King Cucaracha

What are The Kartel like? Style-wise and character-wise. I know the names but I can't place ever seeing them.

Uh...

I can see where you're coming from. I guess it depends on the RAW side of the main-event. If it's Orton vs. Batista, they might also feel the need to have Cena involved as an 'insurance policy', since it'd be the first Mania main-event for both without a big star opposite. Maybe it's just the idea of Cena over-shadowing other people that I'm not keen on. If it is, for example, Orton/Batista with Cena as guest enforcer, the guy on the outside is going to as focused on as the guys inside, which I don't like the idea of for a Mania main-event (assuming in that scenario that Edge and Undertaker don't go on last). My preference would be Cena as guest commentator. Cena gets announced in advance, he can definately add something to the match from the announce position, plus you've got the tease of a run-in in the background without it being a big distraction.

The first Supercard Of Honor is probably my favourite ROH show top to bottom and the show from the very next night, Better Than Our Best, is a really good choice too. I've just gotten through Glory By Honor V Night 2 in the past week, also very good, the top three matches are all excellent.

I'd think anything at Mania would be a waste, outside of him maybe showing up and cutting a promo to break the show up a bit (like Batista did during one of his lay-offs). Cena's return is a natural money spinner for the company if booked right. WrestleMania is probably the one show all year where they don't need to rely on that boost. His first physical involvement in a match (as a referee/enforcer, as Hawk said, or something along those lines) could easily boost the buyrate for one of the B-shows. And his first match back, even more so.

If it's the one I've seen advertised, the front cover mentions that it's his work in Full Impact Pro (ROH's sister company). So it looks like a possible re-release of the "Best Of CM Punk: Declarations" compilation that's out there.

Gah, totally forgot about the six-man tag. It's edited in now.

Matches. And a couple of interesting developments through the medium of 'segments'. I call main-event this week! But not for: Anderson Cup First Round D*LUX vs. James Blonde and Faqu

If Killings comes back, I doubt it'll be as 'Ron Killings'. Let's face it, if they changed Monty Brown's name and repackaged a former NFL player in the process, I can't see them not changing Killings'. Maybe not back to K-Kwik. As Toxxic said, he could fill the now absent Cryme Tyme role, I'd expect him to be some sort of middle ground between Kwik and Killings.

BUFFER The following contest is a Quarter Final Match in the Los Infernales Conference of the 2008 Anderson Cup, scheduled for one fall! The red carpet has been rolled out in Monterrey but the welcome might not last long for The Beverly Hills Blonds. With "Call Me" by Blondie playing away in the background, out struts Simon Singleton with his trusty Siclopse camera and trusty human tripod, Molly Nerdly. And behind him, Ned Blanchard, showing typical American cultural awareness by wearing a Stars and Stripes patterned PONCHO over his fancy ring jacket! Waving away with his minature American flag, Ned seems blissfully ignorant to the hatred directed at him or the likelihood of a riot starting up. [i]"Call me (call me) on the line Call me, call me any, anytime CALL ME! (call me)"][/i] BUFFER Introducing team number one. Being led to the ring by MOLLY NERDLY... at a total combined weight of four hundred and sixty pounds. They are the number four seeds in the Los Infernales Conference, and former three time OAOAST World Tag Team Champions! Representing THE ENTERPRISE... "THE HANDSOME HUSTLER" NED BLANCHARD... "THE VIDEO VOYEUR" SIMON SINGLETON... THE BEVEEEERRRRLLLYYY HHHIIIIIILLLSSS BLLLLOOOOOOOONDSSSSS!!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" As Simon and Ned make their way into the ring, we are taken across the arena to where Tony Schiavone and Jesse "The Body" Ventura are seated. SCHIAVONE Warm welcome back from Jesse Ventura and myself, from Monterrey Mexico! The seedings have thrown up quite a match to kick off the Los Infernales Conference tonight, Jesse. VENTURA No doubt about it Schiavone, we've got two highly experienced teams in action here, both former OAOAST World Tag Team Champions. Infact if I remember correctly, it was under two different incarnations that these two teams traded that World Tag Title... The New, New Midnight Express losing to The Sk8ter Boiz in one of the biggest upsets in OAOAST memory. SCHIAVONE Almost three years ago, that's correct. A lot of time has passed and both The Beverly Hills Blonds and The Christ Air Express have changed quite a bit since then. But I'm sure that history between the four hasn't been forgotten. As the atmosphere in the arena reaches fever pitch, mostly due to Blanchard's offensive attire, The Blonds go through a last minute strategy session. Molly meanwhile goes through some last minute adjustments to the Siclopse, all noted down in her ledger. Yes, she brought a ledger to the ring. She's an intern. .:CUE: "Like The Angels", Rise Against:. The fresh new music brings out the fresh new MARV and MEL, the re-invented Christ Air Express bursting out onto the stage through a cloud of 'heavenly' white smoke. The high energy brothers hit a leaping high-five before they march to the ring, tagging hands with the Mexican fans on their way. BUFFER And, their opponents hail from Edmonton, Alberta Canada... total combined weight, three hundred and seventy pounds. They are the number five seeds in the Los Infernales Conference and former OAOAST World Tag Team Champions... MARV and MEL... THE CHRIST AIR EEEXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXPPRRRRRREEEEEESSSSSSSSS!!!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" SCHIAVONE As The Christ Air Express make their way to the ring, let's hear these pre-recorded comments made just before we came on the air... [COLOR=purple][i]OAOAST[/i][/COLOR] A small square box SWOOPS~ in and settles on the upper right hand side of the picture. There, MARV and MEL stand in front of a grey OAOAST backdrop. MEL Alright, the waiting is almost over. Anderson Cup, 2008, this is it 'bro. MARV Our first Anderson Cup as The Christ Air Express and this is what we've been working towards. Four matches away from stepping out and making our statement. First up, tonight, it's The Beverly Hills Blonds. Kinda ironic. The more things change, the more they stay the same I guess. Ned and Simon, I know that's true of you. You're still the same arrogant jerkoffs you've always been. But we're not the MARV and MEL you're used to dealing with. You're not fighting the same Nerdly brothers. Tonight, you're fighting Divine Intervention. MEL That's right, it's not just about the tights or the music, it's about a change. A change for the better. And tonight we've got all we need to take you out of the Anderson Cup! [COLOR=purple][i]NEW YEARS SPECTACULAR~![/COLOR][/i] We cut back to live action as MARV and MEL work the Mexican crowd. Huddled on the outside, The Blonds confer with Molly Nerdly, drawing on her vast knowledge of the professional wrestling business no doubt. SCHIAVONE Neither of these teams bringing much in the way of momentum into this match. The Christ Air Express went down to the makeshift team of Christian Wright and Alix Maria Spezia last Thursday on HeldDOWN~!, while The Beverly Hills Blonds were also beaten, by no lesser team than Zack Malibu and Bohemoth. Not great preparation for either duo. VENTURA No but I think we can chalk both of those results off right now and say they shouldn't be a factor. Tonight's the night it counts. It's win or go home, simple as that! *DINGDINGDING!* With the opening bell gone, MARV and MEL high-five. It's MEL to start, jumping about on the balls of his feet impatiently while The Beverly Hills Blonds stall for time on the outside devising their gameplan. Eventually the smiling Blonds decide on Simon Singleton to start, rolling into the ring and shooing MEL back while he fixes his kneepads. SCHIAVONE Neither team had a great night last Thursday as we said. It certainly doesn't look to have dampened The Beverly Hills Blonds' spirits though. Not judging by the grin on Singleton's face as he locks up with MEL. Wringing out the arm, Simon brings MEL down to one knee and nods his head confidently, cheered on by his number one (potentially, only) fan Molly Nerdly from ringside. MEL manages to push up and roll through, breaking contact on the wrist. A dropkick attempt is swatted away by Singleton though, quickly trapping MEL in a front facelock as he lands empty-handed. VENTURA That's the battle The Blonds have to win. Smarts against speed. Simon manoeuveres around the ring, trying to line up the perfect camera shot of his fundamental side headlock. Just as Melody gives him the a-okay from behind the lens, MEL finds a way out of the facelock with an arm wringer of his own. MEL then pulls Simon over with an armdrag, setting him up for the dropki... ...no! Simon shrugs away the dropkick again and again applies the front facelock. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Applause from Ned and Melody back B.O.S.S up as he continues to boss MEL with the facelock. So confident is Ned that he turns out to the crowd in search of more notches to his proverbial headboard. Finding no [i]buenos[/i] notches (eh... eh...) however, he grumpily turns back to the action as Simon has worn MEL down to one knee. Satisfied that he's softened up enough, Simon pulls MEL back upright and with a swing of the hips, tries to execute a Swinging Neckbreaker. However, MEL is not as softened up as he thought, able to swing through with the move and pull down Simon in an inside cradle... 1... 2... No! First up, Simon lunges for the facelock one more time. MEL evades the lunge though, waiting for Simon to turn around and connecting on the dropkick this time! A second dropkick puts Simon down again! And a third... is a fake out, Simon's sidestep for nought as he gets jarred with an inverted atomic drop. Off the ropes comes MEL, knocking Singleton down with a flying forearm on the rebound and giving the Monterrey crowd something to cheer about finally. SCHIAVONE MEL was prepared for that swinging neckbreaker and suddenly, the tide has changed. VENTURA And Ned, not eyeing up the senoritas right at the moment! It's MEL's turn to grab the front facelock now, reaching out a foot for MARV to tag himself in. Off the top he comes with a quick axehandle to the ribs before controlling Simon with an arm wringer. Ned reaches out as far as the tag rope will allow him, Simon making a big lunge for the tag... but missing and hitting the mat as MARV pulls back on the wrist. MARV wrings out the arm again and leaves Simon hurting. But The Video Voyeur has an idea, as we can tell by the fact he taps his head. Simon gets his feet and after some prepatory squats, he rolls through... ...but MARV rolls through with him and maintains the wristlock, to Simon's despair! SCHIAVONE There's some smarts from MARV, Jess. By the arm, MARV sends Singleton into a neutral corner with an irish whip. MARV gets a full run-up and dives at Simon, through the ropes with his body, the trailing arm clotheslining The Video Voyeur across the chest! SCHIAVONE Through the eye of the needle goes MARV, great timing and technique to execute that. VENTURA And now he's going up top. Could be a risk, so early in the match! Seeing his partner staggering around aimlessly and MARV poised to fly, Ned realises he has to help out and runs down the length of the apron to cut the Christ Airer off. MARV sees him coming though and leaps early, catching Ned with a Missile Dropkick that knocks him off the apron and to the arena floor! "YYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" Having a relatively safe landing, MARV quickly calls MEL into the ring. The brothers quickly send off Simon with a double irish whip, taking him over with a double hiptoss. MARV sits Simon up for MEL, who dives into him from behind with a basement dropkick. MARV then follows it up coming off the ropes in front with a basement crossbody block, reaching back for the leg... 1... 2... No! Only just reaching the apron, MEL is legally tagged in by MARV and The Christ Air Express set up another double-team. Ned again tries to help out his partner, but ends up drawing over referee Mark Hebner. VENTURA Now, what the hell is Ned doing wrong!? Does this idiot referee think he's seeing double instead of twins, there's two men in the ring and he's going after Ned!? SCHIAVONE Well, The Christ Air Express made a tag, Ned didn't. MARV and MEL have a count of five... VENTURA One, two, three, four, five, six, seve... SCHIAVONE But Ned is distracting the referee Jesse. He's only got one pair of eyes. Irish whip sets up a boot from MARV. MEL hits a kneelift, into a neckbreaker from MARV. MEL then stacks up Simon with a jacknife pin, waiting on the out of position referee... 1... 2... Ned with the save. VENTURA I suppose the referee's going to lecture Ned for that too. Sure enough he does... ...but this time, it plays to The Blonds advantage, as Simon manages to catch MEL with a LOWBLOW as he's being pulled to his feet. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Despite the protests of MARV, referee Hebner didn't see the lowblow and can't call what he can't see. He does see the tag, finally bringing Ned Blanchard into the match for the first time. SCHIAVONE Ned, not making many friends south of the border tonight. VENTURA That's not the story I hear. Scooping MEL up, Ned drops him with a simple backbreaker and covers... 1... 2... No! MARV gets drawn into the ring by a stray wad of spit from The Handsome Hustler and credit where it's due, the referee does his job again to hold MARV from getting into the match. Of course, that allows The Blonds to bend the rules a little, Simon holding MEL from the outside while Ned stomps him in what should be a neutral corner. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" As The Blonds continue to go to work, MARV gets the hint and leaves the ring. He then heads for The Blonds' corner, while they continue to do their dirty work, timing a little off as they're spotted by the referee. Simon and Melody get into it with referee Hebner, not noticing that behind them, MARV has made off with The Beverly Hills Blonds' trusty clapboard! VENTURA Now hang on just a minute! SCHIAVONE Oh, this is a great move from MARV! One less thing to worry about in this match with that clapboard gone! VENTURA That is personal property of The Enterprise, he's got no right taking that! SCHIAVONE After the amount of times we've seen Ned and Simon illegally put that to use in their matches, why not? What do they even need a clapboard at ringside during a match for anyway? Incase a film suddenly breaks out? VENTURA Now don't you get smart with me Schiavone! Simon returns to his corner, clueless to the 'theft' of his treasured clipboard. Meanwhile, Ned looks to make it all a mute point as he scoops and slams MEL in the middle of the ring. Tag is made and Simon heads to the top, Ned loading him up ready for the ROCKET LAUNCHE... ...KNEES UP!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!" Holding his head in his hands, Ned makes a move to help out Simon, only to realise he's not the legal man and be sent back to his corner. SCHIAVONE The Christ Air Express had the Rocket Launcher scouted as well, I think they must have been watching their Best Of Blonds DVD on the flight over! VENTURA Sure looks like they've done something. Ned clings onto the tagrope and wills Simon to get over, to tag out. Luckily Simon had taken a minute or so to freshen up before that and is able to get back over to make the tag, quickly enough for Blanchard to cut off the tag on the other side. Dragging MEL up by the hair, Ned lays in with a right hand. And another. A quick kick to the ribs then knocks MEL down, Ned displaying his oft-forgotten black belt in karate. BLANCHARD OVER! No reaction. BLANCHARD Oh, that's right... uh... [i]EL OVER-O![/i] Still little reaction, so Ned makes the universal signal that it's OVAH~! and picks MEL up. On goes the front facelock, Ned moving closer to the ropes and lifting up MEL... ...but MEL pushes his feet off the top rope, not as Ned had expected... ...AND COUNTERS WITH A DDT VARIATION!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" VENTURA Oh wow, right on his head! That looked ugly! SCHIAVONE Another patented Beverly Hills Blond move is countered and now, can the Christ Air Express make that tag? Woozy, Ned waves his hand aimlessly, hoping it'll somehow connect with Simon's. It's only when he gets his senses about him that he realises he's heading for the wrong corner and makes a quick u-turn. MEL is close also, the crowd sensing the tag on both sides... ...getting it from The Blonds... ...but NOT from The Express! Simon drags MEL away from the tag, agonisingly close. Taking a potshot at MARV, Simon then watches with a smile as the referee keeps him at bay, allowing Simon to call to the outside. And again. Still no sign of Melody though, as she frantically routes around ringside for the missing clapboard!! Her head bobs up from under the apron and with a shrug she gives Simon the bad news... and then points behind Simon, as her brother gets to his feet. Simon, panicking by now, takes a wild swing which is ducked and converted into a Half Nelson Facebuster by MEL, planting B.O.S.S face first into the canvas!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!" SCHIAVONE I know ever since last week, The Blonds have been pretty vocal about how pleased they were with their Anderson Cup chances. They felt they got dealt a pretty good hand with the seedings. I wonder if they still feel so pleased right now. VENTURA There's no easy rides in the Anderson Cup, that's for sure. Even so, I didn't expect MARV and MEL to fare so well as they are. MEL rolls over and finds himself fortuitously in his own corner, allowing him to reach up and MAKE THE TAG! In comes MARV, first targetting Ned Blanchard and knocking him down with a forearm. Another running forearm puts down Ned, before Simon staggers up and into the same fate. Ducking out of the ring, MARV quickly heads to the top and waits for The Blonds to pick themselves up. High Crossbody Block... ducked by Ned... but not by Simon!! 1... 2... KICKOUT! Ned makes a save a second too late, not the disaster it could have been. He clubs away on the back of MARV until MEL comes over to weigh into the battle. Blanchard and MEL exchange blows in one corner, while MARV pulls up Singleton and sets him up for the Jawjacker! A quick knee to the gut cuts that off though, Simon pulling MARV into a standing headscissors and pulling him off the canvas. VENTURA Piledriver! CONNECTS! MARV gets dropped, right on his head! SCHIAVONE That move, illegal in Mexico, but I guess not in the Anderson Cup! Some of the crowd boo for that very reason, while Simon turns MARV over and drapes across him... 1... 2... SHOULDER UP!! VENTURA MARV able to kick out, but that energy he came in with got snuffed out the moment his head hit the mat. It's advantage Blonds again now. Simon drags MARV off the mat, checking Ned and MEL are out of the way before sending him off with an irish whip. A duck of the head comes too early though, MARV over top with a sunset flip... 1... 2... NO!! Rolling through, Simon grabs the legs, trying to apply a Boston Crab. MARV gets his feet tucked in though and pushes off, causing Simon to crash back into the turnbuckles. The back of Singleton's head strikes the bottom turnbuckle and down he goes, MARV rolling backwards and looking to follow up... ...but getting spun around by Ned and STUN GUNNED before he knows what's happening! "OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHH!!" MARV stays hung over the top rope as Ned drops to a knee, trying to wake up Simon. In the midst of all this however, MARV is pulled off the ropes and rolled out of the ring. Not by opposition, but by his own partner. Once MARV is out of the ring, MEL quickly lies down in his brother's place near the ropes. VENTURA Hey... did you see that? SCHIAVONE I did, I think The Christ Air Express just pulled a switch! Oblivious to this are Ned and Simon, with the latter having helped his partner back up and checking he's okay. Assuming that 'MARV' has fallen off the ropes, Ned picks him back up and sets him over the ropes again, unaware that it's actually MEL that he's bringing across the ropes. Setting the ankles over his shoulders, Ned waves Simon to the ropes for the patented NNMX/BHB double-team. However, the moment Simon sets off, MEL suddenly pulls forward on the ropes, keeping his feet locked around Ned's head and bringing him for the ride with a headscissors to the floor!!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" SCHIAVONE There goes ANOTHER move out of the playbook. VENTURA This isn't right Schiavone, that's the illegal Nerdly brother in there! Unable to put on the brakes, Simon runs into MEL as he skins the cat back inside. MEL manages to hook up Simon for a headscissors as well, pushing off the top rope... and adjusting in mid-air, pulling down Simon with a modified victory roll... 1... 2... 3!!!!!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" VENTURA You've gotta be kidding me!! *DINGDINGDING!* "Like The Angels hits again and MEL scoots out of the ring, embraced by MARV on the floor, the crowd going wild... all of this before Simon Singleton can even comprehend what just happened! Sitting up in the middle of the ring, the wide-eyed Video Voyeur holds his head in his hands BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, your winners of the match... advancing in the 2008 Anderson Cup... THE CHRIST AIR EEEEXXXXXXXXXXXXPPPRRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSS!!!!!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" The CAE jump for joy in the aisleway, while Simon still tries to come to terms with what just happened. Even the consolation of Melody Nerdly's arm around him doesn't cheer him up, Simon cursing the fact that her mother was capable of giving birth to identical twins... amongst about 40 others. Ned too joins in the shocked reaction, as The Christ Air Express look to escape back over the border with the victory they came for. VENTURA As a proud member of the Anderson Cup committee, I cannot believe what just took place. Cheating, theft, illegal switches. Every dirty trick in the book it took to put The Beverly Hills Blonds out of the Anderson Cup! I can't believe that! SCHIAVONE The Blonds, they've been tricked before by the ol' switcharoo trick. Remember Los Diablos? And now, The Christ Air Express pull the wool over the eyes of Ned and Simon as well! MARV and MEL continue to celebrate, leaving the poor Blonds distraught in the centre of the ring. VENTURA Those two might have snatched the win tonight, but I doubt we've heard the last of this Schiavone! I highly doubt it!

Admittedly, I haven't caught every week of ECW in the past few months but... when was the last time Armando actually appeared on screen? I can't remember seeing him since, I think, the week after he was actually introduced. EDIT: Colin Olsen~!

WHAA!? I'm amazed ROH were actually able to get Sunny, Puder and Bushwhacker Luke on the show and have it make some sense. On paper it looks like the worst EWR booking experiment ever, but it seems to work.

No ringer will ever match Laberinto.

We return to HeldDOWN~! to, strangely, find Landon Maddix and Megan Skye in the ring. Strangely mainly because Landon is in a WHEELCHAIR and wearing a NECKBRACE. (Hey, it beats explaining how they got him into the ring in the chair, huh?) Typically he recieves no sympathy from the Pheonix crowd, even as he grimaces in pain. Holding up a microphone, Megan taps the end to a- make sure it's on and b- get everyone to quiet down. At least she gets one of those, before she hands the mic to Landon. MADDIX First of all, I'd like... (stops and favours neck)... first of all, I'd like to wish you all a belated, but nonetheless Happy, Cucarachamas. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" MADDIX And, of course, a Happy Cucarannukah for some of our foreign viewers. Landon is again forced to stop because of his bad neck. Megan wraps an encouraging arm gently around him, motioning for the fans to stop booing and show some compassion. COLE Did he just say Cucarannukah? COACH I don't know. Let's rewind... oh, wait, we're live, shut up. MADDIX As you can see, I'm not at my best here tonight. Unfortunately, two weeks ago I suffered a neck injury that would have commited a normal man to a wheelchair for life. Luckily for me, I am no mere normal man... thus, this wheelchair is not for life, just for Christmas. That doesn't mean I am any the less in pain however. Having suffered through a miserable Christmas period, unable to enjoy the simple pleasures of a tobaggon ride, a snowball fight, the building of a snow replica of myself... partly because of the lack of snow around my villa in Madrid, but mainly because of my CRIPPLING neck pain... I come back tonight in a pretty bad mood. Some of the crowd pick this moment as the perfect moment to heckle Landon. MADDIX You people really know how to kick a man when he's down, huh? "YOU SUCK!" "YOU SUCK!" "YOU SUCK!" "YOU SUCK!" MADDIX MOVING ON! Tonight, I'm here for one reason. It's not to wrestle as you can probably guess. Instead, I'm out here to try and help out each and every member of the OAOAST roster... lord knows there's enough of them. Tonight, I'm demanding that something finally be done about Todd Cortez! The crowd cheer Cortez's name, perhaps not realising it might seem like they're agreeing with Landon. MADDIX The Riot Act Plus has already taken too many victims. Me. That's one too many! Which is why I think it's about time our President, Commissioner, Director Of Authority, General Manager, whatever the hell AngleSault is, did the decent and sensible thing and banned the Riot Act Plus, before more innoce... .:CUE: "Oh No", Mos Def, Nate Dogg, and Pharoah Monche:. COACH Oh no. Landon's eyes bulge as out marches Todd Cortez, presumably to disagree [i]strongly[/i] with his opinion. Pleading with Megan to wheel him out of the ring Landon watches in fear as Cortez slides into the ring, stalking right towards him. Landon frantically starts to try and wheel himself backwards, which gets him into a corner at least. For all the good that'll do. COACH The handicapped groups of America are sure gonna let us hear about this! COLE Handicapped? Maybe mentally, I'm sure if Landon were in need of a wheelchair we'd have heard about it before now. MADDIX N-n-now Todd, let's... let's not be hasty... I mean, I'm willing to, uh, debate the pros and cons of this, uh... Suddenly, as Cortez starts to near Landon, Megan springs into life and jumps onto Cortez's back! The former SWF Women's Champion, for whatever that's worth, tries to put some sort of choke on The Urban Legend, earning her a quick beil off the back and hard onto her ass in the middle of the ring. Landon cheers his manageress on, despite the fact she's clearly in trouble. COLE Megan might want to get out of here. Fast. No such luck, as Cortez grabs her by the hair... and pulls her into a standing headscissors! "YYYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAA..." COLE Oh no... Todd, don't do this! Before Todd can even think about setting up Megan for the RAP, Landon Maddix MIRACULOUSLY SPRINGS OUT OF HIS WHEELCHAIR!! Reaching into the spokes of the right wheel, he pulls out a lead pipe... ...uh, wait a second... he pulls out a pi... ...wait for it... THERE WE GO! He eventually pulls out a pipe, turning around and swinging for Cortez's head... ...trouble is, Cortez has thrown Megan aside at least three seconds ago and been watching Landon struggle to pull the weapon from his chair. Ducking the wild swing, Cortez boots Maddix in the gut. The pipe flies off out of the ring as Cortez pulls Landon into a standing headscissors. And as he flails around trying in vain to prevent it, Landon is pulled up into the air by the tumbling Urban Legend... COACH NO!! HE'S WEARING A NECKBRAAAAAAAAAACE... *WHAM!* ...AND SPIKED ON HIS HEAD WITH THE RIOT ACT PLUS~!!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Happy Cucarannukah, Landon Maddix!! His job for the night done, Cortez casually rolls out of the ring as the shocked Megan Skye watches on. Crawling across the ring she tries to revive Landon, while Cortez stolls back off to the back. COACH This is horrible. So horrible. COLE As plans go, that was a pretty lame effort, I have to say. No offence. COACH Well Landon's gotta do something! Apparantly nobody else cares about the damage the Riot Act Plus is doing! COLE That's because almost nobody else is getting hit with it! It's just Landon, week after week after week. COACH Yeah, rub it in! Can we not get some EMTs out here or something, I mean come on! COLE ...let's go to this!

OAOAST 6-Man Tag Team Championships: Lucha Libre Rules Trios Match Love Generation © vs. The Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew and Biff Atlas

As we return to HeldDOWN~! at the Holidays, the red carpet has been rolled out reading for the arrival of the OAOAST's true box-office superstars. Leading the way is Molly Nerdly, the hired intern more concerned with making sure she gets the right shots of the right people than playing to the thousands of people in attendance. Lucky then that Ned Blanchard and Simon Singleton do more than enough showboating to make up for anyone in the OAOAST. The Beverly Hills Blonds tread the red carpet, not looking phased by the task that awaits them. [i]"Call me (call me) on the line Call me, call me any, anytime CALL ME! (call me)"][/i] BUFFER The following tag team contest is set for one fall! Introducing first, on the way to the ring. Being accompanied by by MOLLY NERDLY... at a total combined weight of four hundred and sixty pounds. They are the former three time OAOAST World Tag Team Champions and the former HI-YAH World Tag Team Champions. Representing THE ENTERPRISE... "THE HANDSOME HUSTLER" NED BLANCHARD... "THE VIDEO VOYEUR" SIMON SINGLETON... THE BEVEEEERRRRLLLYYY HHHIIIIIILLLSSS BLLLLOOOOOOOONDSSSSS!!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Molly sets up the Siclopse at ringside, with Simon overseeing his [b]unpaid[/b] intern's efforts. Ned is too enfactuated with a couple of females three rows back to care about being in the ring alone though. COLE The Beverly Hills Blonds brought this match on themselves, by as we saw earlier trying to goad Zack Malibu and Bohemoth into a confrontation on their latest taping of Reel Talk. If they'd pulled it off it would have been a 'reel' talking point. But, instead, they get a tag match with two World Title contenders. Simon finally enters the ring, ignoring Ned's attempts to point the two hotties in the crowd out to him and trying to get him focused on the actual match ahead. COLE Not ideal preparation this for The Beverly Hills Blonds, as they begin their 2008 Anderson Cup campaign next week against The Christ Air Express at the New Year's Spectacular. Can't wait to get down to Monterrey, Mexico for that show! COACH Oh, yeah. I love taking my own bottled water with me on road trips for fear of contamination. COLE Coach! .....we're going on a [i]plane[/i]. COACH Oh right, right. Sorry. *BbwWbAhmotherfuckerLlIiiBbbEErRrAATtTeeyYyOUUurRrMmmMmMiIInNnDddDd!!* "YYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" As "Liberate" by Disturbed powers through the PA system, Pheonix somehow gets even HOTTER for the entrance of the coolest man in Arizona, The Meterosexual Monster, Bohemoth! Adjusting the orange-tinted sunglasses, Bohemoth marches to the ring, not waiting around at ringside for any partners. BUFFER And the opponents. First, hailing from Greenville, South Carolina... he weighs in at two hundred and eighty four pounds... "THE METEROSEXUAL MONSTER"... BBOOOOOOOOOOOO - HHHHEEEEEEEEMMMMMMOOOOOOOOTTHHHHHHHHHH!!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" Bo slides into the ring and referee Mike Chioda is quick to warn The Beverly Hills Blonds not to try anything stupid. So too is Bohemoth with an angry glare in their direction. No sooner has Bo's music died down than it's replaced by "Getting Away With Murder", a similiarly loud cheer going up around the arena for that also. BUFFER And... weighing two hundred, ten pounds! From Providence, Rhode Island... the former three-time OAOAST Heavyweight Champion of the World... "THE FRANCHISE", ladies and gentlemen, this is ZZAAAAAAAACCKK... MMMMMMAAAAAAALLLLLLLLIIIIIIIBBUUUUUUUUUUU!!!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" Stepping through the golden shower (of pyro), Zack pulls the hood down from his entrance attire and fires up the crowd, as if they needed it. Zack then marches to the ring with a similar purpose to his partner, who calmly goes through his warm-ups in his corner. COLE Ned and Simon will be banking, I'm sure, on these two men not being able to get along. Zack and Bohemoth's challenge may not be a direct challenge to one another, it may be friendly competition, but it does seem to be creating some tension as you'd expect from two proud athletes such as they. COACH It's not about being proud athletes Michael. It's like when two guys at a bar make a bet over who can pick up a girl first. At first, everything's nice and friendly. But it's all based on ego. And you know those two egos, especially ones as big as Malibu and Bohemoth's, are going to get poked and prodded, until sooner or later it begins to get personal. All these hand-shakes and compliments are only going to last for so long, before somebody's ego gets knocked too far out of line and they do something about it. That's the entertaining part... you KNOW it's going to happen, you just don't know when! Playing it cool, Ned and Simon talk strategy in the corner while Zack and Bo try to decide who's going to start. Easier said than done maybe. Eventually Zack decides to be the bigger man and allows Bohemoth to start, which prompts Simon to give his partner the signal with a pat on the back. Ned suddenly wheels around and sprints forward looking for the cheapshot... ...and SLAMMING on the brakes when he realises just who he's running into! COLE Uh-oh! Ned making a quick re-think here. Ned glares at Simon, who has wasted no time taking up position on the apron, for selling him out before trying to reason with Bo. "BO - HE - MOTH!" "BO - HE - MOTH!" "BO - HE - MOTH!" "BO - HE - MOTH!" BLANCHARD So... uh... see, here's what I think happened... Clothesline by Bo! "YYYEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" *DINGDINGDING!* The bell sounds, but it looks like Ned has had enough before he's even gotten started, rolling to his knees and begging off from The Meterosexual Monster. Bo picks him up by the EARS and shoves back into a neutral corner, ramming him in the gut with a shoulder. And again. And once more for good measure. Irish whip sends Ned corner to corner, hard enough for him to be bounced right back out into a Gorilla Press! Even seven feet in the air Ned tries to reason with the bigman, buying enough time for Singleton to come into the ring to help out. Zack is wise to that though and intercepts him with a clothesline. Out of the ring rolls Simon. But if he thinks he's escaped the worst of the situation, he's in for a hell of a shock as Ned comes soaring over the top and lands on him with a thud at ringside! COLE Oh my, Ned Blanchard thrown all the way over the top and onto his partner! The Beverly Hills Blonds are not getting off to an auspicious start... Brushing aside his partner, Zack grips onto the top rope and pulls himself all the way over with a SOMERSAULT PESCADO, wiping out the Blonds! "YYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" COLE ...and it didn't improve any there, either! "ZACK!" "ZACK!" "ZACK!" "ZACK!" Bohemoth watches on with hands on hips as he waits for Zack to feed him somebody. Zack first deals with the hands being held out over the guardrail by his adoring fans, which wastes too much time for Bohemoth's liking. The bigman leaves the ring and throws Ned back inside leading to an 'exchange of words' between himself and his preppy partner. COACH Here we go! This is what the people want to see Michael, I just hope TSM's got enough juice to cope with the ratings spike! COLE Not on their show, but Ned and Simon may get what they wanted after all. With the air apparantly cleared, Zack and Bo go their seperate ways with Bo heading back into the ring. The moment he ducks his head through the ropes though he finds a knee driven into the temple by the resourceful Ned Blanchard! Bo collapses into the ring, Ned right on him with some frenzied stomps before reaching out and tagging Simon Singleton in. The Video Voyeur picks up right where his partner left off, before springing off the bottom rope with a kneedrop. COLE The first little lapse in concentration by Bohemoth and The Blonds, the former 3-time OAOAST World Tag Team Champions, are right on top of him. Singleton drops a second knee on Bohemoth before positioning his throat across the bottom rope, stepping on his neck as he mugs to camera three, aka. his own Siclopse. "ONE!" "TWO!" "THREE!" "FOUR!" "FI..." Jumping off of Bohemoth, Simon takes referee Mike Chioda aside and tries to explain to him the importance of figure allignment in the world of photography and how that process takes more than the five seconds he was allowed. Chioda, perhaps keen on taking up a new hobby, takes all of this in while Bohemoth's throat is now draped across the middle rope by Ned Blanchard!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE And there's a good reason why Ned and Simon are three-time Tag Champions, their flagrant disregard for the rules! Seeing enough, Zack jumps from the apron and rounds the ring to help out his partner. Referee Chioda manages to spot that though, jumping out of the ring to cut the aghast Franchise off. Back in the ring, this allows The Beverly Hills Blonds to do even more damage. Ned keeps Bo pinned throat-down over the ring rope while Simon heads to the middle rope. Right on cue, Molly throws the trusty BHB clapboard to her personal B.O.S.S, an adept catch from Simon followed by him coming off the ropes, bringing the clapboard down on the lower back of Bohemoth!! COACH Aaaaaaand... CUT! COLE This is ridiculous. What kind of people bring a clapboard to the ring with them anyway!? COACH People who like hitting other people with clapboards. COLE Evidently. Simon ditches the evidence and forces Bo down into a pin, while Chioda finally gets Zack back to his corner... 1... Bo powers out! Rolling Bohemoth over onto his front, Singleton singles out the small of the back with stomps and then the point of his elbow. Bo climbs to his feet but the kicks keep coming, Bo finding himself backed into the Beverly Hills district of the ring and sneakily trapped by a handful of the tights on the outside by Ned. More kicks from Singleton wear down Bohemoth to the point that Ned can safely tag in, stinging Bo with a hard uppercut as he steps through the ropes. COLE Chioda warning Ned to open the fist up but that's like telling a drunk carjacking hit-and-run driver not to litter. Once he's shaken off the effects of the right hand, it looks like the shot has woken Bohemoth up. And The Hansome Hustler suddenly regrets tagging in, as he tags Bo... *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...with a knifedge chop! *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...and another one! Bohemoth is still standing though and getting progressively angrier, so Ned changes tact. A quick ankle pick puts the 284 pounder off balance and allows Blanchard to sweep the standing leg from underneath him. As Bo tries to roll away, Ned pins him on his front and quickly peels off his right elbowpad, digging the point of the exposed elbow into Bo's spine! COLE That must be excruciating! Hearing Bo's shouts of pain Zack steps in and shoves Blanchard off of his partner, before being sent back to his corner. Ned waves him on his way, then reaches down and applies a Boston Crab. COLE Coming into this match, I doubt many people expected The Blonds to be picking Bohemoth to try and isolate from his corner, but they've been doing a pretty good job so far. Albeit with some shortcuts along the way. COACH Shortcuts Shmortcuts! You forget, Ned and Simon have a crucial advantage over Bohemoth. They've got inside knowledge. COLE Of course, I've got no doubts they've been in Christian Wright's ear ever since that confrontation on Reel Talk happened. Ned sits down on the Crab, but just isn't powerful enough to keep Bohemoth pinned down. And after a brief struggle, Bo is able to reach out and grab the bottom rope to break the hold. Blanchard typically milks the count a few seconds before breaking, then tags in Simon Singleton again. The Video Voyeur quickly kneels down on Bohemoth's back and 'rolls cameras' in the direction of Zack, drawing him into the ring. Chioda does his job and keeps Zack at bay, distracting him from another aspect of his job... "OOOHHHHHHHHH!" ...preventing lowblows, Singleton dropping a leg across the nether regions! COACH Looks like this feature might have to get an PG-13 rating. Not that movie or TV guidance ratings really matter. But, authenticity. Simon drags Bohemoth into position and climbs to the middle rope. Finally Chioda is undetained again, in time to see Singleton come off the second rope with a kneedrop to the lower back, before turning Bo over and covering... 1... 2... NO! "BO - HE - MOTH!" "BO - HE - MOTH!" "BO - HE - MOTH!" "BO - HE - MOTH!" With some difficulty Singleton gets Bohemoth back to his feet, then just dumps him on the ropes. Tag is made and Ned steps in, trying to pick Bo up with his throat across the top rope. He has to settle for a sort of wheelbarrow lift to get the legs off the canvas, in time for Simon to leapfrog him and drive his weight into the small of Bo's back! Ned then follows up with a Russian Legsweep, making the cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Hauling Bo back up, Ned sends him into the ropes with an irish whip. That all becomes wasting effort the moment he ducks his head however, Bohemoth coming to a stop just short and CLUBBING Ned between the shoulder blades! "YYEEEEEAAAAHHHHHH!" As Ned arches upright, Bohemoth backs into the ropes once more... ...but this time, he meets a knee from the outside from Singleton! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Simon turns out to the crowd and again 'rolls cameras', Molly capturing the taunt in a dramatic up-angle on the Siclopse. Behind him, Ned now charges at Bohemoth. With a duck of the head Bo manages to backdrop Blanchard however, sending him over the top... ...and although Ned lands on the apron, his trailing foot catches Simon in the back and knocks him to the floor! COLE Down goes Singleton! COACH Oh my god, oh my god... is the camera okay!? Luckily, it seems to be, as does Molly (thanks for caring, Coach!) as she gets out of harm's way just in time. Meanwhile Ned manages to drive a knee in through the ropes to catch Bohemoth and sets him up for a suplex to the floor. No way that's happening though. Ned has to wait for Simon to climb back up and help him, The Blonds now positioning Bo for a [i]double[/i] suplex up and out of the ring. Even combined they struggle to get Bohemoth up though and Zack sees his chance, running down the apron and scaling the turnbuckles on the far side. The Franchise then sacrifices his body as he dives out to the arena floor, managing to catch Singleton with an axehandle on the way down! Both Zack and Simon hit the floor with a splat, leaving Ned to be suplexed back inside by Bohemoth! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" COLE Big move for Bohemoth to turn the tide! But, right now he's got nobody to tag out to! COACH Yeah, thanks to Zack playing the hero and trying to one-up his own partner. COLE I really don't think that's what happened. Bohemoth rolls over and looks to his corner, to find just turnbuckles. No Zack, no nothing. So he does the same as Blanchard and drags himself back to his feet to continue the fight himself. Ned is up first and strikes first with a right hand. Bo comes right back with one of his own though, staggering Ned back three or four steps. Back comes Ned with a right... and Bohemoth rocks him again. Irish whip by Bo this time, catching Blanchard on the rebound with a BIG Powerslam!! 1... 2... NO!! With Zack now limping back to his corner, Bohemoth knocks down Ned with a clothesline. And a second. And, once Ned finally makes his feet for the third time with hands begging for mercy, a third clothesline! The Handsome Hustler is reeling and Bohemoth ignores Zack as he re-grabs the tag rope and offers the belated tag... Thumbs Up. THUMBS DOWN~! *slap!* COLE Blind tag? COACH Oh boy oh boy! How how does the Neilsen Scale go, anyway? Tagging himself in, Zack steps in to be confronted by an unhappy Meterosexual Monster. As the clear difference of opinions rages, Ned manages to get across to his corner and tag out to Simon Singleton who creeps into the ring. Bohemoth and Zack continue to debate between themselves... ...allowing Singleton to creep over and schoolboy Zack... 1... 2... KICK BY BO TO BREAK THE COUNT!! COLE Oh, I wasn't sure he was going to save him for a second! Apparantly not concerned by the fact he just got kicked in the ear by him, Singleton quickly scoops up Zack and holds him in place, offering Bohemoth a free shot at his partner! Simon urges Bo to "go ahead". But, Bohemoth just looks at him like he's crazy and goes to leave... at which point Simon shoves Zack into Bo! Bo shoves Zack right back at Simon, who again traps him and gives Bohemoth the option again now that Zack has "attacked him first". Still no dice however, as Zack performs a standing switch and grabs a waistlock... *SMACK!* ...Big Boot by Bo... ...into a Release German by Zack, DROPPING SINGLETON ON HIS HEAD!! "OOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" COLE Bohemoth did NOT take the bait and instead Simon took the ride with the UGLY landing!! Seeing his partner getting decimated spurs Ned into the action. Balling up his fists he runs at Zack with a wild double axehandle, which Zack is easily able to duck and spin into a waistlock. ZACK One more? BOHEMOTH Sure, why not? *SMACK!* ...Big Boot by Bo... ...into a German by Zack, this time with no release! Zack hangs on and rolls through with The Handsome Hustler, bringing him to his feet for a second rolling German! Clinging onto the waistlock, Zack brings Ned up one more time. He doesn't go up for another suplex though, instead jarred across the knee with an atomic drop, setting him up in the path of the charging Bohemoth... ...AND A MURDERLINE!!! "YYYEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Oh he took his head off! COACH He did not, quit exaggerating! Ned's fine! Look at him! Cut to a close up of Ned, right leg twitching. COACH That'a boy Ned, keep on dancing you crazy cat you! COLE I've got a feeling the end may be near. As Molly becomes the lone voice wondering what happened to the referee's five count to get one in and one out of the ring, Zack and Bo turn to each other and try to figure out who's going to finish the match off. Apparantly neither wants to give up that privilege, Bohemoth picking Simon slowly up while Zack crouches and keeps one eye on the awaking Ned. Still with half an eye on each other, Zack watches Ned up while Bo scoops Simon off the mat with a double leg. *WHAM!* FRONT SPINEBUSTER by Bohemoth... *SMACK!* "YYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" ...AND SCHOOL'S OUT by Zack!! Both Ned and Simon are out. Double cover... 1... 2... 3!!!! *DINGDINGDING!* "YYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" BUFFER Here are your winners... the team of BOHEMOTH and "THE FRANCHISE"... ZACK MMAAAALLLIBU!! Molly sadly turns the Siclopse off as Zack and Bohemoth stand up from their pinfalls and turn to each other. Not nearly as heated as before, the two seem to have gotten over their misunderstanding enough to exchange a wry smile with each other from across the ring as they stand over the motionless Beverly Hills Blonds. COACH Well, in the end, Zack and Bo were able to stay on the same page and pick up the win here tonight. But although The Beverly Hills Blonds won't get the blow-up they were hoping for, the seeds of doubt have been planted. Tension definately seemed to rise at times in this match. How long can these two stay on the same page in co-pursuit of the World Heavyweight Championship? COLE With people like you and The Blonds pushing the buttons, I'm not so sure. COACH And it'll be every man for himself January 27th, at AnglePalooza, in the Lethal Rumble. Sooner or later Michael... sooner or later. COLE That remains to be seen. For now, an impressive win by the makeshift team of Zack Malibu and Bohemoth, a bad start to Anderson Cup season for The Beverly Hills Blonds. With another exchange of looks, Bohemoth leaves Zack to soak up the adulation of the victory, happy with just another in the 'W' column. Zack watches him leave before he so much as climbs the first turnbuckle.

Any chance we can postpone until Friday people-who-are-not-on-vacation?

EDIT: Nevermind!

[i]Call me (call me) on the line Call me, call me any, anytime[/i] [b][color="#008000"]The Enterprise [/color]presents... In association with the [color="#FF0000"]OAOAST[/color] and [color="#4169E1"]TSM[/color][/b] [color="#808000"][size=3][b]REEL TALK[/b][/size][/color] [size=1]Executive Producer Theodore Moneymaker Produced By Simon Singleton Casting Couch Ned Blanchard Security CPA Directed By Molly Nerdly[/size] MOLLY (Voice-Over) Reel Talk is filmed before a live studio audience. "BOOOOOOOOO [i]*cannedapplause*[/i] OOOOOOOOOOO!" As the curtain rises on another episode of Reel Talk, we are on the set of Reel Talk! Intros aren't really my thing at the best of times. I'm sorry. Ned and Simon pick up their drinks from the bar, Ned slipping a sneaky tip into the barmaid's top and flashing her a wink as the hosts head towards the VIP Lounge of the set. High above, the LED screen with the total number of women Ned has slept with in his quest to break Wilt Chamberlain‘s record reads: [font="Lucida Console"][color="red"]CHASING CHAMBERLAIN 1,883 happy -- and very sore -- bitches![/color][/font] SINGLETON Welcome once again to the home of real talk, the... wait, is that right? Only fourty one in three weeks Handsome H, that can't be accurate, can it? BLANCHARD What can I say, the Christmas season... stuck at home, with too many close family friends and relatives. SINGLETON Some of the close friends must have been women, surely? BLANCHARD Yeah, but they only count once, no matter how many times they sample the yule log. I'm not one for fabricating figures. I don't need to. It's New Year's next week and The Handsome Hustler's going to be going south of the border... over and over and OVER again! ARRRRRRRRRRIBA! Think about it, they each have about twenty kids per family down there, it'll be like shooting fish in a barrel. Ned aims his 'rifle' into the distance and mimes taking a shot with a thrust of the hips. SINGLETON Those aren't blanks he's firing either ladies. Anyway, as I was saying, this is Reel Talk. Accept no imitations, this is the premiere in OAOAST talk shows, where we discuss the issues that really matter, FIRST. None of this 'inviting people onto our show the week after they appear on Reel Talk and try to discredit everything they said' crap that other, less scrupulous shows will try and pull. The best guests, the best issues, the best... BLANCHARD Screaming orgasm I've ever had! SINGLETON :huh: BLANCHARD (holds up glass) Seriously, this is amazing. Genniveve, a masterpiece. The barmaid blows Ned a kiss. BLANCHARD I'll have to return the favour to you sometime. *winks* SINGLETON We've got not one, but [i]two[/i] guests on the show tonight. And we've also got our good, close personal friend Christopher Patrick Allen and his security team on stand-by, incase they get any funny ideas. But, just incase, I want to warn the audience, in particular the first few rows, your health insurance may not cover acts of professional wrestling talk-show and to leave now if you do not have a competent lawyer. Alright, legal obligations taken care of, bring out the first guest... BOHEMOTH!! No need for canned applause as The Meterosexual Monster gets a huge reaction as he strolls out. Attired in a usually crisp suit and wearing his trusty, oh-so stylish orange tinted sunglasses, Bo smiles at the fans as he makes his way out... to be confronted by CPA. The Enterprise's head of security gives Bo a run down of the behaviour he expects him to follow on the show before he's allowed to pass. SINGLETON Bo, Bo, good to have you on. You're looking pretty dapper. Not bad at all, really. Simon straightens out his own suit jacket. BOHEMOTH Well you know, I like to look my best, even when I'm on som... BLANCHARD Yeah, yeah, that's whatever you were talking about for ya. Let's go ahead and brings out Zack shall we? ZACK MALIBU, come on out! Bo looks a little annoyed but not entirely surprised at the interruption by the hosts as we're taken over to the entrance again. CPA mouths away into his walkie talkie as out does walk Zack Malibu in a retro Thrillogy t-shirt and faded jeans, opting for the casual look which earns him some derisive looks from The Blonds as he amicably shakes their hands. Zack goes to sit down next to Bo, but The Blonds motion him over to the sofa opposite, so the two are facing one another. SINGLETON Nice of you to dress up for us Zack. And, let's just remind you now you're out here, we don't want any trouble tonight. So, now you're both out here, there's a lot of rumours doing the rounds, in the locker room, about some sort of 'challenge' you two have come up with. Tell us about that Zack. ZACK Well, we... BLANCHARD Sorry, Bo, did you say something? BOHEMOTH No, I... SINGLETON Hey, don't interrupt Zack there big guy. He's a former World Champion, he outranks you... isn't that right Zack? With a wry smile, Zack notices Bo now staring at him. ZACK This 'challenge', as everybody wants to call it, it's all about the World Heavyweight Championship. Whether it's because we've never had the gold before and want to hold it for the first time, or because we've had it before and want that feeling of being on top one more time, me and Bo here both have a common goal. To go back to the top. To be the World Champion. And we both know that only one of us is going to get there first. BLANCHARD Putting you in direct competition, right Bo? BOHEMOTH Well, I dunno about that. SINGLETON But sooner or later, you might have to bust out that Superkick one more time, right Zack? Like at November Reign. BLANCHARD Yeah, how IS your eye doing there big man? Neither Bo or Zack reply this time and as the mood gets tenser, Ned can be seen motioning off screen for CPA to keep his eye on proceedings. SINGLETON Alright guys, I can see this 'friendly competition' is having a little strain on the both of you, so let's skip the starter questions, shall we? Zack, what makes you think you can beat big Bo here to the World Title? What makes you superior to Bo? Don't pull any punches. ZACK Listen Simon, I've never said that I'm any superior to Bo. SINGLETON But... ZACK But nothing. BLANCHARD Very informative. Bo, same question. BOHEMOTH I don't have to talk about how great I am, Blanchard. I just do what I do in the ring. People can draw their own conclusions over who's better. Now it's Zack's turn to stare at Bo. SINGLETON I'm not quite sure what THAT was supposed to mean, but I like your style. Quiet, but confident. Are you as confident Zack? ZACK You don't become three-time World Champion without being confident. As Bo chuckles under his breath, loud enough to be heard by Zack apparently, both Ned and Simon are practically rubbing their hands with glee at how their interview is going. BLANCHARD Uh, anyone who hasn't already, we're going to give you a few seconds to call you friends and tell them to tune in. (pause) Okay, done? Now, Bo, let's come to you. This man right here, he's got a long and storied history in this company. Not all of it quite so 'on the level' as he has appeared to be recently. My question is, how long can you trust him to keep this competition so 'friendly', considering what's on the line. ZACK I think the real question is, how long can we trust you two to conduct a proper interview instead of trying to goad us into a fight? Zack stands up and the hosts exchange a quick look. Apparantly they're not about to back down on their own turf and stand up as well... their confident posture disappearing the moment Bo also finds his feet. BLANCHARD Now, hold on guys... SINGLETON Let's calm it down, we don't want you to come to blows... ZACK No, you want ratings, because ratings mean money and we all know that's what's important to YOU. So how about this? How about me and Bo show you just what this competition between us really means in the grand scheme of things, that being very little, and we show you just how much we can trust each other by taking you on in a tag team match this Thursday night! Let's see what that does to the ratings. After a quick glance in surprise at being put into a match without any say in the matter, Bo takes a step nearer to Zack which prompts the Beverly Hills Blonds to take an abrupt step ba... [i]*STATIC!*[/i] [img=http://eatourbrains.com/EoB/wp-content/uploads/2007/09/technical-difficulties1.jpg] COLE ...and, that's what happened. COACH Up until the point The Blonds destroyed Zack and Bohemoth, beat them within an inch of their lives, made them humble and left with all the fine bitches. Shame about the technical difficulties. That would have been great footage. COLE Yeah. Right. COACH Anyway, when the fuck does Deuce Deuce Bigalow get his own talk show? Seriously, what's the freaking hold up? COLE :huh: COACH I'm just saying what they're all thinking Michael! You can't fight public outcry forever man!

Well, I can think of one thing to say, who's up for marking the World and Cruiser Title matches?

Colt Cabana will debut working the exact same style as the rest of the roster and get lost in the shuffle. Matt Sydal will debut working the exact same style as the rest of the roster and get lost in the shuffle.

Anyone who wants to write the 'Fuck is MORE than welcome. If you want to give it a go and decide halfway through you're fighting a losing battle... well, you certainly won't be the first or the last.

Decision has, eventually, been made on the Tag Title match and the show is therefore complete. Or, as complete as it's going to get. Considering the time of year and all, a good effort from nearly all concerned. So, thank you. See you in '08 (start writing that 'Fuck, people).

EDIT: THIS NEVER SAID ANYTHING ABOUT A 6-MAN TAG TEAM TITLE MATCH. EVER. HONEST.

Silvervision has the Raw Anniversary set listed as a 4 disc now, with a special bonus disc: Not sure what store that would be, but presumably the same one that had the bonus 4th disc on the Hogan Anthology, which was WalMart? Anyway, it's out there somewhere. Shame, I was half-hoping it'd be the XV show the other week rather than the 1st show.