King Cucaracha

^ Ditto on all counts.

Brought to you by American Express Taped: January 24th, 2007 First air date: January 26th, 2007 (check local listings for airings in your area) Announce team: Tony Schiavone and Jesse "The Body" Ventura Lead corespondent: Tony Brannigan The special AnglePalooza Preview edition of Syndicated opens up with a video package highlighting the 29 announced competitors in the Lethal Rumble Match. The recent interactions in the build up to AnglePalooza between PRL, Mad Cappa and the Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation, Landon Maddix and Todd Cortez and Zack Malibu and Bohemoth are highlighted heavily, as are the likes of Alfdogg, Theodore Moneymaker and Reject who have already spoken of their intentions to win the Rumble. Tony Schiavone and Jesse "The Body" Ventura welcomed us to the show and hyped the big main-event, Internationally Known/Cucaracha Internacional to take on Todd Cortez and World Tag Team Champions The Lone Star Gunslingers. TONIGHT! The show started with a match stemming from last week though. The Christ Air Express took on Simon Singleton and Biff Atlas, subbing in for the still injured Ned Blanchard. ***The Christ Air Express -VS- Simon Singleton and Biff Atlas w/Molly Nerdly*** Clips of the endings to last week's respective singles matches played through the entrances, Biff and MARV qualifying for the Lethal Rumble at the expense of MEL and Simon respectively. Former rivals Biff and Simon struggled to get on the same page at the start of the match and their in-experience as a team showed as The CAE ran them ragged. The tide turned on a cheapshot from Simon, getting a knee in to the back of MEL as he hit the ropes and allowing Biff to hit a big Belly To Belly. Singleton took the lead for his team and got the unpredictable Biff in check long enough to cut MEL off in their half of the ring. The makeshift team got a little too adventurous though and a mistimed attempt at the Beverly Hills Blonds' Rocket Launcher missed the target, allowing MEL to get the tag. MARV cleaned house and it looked bad for Simon and Biff, forcing Melody to jump to the apron and run a distraction. Her brothers fell for it which saved Biff from a Happy Ending. But as Simon passed Biff the clapboard, MEL saved MARV from a shot to the back of the head and dropped him with a DDT on the foreign object! MEL quickly cut off Simon, as MARV then turned around and set Biff up for the Marvellousity (Pheonix Splash) to win the match! Winners: The Christ Air Express, via pinfall As Simon WEPT over his now broken clapboard, we got a timely reminder of the Anderson Cup standings... NEXT WEEK ON HELDDOWN~! The Conference Semi Finals begin... Los Infernales Conference: The Christ Air Express vs. Nathaniel Black and Jamie O'Hara Miracle Weirdness Connection Conference: Theodore Moneymaker and Christian Wright vs. D*LUX ***Denzel Spencer -VS- Worthington Steel*** A nice showcase for the Jamaican, going into his first Lethal Rumble. Denzel used his speed on the mohawked enhancement talent, rocking him with an array of kicks in the early going. Worthington got a brief advantage after avoiding a charge in the corner. But it was only brief, Denzel catching him with a quick DDT and following that up with a Scissors Kick. Denzel then swiftly finished Worthington off with the Carribean Compactor (Northern Lights Bomb). Winner: Denzel Spencer, via pinfall The AnglePalooza RecaPalooza was of the controversial ending to the 2003 Royal Rumble Match, won by Angle-Plex from under the nose of Zack Malibu. Thankfully, revisionist history means we aren't shown any clips of the riot that occured afterwards. Jesse: "Did we really need to see that again?" Up at the interview stage, Tony Brannigan's guest for the week was the International Champion, Felix Strutter. Ahead of the biggest match of his entire life, Strutter was pretty confident, even after Brannigan reminded him of his pinfall loss at the hands of Colombian Heat a couple of weeks ago on HeldDOWN~! Apparantly, that didn't count because it was a tag team match. Always a good excuse. Anyway, Strutter said that he heard Reject "whining" on last week's show and said that he doesn't whine. Instead, he'd go out and turn himself into a big star rather than waiting for them to come to him, by becoming the unified OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion. The HeldDOWN~! recap then focused on Theodore Moneymaker and his shocking announcement that not only does Krista Isadora Duncan have an illegitimate child, but he or she is on the OAOAST payroll! ***Mr. Boricua -VS- Blake Hamilton*** Jesse: "Odds on the child being Mr. Boricua? Eh, I'd say about a 1 in 150. Krista's a fitness queen, after all, I can't see her being into fat love." Boricua, the #30 entrant in the Lethal Rumble, made short work of his outmatched opponent. Very short work. An avalanche in the corner pretty much finished Blake off within 20 second, but Boricua dragged it out a little before finishing off Hamilton with the Latino Bomb and a one foot pin. Winner: Mr. Boricua, via pinfall Jesse and Tony took a moment to run down the AnglePalooza card as it stands. World and International Championship Unification Match, Stephen Joseph Popick versus Felix Strutter versus Colombian Heat; The 30 Man over the top rope Lethal Rumble Match for a chance to main-event AngleMania VII; OAOAST World Tag Team Championship Match, The Lone Star Gunslingers versus James Blonde and Faqu; No Disqualification Match, Krista Isadora Duncan versus Theodore Moneymaker; James "The Pheonix" Cone versus Jester 30 men. One ring. A shot at wrestling immortality on the biggest stage of them all. ANGLEPALOOZA 2007 January 27th(ish), Atlanta, GA LIVE on Pay-Per-View! (BTW, we were the ORIGINAL HD TV, fuckers) Ahead of the main-event, we got a quick reminder of two weeks ago on HeldDOWN~!, when James Blonde and Faqu stole The Lone Star Gunslingers' Tag Team Title belts after an unsuccessful title challenge. Leading to the rematch at AnglePalooza, but first... ***Cucaracha Internacional (Nathaniel Black, James Blonde and Faqu) -VS- The Lone Star Gunslingers and Todd Cortez w/Melody Nerdly*** Blonde and Faqu came to the ring with The Gunslingers' titles in their possession just to really rub some salt into the wounds. The referee assigned Charles Robinson had to keep the teams apart before the opening bell, with the Texans clearly still hot about the theft of their belts. Black started the match for his team and fared pretty well in out-wrestling Jock and then Baron. But a different prospect altogether proved Todd Cortez. An early Riot Act Plus attempt was nixed by Blonde however and the introduction of Faqu into the match shifted it into the favour of the former HI-YAH trio. The Gunslingers could only look on in frustration as Black and Blonde interchanged in and out with the big Samoan, using him to wear down Cortez before they tried to put him away. They couldn't seem to manage it though and eventually, Cortez got out of the Guilt Trip (Playmaker) and turned Blonde inside out with a clothesline! Jock got the tag and The Texas Twister tore through the opposition, even Faqu. The Tag Champions started to run away with the match and disposed of Faqu with a double dropkick before setting up Black for the Lone Star Lasso. A lowbridge from Blonde caused Jock to tumble to the outside though and Black rolled up Baron into a seated butterfly lock. Before Jock could tap, Cortez made the save, wiping out Blonde before getting close nearfall off of an Urban Assault (Sitout Chokeslam) on Nathaniel. As he set up for the Riot Act Plus though, Faqu blindsighted him with a thrust kick and a big splash for a close 2 count! That sent Faqu into a rage but The Gunslingers took him out as he went after the referee, following him to the floor while Blonde set up Cortez in the ring. He got out of a powerbomb attempt though and landed a superkick, before ducking a charge from Black and quickly drilling him with a Riot Act Plus~!!! which put the Brit down for the three!! Winners: Lone Star Gunslingers and Todd Cortez, via pinfall As Cortez started to celebrate his win, Blonde quickly grabbed the Tag Titles and made off before The Gunslingers could reclaim them. Blonde managed to get Faqu to leave, keeping the raging monster from going back for more, as The Gunslingers pointed them down from the ring vowing to reclaim what's their's at AnglePalooza.

We’re back and Funyon is busy telling everyone about the rules of the upcoming Clusterf*ck. "You know Mak, who here doesn’t know the rules?" King says as he’s bored by Funyon’s spiel. "There might be people who don’t know that you’re eliminated if you’re thrown over the top rope and both your feet touch the floor." Mak Francis replies defending Funyon’s explanations. "Oh come on, don’t you think the fans who bought the PPV knows that the winner will get a world title shot at From the Fire?? it’s not like it’s the first time that’s been done" King fires back just as Funyon’s explanations wind down. "Well now the fans at home didn’t hear them - are you happy now?" "Yes very much so Mak, very much so" the Suicide King says with a contended smile. "Ladies and Gentlemen it is now time for the 2008 SWF CLUSTERFUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!" Funyon yells, getting the crowd good and hyped for one of the SWF’s most anticipated matches. "Introducing the man who earlier in the night drew NUMBER ONE!!" Funyon pauses as he along with everyone else pauses to see who is coming out. The lights die down as they do for so many entrances, then all of a sudden 'Scientific Remote Viewing' by Cephalic Carnage kicks on as the strobe lights begin to pulse and smoke bellows out over the stage. The charismatic, enigmatic, psychosomatic MANSON~! steps through the smoke and heads to the ring. "I’ll bet you Manson is happy to be number one" Mak says "I’ll take that bet, first of all Manson is never what you’d call "happy" and why would he be happy about having 19 other guys to go through to wi… dang I think you actually made a decent point" King replies, dejected that Mak had a point after all. The Raging Bull quickly discards his jacket, then rolls into the ring waiting for the first victim. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN ENTRANT NUMBER TWO!!" Funyon bellows since he knows he really doesn’t have anything else to do tonight other than announce the winner. Again the lights die down "*sigh* it’s like we don’t pay the electric bill or something" King mumbles, annoyed every time his millions and millions of fans are denied a peak at the King. This time the silence lasts even longer than before… and we all know longer is better right ladies? Then just as the crowd has reached that certain point where any more is too long and any less is premature we get a ¤BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMM!!!¤ A resounding, Kraken waking, ground quaking, chair shaking, rumbling boom that hasn’t been hear since… "Nemesis?" Mak says in disbelief. The crowd boos as one of the Sports Entertainment secrets of the SWF’s past walks out through a cloud of green smoke. Nemesis an over 7 foot tall monster dressing in a glowing green skeleton outfit with a pair of horns attached to his forehead. Frankly if he wasn’t over 7 foot tall he’d be laughed out of the arena But no one laughs, oh no, no one laughs as Nemesis walks towards the ring. Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha. Someone laughed? Turns out that someone was Manson, laughing not out of enjoyment but out of anticipation of the sheer brutality of what’s about to happen next. As Nemesis steps over the top rope Manson gets up some momentum and drives his shoulder into the big man as he’s still standing with one leg on either side of the top rope. The impact doesn’t seem to faze Nemesis. Neither does a second shoulder tackle, but when Manson goes for a third Nemesis raises his knee so that Manson’s head rams right into it. "Cracking the coconut!" King quips as Manson stumbles backwards from the impact. "Manson actually did manage to beat Nemesis, one of the few people to do so if I’m not mistaken" Mak adds. Nemesis slowly steps over the top rope as Manson shakes off the impact and gets back on his feet. Pacing like a tiger Manson calls upon the power of Mansonosity~! To find a suitable angle of attack. First he fakes another tackle, then when Nemesis puts his knee up again Manson chop blocks the giant’s other leg. The first tackle doesn’t take Nemesis down, neither does another attempt to the side of the knee, but when Manson runs and bounces off both ropes then tackles Nemesis’ knee from behind the monster is felled like a redwood oak. WHAM!! "The impact of him falling shook the entire ring! Amazing" Mak says. 10 - 9 - 8 - 7 - 6 - 5 - 4 - 3 - 2 - 1 - BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!! "Call the Ambulance," by Busta Rhymes starts up, announcing the appearance of Sir. Marvelous’ bodyguard Tracey Bruner. Bruner steps through the curtains looking as cold and unemotional as ever even as he’s about to enter the biggest match he’s ever been in. At ringside he quickly removes his jacket and fedora and hands it to an attendant before rubbing his hands with anticipation. "Wow the collective monstrosity in that ring is unbelievable" "Imagine how surprised Bruner must be, he thought he would be the biggest guy out there and then Nemesis shows up." Mak comments. "Yeah I bet he’s happy to have a large target, always makes it easier." King replies. The giant Nemesis grabs Manson around the throat, clutching in for a Choke Slam. When Bruner tries to interfere he gets a hand wrapped around his throat as well as Nemesis lines up for a double choke slam of gigantic proportions. *WHAM!!* Not "double choke slam" wham but instead a double clothesline from Manson and Bruner wham as they both break free from the grasp of Nemesis and clothesline him over the top rope, flipping his giant frame to the floor. YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!! 0==============================0 Elimination #01 - Nemesis Eliminated By: Manson & Tracey Bruner Eliminated: None Left in the ring: Manson, Tracey Bruner 0==============================0 Nemesis grabs the top rope and pulls himself up on the apron, obviously not happy with the way he was eliminated. Before Nemesis can enter the ring Bruner and MANSON combine for a double boot that knocks Nemesis clear off the apron. Once they’re satisfied that the giant is leaving the arena the two men turn towards each other. Manson cracks his neck with a jerk, Bruner adjusts his sunglasses and then both of them grin with anticipation. 10 - 9 - 8 - 7 - 6 - 5 - 4 - 3 - 2 - 1 - BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!! "DOMO ARIGATO MR. ROBOT!!" "Oh god not this shit again" the Suicide King mumbles as he fears V34 of a tired old gimmick coming out. Out from behind the curtains walks a creature covered in purple fabric, moving in a jerky, robotic fashion. "Hmmm would you say he’s about five foot ten" King says, perking up a bit when he realizes what version it is. "I dunno, maybe" Mak says, not totally clear on why the Suicide King brought that up. Ghost Machine V2.0, for it is obviously v2 not the taller v1 or the much brawnier, smellier v3 walks all the way to the ring without even looking around, then when he sees Bruner and Manson duke in the ring he just stops and watches. "What’s the? Come on get in the ring" Mak chides. "Could be a malfunction Mak, why don’t you roll on over there and see if you can reboot him" King quips as Ghost Machine just watches the two men fight instead of getting in the ring. "He doesn’t want to get in the ring." "Correction Mak, he doesn’t HAVE to get in the ring, not yet anyway" the Suicide King explains. Suddenly everyone’s attention is diverted by the Smarktron flickering on and Commissioner Maddix appearing on the screen. "Greetings fans from all over the world" Maddix starts out "As the man who knows more about the Clusterf*ck than anyone else... you could say I’m the grandmaster of Clusterf*cking" "He certainly is" Mak mumbles. "I say we need more action! We need to get the next guy down here so start the countdown!" Maddix dictates before the screen goes black. When the countdown begins Ghost Machine cautiously slides under the bottom rope, trying his best not to be noticed by Manson and Bruner. "See he made it in time" the Suicide King explains. "Even with the shorter time between rounds as dictated by Maddix" 10 - 9 - 8 - 7 - 6 - 5 - 4 - 3 - 2 - 1 - BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!! PSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS-DUN-DUN DUN-DUN! "Oh this is just what we needed" King says as the fans begin to cheer for the multiple world and tag team champion Johnny Dangerous. Instead of holding back like Ghost Machine did Johnny darts to the ring, slides in under the bottom rope and... finds himself attacked by both Manson and Tracey Bruner while Ghost Machine stays back and keeps out of the action. Maddix on the screen once again "Oh come on now when I won this match TWICE we had more action than that, let’s have another contestant" "Oh come on he’s purposely rushing this match to make it harder for the people involved" Mak complains. "Hey if I can get out of here a bit early I may finally agree with something Maddix said" King replies as he checks his watch. 10 - 9 - 8 - 7 - 6 - 5 - 4 - 3 - 2 - 1 - BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!! And just like that the crowd goes ... numb with the entrance of Aaron Starr!! The newcomer walks out, looking and acting like this is any old match with a steady, consistently average pace. Once he’s at ringside he points without motion to the crowd, then WITH motion removes his jacket, walks up the steps and right into a right hand from Tracey Bruner. "Welcome to the F*ck!" King says as he laughs. Bruner grabs Starr by the throat and the arm and hauls him over the top rope into the ring to make him a legal participant and thus a legal victim as well. Manson lands a right hand on Aaron sending him careening towards Bruner who sends Aaron Starr back towards Manson with a right hand of his own. "I love a good game of "Rookie Ping Pong"" King says as the poor rookie is being roughed up in the ring. When Aaron is ping pong’ed towards Dangerous he figures he should join in the game and knocks Aaron back with a stiff right shot of his own. Starr is knocked into Ghost Machine who apparently isn’t a games application as he hooks both arms around Starrs waist and throws him over the top rope and to the floor. 0==============================0 Elimination #02 - Aaron Starr Eliminated By: Ghost Machine V2 Eliminated: None Left in the ring: Manson, Tracey Bruner, Ghost Machine v2, Johnny Dangerous 0==============================0 "Awwww party pooper" King comments as he tries to suppress a laugh. The count begins again, this time without an announcement by Maddix but the intervals have apparently been shortened in general. 10 - 9 - 8 - 7 - 6 - 5 - 4 - 3 - 2 - 1 - BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!! The first few notes in "Man in the Box" is enough the bring the crowd alive, Insane Luchador is the first man in the F*ck that the crowd can really get behind. The red and black pyrotechnics are still going off when IL leaps through the sparkling blaze, runs to the ring, slides under the bottom rope and then decides to jump on the back of the biggest man in the fight, Tracey Bruner IL!! IL!! IL!! IL!! IL!! IL!! IL!! Insane Luchador ducks under a lariat attempt from Ghost Machine, who walks straight into a Johnny Kick~! That has enough momentum and angle behind it to knock the masked man over the top rope to the floor. YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!! 0==============================0 Elimination #03 - Ghost Machine v2 Eliminated By: Johnny Dangerous Eliminated: Aaron Starr Left in the ring: Left in the ring: Manson, Tracey Bruner, Johnny Dangerous, Insane Luchador 0==============================0 Ghost Machine slaps the ground in frustration, then looks up as the timer counts down, as if he realized something. Then he sprints down the aisle and through the curtains before the countdown can hit zero. 10 - 9 - 8 - 7 - 6 - 5 - 4 - 3 - 2 - 1 - BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!! Since there are four men fighting in the ring the lights in the arena can’t be dimmed as Unearth’s "Bloodlust of the Human Condition" starts up, a fact that doesn’t seem to bother Arch Griffon as he walks to the ring, tonight is all about business, all about kicking ass. "Here comes one giant of a man" "OH yeah Mak unlike Nemesis or Bruner or anything like that right?" King quips. "Griffon may actually be stronger than either of those guys, maybe we’ll see that proven tonight." Mak says, defending himself. Manson "MANSON’S UP!", drawing in the power of Mansonosity as the air around him seems to become electrically charged. He clenches his fist, pumps his arm a few times and then goes straight for the biggest man in the ring as he knocks Tracey Bruner down with a thunderious Lariat. Following up on his momentum and fully charged Mansonosity the Raging Bull lariats down Johnny Dangerous and then even chops down the power house Arch Griffon. IL backs off, even he’s not insane enough to take on Mansonosity straight up, but he like the rest is about to become a victim. Manson pumps the fist, then aims at Rickmen with deadly intentions. "INSANE LUCHADOR DUCKED!!" Mak yells out as IL drops to the canvas while pulling the top rope down. "Son of a *BEEP* Manson went right over the top" King adds as Manson tumbles over the top rope to the floor and then crashes into the guardrail with enough force to knock that section over. 0==============================0 Elimination #04 - MANSON Eliminated By: Insane Luchador Eliminated: Nemesis (Assist) Left in the ring: Left in the ring: Tracey Bruner, Johnny Dangerous, Insane Luchador, Arch Griffon 0==============================0 With Mansonosity out of the ring Griffon seizes the opportunity to show just how incredibly strong he is by picking Tracey Bruner up like it was nothing and then just slamming him down WHAM!! Bruner gets up, looks a little impressed then returns the favour by picking Griffon up and slamming the brickhouse of a man himself WHAM v2!! 10 - 9 - 8 - 7 - 6 - 5 - 4 - 3 - 2 - 1 - BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!! 'WEL-WEL-W-W-WELCOME TO THE REVOLUTION!' *Boom!* silver sparks fly everywhere as "Defy You" fills the arena… You may push me around, But you can not win. You may throw me down, But I’ll rise again. … only seconds before Austin Sly steps out from behind the curtain and out onto stage. Sly doesn’t seem to be in any great hurry to get to the ring, perhaps hoping that there may be one or two of his opponents will be gone by the time he gets to the ring Maddix-Tron: "You know what? Another person in the ring can’t hurt, I should know I’m the ultimate clusterf*cker around here. Start the countdown" 10 - 9 - 8 - 7 - 6 - 5 - 4 - 3 - 2 - 1 - BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!! "Man we’re just zipping through them tonight" Mak says "Makes for an exciting match though" King comments. The next person to step into the ring is not actually a competitor but Alison Onita who as usual comes out to introduce her man "I have a public service announcement to make to every single wrestler in that ring and every single guy getting ready to come to the right tonight. Mr. Tom Flesher would like you all to bend over backwards and kiss it goodbye because tonight he will once again demonstrate why he is the Superior One!!" Alison says. Flesher steps through the curtains, towel over his shoulders looking like he’s already been in action once. "Hmmm he looks sweaty" Mak notices. "Yeah it’s called warming up, all good wrestlers do it" the Suicide King snaps back, then adds "Oh I guess you wouldn’t know anything about it then" Flesher seems to have some sort of grudge against Johnny Dangerous as he grabs him from outside the ring, then drops down and guillotines Dangerous’ throat on the top rope. Since he hasn’t been in the ring yet Flesher isn’t eliminated by touching the floor and knows this all too well. The Superior One quickly gets up on the apron once more, grabs Dangerous and hooks him in a suplex position. Moments later Flesher manages to Suplex Johnny out of the ring to the floor, all without entering the ring once. 0==============================0 Elimination #05 - Johnny Dangerous Eliminated By: Tom Flesher Eliminated: Ghost Machine v2 Left in the ring: Left in the ring: Tracey Bruner, Insane Luchador, Arch Griffon, Austin Sly, Tom Flesher 0==============================0 Flesher just manages to step inside the ring when the countdown starts once again, by now the crowd has gotten so confused over the intervals that they’ve given up on counting along and just focus on the action in the ring. 10 - 9 - 8 - 7 - 6 - 5 - 4 - 3 - 2 - 1 - BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!! The fast paced techno music accompanied by red and pink lights can only mean that the first of the Revolution Zero members is coming to the ring. The Fabulous Jakey’s reaction is less than favourable, but if Jakey cared about such things he’d probably have been a face. Jakey removes his trenchcoat without the usual fanfare and throws it over his shoulder before sliding under the bottom rope into the ring "We’ve got Revolution Zero together in the ring" King says, perking up as the proverbial business is about to pick up. Sly and Jakey knocks Griffon back into a corner with a double drop kick as the unlikely duo of Flesher and Luchador tries to take out Bruner, only to see Flesher back off and let Bruner clobber IL with a gigantic clothesline. 10 - 9 - 8 - 7 - 6 - 5 - 4 - 3 - 2 - 1 - BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!! Rush’s "Force Ten" tells everyone EXACTLY who’s coming to the ring and it’s not making the fans very happy at all. Tough times demand tough talk demand tough hearts demand tough songs demand… Pretzler stops half way down the aisle, hands on hips he just observes the action in the ring for a moment, as if he’s judging it to see if it lives up to HIS standards. After watching for a moment or two he simply shakes his head in disbelief and heads to the ring to show everyone how it’s really done We can rise and fall like empires Flow in and out like the tide Be vain and smart, humble and dumb We can hit and miss like pride… just like pride. In the background we see Pretzler entering the ring as Revolution Zero keep trying to get the better of Griffon. Griffon picks up Austin Sly and runs to the ropes, ready to toss him over, but Sly manages to catch the top rope and cling on to it trying to pull Arch over with him. If it had just been Sly on his own he’d probably not have much of a chance of getting the power house out that way but when he’s aided by his Revolution Zero partner Jakey the job gets easier. Sly keeps pulling with Jakey reaches down and grabs Griffon’s trunk like legs and together they manage to flip him over the top to the floor. Jakey even makes an effort to pull Sly through the ropes so that he’s not accidentally eliminated. "Teamwork, very rare in the Clusterf*ck" King says with approval. 0==============================0 Elimination #06 - Arch Griffon Eliminated By: the Fabulous Jakey and Austin Sly Eliminated: None Left in the ring: Left in the ring: Tracey Bruner, Insane Luchador, Austin Sly, Tom Flesher, Fabulous Jakey, Scott Pretzler 0==============================0 10 - 9 - 8 - 7 - 6 - 5 - 4 - 3 - 2 - 1 - BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!! The Smarktron goes to black, only to have the black shattered into red filtered clips of violence, leading which send the fans into a frenzy DACE!! DACE!! DACE!! DACE!! DACE!! "Oh man this is about to turn violent" Mak says with excitement as "Winds of Creation" kicks in. "So it wasn’t violent enough for you already? What do you want? Someone to break their neck and end up in a wheelchair?" King shoots back. The big man steps through the smoke, pauses for a second to appreciate the fans reaction to one of the biggest faces booked for this match. Then he runs to the ring, quickly walks up the steps and clobbers the Austin Sly before he’s even in the ring. Once he’s in the ring there are right hands for IL, Flesher, Jakey and Pretzler. Everyone else backs off and just watches for a moment as Dace Night and Tracey Bruner come face to face, eye to... sunglass. "King Kong Vs Godzilla" Mak says, geeking out a little. Forearm by Bruner! Forearm by Dace Night!! Another forearm by Bruner! One by Dace Night! Moments later the exchange degenerates into a flurry of lefts and rights as the two monsters tangle in the ropes. A couple of moments into the match Dace lands a decisive blow as his right hand shatters Bruner’s shades, cutting the big man under the eye. After staggering Bruner Dace take a step back and then WHAM!!! Clotheslines the bigger man right out of the ring to a huge pop from the crowd. YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!! 0==============================0 Elimination #07 - Tracey Bruner Eliminated By: Dace Night Eliminated: Nemesis Left in the ring: Left in the ring: Insane Luchador, Austin Sly, Tom Flesher, Fabulous Jakey, Scott Pretzler, Dace Night 0==============================0 10 - 9 - 8 - 7 - 6 - 5 - 4 - 3 - 2 - 1 - BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!! The unmistakable sound of Skynyrd is heard next as... So, dont ask me no questions And I wont tell you no lies So, dont ask me about my business And I wont tell you goodbye "What? No way Maddix let this guy return" Mak says in dismay. "A former Hardcore Gamers and International champion? Maddix is smart, Blank is good for business" the King lectures. The crowd still remembers the former selfproclaimed "Ultraviolent Champion" and boos as Bruce Blank walks, he looks to be 15 pounds heavier and if possible even dirtier than last time we saw him. Blank seems more interested in the six pack he’s carrying to the ring than what the fans think of him. Once he’s stepped through Bruce crunches the can he just emptied and throws it at Dace Night to get his attention. Bruce follows up by smashing another can of beer in Dace’s face, causing it to explode in a shower of beer on impact. Only momentarily staggered Dace counters with a vicious fist aimed at Bruce’s left eye. "OOOOOOOOOOOH it’s on now!" Mak says, as the two powerhouses begin to slug it out with lefts and rights. Flesher quickly slides out under the bottom rope and sits on the apron near one of the ringposts while the seven other men fight it out. Bruce whips Dace into the ropes and then takes him down with a giant shoulder block, followed by two elbow drops. When Sly gets in his way Bruce is distracted long enough to get booted in the face by Dace followed by a vicious whip into the corner followed only a split second later by a bone crunching clothesline from the tag team champion. 10 - 9 - 8 - 7 - 6 - 5 - 4 - 3 - 2 - 1 - BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!! More smoke billows out from under the curtains, this time accompanied by the remix version of "No Many" PITO SUTE AUKILAGI! It's ain't good.. it ain't good... it ain't good 'cos you'll get jumped in my hood! "It’s the other half of the tag team champions, man if these two can work together I don’t know who’d be able to stop them tonight!" Mak gushes as Va’aiga comes out throwing the BOO-YAH! Combination left and right. When Va’aiga sees Dace and Bruce brawling in the corner he smiles, steps through the ropes and decides to join in by clobbering Bruce from behind with a double axe handle blow. The two men double up and press Bruce over their heads with a gorilla press before throwing Bruce over in the corner where Flesher is hiding out. The impact knocks Flesher off the apron to the floor but since he didn’t go over the top rope he’s not eliminated. "Always thinking, always figuring out the easiest way to defeat an opponent" King comments before Mak can talk trash. The Violence Distribution Network then turn their attention towards Revolution Zero, the much, much, much smaller Austin Sly and Fabulous Jakey. 10 - 9 - 8 - 7 - 6 - 5 - 4 - 3 - 2 - 1 - BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!! P.O.D.'s version of "Booyaka 619" starts to play but since there are no lyrics fans aren’t expecting the former WWE Champion to leap through the fireworks. Instead Christian Fury... doesn’t leap through the fireworks but waits until they’ve all gone off. "Christian Fury... he’s got a good, late entry in the match" Mak says "Yeah he might actually win it" King replies "Really?" "Nah!" King quips. Luchador catches his old enemy Bruce Blank with his trademark Evenflow DDT and then climbs the ropes. "I wouldn’t do that" Mak cautions "You’re saying only a crazy man would climb the ropes in this match?" "Yes" "Well then Rickmen is the guy to do it." King replies Insane Luchador perches himself on the top rope but before he can fly Va’aiga bounces off the ropes on the opposite side of the ring with enough force to knock IL off the top rope, sending him crashing into the guardrail chest first without any chance of protecting himself. CRAASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSHHH!! 0==============================0 Elimination #08 - Insane Luchador Eliminated By: Va’aiga Eliminated: MANSON~! Left in the ring: Left in the ring: Austin Sly, Tom Flesher, Fabulous Jakey, Scott Pretzler, Dace Night, Bruce Blank, Va’aiga, Christian Fury 0==============================0 "An unintentional elimination by Va’aiga" Mak comments "Not that he’s unhappy about it" he then quickly adds. 10 - 9 - 8 - 7 - 6 - 5 - 4 - 3 - 2 - 1 - BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!! CAUSE ME AND MY CLIQUE, WE DON‘T GIVE A FUCK, NIGGA! TRICK DADDY! LIL‘ JON! LET’S GO - "It’s the Red Dragon!" Mak says as Nathaniel Kibagami walks out with his traditional pre-match cigarette and beer handy. "Let’s go" plays as Kibagami finishes his beer, then squashes his cigarette on the ringpost. The fact that he’s about to enter the ring with 8 other people doesn’t seem to put him off in the least, in fact he seems to look forward to it. Maddix appears once again "Alright one last time, hit the countdown, we’ve got a winner to crown" 10 - 9 - 8 - 7 - 6 - 5 - 4 - 3 - 2 - 1 - BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!! 0==============================0 Elimination #09 - Christian Fury Eliminated By: Nathaniel Kibagami Eliminated: None Left in the ring: Left in the ring: Austin Sly, Tom Flesher, Fabulous Jakey, Scott Pretzler, Dace Night, Bruce Blank, Va’aiga, Nathaniel Kibagami 0==============================0 "Welcome to the Black Parade" by My Chemical Romance begins to play, much to the bewilderment of everyone in the crowd. Their confusion isn’t lessened when a 5’7’’ man dressed in mainly black from his boots to his masked face steps out through the curtains. It’s not until the Smarktron very helpfully flashes "El Hombre Sin Nombre" that a few people actually realize who this guy is. "Is he the guy Maddix just signed?" King asks. "I dunno I didn’t get his name" Mak replies "He doesn’t have one" King states and then adds a soto voche "dumbass" The Luchador El Hombre Sin Nombre, for that’s indeed who this is quickly discards his cape, races to the ring, leaps up on the apron and then springboards off the top rope into the ring taking Austin Sly down with a cross body block. "The kid can fly" Mak says "Yeah out of the ring, I mean what is he? 160?" King sneers, not giving the rookie a chance. When El Hombre Sin Nombre gets up he also shows that he can hurt as Nathaniel Kibagami catches him by the shirt and then pops him three times with a stiff forearm shot to the jaw. BAM! - BAM! - BAM! "The old man is teaching the rookie about pain" VDN double team Jakey, tackling him down with a double shoulder block, then they flip Austin Sly 360 degrees in the air with a double clothesline. 10 - 9 - 8 - 7 - 6 - 5 - 4 - 3 - 2 - 1 - BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!! "Leaning to Fly" begins to play as a spotlight shines on Jay Hawke making his way to the ring. "Man coming in this late in the match really makes Hawke one of the favourites" Mak comments. "Hawke has had world champion potential written all over him for years now, maybe tonight he takes the next step towards reaching that potential" King adds. "Wow King that was very insightful, I didn’t expect that from you" "Oh shut up" King simply says. As Jay Hawke heads to the ring he has to scramble to get out of the way of two bodies flying out of the ring. THUD! Jakey is tossed out by Dace Night THUD! Sly lands on the floor only a split second later courtesy of Va’aiga. 0==============================0 Elimination #10 - the Fabulous Jakey Eliminated By: Dace Night Eliminated: Arch Griffon Left in the ring: Left in the ring: Tom Flesher, Scott Pretzler, Dace Night, Bruce Blank, Va’aiga, Nathaniel Kibagami, El Hombre Sin Nombre, Jay Hawke 0==============================0 Elimination #10 - Austin Sly Eliminated By: Va’aiga Eliminated: Arch Griffon Left in the ring: Left in the ring: Tom Flesher, Scott Pretzler, Dace Night, Bruce Blank, Va’aiga, Nathaniel Kibagami, El Hombre Sin Nombre, Jay Hawke 0==============================0 Hawke can’t help but smile, two less people to worry about now, although there are still plenty of people in the ring to worry about, big people, mean people, sneaky people... and one clueless rookie. Hawke notices the countdown kicking in and quickly rolls into the ring 10 - 9 - 8 - 7 - 6 - 5 - 4 - 3 - 2 - 1 - BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!! The lights begin to flicker around the arena as the violent guitar riffs and the blaring trumpets of Emmure’s "When Keeping It Real Goes Wrong" blast through the PA system. RAHAHAHAHAHAHA! The horrifying shriek of a laugh from lead singer Frank Palmieri sends a shiver down the spines of everyone in attendance. I hope this is a passing phase. There is no future where I stand, Here with you! The lights on the stage begin to flicker on and off. The audience begins to stomp their feet and clap their hands as they await The New Straight Edge Sensation. A small, but audible "Spike…Spike…Spike" chant breaks out inside the arena. This Is… …The End! Spike unzips the sweatshirt as he walks through the curtains, then tosses it into the crowd before he climbs the stairs and jumps into the match. "We’re at full capacity King one of these nine people will win this year’s Clusterf*ck" Flesher is keeping Kibagami under control with a front facelock, doing his best to keep the old dog from landing any strikes. Kibagami summons up his considerable strength, wraps his arms around Flesher’s waist and lifts "the Superior One" up in the air. With a twist of the body he deposits Flesher on the apron but Flesher still has the front facelock hooked on, keeping Kibagami under control. With considerable effort Flesher drags Kibagami over the top rope with him, flicking his grip at the last moment to make the Red Dragon tumble off the apron to the ground BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! Flesher wisely steps through the ropes before Kibagami can recover his bearings enough to attack Flesher again. 0==============================0 Elimination #12 - Nathaniel Kibagami Eliminated By: Tom Flesher Eliminated: Christian Fury Left in the ring: Left in the ring: Tom Flesher, Scott Pretzler, Dace Night, Bruce Blank, Va’aiga, El Hombre Sin Nombre, Jay Hawke, Spike Jenkins 0==============================0 Va’aiga and Dace each grab one of Bruce’s hands, then they whip the blood soaked redneck into the corner with so much force that he flips up and lays across the top turnbuckle, all it takes now is a well placed push to get the big man out YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!!! A push that Spike Jenkins, ever the opportunist, is happy to supply as he shoulder tackles Bruce off the top rope, sending him tumbling off the apron and to the floor like a rag doll. SPIKE!! SPIKE!! SPIKE!! SPIKE!! SPIKE!! 0==============================0 Elimination #13 - Bruce Blank Eliminated By: "Hollywood" Spike Jenkins Eliminated: None Left in the ring: Left in the ring: Tom Flesher, Scott Pretzler, Dace Night, Va’aiga, El Hombre Sin Nombre, Jay Hawke, Spike Jenkins 0==============================0 Spike smiles, eliminating an opponent is always good, eliminating one as big as Blank and well frankly as annoying as Blank is just an added bonus. Having turned their attention away from Blank the VDNs split up with Va’aiga having trapped the Critic in the corner and Dace Night trying to get a handle on the extremely fast El Hombre. The masked man bounces off the ropes, then slides under Dace’s legs to avoid being smashed like a bug. "The tag team champions area really dominating the ring at this point" Mak says. While Va’aiga and Dace dominate Flesher prefers to skulk around the ring, waiting, picking his moments. One moment comes when Jay Hawke loses sight of the Superior One and allows Flesher to come up behind him and lock his arms around Hawke’s waist. One quick toss over the top rope and Hawke’s championship dreams are dashed. 0==============================0 Elimination #14 - Jay Hawke Eliminated By: Tom Flesher Eliminated: None Left in the ring: Left in the ring: Tom Flesher, Scott Pretzler, Dace Night, Va’aiga, El Hombre Sin Nombre, Spike Jenkins 0==============================0 The old saying goes "Misery loves company", which in this case must mean that Jay Hawke loves Scott Pretzler as he joins him on the floor only seconds later after being gorilla pressed out of the ring by Va’aiga. YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!! VND!! VND!! VND!! VND!! VND!! VND!! 0==============================0 Elimination #15 - Scott Pretzler Eliminated By: Va’aiga Eliminated: None Left in the ring: Left in the ring: Tom Flesher, Dace Night, Va’aiga, El Hombre Sin Nombre, Spike Jenkins 0==============================0 "King what would happen if Va’aiga and Dace both pin the third guy at the same time?" Mak ponders "I... I don’t know, coin flip?" "I’m not sure Maddix would tell either of these guys that he really didn’t win" Mak adds. "True" Dace is still trying to catch El Hombre who’ve done an excellent job of playing "Keep-away" with himself as the object. Hombre ducks under one of Dace’s massive arms, leaps up on the top rope, springboards back and manages to lock his legs around Dace’s neck for a Huracanrana But that’s where it stops "DACE BLOCKED IT!!" Mak yells out as Dace Night’s brute power caught the Luchador dead in his track "Bye, bye little unknown bug" King just adds. El Hombre punches Dace in the head a few times but to no avail, he’s just not strong enough to hurt Dace Night. Spike eyes an opportunity and drop kicks Night in the back. The big man staggers forward with El Hombre still trying to pull off the Huracanrana. The second Dace hits the ropes Flesher pulls the top rope down. El Hombre sin Nombre and Dace Night both tumble half way over the top rope, then Flesher and Spike lift Dace’s legs over the top making the big man tumble to the floor while El Hombre somehow manages to hold on to the top rope and stay in the match. BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! 0==============================0 Elimination #16 - Dace Night Eliminated By: Spike Jenkins, Tom Flesher, El Hombre Sin Nombre Eliminated: Tracey Bruner, the Fabulous Jakey Left in the ring: Left in the ring: Tom Flesher, Va’aiga, El Hombre Sin Nombre, Spike Jenkins 0==============================0 "It took all three of them to eliminate Dace Night!" Mak comments. "Yeah but eliminated he is, no double VDN victory tonight" King says encouraged by the action in the ring. Flesher says something to El Hombre, encouraging to do something as he motions at Dace Night on the floor. After a moment El Hombre takes the encouragement, runs at the side where Dace Night is and then DIVES OVER THE TOP ROPE ONTO DACE NIGHT!!! "He just eliminated himself! Flesher you are a genius" the Suicide King says as Flesher laughs over having tricked the rookie. Before Flesher can turn his attention back to the other two men in the ring he’s flung over the top rope, to the floor by both Spike and Va’aiga. "That’s alright Mak, he’s one of the last three, he’s not eliminated." King says Flesher seems to think the same but a referee blocks him from returning to the match, then points at El Hombre who’s still in Dace’s arms. It seems that the big man caught El Hombre, then rammed him back first against the ringpost but never dropped him. "EL HOMBRE SIN NOMBRE NEVER TOUCHED THE FLOOR!! He’s still in the match! Flesher is the one eliminated" Mak says, jumping all over any announcement Funyon might have made. 0==============================0 Elimination #17 - Tom Flesher Eliminated By: Spike Jenkins, Va’aiga Eliminated: Aaron Starr (unofficially), Johnny Dangerous, Nathaniel Kibagami, Jay Hawke, Dace Night (Assist) Left in the ring: Left in the Va’aiga, El Hombre Sin Nombre, Spike Jenkins 0==============================0 "No way!" King says in disbelief as Flesher is forced to leave the ring. "No way it’s come down to Spike, the fatass or some guy in his FIRST MATCH?" "In the SWF anything can happen" Mak replies. Dace rolls El Hombre into the ring, the Mexican doesn’t seem to have taken well to being rammed into the ringpost 3 times. Spike looks at Va’aiga, then he looks at the masked man on the ground. When Va’aiga turns to say something to Dace Night Spike jumps into action grabbing El Hombre Sin Nombre and dragging him off the ground. "Spike could go for a quick win with Va’aiga distracted" Mak realizes. "Well you can say about about Va’aiga, and I have, but he’s not the brightest man. Just as Jenkins hooks the Mexican rookie for a suplex Va’aiga realizes what’s going on. He runs into the ropes, bounces back doing his best "unstoppable force" imitation as he targets both of his opponents. Spike lifts El Hombre in the air only a split second before both of them are clobbered by the OH MY GOD YOU JUST KILLED KENNY, SPENNY, LENNY AND BENNY, NOW YOU’RE GOING TO DISNEYLAND LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARIAAAAAAATOOOOOOOO!!!!! "Holy crap! He took them both out!" Mak yelps as Va’aiga crashes into both men with so much force even the guy in the last row felt it. "NO ONE and I mean NO ONE is going to get up from this, ladies and gentlemen let me make a bold prediction: this match is over!" King exclaims. The Mighty Maori has both men covered as the referee goes down to count. … "COUNT!" Mak yells when the referee hesitates. Va’aiga looks at the referee and his murderous intentions are clearly written across his face. The referee tries to save his own hide by pointing out the fact that the impact knocked everyone so close to the ropes that Va’aiga is half way under the bottom rope. The angry Samoa gets up, grabs the referee and starts to inform him that he shouldn’t be such a stickler for the rules. ONE!! TWO!! THREE!! *DING!!* DING!!* DING!!* DING!!* "What the hell?" King blurts out as the bell rings. Va’aiga whips around and stares at the two men on the canvas, neither of them have moved since he hit them with the lariat but one of them was laying half way on top of the other one. Then he stares at the other referee that counted to three behind his back "Oh don’t tell me, you’re not saying that… " Mak can’t complete the sentence, it’s unthinkable. The referee that counted to three bends over, grabs and arm and raises the winner of the Clusterf*ck in the air. "Ladies and gentlemen" Funyon starts, sounding totally dumbfounded "Apparently the winner of the Clusterf*ck 2008" Funyon pauses again to make sure he’s understood it correctly "EL HOMBRE SIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIN NOMBRE!!!" 0==============================0 Winner - El Hombre Sin Nombre Eliminated: Dace Night (assist) Left in the ring: N/A 0==============================0 For a moment everything is silent, this is not what the fans expected, hell this guy didn’t even work for the company when they all entered the building. Va’aiga paces back and forth a bit like an angry bull, then as he realizes that the match is over, his opportunity is lost he goes over and stands over his victims. "Neither Spike nor El Hombre have moved since Va’aiga hit the lariat" Mak states, because he likes to state the obvious. "Maybe this masked roach is scared of the big man, maybe he’s playing possum" Suicide King says, hoping that Va’aiga will take his frustrations out on the Mexican rookie. Va’aiga doesn’t attack though, instead he reaches down and grabs El Hombre’s arm and pulls him to his feet. The Samoa has to support the still dazed Luchador but slowly brings him around by talking to him and slapping his cheeks a bit. When El Hombre is finally back on his feet Va’aiga lets go of him, then shrugs knowing that it won’t be the last opportunity for him and leaves the ring. "I… this is amazing, it’s like… " Mak starts to gush as he realizes that a true rookie has won the Clusterf*ck in his first match. "This is a disgrace! What did he do? He scuttered around like a roach trying to avoid being stepped on. He didn’t even beat Spike! Va’aiga beat Spike!" King barks annoyed with the whole situation. The referees explain to El Hombre sin Nombre what happened, at first he doesn’t believe it but as the crowd applause and cheers slowly increases he looks awestruck by the whole thing. After a few seconds El Hombre climbs up on the second turnbuckle and slowly raises both fists in the air as the crowd shows their appreciation for a man no one gave a chance at the beginning of the match. "That’s it, I need to get drunk" King says as the throws his headset down and walks off. "This is amazing, a Cinderella story but with power bombs" Mak exclaims as he goes into "Overhype" from the surprise ending. After soaking up the budding appreciation from the crowd for a while El Hombre drops down and rolls out under the bottom rope right next to where Mak Francis is seated. Mak quickly drives his wheelchair over to get a few words from the 2008 F*cker! "El Hombre, El Hombre you won!!" Mak gushes "I can’t believe it!" Hombre yells trying his best not to break down and cry in front of everyone. "Now that you’ve won you get a world title shot at the next show" Mak explains. The comment about the world title shot is like a slap on the face of El Hombre who apparently did not realize the stakes tonight. "Is there anything you’d like to say as you get ready to face the SWF World Heavyweight Champion?" "I’m going to die!" El Hombre nervously blurts out, not really prepared for such a challenge yet. "Well there you have it fans, in the immortal words of El Hombre Sin Nombre "I’m going to From the Fire", this is Mak Francis and the Suicide King was here as well, goodnight everyone." Mak says with a big smile plastered on his face. Fade out

We see Commissioner Landon Maddix hard at work in his office, bent over his desk working hard to organize the next show. While some people, organized trained people mainly, prefer to use some kind of documented system or a white board or the “management by Post It©” method Maddix thinks that those methods are for nerds and dweebs. He personally prefers “Management by Action Figure”, evident by the pile of SWF action figure (available at the shop zone, get them now!) on the table in front of him. “hmmmm…” Maddix says as he looks at Tom Flescher action figure in his hand. Before he can elaborate his train of though is derailed by a knock on the door. *El Knock* Landon opens a drawer and with a swiftness that only a two time Clusterf*ck winner has scoops all the action figures into it. Then he grabs a folder marked “Scouting Report” and pretends to read it. “Enter” The door opens with an ominous creek, the light in the hallway falls into the dimly lit office casting three long shadows on the floor. Landon, spooked by the sound, looks up and sees… something really unexpected. “Well I didn’t expect the Mexican Inquisition” Maddix says, smiling at his own joke “Que?” one of the three masked men says and enters the room. “We come on business” the man in the black and yellow mask and the purple velvet mariachi band suit says. “I’m telling you I paid for that Taco! Man it’s been five years how much longer must you people haunt me about it” The three masked men say nothing at all, they just stare at each other uncomfortably as Maddix realizes that they’re probably not from “La Fiesta Cantina” after all. “Señor we have come from the SMLL on business” “SMLL?” Maddix didn’t have a clue what that was, he was just hoping it wasn’t a charity or some sort of Sado Machochistic organisation. “Yes sir, your Mexican subsidiary” “Oh S-MMM-LL, I thought you said SNL, I was wondering why Saturday Night Live was coming here. Of course I know of our Mexican Subsidiary” Maddix quickly says as he tries to cover up for the fact that he did know anything about it. “I am Principal Jefe, the commissioner of Smart Marko Lucha Libre and headmaster of the school” Principal Jefe explains as he sits down, his two companions stay standing behind him, Jefe is the boss after all. “And you’re masked?” “Well yes, it’s a tradition. Ah I see you’re reading our latest scouting report, excellent” Principal Jefe says when he notices what Maddix is holding. Maddix looks down and actually reads the paperwork his eyes widen in surprise, it was right under his nose the whole time. “So… Mexico eh?” Landon muses as he tries to get his bearings. “I thought it was weird that for the five years we’ve been your affiliate not one commissioner has talked to us about bringing up talent” “Well we’ve been busy you know… PPVs … champions… someone blew up FAO Schwartz… Rev 0 reforming…. Me winning the Clusterf*ck twice… it’s a busy place” Maddix says meekly trying to explain why this plot point was never brought up before it conveniently fit in with an angle. “Well we’re here now, that’s what matters.” Principal Jefe says trying to get back on track. “Yes you’re here now” Maddix says and leans back in his chair, then he sits upright again “why are you here anyway? This isn’t a hostile takeover right? You’re not invading or anything?” Maddix looks a little nervous, the mere mention of “Invasion angles” tends to make most wrestling officials twitch, they remember how badly they can be screwed up. “Nothing of the sort, most of my workers… “ Jefe says pausing to think of the words to most politely explain it. “…would not like the water here” “huh?” “They prefer to stay in Mexico” Jefe explains, realizing that subtlety is not going to work. “But we do have one person we’d like to send to the SWF.” “I get it, your biggest star is getting too big for little ol’ Mexico and wants to move up to the big leagues?” Maddix says with a confident smile. “Well no, he’s a rookie” “He’s not even a rookie, he’s a student hasn’t worked a single pro match yet” the shorter, hairier of Principal Jefe’s assistants adds. “Quiet Mano Dercera!” “Mano… He’s known as the Right Hand?” Landon says, taking the opportunity to show his awesome Spanish skills “Well he is my assistant, my right hand if you will” Principal Jefe explains, “but now to business” “I wish you would, it’s already dragging on” Maddix replies. “We have a kid, a promising student at our school you see. But we feel that he needs experience, seasoning really to make it big and well what better place to expose him to a great variety of wrestlers and styles than here” Principal Jefe explains. “What’s this kid’s name?” “He doesn’t have one” “Excuse me?” Maddix looks at Principal Jefe like he just offered to turn water into Tequila. “Well in Lucha Libre it’s a tradition that the wrestler has to earn his name, he has to earn his true Máscara… mask” “But… but how can I book him? How can I market this guy if he doesn’t have a name” “You could just leave the name blank” Mano Dercera suggests. “We’ve had enough Blanks in this company to last me a lifetime!” Maddix snaps “He is the Man with no name, that’s how he should be listed” Principal Jefe adds, hoping to get the show on the road. “Can’t do that” Maddix says shaking his head “copyright infringements I’m afraid and frankly I don’t want a coked up, crazed Brutus Beefcake chasing me.” None of the Mexicans seen to remember that particular WCW angle and just sit there in uncomfortable silence until Principal Jefe offers a compromise. “Call him… El Hombre Sin Nombre” “Hmm… not too bad, not very catchy though” Maddix says as he considers the option. “Oh but it will only be for a short while, when he earns his true máscara the name will change, he will adopt a new gimmick.” “Yeah you mentioned “Earning his mask” earlier… how you do that?” Maddix ponders “It’s very simple señor, by respecting the lucha libre tradition and winning five matches.” “That’s it?” Maddix says with disappointment. “You look disappointed? It’s not like he has to go on a quest to discover some inner truth, it’s wrestling not a book or a movie.” Principal Jefe rolls his eyes, that kind of storyline is much too sophisticated for wrestling. “Alright, alright so let me get this straight: I sign this kid, book him to give him experience and when he’s won five matches he goes back to Mexico? I mean that’s not really very profitable for me now is it? Sure we can use a low carder, but what if he takes off? What if he actually gets a few fans? How can I know he won’t just leave once he’s won those five matches?” Maddix comments while looking proud that he thought of that, he’s really gotten the hang of this Commissioner job after all. The three Mexicans discuss something in Spanish with both nodding and headshaking involved, in the end Principal Jefe sighs and nods, agreeing to the suggestion against his will. “He will not be lent out by us, he’ll sign a full SWF contract, you’re his boss, you can fire him if he sucks and you can enforce a non-compete clause if he wants to leave” Principal Jefe suggests. In the background Mano Dercera snickers and nods in approval, it was his suggestion after all. “And he’ll honor the contract?” All three Mexicans look shocked… well we think they do, they’re wearing masks for cripes sake. “A luchador always honors his commitments, it’s in the book” Principal Jefe explains “The book?” “El Libro de Lucha Libre!” Jefe proudly exclaims “Does it not say in the book that a luchador honors his commitment El Bibliotecario??” The third man pulls out a large, dusty, leather bound book, flips through it to a certain passage and after reading it simply says “Si” “Well there you have it” Maddix swivels his leather chair around, turning his back on the guests while he waits, partly because he liked it, gave him a certain “James Bond villain” feel and because he wasn’t sure if this was a good idea or not. He knew how easy it was to hide under a mask, what if this was someone trying to sneak back in? what if this was just a ploy? If they’re out to get him?? Maddix begins to sweat as he considers the possibility of this being a swerve. Then he relaxes, his pulse settles down and he confidently smiles, after all he’s much too clever to fall for a trick like that, heck he practically invented the trick… sorta. At least in the SWF… sorta. Filled with confidence and decisiveness Maddix turns back around to face his confused guests. “Do we have a deal?” Principal Jefe asks. “We do” Maddix nods. “Excellent, you won’t be sorry sir!” Principal Jefe quickly shakes Maddix hand before the three men leave the office. Maddix is left to himself, feeling relaxed and on top of the world he leans back and puts his feet on the table. “Landon, you’re a shrewd businessman” he says to himself. Fade.

As the ring is readying for the Clusterfuck, Landon Maddix stands by behind the curtain, going through some last minute instructions with his backstage staff and crew of referees. A small shadow suddenly looms over... well, at least his calf muscle... as a young Japanese girl tugs on the back of his pants to get his attention. "Huh... oh!" The girl points to the ring. "No, no, it's okay... we won't be needing you tonight after all." The girl folds her arms angrily and marches off, as Landon rolls his eyes and goes back to his conversation.

The cameras return to the central showpiece of tonight’s show in the Sears Centre, the SWF ring, emblazoned with the somewhat lewd logo of the first Pay-Per-View of the year. Around the ring people pump their arms, trying to make sure the cameras catch the signs they hold. “A Toxxic New Year!” is scrawled across one, while another sign states “Get used to being 2nd best!” Mak Francis smiles as the camera focuses on him and his partner-in-crime at the announce table. “And now we’re back at ringside, and about to have our biggest title match of the night! This one is going to be a doozy, King.” “A ‘doozy?’” The Suicide King smirks. “That’s one way to describe it. If you’re into talking like a 10 year old from 1987. This match is going to be one for the record books. Both of these guys are incredible wrestlers, both are vicious SOBs, and to top it off, they can’t seem to stand each other. Alexander’s got a lot to prove in this, since Toxxic’s beaten him before, fluke or not, while Toxxic has a lot to lose…namely the one remaining title in Revolution Zero’s trophy case. It’s going to be the most beautiful kind of ugly, Francis.” “We at least agree on that,” Mak replies. “One of these guys is leaving with the SWF World Heavyweight Title, and the other is leaving with a big plate of crow to eat. And it looks like things are about to get started.” The SWF’s resident mouthpiece, Funyon, ambles into the ring, where Referee Brock Samson stands in the corner, flipping a Filipino butterfly knife open and closed with a decidedly detached look on his face. Funyon drawls into the microphone to get things underway. “Ladies and Gentleman! The following match is one fall…for the SWF World Heavyweight Championship!” The big man does a little flourish as he turns toward the rampway. “First, the challenger…” “Dread Rock” by Paul Oakenfold begins to play, and the a video montage of Alexander’s previous in-ring exploits interspersed with Da Vinci’s “Vitruvian Man” highlighting the areas that the various moves depicted injure on his opponents. The lights in the arena flicker in time with the Smarktron. Funyon continues, “He is the SWF New Blood Champion…weighing in at 221 pounds… hailing from Greenville, South Carolina…the Mad Scientist of the Mat…MIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICHAEL AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALEXAAAAAAAAAAAANDER!” Alexander steps out onto the stage, and the flicker lighting stops dead. He gazes out over the crowd, smirks, and makes his way to the ring, trash-talking to the crowd, which responds in kind. “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” Michael smiles to himself as he climbs into the ring, and he holds aloft his title belt in one hand. He strolls casually over to his corner and hands the New Blood title to the ring attendant, then leans against the ropes with his arms crossed, gazing back up the ramp. “Well, it’s good to know that all is right with the world…the fans still hate Alexander,” Mak says. “The mob never loves genius, Francis,” King pronounces solemnly. “It’s a cross some of us bear proudly.” “Or loudly, as the case may be,” Mak replies smoothly. “And it looks like our World Champ is about to make his appearance.” Every single light in the arena hits full, and the Smarktron whites out. For a few long moments there is silence, until a looped track of a crowd chant suddenly blasts over the PA System: “COME AND HAVE A GO IF YOU THINK YER ‘ARD ENOUGH!” “COME AND HAVE A GO IF YOU THINK YER ‘ARD ENOUGH!” The soccer chant fades into the oozing bassline of ‘The Gush’ by Raging Speedhorn which reverberates around the arena as the Smarktron first whites out, then fades quickly down to black while jagged white letters flash up a familiar slogan, one word at a time as the drums and guitar feedback come in: ‘PREPARE TO BE PROVED WRONG…’ Three chords ring out; on the first we see Michael Stephens knocked off the top buckle to the floor by a Nathaniel Kibagami springboard enzuigiri; on the second we see him taken off the top rope with the Mark of the Beast by Gabriel Drake; on the third we see him chokeslammed out of the Clusterfuck by Janus onto the floor below. Then, as the bass solo hits the shot changes to show him taking Mike Van Siclen off a balcony and through a table, the shot starting to strobe and intercut with an image of Toxxic’s grinning face, the devastating landing timed to coincide with- *BOOOM!!* -the moment the song kicks in, and the stagewide eruption of red pyro that signals the arrival of the SWF’s most decorated Englishman! Toxxic strides through the smoke and remaining sparks, head up and looking around grinning at the booing crowd, then starts to walk down to the ring. “And the SWF World Heavyweight Champion…weighing in at 218 pounds…from Nottingham, England…TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOXXIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIC!” Funyon bawls out. ‘Dysfunction is my game These thoughts drive me insane Tell me the price Of which I have to pay… Toxxic stops at the bottom of the ramp, then crosses his arms in the straight-edge ‘X’ for a moment before throwing them wide, palms flat to ignite another blast of red pyro from each ring post as the chorus comes in! *BOOOM!* Toxxic rolls into the ring and gets up to his feet, then strips his trenchcoat off and hands the SWF World Heavyweight Championship belt to the referee. Toxxic then yanks off his T-shirt and teases tossing it to the crowd, but then flings it at the ring attendant, a smirk on his face. The crowd, like most large dumb animals, doesn’t like to be teased. “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” “Looks like our fans don’t have a real favorite in this one,” Mak observes. “I guess one way or another, someone they don’t like is going to lose.” King snorts derisively. “And someone they don’t like is going to win. But of course, they might not have realized it yet; Chicagoans aren’t famous for intelligence, you know. I mean, any city that could be burned down by a cow…” “That’s just an urban legend, King,” Mak replies. “That just means the truth of it was even more embarrassing, Francis, and they’re trying to hide behind a cow. How pathetic is that?” “King, we’ve got a match to call,” Mak quickly segues. Referee Samson hold the belt up over his head, displaying it to those in attendance before handing it to the ring attendant. Samson growls at both men, asking if they are ready. Both men nod, and a duel of smirks ensues. The brutal back-and-forth of egotistical facial distortion is cut short, however. Brock Samson snarls at the bellman, and the match is on. DING! DING! Alexander and Toxxic circle each other briefly before the Mad Scientist shoots in for a quick single leg pickup. The Straight-Edger has other ideas, though, and drops back in a classic counter to thetakedown, splaying his legs back and away from Alexander, and dropping into a front facelock , trying to drive the Evil Genius to the mat. Alexander fights back up to his feet, even while he remains caught in the hold. Not one to be shown up, however, Michael Alexander grabsToxxic's right wrist and manages to bridge himself and twist the Straight-Edge Sensation's right arm into a painful hammerlock, then chains into a standing side headlock, which he uses to whip the Englishman down to the mat. No slouch in such matters himself, Toxxic immediately pushes Alexander's chin back to allow him to clamp the South Carolinian's swollen head in a head-scissors. Michael manages to slide out of the hold almost immediately, but Toxxic quickly rolls away and up to his feet. "Nice exchange of holds there," Mak notes. "I honestly can't say who got the better of that contest." "Well, this is pretty much how things are probably going to go," King adds. "These two are about the same size, both are damn good wrestlers, and both know how much they have to lose here." Alexander fumes as he stares at Toxxic, who presents a lopsided grin as he hops on the balls of his feet, boxer-style. The two men collide again, this time in a collar-and-elbow, which Alexander uses to apply a headlock, which he chains into a right-arm chicken wing, then follows with a drop toehold. Toxxic chooses to break up this little chain of events by using his downward momentum from the drop toehold to execute a forward roll, adding a little spring from his left leg to allow him to escape the ignominy of being dropped on his face. Both men roll to their feet again and stare each other down, but with Alexander's temper obviously flaring right along with his nostrils. Toxxic, for his part, is still smiling, if his eyes reveal that he is more guarded than before. "Toxxic manages to avoid being grounded once again, and I think Alexander's letting his temper get the better of him," Mak warns. King shakes his head. "That's the last thing Michael needs to do in the ring with Toxxic. He's got to keep his head. A significant part of Toxxic's offense involves keeping his opponent off his game, and if Alexander wants to win this, he's got to stay focused." Alexander charges Toxxic, deciding to wipe that lopsided grin off his face with a clothesline. The Straight-Edger sees this coming and smoothly moves to duck under it...only to discover that the clothesline was a feint as he takes kitchen-sink knee right across his face. Toxxic stumbles backward from the impact and surprise of the move, allowing the Evil Genius to slide in and cradle the Englishman with a small package! Samson drops for the count: ONE! TWO-NO! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Toxxic kicks out of the package and rolls toward the ropes, springing back to his feet, the smile no longer present on his face. In fact, it seems to have migrated over to Michael Alexander, whose wicked grin has returned in full force. The Evil Genius holds up to fingers atToxxic, waggling them poignantly. Toxxic , no stranger to such contests, takes it in stride. He checks his nose, rubbing it absently, his trademark grin appearing again. "Alexander's showing that it's not quite so easy to get him off his game," King notes. "And the kid is showing that winning attitude. That's how you've got to play in there withToxxic; you can't let him get in your head." "Well, he did just remind Toxxic that this isn't going to be as simple as he thought," Mak says. "That's certainly more than most have been able to do with the guy who has become one of, if not THE, franchise player in theSWF." The two men again close the distance, and this time its Toxxic who explodes with a series of right hands, staggering the Mad Scientist back into the ropes. The Straight-Edger goes for an Irish whip, but Alexander reverses it, sendingToxxic into the ropes...which seems to have been part of Toxxic's plan all along, as the Bouncing Brit springs up, landing on the second rope, leaping backward to land on Michael Alexander's shoulders in aEletric Chair position, then pitching forward to pull Alexander down into a Victory Roll! "Toxxic catches him with a victory roll!" Mak shouts. "Well, Alexander made a major mistake there," King pronounces. "He threw Toxxic into the ropes before softening him up...that just gives him more momentum to work with." Brock Samson hits the count: ONE! TWO! NO! Michael Alexander kicks out with a snarl, and Toxxic rolls back to his feet. The Mad Scientist barrels at Toxxic in a frenzied rush, and eats a dropkick that sends him careening to the mat. The Evil Genius is stunned momentarily, but instinct causes him to roll over to raise himself onto his knees...which unfortunately places him into perfect position forToxxic's dropkick du jour ...a basement dropkick directly to the side of the Mad Scientist's head! Michael Alexander crumples back to the mat with a meaty thump. True to Pavlovian form, Michael Alexander's injury elicits an audience response: "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" "Ouch," Mak winces. "That was two nasty kicks to the head. If only Michael Alexander's ego-inflated head didn't present such an easy target." King snorts. "If ego is a problem in this match, then I don't think we can give either of these two an edge...both of them are damn sure of themselves. An attitude that, I have to say, has been borne out by their records." Toxxic, not being above milking a sympathetic audience, follows this up with a standing flip senton splash onto the back of the prone Mad Scientist. The Staight-Edger rolls his opponent over and goes for another pin. The referee goes in for the count: ONE! TWO! THR...NO! The Evil Genius kicks out just before three. Toxxic shrugs and hoists Alexander back to his feet, then rocks him with a crisp European uppercut. Michael's head snaps back as he stumbles into the ropes, leaning across the top ropes precariously. Not one to let such an opportunity slide, the Straight-Edge Sensation springs up to the second turnbuckle and launches himself back at his stunned opponent with a dropkick to the face, tipping the Mad Scientist over the top rope to the outside. "Another close count for Toxxic. Alexander's getting put into the passenger seat for this match, and that's not a place you want to be when Toxxic's the driver, King." "Michael's definitely got to get out from behind the eight ball on this one," King agrees. "He may get a little breather on the outside, but if I knowToxxic, it won't be a long one." Alexander manages to land on his feet after his ignominious backflip over the top, but it's still a rough landing, and he flops against the guardrail to remain upright. He shakes his head in an effort to clear things up, as even an exceptionally inflated ego is not much protection against a series of nasty kicks to the head. Referee Brock Samson growls atToxxic to step back as he begins his count: One... Two... Three... The Straight-Edger is not one to let sleeping egomaniacs lie, however, and dashes into the opposite ropes for momentum. Rebounding, he charges back toward Alexander, leaping up onto the top rope and somersaulting down onto the still shaky Evil Genius, smashing him against the guardrail he was using for support, leaving both men to collapse to the floor in a heap. "HOLY SHIT!" "HOLY SHIT!" "HOLY SHIT!" "Good lord! Toxxic nailed Alexander with that senton! Looks like you were right, King; Toxxic has no intention of giving Alexander a chance to get back into his game plan." "Of course I was right, Francis! Why do you keep sounding so surprised by that?" "No reason, King." Samson snarls at Toxxic to get it back in the ring as he is forced to restart the count. Toxxic, for his part, manages to recover fairly quickly from his quasi-suicidal dive, and he drives a quick series of kicks into the sprawled Alexander. The Evil Genius tries to roll away from the assault, and manages to make it to his knees beforeToxxic grabs him and cracks his jaw with another European uppercut. One... Two... Three... "Toxxic is just being relentless here," Mak states. "He can afford to be, Francis," King replies soberly. "Honestly, if I were Toxxic, I'd do nothing but go after Alexander on the outside. Never try to get back in the ring. Titles don't change hands on a count-out, you know." "I don't think either of these two wants to win by count-out. Or even go to a draw. Toxxic wants to show Alexander that there are still dues he needs to pay, and Alexander wants that title. I don't think Toxxic's ego would let him pull a cheap victory like that," Mak adds. "Cheap?! CHEAP?! You get the same paycheck no matter how you win, Francis. Anyone tells you anything else is selling you something." "It's about more than the paycheck to some people, King." "Those people just haven't gotten a big enough paycheck yet, Francis." Alexander staggers away, trying to put some distance between himself and Toxxic as he stumbles around the ringside area. The Englishman refuses to let up with his assault and, springing up onto the guardrail, follows the Mad Scientist and leaps off onto Alexander's shoulders, looking for a spinninghurricanrana . The Evil Genius, in desperation as much as malice, flings himself backwards, testing the Brit's stuff upper lip with a cracking hotshot on the ring apron! The Straight-Edger crumples to the floor across the now prone Alexander. Both men lie there for several moments as Samson continues his count, snarling out: Four... Five... Six... Seven... "Toxxic went to the well one too many times," Mak laments. "Everybody gets dealt a bad hand once in while," King comments laconically. "Even the great ones like me." Alexander claws his way to his feet, using the bottom rope to pull himself over the apron and back into the ring. He then immediately rolls back out to break the count, eliciting a snarl of irritation from the referee. Toxxic is looking like he may have been ready to head back in anyway, as the hotshot merely stunned him. The Evil Genius, however, wants to capitalize on this stoppage inToxxic's momentum. Michael closes with the Straight-Edger, delivering a small measure of payback as he cracks Toxxic's jaw with a forearm shot. He follows that up with a knee to the midsection, folding Toxxic into perfect position to be hurled back into the ring, which Alexander does in short order, following his opponent into the ring. Samson rumbles a warning at the Mad Scientist, who smirks as he stalks his opponent. "And now Alexander's back on the attack!" King chirps. Mak nods. "This is not something Toxxic wants, and he needs to do something about it quick. Alexander's like a shark once he gets on a roll, he's going to keep ripping at you until you go down." Toxxic, meanwhile, has made it up to one knee. Michael Alexander happily notes this fortunate positioning as he snaps a vicious kick into said knee. The Englishman grunts in pain, but forces himself up, knowing that he can't afford to let Alexander drive him off his feet. The Evil Genius drives forward beforeToxxic can regain his bearings, brutally firing short kicks into the inside and outside of Toxxic's now vulnerable leg. The Straight-Edger tries to hop back to give himself some breathing room, but Alexander stays close. He tries to follow up the leg kicks with a spinning back elbow toToxxic's head, in an attempt to keep him on the defensive. Unfortunately, Toxxic defends a little too well, ducking said elbow, and starts up a little series of his own, with alternating straight punches to the Mad Scientist's jaws! The audience, predictably, loves it. "Uh-oh," Mak sighs. "Toxxic's started on his roll..." "And that probably means a snake-eyes for Alexander at the end of it," King laughs. LEFT! YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" RIGHT! "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEAH!" LEFT! "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAH!" RIGHT! "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAH!" Toxxic smirks briefly as he flips the inverted "V" at his staggering opponent. He then spins, extending his arm for his patented finish to thispentagrammatical combination. Sadly, it seems that Alexander has learned his lesson after their last encounter, and the Evil Genius ducks the discus clothesline. "AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!" Before Toxxic can recover, Alexander steps up behind his off-balance opponent, slipping his arms under those of Toxxic, then clasping his hands behind Toxxic's neck. The Straight-Edger has a quick moment to understand his predicament before Alexander arches his back, flinging Toxxic over in a release dragon suplex! Toxxic's head and neck smash into the mat with a sickening crunch, his momentum causing him to roll completely over to lie face down on the mat. Heinstinctly covers his now-throbbing neck and head with his hands. Michael Alexander gets to his feet quickly. Gazing out at the audience, he mimicsToxxic's expression of his lifestyle by crossing his arms over his chest. The people in attendance, unsurprisingly, do not find this nearly as amusing as Michael Alexander. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" "Michael Alexander needs to drop this little routine and go after Toxxic," Mak admonishes. "Come on, Francis," King urges. "Every match is as much psychology as physicality, and this is how you get into your opponent's head." "It's also what gives a dazed opponent a chance to recover, King." The Evil Genius grins wickedly as he returns his attention to his opponent. Toxxic is crawling toward the ropes. Alexander stomps viciously on Toxxic's injured leg, drawing a gasp of pain from the Brit. Liking the sound of this, Alexander continues this tactic, delivering a barrage of stomps toToxxic's leg. Alexander then grabs his opponent's ankle to drag him back to the center of the ring. Toxxic , ring savvy still intact, reaches out and grabs the ropes. Alexander is reluctant to release his grip, but Samson forces him to break it, shoving the Evil Genius back to the center of the ring. Alexander looks like he might argue the point, but Samson's twitching eye makes him reconsider. Toxxic takes advantage of the respite to get back to his feet, using the ropes for extra support. He shakes injured leg a little before placing too much weight on it. Samson tells the two men to get on with it. Toxxic glares at Michael Alexander, who sees that glare and raises it with a smirk. "See, King? Had Alexander focused on maintaining Toxxic's position in the center of the ring, instead of mocking him, Toxxic wouldn't have been able to break up Alexander's offense with the ropes." "Oh, shut up, Francis." Almost as soon as Toxxic steps away from the ropes, he stumbles, and the Mad Scientist shoots in for a single leg takedown...which was exactly what Toxxic was waiting for, as he catches Alexander in a front facelock and rolls backwards to pull the Evil Genius into a small package! "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Samson slaps the mat for the count! ONE! TWO! THR-NO! Michael kicks out a look of utter shock on his face, quickly shifting into one of malicious fury. Toxxic rolls away, quickly getting back to his feet, favoring his leg only a little. He smiles at Alexander and holds up to fingers, which he waggles at Alexander pointedly before flipping them around to the British two finger salute that he has made famous even in America. "Now where is your harping, Francis? Now that it's Toxxic doing the mocking?" "Turnabout's fair play, King. And Toxxic's famous for this sort of thing." The Mad Scientist scrambles to his feet and charges Toxxic, his face twisted in rage. A wild clothesline misses as Toxxic ducks it easily. Alexander recovers quickly and turns around into a sitout jawbreaker from Toxxic! "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Alexander staggers away, holding his jaw. Toxxic follows him, flinging the Evil Genius into the ropes. The Englishman then charges at his rebounding opponent, dropping down to clip Alexander with a picture perfect soccer tackle! The Mad Scientist crashes face first into the mat as his legs are knocked out from under him. The Englishman lets his lopsided grin return once more as he rolls up to his feet, stepping over and tying Alexander's legs into adeathlock position, using his own legs to hold them in position, then he stretches out to hook in the 3/4 facelock needed to cinch in the Regal Stretch! Alexander rolls to the right and drives the point of his left elbow into the side of Toxxic's exposed head. The Straight-Edger is just stunned enough to allow the Evil Genius to squirm free of the leg lace and get to his feet. "Toxxic almost had him locked into the Regal Stretch...not good for Alexander, and probably a little humiliating as well, since that is so similar to his own submission of choice,"Mak observes. "Toxxic probably went for that a little early; you can't expect to get a complicated hold like that on a submission maestro like Alexander unless you've really worked him over," King replies. Toxxic is already up as well, and he refuses to let his opponent have any time to get collected, barreling in to fire a series of lefts and rights, topping things off with yet another European uppercut to force Alexander into the corner. The Englishman then tries to whip Alexander across the ring, but the Mad Scientist reverses the whip, sendingToxxic into the corner instead. Never one to simply go with the flow, Toxxic leaps up to the top turnbuckle and launches himself back at Alexander with a diving clothesline! Both men crash to the mat, withToxxic rolling with the momentum to regain his feet in short order. Unfortunately for Michael Alexander, his head bounces off the mat before the rest of him does, and he is much slower to regain his bearings. "YYYYYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" "Toxxic hits with the Role Reversal!" Mak shouts. "Not good for Michael," King laments. "But you can't expect much less from Toxxic." Toxxic stalks over toward Alexander and drags the stunned Southerner back to his feet. The Englishman smirks at the crowd as he pulls the American into a frontfacelock, draping Alexander's left arm over his head. The smirk broadens to a smile as Toxxic hooks his opponent's left leg, lifting him him up into position for his finisher of choice, the Caffeine Bomb. "He's got Michael Alexander in position for the Caffeine Bomb!" King howls. "This might be over right now! I'd hate to see it end like this!" "Don't worry, King. Dropping Alexander on his head can't do any lasting damage; his ego will cushion the blow." However, at the moment before Toxxic twists Alexander into position for the head drop, the Evil Genius snaps his right knee into Toxxic's head...once...the Englishman stumbles a little...twice...his grip loosens...thrice...and Alexander is able to slip free, coming down behindToxxic, back to back. The Mad Scientist immediately snakes his arms underneath those of Toxxic, and pulls the Straight-Edger's shoulders to the mat in a classic backslide! A surprised Samson goes for the count...! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" "An amazing reversal by Alexander! And he's got Toxxic's shoulders down!" Mak shouts hoarsely. "This could be it, Francis! Toxxic can't be thinking straight after those close knees to the head!" ONE...! TWO...! THREE... NO! "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Toxxic slips Alexander's grip just before Samson's hand hits the mat for three! Both men scramble back to their feet, and barrel into each other, both firing punches at the other! Toxxic's speed allow him to land a few more blows, and he begins to gain the upper hand. Finally, a somewhat dazed Alexander missed a big right hand and the Englishman slips inside to hook his arms around Alexander's upper body and hoist the Mad Scientist into a quickSambo suplex! "Toxxic got out and is lighting up Alexander now. He pummeled him silly and planted him with the Sambo suplex!" Mak says. "And that usually means Toxxic's going to take to the air..." King adds. Waisting no time now, Toxxic springs back to his feet and leaps up to the top turnbuckle nearby, then backflipping onto Alexander in a double-jump moonsault! "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Toxxic stays in the lateral press position, hooking Alexander's right leg for the pin! Brock Samson snarls out the count! ONE...! TWO...! THREE... NO! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" This time it's Alexander's turn to squirm a shoulder up just inside the three count! Toxxic snorts at Samson in disbelief, but doesn't argue the point. "Ooo! Just shy of three from the Radford Calling, King. Even as much as I dislike Alexander, he's really giving this all he's got." "Yes, but right now he's taking everything Toxxic's got, and that's a recipe for losing if he keeps it up, Francis." He instead pulls Alexander up into a sitting position, holding his arms, then wraps his legs around the Mad Scientist's head and neck in a double-leg nelson! Toxxic cranks away as the Evil Genius snarls in pain, and the crowd offers its own form of encouragement. "TAP! TAP! TAP!" "Toxxic clamps on that double-leg nelson...he's obviously looking to wear down Alexander now," Mak points out. "And it sets up for any one of Toxxic's finishing moves...all of them hit either the neck or shoulders." King adds. Michael manages to squirm his right arm free and uses it and his legs to pull himself toward the ropes, slipping his foot just onto the bottom rope. Brock Samson rumbles atToxxic , and the hold is broken. Michael Alexander takes advantage of the forced break to slide quickly to the outside, clutching his chest and left shoulder. Toxxic smirks as Samson begins to count Alexander out... One... Two... Three... "Alexander managed to wriggle out of the double-leg nelson, and he dodges out of the ring," Mak observes with distaste. "Tactical retreat, Francis," King replies sagely. "Soundest strategy in that kind of situation." The Englishman slides out after Alexander. The Mad Scientist was waiting on such a move, and as soon as Toxxic touches down on the floor nearby, Alexander drives a forearm into the Brit's head, staggering him. He then grabs Toxxic's head and bounces it off the ring apron. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" "And Toxxic falls into a classic trap," Mak says. "Alexander, just that quickly, is able to get back into control." "Even the best can still make a mistake," King remarks. "And Michael Alexander is not one to let an opportunity like that one slip past him." Four... Five... Six... Michael shoves Toxxic back into the ring roughly, then slides under the ropes himself. Alexander drives a hard kick into Toxxic's midsection, rolling him further into the ring. The Mad Scientist then turns his attention back Toxxic's leg, the subject of his earlier efforts, pummeling it with repeated Garvin-style stomps hitting ankle, calf, knee, and thigh. The Englishman grunts in pain, but still manages to roll away. "We're back into Michael Alexander's territory now, King. He's latched onto that weakened leg like a pit bull." "It just shows you how good Alexander is, Francis. Toxxic made one of his rare mistakes, and now Michael is right back into his zone, focusing on the leg and doing damage." Alexander follows and, hoisting the somewhat hobbled Straight-Edger back to his feet, shoves him into the nearby corner. BeforeToxxic can start any sort of defense, the Evil Genius peppers him with alternating knife-edge and kesagiri chops to the chest until Toxxic slumps in the corner. At this point, Michael drops back a bit, seemingly favoring his right shoulder. "Michael may have aggravated that shoulder that Toxxic applied some pressure to earlier in the match, King. He needs to be careful with that, as it can leave openings for his opponent." "Alexander's fine, Francis. He managed to corner Toxxic and just lit him up with those chops. Sometimes you have to be willing to take a little pain yourself to hurt your opponent." Alexander doesn't let this stop him for long, however. He goes right back after the Englishman, but Toxxic stops him with a sharp kick to the gut. The Straight-Edger then hauls himself up to the second turnbuckle, and springs at Alexander, going for a European uppercut...but Alexander is out of the way! Toxxic tries to catch himself, and actually does land on his feet, but his weakened leg causes him to stumble slightly. This gives the Evil Genius all the opening he needs snagToxxic's injured leg from behind, lifting it quickly into the crook of his arm and dropping with a backward spin to whip Toxxic to the mat with an inverted dragon screw! "Toxxic had a brief resurgence there, but Michael put the breaks on it with that inverted dragon screw. This usually leads into something, King..." "Usually, my foot, Francis...it's leading to it NOW!" The Evil Genius immediately rolls up and laces Toxxic's legs around his own...but before he can drop back to tie the Gordian Knot, the Straight-Edger uses his arms to push himself up, giving him additional leverage to push with his legs. This sudden and unexpected wrenching causes Alexander to topple...right onto the second rope, as he had positionedToxxic away from the ropes in order to make it more difficult to escape. "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" "Toxxic with a brilliant counter before Alexander can get the Knot tied! That's why he's champion, King!" "Damn straight, Francis. If there's one thing Michael Alexander should know after tonight, it's that you can't wrestle Toxxic by rote. That gave Toxxic an opening, and it may be enough to put Alexander away!" The Mad Scientist slumps on the rope, the force of the guillotine enough to cause him some difficulty breathing. Toxxic gets back to his feet, a little shaky, but smirking once more. Michael slowly makes his way off of the rope, and Toxxic is clearly stalking him. As the Mad Scientist turns around, Toxxic snatches his head into a cravate, then turns him around to allow him to leap up to the top rope and spin around...but Alexander grabs and holds on to the top rope, and his close-shaved head makes it easy forToxxic to lose his grip in the complex maneuver. "This time it's Michael Alexander with another desperation counter! But he may be just postponing the inevitable, King..." "Nothing is inevitable, Francis. But at this point, odds are a little shaky for Alexander." The Englishman falls roughly to the mat, more annoyed than injured, and starts to roll over to get to his feet. Alexander, seizing an opportunity, dives atToxxic, hooking the Straight-Edge Sensation into an Oklahoma roll! "Alexander with an Oklahoma roll on Toxxic; I think this is a definite sign of desperation, King." "Desperation...maybe. But the more times you're able to put your opponent's shoulders on the mat, the more you mess with his head..." ONE...! TWO...! THREE... THREE?! THREE!!!!!!! Toxxic's face is painted in various deep shades of disbelief. Brock Samson raises his eyebrow in consternation. Even the fans, knowing and having seen what just happened, are completely silent for several moments. Even Michael Alexander looks a little surprised by the event for a split second before his ego reasserts itself. DING! DING! DING! "OH...MY...GOD!" Mak coughs out in disbelief. "Michael Alexander just pinned Toxxic...! He's the new champion!" Even the King's verbosity is somewhat quelled. "He pinned Toxxic...Toxxic...with...an...Oklahoma roll?!" Even Funyon looks incredulous as he calls out the results. "Ladies and Gentlemen...here is your winner...and NEW SWF WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION...MIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICHAEL AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALEXAAAAAAAAAAAAAANDER!" At this announcement, the audience once more finds its voice. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Brock Samson, somewhat reluctantly, raises the hand of a panting Michael Alexander, handing him the SWF World Title belt. Michael Alexander grabs the belt and hoists it high over his head, grinning wickedly at the audience. "I still am having a hard time believing this, folks," Mak says, breathing heavily. "Michael Alexander, in less than a year in the SWF, has just taken down Toxxic for the biggest prize in the federation. What else can I say?" "TOXXIC...TOXXIC...an Oklahoma roll?!" King croaks in disbelief. Toxxic snaps something inaudible at Brock Samson, who just shrugs and holds up three fingers to the Englishman, who fumes to point of nearly bursting into flames. Michael Alexander meanwhile smiles over atToxxic cruelly as he rolls over the top rope and out of the ring. He walks up the ramp, pumping his arm to show off the belt. At the top of the ramp, the Mad Scientist turns once more to the arena andToxxic lifting the title over his head with one hand and raises the other to extend three fingers in sequence, pointing at Toxxic with a devilish grin. "That's a hell of a way to lead in to the Clusterfuck, King." "Now those guys have gotten a good look at what they're up against," King finally regains his composure. "A hell of a match here, and whoever wins tonight better be ready...that's all I've got to say." Michael Alexander turns to leave the stage and buckles the belt around his waist, tapping it. The camera goes into tight focus on the belt as we... FADE OUT.

Stepping through the curtains, Dance Dance Dragon is greeted by SWF Commissioner Landon Maddix, who has been watching the show apparantly from this position. Landon climbs up out of his seat and pats Dragon on the back as he looks down at the ground, clearly breathing heavily after his match. "Hey, good effort out there tonight." Looking up, the masked Dragon brushes past Landon and walks off into the distance without his usual skip in the step. "Okay, that wasn't the least bit unneccessary." Maddix mutters to himself, as he sits back down.

FADE IN “We’re keeping the action going here tonight,” says Mak Francis, “as we get ready for the highly anticipated rematch between Wildchild and Dance Dance Dragon, and this time, it’ll be for the World Cruiserweight Championship!” “Wildchild was lucky to escape with a time-limit draw at Class in Session,” says the Suicide King. “Tonight will be different, though: tonight there’ll be a one-hour time limit, and Wildchild’s not going to be able to run out the clock this time!” “While King’s version of their last matchup is somewhat revisionist,” quips Mak, “an extended time limit will definitely mitigate one of the Champion’s advantages… King, I thought that you were a guy that tends to be in favor of the Champion having all the benefits he can?” “Usually I am,” replies King. “But, in Wildchild’s case, I’ll make an exception!” “You’d trade the devil you know for the devil you don’t?” “Once again,” affirms King, “in this case, absolutely! At least I know that Dragon will actually attempt to wrestle every once in a while!” “Okay then,” says Mak. “Biases aside, how do you see the match playing out?” “I actually see Dragon holding a slight favorite in this match,” replies King thoughtfully. “I mean, he knows what to expect from Wildchild, and he wrestles a mixture of high-flying and strong style that Wildchild has proven to have difficulty with. Not only that, but Dragon knows that he can counter the only move in Wildchild’s arsenal that he really has to fear… And let’s not forget that he had Wildchild knocked out cold in their last match, Francis: if it weren’t for that time-limit escape, Dragon would already hold a pinfall victory over the World Cruiserweight Champion!” “That’s a very solid argument, King,” concedes Mak. “But I’ve learned not to bet against Wildchild when that World Cruiserweight Title is at stake. Wildchild kicks it into a whole other gear when that belt’s on the line; he’s beaten more than a handful of wrestlers that you would have thought would have an advantage over him, when that title was on the line!” “Francis, all things must come to an end,” replies King. “I was down on Dance Dance Dragon when he first came to the SWF, but he made a believer out of me. He’s going into this match with some good momentum, and that all-important psychological edge! I foresee the title changing hands here tonight!” “You’ve been foreseeing the title changing hands ever since Genesis,” snarks Mak. “But, as well as the Dragon’s been wrestling lately, this could be the night that King is finally right! Without any further ado, let’s send it up to Funyon in the ring!” DING! DING! DING! “Ladies and gentlemen,” booms Funyon, “our next match… is for the SWF World Cruiserweight Championship, with a one-hour time limit!” YEAAAAAAAAAAH! With that, the lights dim, and the entranceway is illuminated by a rotating Dance Dance Revolution hologram. Suddenly, Madonna’s “Hung Up” begins playing as the Dragon makes his way out from behind the curtain! “The following contest is scheduled for one fall!” continues Funyon. “Making his way towards the ring at this time is the challenger! From Heaven’s Dancefloor, and weighing two hundred eleven pounds… Dance! DAAAAANCE! DUUUUUH-RAAAAAGON!” Dragon slaps hands with the fans leaning over the barricade as he dance down to the ring. “There doesn’t appear to be any lack of confidence on the part of the challenger,” notes Mak as Dragon slides underneath the bottom rope to enter the ring. “Why would there be,” replies King, as the lights come back on in the arena. “I told you before, Dragon knows he can beat this guy; why shouldn’t he be confident?” Dragon submits himself to inspection from referee Ronald “Red” Herrington as his music fades out. Dragon’s dancers all run backstage as the arena once again darkens: ATTENTION! RAAAAAAAAAAH! ALL YOU NIGGAZ! ALL YOU BITCHES! TIME TO PUT DOWN THE CRISTAL, TIME TO TAKE OFF THE ICE FOR A MINUTE… TIME TO THROW A LITTLE MUD IN THIS MOTHERFUCKAAAAA… The crowd becomes frantic as Redman’s “Let’s Get Dirty” begins to play; a single spotlight pulses at the entranceway as Wildchild steps out from behind the curtain! YEAAAAAAAAAAH! “His opponent,” booms Funyon, “hails from the Bahamas, and weighs two hundred fourteen pounds! He is the SWF World Cruiserweight Champion: the WIIIIILDCHIIIIILD!” Wildchild slaps hands with the fans at ringside as he makes his way down the aisle as well. “There doesn’t appear to be any lack of confidence on the part of Wildchild either, King,” says Mak, as WC somersaults between the ropes to enter the ring. “He may not have managed to beat Dragon when they last faced, but he is coming off a successful defense against Hollywood Spike Jenkins… By the way, didn’t you say that Jenkins held the favorite in that match, too?” “Anybody can get lucky,” replies King dismissively, as the lights come back on. “And I strongly suggest that you watch your tone when you talk to me; if you keep up this, you’ll be back doing cripple porn for the internet where I found you!” As the two announcers continue to bicker, WC submits himself to inspection from the referee, and then surrenders the World Cruiserweight Championship to him. Herrington holds the belt overhead, displaying it to the crowd, and then hands it to the departing Funyon, as Wildchild’s music fades out. Herrington then motions for the timekeeper to ring the bell, signifying the start of the match: DING! DING! DING! “Bell’s gone,” shouts Mak, “and we’re underway!” Dragon and WC meet in the center of the ring for a collar-and-elbow tie-up, and Wildchild quickly takes advantage, dropping to his knees and shooting between Dragon’s legs to take the challenger by surprise with a fireman’s carry takeover! Wildchild applies a reverse chinlock, and then quickly shifts into a side headlock, laying out to flatten Dragon against the canvas. The Masked Dance Assassin manages a deft counter, rolling WC backwards into a cradle: ONE! Wildchild kicks out at one. Both men roll to their feet and move to lock up again; Wildchild again takes control with a side headlock, and Dragon counters by turning into WC’s body and reversing into a top wristlock. Dragon begins to use his strength advantage to power Wildchild over backwards, but the Champion bridges to avoid being pushed directly to the canvas. “Some fine wrestling to start this matchup,” says Mak. “Terrific counter by Dragon into the top wristlock, but a VERY nice bridge by the Wildchild!” Dragon headbutts Wildchild in the chest to push him down to the canvas: ONE! Wildchild bridges back up on a one count. He gets his feet under him and begins to fight to return to an upright position; the fans begin stomping on the floor in unison, rallying behind the Champion as he pushes against Dragon to return to a vertical base… only for the challenger to bury a knee into his midsection! Dragon pushes Wildchild backwards into a neutral corner, and lets go of WC before Herrington can order him to break… SMACK! … Only for DDD to lay into Wildchild’s chest with a vicious reverse knife-edge chop! Dragon quickly follows with two more chops and then chains it with an elbow to form the Violence Party combo! Dragon whips Wildchild across the ring and follows him into the corner with a tremendous rolling Koppou kick that knocks the Champion down to his posterior! Dragon pulls WC back to his feet and delivers another chop before grabbing him by the wrist to whip him back across the ring; Wildchild surprises him with a reversal, but DDD plants his hands on the top turnbuckle and launches himself backwards over the inbound Champion. The Strong Style Party Animal runs back across the ring as Wildchild gives chase, and leaps nimbly up to the top turnbuckle, launching himself backwards to crash into WC with a moonsault press! Dragon holds him down for a cover: ONE! TWO! Wildchild kicks out at two, and Dragon applies a reverse chinlock as the Champion sits up. Wildchild quickly negotiates himself back to his feet, and the Bemani Bruiser leads him back into the neutral corner and stuns him with several kicks to the midsection, followed by another knife-edge chop, before whipping him across the ring; this time, however, the Bahama Bomber plants his hands on the top turnbuckle as he approaches the corner, and raises his legs off the canvas to lock his ankles behind the head of the inbound challenger, and take him over with a swinging headscissors! “Nice defensive maneuver by the Wildchild,” says Mak, as Dragon rolls across the ring, using the ropes in the corner to pull himself to his feet. WC wastes no time in going after him, pushing Dragon back against the ropes… SMACK! *WHOOOOO!* … And delivering a chop of his own! SMACK! *WHOOOOO!* Wildchild grabs Dragon by the wrist and whips him across the ring, only for Dragon to reverse, sending WC crashing back-first into the corner; Dragon charges in after him, but WC quickly gets his leg up to drive his foot into the challenger’s face! The Human Hurricane eases up to the middle ropes as Dragon stumbles out of the corner and leaps back into the ring, landing in a seated position on DDD’s shoulders and arching backwards as he swings his body around to take Dragon over with a scintillating Dragonrana! WC rolls Dragon onto his back and applies a cover: ONE! TWO! Dragon kicks out at two! The challenger instinctively rolls over onto his stomach, and the Champion applies an armbar to the right arm; Dragon begins to negotiate his way to his feet, but the Tropical Tumbler surprises him by leaping off the canvas behind him, scissoring the left arm with his legs while maintaining control of the right arm, and pulling the challenger backwards into a crucifix pin! ONE! TWO! Dragon kicks out at two! Both men get back to their feet and Wildchild takes an early advantage, stunning the challenger with two quick forearms to the side of the head before grabbing him by the wrist to whip him across the ring, only for Dragon to reverse; the Bemani Bruiser bellies out as WC bounces off the ropes, and then quickly springs to his feet as the Champion rebounds a second time, and scoops him into a fireman’s carry, and into an Airplane Spin! “Speed Modifier!” shouts Mak, as Dragon spins around several times, before dumping his opponent off his shoulder to the canvas. “Nothing like a Speed Modifier to neutralize a faster opponent!” “And look at this,” cries King, as Dragon swoops in behind his fallen opponent, “right into the Dragon Sleeper! Excellent chain wrestling by the challenger; he’s really done his homework to prepare for this match!” Herrington looks into Wildchild’s face and asks him if he wants to give up, but the Champion aggressively responds in the negative. Dragon, realizing that his opponent isn’t compromised enough to put him away with the Dragon Sleeper, releases the hold, opting instead to pull Wildchild to his feet. DDD backs WC against the ropes and whips him across the ring, scooping him up into his arms as he rebounds to deliver a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker, but the Caribbean Cruiser deftly counters into a tilt-a-whirl headscissors instead, that sends Dragon flying across the ring! WC waits for Dragon to get to his feet before charging across the ring, leaping off the canvas to knock both he and Dragon outside the ring with a flying cross-body block… CRASH! … But the Masked Dance Assassin ducks out of the way, pulling the top rope down slightly as Wildchild sails out of the ring, crashing onto the no-longer-padded concrete floor! “Was that a disqualification?” wonders Mak, as Dragon steps out onto the apron. “It shouldn’t be,” replies King. “That was Wildchild’s own momentum that took him over those ropes; he didn’t go over the top as the result of an offensive move!” Dragon waits for WC to get to his feet before running across the apron and diving feet-first out to the floor, knocking the Champion back to the floor with a running front missile dropkick! “At any rate, it was a beautiful fake out by the Dragon,” replies Mak, “as the challenger maintains his advantage with a wicked running dropkick off the apron!” Dragon rolls back into the ring and enjoys a few seconds of recovery time as Wildchild struggles to get back on to the apron; once WC gets to his feet, Dragon rushes over to him and traps him in a front facelock, lifting him overhead to suplex him back into the ring… but the Bahama Bomber rotates through and lands on his feet behind the challenger, leaping off the canvas as Dragon turns around and knocking him through the ropes with a standing dropkick! “I love this fast-paced action, King!” shouts Mak, as Wildchild pumps his fists to incite the crowd. “The counters are going back and forth between these two!” WC runs to the neutral corner and leaps onto the top turnbuckle as Dragon gets to his feet, running across the top rope and leaping out of the ring, landing on the challenger’s shoulders and ripping his feet abruptly off the floor with a breathtaking swinging headscissors! DUB CEE! DUB CEE! DUB CEE! DUB CEE! “Andros Dive!” shrieks Mak. “Andros Dive into a headscissors, right out on the concrete floor!” “This kid’s insane!” roars King. “He’s taking more chances now than he did back when we HAD pads on the floors!” Wildchild pulls Dragon to his feet and rolls him back into the ring; he then climbs up onto the apron and heads over to the nearby corner; he leaps over the top rope and lands on the top turnbuckle facing the crowd, but the Bemani Bruiser pulls the rug out from under him, crotching the Champion on the top turnbuckle! DDD climbs up to the middle turnbuckles and applies a full Nelson before popping his hips… WHAM! … Launching WC back into the ring and driving his head into the canvas with a Dragon Superplex! The damage he sustained from earlier moves catches up with him, however, and Dragon is unable to hold onto the full Nelson or the bridge for the pin. HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! “Oh. My… GOD!” shouts Mak. “Dragon Superplex! I’ve never seen anything like that in all my years of wrestling!” “Wildchild’s lucky that Dragon couldn’t hold that bridge,” adds King, “or this match would be over right now!” Dragon remains motionless for several more seconds before crawling over to Wildchild to apply a cover: ONE! TWO! THR—NO! Wildchild just gets the shoulder up! Dragon rolls out to the apron and uses the ropes to pull himself to his feet; he staggers over to the nearby corner and climbs up to the top turnbuckle, but not before stopping to salute the crowd. “Dragon’s giving the sign for that patented double stomp off the top,” says Mak, “but he’s wasting too much time!” Too much time, indeed. For DDD isn’t even paying attention to the ring, certain that WC is still incapacitated, and fails to notice the Champion struggling to get back to his feet. Dragon leaps blindly back into the ring, his body locked into position for the double stomp… WHAM! … Which leaves him helpless to defend against the Tropical Tumbler, who counters with a desperation standing dropkick! “A big mistake by Dragon, and it may cost him the match,” King says sadly. WC crawls over towards the challenger and applies a lateral press: ONE! TWO! Dragon kicks out at two! WC pulls Dragon to his feet and stuns him with a knife-edge chop; he then grabs DDD by the wrist and whips him across the ring, but lowers his head to deliver a back-body drop, and Dragon makes him pay for it with an axe-handle blow to the back! Dragon traps the Champion in a standing headscissors and lifts WC upside-down before grabbing him by the trunks… CRUNCH! … And driving Wildchild headfirst into the canvas with a pulling piledriver! Dragon applies a lateral press: ONE! “What a move!” shouts Mak. TWO! “I think he got him with that one!” says King gleefully. THREE! NO! Wildchild gets the shoulder up! The fans all stomp their feet on the ground in support of the Cruiserweight Champion, as Dragon holds three fingers up to the referee, only to have two fingers shoved back into his face in response! “Boy was that close!” shouts Mak, as Dragon pulls WC to his feet. “Well, it’s no secret that Red Herrington has trouble counting to three sometimes,” grumbles King, as Dragon leads WC over to the corner and lifts him up onto the top turnbuckle; the Masked Dance Assassin climbs up onto the top turnbuckle himself, only for the Champion to push him back into the ring. Wildchild tries to position himself on the turnbuckles to execute an attack of his own, but Dragon recovers too quickly, charging into the corner and stunning WC with a running leaping palm strike! The challenger then turns with his back to the Champion, reaching up to grab him underneath his arms before flipping him off the turnbuckles… WHAM! … And slamming Wildchild into the canvas with an Iconoclasm! “Iconoclasm!” shouts Mak, as Dragon reaches over WC’s body to grab a leg. “That’s going to do it!” ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! “Unbelievable that Wildchild could kick out of that Iconoclasm,” says King. “I was sure that was it!” Dragon pulls Wildchild to his feet and leads him over to a neutral corner; he lifts WC up to the top turnbuckle, and then turns to face the ring, signaling for one more Iconoclasm. DDD reaches up to grab Wildchild… CRACK! … But the Bahama Bomber lowers the boom on the challenger, courtesy of an elbow smash to the top of the head! WC quickly follows up with double fist-box to the ears, and then kicks Dragon in the back of the head, sending him stumbling towards the center of the ring! The Human Hurricane scrambles to the top turnbuckle and turns to face the crowd before leaping fearlessly backwards into the ring, landing in a seated position on Dragon’s shoulders, and locking his legs around DDD’s neck as he arches backwards, pulling the challenger into a rana pin! ONE! TWO! THR—NO! Dragon barely kicks out at two! Wildchild, incredulous, gets to his feet and into the face of referee Red Herrington, screaming about a slow count, and completely fails to notice Dragon recovering behind him. “Nice to see Herrington’s slow count screw somebody else for a change!” says King, as DDD gets back to his feet. “But, I’ll tell you, Wildchild was an eyelash away from retaining his… WOW! Did he catch him!” King’s remarks refer to the fact that the Bemani Bruiser sneaks up behind Wildchild and knocks him off of his feet with a tremendous rolling elbow! Dragon quickly pulls WC to his feet and traps him in a front facelock; he reaches down to grab the leg and lifts him overhead for a vertical suplex, only to drop him forward stomach-first onto the top rope! “Yikes!” cringes Mak. “The Dragon hung him out to dry!” “That was like a slingshot suplex,” muses King, as Dragon runs to the ropes, “only he left out the suplex!” The Masked Dance Assassin picks up speed as he bounces off the ropes and somersaults forward, slicing down onto the top of WC’s head with a rolling Koppou kick that sends him falling inside the ring! “Good grief!” shouts Mak. “That was devastating!” “And it was also very smart,” adds King. “Dragon was very smart to make sure that he hit Wildchild with a kick that had a downward motion on it; that forced Wildchild’s momentum to bring him back into the ring, and it saved the Dragon from a potential disqualification!” Dragon pulls WC to his feet and traps him in an inverted front-facelock; DDD lifts the Champion overhead and swings him backwards… WHAM! … Driving him down with an Osaka Street Cutter! Dragon rolls WC over onto his back and applies a lateral press: ONE! TWO! Wildchild just gets the shoulder up! Dragon gets to his feet and rolls WC onto his back; the Masked Dance Assassin runs towards the edge of the ring and breaks into a DDR sequence as he bounces off the ropes, before leaping into the air… WHAM! … And driving the DDR Elbow down into Wildchild’s chest! Dragon holds his shoulders down for a cover: ONE! TWO! THR—NO! Dragon pounds the canvas in frustration, insisting with the referee that it should have been three! He pulls WC to his feet and bends him over at the waist; he then positions himself in front of the Champion and gives the sign for the Dance Dance DDT… BANG! … But the Bahama Bomber suddenly grabs Dragon from behind and snatches him off the canvas, dropping him backwards on his head and folded him up with a backdrop suplex! DUB CEE! DUB CEE! DUB CEE! DUB CEE! “Beautiful counter by the Wildchild,” says Mak. “But you have to wonder how much the last two or three minutes have taken out of him?” WC runs to the ropes and leaps into the air as he rebounds, swinging his legs up and around Dragon’s head, and taking him over with a satellite headscissors! “Wildchild has been very proficient with that headscissors tonight,” notes Mak. “Every time he’s gotten into any kind of trouble, he’s gone back to that headscissors.” “You know what that tells me, Francis?” chimes King. “It tells me that Wildchild is hesitant to go for that Wild Ride!” “What?” asks Mak. “What do you mean by that, King?” “Well, just think about it,” replies King. “I know how it’s easy to look at Wildchild doing all kinds of high-flying moves, and think that they all look the same… but just think about it for a minute: he’s been doing about the same amount of high-flying that he always does, but none of his moves have targeted the head or the upper back! No leg lariats, no Cutters, no monkey flips, no axe-handles from the top… hell, he hasn’t even once tried to use those illegal shin guards he’s got on! You know what that tells me? It tells me that he’s not confident that he can hit the Wild Ride on this guy!” “Well, that concern may be somewhat legitimate,” says Mak, as WC pulls Dragon to his feet. “You said before that he knows that Dragon can counter the Wild Ride, and even though we, as wrestlers, don’t like to believe it, having the knowledge that someone knows a killer counter to your best move weighs in the back of your mind, and you start to drift a little away from your gameplan, like Wildchild has here tonight!” WC grabs Dragon by the back of the head and leads him over to the edge of the ring, leaping over the top rope and down to the floor as he clotheslines DDD against the top rope with the Macho Neck Snap! YEAAAAAAAAAAH! “Quick thinking by the Wildchild!” praises Mak. “King, he’s been excellent on both offense and defense here tonight!” Wildchild climbs back onto the apron and waits for Dragon to get to his feet before leaping onto the top rope and springing back into the ring towards his opponent, landing in a seated position on Dragon’s shoulders. Before the Caribbean Cruiser can wrap his legs around the challenger’s head, Dragon pushes him off forcefully, and he flips backwards gracefully down to the canvas… WHACK! … But the Bemani Bruiser lunges forward suddenly, slashing his heel through the air and blasting Wildchild in the knee basement dropkick! Dragon scrambles back to his feet and runs to the ropes, charging towards WC as he pushes himself up off the canvas… CRACK! … And blasting him in the face with a running kneelift that sends the Champion rolling across the ring and out to the arena floor! “Amazing counter to that Hurracanrana attempt,” shots Mak. “Dragon is starting to show signs of life in this match!” Dragon steps out onto the ring apron and turns to face the inside of the ring as Wildchild gets back to his feet, before hopping onto the bottom rope and flipping backwards out onto the arena floor… SPLASH! … Crashing into the Cruiserweight Champion with a picture-perfect Asai moonsault! Dragon pulls Wildchild to his feet and leads him over to the edge of the ring, rolling him underneath the bottom rope back into the ring, before using the ropes to pull himself back onto the ring apron. Upon standing up, he immediately runs to the corner and climbs to the top rope, leaping back into the ring… WHAM! … And landing on top of Wildchild with a Double Stomp! He collapses atop WC, holding the Champion’s upper body to the canvas with his own as the referee dives into position to assess the three count: ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! “Dragon was able to score with that Excellent double stomp,” notes Mak, “but Wildchild found it within himself to kick out!” “Wildchild may have been able to kick out of that,” replies King, “but he’s going to be on the defensive now; Dragon turned the tide of this match with that dropkick to the knee, and now Wildchild will have to wrestle defensively which, despite his improvement as a wrestler, is something that he still has yet to prove that he’s consistently capable of doing.” Dragon pulls WC to his feet and whips him to the ropes; he bellies out as Wildchild bounces off the ropes, but the Tropical Tumbler cartwheels over his back. DDD gets back to his feet and runs to the ropes, but Wildchild leapfrogs him as he rebounds, and the quickly spins around and leaps into the air to catch Dragon as he bounces off the ropes a second time with a spectacular rana! “Another beautiful rana,” says Mak, “but King, I’m starting to think that you were onto something! Wildchild’s going to have to come up with something big to get over this psychological hump!” Wildchild unleashes a feral scream as Dragon gets to his feet, and runs towards the edge of the ring; the Champion picks up speed as he bounces off the ropes, leaps into the air as he rebounds, knocking DDD off his feet with a leg lariat! Rather than go for the cover, however, the Human Hurricane quickly gets back to his feet and runs to the ropes, leaping into the air as Dragon gets back to his feet and hitting another leg lariat! “Here we go!” shouts Mak, as WC runs to the ropes to hit Dragon with a third leg lariat! “Now the tempo’s picked up!” The Champion then scrambles to his feet and runs to the ropes to knock the challenger down yet again! YEAAAAAAAAAAH! “Wildchild’s got it stuck on overdrive!” shouts Mak. “Dragon doesn’t know whether he’s coming or going!” “This looks similar to what Wildchild did towards the end of the match against Spike Jenkins,” says King, as WC exits to the apron. “Only he used the cross-body to do his damage then!” Wildchild climbs up to the top rope and waits for Dragon to get back to his feet before leaping down into the ring with a missile dropkick to the back of Dragon’s head that sends him skidding across the ring! WC scrambles over to the challenger and rolls him over to apply a cover: ONE! TWO! THREE! NO! DRAGON GETS THE SHOULDER UP! Wildchild gestures towards the sky with his hands as he makes his way over to a neutral corner and climbs up to the top turnbuckle, but Dragon suddenly springs back to his feet and rushes up behind WC, getting up underneath him and lifting the Champion up onto his shoulders; Dragon climbs up to the middle turnbuckle and then falls back… WHAM! … Driving Wildchild back into the canvas with a reverse electric chair drop! “Electric chair!” shouts Mak, as Dragon rolls atop Wildchild and hooks the leg. “That’s got to do it!” Herrington dives into position to cover: ONE! TWO! TH—NO! Dragon scoops WC into his arms and slams him down to the canvas; he then runs over to the ropes, going through a sequence of contortions as he rebounds, before leaping into the air and coming down with a kneedrop across Wildchild’s sternum. “Strong Style Shuffle!” shouts Mak, as Dragon gets to his feet. “And he’s giving the sign for the Newbie Killer!” Dragon pulls WC to his feet and doubles him over at the waist; he positions himself in front of the Champion, but before he can reach back to secure the arms, Wildchild lifts DDD up and into a backdrop suplex! WHAM! … Only for the Bemani Bruiser to counter, shifting his weight and reversing into a modified cross-body! Dragon remains atop the Champion for the cover: ONE! TWO! WC kicks out at two! Dragon pulls WC to his feet and whips him into the ropes, lifting him off the canvas as he rebounds and slamming him face-first into the canvas with a flapjack; the challenger then quickly gets to his feet and measures Wildchild for three stiff kicks to the chest, the final one of which knocks Wildchild flat on his back! “Well executed Combo by the Dance Dance Dragon,” says Mak, as Dragon pulls WC to his feet; the challenger traps Wildchild in an inverted front-facelock, and then drops down to the canvas, driving the back of the Champion’s head into the canvas with a diving reverse DDT! Dragon applies a cover: ONE! TWO! TH—NO! Wildchild gets the shoulder up! “Wildchild’s showing tremendous heart in there,” says Mak, as Dragon pulls WC to his feet, “but Dragon appears to have this match under control. Dragon grabs Wildchild by the wrist and whips him across the ring, slamming him back-first into the turnbuckles. DDD lowers his head as WC staggers out of the corner to deliver a back-body drop… WHAM! … But the Bahama Bomber leaps into the air and extends his leg across the back of Dragon’s neck, driving the challenger face-first into the canvas with a Caribbean Cutter! YEAAAAAAAAAAH! “Cutter!” shouts Mak. “That may have turned the tide!” WC crawls over to the Dragon and rolls him over for a cover: ONE! TWO! Dragon kicks out at two! WC rolls out to the apron and climbs up to the top turnbuckle; he waits for the challenger to get to his feet before diving back into the ring, wrapping his arms around Dragon’s waist and taking him over into a flying Sunset Flip! CRACK! … But the Masked Dance Assassin rolls through and kicks Wildchild in the face! Dragon pulls Wildchild to his feet and traps him in a Dragon Sleeper, but the Caribbean Cruiser counters, spinning out of the sleeper and reversing into a side Bahaman Legsweep! YEAAAAAAAAAAH! “Another terrific counter by the Wildchild,” says Mak. “And King, the last several minutes, it’s looked like Wildchild is in fact trying to set up for that Wild Ride!” “He could very well be playing into the Dragon’s plans,” says King. Wildchild pulls Dragon to his feet and grabs him by the wrist, whipping him across the ring and into the corner. He charges into the corner himself, leaping into the air and twisting to deliver the Blue Crush, but Dragon dives out of the way; the Human Hurricane, however, lands safely on the turnbuckles, and waits for Dragon to get back to his feet before leaping into the ring and locking his ankles around the back of DDD’s head, taking him over with a reverse headscissors! “Back to the headscissors,” says Mak, as WC pulls Dragon to his feet. “He’s had that working all night… And now it looks like he’s actually going to take a chance on the Wild Ride!” Wildchild doubles Dragon over at the waist and steps into position to hook the Wild Ride. DDD waits patiently for the Champion to hook the arms before lifting up from underneath… … But before Dragon can get WC over his shoulders, the Bahama Bomber slips his arms out and pitches forward, pulling the challenger into a modified victory roll! “Victory Roll!” shouts Mak, as Herrington dives into position to count. “He countered into the Victory Roll!” ONE! TWO! THREEE! DING! DING! DING! YEAAAAAAAAAAH! The crowd erupts as “Let’s Get Dirty begins to play again! Wildchild rolls out to the arena floor as Dance Dance Dragon sits upright, a look of what is presumably disbelief on his face behind the mask. “He outsmarted him!” shouts Mak, as Herrington exits the ring to retrieve the belt from the timekeeper. “Wildchild showed tremendous resourcefulness in baiting Dragon into that move, and he was able to successfully retain the World Cruiserweight Championship! Let’s go to Funyon for the official word!” “The winner of this contest,” booms Funyon, “And… STIIIIIL SWF World Cruiserweight Champion… the WIIIIILDCHIIIIILD!” Herrington returns the Cruiserweight Title to Wildchild and raises his hand in victory. “Wildchild used Dragon’s game plan against him,” says Mak. “He knew that Dragon was waiting on him to go for the Wild Ride so he could use that counter, and he baited Dragon the whole match, by not going for the Wild Ride at all, not even attempting any of his usual setup moves, until he was sure that Dragon would go for that counter, and then he suckered him right in!” “That he did,” concedes King. “I didn’t think that Wildchild was capable of that kind of strategy, but he’s showing me that maybe he really has grown as a wrestler. I’ll admit that he surprised me!” A weary Dragon leans heavily over the top rope, still incredulous over what he must personally consider an upset; “I know I can beat this kid,” he must think… As Wildchild backs up the aisle, however, he holds his championship high overhead and, not taking his eyes off of his defeated challenger, he keeps shouting the same thing over and over: “Pas quand il importe... Jamais quand il importe!” Not when it matters… Never when it matters! As we: FADE OUT

Funyon - The next match is a no disqualification, no count-outs, falls count anywhere hardcore match, and it is scheduled for one-fall!! The crowd cheers. Funyon - Introducing first, weighing in at 228 pounds, hailing from Toronto, Ontario, JJ Johnson!! The lights dim, and a loud voice begins chanting BOOM!! Red and white pyros go off as Slaves Shall Serve grinds into gear. The fans cheer as JJ Johnson walks out through the smoke, not acknowledge them, but not jeering then either. He hops up on the ring apron and enters through the middle and top ropes. He climbs up the turnbuckle and makes a crucifix pose. Funyon - And his opponent, weighing in at one hundered and "none of your damn business" pounds, hailing from Helltown, Haverhill Massachusetts, Taiga Star!! Be a Man hits and the crowd cheers. A generic Princess of Hardcore graphic lights up the screen and Taiga Star comes out. She slaps hands of a few fans, then rolls in under the bottom rope, jumps to her feet, and poses for a moment with her hands stretched overhead. Referee Eddy Long calls for the bell. DING!!! The match starts with Taiga and JJ walking toward each other in the ring. Before they have a chance to lock up, Taiga throws a powerful left handed punch, clocking JJ straight in the jaw, sending him flying backwards to the mat. Mak Francis - Well, there's nothing like getting the match started with a bang. Taiga goes for the pin. ONE! TWO!! JJ kicks out. Suicide King - And she just tried to end it as quickly as possible. I think she just wants to get the match over with. Mak Francis - According to Taiga herself, she loves the hardcore style of wrestling. Suicide King - I think she's a scared little girl. Taiga actually gives JJ a chance to get up off the mat before wrenching in a side headlock. JJ throws her off into the ropes. She springs off and ducks a clothesline. Suicide King - She doesn't even have to duck the clothesline, she's so short that she can run right under it! Taiga bounces off the opposite side and ducks another clothesline. On the third pass she slams into JJ with a cross body, sending him down. He throws her off and kip-ups to his feet. Both competitors stare each other down, silently daring each other to make another move. JJ offers up a collar and elbow tie-up. Taiga snakes around into a hammerlock. Taiga pushes JJ into the corner front first. Mak Francis - Taiga utilized her low center of gravity to push the larger competitor into the corner... Suicide King - Low center of gravity? She's a midget! JJ demands that the referee to count the rope break. Eddy Long reminds JJ that this is a hardcore match. JJ grunts and fights Taiga off his back. Taiga retaliates by landing a stiff chop right between the shoulder blades. WHACK!! WOOOOOO! Mak Francis - That's one of the hardest chops I've seen in a while. Suicide King - This woman is scary. JJ whithers in pain, dropping to the mat. Taiga grabs him by the hair to stand him up, then attempts to whip him across the ring. JJ reverses midway, sending Taiga into the corner instead. JJ advances on her but she ducks and rolls out under between his legs! Suicide King - I bet you're going to say something about Taiga Star using her "low center of gravity" again, huh Mak? JJ looks across the ring in exasperation and charges Taiga again; and again Taiga rolls out of the way. JJ, getting sick of this business, grabs her by the hair and manages to get her in a front headlock. Taiga counters this into a small package. ONE! TWO!! JJ rolls Taiga into a small package of his own. ONE! TWO!! Taiga kicks out, stands up, and rolls JJ into another pin, folding him in half and laying across his legs. ONE! TWO!! TH.... JJ kicks out. JJ stands up and stomps his feet in frustration. He pulls ref aside and complains of Taiga pulling his beard. Referee Long again reminds JJ that he's in a hardcore match, and even if she did, he couldn't do anything about it. While he is arguing with the ref, Taiga goes down low... not there, you sickos, even lower... and takes out JJ's knees, making him collapse face first into the bottom turnbuckle. Taiga clamps her hands around his head to steady him for a stiff kick to the face. Again. And again! Mak Francis - Those are some brutal kicks. Taiga runs off the opposite ropes and nails a dropkick to the side of his head. JJ rolls around a bit groaning. Taiga runs towards him again, this time she uses a baseball slide to kick him out of the ring! JJ lands on his back and doesn't move. Taiga follows him out the ring by rolling under the bottom rope. She lifts the apron and rummages around under the ring a bit and pulls out a steel folding chair! She stalks JJ as he gets up to his knees and crawls along a bit. He looks over his shoulder to see Taiga hovering over him with the chair and he quickens his pace, scurrying out of the way. Taiga swings for the first chair shot, and it doesn't land very well. Suicide King - I knew that a girl can't swing a chair. Mak Francis - Come on King, JJ Johnson was crawling at full force there! Taiga swings the chair again, and again lands the shot halfway. JJ stumbles to his feet, using the barricade to assist himself up. Taiga raises the chair high, and with a howl, she swings it full force at his head. JJ ducks out of the way just in time, and she catches nothing but barricade. The chair ricochets and she drops it, shaking the feeling back into her hands. JJ takes advantage by swiftly grabbing the chair and going for a chairshot of his own. He connects much better than Taiga did, nailing her square in the forehead. The chair dents. The crowd gasps. Taiga remains standing however, swinging her arms out to keep balance. Mak Francis - I have no idea how Taiga Star is still standing after that chair shot! Suicide King - It's because she doesn't have a brain. She obviously doesn't know how to land a chair shot. JJ lands another shot, doing further damage to the chair and Taiga's head. A trickle of blood starts running down her forehead. JJ throws the chair aside. He picks her up by the hair and kicks her hard in the head, aggravating the wound on her head. Pulling her arm, he pulls her along and flings into the barricade on the other side of the ring! The barricade shifts. The crowd in that section stands up and cheers. JJ stands proud, drinking it all in. Before Taiga has a chance to move, he picks her up again, then flings her into the next barricade! Again she lands hard, and the crowd over there loves it. JJ signals to to the next corner. The crowd over there cheers! JJ begins to throw her, but halfway through he rolls Taiga back into the ring. The fans on that side aren't very happy about that. BOOOOOOOOO!!! Suicide King - I don't know why these fans are booing, JJ made a smart move there by getting Taiga back into the ring, where he can go to work on her in a more technical style. JJ drops several elbows onto Taiga, connecting each time with full force. Taiga crumples under the onslaught, gasping for breath. JJ with a leg-drop on Taiga. He hooks a leg. ONE!! TWO!! Taiga kicks out. JJ randomly kicks Taiga in the head a few more times, more insulting mockery than forceful. He then turns Taiga over and locks Taiga in a half crab! Taiga tries to wiggle out of it but JJ locks it in tighter. The ref asks Taiga if she wants to give it up, she replies by cussing at him. Taiga claws the mat in frustration and cries out in pain. Several long moments pass while Taiga flails about in agony. Then suddenly, she goes limp. Mak Francis - What the... Taiga Star might be out here. She's not moving at all... Suicide King - Maybe she's just realizing she got out-wrestled by the wrestler in this one. Taiga taps the mat, one slap and her arm goes dead again. A few seconds pass and she slaps the mat again, this time harder. The crowd gets behind her a little, some clapping along to the sluggish rhythm. JJ looks around angrily and yells at the ref, telling him that Taiga is tapping out and he needs to call the match. Suddenly Taiga rolls into a little ball, trapping JJ in a tight pinning predicament!! ONE!! TWO!! THR... NO!! JJ kicks out!! Mak Francis - That was a nice bit of wrestling that Taiga used there, wouldn't you say, King? JJ and Taiga both get to their feet. JJ charges at Taiga. She ducks, pulling the top rope down with her. JJ goes flying out under his own momentum, landing on the floor at a bad angle. Taiga follows him out of the ring. She grabs JJ by the legs and starts swinging him around in a giant swing. she goes around... and around... and around... Mak Francis - Round and round she goes, where she stops... Suicide King - Can it, Mak. Those cliches are a dime a dozen, and should be avoided like the plague. and around... Mak Francis - She's making herself dizzy. She's making ME dizzy! and around... Taiga finally stops the swing by throwing him head first into the barricade with a loud THUD!! The people in the front row have to move because the impact causes the barricade to bend in at an angle. Both JJ and Taiga are down!! Neither wrestler moves. The crowd cheers and some guys start an SWF chant. Taiga begins to stir first. Mak Francis - Traditional count-outs don't apply to hardcore matches. Suicide King - Really? That's fascinating. With JJ is still down, Taiga stumbles back toward the ring, where she holds herself up a few more moments to catch her breath. The crowd starts clapping along slowly for encouragement. Taiga looks under the ring and finds two more chairs. She tosses them into the ring and slowly begins setting them up. Mak Francis - I wonder what Taiga has in mind here. JJ is barely stirring and blood is pouring out of the top of his head. After a few long moments and great difficulty, he manages to pull himself up. He lays on the barricade for support, leaning over and bleeding on the front row. One snobby looking lady is disgusted when his blood drips into her popcorn, and she stands with an offended look and throws the popcorn at JJ. This gets him riled up and he goes to smack that bitch up... but security gets between them. Mak Francis - JJ Johnson needs to watch his temper here. Suicide King - Did you see what happened? That trashy looking broad threw her popcorn at him. What kind of person throws popcorn at an injured man? During the commotion, Taiga sets up the chairs in the ring, facing seat to seat. She climbs between the bottom and middle ropes, then stands outside on the apron before dropping an axehandle down across JJ's back! He buckles over. Taiga grabs him and rolls him into the ring, where she attempts to brainbuster JJ through the chairs! Suicide King - What is this crazy woman trying to do here? Mak Francis - It looks like Taiga Star is trying to drop JJ Johnson head first through those steel chairs! Suicide King - Imagine that! JJ blocks the brainbuster attempt and tries to back suplex her back through the chairs... but this was blocked by Taiga, who reversed into a belly to back suplex... until that was reversed into an unprettier, where JJ finally manages to drive Taiga through the chairs face first!! The crowd pops!! Taiga goes into convulsions as blood pours from her head. Suicide King - It looks like all she managed to do is get her own face busted into those chairs. Mak Francis - She put up one hell of a struggle though. Here's JJ with the pin! ONE! Suicide King - She's done. TWO!! TWO and a half.... TAIGA KICKS OUT! Mak Francis - How did she kick out of that? Look at her face, blood is just running out. She must have some gas left in the tank to be able to kick out of a move like that. Wrestlers like Taiga, they may be smaller, but what they lack in size, they make up for it in heart... Suicide King - Taiga just got lucky that JJ didn't hook a leg. JJ props himself up in a corner to catch his breath. Taiga struggles to get on her feet, then she props herself up on the rope. Both competitors exchange dirty looks. Taiga stumbles out and grabs one of the chairs. She folds it back up (as folded as it can get, with the dent in it and all) and surprises a lot of people when she hands it over to JJ Johnson! Suicide King - Is she crazy, just giving her opponent a chair like that? Taiga picks up the other chair and folds it as well. She tells JJ to hit her with the chair. JJ looks at Taiga and laughs. Suicide King - She's definitely crazy. What kind of strategy is this? Taiga tells him to hit her with the chair again. JJ looks at her like she has twelve heads, but shrugs and swings the chair over her head with a loud thud. Taiga wabbles a little, regains her posture, and smiles. Then she hits JJ over the head, giving him a much harder chair shot than what she got. Suicide King - Taiga is a scary woman. JJ wabbles, falls over forward but gets his hand to the mat. He complained about the pain and Taiga replied by telling him to hit her with the chair again. JJ takes a deep breath, swings his chair high, and it connects square in the middle of Taiga's skull!! Taiga wobbles a bit, as she was just hit with a chair pretty hard. She stands up and she laughs before swinging her chair at JJ's head. JJ stumbles back a bit before delivering a chair shot in return. They trade chair shots back and forth. DUELING CHAIRSHOTS!!! JJ is the first to fall to his knees. Taiga takes full advantage of this and assaults him with the chair BANG! BONG! THUD! until he falls to the mat... where she gives him a few more chair shots, just for good measure. Taiga drops the chair and looks down at JJ with a sickening sneer. Suicide King - Now that's just disturbing. Taiga looks up at the turnbuckle, then looks down at JJ again. Even though JJ looks to be a little too far, Taiga climbs the ropes anyway. She measures herself up then leaps from the corner, landing a DOUBLE STOMP in the middle of his chest!! JJ has the wind knocked out of him and he can barely move. Taiga hooks both the legs for the cover!! ONE!! TWO!! THREE!!! Referee Long calls for the bell!!! DING DING DING!!! Funyon - Your winner of the match, Taiga Star!!! Be a Man reprises and the referee goes to raise Taiga's hand. She manages to get her arm up, but cringes and holds her head. The ref then goes to check on JJ, who hasn't moved from the fetal position since that double stomp. Taiga looks down at him in amusement. She grabs his hand. The ref looks concerned about an attack, but Taiga merely shakes JJ's hand, then drops it limply at his side. Mak Francis - An impressive win here for the rookie Taiga Star. Suicide King - Losing to a girl isn't impressive, Mak, losing to a girl is embarrassing. As we go to commercial, the camera follows Taiga up the ramp as she shakes hands and jumps around happily for herself.

Okay, I've handed over the ending of the Lethal Rumble and it SHOULD be done by Monday night (famous last words!). I know I already cleared it with/mentioned it to Patty, but I suspected we'd need the extra time so I didn't short change anyone when I handed the ending over. So, can we say show up on Monday? In which case, Patty, I'll have the intro to you Monday morning and Syndicated up by then too but I need mad sleep right now. Mad I tell you!

(Okay, first one should go after the opener... which hopefully isn't Moneymaker's match or the Tag Title Match, otherwise this won't make so much sense.) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Back in the Lethal Rumble drawing room, OAOAST President AngleSault is standing by, clipboard in hand with Maggie Nerdly at the tumbler. Maggie absent-mindedly juggles with a couple of the numbers to AS's bemusement. ANGLESAULT Alright, lets get this show on the road before we lose any number, shall we? Bring the first guys in, could you? Off screen, the lowly security guard at the door does just that. First at the door, apparantly, are THE ENTERPRISE! All five male members, plus Molly Nerdly unpaid intern, walk in with Theodore at the front of the cue laughing away and rubbing his hands in excitement. AS begrudgingly shakes the out-stretched hand on Moneymaker, while Ned limbers CPA up for the gruelling task of picking a number. MONEYMAKER HAHAHA! Alright boss, let's get down to business. How much for #30, huh? HAHAHAHA! ANGLESAULT We've already got a number thirty... MONEYMAKER I know, I know. That was a little rich man humour... probably why you didn't get it! HAHAHA! No, I don't need to throw down any of my vast fortune, because tonight I've got all the insurance I need, right here. Moneymaker pats CPA on the back and the rest of The Enterprise begin to laugh, before suddenly splitting down the middle. The reason for this is the entrance into the room of the three members of... well, now, Cucaracha Internacional, with Landon Maddix and Megan Skye trailing along behind. Cucaracha Internacional and The Enterprise assemble in their groups, Landon and the still amused Moneymaker at the front. Faqu stares down Ned and Simon, who shrink into the background a little. MADDIX Teddy. MONEYMAKER Landon. I see you brought some moral support along as well. Any of these guys in the Rumble with you? I'm sorry I don't recognise any of them, I don't tend to watch Syndicated all that often. A chuckle goes up from The Enterprise, even the Blonds, despite their two straight weeks of competition on said show. Landon has a wry smile too. MADDIX Ah, Teddy, Teddy. No, as a matter of fact, they're not. But that's okay, because it keeps things simple. Civility, you know? I mean, I wouldn't want any of these three guys to think they HAD to step aside and let their boss win, incase he decides not to loan back their testicles again in the future. (looks up at CPA) How's it goin', big fella? CPA makes a move towards Landon, but Moneymaker holds him back. MONEYMAKER Easy, easy. There'll be plenty of time for that. Ya see Landon, I admire the fact you're looking to create your own little 'dynasty' here in the OAOAST. But tonight we'll see how you fair against The Enterprise, after all it'll be every man for himself out there. Maybe we'll see you along the way. MADDIX If you make it past Krista. MONEYMAKER Ah, yes, Krista. Blonde. Petite. Smart mouth. Remind you of anyone, Landon? That shuts Landon up, Megan having to whisper to James Blonde that Moneymaker wasn't referring to her... or him. ANGLESAULT Guys, I hate to break this touching moment up, but if we could move it along? MONEYMAKER Fine. MADDIX Some people, huh? MONEYMAKER I know. First Landon dips into the tumbler, followed closely by Moneymaker and finally big CPA. As Landon struggles with the plastic ball, Moneymaker pops open his, taking a look at his number... and, possibly tellingly, he says no more. Snatching hold of CPA's hand, Moneymaker gets a glance at his number as well... and still says nothing to Landon, who gives a shrug as he shows his number around to his newfound associates. MADDIX Not bad. Not that it matters of course, I mean... MONEYMAKER Come on. MADDIX Teddy? MONEYMAKER Guys, come on! Let's go! MOVE IT! Teddy shooes his Enterprise towards the door, to smirks all around from Black, Blonde and Megan. MADDIX Should I take that as a sign not to ask how you did? *SLAM!* With The Enterprise hurriedly down, the muttering and footsteps from behind the door disappearing, Landon grins to himself. COLE That didn't look like good news for Theodore Moneymaker. That might be the last of his worries right now though Coach, he might not even make it to use his number if Krista has her way tonight! ------------------------------ (Next one, preferrably after LSGS's match) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ We're now transported back to the drawing room, where Maggie and AngleSault are chatting away having watched that last footage on a monitor. The chat is interrupted however by the World Six Man Tag Team Champions, LOVE GENERATION, heading on into the room. Maggie obviously perks up at the sight of her boyfriend, Leon giving her a wink as he shakes AS's hand. LEON Nice tumble girl. Any more where she came from? ANGLESAULT Well now that you mention it... LEON Betcha can't name them all! Here's a tip, they usually start with an 'M'. Leon pats his D*LUX team-mates on the back. LEON Okay guys, now I know we're 6-Man Tag Team Champions together... for what that's worth... but tonight it's all on the line. Any one of us three could win the Lethal Rumble and go on to AngleMania. And by any one of us, I mean me. I think what I'm trying to say here is, all for one and one for all! SHAYNE Haha! Like the Three Musketeers! LEON Yes... thank you... that might not have been clear had you not clarified that. Jade and Maggie finish gossiping away in the background, as a sighing Leon taps the tumbler. Maggie quickly gets it spinning, Leon whispering under his breath to Jade "where did you find these idiots again" while Tyler and Shayne look on excitedly. With another tap Leon gets the tumbler stopped, picking his number and stepping aside. MAGGIE Hey, Jade, are you going to grab Shayne and Tyler's balls for them? That joke gets an audible groan from Leon, to his girlfriend's disappointment. Tyler and Shayne are infact left to grab their own balls (ANOTHER HILARIOUS PUN!) and as everyone gets a look at their numbers, it's mixed feelings for all. Before they can discuss who got what though, more bodies pile in, as Melody Nerdly leads in her World Tag Team Champion Gunslingers as the sole Christ Air Express rep in the Rumble, MARV. ANGLESAULT Ah, gentlemen, come on in. Melody, good to see you. MELODY What, I'm Madison, idiot! Nah, just playin'. Gets them everytime. So, yayz or nayz? The large group of extended friends and family that are Leon, D*LUX, Melody, Maggie, LSGS, CAE (1 of them!) and Jade get lost in one big discussion, leaving poor AngleSault looking on oblivious to what anyone's saying. Amongst all this MARV manages to pluck out his number, before Jock and Baron do the same. MELODY Hey guys, before you open them up, do you want me to squeeze your balls for good luck? Much to Maggie annoyance, Leon cracks up on hearing that joke. Jade gives her a consoling shrug as everyone passes their number on to AS just to make it official, Melody looking pretty pleased at the draw her guys got. ------------------------------------------ (And this one should go last of the three, before the World Title Match) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Over we go again to the Lethal Rumble drawing room, just in time infact as ZACK MALIBU is at the tumbler ready to draw his number. The tumbler stops while he and AngleSault are still reminiscing about good times, Zack not paying much attention as he picks his number. Taking a quick look, he raises an eyebrow a little in interest, before handing over to AS. ANGLESAULT So, what do you reckon? Two years in a row? ZACK Heh... could be man, could be. Taking nothing for granted, I mean there's plenty of capable guys going after that bullseye on my chest. But hey, I guess I should be used to that by now, right? ANGLESAULT No doubt. AS suddenly looks aside as into room walks BOHEMOTH, to a big reaction out in the arena. Not looking entirely surprised by this development, AngleSault stands looking on as Bo and Zack square up for a second before exchanging a friendly nod. And just a nod. ANGLESAULT Bo, glad you could make it. BOHEMOTH Don't mention it. So, how did you do? ZACK Ah well, that'd be telling now, wouldn't it big man. Let's not ruin the surprise. After all, it's every man for himself... I wouldn't want to HELP anybody else out, would I? BOHEMOTH Good point. Bo walks over to the tumbler and after a quick rotation by Maggie, Bo reaches in and grabs his number. But he doesn't so much as begin to try and open it, casually flipping the unopened ball to AngleSault, who just about catches it without fumbling. BOHEMOTH Besides, it's not like it matters anyway. Bo strolls off out of the room, none the wiser about his entrance number, Zack getting the message loud and clear and smiling to himself.

"SIX!" "FIVE!" "FOUR!" "THREE!" "TWO!" "ONE!" [i]*BBZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZTTT!*[/i] "What if I say I'm not like the others? What if I say I'm not just another one of your plays You're the pretender What if I say I will never surrender?" Fire burns around the entranceway as James Cone runs out, roared on by the fans. COLE James Cone, we saw him earlier on and now making his third Lethal Rumble appearance. Cone does come to Leon's rescue, as he pulls out Vitamin X and drops him with a right hand. A dropkick knocks Todd Cortez back down, before Cone detours off towards PRL and kicks him in the chest. Just as Cone looks to be cooking though, he gets a little too ahead of himself and runs into Bohemoth. COACH Less haste, more speed and definately opposite direction! Bohemoth gets a hold of Cone, but the fresh entrant is able to swat the arm away and fires off a couple of kicks. With the bigman not budging, Cone then tries another tactic and goes for the legs. A clubbing shot to the back from Bo fends Cone off though. Away into a corner walks Cone, followed in by Bohemoth who makes his own attempt to force an elimination. As this goes on in the one corner, Zack Malibu walks away into another corner... *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...and chops Tha Puerto Rican. COLE We've got ten men in, ten men still to come. And we're none the wiser about who's going to AngleMania to challenge Stephen Joseph Popick. Battles go on around the ring, as in the middle, Landon Maddix is up. Shaken, but up. Maddix soon has a smile on his face though as he sees Cortez getting up with his back to him. Sneaking up behind, Landon takes Cortez by the head and tosses him over... but NOT out! Little does Landon realise this, dusting his hands with satisfaction as he walks away. Reject is up and points out Cuban Wall, Landon nodding and moving in. But he takes a step back and catches out Reject, clubbing him with a cheapshot to the back of the head before picking him up over his shoulders. COACH Looking for the G2S! Maddix carries Reject in the fireman's carry, turning around and... ...taking a boot, from Todd Cortez, shock giving way to fear as Cortez pulls him into a standing headscissors and tumbles forward, SPIKING MADDIX INTO THE CANVAS WITH THE RIOT ACT PLUS~!!!! COACH OH NO! COLE Maddix is read the Riot Act again! With Landon out of it, Cortez picks him right back off the canvas AND PITCHES HIM OUT OVER THE TOP TO THE DELIGHT OF THE CROWD!!!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE HE'S OUT! Maddix is gone and I don't think he even knows it yet! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ LANDON MADDIX ENTERED: 10th LEFT: 11th TIME IN RING: 21:16 ELIMINATED: Jock Mulligan ELIMINATED BY: Todd Cortez LEFT IN RING: Tha Puerto Rican, Bohemoth, Vitamin X, Zack Malibu, Leon Rodez, Reject, Cuban Wall, Todd Cortez, James Cone ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The referees signal that the motionless Maddix is indeed out, before setting about trying to wake him up. COLE And it was the Riot Act Plus, yet again, which did Maddix in. I've lost count of how many times since Cortez left Landon's side that we've seen him spike him with that Riot Act, it's got to be into double figures by now. COACH That move should be outlawed! COLE Why, because Landon still doesn't have a counter for it? COACH That's one of many reasons Michael Cole! Cortez smirks at Landon before turning around, to be met by Reject and a boot. Hooking Cortez's head and leg, Reject then lifts for a Fisherman's Bust... NO! Cortez rolls through, into a small package. Realising full-well there's no pins, Cortez rolls right through on it, hanging onto the head and bringing Reject up, into a traditional Brainbuster! COLE Oh and he spiked him! Climbing up, Cortez targets the biggest man in the match, Cuban Wall. It's Cortez and Rodez on Wall in one corner, Zack and PRL in another and now Vitamin X and James Cone double-teaming Bohemoth, as we are under ten seconds until another entrant... "EIGHT!" "SEVEN!" "SIX!" "FIVE!" "FOUR!" "THREE!" "TWO!" "ONE!" [i]*BBZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZTTT!*[/i] "Where I'm From" by C-Murder hits and out walks Reggie Lamont. COLE Number twenty one, Reggie Lamont looking to make a name for himself on the big stage. COACH It's going to be trouble in paradise now. COLE *groan* Reggie hits the ring and immediately heads to the corner occupied by Zack and Tha Puerto Rican. The Jamaican pulls Zack away and just throws him to the side, before grabbing PRL and lifting him up across the top turnbuckle! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COACH Look at this! Reggie's going for the money, he's going for the bounty straight away! The fans shout encouragement for PRL as Reggie powers forward trying to push him over the top. PRL is in trouble as Reggie unhooks the leg from underneath the top rope, tipping PRL over so that he's looking down at the arena floor below! Despairingly Tha Puerto Rican gets his hands on the ring apron to try and push himself back in, against the force of the 260 pounds Lamont. COACH Reggie Lamont is seconds away from becoming a millionaire right here! COLE I think somebody's got other ideas. Walking back over, Zack Malibu shows how much he appreciated Reggie's handling of him by pulling him off of PRL and cracking him with an elbow. The crowd breathe a sigh of relief as PRL safely navigates his way over the top and onto the apron, then back into the ring. Zack cracks Reggie with a couple more elbows, before hitting the ropes. Reggie ducks the clothesline though, setting and connecting with a thrust kick up under the jaw of The Franchise! COLE Woah! Nice kick from Reggie! As the big man now of Laguna Beach steps out though, he fails to DODGE THIS (BITCH) and eats a Gamengiri from PRL!! "YYEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" COLE That wasn't half bad either. On the outside, a distraught Landon is 'escorted' backstage as the action continues without him. Cuban Wall is now at the mercy of three men now, as James Cone has walked over to join Cortez and Leon. Seeing the numbers are with them, Leon directs traffic and motions for them to get Wall out. Cortez and Cone each take a leg and lift, while Leon tries to get underneath the Muscle of the SJPC. Oblivious to his partner's plight, Vitamin X backs up and dropkicks Bohemoth against the bottom turnbuckle. PRL sees Wall in trouble though and decides to go help, despite the urge to rest, his help getting Wall going as the crowd roar. COLE Finally, we've got a group of people coming together and realising what it's going to take to eliminate Cuban Wall. Four men now, Wall is in trouble! Wall hangs on, in an awkward position with his back to the ropes. But where as he can't get a grip on the ropes, he can see who he's fighting. Finding a good spot, Wall reaches out, throwing a soupbone right hand that catches Cortez. A big right then knocks down Cone. Leon and PRL's combined efforts can't keep Wall elevated and his feet hit the mat, quickly landing a right hand on PRL before knocking Leon clean off his feet with an uppercut. COLE Cuban Wall just fought off four men. And not just any four men, four of the OAOAST's finest. COACH That's what those big right hands can do. COLE And we're about to get entrant number 22. "TEN!" "NINE!" "EIGHT!" "SEVEN!" "SIX!" "FIVE!" "FOUR!" "THREE!" "TWO!" "ONE!" [i]*BBZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZTTT!*[/i] "Magnum Opus" hits, to a loud and slightly mixed reaction as ALFDOGG heads out to the ring. COLE Speaking of the OAOAST's finest. Alfdogg, one of only two men to have competed in every Lethal Rumble Match. And he's going right after the other man, Zack Malibu! Alf swings away with right hands on Zack as he hits the ring. The two battle it out until Cuban Wall walks over and grabs them BOTH by the throat for a Double Chokeslam. Alf and Zack both connect with kicks to the knees of Wall to free themselves, before taking him into the ropes with a double whip. A double elbow from the OAOAST Originals puts Wall on the backfoot but not down. So Alf says "nuts to this" and abandons Zack to go after Reggie Lamont! Surprised for a second, Malibu narrowly avoids a clothesline from Wall... *SMACK!* ...and fells the giant with SCHOOL'S OUT!!! "YYYEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" As Wall topples, Leon Rodez starts to get to his feet. Zack doesn't play any favourites and sets for School's Out to his friend too. However Reject comes over and clotheslines Zack down. Reject is in turn clotheslined down by Todd Cortez. Cortez then turns around into a jab! A jab! A jab! A jab! Rodez turns, blowing the kiss... *SMACK!* ...AND GETTING CRACKED WITH THE PHEONIX KICK BY JAMES CONE!!!! "OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH That Guy Who Used To Be Spider Poet Said Knock You Out! Going after Cone, Cortez misses his man as Cone crawls under his grasp. The Lunar Pheonix turns around into a Crotch Droppah though. Cortez then comes off the ropes, building up a head of steam and charging back at Cone... who dives forward and clips out The Urban Legend's knee as he rushes towards him. Flipped through the air, Cortez lands with a thud, while Cone suddenly comes face to face with a face from his past, one Zack Malibu. COLE How about this for a face-off? COACH How long has it been? Four, five years? COLE It's been a while that's for sure. Alf has Reggie elevated in the background, as words exchange between Zack and Cone. Then Zack hits a forearm, Cone retaliating. Forearm by Zack. Forearm by Cone. The two OAOAST vets trading blows in the middle of the ring, until the shots catch up to Malibu. Cone lands three more forearms before coming off the ropes, firing into The Franchise with a shoulder tackle. Back a few steps goes Zack, a few steps closer to the ropes which is what concerns The Lunar Pheonix. Another shoulder block knocks Zack back again, this time pinning him against the ropes. Cone then runs in again and charges Zack a third time... but Zack ducks his head, backdropping Cone... who lands on his feet on the apron! COLE He's still in, Cone showing he's still got some of that agility. Spinning Malibu around, Cone lands a forearm from the apron. A second then stuns Zack and sets him up for Cone to apply a front facelock, reaching over the top rope and setting him for a suplex. Zack hooks his foot around the bottom rope though and blocks the elimination attempt! Cone lifts again, again blocked by Zack! Unhooking his foot, Zack then lifts... but Cone blocks and lifts up Zack... who gets turned completely upside down, to screams from the crowd, before he manages to kick his feet and land back in the ring! COLE Zack, hanging on by the skin of his teeth! Losing the facelock Cone drops Zack, who lands in front of him but tastes another elbow. Grabbing onto the top rope, Cone then jumps up... ...but gets dropkicked in mid-air, propelling him backwards to the arena floor, hard! COLE And there goes The Lunar Pheonix... As Cone hits the floor, Bohemoth suddenly sneaks up behind Zack and throws him out... ...NO! Zack barely hangs onto the top rope and skins the cat back inside!! COLE Zack almost followed him too. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ JAMES CONE ENTERED: 20th LEFT: 12th TIME IN RING: 5:47 ELIMINATED: None ELIMINATED BY: Zack Malibu LEFT IN RING: Tha Puerto Rican, Bohemoth, Vitamin X, Zack Malibu, Leon Rodez, Reject, Cuban Wall, Todd Cortez, Reggie Lamont, Alfdogg ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Almost but not quite. It was too close for Zack's liking though and when he sees just who it was who tipped him, Zack charges at Bo and SPEARS him to the canvas! Bo is more stunned at being taken down than hurt and certainly stunned as Zack starts throwing right hands, but not stunned enough to hold back from throwing rights of his own!! COLE It is breaking down! Zack and Bo are going at it again... COACH And it doesn't look quite the same as earlier. There's real venom behind those punches, Cole. I think any and all 'respect' has flown out of the window, this is personal now! "TEN!" "NINE!" "EIGHT!" "SEVEN!" "SIX!" "FIVE!" "FOUR!" "THREE!" "TWO!" "ONE!" [i]*BBZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZTTT!*[/i] "Master Blaster (Jammin')" starts up as out runs another Rumble debutant, Denzel Spencer! COLE No prizes for guessing who he's going to be going after, either. Sure enough, Denzel slides in just as Vitamin X jumps Alfdogg. Denzel dodges past the brawling Bo and Zack and goes right after Reggie Lamont, popping him with a succession of right hands in the corner. Behind him meanwhile, Bohemoth has Zack over his shoulder and looks to dump him out... ...but Zack hangs onto the top rope and Bohemoth... ALSO hangs on, both men narrowly avoiding falling to the floor! COLE That was a close one! Back in the corner, Reggie starts to fight back on Denzel and backs him out in the centre of the ring with right hands. Booting Denzel in the guy, Reggie then finds some space and bounces off the ropes with the Scissors Ki... NO! Denzel pulls his head out of the way and Reggie jams (LOLZ) his spine into the canvas. Holding his BUTT, Reggie climbs back up and Denzel charges him, sending him up and out of the Lethal Rumble with one big clothesline!! COLE Sweet revenge for Denzel Spencer, eliminating his former partner from the Rumble, just as Lamont had done to him back at New Year's Spectacular in the battle royal! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ REGGIE LAMONT ENTERED: 21st LEFT: 13th TIME IN RING: 4:22 ELIMINATED: None ELIMINATED BY: Denzel Spencer LEFT IN RING: Tha Puerto Rican, Bohemoth, Vitamin X, Zack Malibu, Leon Rodez, Reject, Cuban Wall, Todd Cortez, Alfdogg, Denzel Spencer ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ As this is going on, Reject runs over and wipes out Alfdogg. Reject then catches Denzel turning around, attempting an irish whip but finding himself reversed. As Reject rebounds, up goes Denzel for a Hurricanrana... and DOWN he comes, into a Sitout Powerbomb! "OOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Reject gets wiped out in his own right a second later though, as Alfdogg runs over and boots him in the face! After a few choice words to Reject, Alf then goes back after Vitamin X. Cortez works over Cuban Wall with kicks across the ring. Leon and PRL meanwhile take their time recovering, as Bohemoth and Zack continue to do battle in the middle of the pack. COLE It's over thirty minutes for Zack, over thirty for Bohemoth, over fourty minutes for PRL! In one corner Cortez tries to get Wall over the top, with little success. Catching Zack with a good right meanwhile, Bohemoth cups him by the head and runs him across the ring... ...NO! Zack puts on the brakes. A spinkick to the gut doubles Bohemoth over, allowing Zack to run Bohemoth back to the other side... ...NO!! Bohemoth puts on the brakes. Scooping up Zack, Bohemoth goes for a Spinebuster, but finds himself trapped in a front guillotine choke and unable to drop The Franchise. Zack wraps the body-scissors on and tries to choke Bo out, the two bypassed by Alfdogg who targets PRL in the corner and tries to dump him out to collect himself a cool million! COACH Yes, if anyone's gonna collect the bounty, it's gotta be Alf! He did it before and he's going to do it again. Let's face it, the bounty Stephen Joseph put up shits all over the 100,000 Alf picked up two years ago. COLE And if Alf does eliminate PRL, it certainly won't be for Popick's benefit. PRL hangs on, as Bohemoth begins to fade in the middle of the ring. Realising he's going out, Bohemoth makes a charge forward and runs Zack into the one neutral corner in the ring sending his lower back hard into the top turnbuckle. Zack refuses to relinquish the front chancre though. Bohemoth staggers away, already feeling the effects of entering at number 5, even without this chokehold. He turns and runs forward again, this time into a NON neutral corner. Vitamin X gets sandwiched in the corner and goes down, but Zack still hangs onto the choke and Bohemoth is fading fast. "BO!" "BO!" "BO!" "BO!" Just as he starts to sink forward though, Bohemoth gets a surge of energy and with a low roar he muscles Zack back up before charging again... ...dumping Zack over the ropes!! Zack realises he's in trouble and hangs on for grim life, bringing Bohemoth over with him by the neck... COACH Look out! ...AND THEY [b]BOTH[/b] CRASH TO THE ARENA FLOOR!!!!! COLE I don't believe it... they're BOTH gone! Zack and Bohemoth are OUT! A loud groan goes up through the Philips Arena, two of the favourites both in chances and crowd support eliminated in one split second. Hitting the floor with a thud, the two untangle themselves and pull themselves back up as referees come across to point them to the back. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE The friendly rivalry between Zack Malibu and Bohemoth, I have to say, might just have come back to bite them both in the ass here tonight at AnglePalooza. Neither of them will be going to AngleMania to challenge for the World Heavyweight Championship! Unbelievable! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ BOHEMOTH ENTERED: 5th LEFT: 14th TIME IN RING: 37:43 ELIMINATED: Brock Ausstin, Tyler Bryant, Biff Atlas, Zack Malibu ELIMINATED BY: Zack Malibu ZACK MALIBU ENTERED: 8th LEFT: 15th TIME IN RING: 31:43 ELIMINATED: Theodore Moneymaker, CPA, James Cone, Bohemoth ELIMINATED BY: Bohemoth LEFT IN RING: Tha Puerto Rican, Vitamin X, Leon Rodez, Reject, Cuban Wall, Todd Cortez, Alfdogg, Denzel Spencer ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Running a hand over his head, Zack curses to himself. Bohemoth hides his emotions slightly worse, slamming his hands into the ring apron in frustration. He then turns to Zack. The two lock eyes and tension boils over as Bo shoves Zack in the chest and The Franchise responds by PIEFACING The Meterosexual Monster!!! "OOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" And before you know it, Bo and Zack have launched at each other with wild punches and referees are piling over to try and seperate the frustrated fan favourites!! COLE Uh-oh. Tempers have spilt over... Bohemoth and Zack obviously unhappy at being eliminated and they're taking it out on each other. COACH What did I tell you Michael? Sooner or later, somebody's ego was going to get dented and this supposed 'friendly' rivalry was going to turn ugly. And sure enough, it's happened here tonight. There aren't any friends in the hunt for the World Title. Zack and Bo brawl down the aisle with a stream of officials back out from the back again to try and pull them apart. The usually well-tempered pair have lost it in the heat of the moment though, Bo pushes through officials to get his punches in, Zack refusing to be held back even by former tag team partner turned road agent Tony Brannigan. "THREE!" "TWO!" "ONE!" [i]*BBZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZTTT!*[/i] In the heat of this the countdown almost goes forgotten, until "No Chance In Hell" powers out and The Bone Thug walks out. Bone Thug makes sure to keep his distance from Zack and Bo as he passes them in the aisle. COLE It might take all the people we've got in the back to seperate Zack and Bo. COACH Good job we've got about 80 guys on the roster. COLE Speaking of which, here comes The Bone Thug for the Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation. As Bone Thug slides in, we see Zack and Bohemoth disappear through the curtains amongst the sea of officials, still throwing wild shots at each other. COLE Well that has thrown us for a loop. And it's thrown this Lethal Rumble wide open. You've got Alfdogg the 2006 winner. PRL, in from number one, still fighting. COACH Three Corporation members... and two still to come! COLE Reject. In 2006, he lasted over 50 minutes, he's got Lethal Rumble credentials that's for sure. Alfdogg is attacked from behind by Reject, as Bone Thug piles into the same corner going after PRL. Denzel and Vitamin X are hurting meanwhile. In the other corner, unlikely allies Leon Rodez and Todd Cortez are struggling to contend with Cuban Wall. In the end, Cortez gives up and instead grabs Rodez, kicking him in the gut and pulling him away into the centre of the ring. Cortez pulls Leon down into a standing headscissors and looks for the Riot Act Plus... but gets tripped! Leon then hooks up the legs and falls back, catapulting Cortez in the corner and a BIG foot to the face from The Cuban Wall. "OOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Backing out of the corner to the right, Reject is spun around by Leon. Reject catches a boot though, stepping over and cracking Rodez with a Spinning Heel Kick! COLE Reject with those educated feet. COACH Oh yeah? What did they get? COLE A couple of Advanced Degree-boks. COACH Boo-urns. As Reject gets back up, Cuban Wall then goes charging past, clotheslining Todd Cortez up and out! COLE The boot put Cortez in trouble and it was a matter of time from there. The Urban Legend is gone. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ TODD CORTEZ ENTERED: 19th LEFT: 16th TIME IN RING: 10:40 ELIMINATED: Landon Maddix ELIMINATED BY: Cuban Wall LEFT IN RING: Tha Puerto Rican, Vitamin X, Leon Rodez, Reject, Cuban Wall, Alfdogg, Denzel Spencer, The Bone Thug ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Wall heads off to help Bone Thug, who is tasting some right hands from his cousin PRL in the corner. Reject attentions are on Alfdogg meanwhile, set and waiting for him to come his way. Looking a little dis-orientated, Alf walks around the ring and drifts towards Reject, who leaps into the air and hooks Alf for the EULOG... ...NO, Alf pushes Reject off. Reject manages to sort his (educated) feet out though and keeps on running, catching Denzel Spencer getting up up under the jaw with a Spinning Wheel Kick, sending him head over heels and to the floor as well! COLE Just like that, there goes another! COACH Quick thinking from Reject. His feet aren't the only educated bodypart, I guess. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ DENZEL SPENCER ENTERED: 23rd LEFT: 17th TIME IN RING: 3:01 ELIMINATED: Reggie Lamont ELIMINATED BY: Reject LEFT IN RING: Tha Puerto Rican, Vitamin X, Leon Rodez, Reject, Cuban Wall, Alfdogg, The Bone Thug ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ As Reject turns away from the elimination though, he walks into a waistlock from Alf, throwing the former International Champion with an Overhead Belly To Belly! COLE Seven men remain, six left to enter in this year's Lethal Rumble. Cuban Wall and Bone Thug double-team PRL in the corner as Alf gets to his feet. The fans encourage him to help out their "People's Champion" and although the very thought of doing something to please the fans amuses him, Alf has no-one else on their feet to go after. So he walks over, grabs Wall and Bone Thug by the heads and executes the always popular DOUBLE NOGGIN KNOCKER~! Bone Thug loses the hardest head competition and goes down, Wall just staggering away. Leaving them behind, Alfdogg then proves to be his own man as he grabs hold of PRL's legs and starts to lift him up and over the top!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" COACH Here we go! Bye bye PR! COLE This could be it, is Tha Puerto Rican going to lose his ticket to AngleMania!? COACH Oh, I'm sure he'll make it to AngleMania. We've got to fill out the undercard somehow, right? HAHAHA! Hanging on desperately, PRL finds himself hung over the top turnbuckle and tipping back towards elimination. The three Corporate members are certainly in no rush to help him. And Alf is pushing with all he's got. First to move from the rest of the pack though is Reject. And he goes right for Alf, pulling him off of PRL... ...and grabbing PRL for himself!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" COACH No, it's gonna be Reject! He's gonna get the bounty, I told you so! Alf comes right back and pulls Reject off of PRL, leading to an exchange of right hands between the former partners and apparantly still enemies. Before Tha Puerto Rican can breath any easier however, LEON RODEZ walks over and bundles him back across the turnbuckle looking for the elimination! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" COACH Yes! Leon, he's going to be a millionaire! Come on Leon! "TEN!" "NINE!" "EIGHT!" "SEVEN!" "SIX!" "FIVE!" "FOUR!" As the clock ticks down, PRL starts to fight back and gets some shots in to the head of Rodez. Eventually a right hand frees him and he shoves Leon aside, before rushing at Vitamin X and clotheslining him out of his sneakers! "THREE!" "TWO!" "ONE!" [i]*BBZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZTTT!*[/i] "Fuel" by Metallica hits. It takes the crowd a while to figure out why, until John "Rock Hard" Brickston emerges through the curtains and heads to the ring. COACH Who's this guy? COLE Who's this guy!? Coach, that's John Brickston. COACH :huh: COLE Former member of The Lightning Crew. COACH :huh: COLE Does the Anklelock. Wrestles a lot like Ken Shamrock. COACH .....OOOOHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! Of course. Brickston hits the ring just as Cuban Wall and Bone Thug are making their move. Grabbing a hold of Bone Thug, Brickston spins him around and drops him with a right hand. Cuban Wall is just about to grab onto PRL before Brickston does the same to him, only without dropping the big guy. Wall ends up staggering away as Brickston lands a second right hand, before PRL turns around and comes face to face with his former protége. "P - R - L!" "P - R - L!" "P - R - L!" "P - R - L!" Barely able to stand straight after over 45 minutes of competition, PRL still has the energy to tell Brickston to 'bring it'. Which could be a mistake, as Brickston boots PRL and goes for the Killswitch... NO! PRL escapes, ducking his head and going for the LATIN SLA... NO! Brickston lands a couple of elbows, before tripping PRL up and applying the ANKLELOCK!! COLE Anklelock by Brickston on PRL! Vitamin X pulls himself up and goes to nail Brickston... but thinks twice and lets PRL suffer some more. COLE Tremendous pain on the face of Tha Puerto Rican. COACH But he's not going to be eliminated like this. You're not going to win a million dollars with an anklelock, you putz! Throw him out! As PRL starts to shout out in pain, Brickston drops the Anklelock, at which point Vitamin X tackles him to the ground. They exchange shots, while Cuban Wall tries to come over and help out. But he gets intercepted, by Leon Rodez and a jab! A jab! A jab! A jab! Rodez turns, blowing the kiss, before turning back on his heels... *SMACK!* ...and nailing Wall in the back of the head with the enziguri! COLE MAMA SAID KNOCK YOU OUT! Wall falls backwards as Bone Thug tries to rush Leon. A sidestep and a drop toehold puts Bone Thug throat first across the middle rope though. Jumping to his feet, Rodez then does a weird sort of jig before hitting the ropes, shooting back and driving his weight into the spine of Bone Thug! COLE And Call That Bitch Bojangles! Leon Rodez is cutting through the Corporation. *SMACK!* COACH But he just got cut DOWN right there! A Superkick from Alfdogg knocks Rodez down... but Alf regrets turning his back on Reject, as he gets dropped with the EULOGY~!!!! "TEN!" "NINE!" "EIGHT!" "SEVEN!" "SIX!" "FIVE!" "FOUR!" COLE This will be entrant number 26! "THREE!" "TWO!" "ONE!" [i]*BBZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZTTT!*[/i] "Makes Me Wonder" sounds out again, for the second member of D*LUX, "Showtime" Shayne Brave! COLE What a draw for this youngster. And what a story if he were to make it to AngleMania VII! COACH Yeah, I don't see it. Reject catches the energetic Brave on his way in and clubs away, before picking him up and shooting him to the ropes. Around the world goes Shayne, but he finds his way safely out of the tilt a whirl and stuns Reject with an Enziguri! SHAYNE COME ON!!! "YYYEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHH!" COLE Oh yeah, Shayne Brave is fired up! Stepping out to the apron, Shayne quickly climbs the turnbuckles while the coast is clear. A groggy Reject staggers back up and glances up to see Shayne soaring towards him, connecting with a big Flying Clothesline that brings the crowd to their feet! Shayne pumps his fist in celebration before rushing over to Rodez, helping his 6-Man Tag Team partner back to his feet. Still shaken from the superkick, Leon kinda thanks Shayne, as he goes zipping off to stomp away on The Bone Thug. COLE We're getting down to the business end of things here Coach and would you look at that, Tha Puerto Rican, still there. COACH I know. Poor Popick must be getting a little frustrated watching this. In the corner, Vitamin X manages to get a thumb in the eye on John Brickston. He then grabs him by the head and throws him over the top, but Brickston holds on and slides back in. COACH I mean seriously, why is nobody going after PRL!? Come on! Leon and Shayne set up Bone Thug for a double team. An inverted atomic drop jars the Corporate member, held in place as Leon comes off the ropes to complete the D*LUX Opposites Attract double-team with what is usually Tyler's Yakuza Kick! A high-five is exchanged by the Love Generation team-mates, before Cuban Wall suddenly stomps towards them. The quick thinking 6-Man Champs manage to duck the clotheslines thrown at them though, waiting for Wall to turn around and hitting him with a Double Dropkick! COLE Down goes the bigman! Another high-five is slapped off by Love Generation, before Shayne turns around and plays to the crowd again... ...and pays for it, as Leon grabs him AND FLIPS HIM OUT OVER THE TOP!!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" COACH The hell!? COLE Well, it is every man for himself. Shayne looks up stunned from the outside, as Leon just shrugs apologetically. Disappointed but still diplomatic, Shayne reaches up and high-fives Leon from the floor ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ SHAYNE BRAVE ENTERED: 26th LEFT: 18th TIME IN RING: 1:24 ELIMINATED: None ELIMINATED BY: Leon Rodez LEFT IN RING: Tha Puerto Rican, Vitamin X, Leon Rodez, Reject, Cuban Wall, Alfdogg, The Bone Thug, John Brickston ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Leon gets back in the mix and works over Wall with some forearms to the back, while Reject goes over and clubs away at Brickston and at Vitamin X across the ring. Limping to his feet, PRL hops across the ring and starts to try and pick up Alfdogg, which in his physical state doesn't seem to be happening. So he settles for a fistdrop to the back of Alf's head, before going after Bone Thug. "TEN!" "NINE!" "EIGHT!" "SEVEN!" "SIX!" "FIVE!" "FOUR!" "THREE!" "TWO!" "ONE!" [i]*BBZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZTTT!*[/i] Lucky number #27 is next, "God Of Thunder" pumping through the arena as THUNDERKID jogs out! COLE Wow, what a draw for Thunderkid. Here's a guy who could shock the world here at AnglePalooza! TK slides in and is met by former partner Reject! A right hand is shrugged off, Thunderkid landing three quick shots on Reject before mowing him down with a clothesline. COACH Thunderkid and Reject have had some battles in the Lethal Rumble in their time. And 2008 is no exception! As Reject staggers up, Thunderkid then gorilla presses him up over his head and slams him to the canvas which maybe isn't the wisest move in a Rumble but certainly puts the hurting on Reject. COLE And Thunderkid is coming in fresh, with a lot of power as exhibited right there. COACH And not a huge amount of brains, also exhibited right there. After knocking Leon down with a right hand, Cuban Wall walks out of the corner and goes after the fresh man. Thunderkid fends him off with right hands though before backing into the ropes. A Big Boot from Wall misses it's target, TK ducking underneath and coming off the far ropes with a Bicycle Kick, which takes Wall off his feet! Thunderkid then charges at PRL and clotheslines him, over the top... ...and to the APRON ONLY!! COACH OH! Oh, I thought he was gone! COLE PRL hooked that top rope and it's the only thing that saved him! Thunderkid is pulled away by Alfdogg, who connects with a Blue Thunder Bomb! Saying to hell with it, Alf then steps to the outside and heads up top, bringing the crowd to their feet. COLE Could it be Five Star time? NO it could not! As Alf slowly climbs the turnbuckles, Thunderkid is able to drag himself back up and charges at Alf, crotching him on the top turnbuckle!! "OOOOOOHHHHHHHHHH!!" As Alf groans in pain, Thunderkid then backs up a step and hooks Alf with a clothesline, taking him off the top AND SENDING HIM TUMBLING TO THE FLOOR!! COLE Another hot favourite is out of the running! And I'm sure Popick will be secretly relieved to see Alfdogg gone! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ALFDOGG ENTERED: 22nd LEFT: 19th TIME IN RING: 11:06 ELIMINATED: None ELIMINATED BY: Thunderkid LEFT IN RING: Tha Puerto Rican, Vitamin X, Leon Rodez, Reject, Cuban Wall, The Bone Thug, John Brickston, Thunderkid ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Thunderkid steps away and bumps into John Brickston, the two turning around as they back into each other and going face to face. COACH My God, it's like looking into a living mirror! Before they can go at it though, Reject rushes over and knocks them both down with a double clothesline! Grinning from ear to ear, Reject reaches down and picks up Brickston... uh, at least I think it's Brickston... throwing him into a corner and choking him with the flat of his boot. Across the ring meanwhile, Vitamin X has picked up PRL and lifts him up and over the top! "P - R!" "P - R!" "P - R!" "P - R!" PRL suddenly falls from the top, but he falls to the apron and grabs onto the bottom rope. Vitamin X starts stomping away but Tha Puerto Rican won't budge. Grabbing the top rope, X then pushes forward with his feet in an attempt to just push him off, Bone Thug walking over and joining in! Leon Rodez attacks X from behind though, allowing PRL to get back in while Bone Thug saves X from being chucked out by Leon. "TEN!" "NINE!" "EIGHT!" "SEVEN!" "SIX!" "FIVE!" COLE Well with #29 and #30 taken care of, there's only one person this could be. "FOUR!" "THREE!" "TWO!" COACH Haha... brilliant. Just brilliant. "ONE!" [i]*BBZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZTTT!*[/i] "No Chance In Hell" strikes up and boos ring out, as the Corporate Turncoat Spanish Fly runs to the ring! COACH What a performance from The Corporation! Four in, four yet to be eliminated and the bigman still to come at number thirty. COLE And PRL yet to be eliminated either. COACH Yeah well, let's not dwell on that, huh? Fly dives in and rushes right at Leon, who drops Bone Thug with a right hand just before Fly barges into him and catches him by surprise, ELIMINATING HIM FROM THE RUMBLE!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" COACH Oh, brilliant, BRILLIANT! COLE Two was okay, but Leon couldn't fight off three Corporation members. What a kicker for Leon. A great performance... COACH Yack yack yack yack. What about Spanish Fly? What STRENGTH from Spanish Fly! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ LEON RODEZ ENTERED: 13th LEFT: 20th TIME IN RING: 30:11 ELIMINATED: Shayne Brave ELIMINATED BY: Spanish Fly LEFT IN RING: Tha Puerto Rican, Vitamin X, Reject, Cuban Wall, The Bone Thug, John Brickston, Thunderkid, Spanish Fly ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Quickly, Spanish Fly gets Vitamin X and Bone Thug together, the three SJPC members rushing over to help member number four Cuban Wall fend off Thunderkid. Fly, X and Bone Thug all attack from behind, CLUBBERING TK down to his knees with forearms while Wall pulls himself out of the corner and smiles. COLE And now, like a pack of damn dogs, they group together. Saying "I've got this, I've got this", Vitamin X assumes control. The other three step aside as X lifts Thunderkid into a torture rack. Fly gives him a helping hand as X is pretty tired from being in there so long. But once he's got TK set, X has enough energy to spin him out and put the X-CLAMATION POINT on him!! Thunderkid rolls away hurt, while Reject turns around and suddenly sees the four Corporation members advancing towards him. COLE Oh boy. Reject is in a BAD spot here. COACH But he's not backing down. Faced with no alternative, Reject shoots forward and tries to fight his way out of trouble with rights and lefts flying. Pretty soon the four on one numbers get the better of him though and the Corporation stomp him into the canvas. Boos ring out as Reject is allowed back up by the foursome, Fly, Bone Thug and X all standing back as Cuban Wall reaches in and grabs Reject by the throat. The former International Champion then goes up... and DOWN with the Chokeslam, to the applause of the standers-by. COACH Maybe he should have just backed down. Picking Reject up off the canvas, Wall tosses him aside, sending the helpless Reject tumbling over the top and to the floor. COLE They're just going to pick them off one by one. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ REJECT ENTERED: 15th LEFT: 21st TIME IN RING: 27:10 ELIMINATED: Baron Windels, Denzel Spencer ELIMINATED BY: Cuban Wall LEFT IN RING: Tha Puerto Rican, Vitamin X, Cuban Wall, The Bone Thug, John Brickston, Thunderkid, Spanish Fly ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Sure enough, Brickston is next. The four close in on Brickston who's trapped in the corner, fists clenched. Spanish Fly laughs aloud as Bone Thug dares him to come fight just like Reject tried to do... PRL HEY, FUCKWADS!! Turning around in unison (which gets a cheap laugh), Wall, X, Fly and Bone Thug all look surprised as PRL stands in the centre of the ring AND FLIPS THEM ALL OFF!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH Oh, I get it! PRL is finally tired of living! And who can blame him really? All four SJPC members look at each other and need no more convincing to go after PRL. But suddenly, Brickston bundles into the back of them and the odds become a much more favourable 4 on 2 rather than 4 on 1, PRL throwing left hands with every little bit of energy he has in him as X and Bone Thug while Brickston wails away on Wall and Fly!! Just as PRL starts to slow down, Thunderkid then comes over and starts throwing fists too, making it 4 on 3!! COLE The battlelines have been drawn! "TEN!" "NINE!" "EIGHT!" COACH Oh no... not now! "SEVEN!" "SIX!" "FIVE!" "FOUR!" COLE Here comes someone who's gonna even the odds! "THREE!" "TWO!" "ONE!" [i]*BBZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZTTT!*[/i] [b]*1, 2, 3! Hit it!* [/b] The opening trumpet blare sounds out and "Let Me Clear My Throat (Old School Reunion Mix)" by DJ Kool starts playing, as The Mad Cappa sprints to the ring!

Wait, they acquired a search warrant to get into his MOUTH? If so, I've got me a new chat-up line!

Didn't that involve Kurt handcuffing Eddy and beating the shit out of him? Between NWO and WMXX, I think? Eddy actually fought Paul Heyman with both hands behind his back. While heading back up the aisleway, Angle confronted him. The "Oh, shit" look on Eddy's face was priceless. He actually turned a couple of weeks before that when he was guest referring one of Eddie's matches. But yeah, that was an awesome segment.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Fade in to a beautiful, crisp Winter's morning. Members of the OAOAST roster are making the trek up a small hill, chatting amongst themselves as they walk towards a group of what can be best described as hippies sat in a circle. The peacenicks stand and greet the confused OAOAST wrestlers with handshakes and invite them into the group. Pretty soon they're all being pulled into holding hands in a big circle. Melody Nerdly happily joins hands with the hippies. The Mad Cappa and Todd Cortez look mightily confused as they realise they're next to each other in the circle. One hippie nervously tries to convince Thunderkid to join hands with him. HIPPIE Okay everyone! [i][b]"I'd like to build the world a home"[/i][/b] All the hippies start to sing in unison. All the OAOAST wrestlers, unsurprisingly, do not. [i][b]"And furnish it with love"[/i][/b] Alfdogg and Landon share a "WTF" look with each other. Cuban Wall looks like he's seconds away from killing someone. [i][b]"Grow apple trees and honey bees and snow-white turtle doves[/i][/b] Both member of Team Heyross look incredibly awkward, wondering whether they should be getting out of here as soon as possible or just trying to blend in and hope the pain ends soon. [i][b]"I'd like to teach the world to sing"[/b][/i] The hippies with instruments in the middle of the circle really start to get into it now. The OAOASTers continue to wonder what the hell is going on. PRL raises his eyebrow in cheesy fashion. [i][b]"In perfect harmony"[/i][/b] Suddenly, Colombian Heat starts to look nervous as he hears some heathy breathing from just down the human chain, starting to warn the hippies they might want to stop... [i][b]"I'd like to hold it in my arms and kee..."[/i][/b] FAQU [B][SIZE=4]BLLLLLAAAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!![/SIZE][/B] *SMACK!* Down goes the tambourine playing hippie from a thrust kick! For a moment, there's stunned silence. Before then, everybody suddenly launches into the middle of the hippie circle and all hell breaks loose! Punches start flying, bodies start flying, only Alix Maria Spezia staying in the chain of hippies, singing away to her heart's content, oblivious to the fact everyone else has stopped. (V.O) The OAOAST presents, the 7th annual ANGLEPALOOZA [IMG=http://i261.photobucket.com/albums/ii59/KingCucaracha/anglepalooza.jpg] [b]~LIVE! on PPV~ [i]Sunday, 27th January 2008 Atlanta, Georgia[/i][/b] As the fighting continues on, Krista Isadora Duncan walks in front of the camera, picking up a bottle of beer and swigging from it. KRISTA Aaahh... can't beat the real thing. Krista wheels around and smashes the bottle over one of Los Conquistadors' head. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Yeah, I should say we know the Clusterfuck's pretty intimidating to most people (obviously not me) and we're not surprised or even that disappointed in the lack of participation, because let's face it that happens every year. We're not gonna cuss you all out for not writing the hardest match of the year... even if you did have an entire month. But, this is an opportunity for somebody. So, please take it. Please?

COLE Earlier tonight, we saw Theodore Moneymaker in jubilant mood. Little did we know the bombshell he was about to drop on us all, regarding Krista and her... illegitimate child. COACH Seriously, can we not have ONE original idea around here!? COLE Coach! This isn't the time for jokes, come on. I still can't believe what we heard earlier, certainly not what we expected on the road to AnglePalooza. And we understand that Moneymaker has refused to allow our backstage correspondent Josh Matthews into The Enterprise dressing room for any further comments, Josh has been standing by outside as apparently the [i]partying[/i] has begun inside. That is just... despicable in my book. Right now, let's take you other to another of our colleagues, Gene Okerlund is standing by. We swoop over to the interview stage, where the incomparable Mene Gene is indeed ready and waiting. OKERLUND Ladies and gentlemen, allow me to bring out my guests, the members of Internationally Known... and accompanied by Megan Skye, former OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion Landon Maddix! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" "Megalomaniac" curiously plays out not just Landon and Megan, but also all three members of Internationally Known. Landon and Megan lead the way to the interview stage while their newfound friends tail behind, Black mouthing off at the fans near the stage and holding up Blonde and Faqu. That gives Blonde chance to show off 'his' One and Only World Tag Team Championship belt to the camera, pointing out the other half of the stolen championships in the mouth of Faqu. Eventually all three make it onto the stage and assemble themselves around Landon, who chews away on a stick of gum nonchalantly. OKERLUND Gentlemen, right off the bat, I have to ask... who am I directing the questions to here? Just who is the 'ring leader' in all of this? MADDIX Come on Gene, you should know better than to ask that. Landon grins back at his IK buddies. OKERLUND In that case, maybe you can explain the situation to the world. What sort of deal or agreement is there between you and these three men standing behind you? MADDIX It's very simple. It's a case of 'what can I do for you, what can you do for me'? It's a mutual agreement, based on mutual benefits. When I came to this company I was a part of a group you might remember called The Wildcards. And we, The Wildcards, caused plenty of noise and had plenty of success. Me, Bruce Blank, Bloodshed... and Todd Cortez. Landon scowls as a few fans cheer Todd's name. MADDIX We were a group of outsiders and it's no secret, we took comfort in having a strength in numbers up against the entire OAOAST. Then, earlier this year, it began to fall apart. Bloodshed went first and nobody ever heard from him again... which, let's be honest, was for the best, but still. With Bloodshed gone we were down to three. Then, Bruce lost Survive Or Surrender and that was the last we'll see of him in the OAOAST. Leaving just me and Todd, which was as good as being alone. Infact, it was worse than being alone. I knew that Cortez couldn't be trusted. But I stuck by him, partly because the entire OAOAST was still on my back over the 'Wildcard' thing, but mainly out of the goodness of my heart. I tried to save him from disappearing into obscurity like the rest of The Wildcards. And sure enough, eventually, he stabbed me in the back like the coward he is! OKERLUND I'm not sure that's how it went down at all. MADDIX I'm pretty sure it was. Check the tapes. OKERLUND I fail to see what this has to do with these three. MADDIX Well, it's safe to say that I don't have many friends around these parts. I didn't get off on the best foot with a lot of guys. So when Cortez back-stabbed me, that left me with nobody to rely on. Nobody to watch my back. And it occurs to me that, when the same Todd Cortez is running around trying to break my neck with his ridiculous piledriver every time I turn around, I might [i]need[/i] that back-up. After all, I'm a busy guy. So I turned to someone. Guys who can be trusted. These three men. Landon points out the trio behind him. MADDIX What can they do for me? Simple. They can watch my back, like they watch each other's. I make no secrets about it. Now, you're probably thinking 'what reason do these three have to do that'. What possible loyalty could they have to me. Again, simple. What can I do for them? Look at these three. All talented. All with tons of potential. All with credentials. And all binded together by one common denominator... there's sick of their lack of opportunities in this company. They forged a bond in the hope that strength in numbers would help them coming out of Japan. A lot like The Wildcards, come to think of it. See, I can sympathise with these three. But I can also help them out. Associating themselves with the former OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion, the 2007 Wrestler Of The Year, it can only help their cause. Which is why, officially as of this moment, you are looking at the leader of [b]Cucaracha Internacional[/b]! The OAOAST version. And just look at the instant benefits. Nathaniel Black, in the next round of the Anderson Cup. James Blonde and the Samoan Bulldozer, Faqu, holding the Tag Team Titles! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Blonde raises 'his' half of the titles over his head, while Faqu continues to chew away on his. OKERLUND I'm sure The Lone Star Gunslingers, the Tag Team Champions, would have something to say about that. MADDIX Yes. Probably something along the lines of "Boy howdy pard'ner, I wish our wrasslin' pants weren't so dawg dang small so we had some'a that credability people are always talkin' about!" I mean, seriously. Are we seriously supposed to be worried about The Gunslingers. Two pussy whipped Texans? If they were so "rootin' and tootin'", surely they'd have come back after their belts by now? OKERLUND Well, they'll get their chance at AnglePalooza. Hopefully you'll have other things to concern yourself with on Sunday. MADDIX I will, but Megan will be out there with James and Faqu again. And of course, I look out for her at all times. That's the other thing these guys will get, see. Megan's expert managerial advice. Can you believe, seriously, that the blonde stick managing the Gunslingers won Manager Of The Year!? Over Megan!? I mean, it stands to reason that the manager of the Wrestler Of The Year should therefore be the best manager, right? I'm not even sure she classes as a 'manager'. Standing around and looking pretty, picking theme music, buying her client's clothes for them... Megan does ALL of those things to a much higher standard than 'Melody Nerdly', isn't that right? MEGAN Uh... yeah, I guess. But trust me, I do more than just manage... and clothes shop, apparantly. If Melody puts her hands on me again like she did last week, she'll find out I can kick ass as well! MADDIX HAWT! OKERLUND And as far as the Lethal Rumble goes... MADDIX As far as the Lethal Rumble goes, I've already set my stall out early. I am guaranteeing victory this Sunday, not because it makes me look good and not because it gets people talking, but because it's my match to win. At the risk of repeating myself, there's nothing and nobody out there who's gonna stop me from getting my rightful, long overdue shot at the World Heavyweight Championship one more time. OKERLUND But you know Todd Cortez wi... MADDIX Listen, Todd Cortez is a one-move wonder. And that one move doesn't end with somebody flying over the top rope. I've got a feeling that Todd Cortez won't be an issue come this Sunday. Nobody will. Nothing will. Mark my words. Quote me on this. You're looking at the winner of the 2008 Lethal Rumble, going all the way to LA, AngleMania VII, leaving one more time OAOAST World Champion. Be they big, be they bad... those 29 other entrants better Prepare For Landon! "Megalomaniac" cues up again as Landon and Blonde high-five, Black grinning on as the crowd boo away. COLE Landon Maddix, confident as ever. Is it misplaced confidence going into this Sunday and the Lethal Rumble? COACH Are you kidding? He's the odds on favourite as far as I'm concerned. Look at his record in battle royals, here and over at the SWF... who's got a better credential than Landon? I don't know if anyone does. COLE We'll see how he fares this Sunday.

[IMG=http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v82/papacita/OAOAST/syndicatedannouncers.jpg] SCHIAVONE The Anderson Cup 2008 continues on in mere moments, as The Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew and The Love Doctors bring a close to the Miracle Weirdness Connection Conference. So far, all three matches have gone to seeding, but will this one? Tony Schiavone alongside Jesse Ventura as always... Jesse, a tough one to call tonight. VENTURA Every match with you is a tough one to call, Schiavone! Ha ha! SCHIAVONE Indeed. It was one year ago, Rico and Lucius burst onto the scene in the tag team division by defeating the then Anderson Cup champions The Heavenly Rockers at this same stage. An impressive half-year there after saw them earn a number three seeding in this year's competition. But the past few months have been rough times for The Homewrecking Crew, ever since August and their involvement in the Scramble Cage, Tag Team Title Unification Match. Losing that match as HI-YAH Tag Champions, then failing to defeat Chicks Over Dicks for the OAOAST unified Titles have been major setbacks in their career and many are predicting last year's biggest scalp takers are going to be the big scalp [i]taken[/i] this time around. VENTURA No doubt Tony, a potential upset in the offering. The Love Doctors are a dangerous team, in that a lack of consistency has ended up with them getting a low seeding, but on their day they're capable of defeating any team in the OAOAST. SCHIAVONE Former HI-YAH Tag Team Champions for over a year. VENTURA Well, that was a few years ago now, but sure, why not. SCHIAVONE .... Lets go to the ring! Right on cue, out swagger the Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew as the melodic sounds of "Easy Lover" begin to play. Rico confidently strokes his porn 'stache with a knowing nod of the head, as Lucius appears from behind him and yells out at the crowd. Clearly amped up, Lucius tries to instill the same passion into his swathe partner on their way to the ring. "Easy lover She'll get a hold on you believe it Like no other Before you know it you'll be on your knees" BUFFER This contest is a Quarter Final Match in the Miracle Weirdness Connection Conference of the 2008 Anderson Cup and it is scheduled for one fall! Introducing, team number one. Total combined weight, four hundred and thirteen pounds... they are the number three seeds in the Miracle Weirdness Connection Conference... RICO DE JANEIRO and "SWEET" LUCIUS SOUL... together, they are THE MARDI GRAS HHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMEEWRECKING CCRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWii!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" As Lucius jumps into the ring, Rico turns his attentions to a female fan in the audience and shows off his pecs in all their hairy, baby oil covered glory. His blown kiss is rejected by the fan as Lucius pulls him into the ring and tries to get his partner's head in the game. [COLOR=red]*WHIIIR!* *WHIIIR!*[/COLOR] "Doctor, doctor, give me the news I've got a bad case of lovin' you No pill's gonna cure my ill I've got a bad case of lovin' you" Rico settles down now as new objects of affection for the females arrive. The Love Doctors bounce onto the stage looking like they've just finished their shift for the night, until the white coats are seductively pulled off and thrown to the side. BUFFER And introducing the opponents. Hailing out of Windy City Hospital in Chicago, Illinois... at a total combined weight of four hundred and thirty six pounds. The number six seeds in the Miracle Weirdness Connection Conference... DR. MAX ANDERSON and DR. MAX PIGLEY... THE LLLOOOOOOOOOVVEEEEEE DDOOOOOOOOOCCTTOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRSSSSSSS!!!! "YYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" The clean-cut docs get the Calgary crowd in their corner while Rico and Lucius watch on, unimpressed. VENTURA No surprise these people love the Docs. Health care is free up here, after all. SCHIAVONE The Love Doctors are loved worldwide. VENTURA Yeah, by women. And word on the street is that's only down to Windy City Hopsital's special 'discounts'. SCHIAVONE Unsubstanciated rumours. *DINGDINGDING!* Dr. Anderson starts the match out with "Sweet" Lucius Soul. A very determined looking Lucius Soul. The two men square up and words are exchanged, mainly from the fast talking Lucius, who tries to put an exclamation point on his words with a slap. Anderson ducks... and ducks a backhand slap... before catching an attempted boot! Left hopping on one foot, Lucius is much less arguementative now and pleads for forgiveness. Dr. Anderson smirks at the idea and instead spins Lucius around by the leg. He then throws a clothesline... but in mid-spin, Lucius suddenly drops and does the [i]splits[/i] and avoids the clothesline! VENTURA Woah! That's a new one on me! Pushing out of the splits, Lucius mouths off to Dr. Pigley while Anderson gets over his surprise and catching Rico coming into the ring with a hiptoss! Lucius sees his partner flying past him and understandably turns around to see what happened, walking into a hiptoss of his own! Out of the ring scramble both Mardi Gras'ers, as Dr. Anderson fires up the crowd. LUCIUS Fuck dat shit! SCHIAVONE Uh, Lucius... a little frustrated. VENTURA Good cover. Lucius and Rico meet up on the floor and try to regroup, but suddenly see Dr. Pigley diving towards them and take cover. However Pigley fakes out and dives down next to the bottom rope... ...and when Rico and Lucius look up, it's Dr. [i]Anderson[/i] diving at them, BARRELING THROUGH THEM WITH A TOPÉ CON HILO!! "YYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" SCHIAVONE Dr. Anderson becoming the flying doctor on that one! VENTURA And The Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew have gotta get it together and fast! Once he's slapped a few hands, Dr. Anderson throws Lucius back into the ring for his partner. However, referee Mike Chioda is alert to who the legal man is and isn't, not allowing Pigley to stay in the ring. As he tries to get Pigley out, Anderson tries to get back in. But with the referee busy, it allows Rico to reach up and pull Anderson off the apron, causing him to faceplant into the ringside mats with a splat!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Rico quickly climbs back to the apron and acts innocent, while Anderson lays flat out on the floor. SCHIAVONE That helping hand from the floor went undetected by the referee and all of a sudden Anderson is in a bad way. Can The Love Doctors turn this match back around? We'll find out when we come back! [b]*COMMERCIAL*[/b] Back from the break and, sure enough, we rejoin the match with Dr. Anderson in the clutches of a rear chinlock courtesy of Rico de Janeiro. Dr. Pigley tries to get the crowd behind his partner as Rico wrenches away. VENTURA Rico's done a good job of shutting the Doc down during the break Schiavone. It's a methodical style that Rico favours but it's effective. Only 225, but he knows how to use his power to his advantage. Getting a sudden surge of energy, Dr. Anderson sits up and starts to max a move to his feet. Rico again shuts him down though, releasing the hold and clubbing him in the back. Another clubbing blow lands, followed with a double axehandle. Rico then hooks Anderson up, gutwrenching him and flipping him into a suplex! Leg hooked... 1... 2... No! Rico goes right back to the chinlock though, getting a nod of approval from his partner. SCHIAVONE Dr. Anderson simply hasn't recovered from that face-first meeting with the concrete before we went to commercial. But Rico and Lucius really haven't pressed home their advantage like I thought they would. VENTURA No, but they're dictacting the pace. Their pace. Rico strokes his 'stache while continuing to clamp away on the hold. Again Anderson draws from the fans' support and starts to get to his feet, Rico quickly adjusting into a front facelock as he does so. To the breadbasket goes Dr. Anderson though, landing right hands to the doughy physique of the Brazilian before lifting him up. He's forced to drop him after just a couple of steps due to the continuing choke, but he's closer to his corner now and in sight of a tag. Sensing this, Lucius jumps into the ring and rushes at Dr. Pigley, landing a forearm that draws him into the ring! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" The referee holds Pigley back, while Lucius picks up Anderson's legs and together The MGHWC walk him back towards their corner, facelock still applied. VENTURA Soul with a valuable helping hand, good tag team work, like it or not. Rico clamps back down on the facelock as Lucius takes the tag rope, waiting for his opportunity to legally come in. Up top he goes, dropping across Anderson's exposed back with a flying stomp. Lucius then executes a snap suplex and covers... 1... ...kickout! Big standing knee drop by Lucius and another cover... 1... 2... No! Quick tag is made again, Lucius holding Anderson's arms back for a stomp to the chest by Rico. Another boot slams into the chest, before Rico again clamps on a facelock. VENTURA Much as I hate to agree with you Schiavone, sooner or later either Rico or Lucius has gotta assume control and put Anderson away while they have the advantage. At the moment it's a little too tentative. SCHIAVONE And why might that be? VENTURA Well, it could be confidence. They might just be biding their time though. Who knows? As Anderson fights against the facelock, Rico lets him go and sends him off into the ropes. A simple fist buried into the gut doubles the Doctor over, setting him up for a back suplex. But Rico over shoots and Anderson lands on his feet. A shove in the back sends Rico off the ropes, the Brazilian throwing a clothesline on his way back but missing the mark, Max ducking the line and timing his Spinning Back Fist perfectly to crack Rico up under the jaWii VENTURA They might have bided too long Tony! SCHIAVONE They may very well... because THERE is the tag to the fresh Dr. Pigley! The fans get a renewed sense of hope as Dr. Pigley springs up to the top rope and takes out Rico with a Missile Dropkick! "YYYEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" The Doc jumps up and hands Lucius a reciept, not for something to ease his pain but a forearm that causes it, sending him to the floor and leaving him with just Rico to concentrate on. Ducking a clothesline, Pigley comes back off the ropes and takes a brief trip around the world before coming out of it with a headscissors takeover. Wobbly, Rico then walks into a standing dropkick, sending him tumbling out through the ropes and to the floor. Up off their feet come the crowd, as Dr. Pigley hits the ropes one more time, getting full run-up on a dive... ...that is about to get cut off, as Lucius Soul slides back into the ring and launches forward with the POOOOOOOOUUUUUU... ...NO! Pigley dodges! Barely keeping his feet, Lucius stumbles on into Dr. Anderson, who backdrops him up and over the top rope out by the rampway! With a quick look to each other, The Love Doctors then bring the crowd off their seats again, as they take off in unison, DR. ANDERSON WITH A PLANCHA, DR. PIGLEY WITH A TOPÉ, DOWN GO BOTH MARDI GRAS'ERS!! "YYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" VENTURA And the pace has picked up in a BIG way for The Love Doctors! SCHIAVONE Are Lucius and Rico going to live to regret not putting Anderson away when they had the chance? Thrown back inside, Lucius and Rico back away into opposite corners, followed by Pigley and Anderson respectively... "ONE!" "TWO!" "THREE!" "FOUR!" "FIVE!" "SIX!" "SEVEN!" "EIGHT!" "NINE!" "TEN!" Ten punches a-piece in the corner leave Rico and Lucius on unsteady legs. Pigley and Anderson set them up for a double irish whip, Pigley getting his half but Rico able to reverse on Dr. Anderson. Thinking quickly though, Max throws a LARIAT that wipes out the oncoming Soul! Diving over the bodies, Dr. Pigley body blocks Rico back into the corner, unloading with some more right hands while he waits for his partner to dispose of Lucius. SCHIAVONE And unlike their opponents, it looks like the Love Doctors are going straight for the kill! VENTURA No wonder they're never at the hospital. A double irish whip sends Rico off the ropes, Pigley dropping him with an inverted atomic drop on the way back and holding him in place for the dropkick from Anderson! SCHIAVONE Lovematic Grampa, signature Love Doctors! As Max, the illegal man, rolls out of the ring, Steven bridges over Rico with the pin attempt... 1... 2... NO! Tag made, allowing the Love Doctors five more seconds to execute a double team. Pigley scoops Rico back up and hovers him over the canvas this time, while Dr. Anderson warms up the Defibrilattor!! Cover by Anderson, Pigley leaving the ring... 1... 2... SAVE BY LUCIUS! Dr. Pigley tries to get straight back into the ring to aid his partner, but a Bicycle Kick knocks him off the apron to the outside. VENTURA Looks like Lucius has had enough! As Lucius turns around however, Dr. Anderson is waiting for him... *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...with a knifedge chop! *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" Another! *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" And a third. Irish whi... no, reversed! Lucius spins out in front of Anderson and sends the Doctor across the ring, into what would be the Mardi Gras corner, where both men not in the ring. Following in after Anderson, Lucius lunges forward looking for a Yakuza Kick in the corner... but Anderson moves and Soul CROTCHES himself on the top ring rope!! LUCIUS :O "OOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" By the standing leg, Anderson dumps Lucius the rest of the way up and over the top, before turning his attentions back to Rico and aiming for his head with the Lariat. Rico catches him though, spinning him into a gutwrench and throwing him up and over the shoulder... ...but Dr. Anderson escapes the sure to be unpleasant Moustache Ride and pulls de Janeiro down with a Backslide... SCHIAVONE Could have him! 1... 2... NO, Rico kicks out and quickly pulls Dr. Anderson back into a standing headscissors. SCHIAVONE Oh, Rico almost got caught. VENTURA But he's got him Tony, he's got him! A stroke down of the porn 'stache, then Rico hoists Dr. Anderson up again for the Moustache Ride. Dr. Anderson again tries to struggle free of the impact... and again manages it! Spinning Rico around, Anderson cracks him with a couple of elbow strikes. A slap from the left side cracks Rico and echoes around the arena, even as Anderson lands two more rapid fire open-handers... *SMACK!* ...and an Enziguri! Rico collapses in a heap, seemingly out of it. VENTURA Big succession of strikes right there! Great combination by Anderson. But he's not going for a cover? Anderson isn't done though, as he turns Rico over and drags him into position near the turnbuckles. The Doc heads up top, while on the outside Dr. Pigley cuts off Lucius from making a save. The two illegal men scrap on the floor, leaving Anderson clear to position himself up top. Getting his feet, Dr. Anderson tumbles down towards Rico with his 450 Splash... WHO GETS THE KNEES UP!! VENTURA Aww... big mistake by Anderson! Pulling himself off of Rico, the winded Dr. Anderson staggers away holding his ribs. Rico pulls himself up in the corner. And as Anderson slowly turns around, Rico scythes him down with a clothesline and cradles him up tight... 1... 2... 3!!!! *DINGDINGDING!* VENTURA Got him! Boy, they escaped with that one Tony! As Dr. Pigley jumps in for the save seconds too late, Lucius rushes around the ring and grabs Rico around the shoulders. The relieved Rico barely celebrates, unlike his partner, while in the ring Dr. Anderson sits up and slams the mat in frustration. BUFFER Your winners of the match, advancing on in the Miracle Weirdness Connection Conference... THE MARDI GRAS HHOOOOOOOMEWRECKING CCRRRREEEWWWWWWii! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Lucius pumps his fists in celebration as he and Rico escape off with their victory to general disapproval from all in the arena. SCHIAVONE An opportunistic victory, you have to say, for the number three seeds. VENTURA It's like the saying goes, 'it only takes three seconds'. The clothesline, after the meeting with the knees lets not forget, enough with that tight pin to put down Dr. Anderson for those crucial three seconds. Call it opportunistic, call it what you want, but that could be a big victory in the careers of Rico and Lucius. Their streak of bad luck is over. They won ugly, sure, but all that matters is they won. SCHIAVONE And they advance to the Conference Semi Finals, which begin on this very show next week. Their 'reward' for victory Jesse? A meeting with The Sooner Bruisers! VENTURA There's no easy opponent at this stage of the competition, but that is a stinker for Mardi Gras. They better hope tonight was a turning point. They're gonna need all the momentum they can gather going up against The Sooners, I can guarantee you that! SCHIAVONE As we said, the Conference Semi Finals to be held over the weeks of January 31st and February 7th. We'll be here Jesse, it's shaping up to be quite a tournament. VENTURA It's a 'pick 'em' in my book. Anyone's for the taking. SCHIAVONE And we look forward to next week, but we're not done on HeldDOWN~! tonight. Don't go anywhere, more action coming up...

Seems to be legit too, not a gag team. Hope so. They're hyping it as 84 men, which is of course 28 teams for those of you without calculators or two extra sets of hands. How that works, I don't know.

I won't argue that was overpushed, but the guy had great agility for his size, legitimate amateur wrestling background and a military background. Let's face it, how hard should it have been in the current climate to have gotten THAT guy over, in theory, when he was actually ready if not now? The fans reacted to him during the Finlay feud. They reacted to him during the Umaga feud. There was something there and potential to be more. *looks around* Uh, I mean... 18. Lashley didn't have a self-referencial theme song sung for him.

Ditto with Undertaker and BDV. You bring BDV over from ECW (well, talent exchange him, whatever) and have him target Undertaker, build up last week that he'll be a big threat to Undertaker at the Royal Rumble... and then he loses cleanly, via tapout no less, the week before the PPV? Strange booking. I've been expecting Finlay to do the scenario Canadian Dragon mentioned for a while now and I've still got a sneaking suspicion that Finlay's going to actually eliminate Hornswoggle on Sunday. I mean, let's face it, who else is going to eliminate him? Any heel would be pushed in an instant feud with Horny and Finlay and I don't see that happening. Khali's been presented as too much of a putz for him to do it. And it'd be wasted on a face, like HHH or Michaels for example, as a 'throw him out and shrug goofily when people start booing' spot.

Kofi's a face, right? Are there even any heels on ECW for him to squash? Oh, wait, I forgot about the talent exchange. Looks like Kenny Dykstra's chance to shine.

I can tell already, the constant HD mentions are going to make this week tough to sit through. If you're watching in HD, you're not going to need constant reminders and if you're not watching in HD, chances are you won't care. Incidentally, what's the betting on 'HD' or 'High Definition' references from King and JR in the first 5 minutes. I'm saying 6.

1990 for me. The DiBiase run was great. The sequence between DiBiase, Jake, Savage and Piper is probably the best two minutes in Rumble history. The iconic Hogan/Warrior showdown was so perfectly done. Andre's elimination, ditto, because it made Demolition look great. Plus the crowd are red hot through most of the Rumble (maybe until Hogan and Warrior went down), you've got Jesse "The Body" on commentary. So much good stuff.

Of course it did! It was 1999! That's like saying any WCW show from 1996 sucked simply because it was centered around the NWO. I'm surprised that people are using the "at least it was short" line as a defence for the '95 Rumble. It's the biggest one off match of the year. It's not supposed to be short. The reason it was short was the same reason that it sucked, because there was no real effort put into it. It was a total 'fuck you' to anyone who bought the PPV, because it's main selling point was so BLATANTLY treated as unimportant and a waste of time.