Yuna_Firerose

Just because I like reading his columns, doesn't mean I agree with everything he says. I just think his Raw reviews are entertaining in their own unique and negative way. No, I haven't, but I'd love to read some of his columns.

Anytime Jeff or Shawn are in the same place together...they're slashy by default. And, damn, another quote to put in my sig. *sigh*

There were non-wrestling segments, but I didn't know if I should mention them since I didn't want to risk spoiling anything.

Maybe the Velocity match was 'practice'?

You're welcome, JHawk. Heyah, I know Megan doesn't care about it, but could you give her credit for the sig? Hell, I'm surprised she hasn't made more by now. No, wait, actually I do... she's been on a Kylie spree.

No guesses? Fine, I'll put an easy one in. "See that's his best trick. No illusions, just the truth. Are you ready for that?"

Velocity: Shannon vs Billy Kidman Chuck and Nunzio (w/Stamboli) vs Nova and Johnny Jeter DeMott vs Funaki (without knowing spoilers...can you guess who wins?) Team Angle vs Los Guerreros - Non Title Smackdown A-Train vs Benoit Rikishi vs Stamboli w/Nunzio and Chuck Rey Mysterio/Kidman vs Matt/Shanny (I so can't wait for this match) Undertaker gets two boxes Nidia w/Knoble vs Torrie -Paddle on a Pole Lesnar vs Kurt (*must..resist..spoiling..*)

The following report was written by Matt Boone with help from LordsOfPain.net's own Calvin Martin: ***VELOCITY*** This is the first match on your Velocity tapings. Billy Kidman vs. Shannon Moore (Non-Title) Said to be a good Cruiserweight match. Went about 5 minutes with the finish seeing Kidman nailing the "Shooting Star-Press" to get the pinfall victory. Winner via pinfall - Billy Kidman Chuck Palumbo & Nunzio w/ Johnny "The Bull" Stamboli vs. Nova & Johnny Jeter Pretty good back and forth tag-team action that lasted around 6 or 7 minutes. Finish saw Chuck Palumbo nail Nova with a superkick to get the pinfall. Johnny "The Bull" Stamboli was in Nunzio and Chuck Palumbo's corner for this match. This bout was taped to air on Velocity this coming Saturday night. Winners via pinfall - Chuck Palumbo & Nunzio w/ Johnny "The Bull" Stamboli Bill DeMott vs. Funaki 3 minute squash with Bill DeMott getting the better of it. DeMott nails Funaki with a clothesline that nearly knocked him out of his shoes before folding him in half with a devestating powerbomb to secure the victory. Winner via pinfall - Bill DeMott Team Angle vs. Los Guerrero's (Non-Title) Solid 8 minute match with Los Guerrero's getting the nod via countout. Chavo Guerrero Jr. hit Charlie Haas with a tornado DDT off the top-rope. Eddie Guerrero was on the other corner about to come off the top-rope when Team Angle slid out the backdoor and took the 10 count. Winners via countout - Los Guerrero's Tony Chimmel plugs the merchandise stand featuring the new WWE bobble-head dolls. The first, Kurt Angle (crowd boo's). The second, "Hollywood" Hulk Hogan (crowd pops). Finally, The Rock (mixture of boo's and cheers). T-shirts are shot out into the crowd as the WWE crew changes sets from Velocity to SmackDown! 2 Boxed Surprises For The Undertaker? As Tazz's music hits, Michael Cole and Tazz make their way to the announcing table. As the two are headed to the commentator's booth, we notice two large boxes on the entrance ramp of the SmackDown! set. Likely another two surprises for The Undertaker tonight on SmackDown! ***SMACKDOWN*** Show opens with "If ya smell......." as The Rock comes out on stage. Rock walks back and forth a few times before getting in the ring. After a debated crowd mixed with boo's and cheers, The Rock grabs a microphone. "Finally...." crowd boo's. (Deeper voice) "FINALLY...." crowd boo's. "Finally, The Rock has come back To Indianaaaaaaaaaa.......who gives a crap." The Rock wants the crowd to make a decision. Oh wait, Rock has a call on his cell-phone. It's his personal assistant. The Rock will be back with you in just one minute. Hell yeah The Rock is going to fly out of here tonight. What did you think, The Rock was going to spend another night with all these hicks? Whoa whoa whoa, not you guys, hickory tree's. There's a lot of hickory tree's in Indianapolis. Rock hangs up, back to the crowd. Rock wants the crowd to make a decision. The Rock hears "Rocky" chants, The Rock hears "Hogan" chants, The Rock hears boo's, The Rock hears cheers. The Rock wants the people to make a decision. Do they really want to boo The Rock? Let The Rock check again, do they really want to boo The Rock? Alright, you made your decision. At No Way Out, you are going to get the jabroni beating, pie eating, climb a tree, scratch an itch, make Hulk Hogan The Rock's little bitch, people's champ...The Rock! "If ya smell...." whoa whoa whoa. You made your decision. You don't chant "Rocky sucks" for 10 minutes and then sing along with The Rock. Only The Rock can say it now, "what The Rock, is cooking!" Chris Benoit vs. A-Train Missed most of the match due to technical problems. When I came back, Chris Benoit's music was playing as he was celebrating. One would assume he got the nod. Winner via pinfall? - Chris Benoit Hulk Hogan is shown backstage arriving to the arena. No promo's or nothing, just walking down the hallway with his gear. Funaki is shown backstage outside The Rock's dressing room. Funaki, SmackDown! number one announcer is attempting to get a word with the returning Rock. Two security guards outside the Rock's dressing room refuse to let Funaki in. Funaki says he has a pass, they still refuse. Funaki tries to bribe them with a $100 bill, to no avail. The security tells Funaki that The Rock will only speak with Hulk Hogan. Rikishi vs. Johnny "The Bull" Stamboli w/ Nunzio & Chuck Palumbo Johnny "The Bull" Stamboli nails a very impressive military press slam to the big 400 pound Samoan, Rikishi. Rikishi wins with a Samoan drop. After the match, all three Italians attack Rikishi. Rikishi gets the better of them until going for a Samoan drop on Nunzio, only to be super-kicked in the chops by Chuck Palumbo for his efforts. Winner via pinfall - Rikishi Backstage we see Shelton Benjamin and Kurt Angle doing amateur wrestling to prepare Angle for his match with Brock Lesnar in the main-event tonight. Angle said he was upset about the six-man tag Stephanie McMahon announced for No Way Out last week, but he has accepted it. However, tonight, Angle is going to snap Lesnar's ankle in half so he won't even make it to No Way Out. Rey Mysterio & Billy Kidman vs. Matt Hardy & Shannon Moore Very good high-flying action packed match that ran just under 10 minutes. Finish saw Matt Hardy get the twist-of-fate on Billy Kidman for the 3-count while Mysterio was battling with Moore on the outside. Winners via pinfall - Matt Hardy & Shannon Moore "Earlier this week" Michael Cole is sitting down with Nathan Jones who will be in SmackDown! live next week. Michael Cole brings up Jones history in jail. Nathan Jones said he served 10 years for armed robbery, but he served his time, paid his dues, and wants to put that behind him. Cole asks him what he hopes to accomplish in WWE. Nathan Jones said he wants to win the WWE Championship. He has some unfinished business with someone, but will he settle it on tick or tock? He whispers some devious stuff for a few minutes, and that was that. Undertaker is shown backstage. Plug for this coming Saturday's Confidential which will feature a piece on the life of "Mr. Perfect" Curt Hennig. The boxes containing surprises for The Undertaker are headed to the ring as we go to commercial. Highlight package of the past few surpises and apologies from Big Show to Undertaker airs as the second box is being craned into the ring. "Dead Man walking...you've done it now" as The Undertaker motorcycles himself to the ring containing two large mystery boxes. Undertaker eyeballs both boxes, one bigger than the other. Wonder what's going to be in the bigger one? Undertaker goes to the smaller box first, opens it, and it's a little puppy dog. Undertaker stare-downs the bigger one and begins kicking it in as the Big Show jumps him from behind. Nothing in the big box, but a big set up. Big Show chokeslams Undertaker and leaves Undertaker laid out in the ring as he walks off. Highlight of the last Undertaker segment with the beatdown from Big Show airs as we return. Big Show is shown backstage yelling about not being afraid of Undertaker and that he's going to beat him at No Way Out. He gets in a limo and leaves the arena. This was a "during the break" segment. Torrie Wilson vs. Nidia w/ Jamie Noble (Paddle On A Pole) Highlights of last week's Valentine's Day bra & panties match is shown as Nidia makes her entrance. Missed what happened here, but you can bet a paddle was involved somehow. Nidia got the victory. Winner via pinfall? - Nidia Now it's time for the showdown between The Rock and Hollywood Hulk Hogan. The Rock does the majority of the talking. Messing with the crowd for boo'ing him like before, while taking stabs at Hulk Hogan here and there. Rock says he's thought long and hard, and an apology is in order. The Rock has contemplated, and his mind is made up. Hulk Hogan, go ahead and apologize to The Rock. No apology. The Rock gives Hulk Hogan one more chance to apologize, Hulk Hogan says "hell no." The Rock goes on to talk about how he's the reason Hulk Hogan is popular again. Rock challenging Hogan last year brought Hogan back from the dead and allowed him to do commercials with the "muppet puppets" again. Maybe he don't remember, so allow The Rock to remind him. "The millions" half the crowd finishes, the other half boo's. Rock tries again, same results. He gives up. The entire time Rock would trash-talk Hogan, Hogan would get ready to attack Rock, but Rock would stop him. Rock finally tries to shake Hogan's hand and be a gentleman. He's just trying to entertain the fans, Hogan knows that. He respects Hogan, and the two greatest icons are going to get it on this Sunday on PPV. Rock sticks his hand out to Hogan for a handshake, Hogan goes to shake, Rock pulls it back, Hogan punches Rock. Rock walks away laughing it off. No Way Out card is run down. Same exact line-up that was advertised on RAW only this time Chris Jericho vs. Jeff Hardy was announced. John Cena is backstage with a cast on his leg freestyling about his knee being shattered by Brock Lesnar last week on SmackDown! when he was F-5'd into the steel ring post. Main-Event: Brock Lesnar vs. Kurt Angle Brock Lesnar makes his way to the ring to his music as usual. Next comes Kurt Angle to his music, with Team Angle by his side. Angle grabs a mic and asks Lesnar if he really wants to go through with this. He agreed to wrestle Lesnar tonight, but he didn't name the stipulation. If he wants Angle tonight, he's got to be Shelton Benjamin. However, to get to Shelton Benjamin, he has to beat Charlie Haas first. He has to beat them both to get to Angle. Match with Lesnar and Haas begins. Lesnar gets the quick advantage. Lesnar dominates the match and finally wins after about 4 minutes with the F-5. Next up, Shelton Benjamin. Brock Lesnar gets through Shelton Benjamin after about 8 minutes. Lesnar blocks Benjamins kick-finisher and nailed him with a weird looking F-5 for the victory. Now it's time for Brock Lesnar vs. Kurt Angle, as Lesnar got past the two obstacles Angle put before him. However, Paul Heyman is trying to encourage Angle not to go down to the ring for the match. Angle makes his way down to the ring. Angle and Lesnar stare each other down, Heyman grabs Lesnar's attention allowing Angle to jump on Lesnar's back for some sort of choke. Lesnar goes for an F-5 on Paul Heyman, but Angle stops it with a back-leg chop block. From there, Team Angle jumps in to assist Kurt with the beat down of Brock Lesnar until Lesnar's tag-partners for this Sunday, Benoit and Edge, come down to clean house. The six stare each other down as the heel team scurries off.

*is begging for dpac to use correct punctuation* Their singles Raw match was good, not great, but okay.

Someone get rid of this fuckin' hacker! Geez!

Nathan Jones....promo will prolly suck, but to be honest, I'll most likely tape it. I usually got a hyped-up star's debut, plus, I like his accent

Rey Mysterio &; Billy Kidman vs. Matt Hardy &; Shannon Moore Most of the time I clip the matches I tape, but last week, Matt vs Rey was the only match to date on my GM tapes that didn't clip at all. I highly doubt this week's match will be any different.

Oh Rikishi wins..........geez, why does WWE keep him around?

Dammit! I thought he was for real! :angry:

Welcome to the Tuesday edition of the WRATH OF TITO. Sorry for the delay, BUT I spend the day driving back to school and digging my car out from the depths of snow. So forgive me, sucka! Last night's RAW was in Columbus, OH. From school, it's only an hour and a half away, and I had a great time when I went up to Columbus for Smackdown in November. I thought about going to RAW, but I decided against it due to recent terrible shows that the WWE has been putting on for Monday nights. Thank God I did, because there would have been no chance in hell I'd be able to attend that sombitch. And I'm happy, too, because RAW was disappointing, once again. But guess what? I'll be attending Smackdown in Pittsburgh on March 11th. That's right, I'm willing to make a lovely 4 hour drive to see WWE Smackdown than to waste my time with RAW in Columbus! Take that! Actually, I want to see Hulk Hogan before he retires, and he should be there, given that it's a few weeks before Wrestlemania 19. If Hogan doesn't show up, then so what? I can still enjoy the best roster of WWE wrestlers right now with Benoit, Team Angle, Kurt Angle, Guerreros, Edge, Rey-Rey, and Lesnar. A couple backyard wrestling fanatics attacked me for my recent review of Best of Backyard Wrestling Volume 5. Don't get me wrong. I love backyard wrestling and I'm behind it 100%. But Backyard 5 is extremely repetitive in many areas, which made the DVD, as a whole, lackluster. How many times can you watch someone go through a fake wooden table of 2 chairs holding a piece of plywood, or a lightbulb getting smashed over someone's head? The backyard wrestling I love is when the gimmick creativity is great and the wrestling is effective but safe at the same time. Dropping someone through 40 lightbulbs is garbage. Jumping off roofs is garbage. Slicing your friend with barbed wire is garbage. It's not backyard wrestling. It's stupidity. On to the RAW review! RAW is TITO We start the show with Lance Storm vs. Rob Van Dam. If this was in ECW, its marks would be jacking off by the booking of this match. HOWEVER, Storm is caught in a bad tag team, which makes his personality more boring than ever, and thus making the crowd quiet whenever he's on the offensive. OK match, but hardly a hot opener. Can any combination of wrestlers on the RAW roster put on a match to fire up the crowd? Given the political problems backstage on killing heat for every face on the roster, it's impossible. RVD won the match, thereby telling you who is going to win this Sunday. Oh joy. Eric Bischoff comes out and announces that RAW will stay on track to what it has been doing for the past few months. Yay, keep it boring. Chief Morley is back, boring, and Bischoff books several crappy matches to ensure us that RAW will continue to suck. Our next match was the most quiet I've ever heard a crowd during a match, ever. Victoria/Jazz vs. Molly Holly/Jackie was not only a bad match, but a crowd killer, too. It would help if the fans knew if Molly was a face or if Jackie was actually popular ever in her career. By the way, I find it amazing how T.A.T.U.'s "All the Things She Said", also known as Victoria's theme, is find its way on American radio stations, despite a controversial censoring of the band in most places because 2 members of the group enjoy eating a little carpet every once in a while. Jazz and Victoria won the match, and I don't care. GREAT to see the WWE paying tribute to Curt Hennig last night with a video tribute. Given that Hennig died last Sunday/Monday, the WWE production crew probably didn't have access to the WWE video library to whip something up for last week's RAW. Next, we had a terrible debut by Rodney Mack or Redd Dawg. Although he has a better look than D'Lo, his wrestling ability didn't look so good in his first match, possibly injuring Al Snow off the get. I'm tired of the race card being played. It will NOT give a wrestler extra crowd reactions. Just have Teddy Long talk for Mack and go from there. Maybe throw a black mask over Mack's face, find another African American and mask him as well and call them Doom 2003. Ok, I'm having WCW flashbacks and dreams. If you didn't know who Doom was, they were a great tag team in WCW during the early 1990's consisting of Hacksaw Butch Reed and Ron Simmons. Great, great tag team, which Teddy Long eventually managed. Our next bout was Chris Jericho/Christian vs. Shawn Michaels/Jeff Hardy. This COULD have been a much better tag match. It seemed to be too short and HBK/Hardy didn't seem to work well as a tag team, either. The confusing storylines surrounding Jeff Hardy makes him working with HBK look very weak at this point, and given the 2 year destruction of Jeff Hardy, it's going to take him longer to put more effort into his matches. Jeff needs to hit the gym, tanning bed, and change his image. It was nice of Test to avoid getting to Columbus, earlier, probably putting him in big trouble with WWE management with being unable to hype his match with Chris Jericho. I'd have Jericho going cleanly over Test at No Way Out, and then keep Test off Wrestlemania as an even bigger punishment. Total filler match between Hurricane and Chris Nowinski. I have no reason to care for either guy for how green Nowinski still is or how the Hurricane barely gets any time on RAW lately. Another crappy match was with 3 Minute Warning and Rico against Spike Dudley. The Dudleys vs. Bischoff/Morley feud is weak to begin with, so why bother wasting our time with a handicap match that gets nothing done in the storylines? Booker T/Scott Steinver vs. Batista/Triple H was next. A pretty bad workrate with 3 out of 4 wrestlers here. Booker T was the only light in this match, and he actually got the final pin on Triple H. I'm sure many marks will call Triple H generous for this, but just wait whenever the Booker T vs. Triple H match occurs and look where Booker is placed on the card afterwards. Booker T vs. Triple H at Wrestlemania? Batista is sooo not over, brother. No Way Out, for the RAW band, is looking pretty miserable at this point. Our final match was Eric Bischoff vs. Jim Ross. LAME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Why is it that whenever someone wants to piss off Steve Austin, they always attack Jim Ross? Why? CAN'T YOU POSSIBLY THINK OF ANYTHING ELSE TO DO WHEN FEUDING WITH AUSTIN?!?!? Geesh, and you wonder why the creative end of RAW receives so much criticism. LAST WORD: Jesus Christ, what is wrong with Monday Night RAW? The in-ring product is so poor that it can never compensate for the excessive backstage or promos during the show. I'm growing extremely tired of the RAW brand to the point that I might just watch Smackdown exclusively. I can't even go into every RAW with a feeling of optimism because I know the show needs major work to even become watchable again. I'll give this show a [ D ] (D) and a FINGER OF SHAME for showing no signs of improvement. What would I do? 1) Throw out the RAW writers. Soap opera guys can't write a wrestling show, and they prefer to have more promo time or backstage crap instead of actual matches. 2) Build up some credible main eventers to go after Triple H. Nobody on that roster has any credibility to even become champion. Booker T was in the tag division for too long... Rob Van Dam was depushed immediately after his feud with Triple H... Kane's personality has been limited in his role as a tag wrestler lately... 3) Improve the midcard. Don't just push a guy one week only to get squashed the next. And when you debut a wrestler, do it in a way that fans are informed of the guy before he makes his debut on RAW. 4) Ship some wrestlers to Ohio Valley Wrestling and fast! Guys like Nowinski need more improvement. 5) Ditch the women's division or just put it on Sunday Night Heat. It's not getting over due to bad heels in the division or a lack of male fans wanting to see butch women attack Trish Stratus. 6) Realize that this is NOT 1999 for RAW. Shock value does not work. 7) Repackage or get rid of wrestlers who aren't over or who are unwilling to improve. Storm/Regal and Test are NOT over with the crowd, yet they continually shoved down our throat. Also, many wrestlers who were over in 1999-2000 are either boring or stale here in 2003. Repackage them or push someone else who is new. It upsets me that I gringe Monday Night RAW now. We're up to a 2-5 on RAW's this year (good shows - bad shows), and I'm getting more and more disgusted with this show by the week. I said that if the WWE doesn't improve by the whole by the few weeks after Wrestlemania, then I'll stop watching the WWE as a whole. Well, looking at it now, I like Smackdown and look foward to watching that show every week, while I dread RAW. Looks like I may drop RAW off of my viewing list sometime in the next few months instead.

Credit: LordsOfPain.net

Should it? The only time they got annoying is when we're eating. In which case, I just consider them a diet plan

Just because Jericho told Christian that he was a sexy beast, Jeff/Shawn are sex walking, and that Jericho, and Jericho was stripping HBK.....none of that screams slash, now does it?

*shrug* Gossip is gossip. Doesn't bother me at all.

Nope...we live in an apartment What's the name for a building that has six apartments? Well, we live in one of those. Actually, it's 10 full-grown catss, 1 teenage, whom is the mother of...our 5 kittens (Jericho, Raven, Princess, Rindy, and Fozzy). We weren't *planning* on having on getting the kittens, but the teenage cat (who must've been caught in her first heat), was just on our doorsteph when mom came home from work (about 7am). She had seven kittens total, but we gave away two. We weren't planning on keeping any, but......*sigh* They just have to be cute and adorable. Curse the cuteness.

Vice City does rock, but why did they make the cops so intelligent? You run over one cop..boom..you're surrounded by three cars in a second. So what do I do? I drive away...on...my golf cart! Oooh, I'm cruisin' now! And while they're chasing me, I'm frantically trying to find a good song. *sigh* If that doesn't work, then I just crash my car into theirs a few times till it flames, then...get out and watch the fireworks of about three cars, plus one golf cart, exploding.

Looks interesting, I'll give it that. The usual comedy-romance filled with the same jokes, just told differently. Boring. Don't know much about, so, no comment. What has Disney been smoking lately? This movie will be filled with unfunny jokes that they've probably used a thousand times in their movies from the past few years. Pass. Rental at best. Know nothing about, so no comment. The usual survival movie that you pretty much know who will die and who won't. Many 'boo scares' probably, to coin a Steve Sommers phrase. From what I can see, it's the black version of "How to lose a guy in 10 days"..with modifications, of course. The usual sappy comedy-romance that's only good for a $1 rental. Fuck that, I'll take 4WaF anyday. CGed kangaroo. Whiny fat black guy. Sucky plot. The only plus side to this movie is the kangaroo's accent. () Another no comment. How any of these movies, minus the ones I don't know about and Daredevil, could make any money is beyond me.

Geezus, that better be fake. Being an owner 16 cats myself, even closeups of kittens in jars disgusts me.

Huh??

Hey, a Waltman fan! Oh, wait, is that hated on this board? Uh..boooo! In terms of matches, I'd say Sean's are better, but in terms of mic skills, Book is waaay ahead of Waltman.