Rawknight

Contract Signingz iz beingz da b0mb! TO clarify the rules i asked for: Pinfalls AND submissions can win. Don't want to deny Crow the chance to make me tap again. Escapes get you DQd for being a girlie running away type. Not sure if that affects the signing. Oh and... SPIKE AMZ GONNA FRY!

and your rankings STILL need some sort of strength of opposition weighting, and some bonus for showing says the 3 times #1 contender ranked 12th. Still better than ranked 16th behind at least 5 guys who aren't in the fed any more. Not that i disagree that Crow is #1 Or Grap is SOTM, cos that's both right. Maybe factor in some human numbers for a month, and then next month work on the previous month's rankings to keep it as pure statistical maths as poss? I dunno I failed statistics.

This is the first time i have EVER been drawn to quetion a markers decision, and it will be the last. I guarantee that. The rest of your match WAS your usual high standard, but seeing as Z described to me in his marking notes it in a way which made me believe it was going to be perfection I thought I'd have to read it first. And I found holes in it. What I think doesn't matter, I'm not a marker, but HELL if I'm driven to damn near quitting the fed through frustration I expect to be allowed to vent at least once. Do I deserve another shot? Aside from the fact that Z said I could, and consensus in chat (and I asked people - and that's not including the views of Dace who is probably biased towards me and has been a good dude to me while i've bee having this crisis of faith in my abilities) was that it was the right thing to do, to give me a rematch. I have at least two victories against everyone else in the world title division and other than you Thor is the only person with a singles victory over me on the WHOLE SJL roster. I have won my last 2 #1 contender matches and 3 of my last 4. Who beat me in the other one? You.. I've run you scary close TWICE now including a 1 pointer, and that's only ever happened twice in SJL history, and I'm prepared to put both my bump AND my gimmick on the line in what I consider to be a blowoff quality match. If Va'aiga goes I am prepared to enter my nerw character whereever on the card I'm placed, bottom or at least as low as the Euro division. I'd like to see new guys at the top of the card. Grappler keeps blowing people away, John Duran has earned a spot at the same way I did (showing lots and hard graft and steadily improving), Thorakanov is there and thereabouts and Spike.. well Spike's Spike but he's still capabale of fleeting moments of pure genius. Now do me the honour of the rematch, and show. You get to retire my favourite character, hold me down for a month AND ruin a SWL angle if you win; That's an honour you shouldn't turn down.

The sound of a shaking dressing room wall being have a fist crash down onto it echoes around the backstage area. Echoing pulses of sound fill the air as the cathartic smashing of gauntlet like fist on plaster fires out. Va’aiga: FUCK THIS SHIT! I CAN’T TAKE NO MORE OF THIS SHIT! Va’aiga stomps over forcefully to his seat, towel still wrapped over his head, the white fabric stained deep with the caked blood and sweat of a hard wrestling match. Va’aiga: FUCK that little SHIT!! A voice at the door. Voice: Media call for Va’aiga Va’aiga: IF you don’t want me to ram my fist down your throat and lynch you with your own lower intestine, I suggest you tell the waiting press to get the FUCK off my back. Clear? Voice: I’ll stall them for you, sir. Va’aiga: I am not taking press calls tonight. Voice: Fine sir. Va’aiga: I can’t TAKE no more. That miserable fucking bird has just stolen another fucking victory out from under my VERY nose, and I’m denied, DENIED the title which should by now be RIGHTFULLY MINE. I can’t TAKE NO MORE of this shit. Va’aiga flings the towel forcefully away and it slaps off a wall and droops down over one of the benches. Va’aiga: FUCK this shit. Fuck the fans. Fuck the boys in the back. FUCK EVERYTHING. That little squirmy piece of crap is gonna PAY. I can’t TAKE NO MORE OF THIS SHIT. Va’aiga stands and kicks out at a footstool sending the small wooden object arcing across the dressing room where it rebounds off a door and falls apart in a hail of splinters. Va’aiga: This federation is MY HOUSE. That ring is MY HOUSE. That belt is MY BELT. DENIED. DE-FUCKING-NIED AGAIN. I can’t TAKE NO MORE OF THIS SHIT! Va’aiga turns and gives the stare of blind rage RIGHT into the upper corner of the dressing room, where years of wrestling experience have told him the dressing room camera sits if there’s no cameramen in the room. Va’aiga: It’s all gonna end soon. It’s all gonna be over soon. I’m gonna lay this one down for all the SJL fans, all the boys, all the lunatics that run this little asylum to see. I hate authority. I hate bookers. So I’m booking this little payoff myself. It’s all gonna end. I CAN’T TAKE NO MORE OF THIS SHIT! Va’aiga steps closer to the camera and stares right into the lens, his gaze tearing a hole through the hearts of the viewing public. Va’aiga: I want my rematch. I will have my rematch. And THIS is how it’s gonna go down. 20 minute time limit. If I can’t get the job done in 20, it’s over. No DQ. Steel Cage. Escape is an instant LOSS. No running away, motherfucker. Pinfalls and submissions only. I WILL NOT TAP AGAIN. Title on the line. THE BELT IS MINE. My career on the line. THE BELT IS MINE. If you beat me one more time, I’m out like a blown blub, I got my money, I got my place doing power courses at the academy, I get by. If I win I get the world championship for the FIRST DAMN TIME in my long long career. Choker no more. Tag guy no more. Midcard no more. I CAN’T TAKE NO MORE OF THIS SHIT!!! BOO-YAH! And with that Va’aiga reaches round for a chair and with one swift motion knocks the camera clean from it’s housing. The last thing the camera catches as it arcs down to the floor is Va’aiga storming out of the dressing room.

I jobbed to a sig. move not a finisher, after going for a frog splash when i shouldn't have making me look a fuckwit for even thinking about climbing the ropes. Does that make it acceptable to try to job Crow out to my punch combo? flapjack? big lariat? I'd have FAR rather the leg psychology lead to me not being able to get out of the way of an Evenflow Moonsault. I will be Avenged or Retired. Edit: This post is the result of a STRESSFUL family funeral and may not accurately reprsent the view of me at full (or at least my normal 80%) sanity. I guess I need to vent at someone. And I KNOW Crow missed an Evenflow in mine, but the point is Va'aiga doesn't HAVE to top rope against Crow, Crow HAS to Top Rope against Va'aiga cos he can't NBC him. It was included as a hope spot and a crow pop. And anyone who says "the sharpshooter is a legit finisher" - listed finishers are legit finishers. If you have 7 legit finishers in your sig moves you have an overpowered moveset IMHO.

If spike wins his gauntlet and then beats crow for the title, it's #1 contender vs career. I'm not gonna totally write Spike off out of hand. Oh and run your promo PAST me Spike, I don't want to take a verbal shitkicking with no right to reply while I'm setting up a big match, K?

If i lose to you again and don't win the belt, I'm retiring Va'aiga, taking a break and returning in the SJL with a diffrent character, deferring any bump that may or may not be offered. I am NOT going up without winning the belt, and I am NOT going up with a character that can't be the best. Career vs Title. I'm serious.

As I mentioned in chat, I think in future in a handicap match the singleton should have less words to work with than the team.. y'know to make it a HANDICAP and all that rather than an actual HELP?

TEH MIXED TAG OPENER Viktor Tarakanov & Cassius Atkinson vs Manson & "The Rebel" Shawn Tybalt Thorakanov & Cassius. Possibly. TEH TV TITLE MATCH English Dragon vs Syndicate© ED. A guess. TEH COMPLETELY NORMAL MATCH David Blazenwing vs. Leo Breslin Breslin. Mmmhmm. TEH EURO CONTENDERSHIP MATCHZORZ... CON EL TWISTE! "Canadian Thunder" Chris Trepanier vs John Duran Duran. Close. TEH FRIGGING EURO ALREADY Charlie “Grappler” Matthews vs. Aecas© Grap. Match of the night. TEH PRAY TO FUCKING GOD SPIKE GAUNTLET MATCH “Hollywood” Spike Jenkins vs. Scott Solomon, Dan “The Phoenix” Caldwell, & “The Extreme Solution” Jonathan Clarke It's not a handicap match unless the singleton has less words to play with. Otherwise he has the ADVANTAGE of not having to make a match flow between different people. Gauntlet Matches Suck. Spike to win.

::Want to find out MY thoughts on the result. PM me and I'll be happy to tell you. Answers are Rated TV-18 VL:: Axis: Welcome back folks to the packed Staples Centre where it’s Main Event time. Suicide King: It’s been a fantastic card so far, Axis, and it’s only going to get better with the Maori Badass and the Antichrist Superstar. Axis: Crow and Va’aiga have faced a few times before, and it’s generally been honors even between these great athletes. Suicide King: And Va’aiga has come SO close to taking the title off Crow before, and he got MEGA upset about falling just short. If Va’aiga doesn’t win tonight someone is going to get REALLY hurt. Probably Eddy Long again! Axis: Let’s hand you over to Funyon for the formalities. Funyon: Ladies and Gentlemen the following match is scheduled for ONE fall, and is for the SJL WOOOOOOOOOOOOOORLD HEEEEEAVYWEEEIGHT TIIIIIIIIIITLE! Suicide King: I have to admit, Axis, I’m so stoked about this rematch. These are two of the greatest superstars we’ve seen in the SJL, and this rematch could be the crowning of both men’s legacies. Axis: I don’t see this match as being anything other than a brutal classic. And with the skills of these men, I don’t see it as being other than extremely close. Funyon: Introducing first, hailing from Rotorua, New Zealand, he tips the scales tonight at 285lbs, the Master of the Maori Drop and #1 contender to the WORLD TITLE… The Maori Badass… VAAAAAAAAAAA’AAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIGAAAAAAAAAAA The arena drops to darkness, as Va'aiga's shadow appears in the entranceway, dressed in his hooded training top with the hood down. The bass line of "Bring The Pain" by Method Man starts up and red strobe lights pierce the darkness of the entrance ramp as Va'aiga begins his slow walk to the ring, throwing a few phantom jabs on the way. The Smarktron shows images of Va'aiga shadow boxing and posing, cut with some of his biggest in ring hits - Maori Dropping Thor, Maori Dropping a ladder onto Tryst, the chairshot on Spike Jenkins, Maori Dropping John Duran, smashing Crow with a chair, staring off with Janus, smashing the disco ball with his fist to grab the contract inside, Maori Dropping Spike Jenkins... Inside the ring Va'aiga rolls down his hood and raises his fists to the crowd, then takes off his top and throws it to a ring assistant before firing off the Maori hand sign. Axis: Va’aiga looks focused as ever. Suicide King: Yeah but you have to realize that that focus could go at any second. Va’aiga lives on the edge of snapping at any moment. And Crow knows that and should be able to exploit it. Funyon: And his opponent, the reigning SJL World Champion, weighing in at 231lbs and hailing from Adelaide, Australia, via Anchorage, Alaska. He is the Antichrist Phenomenon, THIS IS CROOOOOOOOOOOOW Crow walks out into the entranceway and strikes his familiar crucifix pose as the crowd pops huge at the mention of his name. “Natural Born Chaos” by Soilwork has already fired up as Crow sparks up his cigarette and begins walking down the entrance ramp, slapping hands with the fans on his way to the ring. Crow relaxes against the ring apron and finishes his cigarette before stubbing it out and sliding into the ring. Crow stands on the ropes and strikes another crucifix, looking out into the crowd who respond with an appreciative round of cheers and Crow hops down and checks his gear before the fight. Funyon: Your referee for this match is Anthony Michael Hall. Referee Hall checks both combatants over for hidden weapons and signals for the bell, starting the match. Crow and Va’aiga stare off and circle. The two combatants, both experienced in facing each other, having faced off four times before, stare down each other, neither wanting to leave themselves open to the other’s usual opening salvos. Va’aiga moves in and goes for an arm of Crow, but Crow slaps Va’aiga’s look-see for an Irish whip away. Va’aiga backs off and beckons Crow in for a lock up, but Crow shakes his head and keeps circling, knowing that Va’aiga would easily overpower him in a collar and elbow situation. Axis: Slow start to the match here. Both these guys know each other well and neither is going to want to be the one to make the first mistake. Suicide King: Add to that the pacing of the match. Slow and steady will suit the brawling expert Va’aiga and allow him to overpower Crow. Crow needs to keep it fast so he can outmaneuver the big Maori. Crow backs off a little more, giving himself maneuver room and charges at Va’aiga. The big Maori sets himself for a shoulder block, but Crow anticipates this and slides down into a low dropkick, going for Va’aiga’s left leg. Va’aiga drops to a knee and Crow rushes past, looking to hit a second dropkick to the back of Va’aiga’s head. The kick connects and Va’aiga sprawls forwards, allowing crow to capitalize with a leg drop to the upper back of the big Maori and a quick pin cover. ONE! TWO! And Va’aiga kicks out as Anthony Michael Hall’s hand is rising, not even CLOSE to a three count. Axis: Probably a little early in the match for Va’aiga to be pinned. Suicide King: It’s the Maori Badass; he takes more than a couple of dropkicks to deal with. Crow rolls away from Va’aiga and stands in the same motion, allowing Va’aiga to stand in his own space. Va’aiga turns to face Crow and stares down the Australian superstar, and Crow responds with a sly grin and a charge, sliding down underneath a loosely thrown Va’aiga lariat and drop toe holding the big Maori down to the mat. Crow floats round amateur style and locks in a front face lock. Va’aiga rolls over, loosening the move, but Crow bridges to keep hold of Va’aiga’s neck. Crow extends the bridge then flips back over, releasing Va’aiga’s neck with a snap into an improvised cover… ONE! TWO! THR… and Va’aiga kicks out. Axis: Crow showing an impressive level of mat technique there. Crow may prefer a brawl, but knowing he can be out punched by Va’aiga in a stand up fight Crow looks capable of taking it to the mat and winning. Suicide King: Va’aiga really suffers on the mat against more intelligent opposition. Like for instance a rock. Crow stands first, backing off again to avoid a lash out from the big Maori. Crow leaps in and grabs for Va’aiga’s free arm, whipping the Maori Badass into the far ropes. Va’aiga thunders back off the ropes and Crow is forced to leapfrog, Va’aiga’s deceptively fast speed catching Crow off his guard for the first time in the match. Va’aiga rebounds off the ropes on the opposite side of the ring and Crow kneels and extends an arm, lashing Va’aiga’s chest with his the knife edge of his hand, and Stopping the Maori in his tracks. Crow stands to face Va’aiga and fires a second chop off, and Va’aiga’s face is crossed with a hint of a smile. Crow lashes another fierce chop in and Va’aiga extends his arm and near takes Crow’s head off with an overpowered lariat. Crow bounces off the mat after flipping 360 off the force of Va’aiga’s clothesline and Va’aiga calls out. Va’aiga: MY HOUSE! Axis: Crow has winded Va’aiga a little with those chops before, but Va’aiga has his world title match head on, and simple knife hand strikes aren’t going to phase the Maori Badass. Suicide King: I’m not sure smashing a sledgehammer across that chest could faze the big Maori. Even at the best of times he’s scary tough. Va’aiga grabs Crow roughly off the ground by his hair and whips Crow into the ropes. Crow rebounds back and Va’aiga knees the flying Australian hard in the chest, sending Crow down to the canvas again. Va’aiga launches himself into the air and splashes down across the young Australian’s back. Va’aiga turns Crow over and covers… ONE! TWO! TH.. and Crow kicks out. Axis: Well Va’aiga is going for a quick win here too. I don’t think either man here wants to let the other take any control of the match, and both would rather it ended quickly. Suicide King: Yeah but neither man is going to cede a quick victory to this opponent. I foresee a long battle between these two, and the Suicide King is ALWAYS right. Crow stands up slowly as Va’aiga lurks over him threateningly. Va’aiga grabs for Crow and hooks in a side headlock, looking to suplex the Antichrist superstar over. Crow block with his leg and hooks up Va’aiga’s head, looking for a suplex of his own, but Crow lacks the power to force the massive Maori over. Va’aiga back elbows himself free and floats round into a back waist lock, looking to lift Crow up with a German, but Crow reverses to a back waist lock of his own, stepping slightly to a side and lifting Va’aiga up, falling backwards and backdrop suplexing Va’aiga down! The crow lets out a massive cheer for Crow as the Antichrist Superstar takes his feet again. Axis: I don’t believe it King, Crow actually managed to suplex the Maori Badass over. Given the huge weight and height difference between the two athletes that’s some feat. Suicide King: Crow is defying all the critics here tonight. They said he’d never get Va’aiga over in a suplex and tonight he has. This is some showing from the Antichrist Superstar. Crow looks down at Va’aiga and sets himself in motion, bouncing off the ropes and hitting a lightning quick running leg drop on the fallen Maori. Crow breathes in and leaps up, running the ropes round a corner and flying off with a huge high impact flying splash. Crow grabs a leg of Va’aiga and goes to cover again… ONE! TWO! TH.. and Crow is thrown off Va’aiga as the big Maori powers out. Axis: Another pin attempt from Crow there, but the Maori Badass shows remarkable strength in powering out of the cover. Suicide King: Remember it takes more energy to break a pin cover than it does to apply one. That’s something people often forget in wrestling matches when they see a lot of early pin attempts and thinks “Why are they doing that?” Crow backs off to leave Va’aiga room to pick himself up off the canvas, and Va’aiga runs to face Crow as Crow charges in with another of his rushing attacks. Crow goes for an arm of Va’aiga looking to hip toss the Maori Badass over, but he can’t shift his weight enough to topple the big Maori from his feet. Va’aiga spins and fires off a snap back elbow to make Crow loosen his grip, and follows up by snapmaring Crow over and kicking the Aussie in the base of his spine. Va’aiga locks in a double chicken wing on the seated Crow and stands, keeping the hold on, and then falls backwards and blasts Crow with a bridged Tiger Suplex! Anthony Michael Hall drops to cover… ONE! TWO! THR. And Crow rolls up a shoulder. Axis: A high impact move there by Va’aiga. Both of these great wrestlers are pulling out some of their more high impact moves now. Suicide King: And both are going to have to if they want to leave this match with the belt tonight. Va’aiga drags Crow off the mat and whips him towards the ropes, but drags Crow back towards him, swinging an arm towards the talented Australian looking for a short arm clothesline. Crow ducks under the blow, using his height disadvantage to his advantage. From his position behind Va’aiga, Crow steps through and plants the Maori Badass down to the canvas with a Side Russian Legsweep. Crow stands up and looks down at Va’aiga contemplating his next move. Axis: Crow is looking to see what to do next. He has to be wondering what it takes to keep the Maori Badass down. Suicide King: He should look to be PUTTING the Maori Badass down! I know a good veterinary surgeon that could do that for him. Crow lets Va’aiga stand up and then softens him up with a series of quick lefts and rights, then whips the Maori Badass into the ropes. Crow stands against the ropes and Va’aiga, given a little extra time to regain control shapes for one of his trademark tackles. Crow, however, moves to a side to avoid the charge of Va’aiga and the massive Maori goes flying through the second and third ropes to the outside. The crowd calls out “¡OLE!” Crow follows Va’aiga out over the top rope, as Anthony Michael Hall looks down disapprovingly putting on a count. Axis: Crow is taking it to the outside here. This could degenerate into a brawl quickly. Suicide King: You know I thought it would be Va’aiga going to the outside first, but Crow has decided,”Hey, a few weapons might liven this up, and if it’s on the outside it’s all cool!” Crow grabs for Va’aiga as the Maori Badass stirs from his grounded, crumpled heap position and rams the big Maori cranium into the ring apron a few times, stunning the big Maori. Crow goes to whip Va’aiga, but the Maori Badass do-see-dos and Crow goes crashing back first into the ring steps, sliding into them to lessen the effect of the collision. Va’aiga grabs for a piece of the loosened steps, but referee Hall interposes himself, not allowing Va’aiga to strike Crow with the illegal foreign object. Va’aiga throws down the steps in disgust. Suicide King: The referee is clearly overstepping his bounds there. I mean stopping Va’aiga from smiting Crow with those steps, that’s just wrong. Let these guys brawl. Axis (with more than a little hint of sarcasm): Yeah no way a referee should be, y’know, REFEREEING is there King? Suicide King: You’re damn skippy. Va’aiga pushes Anthony Michael Hall rudely aside and moves in on Crow but Crow prepared himself carefully, using the referee’s stalling of Va’aiga to compose himself and BLASTS Va’aiga with DAS WUNDERKICK. Va’aiga drops like a stone to the protective mats. Crow looks at referee Hall and rolls into then out of the ring quickly to reset the count, staying on the ring apron and positioning himself to hop onto the second rope and Asai Moonsault down onto the fallen Va’aiga! There is a resounding crack of bone on bone and flesh on flesh as the Crow shaped missile hits Va’aiga, and Crow rolls away clutching his chest as Va’aiga lays there stunned. Crow takes a little time to recover and compose himself again and the young Australian grabs his New Zealander opponent and slings him back into the ring under the bottom rope. Crow follows in and covers… ONE! TWO! THR.. and Va’aiga kicks out again. Axis: What tenacity is being shown here by the Maori Badass, he took a couple of BIG Crow moves outside and he’s still kicking out of the pin attempts. Suicide King: He’s a hard man to stop is Va’aiga. You can hit him and kick him and stomp on him, but the big lug NEVER stays down for long. Crow looks down at Va’aiga and signals a twisting motion with his finger to his fans in the crowd. Crow picks Va’aiga up in a side headlock and walks backwards to the turnbuckles, seating himself first on the second rope then bouncing up to the top one, all while keeping Va’aiga locked tight in the headlock. Crow leaps off the rope and swings out, looking to hit Va’aiga with his Murderous DDT, but Va’aiga semi counters and throws Crow off him as the pair swing out, and Crow lands away from Va’aiga, slumped on the mat as Va’aiga drops down himself, looking exhausted. Anthony Michael Hall puts on a ten count on both men… ONE! TWO! THREE! Axis: Both men look spent, and I’m not sure either can stand. FOUR! FIVE! SIX!… Crow gets to his feet slowly… SEVEN! EIGHT! NIN…. And Va’aiga manages to stand up stopping the count. Axis: Man that was close. The world title match could have easily ended with both men being counted out there. Suicide King: I don’t think either of these two athletes is going to give up on a simple count out. Not unless they’ve been beaten to a bloody pulp and to within an inch of their miserable little lives. Crow approaches Va’aiga carefully, making sure the big Maori isn’t going to leap at him at any second, stalking the Maori Badass like a mongoose stalking his deadly snake prey. Crow steps back, looking to spark Va’aiga out with another Wunderkick. Crow waits for Va’aiga to extend himself to his full height and then lashes the kick out, but Va’aiga ducks and Crow’s leg goes arcing over the head of the Maori Badass. Va’aiga grabs a hold of the turned Crow and plants him to the mat with a MASSIVE backdrop suplex. Crow is left sprawling on the mat and Va’aiga floats over to cover… ONE! TWO! THR… and Crow lifts a shoulder. Va’aiga backs off to take a breather as Crow lays on the mat. Axis: Va’aiga has taken a lot of punishment up to this stage of the match. I think the Maori Badass is suffering under the weight of attack from the Antichrist Phenomenon. Suicide King: Do doo de do do. Axis: Oh no, not this again. You’re not going to do this every time I say phenomenon Suicide King: Do doo de do. Axis: You are. Fine. While the commentators bicker, Va’aiga has summoned enough energy again to go for Crow again. Va’aiga goes for an arm of the Antichrist Superstar and whips Crow into the ropes, Spearing him down with a trademark tackle. Va’aiga goes for the mount position and fires off a series of stiff right hands into the head of the grounded Crow. Anthony Michael Hall warns off Va’aiga for using the closed fist and Va’aiga stands up and BARKS at him to break off. Crow slides away and gets to his feet and when Va’aiga turns down to find him, Crow blindsides his with a pair of punches and a snapped off dropkick, staggering the big Maori backwards. Crow grabs Va’aiga’s leg and whips it round, taking Va’aiga down, and then holding the leg up, Crow steps through and locks in a figure-four leg lock. The Crowd lets out a round of whoos to mark the use of Ric Flair’s favorite hold as Crow cinches it in. Axis: The deadly figure four. This could be the move that finishes Va’aiga off! Can Va’aiga escape the clutches of the Antichrist Phenomenon? Suicide King: Do doo de do do, de do do, de do do, de do do doody do do doo do! Axis: Are you done. Suicide King: I’m done! Crow torques in the hold and Va’aiga’s face is contorted into a scowl of pain, as the figure four is locked in as tight as Crow can, given the difference in size between the massive legs of Va’aiga and the smaller pins of the Australian. Crow’s face is the picture of concentration s he attempts to focus his thoughts on placing as much pain on the massive Maori as possible. Va’aiga tries to roll the hold over, reversing the pressure, but Crow keeps the hold firm still, pulling against the roll of the Maori and keeping it locked in tight. Axis: I’m not sure Va’aiga can break this hold. He’s fighting the effects of the figure four, but it’s going go force him to tap out eventually. Suicide King: I’m not sure the big Maori has tapped out yet in his SJL career. You have to bludgeon him to death rather than do anything subtle to make him quit. Axis: Va’aiga doesn’t know the meaning of the word quit. Suicide King: Or the word vermisilitude. Crow pounds on the mat trying to draw strength from the gathered crowd, as the noise from them grows to a crescendo, split between the chants of “CROW! CROW! CROW!” and “VA-ING-UH!” Crow tries to crank up the pressure on the hold by drawing himself up t a sitting position and then flinging his 230lb frame down back to the mat, wrenching hard on Va’aiga’s trapped legs. Va’aiga tries again to roll the hold, and again Crow fights the roll and keeps the Maori Badass trapped inside the dangerous hold. Axis: Va’aiga is trapped in a VERY bad situation. I think that if Crow can keep this hold pressed in for a few more precious seconds the Maori Badass may be forced to tap. Suicide King: It’s keep the title time for the Antichrist Superstar. Get the champagne out. Crow draws himself up to a seated position, and preparing himself to force himself back down and wrench the hold tighter, but Va’aiga draws on HIS inner strength and fighting spirit, and sits up a little himself. Crow slaps Va’aiga across the chest to attempt to force the Maori Badass back down to the mat, but Va’aiga grits his teeth and doesn’t budge. Crow tries another slap and AGAIN the Maori Badass doesn’t budge an inch. Crow slaps Va’aiga again and Va’aiga bellows out… Va’aiga: MY HOUSE! And Va’aiga wrenches Crow over and reverses the hold into an Indian Deathlock! Va’aiga screams out as he tries to make Crow tap with the reversed hold, but Crow desperately reaches out for the ropes, and due to the roll Crow is near enough to grab hold of them and Anthony Michael Hall calls for the break. Axis: Va’aiga dodged a figure four shaped bullet there. Crow had to expend a lot of energy there and it couldn’t quite finish the Maori Badass off. Suicide King: It was expending a lot of energy to cause a lot of pain. I wonder what the lasting effects of that move will be. Crow picks himself up as Va’aiga is shaking his legs down, attempting to get the blood back flowing through them fully. Crow charges at Va’aiga and aims a dropkick at the leg of the Maori Badass, but Va’aiga moves out of the way and Crow slides to the outside. Va’aiga moves to the edge of the ring to look to follow Crow, but Crow grabs Va’aiga by the ankles and trips the massive Maori up. Crow hops onto the ring apron and using the top rope as a launch pad, slingshots over the top rope and flips over into the ring, hitting Va’aiga with a slingshot rolling senton! Crow drags Va’aiga into position and climbs to the top rope, looking out into the wildly appreciative crowd and striking his familiar crucifix pose. Axis: This could be it. Crow’s positioned for the Evenflow Moonsault. This move has put down many a talented opponent, and Va’aiga is probably too large to Natural Born Chaos in any effective manner. Suicide King: It’s a move that’s beaten Va’aiga before, Axis. The noise of the fans builds to a height, with women screaming their love for Crow and kids chanting the Antichrist Superstar’s name out. Crow breathes in slowly, in and out, absorbing the atmosphere of the arena as he psyches himself up to deliver the killer blow. Va’aiga lays there, spark out below where Crow is and the Antichrist Phenom leaps off the top rope in a graceful arc and…. MISSES AS VA’AIGA ROLLS OUT THE WAY! The crowd turns and chants for “VA-ING-UH” as Crow lies the on the floor while Va’aiga stands slowly, fists shaking, summoning up the full strength of his toukon – his fighting spirit! Axis: Va’aiga is getting himself together… Va’aiga is psyching himself into a frenzy… Suicide King: Va’aiga is either going to explode on Crow, explode in his pants or just explode period. It’s going to be violent, messy or just plain old spontaneous combustion! Va’aiga stands and grabs for an arm of the fallen Crow, dragging the Australian Champion to his feet. Va’aiga whips Crow into the ropes and chases him, moving in an ungainly fashion with the damage of the figure four still affecting him. Va’aiga fails to catch Crow looking for his running reverse tackle and instead spins and waits for Crow to rebound at him, driving Crow down into the mat with a double leg takedown. Axis: Va’aiga’s sprint speed has been crippled by the deadly leg lock applied by Crow earlier. Suicide King: It’s a shock that Va’aiga hasn’t been crippled by it. The figure four is a lethal little move there. Va’aiga picks up Crow again and grabs Crow round the waist, spinning and taking Crow with him, planting the Antichrist down with a massive Belly to Belly suplex. Va’aiga stands, thinking about covering, but instead limits himself to a series of careful stomps, flinching a little as he delivers them, but happier to inflict damage to Crow than he is worried about hurting himself. Va’aiga lifts Crow off the mat again and forces him into a standing head scissors, before wrenching the talented Crow up onto his broad Maori shoulders and then POWERING Crow down to the mat with a FAT release powerbomb! Crow judders to a halt as he bounces a little along the canvas and Va’aiga calls out again… Va’aiga: BOO-YAH! Axis: Va’aiga is closing in for the kill. He can feel the power coursing through his veins again. If I were in Crow’s position I’d be very worried at this stage. Suicide King: You keep changing your allegiance as to who’s going to win Axis. That’s just unprofessional for a commentator. Axis: I’ve seen you do it. Suicide King: Yeah but that’s because Suicide King is always right! Va’aiga looks out to the crowd and draws his finger slowly across his throat, signaling that it’s nearly time for the end of the match. He adds this with a call out to the massed audience… Va’aiga: DROP! Va’aiga looks down at the fallen Crow and picks him up from his starfish position on the canvas. Va’aiga kicks Crow firmly in the stomach and wrenches the talented gothic warrior up across his chest, backing off a few steps into the ropes. Va’aiga steps out from the ropes, but with the effects of the figure four still causing his legs to ache, the final move as Va’aiga sends Crow down to the mat with more of a WALKING MAORI DROP! Va’aiga hooks a leg… ONE! TWO! THR….. NOOOO! Crow lifts a shoulder and the crowd EXPLODES into a round of cheers for Crow. Axis: Wow! Crow kicked out of that amazing Maori Drop! Suicide King: Yeah but it didn’t look like a PROPER Running Maori Drop. I’m Not Sure Va’aiga got the full force of that move in, and I AM sure if he had have Crow would have been finished. It’s all academic now though. Va’aiga gets to his feet, still moving a little slowly, and beckons Crow up with a hand gesture. Crow stumbles up to his feet, still recovering from the power of that last Maori Drop. Crow staggers a little as Va’aiga draws back his massive meat hook left hand and blasts Crow with a huge left cross. Crow staggers a little more and Va’aiga draws back and fires off the left hand again. Crow is forced to back up a little, rolling away from the impact of the blows, and Crow is staggered nearly to the ropes by a third huge left hand strike. Crow wraps himself against the ropes for steadiness as Va’aiga kisses his right hand and lines up the Antichrist Superstar in his sights. Va’aiga fires off a HUGE right hook and Crow bundles over the top rope, landing in a crumpled heap on the outside. Despite the protestations of Anthony Michael Hall, Va’aiga follows him out, stepping over the top rope. Axis: Va’aiga looking to press home his advantage by going to the outside again here. Suicide King: The Maori is little more than a street fighter, Axis, and he’s gonna put himself into a situation where brawling is the law. It’s a smart move from Va’aiga, and you won’t find me admitting one of them every day. Va’aiga picks Crow up off the protective matting on the outside and drags him by the hair to the commentary table. Va’aiga smashes Crow’s head off the table edge, drawing blood from the forehead of the Antichrist Phenom, and begins stripping the monitors off the table, flashing the infamous “I’m gonna hurt you” grin across his face. Axis and Suicide King scatter as the fourth and final monitor is set skidding across the ring area, Va’aiga picks Crow up over one shoulder and slams him forcefully onto the table. Anthony Michael Hall waves off Va’aiga trying desperately to stop him from following up on the move, but Va’aiga just grins and steps up onto the table. Axis: STOP! Don’t do it Va’aiga! You’ll break the poor boy in two! Suicide King: How am I even supposed to commentate if he’s intent on wrecking our table? Axis: I don’t think Va’aiga cares about the table… I don’t think Va’aiga cares about ANYTHING… Va’aiga, now standing on the table, picks up Crow and turns the Antichrist Phenom’s back to him. Va’aiga wraps an arm around Crow’s neck and holds the SJL Champion in position for a few seconds, looking out across the crowd before CRASHING Crow and himself through the table with a massive Inverted DDT! The crowd explodes into a massive “HOLY SHIT!” chant as Va’aiga wraps his legs around Crow’s abdomen, locking in the Pacific Stretch with a cobra-like grip! Axis: The Maori Badass busting out a new move here; ever since the Maori Badass has been working out with Danny Williams as part of the Unholy Trinity he’s been promising to bust out some new stuff. Add to that is the fact that Va’aiga is a brutal, BRUTAL athlete. He has no fear, and no respect for his opposition, and you have one mean package. Suicide King: He broke my table. He has no respect for quality furniture. Va’aiga wrenches back on Crow, pulling on his neck and twisting the Antichrist Phenom’s spine as the pair lie on the outside, splinters of the destroyed table surrounding them. Anthony Michael Hall, reaching 7 on his Double Count Out count stirs Va’aiga into breaking the hold, slinging Crow in under the bottom rope and following in quickly himself. Va’aiga covers Crow… ONE! TWO! THR… and Crow kicks out! Axis: MY GOD! Crow has gone through a table! Crow has had his spinal vertebrae wrenched in direction that they have never been meant to go and the Antichrist Superstar STILL has the energy left to kick out. Suicide King: Crow is tougher than boot leather, Axis. You just can’t keep a good Satanist down. Va’aiga stands and brushes himself down, growling at the grounded Crow. Drawing a deep breath and summoning the last reserves of energy he has Va’aiga lifts up Crow again and whips him into the ropes, setting up for a flapjack as Crow rebounds, but Crow ducks under and Va’aiga is left standing as Crow rushes past and rebounds off the ropes on the other side. The crowd cheers Crow as he leaps up trying to bundle Va’aiga over with a high cross body block and Va’aiga… catches him. Va’aiga jumps and drops forward with the Maori Drop!!! Va’aiga’s ribcage comes crashing down onto Crow’s body and Va’aiga hooks a leg to strengthen the pin. ONE! TWO! THR… NO! And Crow juuuuuuust kicks out. Blood stains the mat near where Crow kicked out and the Antichrist Superstar lies there sucking wind as Va’aiga composes himself again. Axis Axis: I thought Crow was spent… that last little shot, that desperation move there could just have been enough to totally expend Crow’s energy. Suicide King: Crow has had so many chances to win this match, but Va’aiga has taken control and is just manhandling Crow. I just wonder how much energy the Maori Badass has left himself. I mean beating on Crow has to be tiring, and earlier on he took a LOT of damage himself. Va’aiga stands slowly and takes slow deliberate breaths, trying to keep himself together as he waits for Crow to stand up. Va’aiga grabs for Crow as the Australian stands and wrenches him up across the big Maori chest, backing Crow up into the ropes. Axis: This is it. Running Maori Drop… Va’aiga takes a few steps forward, but Crow wriggles free and slips behind Va’aiga! The crowd cheers! Crow pushes Va’aiga away a couple of steps then closes in for a backdrop suplex, looking to repeat his earlier feat. Fatigue kicking in, draining the remarkable power Crow showed in the early stages of the match, Crow can’t quite lever Va’aiga over and Va’aiga slips out of Crow’s grasp into a go-behind. Va’aiga lifts Crow a little, looking for another Massive German suplex, but Crow slides his leg inside Va’aiga’s, stopping himself from being thrown. Va’aiga changes tack and reaches round Crow’s neck with an arm, bending the Antichrist Phenomenon backwards. Va’aiga breathes in and looks round the crowd… Suicide King: What’s he gonna do Axis? Axis: He could be looking for a second Pacific Stretch, but I don’t know King. Va’aiga seems to have a deeper bag of tricks than ever before today. Va’aiga grabs hold of Crow’s wrestling gear with his other hand and looks out across the arena, near silent in expectation of the move to come. Va’aiga wrenches Crow up suplex style, depositing the 230lb star over his shoulder and in the same motion sitting out, driving Crow head and shoulders first down to the mat between Va’aiga’s legs!! Va’aiga flops on top of Crow to cover as the Antichrist Superstar is left spark out from the move, and Anthony Michael Hall puts on a count… ONE! TWO! THREE!!!! Va’aiga rolls off Crow and slumps beside him, regaining a little energy. Axis: Va’aiga wins! Va’aiga is the new SJL Champion. Suicide King: Yeah but Crow can come out of it with his head held high. Axis: That’s right King, Crow dominated a man far his better in size and power for a lot of the match in a way few men can claim they’ve ever dominated the Maori Badass, and at the end he took a superhuman level of punishment before finally falling to the move which Va’aiga calls the Pacific Driver. Suicide King: I think it’s the influence of Deathwish Danny Williams and maybe even Dace Night that told, Axis, and if it wasn’t for the training with the other members of the Unholy Trinity, I don’t think Va’aiga would have had enough in him to beat Crow. Axis: Never the less, Va’aiga is our new champion, and let’s go over to Funyon for the formalities. Funyon: Your winner and NEW SJL CHAMPION OF THE WOOOOOOOOORLD… THE MAORI BADASS VAAAAAAAAAAAAA’AAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGAAAAAAAAA! Anthony Michael Hall lifts Va’aiga’s arm and hands him the belt as the Maori Badass slowly walks out, breathing heavily, worn out from the effects of the brutal match he has just survived. Va’aiga ties the belt round his bicep and walks past the fans, letting them slap him on his back as he walks through the entranceway. Meanwhile in the ring Crow stand to a MASSIVE round of applause and wipes his forehead clear of the blood that’s pooling on there. Axis: We have a new SJL Champion, we’ve had a great night of entertainment, and for the Suicide King, this is Axis saying goodnight.

OK SS.. This is REAAAAALY important. If we have seperate shops and people want to buy your stuff, the profits AREN'T going to the SJL account, the money ISN'T being sent to Thoth and we AREN'T getting our board fees paid for. We need to combine accounts or something

HVill Thugg BSc (UMD) ? How DOES it feel to have letters after your name?

Dillon's plancha wiped out Duran and himself *covers tracks rapidly* K you gotta forgive me ONE confuse-o-rama spot. Chokeslam/German is a Taue/Kawada spot. Double Spear is Haka Boyz spot, as is the Super Decapitator (which is the originial Decapitator, the one where the Axe kick is delivered from standing is to compensate for Dace not being a flyer) Oh and from writing.. Duran NEEDS a nickname.

Woohoo at me winning against a showing opponent! I'll get you next time Crow.... neeeeeeeeeeeext tiiiiiiiiiime *shakes fist in evil villan fashion* Not 100% sure I got the mechanics of your finish right, Manson. It IS 6am while i'm reading your losing match, but how does Duran get Va'aiga out the ring? Otherwise.. I like! Hope you like my little Call of Cthulu reference in my match I'll read the rest of the card laters... congrats to Crow (again)

Fans = JLers? Chris Card = Jack Nicholson bitching out the unnamed side court people for calls against the heel team until he gets told to shut up by stadium officials Natasha = The female fan with outstandingly bouncy breasts that gets on camera during any remotely boring break in play I also nominate Cutthroat to get hit by a ball in the face at some stage.

Funyon: The following contest is a Chairshot match scheduled for one fall and is for the SJL WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP! Axis: It’s a simple yet brutal match King. Va’aiga’s not one for glass tubes, barbed wire and weed whackers. All you get to do in this match is pummel your opponent to death with cold hard steel. Suicide King: And there’s a chance for some proper wrestling in there to, however unlikely that may sound coming form these two guys. The arena drops to darkness, as Va'aiga's shadow appears in the entranceway, dressed in his hooded training top with the hood down. Funyon: Introducing first, the challenger. He hails from Rotorua, New Zealand and weighs in tonight at two hundred and eighty five pounds. He is the Maori Badass, the Beast from the South Pacific and the number one contender to the SJL Title… this is VAAAAAAAA’AAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIGAAAAAAAAAA SLAM! DUH DUH DUH! DUH DUH DUH! MAKE NOISE BE BOYS! Pryo fires off as the first "SLAM!" of "Slam (The Remix)" by Onyx & Biohazard hits, and the crowd launches into a massive cheer. Gold strobe lights pierce the darkness of the entrance ramp as Va'aiga begins his slow walk to the ring, throwing a few phantom jabs on the way. SLAM! DUH DUH DUH! DUH DUH DUH! LET THE BOYS BE BOYS! SLAM! DUH DUH DUH! DUH DUH DUH! MAKE NOISE BE BOYS! The Smarktron shows images of Va'aiga shadow boxing and posing, cut with some of his biggest in ring hits - Maori Dropping Thor, the chairshot on Spike Jenkins, Maori Dropping John Duran, staring off with Janus, Maori Dropping Spike Jenkins... Inside the ring Va'aiga rolls down his hood and raises his fists to the crowd, then takes off his top and throws it to a ring assistant before firing off the Maori hand sign. Axis: Va’aiga looks ready for a long fight tonight King. The Maori Badass exudes quiet confidence. Suicide King: We all know he’s a ball of rage ready to uncurl at any moment. And Crow’s got under his skin before… maybe he’ll snap again tonight. Axis: If you were in Crow’s shoes, would you WANT Va’aiga to snap? Suicide King: If it helped me retain my title, yes, and DAMN the consequences. Funyon: And his opponent, and the reigning SJL World Champion… he weighs in tonight at two hundred and thirty one pounds and hails from Adelaide, Australia via Anchorage, Alaska. He is the Cigarette Smoking, Light Tube Smashing Antichrist Phenomenon, ladies and gentlemen this is CROOOOOOOOOOOOOOW! Crow walks into the entranceway, belt strapped around his waist, cigarette lit in his mouth. “Natural Born Chaos” by Soilwork fires up and Crow strides down the entrance ramp to huge cheers and applause. Crow stubs out his cigarette on the ring post and slides into the ring, standing on the second turnbuckle in the crucifix pose he is known for, staring out into the crowd. DO I DARE TO TRUST MY FAITH RIGHT NOW AS IT FOOLS MY MIND SOMEHOW REBORN – ONCE AGAIN ERASE - AND REPENT YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN! Crow crosses to the other side of the ring and hits the crucifix again, making sure all sides of the arena get chance to see him, before returning to the center of the ring and handing his belt to Funyon for safe keeping. Funyon shows the belt to the crowd as referee Matthew Kivell checks both combatants over for concealed weapons. Axis: Who’d back against Crow tonight? He’s seen off the SJL’s hottest stars to keep that title around his waist. He’s had to beat the extreme atheist Atlas, the satanic Dace Night and the gothic warrior Manson. Suicide King: And tonight he gets a different test in Va’aiga. Someone who cares nothing for religious attitudes, and everything about caving people’s skull in. Axis: I think violence is the only religion for the Maori Badass. The bell rings and Crow and Va’aiga circle, both wary of each other due to their past encounters. Va’aiga takes a stutter step forward looking for a lock up, but Crow steps away, knowing he’d be overpowered in such a situation. Crow dances and weaves avoiding a few thrown jabs of Va’aiga, then shoots for a leg, but Va’aiga steps aside and Crow slides through and back up to a vertical base. The pair circle again, both with guards up. Axis: A cagey start from both of the wrestlers here. Crow and Va’aiga have faced off before and with such a huge stake on this match, neither wants to make the first mistake. Suicide King: It’s a wise strategy, Axis. Anyone making an error in this match is likely to have it punished quickly. Va’aiga bounces himself of the ropes, to build a little momentum and charges Crow, ducking to look for a tackle, but Crow leapfrogs over the massive Maori. Carried by his momentum Va’aiga bounces off the ropes on the opposite side of the ring and thunders back into the middle where Crow is standing. Crow this time drops down and Va’aiga is forced to vault over the Antichrist Phenom, again thundering across the ring and into the ropes. Crow kips up and looks to launch a dropkick into the rebounding Va’aiga, but Va’aiga grabs hold of a rope to steady himself and Crow slams down into the mat, hitting nothing but air. Crow shakes himself down and returns to his feet and the pair circle again. Axis: These two guys have faced a couple of times before, and it seems that they know what the other combatant does before they do! Crow steps in at Va’aiga and picks an arm, wrenching it round in the first offensive move of the match. Crow hip tosses Va’aiga out of the arm lock and drops a quick elbow onto the downed Maori. Crow rushes the far ropes and looks to hit a running elbow drop, but Va’aiga rolls out of the way and Crow hits nothing but canvas. Va’aiga rolls away and stands up, and Crow does the same before Va’aiga can launch any stomps into his prone form. The pair face off again and the crowd lets off a strong cheer. Axis: The volume in this building is intense. This is obviously the title match people have wanted to see for weeks now. Suicide King: Crow is a good champion and Va’aiga is certainly a world title level combatant. Va’aiga and Crow tie up, Va’aiga launching into the collar and elbow faster than Crow could escape this time. Va’aiga drops round into a back waistlock, but Crow counters into one of his own. Crow attempts a German Suplex on the Maori Badass, but with Va’aiga fighting hard against the move Crow can’t find the leverage to get the mighty Maori over. Va’aiga re-reverses and takes control of the grappling situation again, suplexing Crow over with a MASSIVE German, and holds on with a low bridge…. ONE! TWO! T… and Crow lifts a shoulder. Axis: The first real pin attempt of this match, and that barely got a two count. Suicide King: Crow should know he can’t suplex over the Massive Maori. Axis: I’ll admit that was maybe a tactical error by Crow, but in the heat of a reversal sequence, can you blame the Antichrist Phenom. Va’aiga lets Crow stand again and the Antichrist Superstar and the Maori Badass face off again. Crow lashes a chop off into the broad chest of Va’aiga, and the crowd whoos along with the move. Va’aiga doesn’t even flinch, however. Crow redoubles his effort and throws another chops. Same result, with the whooing from the crowd not really willing Va’aiga into moving backwards, or even recognizing the effects of the knife hand strike. Crow lashes another chop in and Va’aiga decides that he’s had plenty enough of the strikes and FLATTENS Crow with a massive Lariat. Va’aiga: MY HOUSE! The crowd cheers for Va’aiga as Crow rolls outside to regroup. Va’aiga throws another Maori hand sign for the crowd. Suicide King: Is all this showboating going to do anything but let Crow recover? What DOES Va’aiga think he’s doing? Axis: Well I think Va’aiga feeds off the crowd a little, and maybe with the new found popularity of Crow, Va’aiga is anxious to get the crowd on his side. Suicide King: Pandering to these morons isn’t going to do anything but help your opponent, Axis. Va’aiga moves to the edge of the ring and looks down at Crow, and quick as a flash Crow grabs for Va’aiga’s ankles, tripping the massive Maori up. Crow drags Va’aiga under the bottom rope and softens up the Maori Badass with a sequence of jabs and a pair of stylish uraken. Axis: Those Backfist strikes are one of Crow’s most potent punch variants. Crow grabs for an arm of Va’aiga and whips him across into the guardrail, then hits a lightning fast dropkick, bundling Va’aiga over the rail and into the first row of the audience. Crow slides himself back into the ring and taking a few steps back to size up the distance Crow launches himself at the ropes and hits a MASSIVE Springboard Somersault Senton…. But Va’aiga blocks by grabbing a chair from near him and holding it up so Crow bounces back first off the steel!!!!! Va’aiga holds up the chair to show what he has done, the slings it aside and picks up a fresh folding weapon and heads back into the ring. Crow takes up to 8 of his ten count to recover then heads back into the ring himself, just beating out the count, remembering to arm himself with his own chair. Axis: Both men are back in the ring now, and both are armed with totally legal foreign objects. Suicide King: I’m sure the watching public have got the idea of the rules by NOW, Axis. Va’aiga and Crow circle each other, like two hunters each stalking the other as prey. Crow swings his chair in a sweeping arc, forcing Va’aiga to back off and keep his distance. Va’aiga does the same and the pair exchange frustrated stares. Va’aiga grunts disapprovingly at Crow and spurred on Crow takes a step in and attempts an overhead strike on Va’aiga, but Va’aiga uses the chair to block! There is a deafening crash of steel on steel and the pair back off. Va’aiga this time is the first to attempt a shot and Crow uses his chair to block. The pair return to their circling positions. Axis: It’s a stalemate with chair in mid ring, and I’m not sure what either of these two wrestlers can do to break it. Suicide King: I think Va’aiga could use his height advantage, but it’s a risky business either way, Axis. Va’aiga steps in and swipes a chair sideways, towards the head of Crow, but Crow blocks with an overhead swing, forcing the arcing chair down and away from where it had intended to hit. Crow swings sideways and Va’aiga blocks with an overhead swing, repeating Crow’s feat. Both men back off then come out swinging, and crash after crash after crash rings out through the arena as steel meets steel with each simultaneous swing! Va’aiga changes technique and backs off, dodging backwards after a flashing swish of steel from Crow and FINALLY connects with a softened, short overhead blow, staggering Crow backwards. Crow drops his chair and allows himself the extra maneuverability to dodge loose wide swings from Va’aiga, and the Maori Badass counters by throwing his chair at Crow, allowing the Antichrist Superstar to catch it, but merely using that as a distraction to hit a RUNNING TACKLE! Crow goes down under the spear like blow. Axis: What a breathtaking sequence that was King, but I’m not sure that either man has been able to use the chairs to their full potential so far. Suicide King: Give it time, Axis, give it time. I think these combatants require a little more of an advantage before resulting to the basic chair swinging technique. Va’aiga closes in on the grounded Crow and picks him up off the ground. Looking at where the chair he threw at Crow had ended up, Va’aiga leads Crow into position by the hair then picks the Aussie up over his shoulder and slams him forcefully down onto the cold hard steel back first. Va’aiga: OH YEAH! Va’aiga lays down a couple of quickly thrown stomps down into the sternum of Crow as the Antichrist Superstar writhes around in pain from landing back first on the steel. Va’aiga drops to cover… ONE! TWO! THR… and Crow kicks out. Va’aiga picks himself up and curses. Axis: A good cover attempt there, it may have only been off a simple slam, but it wazs still a slam onto steel. Suicide King: If Va’aiga can hit the Maori Drop or something else as powerful onto a steel chair, this match will be over in a flash, Axis. Va’aiga picks Crow up off the mat and glances down, arching his eyebrow at the chair implanted in it. Va’aiga grabs for Crow’s arm and whips him forcefully into the ropes, and waits for his return, then flicks Crow up into the air, using all of the Antichrist Superstar’s momentum against him. Crow however extends his arms as he falls out of the sky from the flapjack, and takes a harder blow on his limbs to avoid landing again on the unforgiving steel chair. Axis: That shows the importance you have to place on chairs in this match, King. Crow was prepared to bust his wrists and ankles in extending his body to avoid hitting the chair there. Suicide King: It’s dangerous either way you look at it though, Axis. And Crow needs his limbs in working order to keep utilizing his speed advantage in the match, just to avoid the physical dominance Va’aiga can place over him. Va’aiga grabs Crow again and lifts him from the mat in a semi bearhug, then with a grunt of effort, the Maori Badass hoists Crow over his head, suplexing him backwards with an Overhead Belly-to-Belly. Crow looks up, staring at the lights and drawing breath deeply, and gets nothing but his vision obscured by the massivbe cranium of the Maori Badass, as Va’aiga picks Crow up, this time by the throat, and lifts the young SJL Champion up to a vertical base again. Matthew Kivell counts at Va’aiga, giving him the customary five second to break the illegal choke, and Va’aiga breaks by simply tossing Crow away and back down to the mat. Crow is left sat against the ropes and Va’aiga looks down and grins at the seated and stunned Antichrist. Axis: Va’aiga is treating Crow a little dismissively here. Do you think that the Maori Badass is showing a little disdain for his opponent here, King? Suicide King: Well if I had this much dominance, even if it has been for a short period, I’d be looking down on my opponent. Of course I look down on those who suffer at my hands because I’m ALWAYS better than them. Va’aiga kicks Crow across the face to ensure that the Antichrist Superstar isn’t going to move on him, then grabs for the chair Crow had earlier discarded, left on the ring apron. Va’aiga places the chair across Crow’s chest. Va’aiga backs up and baseball slides down towards Crow, but Crow rolls to a side and Va’aiga goes flying out of the ring! Crow adds an extra swipe for the chair to add a little extra spice to Va’aiga’s unprepared exit! Crow taps himself on the forehead giving the universal sign of “I was being a bit clever there.” Axis: Crow outsmarting the Maori Badass there. Suicide King: To be fair that’s not the most difficult task a SJL superstar would ever have to face. Axis: That’s a little uncharitable… Suicide King: Well come on, Va’aiga’s no genius. And Pope John Paul II is no Buddhist. Crow looks down at Va’aiga laying outside and rolls out to the ring apron. Crow holds the chair he’s grabbed across his back with one hand and using the other to steady himself leaps up to the middle rope, then hits a perfect back flip splash onto the grounded Va’aiga, holding the chair in place across his back! Axis: ATOMIC ASAI EVENFLOW MOONSAULT! Suicide King: I’m stunned Axis, I’m stunned. Axis: What a move from Crow, but I’m not sure he’s going to be able to capitalize on it immediately. Crow writhes around in pain on the floor, but unlike Va’aiga is able to reasonably quickly regain his footing, leaving the chair pressed into Va’aiga’s ribs. Crow hops up onto the ring apron and rushes a few brief steps towards Va’aiga, leaping off the apron and hitting a leg drop down onto the chair across Va’aiga’s ribs. Va’aiga spits out a mouthful of spittle, forced out by the power of the drop onto the chair as Crow composes himself and picks up Va’aiga, rolling the bulky Maori back into the ring. Crow follows him in and goes for the cover… ONE! TWO! THR… and Va’aiga kicks out. The crowd cheers for the close attempt and for the kick out, and Crow gets back to a standing position quickly. Axis: Crow landing a couple of high impact moves out of the ring there. I think that could have a winding effect on Va’aiga. Suicide King: Yeah but it could also have some effect on Crow himself, a lot of Crow’s high flying offense may draw the punters in, but it’s all a little risky to him personally. Crow lifts Va’aiga up and whips the Maori Badass into a corner, following in with a dropkick which forces Va’aiga to slump in the corner. Crow kicks a chair into position and spins a finger round in the air, signaling out to the crowd for the murderous DDT! The packed arena responds with a huge cheer as Crow ascends to the top turnbuckle and wraps his arm round the neck of the Maori Badass. Axis: Crow looking to Murderous DDT Va’aiga onto that chair. That could be a match winner for the Antichrist Superstar. Suicide King: The thing is, in a match like this, any move that either wrestler pulls off could be instant death. That’s the nature of such brutal stipulations. Crow leaps off the buckle, swinging Va’aiga round, but the Maori Badass counters in mid air and throws Crow off him in a makeshift Atomic Whip! Va’aiga rushes at Crow, but the Antichrist Phenomenon leaps quickly to his feet and catches the onrushing Maori with an ULTRA STIFF kick to his ribs! Va’aiga rocks back and Crow follows with a second kick! Crow kicks again, but misses as Va’aiga staggers back and Crow’s foot ends up swinging round in a Bruce Lee-ish arc, wowing the crowd but causing little damage. Axis: Crow bringing his martial arts skills to the contest. This is certainly an edge to Crow’s wrestling style he’s been working on, and also one that can even out the difference between him and larger wrestlers. Suicide King: It’s a skill you need when facing a massive meathead like the Maori Badass. Crow fires off another pair of stiff kicks to Va’aiga’s ribs and then one or two to the massively built legs of the Maori Badass. Crow looks up to the crowd as he lifts one of the legs of Va’aiga up and steps through. Crow crosses Va’aiga’s other leg into a four shape and grapevining both legs. Crow turns round, turning Va’aiga onto his back, locking in THE SHARPSHOOTER! Axis: SHARPSHOOTER! SHARPSHOOTER! SHARPSHOOTER! This could be over, this could be it for the Maori Badass! Suicide King: It’s a hold that effects seven major muscle groups. I think the big Maori could be toast. Va’aiga growls out in pain as the hold is applied, and beings inching his way forwards, trying to uncurl himself and remove some of the pressure of the hold. Crow is forced to back up a little to keep the pressure of the hold applied. Suicide King: Do you think going to a leg hold after mainly attacking the ribs of Va’aiga was a great idea, Axis? Axis: Well the hold also affects the muscles around the ribcage, and fits in well with what strategy, if strategy in such a brutal match IS the word, of Crow. Suicide King: And more importantly why does Va’aiga appear to be backing AWAY from the ropes? Va’aiga inches the hold towards the center of the ring as Crow wrenches forcefully on his legs applying more and more pressure to the Maori Badass. Va’aiga stretches himself out, uncurling himself again, loosening the hold a little, and reaching out with his right hand… not for the ring ropes, but for the chair that Crow had set up for the murderous DDT! Va’aiga grabs hold of the chair, and then suddenly reverses the direction he was attempting to force the hold, giving himself room to swing the chair blind over his head and smash it into the skull of Crow! Crow loses pressure on the hold and breaks, and Va’aiga grabs hold of his own leg and begins to rub it. Suicide King: What’s he DOING Axis? Axis: I think that Va’aiga is attempting to get the blood flow back to his legs, King. It’s only what any physiotherapist would try to do after a leg stretching. Suicide King: It still looks odd to me, Axis. It’s not natural. Crow gets to his feet and aims a kick at the seated Va’aiga. But Va’aiga swats Crow’s leg away, blocking the attack. Crow tries for another kick and again Va’aiga blocks. Crow tries for a third kick and this time Va’aiga spins and catches Crow’s leg, and begins to slowly stand, grabbing Crow’s protruding limb. Crow shakes his head furiously, and Va’aiga grins and hits Crow with a MASSIVE Maeda Capture suplex! Crow crashes down to the mat with a resounding thump, and Va’aiga floats over to a cover… ONE! TWO! THRE…. And Crow kicks out again. Axis: WOW that nearly did for Crow there. The Maori Badass hit that reversal suplex with the maximum amount of impact. And Crow could so easily have lost his title there. Suicide King: He’s not just reversed the move, he may have reversed the momentum of the whole match there. Va’aiga grabs for crow and picks him up off the canvas. Va’aiga looks at Crow and fires off a left cross. Crow staggers back a couple of steps with the power of Va’aiga’s strong punch. Va’aiga fires off a second left cross and Crow staggers again. Va’aiga throws a third and Crow nearly loses his footing. Va’aiga draws his big meat hook right hand back to his lips and kisses it for luck, then fires a MASSIVE right hook to Crow’s chin, and the Antichrist Superstar drops down. Va’aiga drops down and covers again ONE! TWO! THR… and Crow kicks out. Va’aiga smashes his hands into the mat in frustration. Axis: I think that Va’aiga is beginning to lose his temper here, King. Suicide King: I think that’s a good thing for Crow. I could be wro… no wait I’m Suicide King, I’m NEVER WRONG. It’s a good thing for Crow. Va’aiga lifts Crow up off the mat and whips him into the far ropes. Crow bounces off them and flies back to Va’aiga, and the Maori badass wrenches him up over his shoulder and slams Crow down into the mat again. Va’aiga looks over to where the chair is laying on the other side of the ring and drags it into the centre, stamping on it to make sure the chair is nice and sturdy. Va’aiga lifts Crow up and fires off a big punch into the chest of Crow, bending the Antichrist Phenom double. Va’aiga screams out to the audience, and places Crow into a standing head scissors, the picks up Crow over his shoulders and POWERFULLY blasts Crow down with a release Powerbomb!!! Va’aiga covers again ONE! TWO! THR… and Crow kicks out. Va’aiga grimaces and stands, grinding his boot disrespectfully in Crow’s face. Axis: Va’aiga definitely wants to finish this match as quickly as possible. Maybe the fatigue is going to tell on Crow. Suicide King: I’d be fatigued if I’d been repeatedly dropping back first onto a steel chair. Man Crow should be in a pin by now, it’s amazing that he hasn’t given up yet. Axis: Crow is made of stronger stuff than that, King and you know it. Va’aiga lifts Crow up and looks out into the audience, preparing to finish Crow off. Va’aiga floats round to the back of Crow and sets Crow up in an inverted face lock, positioning for an inverted DDT type move. Va’aiga looks to suplex Crow up over his shoulder, but Crow doesn’t budge, somehow managing to block the attempt with his leg. Va’aiga growls to himself and settles for Inverted DDTing Crow down onto the steel again. Axis: I think Va’aiga was going for the Pacific Driver, but Crow was able to block the move’s set up there. Suicide King: I’ve never seen the move, but I’ve heard about it form Va’aiga’s training sessions, and Crow may well have just saved his life by avoiding being Pacific Driven down onto steel. Axis: Maybe we’ll see the move later in the match though, King. Va’aiga picks Crow off the mat again, this time by Crow’s matted black locks. With not even a trace of triumph in his voice Va’aiga calls out to the crowd to tell them “It’s Over!”, and the response to the Maori Badass is mixed, maybe even leaning a little more towards boos than cheers. Va’aiga kicks the chair that was laying beneath Crow into position again and forcefully kicks the Antichrist Superstar in the stomach, bending the champ double. Va’aiga gut wrenches Crow up and holds Crow across his broad and toned chest before leaping into the air and falling forward, Maori Dropping Crow down onto the chair beneath him. Axis: Back into steel, ribcage into ribcage. That was a Maori Drop worthy of winning any title. Suicide King: I don’t think Va’aiga is done, Axis. I think the Maori is taking a little more time and ensuring a victory. Va’aiga grabs at the grounded Crow and flips him over onto his back. Va’aiga grabs for the chair that Crow had landed on, and holds it up for the crowd to see. The Massive Maori smashes the chair across the upper back of the Antichrist Superstar to keep Crow grounded, then leaves the chair across Crow’s back. Va’aiga grabs for Crow’s left arm and holds it across the young Australian’s lower back, then pinning it in place Va’aiga grabs for Crow’s other arm and wrenches it so Crow’s wrists touch at the base of his spine. Axis: What’s Va’aiga doing, King? Suicide King: I have no idea, Axis, but I’m damn sure Va’aiga has something evil in mind. Va’aiga grabs the chair from Crow’s back, using his other arm to pin the cross in place, then unfolds the chair a little and forces Crow’s arms into the chair, crossing them inside the seat of the chair and folding the chair back down, trapping Crow’s arms inside it. Va’aiga leaves Crow in place, and the Antichrist Superstar struggles to get free, but with his arms crossed and trapped, the Aussie champion can’t extricate himself. Axis: Va’aiga has Crow trapped in the chair and he’s walking off? What can the Maori Badass be doing. Suicide King: I’m worried for Crow, Axis. I think Va’aiga is going for another chair. Va’aiga is looking to do to BOTH Crow’s arms what I believe they call “Pillmanizing.” Axis: You think he’s going to try to break both Crow’s wrists at once? Not even the Maori Badass could be that brutal. Va’aiga walks over to the ring ropes and steps out as in the ring Crow struggles to break free, fatigue and desperation clouding his ability to worm loose from the constricting X inside the chair. Va’aiga grabs a second steel chair and slides into the ring with it. Va’aiga walks over to Crow and lifts Crow up to a kneeling base by the chin. Crow looks up at Va’aiga, and while still trying to free himself, smiles up at Va’aiga, daring the Maori Badass to hit him with a subtle glance. Axis: Is Crow mad? With that chair constraining his wrists acting like a primitive pair of handcuffs, there is nothing, NOTHING, that the Antichrist Superstar can do to protect himself from the Maori Badass and that steel chair. Suicide King: You and I are both wrestlers, Axis. You know as well as I do, and as well as any of the boys in the back do that nothing shortens your career like an unprotected head shot with a steel chair. Va’aiga smashes the chair into the canvas, and the resounding peal of thunderous steel impact sends the crowd into a numb shock, the decibel level of the building dropping in shock anticipated. Va’aiga draws a bead on Crow’s head with the chair and finally ends the anticipation by blasting the cold hard steel straight down onto Crow’s head, kneeling down to maximize the impact of the shot. Crow’s neck snaps back with the impact of the blow. The crowd simply ooohs at the sheer force of the blow. Crow wobbles a little and then… cracks a smile again. Va’aiga scowls. Axis: Crow is insane; he’s just asking to be hit again. What CAN the champion be thinking. Suicide King: Crow is running on adrenaline, Axis, it does strange things to a man’s mind. I’m not sure he’s even bothered about beings stuck now. Va’aiga draws the chair back again as he draws himself to his feet. The crowd still in shock, but the lack of noise washes over Va’aiga as he looks down at the trapped form of Crow. Va’aiga drops to his knees again, and again sends an enormous unprotected chairshot down onto the skull of the Antichrist Superstar. Axis: My god. After two chairshots like that, I’m sure Crow is fit to be pinned. Suicide King: Yeah but does Va’aiga WANT to finish Crow off yet? I’m not sure he does Axis. Axis: For the sake of Crow, for the sake of Crow’s family I hope this ends soon. Va’aiga draws himself to his feet again, and raises the chair aloft, above his head. The crowd this time meets this show with a slight chorus of boos. Va’aiga just stares blankly into the crowd before turning his focus back down to the wobbling, kneeling form of Crow. Va’aiga drops down again, and again crashes the chair over the unguarded head of Crow. Axis: My God, King. This could REALLY cause some permanent damage to Crow. What CAN Va’aiga be thinking at this point? Suicide King: For Crow’s sake I hope it’s not “Let’s show these morons some REAL violence” Axis: Let’s hope it’s not. Va’aiga stands again and looks at the Crow shaped dent forming in the chair. Crow, left kneeling on the floor has the glazed over look of the totally gone. Matthew Kivell looks over to Va’aiga and waves his arms wildly, asking, pleading for Va’aiga to stop the punishment. Va’aiga holds the chair in one hand and puts his finger to his lips, telling Kivell to shut up with his other. The crowd’s boos are becoming more solid now. Va’aiga greets the booing by kneeling and bringing YET ANOTHER massive chairshot down onto Crow. The Antichrist Superstar slumps over sideways. Va’aiga leans down and… replaces Crow in the kneeling position. Axis: My God, No Va’aiga, don’t do it! The beast inside has been unleashed, but for the love of God JUST PIN HIM! Va’aiga lifts the chair and himself up for a fifth time. The chair is dented and thoroughly out of shape from the force of the blows that Va’aiga has thundered down onto the head of Crow. Va’aiga looks at the chair and casually discards it, looking down at the unsteady form of Crow as he casually discards the deformed steel. Suicide King: I think Va’aiga made the right choice there, King. Va’aiga walks to the outside of the ring, and to the largest round of boos heard in his entire SJL career, Va’aiga picks up a fresh steel chair. Suicide King: Or maybe not. Axis: NO! NO! DON’T DO IT! Va’aiga walks back over to Crow and AGAIN fires down the chair, jacking back Crow’s neck with the force of the blow. Crow drops to the ground, and Va’aiga stays kneeling this time, firing off a seventh, eighth, and ninth blow to the downed Crow. Va’aiga drops to a thoroughly academic cover. ONE! TWO! THREE! The bell rings. Funyon: Your winner and NEW SJL Champion... VAAAAAAAAAA’AAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGAAAAAAAAA EMT teams rush out from the back as Va’aiga grabs for his newly earned belt from Funyon, walking off to a hushed silence with the belt slung over one shoulder. The lack of reaction to his theme music is stunning, the quiet crowd concentrating on the fallen Crow in the ring. Doctors and medical staff attend to Crow, with the senior EMT shining a light in Crow’s eyes to check he’s still conscious. Axis: After that savage beating, I hope that Crow is alright. Suicide King: You know, tonight we saw the dark side, the hidden animal inside Va’aiga. And I personally never, EVER want to see it unleashed again, Axis. Axis: Me neither… Meanwhile in the ring the EMT’s have prepared the gurney for Crow, but as they attempt to maneuver Crow onto it, Crow stirs, and slowly stands!!! The crowd rise to a man and give the Antichrist Superstar a STANDING OVATION! Crow bows and slowly begins to walk out under his own power. Axis: One man left with the gold tonight, but only one man can leave with his head held high. And that man is the great SJL star you see before you. For Suicide King this is Axis saying tune in again for Wrath, and goodnight.

http://www.cafeshops.com/swfshirts So far the only one up there is a JnR one, but if you want a SWF (or SJL) shirt for anyone making for you to buy, own and keep, I'm on it. I'm hoping to organise with Thoth to get all proceeds paid to our board fees fund. (we don't get shit unless we make $25 profit) It's up to you people to tell me what to do, because making one of these shirts is more work than an image, I have to obey copyright on stuff, i have to be SUPER good with images (otherwise you get fuzzy/blocky stuff) and they can ONLY be on white or grey. You can also have sweatshirts, baseball shirts, baby-Ts (for the laydeez), fleeces, hoodies, cuddly teddy bears, mugs, steins. underwear (OMG please no!), clocks, mousemats, bags.... and lots of other cool stuff note baseball caps and ski hats are the ONLY black things though everything else is white or grey.

Gothic Versions of Iori are VERY Dangerous.... ask Z *grins*

OK i did one of these for the SJL PPV (go read my ladder match!) and I was aksed to do one for the SWF one, but it's not a roundtable without people giving their opinions so if you can Make an audio file giving your predictions on each match Find me and send me the file Then you could be on the panel For consistency comments should be in character, and you don't have to intro the match in your comments, cos that's my job Now who's in? (first 4 or 5 only, cos don't want this to be too long, yo)

Mike: You must predict the SmarkDown card NOW! ChrisCard: But I have no idea about the SWF Mike: Exactly. ChrisCard: Oh I see Opening Promo - WildChild Wildchild will speak. Tag Team Match Beezel & Mike Van Siclen v. Michael Craven & Janus I know about Janus and Mike. So I'm backing Janus. And Mike deserved that for making me do this Singles Match "The Barracuda" Johnny Dangerous v. "The Judge" William Hearford I know about Johnny D. I know Judge has a cool shirt. I back - Judge. Handicap Match Deja Vu v. Neilsen of the Jungle I know NOTHING about this. I back - Neilsen Main Event Six Man Tornado Tag Team Match "Deathwish" Danny Williams, Frost & "TNT" Taylor Nicholas Thompson v. "The Superior One" Tom Flesher, Ejiro Fasaki and J Dawg Oooh cool main event. *flips coin* TS1, Rule and the Dawg.

SJL: Bringin' The Funk~! Theme: Rage Against The Machine - Renegades of Funk Venue: First Union Center, Philladelphia, Penn. TV TITLE MATCH FATAL FOUR WAY David Blazenwing vs Charlie "Grappler" Matthews vs Leo Breslin vs John Duran© Blazenwing, but really Mall Brawls are a toss up. SINGLES MATCH Spike Jenkins vs Kaine Spike. Revenge is a STRONG motivator. EUROPEAN TITLE MATCH 30 MINUTE IRON MAN MATCH Viktor Tarakanov vs Christian Blackwell© Blackwell. CLOSE LADDER MATCH WORLD TITLE CONTENDERSHIP Va'aiga vs Tryst It's time to... A HUPANE KAUPANE WHITI TE RA! SINGLES MATCH NO-DQ, FALLS COUNT ANYWHERE Dace Night vs Manson Manson. I never back the bumped. MAIN EVENT WORLD TITLE MATCH HELL IN A CELL Sean Atlas vs Crow© TFB~! (That F**king Bird)

SWF Mousepad NOW AVAILABLE Based on Atlas' new SWF logo http://www.cafepress.com/swfshirts

SJL The Future (Machinehead - Blank Generation) SJL Riot (The Clash - White Riot, or Atari Teenage Riot - Start The Riot) SJL Sabotage (Beastie Boys - Sabotage) SJL Outlaws (Pantera - Cowboys From Hell) SJL Pure Hatred (Raging Speedhorn - The Hate Song) There's a few for you

And so the Ththo reign begins on Crismon... *is a fine one to talk being 2003 freestyle typo champion in chat*

SWF MOUSEPAD IS NOW AVAILABLE! SWF Shirts (and other stuff)