on PRL now that his theatrics are over with. COLE We're winding down again! Two men have won from #5 in the past, will this man be able to make it three? "SIX!" "FIVE!" "FOUR!" "THREE!" "TWO!" "ONE!" [i]*BBZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZTTT!*[/i] *BbwWbAhmotherfuckerLlIiiBbbEErRrAATtTeeyYyOUUurRrMmmMmMiIInNnDddDd!!* "YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" COLE OH MY GOD! Atlanta truly becomes HOTlanta as there's a positive [i]eruption[/i] for BOHEMOTH! COLE One of the odds-on favourites, a man on a real hot streak! The Meterosexual Monster jogs to the ring, prompting Moneymaker to pull CPA off of PRL and get him ready to meet the fellow bigman. COLE The roof has blown off of this place! And the ring may get blown apart any second! Sliding in, Bo gets to his feet just in time to meet CPA, stunning him with a right hand. Bo quickly drops Moneymaker with a big right. A shot to the back of PRL. A right hand for Brock, sending him staggering into a corner. In rushes CPA with his hands clenched for a double axehandle, but he runs into a boot to the gut. Bo then unloads on the Directory Of Security with right after right until Allen is out on his feet, a quick shove in the chest creating space for Bohemoth to take a step back and knock CPA down with a clothesline!! COACH Woah! COLE Down goes CPA, Bohemoth is rolling! As Bo fires up, Brock comes charging at him but suffers the same fate as CPA, clotheslined to the canvas. Unlike CPA though, Brock is immediately hauled back up and pitched by the head, over the top... and to the apron only, Brock able to save himself on the way over! COLE A close call for Brock, he's a big, powerful guy but he's also got the agility and athleticism to catch himself like that and avoid an elimination. Bohemoth seems unaware of Brock's save, as he picks a new target. Picking himself up, around staggers PRL, unaware of what's waiting behind him as he gets goozled by The Meterosexual Monster!! Suddenly the crowd don't know what to do, a good proportion going from roaring Bohemoth on to screaming at him not to do it... as he gorilla presses Tha Puerto Rican high over his head! COLE Bohemoth's got PRL! COACH YES! THROW HIM! COLE This is about the bounty, this is about AngleMania VII! COACH Throw him out Bo, what loyalty do you have to him!? None! None at all! Whether Bo was planning to throw PRL just down or down and out we'll never know however, as over sneaks Theodore Moneymaker to kick Bohemoth right in the back of the knee! Bohemoth crumbles and PRL comes down hard next to him, as Moneymaker stomps away at whatever he can get his feet to. COACH Ah, Tha Puerto Rican dodged a real bullet right there. He was gone and he knew it! Moneymaker leaves Bo and PRL in order to take care of his security, or more specifically his Director Of Security as he helps him back to his feet. No orders needed, the raging Allen marching over and putting a beatdown on Bohemoth while Moneymaker quickly jabs Brock in the throat with his palm before going back over to Tha Puerto Rican. "TEN!" "NINE!" "EIGHT!" "SEVEN!" "SIX!" "FIVE!" "FOUR!" "THREE!" "TWO!" "ONE!" [i]*BBZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZTTT!*[/i] *KA-CHING~!* *Come and take your Vitamin X.* "Bling-Bling" by The B.G. featuring The Big Tymers and Hot Boys starts playing and the first Corporation entrant of the 2008 Lethal Rumble, Vitamin X, runs out to boos. COACH Alright! Here comes the man who's going to eliminate PRL, and that's a money back guarantee, HAHA! X slides in and quickly avoids contact with Brock Ausstin. Instead he rushes over to Theodore Moneymaker, who doesn't take too much convincing to hand over control of PRL to instead help out CPA in his attack on Bohemoth. COLE Well, judging by my stopwatch Vitamin X has already fared better than he did last year. COACH Oh don't bring that up! Prince Vitamin stomps away on his former mentor, unsurprisingly badmouthing PRL in the process. As Moneymaker and CPA disappear off with Bohemoth in tow, with clear intention to throw him out across the ring, X then pulls PRL up. With an MMA style clinch X holds PRL in place while he drives a trio of hard knees into his midsection. X then releases the clinch and insultingly SLAPS Tha Puerto Rican in the back of the head... which could prove a mistake, as it fuels PRL into spearing Vitamin X down and mounting him with some lefts and rights! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" As X cowers and tries to cover up under the attack, Bohemoth is suddenly hoisted up across the top turnbuckle to screams from the Atlanta fans! COLE Look out, Bohemoth is on the verge right now... as PRL continues to wail away on Vitamin X! Wrapping his arms around the top ring rope, Bohemoth refuses to go over despite the combined efforts of CPA and Theodore Moneymaker. Re-entering the mix now is Brock Ausstin, grabbing a hold of PRL as he simply chokes the life out of Vitamin X. Brock gutwrenches PRL and picks him up onto his shoulder, rotating 180, before drilling him into the canvas with a brutal Powerbomb! "OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" As a spluttering Vitamin X looks up to the heavens and thanks the big man upstairs for saving him, the bigman downstairs known as Brock Ausstin gives him something to be less thankful about, grabbing hold of X's legs and deadlifting him off his back... into a Powerbomb of his very own!! COLE Good lord what power! COACH No kidding. With Bohemoth coming in, I think everybody forgot about Brock... big mistake! Bohemoth picks this point to save himself, reaching out and punching CPA in the head with a free hand. Moneymaker keeps the pressure on as Bo comes back to safe ground though, leaving Brock to take over on CPA, while the Lethal Rumble countdown winds on in the background... "SIX!" "FIVE!" "FOUR!" "THREE!" "TWO!" "ONE!" COLE This is entrant number seven... [i]*BBZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZTTT!*[/i] "Makes Me Wonder" by Maroon 5 hits, a loud screech of female approval accompanying out "Tremendous" Tyler Bryant of D*LUX! Jade Rodez leads her man out, leaving him with some last words of advice halfway to the ring before he sprints into the fray. COLE Another Lethal Rumble debutant, one third of the Six Man Tag Team Champions, Tyler Bryant! COACH And he's in there with the big boys right now, literally and figuratively. Tyler pops to his feet and heads straight after Theodore Moneymaker, no surprise there. Understanding the issue, Bohemoth steps aside and lets Tyler UNLOAD on a shocked Moneymaker with furious right hands in the corner! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" With the fans going wild for that, Bohemoth looks around for another fight and decides to interject himself into CPA and Brock's slugfest. As punches go back and forth, a makeshift team forms between Brock and Bo against Allen. In the other corner, Tyler sends Moneymaker scurrying for cover, following him across the ring and ramming his head into the top turnbuckle opposite. COLE He's paying for his sins right now. Maybe after the crap he pulled on Thursday night it wasn't too wise for Theodore Moneymaker to step into a match with 29 other members of the OAOAST roster. COACH You're dead wrong Michael. It's 28. CPA is still in there. COLE Of course, how silly of me. Picking themselves up, PRL and Vitamin X unsurprisingly go back after each other with a little less venom than before after their respective powerbombs. PRL is landing all the punches though and has Vitamin X regretting some of his recent actions no doubt. After a succession of lefts, X gets desperate and grabs onto the waistband of PRL's tights and drags him through the ropes and to the floor! Some of the dumber fans shout out for a second thinking PR is gone, but are soon laughed down while 'Prince Vitamin' follows after PRL despite the protests of the referees around the ring. COLE PRL went [i]through[/i] the ropes and not over the top, he's not eliminated. And neither is Vitamin X. COACH Yeah, let's get our priorities straight for the people! Back in the ring, a thumb to the eye frees Theodore Moneymaker from Tyler Bryant's attentions. He quickly gets away and backs into a neutral corner, watching on as Brock suddenly wheels Bohemoth around and lifts him up onto the shoulders. Caught by surprise, Bohemoth gets spun into the F-STUNNER-5~!!1!!!1 dead centre in the middle of the ring!! "OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHH!" Brock lets out a cry of dominance, Tyler Bryant finding himself next in his crosshairs. As Brock charges him however, Tyler manages to sidestep, Brock's attempted shoulder charge taking him shoulder first into the middle turnbuckle! Moneymaker decides the coast is clear and he and CPA quickly drag Bohemoth off the canvas, moving him over to the ropes and attempting to throw him out! "TEN!" "NINE!" COLE We're winding down again and Bohemoth is in trouble! "EIGHT!" "SEVEN!" "SIX!" As Bohemoth clings on for dear life, Tyler rushes at Brock and cracks him in the back of the head with the Shining Enziguri! "FIVE!" "FOUR!" "THREE!" "TWO!" Brock is clearly dazed but doesn't really go 'down'. Neither too is Bohemoth just yet, but now only one leg hangs in the ring and he is perilously close to being dumped. "ONE!" [i]*BBZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZTTT!*[/i] "Getting Away With Murder" hits and a HUGE cheer goes up for last year's winner, ZACK MALIBU, sprinting at full speed towards the ring!! COLE You better believe business has picked up!! Sliding headlong into the ring, Zack shrugs off Brock... *SMACK!* "YYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" ...and KOs Tyler Bryant with SCHOOL'S OUT!!! COLE That's one! Zack quickly runs across the ring and pulls in Theodore Moneymaker, unloading on him with a blitz of right hands to the delight of the Atlanta crowd! This also allows Bohemoth to right himself back into the ring, turning around and slugging CPA in the face. Moneymaker is reeling all over the place, as Brock Ausstin suddenly sprints across the ring, catching Bohemoth as he turns around... NO, Bohemoth ducks his head and backdrops Brock over the top and to the floor!! COLE There goes our first elimination! Brock Ausstin got caught with his hand in the cookie jar! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ BROCK AUSSTIN Entered: 2nd Left: 1st Time of participation: 12:36 Eliminated: None Eliminated by: Bohemoth Left in ring: Tha Puerto Rican, Theodore Moneymaker, CPA, Bohemoth, Tyler Bryant, Vitamin X, Zack Malibu ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Turning his attentions, Bohemoth picks up the lifeless Tyler Bryant from beneath his feet. Across the ring Theodore Moneymaker has suddenly got Zack in trouble as he locks him in the BANK VAULT! But Zack uses momentum to his advantage, rushing towards the turnbuckles and ducking his head to send Moneymaker face-first into the top turnbuckle pad! COLE This is chaos now, we've got action all over the ring, action OUTSIDE the ring... By the hair and the seat of his pants, Bohemoth walks Tyler around the ring, picking his side before hurling him high up and over the top!! COACH Bodies are flying! As soon as Tyler hits the ringside pads, he's joined on the other side of the ring by Theodore Moneymaker, clotheslined up and OUT by Zack to a roar of approval! "YYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!" COLE And there goes another!! There may not be a more popular elimination all night than that one, Theodore Moneymaker, gone! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ TYLER BRYANT ENTERED: 7th LEFT: 2nd TIME IN RING: 2:49 ELIMINATED: None ELIMINATED BY: Bohemoth ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ THEODORE MONEYMAKER ENTERED: 2nd LEFT: 3rd TIME IN RING: 10:51 ELIMINATED: None ELIMINATED BY: Zack Malibu Left in ring: Tha Puerto Rican, CPA, Bohemoth, Vitamin X, Zack Malibu ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ With PRL and Vitamin X brawling into the CROWD now with a referee in tow, we are left with just three actually in the confines of the ring. Bohemoth stands back as he sees Zack Malibu loading up the boot. Stomps ring out through the rest of the arena as Zack measures CPA, busy talking to Theodore Moneymaker from inside the ring. COACH Oh no, turn around, turn around! Giving the same exact message, Moneymaker finally gets CPA to do just that... *SMACK!!* ...and ends up with CPA dumped on top of him, courtesy of some SCHOOL'S OUT action!! COLE Unbelievable! CPA is gone, which leaves us with... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ CPA ENTERED: 4th LEFT: 4th TIME IN RING: 9:19 ELIMINATED: None ELIMINATED BY: Zack Malibu Left in ring: Tha Puerto Rican, Bohemoth, Vitamin X, Zack Malibu ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Hands on hips, Bohemoth waits for Zack to quit playing around with the fans and turn around. The moment he does a roar goes up, as Zack realises the ring is clear but for his old buddy Bohemoth. With PRL and Vitamin X still off in the distance doing battle, the showdown everybody wanted to see is about to happen as Bo and Zack square up to each other. "BO!" "BO!" "BO!" "ZACK!" "ZACK!" "BO!" "ZACK!" "BO!" "ZACK!" Those fans that aren't busy avoiding getting in PRL and Vitamin X's way are split roughly 50/50 between the two popular superstars. Finally, Zack is the first to strike... *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...cracking Bohemoth with a knifedge chop. A right hand from Bo soon convinces Zack not to try that again though, going low and shooting for the legs. Bohemoth is marched back into a corner but as soon as Zack goes to lift him, Bo reaches down and strikes Malibu with a hard shot to the ribs. Away retreats Zack, giving himself a moment to catch his breath before leaping up and catching Bohemoth coming towards him with a jumping forearm smash. COLE Man, I almost don't know what to say here! COACH That's a good thing. COLE Well I'll say this, we're under ten seconds before someone else joins this battle! Zack continues to throw the forearms from underneath, until a knee catches him back in the ribs again. Scooping Zack up, Bohemoth attempts a slam, possibly even an elimination, but Zack escapes down the back and executes a Russian Legsweep! "FOUR!" "THREE!" "TWO!" "ONE!" [i]*BBZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZTTT!*[/i] [i]"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHAAAAAHHHHHAAAHHHHAAAHAAAHHHHHAAHH..." "OOOHHHOOOHOOOHHHHOOOOOHHHHOOOOHHHH..."[/i] [b]*VVWWWWWOOOOSSHHHHHH!*[/b] Two giant WIND MACHINES are suddenly wheeled out in front of the stage and slammed on, drowning out "The Earth Song", almost knocking poor Theodore Moneymaker off his feet as he skulks off backstage and pushing against the entering Biff Atlas!! COLE You have got to be kidding me. Picking themselves off the mat, Zack and Bohemoth are both distracted by the sound of the wind turbines and don't instantly go back after each other. Zack instead watches on in bemusement as the OAOAST's Environmental Activist Biff Atlas slides into the ring, immediately zeroing in on Zack and attacking him with right hands! COLE Uh... anyway... Biff Atlas, in his first Lethal Rumble. And I don't think we've ever seen an entrance quite like that before in the Lethal Rumble. COACH No doubt, that was some hot shit right there. Zack soon fights off the former member of NRG, ducking a wild clothesline attempt and popping him with a German Suplex! Looking down at Biff, Zack then just throws his hands aside and goes back after Bohemoth. The bigman catches him coming though and scoops him up into his arms, at first seemingly for an Erotic Awakening, but then for an elimination as he turns towards the ropes! Zack grabs hold of the top rope and clings on for all he's worth while Bo digs in trying to get some traction to muscle Zack out. COLE The reigning champion is in trouble! COACH They're both in trouble in this position. Look at Biff! Spotting his ultimate chance, Biff Atlas shakes his head around to check he's not seeing things after that German, before rushing across the ring and grabbing onto Bohemoth's leg... ...and not moving him any more than a couple of inches. COLE Oh dear. Bohemoth rolls his eyes, dropping Zack who rolls out of the way while Biff continues to try and deadlift Bohemoth. Reaching down, Bohemoth pulls Biff off of him and upright... leans back and SLAMS the flat of his boot into his face, all with the same, nonchalant facial expression! COACH OH! UNCOOL! COLE Three words. Ho. Ly. Crap. As Biff looks up at the lights, Bohemoth looks over to Zack and mouths the words "do you mind?". Zack just shrugs and tells him to go ahead. So he does, peeling Biff off the mat and flipping him out to the floor. COLE Biff just got dumped like yesterday's garbage. Recycled, one would assume. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ BIFF ATLAS ENTERED: 9th LEFT: 5th TIME IN RING: 1:14 ELIMINATED: None ELIMINATED BY: Bohemoth Left in ring: Tha Puerto Rican, Bohemoth, Vitamin X, Zack Malibu ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ With that distraction behind us, it's back to Zack and Bo. A little more cagey now the two inch towards each other trying to time their next move a little more wisely. After a few fakes Zack shoots low for a leg again. Bohemoth manages to grab the head, but Zack torques on the knee to take the 6'7, 284 pounder down to the canvas. As this is going on, the camera cuts into the audience where all the noise is coming from, the fans cheering on PRL as he grabs a cup of beer from a fan and smashes it into the face of Prince Vitamin! Drenched, X picks his way through the fans trying to get away, with PRL hot on his tail. "TEN!" "NINE!" "EIGHT!" "SEVEN!" "SIX!" "FIVE!" "FOUR!" COLE And with the entry of number ten, we'll be a third of the way through this year's Lethal Rumble! "THREE!" "TWO!" "ONE!" [i]*BBZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZTTT!*[/i] [b]"PREPARE...FOR...LANDON!"[/b] [i]...WAAAAAHHHHH... *DUM DUM*[/i] "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COACH Here comes my pick! As "Megalomaniac" blares through the arena, Landon "La Cucaracha" Maddix strolls out with a typical confident smile on his face. The leader of the new Cucaracha Internacional poses his way down the aisle, as in the ring Zack and Bo continue to battle for control. COLE Last year's runner-up, the two-time winner of the SWF's Clusterfuck... and he's in no hurry to get into that ring with Zack Malibu and Bohemoth for company. COACH And why should he be? Look what happened to Biff. Landon reaches ringside and stares on as Zack applies a leglock on the mat. Having heard the buzzer, Zack is on his guard and looks out for the next entrant, locking eyes with Landon as he stalls for time on the outside. Zack dares him to come and join the party... and the distraction allows Bohemoth to kick him in the chest with his free leg! Away rolls Malibu, while Bo hobbles up, cheered on from the outside by Maddix who tells him he's doing "a great job". COLE [i]When[/i] Landon finally gets into the ring, we're going to have three of the odds-on favourites in there, not to mention another one brawling somewhere in the crowd and officially still in this match. COACH And let's not forget PRL either! COLE I was referring to PRL. COACH Then what about Vitamin X? COLE I wouldn't call him an 'odds-on favourite'. Although if he spends much more time running around this arena with his tail between his legs, I might just have to change my opinion! Backed up in the corner, Zack is subjected to some shoulder charges from the bigman Bohemoth. This allows Landon Maddix to slide unnoticed into the ring, standing and waiting for Bo to turn around before encouraging him to whip Zack towards him. But when Bohemoth instead starts to walk towards him with fists balled, Landon promptly bails out of the ring and asks for some more preparation time. "LAN - DON SUCKS!" "LAN - DON SUCKS!" "LAN - DON SUCKS!" "LAN - DON SUCKS!" Bohemoth goes back after Zack, pulling him out of the corner and setting him for a running powerslam. As he charges across the ring though Bo loses his grip on The Franchise, who escapes out the back door and grabs a waistlock, looking for a German on the big guy! Bohemoth breaks the fingers apart and turns behind Zack, throwing him into the ropes. Underneath a clothesline goes Zack though, springing up off the middle rope and twisting into a crossbody to take Bohemoth down! COLE Great move by Zack. COACH But it's not going to eliminate someone. If anything, it's going to risk you tumbling ass overhead and looking like an idiot when you hit the floor. As Zack starts to pull himself up, Landon picks his spot as he dives into the ring and boots Zack in the back of the head! The kicks keep on coming, until Bohemoth starts to pick himself up. Landon spots him too late and eats a big right hand, knocking him for a loop and sending him scurrying for the safety of the bottom rope. That allows Bo to go back to work on Zack, as the countdown winds down once more... "TEN!" "NINE!" "EIGHT!" "SEVEN!" "SIX!" "FIVE!" "FOUR!" "THREE!" "TWO!" "ONE!" [i]*BBZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZTTT!*[/i] [b]"HEY WAIT I GOT A NEW COMPLAINT!"[/b] Proclaiming victory before he's barely through the curtain, Synth Esizer leads The Heavenly Rockers' charge in the Lethal Rumble. COACH The hits just keep on coming! In slides Synth, his confidence taking a huge dent the moment Bohemoth's fist pops him in the mouth I'm sure! Synth pops right back up to take the fight to Bo though, even if he doesn't fare so well. COLE And this is Synth's first Lethal Rumble, believe it or not. He was supposed to enter back in 2006 of course but got jumped on his way to the ring by Reject and was unable to take any further part. He's in this year though, to the delight of... well, few. COACH You're an ass, you know that? As Bohemoth works away on Synth, Maddix emerges from the corner and picks up where Bo had left off on Zack. Picking Zack up, Landon snapmares him right back down to the canvas and kicks him HARD in the base of the spine! Around writhes Zack... even more so when a second kick lands. Bohemoth has Synth in trouble in the corner by now. Spotting this, Maddix jumps onto the middle rope behind Bo and gouges away at the eyes while Synth pulls himself back inside. *THUD!* COLE Well, there's Vitamin X. Having been hurled over the barricade, X lands with the above thud on the arena floor with PRL climbing over the barrier after him. Still referee Mike Chioda is desperately trying to convince them both to get back into the ring, PRL threatening to take a backhand swipe at him to send him scurrying for cover. COLE Vitamin X is carrying the can for the Corporation right now. He put the bounty on the head of Tha Puerto Rican, I wonder if this beating is going to be worth the $1,000,000? COACH It will be, so long as PRL is eliminated. That's all that matters. COLE That's a little short-sighted from Popick's point of view though, surely? He should be worried about whoever it is that wins the Rumble, no matter who that may be. COACH And he will. Once PRL is gone. As PRL stalks X on the floor, in the ring Landon has Bohemoth tied up, allowing Synth to take some free shots. Landon follows them up with a straight kick to the chest which echoes around the arena. Smugly Maddix poses with arms outstretched, Synth also playing to the crowd... both taking their eye off the ball and paying for it, as Zack charges from behind and grabs them both by the hair, pitching them over the top... AND TO THE APRON, both Landon and Synth able to save themselves by the skins of their teeth!! Certainly a close call though. Zack quickly stomps Maddix in an attempt to knock him to the floor on the second attempt, but Landon is judged safely back by the referees on the floor. As Synth climbs back in, Bohemoth clubs him with a right hand. And in the background to all this, Vitamin X is finally thrown back into the ring by PRL, only to catch PR sliding in with a cheapshot to the back of the head! "TEN!" "NINE!" "EIGHT!" "SEVEN!" "SIX!" "FIVE!" "FOUR!" "THREE!" "TWO!" "ONE!" [i]*BBZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZTTT!*[/i] "Thriller" by Fallout Boy hits, bringing out one half of the World Tag Team Champions, Baron Windels! COLE Here comes a hot slice of Texan right here! COACH I... yeah. In slides Baron, attempting to make a beeline for Synth but getting sidetracked by Vitamin X dodging past him. The man he was dodging from, PRL, attempts to do the same. But Baron lays him out with a right hand as soon as he gets near him. PRL sits up dazed and Baron moves on to the next target, allowing Prince Vitamin to pounce on PR and choke at him with his bare hands. COLE Baron was in action earlier on and along with Jock Mulligan, retained possession of the OAOAST World Tag Team Titles. Will pulling double duty tonight have an effect on him though? Baron comes to the accidental rescue of Landon Maddix, as he clubs Zack in the back with a forearm. A right hand then clubs Landon anyway, before Baron tries to get underneath Zack and tip him out of the Rumble. Shaking out the cobwebs, Landon decides to try and tip Baron in response, which puts both the Gunslinger and The Franchise in a precarious position over the ropes! Across the ring, Synth rears back with a right hand across the bridge of the nose that has Bohemoth staggering backwards. But as he charges at Bohemoth, the bigman launches Synth skywards and lets him to fall to the mat with a Flapjack! COLE Synth was in the lights right there! Faced with the sight of Zack and Baron teetering at the hands of Landon, Bohemoth looks unsure of what to do. So he settles instead for Vitamin X, grabbing him by the collar and causing him to freak out. COACH Oh no! COLE There's a lot of history here! Vitamin X was responsible for putting Bohemoth out of commission back at School's Out in Hell In A Cell! COACH A few months ago you were blaming PR! Stop changing your mind... X was just following orders, he... he didn't know better... please put him down! Bohemoth obliges, putting X down, down into the mat with a Front SPINEBUSTER~! The X-Man's head bounces off the mat and he rolls around, while Bohemoth now picks up PRL. COLE I don't think Bohemoth's waiting to hear sides of the story. He's condemning them both to guilt. As Bohemoth pulls Tha Puerto Rican up though, PRL gets a sudden second wind. Jumping out of Bohemoth's grasp, he spins around, catching the head and hitting the Lightning Strike on the bigman! A mixed reaction goes up as PRL weakly sits up and looks pleased with himself. COLE PRL has been in... well, I say 'in', he's spent a while brawling around the arena too... but he's been alive in this Lethal Rumble for over twenty minutes now. And he's going to need to call on all of his reserves to make it to the end. Over in the corner, Baron and Zack have staved off elimination for the moment and Landon is sent to the canvas off a Cowboy Bebop elbow from the big Texan. Synth rushes over and blindsights Baron a second later. But his attack on his arch rival is cut off by Zack Malibu, pulling Synth away and attempting to dump him out of the Rumble! Synth gets his foot hooked around the bottom rope and hangs on, as we count down again... "TEN!" "NINE!" "EIGHT!" "SEVEN!" "SIX!" "FIVE!" "FOUR!" "THREE!" "TWO!" "ONE!" [i]*BBZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZTTT!*[/i] Once again the crowd are on their feet, as "Rock The Casbah" strikes up and out jogs Leon Rodez! COLE A great reaction for Leon Rodez, in at number thirteen! Will this be the year Leon finally makes the next step and challenges for the World Title? Into the ring comes Leon, met on entry by PRL. Immediately they launch at each other with a high tempo exchange of right hands in the centre of the ring that has the fans going crazy! Landon walks over to get involved but a right hand fells him, before Leon suddenly moves forward on PRL and looks for an irish whip. A reversal from Tha Puerto Rican sends Rodez in instead, but a drop of the head is mis-timed, allowing Rodez to put on the brakes and take PRL overhead with an Exploder Suplex! COLE That's going to do PRL no favours. Leon climbs back up, knocking Landon down with another right hand and shrugging as if to say 'keep walking into me and I'm gonna keep punching you, genius'. Leon then spots Zack still trying to eliminate Synth Esizer and rushes over to help his sometimes tag partner out. COLE The ring beginning to fill up a little again now. And a lot of big names, potential AngleMania main-eventers for sure, in there. COACH No doubt. You've got two former World Champions, two guys like Bohemoth and PRL who've been challenging for a while now, a guy like Leon who's got the potential to step up... and Prince Vitamin! Still Synth is hanging on, as Baron grabs a hold of Landon and reels him in by the arm. A boot to the gut doubles him up, setting him up for an irish whip... sending him into Vitamin X, who having just pulled himself up in the corner gets sandwiched against the turnbuckles. Synth finally escapes the attentions of The (former?) Usual Suspects behind Baron and weaves away, catching Baron moving in on Maddix and Vitamin X and chopblocking his right knee out from underneath him! With Synth down to attack the knee of Baron, Landon goes backwards, cracking Vitamin X with an elbow to the jaw and dropping him in the turnbuckles. COACH Woah woah, look at this! Zack and Leon! Attention turns to the good friends who have gotten into the every man for himself spirit of the Lethal Rumble and are suddenly grappling against the ropes, trying to get an elimination on one another. COLE There are no friends in the Lethal Rumble. COACH Yeah, especially not when one of them got beat a couple of weeks ago by the other! COLE Keep reaching Coach. Landon stomps away on Bohemoth as he tries to get to his feet, wisely realising it'd be smart to keep the biggest man in the match down. Next to him Synth is working over the knee of Baron Windels still, La Cucaracha happy to leave him to it as he now chokes Bo against the bottom rope. "TEN!" "NINE!" "EIGHT!" COLE We will have nine men in the ring, the most we've had so far, in under ten. "SEVEN!" "SIX!" "FIVE!" "FOUR!" "THREE!" "TWO!" "ONE!" [i]*BBZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZTTT!*[/i] [b]"HEY WAIT I GOT A NEW COMPLAINT!"[/b] Flying out of the traps comes the second member of The Heavenly Rockers, Logan Mann! Trailing behind him is Holly-Wood, with no intentions of turning back. COLE Here comes some help for Synth, although he's looking pretty good right now. Maybe it's for that reason that Logan first goes after Zack and Leon. He slides in and works over the midsection of Malibu with his patented jabs, before taking Leon over into a corner and throwing him face-first into the top turnbuckle. COACH Man, Logan looks fired up tonight. He's taking everything that moves, kinda like a night on the Heavenly Rocker tour bus! COLE Or so you've heard. COACH Hey, Da Coach is the only guy under 60 with a bus pass, if you know what I'm saying! [i]Now[/i] Logan searches out his partner, Synth Esizer with a hold of the leg of Baron Windels. Logan dives from across the ring with an elbow drop to the inside of the knee, before exchanging a double high-five with his tag team partner. After some quick consultation, The Heavenly Rockers pick up the hobbling Baron and shoot him into the ropes with a double irish whip. But Logan and Synth duck their heads and pay for it, in a big way, with a Double DDT from the Tag Team Champion!! Holly-Wood, who has refused to leave and is staying at ringside, holds her head in shock. "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" COLE A little bit of Percussion treatment for The Heavenly Rockers! And Holly looks on in despair... I thought managers were barred from ringside this year? COACH She's not a manager, she's a devoting wife. Big difference. Stepping over the bodies, Bohemoth drags Vitamin X up in the corner and lands a big right hand. Only the ropes hold X up, prompting Bohemoth to grab a leg and go for the elimination. PRL has a hold of Landon meanwhile, also aiming to put him out of the match. The action is all in the middle of the ring meanwhile, as Baron is suddenly spun around... *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...and chopped in the chest, to his surprise, by Leon Rodez! Leon attempts to charge Baron into the ropes after that. Moving the muscular Texan proves a tougher prospect than he thought though, earning him a Cowboy Bebop elbow to the back of the neck. COLE Oooh. Right to the neck and Leon simply crumbled after that shot, he's had neck problems in the past let's not forget. Infact they kept him out of last year's Lethal Rumble, if I remember correctly. COACH Do you have to process EVERY thought out loud? In moves Logan to move Baron the rest of the way back. He'll get no help from Synth at the moment though, as Zack takes him by the wrist and sends him to the ropes with an irish whip. Synth hangs on however and encourages Zack towards him. In rushes Zack, to a dip of the head from Synth... VERY telegraphed, Zack booting Synth in the shoulder blade, sending up and over the to... NO, Synth does go over the top, but comes back out the other side and landing safely in the ring! COLE Wow, Synth got really lucky right there! Zack quickly gets out of the way as Vitamin X is sent corner to corner by Bohemoth. The Meterosexual Monster then makes a charge towards him... but X dodges out of the way, causing Bo to crash sternum first into the turnbuckles! Down he goes, as X backs away looking mighty relieved. Relief that turns to dread, as he walks into a waistlock and a quick German Suplex from Zack! "YYEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" The fans pop for the prospect of more Germans. As Zack drags X back up in the waistlock though, Synth catches him in a Sleeper! Little does X know this though, still panicking about a second German Suplex. Reaching back for the head, VX sits out, hitting a Jawbreaker on Zack... which in turn drags Synth into the same fate!! COACH Look at that, Vitamin X is taking them on two at a time! What a man! COLE ...here comes another entrant. "EIGHT!" "SEVEN!" "SIX!" "FIVE!" "FOUR!" "THREE!" COLE Number fifteen, the halfway point here in the Lethal Rumble! "TWO!" "ONE!" [i]*BBZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZTTT!*[/i] "Renegade" by Jay Z and Eminem hits and out runs Reject, to a chorus of boos. COLE It's the former International Champion, Reject! Picking up pace, Reject slides headlong into the ring and quickly catches Zack with the EULOGY~!!! COACH BOOM! That's how you make an impact in the Lethal Rumble! Popping right back to his feet, Reject measures Synth... and hits him with the EULOGY~!!!! as well! Vitamin X doesn't escape either, spun around and dropped with the EULOGY~!!!! Reject still isn't done though. With PRL still trying to oust Landon and Baron and Logan jockeying for position in the corner, Reject focuses instead on Bohemoth. Still winded from hitting the turnbuckles earlier, Bohemoth staggers into the middle of the ring. Reject quickly sets, the crowd warning Bohemoth to watch out. A warning he doesn't heed, as Reject leaps up and snatches him into the EULOGY~!!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Reject stands tall in the middle of the ring and poses amongst the boos. COLE Bohemoth has been in there 20 minutes plus now. And Reject, the fresh man, has come in and changed the face of this Lethal Rumble! COACH No doubt, there's a lot of tired bodies out there and Reject is picking them off one by one! Next on the hitlist is Leon Rodez, pulling himself up. Reject crouches down and waits for Leon to walk his way, The Silky Smooth One still favouring his neck as Reject leaps and hits another EULO... NO!! Leon manages to shove Reject off into the ropes! Back rebounds Reject, ducking underneath a clothesline attempt and swinging a Spinning Heel Kick towards the back of his head. Sensing danger, Leon drops down, Reject whiffing on the kick and caught off balance for a moment. He recovers, throwing a roundhouse kick. But Rodez ducks again and catches Reject from behind for a back suplex, spinning it around into the Blue Thunder Bomb!! COLE It's Da Boom~! Both Reject and Leon stay down now, leaving just four of ten on their feet. Make that three as Logan chokes Baron down in the corner. Landon has fought off PRL now and is trying to hoist him by the tights up and over the top, to wails from PR's people. COLE Halfway through and we've got a lot of the big guns in the mix at the moment. Plenty more still to come too. Todd Cortez, 2006 winner Alfdogg! And let's not forget the man who won the Corporate Lethal Rumble this past Thursday, The Mad Cappa! COACH Oh that doesn't mean anything. COLE That's not what you were saying Thursday night. COACH Yes, but that was before The Mad Cappa won it, at which point it immediately became meaningless. The EULOGYed stars start picking themselves up, with Zack putting the boots to Vitamin X while Synth staggers over to a safer position, helping out Logan in beating down Baron. Holly-Wood is around at the corner screaming encouragement to The Heavenly Rockers. Back up too is Leon, taking Reject into a corner and stomping away. Over comes Landon though, dropkicking Leon in the back, forcing him into Reject in the turnbuckles and dropping them both. "TEN!" "NINE!" "EIGHT!" "SEVEN!" "SIX!" COACH I bet somewhere, Popick's screaming at someone to go after PRL. "FIVE!" "FOUR!" "THREE!" COACH I know I am! "TWO!" "ONE!" [i]*BBZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZTTT!*[/i] "Thriller" hits again, for the second half of the Tag Champions, Jock Mulligan! Jock rushes to the aid of his tag team partner, as Melody Nerdly marches with a purpose to ringside. COACH Now what is she doing!? There's no managers at ringside! COLE She's the Manager Of The Year, maybe that gives her special privileges? COACH Bunk! Utter bunk! Jock wails away on both Logan and Synth to the delight of the fans, dropping them both with right hands. A scoop and a slam plants Logan Mann. And a scoop and a slam too for Synth. Picking himself out of the corner, Baron thanks his partner quickly, before The 'Slingers take The Rockers and pair off. Baron brawls with Synth, while Jock and Synth slug it out. COLE This battle has been raging for months, The Lone Star Gunslingers and The Heavenly Rockers and it's showing no signs of cooling down any time soon! Stalking around, trying to pick his spot, Landon decides against getting involved between the two warring teams and goes after Bohemoth again instead. Bo is choked against the bottom rope by Maddix, pinning his foot in the back of the head. As Bohemoth fights for breath, Reject comes over and joins in with a foot of his own, making an uneasy truce to work on the biggest man and biggest threat in the pack. Another uneasy truce forms next to them, Zack and PRL stomping dual mudholes into the chest of a begging Vitamin X. That is until PRL suddenly turns around and jams a thumb in Zack's eye, sending him staggering away blindly. COLE Approaching a half an hour for PRL and he's still fighting, not backing down from anyone. COACH Yeah but he's tired. You can see it in his body language, he's beginning to feel the strain. Meanwhile, The Gunslingers combine on The Heavenly Rockers, finding enough space in the crowded ring to set up stereo irish whips. Both Logan and Synth reverse the momentum however and duck their heads for backdrops. Jock and Baron respond with boots to the shoulder blades and go for stereo clotheslines. Both Logan and Synth duck the lines though and Jock and Baron go charging into the ropes. Realising their position they quickly stop at the ropes, turning around into boots, doubling them over as The Heavenly Rockers throw up the TWIRLING FINGERS OF DEATH~! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Synth and Logan snatch hold of Baron and Jock by the head, Holly-Wood already cheering. Logan quickly spikes Baron down with the PERCUSSION DDT... but Synth wastes too much time and gets backdropped by Jock, ALL THE WAY OVER THE TOP AND TO THE FLOOR!!! "YYEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHH!" COACH AH! COLE And Synthamania will not run wild in the main-event of AngleMania! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ SYNTH ESIZER ENTERED: 11th LEFT: 6th TIME IN RING: 11:33 ELIMINATED: None ELIMINATED BY: Jock Mulligan LEFT IN RING: Tha Puerto Rican, Bohemoth, Vitamin X, Zack Malibu, Landon Maddix, Baron Windels, Leon Rodez, Logan Mann, Reject, Jock Mulligan ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Logan pounces on Jock immediately, while Synth flies into a rage on the outside! Referees go scattering as Synth suddenly makes a dive to get back into the ring, managing to get a few shots to the kidneys on Jock as he's backed into the ropes by Logan, before the referees manage to pull him back. COACH Man, Synth has lost it! COLE It's fair to say he's got a pretty short fuse at the best of times. As Melody makes the point that Synth should take a walk, that gets Holly all riled up as well, causing the girls to go face to face! COACH See, this is why managers are supposed to be in the backsta... Suddenly, the still raging Synth spots Holly and Melody being held apart by the referee and runs over, GRABBING MELODY BY THE HAIR AND YELLING RIGHT INTO HER FACE!!!! COLE HEY! HEY, COME ON NOW! "EIGHT!" "SEVEN!" "SIX!" The referees try and pleads with Synth let Melody go, still holding him by the hair. Neither Jock or Baron are in any position to see what's going on or do anything about it... as Synth places her in a front facelock, threatening to DDT her on the floor! "FIVE!" "FOUR!" "THREE!" COLE Don't do this Synth, come on! "TWO!" "ONE!" [i]*BBZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZTTT!*[/i] "Like The Angels" fires up and MARV of The Christ Air Express bursts through the curtain. Already getting a head of steam up on his way to the ring, MARV suddenly breaks into a full sprint as he sees his sister in danger, Synth backing up down the aisle towards the exposed concrete in the aisle... and THANKFULLY getting clattered to the ground by MARV before he can follow through with his threats! COLE Thank god for MARV! MARV goes crazy on Synth, clubbing away at him as things continue to spill out of control on the outside. Beaten against the guardrail, Synth reaches out and headbutts MARV in the gut to buy himself time to get away. MARV rushes right after him though, chasing The Synthmestier around the ring! COACH Leave him alone, he's not even in the match! COLE What!? With MARV still hot on his heels, Synth takes a detour and slides back into the ring. He immediately slides out the other side and back to the floor, while MARV scrambles to his feet... ...and gets backdropped out by Logan Mann!! COACH See! I told him he should have left Synth alone! COLE Agh! That stinks. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ MARV ENTERED: 17th LEFT: 7th TIME 'IN RING': 0:19 ELIMINATED: None ELIMINATED BY: Logan Mann ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ As Logan gloats over the elimination of MARV however, The Lone Star Gunslingers link arms behind him and run into Logan from behind, a double clothesline sending him up, over and OUT!! "YYYYEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH Now that's not fair! COLE That's karma! Logan got exactly what he deserved right there. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ LOGAN MANN ENTERED: 14th LEFT: 8th TIME 'IN RING': 6:26 ELIMINATED: MARV ELIMINATED BY: Baron Windels, Jock Mulligan LEFT IN RING: Tha Puerto Rican, Bohemoth, Vitamin X, Zack Malibu, Landon Maddix, Baron Windels, Leon Rodez, Reject, Jock Mulligan ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Extra officials have piled out from the back to keep The Heavenly Rockers apart from MARV and Melody, which is easier said than done. Logan is furious and The Gunslingers are distracted by the chaos on the floor, as both Logan and Synth are dragged away by the large number of official bodies. Seeing this out of the corner of his eye is Landon Maddix, tapping Reject on the shoulder as he boots away at Bohemoth. And as Jock and Baron try to make sure Melody is okay, which she insists she is, Reject and Landon rush up behind them and pitch them both to the floor!! COLE The opportunists, Maddix and Reject, they really picked their spot there. And we are down to seven in the ring now. As, thankfully, The Heavenly Rockers are being hauled out of here. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ JOCK MULLIGAN ENTERED: 16th LEFT: 9th TIME 'IN RING': 2:51 ELIMINATED: Synth Esizer, Logan Mann (co) ELIMINATED BY: Landon Maddix ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ BARON WINDELS ENTERED: 12th LEFT: 10th TIME 'IN RING': 10:52 ELIMINATED: Logan Mann (co) ELIMINATED BY: Reject LEFT IN RING: Tha Puerto Rican, Bohemoth, Vitamin X, Zack Malibu, Landon Maddix, Leon Rodez, Reject ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Reject and Landon look proud of themselves and Reject gets a pat on the back for his efforts. The makeshift duo then go right back after Bohemoth... who, back on his feet, meets and greets them with a big-time double clothesline that wipes them both out! Reaching down, Bohemoth picks up Maddix and tosses him aside, sending him flying over the top rope... and ALMOST out, Landon's feet hovering over the ground for a second or so before he uses his grip on the top and middle ropes to pull himself back from the brink!! COLE Wow, Maddix was that close to going. And after all of the claims and guarantees he's been making about winning the Lethal Rumble this year, he's got a lot of hype to live up to. Into a corner retreats Landon. Bohemoth meanwhile looks for an opponent and finds Leon Rodez walking out of a corner towards him. The two seem to take a second to notice each other but find themselves in lock-up, which Bohemoth uses his power to muscle Leon backwards. Landon goes to follow after them, but gets intercepted by Zack Malibu. COLE And look at Landon, stalking around, looking for every cheapshot possible. He's like a blonde Repo Man in there. COACH It's working too, isn't it? Defending from a low charge by Zack, Maddix pulls him up... *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...and chops Zack, hard! *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" Zack responds in kind... So La Cucaracha goes to the eyes! Landon stays on Zack with right hands, while the Lethal Rumble timer appears on screen once again. "TEN!" "NINE!" "EIGHT!" "SEVEN!" "SIX!" "FIVE!" "FOUR!" "THREE!" "TWO!" "ONE!" [i]*BBZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZTTT!*[/i] "No Chance In Hell" by Bradley Royds hits and the boos rain in, as The Cuban Wall slowly strides to the ring. COLE Our second of five Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation members. COACH Look out PRL, haha! PRL does just that, leaving Vitamin X beaten down in the corner and catching Cuban Wall as he climbs up onto the apron! Punches rock Wall as the tries to climb in over the top. Wall manages to shrug PRL off for a second, but Tha Puerto Rican quickly pulls up on the top rope, crotching Wall before he can get fully into the ring! The bigman collapses off the ropes and into the ring, where PRL goes to work with some shaky leg kicks. COLE Tha Puerto Rican, the number one entrant, has The Cuban Wall down and is going to town! Seeing his partner in trouble, Vitamin X pulls him up from the corner... and walks into a big left hand, knocking him right back down! COLE What a shot THAT was too! With the crowd behind him, PRL lets Wall up and tries to muscle him into the ropes with an irish whip. Wall hangs on though, pulling PRL in by the arm and driving him down with a big Powerslam! PRL kicks his feet in pain from the 285 pound slam, as Cuban Wall pushes up to his knees and just chokes the life out of Tha Puerto Rican. "P - R!" "P - R!" "P - R!" "P - R!" Help comes in the unusual form of Reject for PRL, as he comes off the ropes and strikes Wall in the face with a basement dropkick! COACH Reject just made a big mistake right there. COLE How so? Wall is big and he's fresh, if you can target him you damn well better. COACH But Wall's got three of his buddies still to enter and another one already in the ring. COLE Does Cuban Wall really have 'buddies'? COACH Well... no. But that's not the point. He should be getting rid of PRL, there's a million dollars up for grabs, kicking Wall in the face can have no possible benefits whatsoever. Reject goes after Vitamin X and stomps him in the corner, as PRL recovers. Having liften him up onto the top rope a few seconds ago, Bohemoth gives Leon a last shove and walks off. Leon hangs on and stays in the match, not that Bo seems that concerned, focused instead on Cuban Wall. He goes to pick the bigman off the canvas... and for some reason, PRL clubs him in the back as soon as he dips his head. [i]PRL[/i] then goes after Wall... until Bohemoth spins him around and knocks him down and out with a big right to the jaw! COLE PRL wants at the Corporation, but the last thing he needs is to make more enemies. As Bohemoth glares down at PRL though, a hand suddenly grabs him around the throat! Cuban Wall climbs from the mat with Bo by the goozle. And with tremendous power, he elevates him up and slams the 284 pound Meterosexual Monster down with a Chokeslam!! COACH The power~! Battles continue between Reject and Vitamin X and Zack and Landon, Leon recouperating in a spare corner. Wall leaves his battle to go help Vitamin X out though, clubbing away at Reject. Landon meanwhile has Zack hurting, kicking away at him while taunting the fans. Leon pulls himself back into battle and targets Cuban Wall, while the count winds down... "TEN!" "NINE!" "EIGHT!" "SEVEN!" "SIX!" "FIVE!" "FOUR!" "THREE!" "TWO!" "ONE!" [i]*BBZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZTTT!*[/i] "Oh No" by Mos Def, Nate Dogg and Pharoah Monche hits and out strides Todd Cortez! MADDIX :O Hearing the music, Landon freezes right in the middle of kicking Zack. Cortez kisses the gold chain and cross around his neck and hands it off before he exits the ring, right into a game of cat and mouse with Landon who tries to duck behind Bohemoth and PRL. A boot puts PRL back down though, Cortez stepping over him and circling after Landon, who finds himself trapped in the opposite corner that he started in and tries to reason with his former team-mate. With no intention of becoming a one night only partner of Landon's again though, Cortez grabs him... and gets poked in the eyes!! *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" A chop lashes into Cortez. *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" And a second. *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" Make it three, before Landon hooks on a headlock and rakes Cortez's face across the top rope! Away staggers Cortez holding his face, Landon quickly pushing up onto the middle rope and saying it's over. Cortez catches him coming off the ropes with a boot though, blocking the DDT and setting Maddix up in a standing headscissors... but PRL nails Cortez from behind! COLE PRL, again! What an effort he's putting in here! Landon scurries away and breathes many a sigh of relief at escaping. PRL lays into Cortez with left hands until Zack Malibu walks over, at which point they both suddenly turn around and boot last year's winner. Together PRL and Cortez whip Zack into the ropes, setting up a double team. The double team doesn't last long, Cortez hitting Tha Puerto Rican with a European uppercut before Zack even hits the ropes. Once he does though, he shoots back with a spinning wheel kick to knock The Urban Legend down. Zack is then felled by a Dropsault from Maddix, who stands tall and finds time to give a thumbs up to the hard cam'... before Bohemoth nearly decapitates him with a MURDERLINE~!! "OOOOOOOOOHHHHH!" Bo stays down however, suffering from the punishment he's taken so far. PRL is almost up, but seeing the chance to catch a breather he sits back down in the corner, throwing up his hands comically to the fans. COLE Bohemoth entered at number 5, he's approaching 30 minutes as well now. It's getting to that time where the luck of the draw is going to play it's part, our next entrant will be number 20. COACH And whoever number 20 is will be coming in with lots of weary bodies to choose from. With five men down on one side of the ring, the attention turns to the corner where Leon and Reject have a leg each on Cuban Wall. The bigman doesn't seem to be budging however. And Vitamin X recovers to fight Leon off, allowing Wall to escape Reject's clutches, knocking him down with a big headbutt. Wall and X then turn the tables and suddenly have Leon up, hung over the top rope and teetering on the brink! "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" Reject staggers back up... but rather than help out Leon, he runs across the ring and crushes Bohemoth with some ROLLING THUNDER!! The Silky Smooth One looks around for some help and looks worried when he finds none coming. His one saving grace might be the Lethal Rumble timer, watching it count down on the big screen as he clings on for dear life...

Yeah, we might call in you in that case. Thanks for the heads up. Card should be up by tonight, once I've cleared a couple of things with Toxxic. And just to clarify, this show will be the 14th of February and From The Fire will follow on either the 27th or the 28th. So this show'll be the lead in to FTF.

"PYRO: ^" got a legit laugh from me when I saw it. I stand corrected on Cena tonight. No terrible toilet humour, no equally terrible homo humour, no salute, only one 'can't see me' gesture. They just gave him a microphone and let him talk about his injury and be himself. I was pleasantly surprised.

So, speaking of NOT basketball, the show is 2/2, correct? Anderson Cup Conference Semi Final The Christ Air Express vs. Nathaniel Black and Jamie O'Hara No doubt there will be fallout from the Rumble as well.

From the Philips Arena in Atlanta, Georgia. 30 Man Over The Top Rope Lethal Rumble Match Winner goes to AngleMania VII Featuring: - Landon Maddix - Zack Malibu - Bohemoth - PRL - Todd Cortez - Leon Rodez - Spanish Fly - Cuban Wall - Mr. Boricua - Vitamin X - The Bone Thug - Thunderkid - Reject - Denzel Spencer - Brock Ausstin - Alfdogg - Reggie Lamont - Theodore Moneymaker - Synth E.Sizer - Logan Mann - CPA - Jock Mulligan - Baron Windels - Shayne Brave - Tyler Bryant - Biff Atlas - The Mad Cappa - A SECRET GUY! - MARV - James "The Pheonix" Cone send everything to patty

I don't want to come off like the typical 'Cena hater' by saying this, but I've got almost zero interest in tonight. Cena's promo will probably be the Same Old Shit as usual, another barrage of catchphrases and gay jokes from The Rock's old and tired repetoire, which is a frustrating waste of a guy who can cut a killer promo given the chance. Orton and Hardy... why should that issue be continuing? Orton pinned Hardy clean at the PPV. That should traditionally be the set-up for them to move onto something new. And JBL and Jericho's are just starting to get into a 'blood feud', so what sense is there in sticking them in a tag match together? Unless they end up getting DQed or brawling off to the back or something like that it really cools the feud down coming off of the non-finish at the PPV. Why would JBL or Jericho be content to just stand across the ring from each other and be held back by one referee, waiting for a tag, if they hate each other so badly? And HHH versus Umaga is a feud that just refuses to die, with the added bonus of Snitsky, who's one of the few guys who I couldn't think of one single opponent I'd be interesting in seeing him paired up with. Which just leaves Santino.

Same here, although now it's the other way around (it's natural now, when they work the New Alhambra it looks odd for a while with the larger ring, plus they 'debuted' a larger ring at their show last night which looked really weird in the tiny Hellertown venue). Probably the same for TNA too. I've gotten used to it. Exactly. It's argueable, with the current popularity of wrestling, which one would be more embarassing to most people to be honest.

Another favourite from A Milhouse Divided. Kirk: Sure. Divorce. Hey, you got it toots! And here's a picture even you can figure out! [draws a circle in a rectangle] It's a door! Use it! Homer: That's a door!? I think nostalgia plays a part in it. The Simpsons currently is far from a 'bad' show, if you treat it as a stand-alone episode in TV. But when you compare it to the older seasons... well, even the goofier stuff that'd get ridiculed today worked back then, put it that way. I was watching the episode where they went to the Ranch on vacation the other day and it was a perfectly funny episode. Didn't enjoy it as much as the older seasons and some bits were absolute duds (Maggie dancing to Britney Spears, the car kicking into the air like a horse at the end), but it was still a good show. And I don't know why, but The Moe Syzlak Connection song at the end always cracks me up. From "A Tale Of Two Springfields" (Season 12) Homer: Television broken? Bart: No. There's a badger in there. Homer: Badger my ass, it's probably just Milhouse. *crawls into doghouse* Milhouse ... Milhouse! *the badger attacks Homer: Yep. It's a badger, alright. Lisa: How did the badger do that without ripping your shirt? Homer: What am I, a tailor?

Clusterfuck is up, next card being worked on at the moment. Thanks to those who made the effort to bail us out at the end.