King Cucaracha

Agreed. I felt the same after the AJ/Rhino Last Man Standing Match at Final Resolution. Rhino chases AJ off backstage and they go into recapping the main matches, then have AJ and Rhino come back after about a minute, by which time you'd already stopping thinking "eh, that was an odd ending" and virtually forgotten about the whole thing. I guess that one made a little more sense in that Rhino had to catch AJ and drag him back. But still, the gap between the chase and them re-appearing again killed the buzz of what was happening.

Yeah, the backstory was Necro had beaten them up in the Tag Tournament the year before. CP Munk was used a couple of times before, Necro was only CP Munk for that one match.

Leon Rodez + Mystery Partner vs. Beverly Hills Blonds EDIT: *calls main event under intense provokation.

That's if I don't bust out a Haiku. At the moment it's 50/50.

The promo and video package last week almost sold me on Cena/Khali. Almost, but not quite. I could see it being passable with a stip attached, unless they pull the Attitude era trick of making it a No DQ Match on Heat, a straight singles match (with a decent chance of a non-clean finish) doesn't look appetising at all.

Odds on him returning as The Hurricane?

I'm sure he'd work well for a few shots, much like Christian. I don't think any of what I said would be a major problem unless he were to sign as a regular, which is doubtful anyway. He wouldn't be the draw of 1999 some people seem to think he still is and I don't think he's the kind of worker that'd draw the ROH fanbase's interests like Kobashi or Liger have. Looking over the roster, I can't see a real 'money' match involving him. Everything seems like more of a 'curiousity' than a legitmate big match.

I'm assuming you know about the new PPV deal?

Would be interesting to see what Danielson could get out of him too. Danielson, if healthy, would get something good to great out of Van Dam, providing he can reign in Van Dam's crazier stuff until the final stretch. As long as he works the arms and not the legs. Anyway, a little bit of a reality check. RVD in a promotion like TNA or ROH would have been huge 8 years ago. If he goes to either now, his whole drawing power of being this amazing daredevil who can pull off moves nobody else can is going to blown out of the water by the Jack Evanses and the Matt Sydals and the Sonjay Dutts of the world. And all he'll have left to fall back on is the whole 'I was great in ECW in 1999, huh?' shtick. He should go back to Japan instead, his current style would work a lot better there, plus he'd stand himself in much better stead if he ever wants to come back to WWE in the future.

Main event is in, finally! Huzzah.

!!! As we return to HeldDOWN~!, we're transported straight to the ring where Biff Atlas is standing, ready for his first match as a bonefide singles competitor. If you don't know why he's a singles wrestler now, you should really read the dirtsheets. Wellness, that's all I'm saying. Biff is sporting new aquamarine blue shorts with a picture of the globe on the BUTT and the word 'ATLAS' written across it in deep red lettering. Plus of course that trademark teeny-tiny hula skirt and ankle vine bracelets. For some reason, Biff also has the microphone, waiting for the signal that we're on air before beginning. BIFF Ladies and gentlemen... "BIFF!" "BIFF!" "BIFF!" "BIFF!" BIFF ...yes, thank you. Ladies and gentlemen, you may know me as a recreational bodybuilder or as a 'nutritional guru'. In the past, I came to you and I spoke about energy drinks and workout regiments. But that was then and this is now. You are looking at a new Biff Atlas! You see, I now have a much more important message to tell the world. I have a much more important cause to follow. And tonight, before my match, I would like to take a moment to talk to you all about a subject very close to my heart, Global Warming! ..... CROWD :huh: COLE :huh: COACH :huh: BIFF Global Warming is a very real danger that affects all of us and the planet that we inhabit. Now, our government would have you believe that this problem is just a creation of the media. They are dragging their heels on energy conservation. Despite that fact that in a matter of just a few years, the entire West Indies could be 65 feet under water! But, all is not lost! Global Warming is a preventable danger, so long as we tackle this issue head on! Every single person in this audience tonight can do their bit to prevent climate change. Everyone. Taking your computer off of stand-by, using public transport, flushing your toilets once a month... all of these minor things could have a huge effect on the future of this planet. The planet that I love so much. The planet. The Atlas! Help prevent Climate Change and change the world! Thank you! The crowd sit in stunned silence, unsure of how to take in that diatribe. Suddenly the pro-Biff signs disappear and the cheers are gone for Biff, as he removes his hula skirt and passes it to the outside. COACH Okay. That was... interesting. COLE It was something alright. I don't know about Global Warming, but this crowd don't seem to be warming to Biff Atlas' words here tonight. He will be representing the OAOAST here tonight though, because he'll be taking on WDW's latest acquisition and dare I add, the latest man to turncoat on the OAOAST. COACH And it could be anybody! I lost track of all the names being thrown around backstage earlier. COLE Yeah, it turned into a bit of a witchhunt in the end. I still can't believe Alix accused Terry Taylor. I wonder if he regained consciousness yet. COACH Who cares? BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, this contest is scheduled for one fall. In the ring, from Venice Beach, California... he weighs in at two hundred and twenty pounds... BBIIIIIIIIIIIIFFFFFFFFFFFFFF... AAAAATTLLLLLLAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSS!!! Biff salutes the crowd and gets a now mixed reaction. All eyes now turn to the stage as an awkward silence falls across the arena for a couple of seconds, before finally... "OOOOOOOOIIIIIIII!" The pumping beats of "Fix Up, Look Sharp" by Dizzee Rascal pound through the arena... and through the sliding entrance doors swaggers JAMIE O'HARA! COLE No way! COACH Unbelievable. BUFFER And, his opponent represents World Domination Wrestling! Hailing from Birmingham, England... he weighs in at one hundred and seventy pounds... "THE BIRMINGHAM BAD BOY" JJJAAAAAAAMMMMMIIIIIIIIEEEEEEE... OOOOOO'HHHHHHAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAA!!! "YYYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" The Birmingham Bad Boy jaws away at no-one or no-thing in particular as the marches down the aisle, brash as ever. Up the steps he climbs, vaulting in over the top rope and jawing now at someone in particular, that being Biff Atlas. Biff points the finger right back though, leaving referee Nick Patrick to step in between them. COLE Well, I must say, I didn't expect this. COACH Man. I expected better from the J-OH. To think, we used to be crew. COLE Ebonics aside, Jamie O'Hara, WDW's newest signing? This a major coo! *DINGDINGDING!* The bell sounds and O'Hara immediately dives towards Biff, looking to sweep a leg. Biff avoids it though, so O'Hara comes back to his feet and into a collar and elbow tie-up. With the clear power advantage, Biff backs O'Hara up into a corner, pinning him in and surprisingly giving a clean break. Unsuprisingly, O'Hara doesn't reciprocate though, pushing back on the turnbuckles and driving his feet into Biff's burly chest to drive him backwards. O'HARA WOT NOW!? EH!? WOT NOW!? Allowing Jamie to jaw away, Biff looks for another collar and elbow tie-up. A little naively O'Hara accepts and again he gets muscled right back into a corner, forced against the turnbuckles... and this time, Biff clubs him across the chest with a forearm! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COACH Do these people realise what show they're at? Biff clubs O'Hara with a second forearm! And a third! Whipping O'Hara across the ring, the reformed nutrition guru then charges in, looking to crush the Brit with an Avalanche. Up and over goes O'Hara though, rolling down Biff's back and waiting for him to turn around before connecting with a Dropkick! Biff falls back into the corner now and O'Hara dives onto the middle rope in front of him, fist clenched, ready to unload... "OI!" "OI!" "OI!" "OI!" "OI!" "OI!" "OI!" "OI!" "OI!" "OI!" ...with ten punches (honestly, there's ten, you can count them yourself) to the forehead! COLE It sounds like a soccer game here in Oklahoma City. COACH Obviously you don't watch much soccer then. Jumping off the rope it's O'Hara's turn to try an irish whip. An arm wrapped around the top rope prevents Biff from being taken for the ride though and eventually he fires a kick into the gut to force the Brit off of him. As O'Hara turns around, Biff then loads up the arm looking for a big clothesline coming out of the corner. O'Hara ducks it though, coming out of the corner himself with a big Busaiku Knee Kick to take Atlas down! "YYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" Out of the ring rolls Biff, looking to recollect himself. O'Hara looks to follow, but referee Nick Patrick manages to keep some order, preventing Jamie from leaving the ring while he counts. COACH How do you kick someone with your knee anyway? COLE You don't. It's just what it's called. COACH But it makes no sense. COLE Take it up with KENTA. COACH Who? As Biff continues to walk it off around ringside, the impatient O'Hara sneaks out of the ring behind referee Patrick and rounds the ring in pursuit of Biff. Busy conserving his own energy much like he was preaching earlier, Biff doesn't see O'Hara coming. Until it's too late that is, O'Hara springing off the ring steps and crushing the horror-stricken Atlas with a Somersault Seated Senton!! "JA - MIE!" "JA - MIE!" "JA - MIE!" "JA - MIE!" COLE Daredevil move from Jamie O'Hara, something which I guess we're not going to see any more off on HeldDOWN~! after tonight! O'Hara fires up the crowd a little before he collects and dumps Biff back into the ring. And in he follows with the cover... 1... 2... No! Backing into a corner, O'Hara props himself on the second rope, encouraging Atlas back to his feet. Over staggers Biff, a little close for Jamie's liking which earns him a Nikey right in the mouth! As Biff staggers back, O'Hara then tumbles off the ropes with a big Blockbuster! COLE Oh, SNAP~! Cover... 1... 2... No! COLE O'Hara is going to have trouble keeping Biff down for three, lacking a lot in the power department compared to his opponent. Leading Biff to his feet, a forearm finds the mark from O'Hara. A second. And a third. Biff looks dazed so into the ropes goes Jamie. But suddenly Biff comes into life and as O'Hara shoots back, he gets MOWN down with a clothesline!! "OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH Hahaha... wow! The bottom half of O'Hara's body landed about five seconds after the top half did! That's what I call a near decapitation! COLE That was a tremendous clothesline, for sure. Could be a tide turner. As O'Hara rolls around looking for an escape route, Biff stops him with an elbow, pinning him down... 1... 2... Kickout, right into a side headlock. COLE And Biff wisely slowing things down, trying to keep O'Hara grounded. The stocky Biff puts all his 220 pounds behind the headlock, trying to make O'Hara carry his weight. Atlas then uses the headlock to bring O'Hara up before whipping him into the ropes, pressing him into the air on the rebound with Flapjack, J-OH plummeting back down to earth face-first! The impact bounces him back up to his knees and Biff quickly grabs him, sending him into the turnbuckles with a whip this time. Biff follows up with the Avalanche he wanted earlier, waiting on O'Hara to stumble out of the corner and catching him around the waist for a Side Belly To Belly Suplex... 1... 2... Kickout! Back up come Atlas and O'Hara. It's Atlas who's in control right now, O'Hara sucking wind and not helped by a knee driven into the breadbasket. With a waistlock, Biff then deadlifts The Birmingham Bad Boy up and over his shoulder into the Canadian Backbreaker, the submission hold made famous by Jesse "The Body" Ventura! Biff squeezes down on the hold as Patrick looks up for any signs of a submission. COLE I'm hearing through my earpiece that... this is 'The Greenhouse Effect'. Cute. "JA - MIE" "JA - MIE" "JA - MIE" "JA - MIE" COLE This crowd still solidly behind O'Hara, despite his defection from the OAOAST. Perhaps these fans in Oklahoma want to give him a good send-off in his last HeldDOWN~! match. COACH Or perhaps they're just dumb. With the support of the crowd behind him, energy pumps through O'Hara's body all of a sudden. And he begins to fight the hold, driving his elbow forward a couple of times. No precision, but the elbows do hit Biff, enough to allow O'Hara a little room to manoeuvre, squirming around... ...and ESCAPING the hold, sliding down the back and looking for a Backslide! He doesn't have the power in his legs to take Biff over though, the pocket powerhouse bending over which brings O'Hara over his back and out in front, for a clothesli... DUCKED! O'Hara sweeps under the arm and runs on to the ropes, springboarding off the second rope and connecting with a twisting Dropkick! "YYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" COLE O'Hara connects! And the momentum may have shifted once more! COACH Come on Biff! I can't believe I'm cheering for you, but damnit I am so you'd better win! COLE Don't sit on the fence Coach. Both men are a little slow to their feet, meeting in the centre of the ring with O'Hara landing a kick to the gut. O'Hara wraps Atlas up and struggles a little for the suplex, settling for a Snap Suplex which doesn't have much height but enough behind it to send Biff retreating into a corner holding his back. The Birmingham Bad Boy follows right in, stomping away with his Nike trainers before hopping up onto the thighs looking for a Monkey Flip... but Biff just POWERS him off! Through to his feet rolls O'Hara but his run at Biff is lazy and he gets met with a boot up! BIFF AN INCONVENIENT TRUTH!! And with a shoutout to the world's foremost movie on the issue of Global Warming, Biff scoops O'Hara up onto his shoulders, into a fireman's carry... ...and gets taken over with a crucifix... 1... 2... NO! Rolling to his feet, Biff loads up one of his big guns again, throwing another clothesline. Again it doesn't find the mark though, O'Hara quick enough to duck underneath and wrap around Atlas with a waistlock. Throwing back elbows, the waistlock is broken by Biff, who tries to whip O'Hara into the ropes. O'Hara spins out though, connecting with a kick to the gut before kicking Biff up underneath the jaw, with a move reminiscent of Guile from Street Fighter!! COACH If he starts throwing electric, this could get ugly! COLE Not to mention the damage it could do to the environment. As Biff staggers backwards, out to the apron exits O'Hara. With a good grip on the top rope he springboards, soaring with a Crossbody... ...CAUGHT! And Atlas drops O'Hara down with a slam, right by the turnbuckles. Stepping over O'Hara's body, Biff makes a big circle with his hands and gives the call for the "EARTHSAULT!" which seems to have much the same set-up as a Moonsault would. COLE Biff Atlas, going up. I'm not so sure how smart this is. COACH Duh. It's Biff Atlas. COLE Ah, true. Scaling the turnbuckles with his back to the ring, Biff looks through his legs to check that O'Hara is still there while he steadies himself. Once set, he then backflips, soaring through the air with impressive form on the Earthsault... *WHAM!* ...AND CRASHING TO THE CANVAS! NOBODY HOME! "YYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" COLE O'Hara able to roll out of the way! As Biff clutches at his gut, O'Hara quickly exits the ring again and heads to the top rope himself. O'Hara faces the ring though and as Biff lies winded by the turnbuckles, SuperJay reaches the high-rent district and flies, tumbling through the air AND CRASHING DOWN ACROSS BIFF'S CHEST WITH THE 630 SPLASH!!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE SIX! THIRTY! SPLASH! 1... 2... 3!!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" COLE And Jamie O'Hara, signing out with a victory! *DINGDINGDING!* BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, your winner of the match... "THE BIRMINGHAM BAD BOY"... JJJAAAAAAMMIIIIIEEE... O'HHHAAAAAAAARRRRRRAAAAAAAAA!!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" O'Hara holds his ribs as his hand is raised in victory, The Birmingham Bad Boy shouting out to the world. Pulling away from Patrick he then exits the ring and tags some hands, before heading off out of the OAOAST with his head held high. COLE Impressive showing from O'Hara and I for one will be sad to see the last of that young talent here on HeldDOWN~! O'Hara, moving on to pastures new. I'm not so sure on his thinking behind signing up with Alfdogg and his crew, but we wish him good luck nonetheless. COACH Not too much luck though.

The Street Fight'll be a little late, I'll have to edit it in tommorrow morning. Just leave me the M/E spot.

WDW's newest superstar takes on the new and improved Biff Atlas!

Yeah, the whole idea of 'impromptu' matches goes against what ROH should be. Impromptu matches booked simply because people come to the ring and demand them is what RAW is for. That's not (or shouldn't be) ROH booking. Also, not a fan of people working twice a night (or three times in Danielson's case). It just makes it seem like they're making up for a lack of workers, even if they're not. The card itself looks decent, after seeing the 5/11 one I was a little worried because there's about five or six students/ROHVideo level workers on there putting over the regulars. It's just the whole impromptu booking and the idea of people working twice/three times for no evident reason.

Yeah, I'm not real excited about Jericho coming back as a face. It'd be good simply to have another recognised name in the company, but other than that, I've heard the word 'Assclown' enough to last five lifetimes from Jericho's various face runs. Maybe if he came in under the premise he had to come up with some new catchphrases.

Proposed name change. Revolution Zero, henceforth: "The New Midnight Carnival".

I'm calling main event, please. Sooner City Street Fight Leon Rodez vs. Christian Wright

This needs to go first, with a slot for a second promo a little while afterwards please. ------------------------------------- Backstage we go, 'cut to' if you will, to the HeldDOWN~! interview stage where my favourite and yours too I'm sure MARIA is standing by. MARIA Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome... *reads card* ...uh, BOHEMOTH! "YYYYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" The crowd in the arena erupt, which apparantly Bohemoth can hear as he smiles a little upon walking into shot. Wrestling logic, gotta love it. Anyway, Bo's smile doesn't last long even with Maria around, Bo lowering his orange-tinted sunglasses as he turns over to her. MARIA Okay, at School's Out, you are going be wrestling... *reads card*... uh, Tha Puerto Rican! And, it's going to be in Hell In A Cell! Are you scared at all? BOHEMOTH Excuse me? MARIA Well... Hell In A Cell doesn't very fun. Infact, it sounds a little bit like hell. In a cell. ... BOHEMOTH You know what Maria, you're right. Hell In A Cell is gonna be just that. Hell. Hell for Tha Puerto Rican. You see, I'm sick and tired of PRL. I'm sick and tired of hearing his whiney voice. I'm sick and tired of his catchphrases. I'm sick and tired of him running rule over the OAOAST the past five years. And I'm especially sick and tired of all the times he's hit me over the head with a steel chair in the past few weeks! Ya see, it started out with me trying to get my 24/7 Title back. Then, it became about payback. Now... Bo lifts up his shades so his eyes pierce through the camera. BOHEMOTH Now, it's all about HURTING Tha Puerto Rican! "YYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" BOHEMOTH And since apparantly, the OAOAST has seen fit to keep us from coming into contact between now and School's Out, I'm gonna save up every beating I'd planned for him between now and May 27th. Until then... I'll happily bide my time. I'll keep my cool, for now. Because when May 27th rolls around and that padlock snaps shut behind you PRL, there will be no escape. It'll be just you and me. And trust me, I'm gonna take out every little bit of frustration I have on you. I'm going to take full advantage of the rare chance to get you to myself, with no Lightning Crew members around to save you. And I'm gonna take the opportunity with both hands to make you SUFFER! MARIA What about the X-Division Title? Do you still want it? BOHEMOTH Don't get me wrong Maria, main issue or not, I will take that title. And it'll be over [i]PRL's[/i] dead body! "YYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Bohemoth lowers his sunglasses again and strolls off, as we go back to Sofa Central. COLE Yikes. COACH How can these people cheer for that? That's a death-threat, Bohemoth should be fired on the spot before he hurts somebody! COLE I'm sure Popick'll get right on it.

.:CUE: Trust Company, "Rock The Casbah":. The Nawlins crowd pop, not just because they've been waiting in the arena for a couple of hours now watching video packages and dark matches and are glad the show is finally starting, but because it's starting with the returning LEON RODEZ!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" Marching down the aisle, Leon bypasses the out-stretched hands of the fans with an unusual lack of response for his fans. Not breaking stride, up the steps jogs Leon, motioning to the confused looking Michael Buffer to hand him the microphone. Which he does, Buffer and referee Charles Robinson who clearly weren't expecting Leon's arrival quickly leaving the ring as The Silky Smooth One signals for the music to cut. LEON Theodore Moneymaker... bring your ass, to the ring, NOW! *THUD!* The microphone goes flying as Leon has said all he's about to say. Ripping off his t-shirt and throwing it aside, Leon beckons to the back. COLE And we're certainly wasting no time here tonight. Leon Rodez has called out Theodore Moneymaker, as he promised to do last week... I don't think we've ever seen Leon this fired up ever before. And you can't blame him after everything that's gone down with his little sister in recent weeks. COACH She made her choice. Besides, I thought Leon was supposed to be 'above' all this sorta call people out and kick their ass mentality? COLE This is differenent. The Enterprise crossed the line at AngleMania and now, they're going to have to deal with the consequences! COACH They don't have to do anything they don't want. Why? Because they're rich! And rich people... "You break the laws You hustle, you deal, you steal from us all Come on come on, lovin' for the money Come on come on, listen to the Money talk Come on come on, lovin' for the money Come on come on, listen to the Money talk Money talks" "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Well, here we go! Finally the wish seems to be granted as to Leon's relief Theodore Moneymaker does indeed appear through the sliding doors of doom. However, he's not alone, flanked by The Enterprise's Director Of Security and one third of the OAOAST 6-Man Tag Team Champions, Christopher Patrick Allen. And apparantly not in any hurry to get to the ring. Moneymaker produces a microphone from his smocking jacket pocket, laughing to himself as Leon waves him towards the ring. MONEYMAKER Hold on a minute, little man. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" MONEYMAKER Now, I knew you were coming here tonight to call me out. But, I have to be honest with ya, I wouldn't have believed it if I hadn't seen it for myself. Do you really think that I'm just gonna walk down this aisle and step into that ring with you because you TELL me too? No no no, you see, that's not how things work when you do business with The Enterprise my friend. Rolling his eyes, Leon lounges on the ropes through what's shaping up to be a lengthy monologue. MONEYMAKER First of all, you're lucky I'm even here tonight! Had I not important matters to attend to tonight, you can bet your last nickel that Theodore Moneymaker would have done the smart thing and just like my good friend George Dubya, he would have stayed the hell away from New Orleans! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Now that's just uncalled for! COACH I agree. If Mr. Bush could have possibly got to New Orleans, he would have. FOUR MORE YEARS! FOUR MORE YEARS! "TE - DDY SUCKS!" "TE - DDY SUCKS!" "TE - DDY SUCKS!" "TE - DDY SUCKS!" MONEYMAKER And that's exactly why! People in third world level states like this don't have the proper decency and courtesy to fully respect a man of my financial stature. But, against the best advise from my confidents, I manned up, I went to my private doctor, I had shots for every impoverish disease known to man and I brave the trip to this god-forsaken state! But I certainly didn't do it to answer your challenge, little man! Not entirely surprised, Leon makes a 'yakkety-yak' gesture with his hand and motions for Theodore to get to the point. MONEYMAKER Obviously, you don't have much experience dealing with wealthy businessmen such as myself. Which, coming from your kid of industry is no surprise. If you did, you'd know about a little thing that we in the business world call a 'heirachy'. You see, if you go down to Trump Towers, you're not gonna expect to find The Donald sweeping the floors in the lobby. He's gonna be right at the top, overseeing everybody else. If you went along to Microsoft's headquarters, you wouldn't expect to just waltz on in and find yourself in a meeting with Bill Gates. And as the Chief Executive Officer of The Enterprise, you're not just gonna get to go face to face with me, without working your way up through the heirachy. COLE What's that supposed to mean? MONEYMAKER You see, I'm a busy man Rodez. Too busy to be dealing with the likes of you, that's for sure! If you want a meeting with Mr. Moneymaker, you're going to have to go through the proper channels and I don't call walking out onto this show, on a network in which I hold considerable stock might I add, and demanding me to come and fight the 'proper channels'. Infact, I'd say that's threatening behaviour. Which is a breach in security. So, congratulations, because you've just reeached step one on the heirachy and you're gonna have to go through CPA! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" With a pat on the back from the 'boss', CPA suddenly begins to stomp down the aisle and to the ring! Leon doesn't back down though and seeing what's happening, he quickly slides out of the ring and meets CPA coming in the aisle with a flurry of right hands! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE It looks like we've got ourselves an impromptu fight breaking out here! Theodore Moneymaker has released the hounds on Leon Rodez! COACH Excellent! Rodez takes the fight to CPA but gets caught with a kneelift to the gut, stopping him in his tracks. Collecting himself, CPA ducks low and grabs Leon around the waist, bulling him backwards. And with Leon unable to stop the 280 pounder's momentum, he finds himself driven SPINE FIRST INTO THE RING APRON!! Leon slumps forward into CPA who deposits him into the ring and follows, leaving Charles Robinson no other choice but to call for a bell! *DINGDINGDING!* COLE So much for an impromptu fight... this is an impromptu [i]match[/i]! CPA and Leon Rodez, what an unexpected start to the show! COACH That's what you can guarantee from Theodore Moneymaker, value for money. The man just gives and gives Mikey, I don't get why people always see the need to badmouth him. As CPA puts the boots to Leon, the satisfied CEO of The Enterprise decides he's no longer needed and with a nod of the head he leaves his Directory Of Security to it. Which is fine by CPA apparantly, scooping Leon up and slamming him in the centre of the ring. Backing into the ropes, CPA follows up with a legdrop, leaving it draped over Leon for the pin... 1... 2... No! Frustrated at not getting the pin, CPA tries instead to choke the life out of Rodez... "ONE!" "TWO!" "THREE!" "FOUR! "FI..." ...which is illegal of course, forcing him to break before a disqualification. Holding up his hands to the crime, CPA backs away as Rodez rolls towards the ropes in order to pull himself back up. As he does though, he's being measured up for a custom-made clothesline from Allen. Pulling himself off the ropes, Leon turns around just as CPA comes charging in... ...AND BACKDROPS HIM UP AND OVER THE TOP!! "YYYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" CPA strikes his lower back on the apron on the way down, which bumps him on into the barricade, all of which applauded by the fans around him. In the ring Leon, still in his jeans mind you, fires up the crowd as he finally realises he's in a fight. COLE The format has been thrown out of the window, we've got a fight on our hands! We have to take a quick commercial break to keep the advertisers happy, but we'll be right back, don't go anywhere! [b]*COMMERCIAL BREAK!*[/b] We resume in progress, the fight back in the ring now as Leon fires off blows on CPA, who hasn't seemed to have recovered from the fall earlier on. The New Orleans fans are getting into it, although thankfully not [i]literally[/i], routing on every punch from The Silky Smooth One. COLE We are back and the battle rages on here on HeldDOWN~! CPA and Leon Rodez, in what is thankfully now something resembling a wrestling match, although neither man seems to be dressed for it. An unexpected treat here tonight. As yet another punch finds the mark, Leon sees that CPA is staggered and quickly turns on his heels to hit the ropes. CPA isn't quite as staggered as he seemed though and has enough wits about him to knock Leon down on the rebound with a clothesline. The crowd boo that one, only to do a quick 180 moments later as Allen misses the follow-up elbow attempt, pre-concerned with his arm as he climbs up which allows Leon to stun him with a Small Package... 1... 2... No! A wild clothesline attempt from CPA misses this time as both men get back to their feet, Rodez hitting the ropes again as he avoids the shot. This time CPA goes defensive, ducking his head. But does it too early and gets takes over with a Sunset Flip... 1... 2... No! Again both men rush back to their feet, but this it's CPA who gets a first shot in with a well placed knee. A clubbing forearm over the back later and down goes Leon, CPA finally able to buy himself a few seconds to get his bearings back before he hauls him back up and whips him to a corner. Leon hits the turnbuckles and nestles in the corner as CPA gets as full run-up from the opposite side, looking to crush The Grand Rapids Golden Child with an Avalanche... ...and EATS boot! Not literally, although with the force he hits Leon's foot, it's pretty close. COLE A little too much haste and not enough speed from the bigman right there. As CPA staggers away, Leon lifts himself up onto the second rope and waits. But with more time than he thought, he decides to go one rung up instead, soaring off the top with a Ricky Steamboat esque Flying Crossbody! CPA sees it coming but can't do much about it, except walk straight into it's path... 1... Kickout! CPA doesn't waste any time in muscling his way out of the pin... *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...but walks into a knifedge chop on the way back up! *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...and a second. *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...make it three! Striking the bigman doesn't seem to be yielding much success though and Leon realises his mistake, just as he gets grabbed by the ears and HEADBUTTED down by the Director Of Security! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" COLE Leon stopped the hit-and-move and tried to just hit. And, he paid for it. COACH No kidding. Lesson to all you kids out there, don't try and chop a nightclub bouncer, retired or otherwise. It ain't gonna end well. As Rodez checks his nose is still in place lying on the canvas, CPA drags him right back to his feet. Backing Leon into the ropes, a big forearm clubs down across the sternum from CPA, who now he's finally caught his opponent can really begin to dish out some damage. CPA lands another big overhand to the chest. And a third. Pushing Leon back into the ropes, Allen then sends Leon for the ride, catching him coming back off the irish whip with a big Diving Clothesline that cuts him right off his feet!! Leon comes down hard on his neck and goes right to it, as CPA applies the lateral press... 1... 2... NO! Sitting Leon back up, CPA has had enough of being given the run around and applies a simple but effective neck vice on The Silky Smooth One, pulling a page out of the albeit limited Zeus playbook. COLE It's worth pointing out, this is only Leon's second match back since October after that neck injury suffered during War Games. COACH And trust me, although CPA didn't have time to prepare for this match there's not a person in the locker room who doesn't know about it. That neck is going to have a bullseye on it for a long time to come. "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" The Louisana fans start to get behind Leon now as CPA leans in on the hold, twisting Leon's head until his ear is pressed against his shoulder. The fist is pumping from Rodez though and he's drawing on the energy of the crowd, somehow finding the willpower to fight to his feet, even with his neck at such a contorted angle. CPA keeps on twisting, but suddenly gets rocked with an elbow to the breadbasket! Another! And a third! Third time isn't the charm... but the fourth is, Leon finally freeing himself from the vice like grip of Christopher Patrick Allen and finding space to land a jab! A jab! A jab! A jab! Rodez turns, blowing the kiss, before turning back on his heels... *SMACK!* ...and nailing CPA upside the head with the enziguri! "YEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE MAMA SAID KNOCK YOU OUT! COACH BUT HE'S STILL UP! Yes. CPA is still up, but staggered by the enziguri. Dragging himself up, the effort from the first kick seems to have been wasted by Leon. So, he looks to make amends with a jab! A jab! A jab! A jab! Rodez turns again, blowing the kiss to the opposite side this time... *SMACK!* ...and this time, the enziguri fells CPA! "YEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE MAMA SAID KNOCK YOU OUT! Uhm... again! Cover by Leon... 1... 2... NO!! "OOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Not enough just yet. CPA may have limited singles match experience, but there's no doubting he's tough. COACH Of course not! And let's not forget he's one third of the 6-Man Tag Team Champions of the World, he's not some slouch and he's improving day on day thanks to The Enterprise. Leon retreats into a corner now, working out the kinks in his neck as he waits for CPA to get back up. Nursing a bit of a headache himself, CPA climbs back up, looking around for his opponent momentarily until he comes charging into view... CAUGHT! CPA blocks the crossbody, catching Leon in his arms and with a quick twist PLANTING him with a big Powerslam! COACH LIKE THAT! 1... 2... KICKOUT! Glaring at referee Robinson, CPA pulls Leon up roughly by the head. And it looks like it may be all (s)he wrote, as he gives the signal for the Dominator! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COACH Here we go! The move that won The Enterprise the 6-Man Titles, retained them the titles... this is the end! Simple as that! Gutwrench, CPA pausing for a second before he hauls Leon up over his shoulder for the DOMINATO... NO! Leon slips loose down the back and hooks onto Allen's arms, looking for a Backslide... AND GETTING IT... 1... 2... NO, TWO ONLY!! COLE Leon just unable to keep the 6'6", 280 pounder down! Back to his feet first, CPA swings... and MISSES with a clothesline! Rodez manages to duck the big arm swinging towards him and runs into the space created in front of him, hitting the ropes and soaring with a Flying Forearm. He connects, but almost bounces off of CPA in the process, watching from the canvas as Allen slowly topples, falling into the middle rope and eventually ending up slumped over it, to the excitement of the crowd. COLE Uh-oh. COACH Oh, what are the chances!? Forgoing the full jig, a little shuffle will have to do as Leon hits the ropes, shooting back and driving all his weight into the spine! "YEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE CALL THAT BITCH BOJANGLES! Leon fires up the New Orleans natives as he waits on CPA, peeling himself off the ropes. Lumbering around he walks into a boot, Rodez hooking him in a 3/4 facelock and looking to run to the corner to slice some bread. But, CPA isn't going with him. COACH HAHA! No way Ro-say! COLE Ro-say?! Digging his heels in, the bigman refuses to be dragged along for the Sliced Bread #2 and eventually drives his forearm into Leon's kidneys, blocking the move altogether. As he waits for Leon to turn around, CPA then loads up the big clothesline again. But again it doesn't find the mark, although this time it's due to Rodez pulling off a quick 360, driving his boot into the gut of CPA with a Rolling Sole BUTT! The kick has enough behind it to stop CPA dead in his tracks and double him over, Leon again hooking the head for the Sliced Bread... ...but, again, CPA is going nowhere... ...so Leon improvises, grabbing Charles Robinson by the collar of his striped shirt and pulling off the SLICED BREAD #2 from a standing position!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE FEEDBACK THIS~! COACH Wait... that's not fair! He put his hands on an official, that's an automatic disqualification!! Robinson looks a little flustered but doesn't call for the bell, merely straightening out his shirt and warning Leon to keep his hands off the merchandise in the future. Which falls on deaf ears though, the roar of the crowd drowning him out as Rodez exits the ring and heads to the top rope! CPA is just about within range and as Leon reaches the top, he makes sure to steady himself, before getting full purchase on the 450 SPLASH!! Hook of the leg... 1... 2... AND 3!!!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" *DINGDINGDING!* COLE He got him! What a win! BUFFER Your winner of this match... "SILKY SMOOTH" LLLEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOONN... RRRRROOOOOOOOODDEEEEEEZZZZZZZZZ!!! The fans leap to their feet, but Leon isn't quite so happy. Well, he's happy to get the win. But it's clear it's not the victory he wanted as he allows referee Robinson to raise his hand only briefly before pulling it back and clutching it to his neck. Glaring down at CPA, Leon manages a half a smile, as he notices the camera on the apron right by him and sends a very clear message. LEON One down, three to go. COLE Well, I think that speaks loud and clear Coach. Theodore Moneymaker talked about a heirachy and I think Leon Rodez is happy to go through each and every member of The Enterprise until he gets to the top and the man he wants to get his hands on, the CEO, one Mr. Moneymaker himself! Leon rolls out of the ring and heads off to the back, this time tagging a few hands even. Meanwhile, CPA begins to stir in the ring and soon notices it empty, no-one waiting around to be in his way.

Biff Atlas vs. Vincent Santana

Yay for Edge as Champion, but... Gee, that's original. How many times have they done this ending now? It's bad enough they have to keep repeating the battle royal/Royal Rumble 'both men's feet hit the floor' ending every few years, the odds of there being a draw in that or a Cage Match should be millions to one.

Not to be Mr. anti-Cena here, but Michaels can bump as well and as convincingly as 95% of the roster right now. Cena? Not so much. Plus, a lot of Cena's offence looks weak on normal human beings, so what the hell it's going to look like on Khali I dread to think.

I dunno, The Rock's voice wasn't as annoying as Kennedy's can be. And he didn't pull weird faces in between words, like Edge seems to like immitating when he's around Kennedy. I like Kennedy and I think the injury might be one of those things where you look back and it actually helps the character, just as it did when Austin got injured, just as it did when Orton got injured. Not to the same extent probably as Austin, but still. Kennedy can still be 'around' and have time to develop the character, without wrestling (and jobbing to Matt Hardy).

What's the deal with the referees suddenly making a big deal out of checking the shoulders before every fall all of a sudden? I'm not the only one who's noticed it, surely? Is it in lieu of anything (Michaels/Orton, Backlash's ending) or just a sudden decision for some reason?

I'm no law expert, but would speaking out against the company really be a sackable offence? Surely they couldn't fire Aries for freedom of speech. Or, does it class as something like bringing the company into disrepute?