It's ultimatum time. You wanna talk about what's going on? It sounds to me like you have a crystal clear picture of what's happening. You explained it pretty thoroughly in this blog.
"Hey, we need to talk. Right now. What's going on?"
If she gives you the shoulder again, one statement puts it all into perspective. "Pack your shit." Sometimes you'll have to be a cold, heartless bastard to get your point across.