Forewarned

Boo! Ha! Scared ya'. That said...the return of Damian Diablo is almost here! Roar mother f**kers. If you think Neilsen would let his Hardcore Bitch get the pin, the final win, your reasonings f'n thin. The Clash of the Kings. The King of Hearts versus the Ace in the Hole. The Hardcore Hero versus the Heartbreaker. Jungle versus Suicide. NotJ versus SK. Anyone else involved...just doesn't matter. And Flesher, TNT, Frost...if you win...it just doesn't matter. The next show, you'll be staring up at the lights and at the NEW World F**kin' Champion. He IS Neilsen and you WILL fear him...

DUDES! You are SO...TOTALLY...fucked! If you think I'd ever let two know nothing pieces of shite like Deja Dead get one over on Neilsen...you've got another thing coming. No one can stop Neilsen's undefeated in handicap matches record, not Deja Vu, not the IoD, not Wild and Dangerous...not even J&R. No one can cause him to lose a handicap match... NO ONE! Dude...seriously...

Congrats JD. Can't say I'm surprised I lost...how many times can I say that? ...but I am incredibly surprised you won. I figured the ref would beat ya' or something. *stalks off to get a new tooth*

Here is my 4,000-5,000 something word match I started writting less then 2 hrs. before due time and sent 2 minutes before the time. Stevens: “Quiet the riot, lock the cells and deliver the last meal because the SWF Lockdown is back in effect!” Riley: “There’s been great action so far, but up next, we’ve got what is sure to be a hardcore classic! It’s Neilsen of the Mother Fuckin’ Jungle, it’s the Hardcore Gamer’s Champion Beezel, it’s the ICTV Champion Jay Dawg and the Magnificent Beast Janus in a Hardcore Four Corners Match in front of this sold-out crowd!” The camera pans around the roaring fans holding signs such as, “Chilly goes Bang!, Kris+Kross=Kewl! and This is Hardcore Heaven!” They proudly wear their M7, their Hardcore Maniac and their “The Return of the Pack” shirts. These rapid fans are ready for a hardcore war! Funyon enters the ring. Funyon: “Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is a Four Corners Non-Title Hardcore Match!” The fans roar! Suddenly, the arena is plunged into darkness, and the crowd alternates between cheers and woos into the darkness as the Smarktron shows an image of a young man, with his hair dyed white. As the strains of Fear Factory's "Resurrection" echo through the arena, cracks slowly begin to weave through the image and blue pyro starts bursting up from both sides of the ramp. Before Funyon can speak, the voice of Burton C. Bell carries through the arena. "Consumed with memories... That preceded today... Given a chance to bereave.. Life that's slipping AWAAAAAAAAAAAY!!" As the heavy riffs roar out of the speakers, the crack-riddled image explodes into fragments, revealing the face of Janus as he is now, with a scowl on his face. His name flashes up in green text, and it proceeds to play clips of some of his more brutal spots - interspersed with flashes of his name and "Magnificent Seven", as the giant steps out onto the stage, lit only by a spotlight as Funyon lifts up his microphone. Funyon: “Introducing first, hailing from Sydney, Australia, weighing in at 350 lbs., he is the former (Janus scowls) Hardcore Gamer’s Champion and a member of the Magnificent Seven…this…is…Jaaaanuussss!!!” Janus stalks down to the ring, each set of blue pyro going off as he walks past them. Flexing his muscles, he climbs up onto the ropes and looks around the darkened arena before climbing into the ring and thrusting his arms into the air....and with a loud explosion, a pillar of blue fire explodes from each turnbuckle simultaneously as the lights come back on. The fans gasp at the big man as a startled Funyon takes a deep gulp before announcing… Funyon: “And his first opponent…” Multiple Fireworks explode around the arena, rafters and entrance ramp. The lights go out... "THIS IS MAH HOUSE!!" The voice, obviously pre recorded, echoes through the arena. Rammstein's 'Du Haste' plays without the lyrics... The heavy beats thunder 360 degrees all over the arena... The Intercontinental Television Champion Jay Dawg steps through the curtains with his belt wrapped around his waist, his head held down, the left side of his jaw bandaged and the fans explode for the table in his hands! He walks to the top of the ramp, slowly raising his head. He lowers his head again, although a smile without good intentions is now plastered on his face. Funyon: “Hailing from Vancouver, British Columbia, weighing in at 243 lbs., he is the reigning Intercontinental Television Champion and the longest reigning Hardcore Gamer’s Champion in history… Ladies and gentlemen…this…is…Jamie “Jay Dawg” Draaaazzzoooon!!! He enters the ring, sets the table in the turnbuckles right of the ramp, places his hands on his thighs and slowly cricks his neck. He takes off his belt, hands it to Kivell, steps back into the opposite corner and rests on the turnbuckles in wait for his next opponents while keeping his eyes on the large man currently in the ring who is staring right back. Funyon: “And their next opponent…” Rivers Cuomo's voice sings out to the audience "I'll bring home the turkey if you bring home the bacon...." followed by a sheet of red pyro exploding on the entrance ramp. Through the resulting smoke comes Beezel himself, singing along to the chorus with his masked voice: ”I'm a lot like you, so please, hello... I'm here... I'm waaaaaiting.” “I think I'd be good for you, and you would be good for me!” Hamming it up to the crowd, the man with the Hardcore Gamer’s Championship wrapped around his waist struts down the ramp, singing his heart out to these slightly amused and appreciative fans. He rolls into the ring, spins to his feet, performs a dramatic bow and then hops up with his arms wide to draw on the cheers of the fans. Funyon: “Hailing from Phoenix, Arizona, weighing in at 205 lbs., he is the reigning Hardcore Gamer’s Champion, El Scorcho himself…Beeeeeezell!!!” Beezel stops his panhandling, looks at the table in the corner and stares at his two foes. Without taking his eyes off them, he takes off his belt and hands it to Matty K. Jay Dawg is sizing the man up while Janus grinds his teeth, ready to leap right before… Funyon: “And the final opponent…” Everyone in the ring stops their brief face off as a heavy beat starts to bump as images of a man pulling on black fingerless gloves, black elbow pads and black kneepads appears on the Smarktron. “…can you feel that?” Funyon: “Hailing from Chicago, Illinois…” They stare up at the Smarktron as the man’s scarred chest is shown on the Smarktron with a black wifebeater being pulled over it. His arms can be seen pumping. His sandaled feet are shown hopping up and down. “Aw shit…” Funyon: “Weighing in at 245 lbs…” Images from behind of the man walking into an excited arena bearing a steel chair are shown as all in the ring start tensing up for action. Funyon: “Neilsen…of…the…Juuunngglllllle!!!” “Ooooo…ah ah ah ah!” The fans explode as Neilsen comes bursting out from behind the curtains bearing a steel chair! He flies down the ramp as Michelle walks out from behind the curtains in her black bra and black ripped miniskirt. The Jungler slides in, swings at Janus, Beezel and Jay Dawg! All three men climb/jump out of the ring to dodge the wild swings. Neilsen spins around, raises the chair and receives a chorus of cheers. He begs the men back into the ring with a smirk on his face, looking quite fearsome with his currently stitched upper lip on display for all to see. Michelle makes it to the bottom of the ramp to see Jay Dawg staring at her chest. With one hands she covers herself and with the other flips him off. He laughs at that as… Ding! Ding! Kivell signals the bell! Stevens: “It’s on!” Riley: “But everyone but Neilsen’s outside the ring!” Stevens: “It doesn’t matter! This is hardcore!” Neilsen smirks once more and finally drops the chair. Jay Dawg flies in! He charges, Neilsen slides his foot under the chair, flips it at JD, Jay catches, Beezel slides in and-Superkick to steel! JD goes down, Neilsen turns, Beezel leaps, pushes himself over Neilsen using the Jungler’s own shoulders, lands, both men turn, Beezel swings, Neilsen dodges, throws an arm over Beezel’s shoulder, hauls him up, Beezel twists in mid-air, gets his feet under Neilsen’s armpits and- Riley: “Victory Roll!” “One,” shouts Kivell before Neilsen kicks out, charges, swings, Beezel ducks, Neilsen continue-Beezel sweeps him off his feet and covers for-“One!” Kick out! Neilsen charges-armdrag! Neilsen charges-armdrag! Neilsen charges-arm-Neilsen cartwheels through, Beezel-Book End on Beezel! Neilsen bounces up, spins and- Stevens: “GORE!” Riley: “Janus was just laying in wait!” -Neilsen is blasted to the mat by the 350 lbs. beast! The fans boo as Janus throws up a hand to signal the end for the Jungler. He grabs Neilsen’s head, shoves it between his legs and-Jay Dawg leaps onto the back of the big man and takes him down! Jay Dawg starts pounding fists into the back of Janus’ head. As he is mounted on Janus, Beezel rises to his side, rebounds off the ropes, leaps and- Stevens: “Shinning Wizard on Jamie Drazon!” Riley: “He Doused the Flames!” Beezel quickly rolls out of the ring, throws the tarp high and pulls out a fire extinguisher! The fans roar as-Michelle jumps on Beezel’s back and starts clawing at his eyes! Beezel yowls as the Hardcore Bitch on his back tries to take his eyes out! He grabs the extinguisher’s nozzle, aims it over his head and-FOOSH-sprays Michelle in the eyes to a roaring cheer! She falls, he turns and soaks her down with white foam. Under his mask he can be seen smiling-until Janus reaches over the top rope and grabs his head! Janus pulls the man up and-Beezel reaches up, grabs Janus’ head and brings it down on the top rope! Janus stumbles back, Beezel climbs the apron, leaps, springboards, slaps on a side headlock, spins around and-slams the mat as Janus held on to the top rope, blocking the Tornado DDT! Stevens: “Awesome, yet simplistic, counter by Janus.” Riley: “The big man has skills.” Janus grabs Beezel, wraps a hand around the man’s throat, hauls him up and growls at him. He hauls the man who took his title up and-Beezel wraps his legs around Janus’ head, flips back and-Janus holds hi ground, hauls the man back up and-JD chop blocks the man’s right knee! Janus falls to the knee and Beezel starts blasting away with right hands until Janus lets go of his throat. Jay Dawg grabs Janus by the ears, puts his right foot behind Janus’ skull and shouts at Beezel. B runs at the far ropes, climbs to the apron, points at Janus, leaps, springboards and- Stevens&Riley: “Holy Shit!” -sandwiches Janus’ head with a springboard dropkick to the face and JD’s foot right behind his head! The fans roar and JD pulls the big man up for it again. Beezel goes to the apron, points to a loud cheer, leaps, springboards and- Stevens: “Swerve!” -JD goes flying out of the ring, between the ropes, from a springboard dropkick to his face! Beeazel gets up, takes a bow, receives a cheer-and Neilsen charges from a prone position, slaps on a side headlock, spins around and plants Beezel with a Tornado DDT! Beezel goes flying out under the ropes by the ramp, Neilsen stands, charges the far ropes, rebounds, steps on Janus, leaps, lands on the top rope, Beezel stands, Neilsen springboards, pumps his arms, Beezel does a slight hop and- Stevens: “He is smashed down to the ramp with a springboard Five Star Frog Splash from the ring to the ramp!” Neilsen bounces and starts rolling up the steel walkway clutching his stomach. Inside the ring, Jay Dawg rises back up, swearing at himself for falling victim to Beezel’s swerve and starts taking his anger out on Janus with hard right hands and a few boots to the temple. Janus still manages to stagger to his feet, Jay Dawg rebounds off the far ropes and-eats a big boot! Janus picks the man up, sticks his head between his legs, points out to the ramp, hauls-Jay Dawg throws his shoulders back and Janus goes flying! He smashes to the mat, rises, Jay Dawg charges and clotheslines the man over the top rope and to the floor! Janus lands on his feet, staggers back, JD charges the far ropes, Janus trips over Beezel, JD rebounds, leaps and- Riley: “A Suicide Dive takes out Janus!” The action has spilled out to the floor and Kivell heads out there to deal with it. JD has mounted the big man once more and starts blasting away with right hands. Beezel manages to rise, puts a hand on JD’s shoulder and JD grabs it, rolls forward, brings Beezel down with a Judo Hiptoss, rolls to his feet, hauls Beezel up, looks over his shoulder to see Neilsen still down and-plants Beezel into the Jungler with a T-Bone Suplex! Neilsen yowls in pain as Beezel goes rolling and falls off the right side of the ramp. JD stands over Neilsen with a sinister smile on his face. He reaches down and-Michelle leaps on his back! Still with white foam on her lithe body, she has a tight grip on his neck-when JD grabs her hair and snapmares her to the ramp. She gets up slowly, holding her back, JD boots her in the gut, sticks her head between his legs, hauls her up in a powerbomb position, her skirt covers his head, he turns around and…holds it…holds it…holds it… Stevens: “What the hell is he doing!?!” Riley: “Enjoying himself.” And JD powerbombs her to the steel ramp! The fans gasp, JD smiles and-low blow by Neilsen doubles him over! Neilsen slowly rises, charges, grabs JD’s head, brings him with, steps over Janus, leaps, his feet hit the apron, frantically kicks up the apron to the bottom rope, middle, top, Neilsen kicks back, spins both men and- Stevens: “Blasts Jamie Drazon with a top rope bulldog on the floor!” Riley: “…that’s unique.” Neilsen snaps a few sandals against JD’s head and the reaches under the ring. He throws a trash can back and then pulls out a 2x4! The fans roar as Neilsen brings it down on JD, brings it up and-pauses before driving it right into Jay Dawg’s left kidney! Janus starts to stir and Neilsen turns to the man. He places the trash can near Janus and then places the 2x4 onto it, one end under Janus’ face, the other in the air. Neilsen then smiles, climbs onto the apron, turns, smirks, leaps, drops a leg onto the wood which then cracks the big man square in the face! Janus rolls back, clutching his face, and Neilsen smirks…only to get turned around by Beezel and Suplexed to the ramp! Neilsen howls in pain, Beezel hauls him up and starts blasting him again and again with right hands! Neilsen staggers back to the stage, Beezel charges and-goes flying from a hurricanrana! Before Neilsen can even rejoice, Jay Dawg jumps him from behind and takes him down! Stevens: “This is insane! How can one referee keep track of this?” Riley: “Simple…he can’t!” JD pounds away at Neilsen, the Jungler shoves him back, charges, JD catches him and-Neilsen goes flying off the left of the stage with a huge belly to belly! Neilsen shatters a table on the floor as the fans start chanting everyone’s favorite fecal call! JD smiles at the man, rolls his eyes into the back of his head and-they go flying back down as Beezel cracks him in the head with a swift crack of Beezel’s right foot! JD stumbles forward, wobbles as he reaches the edge, turns and-Beezel charges, grabs the unbalanced man’s head, leaps forward, brings JD with him off the stage and… Stevens&Riley: “Holy Shit!” Stevens: “Beezel just hit a swinging neckbreaker off the stage and to the floor!” Riley: “Both men are fuckin’ dead! Beezel’s crazy!” These three former Hardcore Gamer’s Champions writhe in agony as Janus starts to rise. He grabs the battered trash can and starts stalking towards his downed foes. He yells at Kivell to follow him and the man does. He reaches Beezel, spits at him and places the trash can by him on its side. He grabs Beezel’s head, sticks it between his legs, raises his arms high to a chorus of disgust, followed by bringing his thumb across his throat. Stevens: “He can’t be!” Riley: “He isn’t!” He does! Janus hauls Beezel up, the B-man’s arms wave frantically and-he shatters the can after a dark bomb! Janus throws an arm high, gets yelled at, grabs Beezel, hooks a leg for… ONE! Neilsen’s out! TWO! Jay Dawg’s out! THRE-NO! Beezel kicks out! Stevens: “Omigawd!” Riley: “How the hell did he kick out!” Janus can’t believe it! He shouts at Kivell, grabs him and throws him so hard that Kivell smashes into the barricade and cracks his frickin’ cranium in the process and…Kivell’s out cold! Janus grabs Beezel, sticks B’s head between his legs again and…Beezel drops to a knee and hits a low blow! Stevens: “Beezel hit a low blow?” Riley: “He has to be desperate.” Stevens: “Wouldn’t you be after doing a spinning neckbreaker of the stage and then suffering a Dark Bomb onto a trash can!” Beezel starts crawling towards a ladder that leads back up to the stage. Janus is down clutching the home team. Neilsen is out in the remnants of the table. JD is down clutching the back of his head, blood poking out between his fingers. Kivell is, well, Kivell’s simply out of it as well. Beezel makes it to the ladder. He starts to climb. Beezel slowly, slowly, slowly starts to make his way up. He inches closer and closer to the top and… JD’s on his feet! Stumbling around like a drunk blind man, he finally locks his eyes on the Beezel and starts going after him. Beezel gets a leg on the side of the stage and-JD grabs the other limp! He-gets kicked away, falls of the ladder and to the floor! The fall’s not so great and he gets to back to his feet, but Beezel’s now on the stage! The B-man stands as Jay Dawg scurries up the ladder. JD makes it up and-takes a weak kick to the ribs. He takes another. He takes another. He takes-grabs the leg, sweeps Beezel off his other foot, holds the original one and-starts spinning around it! Stevens: “Spinning toehold!” Riley: “Usually leads into-” JD smiles as Beezel howls in pain. He spins and spins and spin-JD flips over, brings Beezel with him and causes the man to crash to the stage with a whiplash powerbomb! JD smiles once more and starts spinning, again, once more. Beezel’s shouts of sheer agony sound all the worse coming through muffled by a mask. JD smiles, rolls his eyes back and leans in so Beezel can get a good look-and a good right hand! JD goes stumbling back, charges, Beezel-rolls out of the way of an elbow drop, stands, charges a seated JD and-blasts him in the face with two boots! JD goes down and the action takes a pause at the same time Beezel does. Stevens: “This…this is crazy.” Riley: “I’ve said that.” Stevens: “But it bears repeating.” Riley: “…ya’ know…you’re right. Everybody’s out. Beezel. Janus. Jamie “Jay Dawg” Drazon. Neil-” -sen is up! The fans rumble as the Hardcore King is finally back on his feet. He staggers over to Janus and starts pounding away at the big man’s head. Sandals slapping skin rings out as Neilsen goes wild! He hauls Janus up, whips him at the barricade parallel to the stage and-Janus reverses, Neilsen goes flying, smashes his gut into the barricade and flips over into this roaring Jungle Fan filled crowd! They chant for Neilsen even as the Jungler is slow to rise and Janus starts stalking closer. Janus shakes his head to get the stars out of his eyes as Neilsen makes it to his feet with the help of a crippled fan. Janus reaches over the barricade and-the crowd roars as Neilsen grabs the fan’s crutch, the cripple falls and-CRACK! Neilsen breaks his crutch over Janus’ head! Janus goes to a knee, Neilsen reaches over, grabs Janus’ hair and smashes it into the barricade! Janus goes falling back as Neilsen smirks. The big man’s started forming a crimson mask… Stevens: “This is getting bloody.” Riley: “Not just that, but Beezel and Jamie “Jay Dawg” Drazon are both on their feet.” That’s true Bobbi. The two men almost fell as they got to their feet, but now they are steady and ready. Jamie swings a right, Neilsen hops over the barricade, Beezel dodges, Janus blinks, Jay Dawg is grabbed around the belly, Neilsen grabs Janus’ hair, Beezel gets his hold reversed, Janus gets his face slammed into the barricade again, Jay Dawg brings Beezel down with a belly to back Suplex and starts riding him. Neilsen pulls Janus up. JD grabs Beezel’s left leg, the leg previously worked on, brings Beezel up, Beezel hops on his right foot and-sends JD spinning after a brutal enziguri to the back of his bloodied head! JD goes almost 450 before landing on his gut. Beezel stays down. Neilsen on the other hand grabs Janus in a reverse DDT position, looks out to the fans and shouts… NotJ: “Mother F**kin’ Swing-Time!” Stevens: “No way!” Riley: “Janus is almost a foot taller! He weighs three hundred and fifty fuckin’ pounds! There is no way Neilsen’s going to…” Neilsen grabs the top of Janus’ pants with his right hand, gets a grip on the hair on the back of the man’s head with his left and…Neilsen swings Janus out and up and…not even over his own head but… Neilsen smashes Janus down onto the ring barricade face first! Neilsen stumbles back and falls to his gut as… Stevens: “No way!” Beezel is up, charges, Jay Dawg’s on all fours, steps on Beezel’s back, leaps, pulls out a somersault and hits… Riley: “A somersault leg drop from the stage to the barricade!” Stevens: “That’s like thirty freaking feet!” The fans chant, “Holy Shit! Holy Shit! Holy Shit!,” again as Beezel falls back, Janus falls into the fans, Kivell rises and…Neilsen lays a hand on Beezel’s chest! IT’S… ONE! Stevens: “Beezel took himself out of it!” TWO! Riley: “Neilsen wins! Neilsen wins! Neilsen-!” THRE-NO! Riley: “-doesn’t win!” Stevens: “Beezel kicked out! I can’t believe it!” Neilsen swears, runs at the barricade, leaps onto it, Beezel rises, Neilsen hits a moonsault, Beezel catches his sandaled feet, flips him back forward, a few fans pull Janus up and-Neilsen wraps his legs around his leg and sends him flying with a huge assisted hurricanrana! The big man nearly crushes three fans as he flies. Neilsen laughs as he rises, turns, leans over the barricade and-CRACK! Beezel kicks his cranium! Neilsen’s head snaps back, Beezel leapfrogs over the barricade, wraps his legs around Neilsen’s head and sends the Jungler flying with a hurricanrana of his own! Beezel goes after Neilsen in this wildly screaming throng of not quite thespians. Neilsen is helped to his feet by a fan and-eats a right hand! He staggers back and eats another! Neilsen is now walking away from the man called El Scorcho and before too long they are lost in a sea of humanity…or at least, a very raucous crowd that might be termed humanity by the less aware. Stevens: “Where the hell did they go?” Riley: “These peons have swallowed them whole!” The only way to keep track of the men is by the tightly packed portions of the crowd. Finally, the majority of the fans roar as Neilsen appears again, followed by being clotheslined over the barricade by a reappearing Beezel right next to the ring! Beezel hops over, grabs Neilsen and hurls him into the ring! Beezel slides in, charges Neilsen and-small package! The fans shout… “ONE!” “TWO!” “THREE!!!!!!!” But Kivell’s not even in the ring! The rapidly running ref slides in, gets ready to count and-Beezel kicks out! Neilsen is up, yells at Matty K and-Beezel gets in a School Boy! ONE! TWO! Neilsen kicks out! Stevens: “If Kivell was only in the ring, this match would be over and Neilsen would hold a victory over the King!” Riley: “Over the King?” Stevens: “Figuratively because this match was booked because Neilsen defeated Jay Dawg, so King has sent two more men to help out. He just didn’t quite count on the way these men’s personalities would clash.” The aforementioned Jamie “Jay Dawg” Drazon finally rises on the stage. He sees Neilsen and Beezel both now standing and blasting each other with right hands. JD sprints down the ramp and…Neilsen cracks Beezel with a right, Beezel swings, Neilsen ducks, pushes Beezel’s back, he rebounds, Neilsen drops his head, B leaps over, Neilsen turns, swings, Beezel ducks, rebounds, leaps, Neilsen turns-right into a Flying Forearm! Neilsen hits the mat, the fans cheer as Beezel pumps his arms and-then groan as Jay Dawg hits a German! Another one! A released one folds Beezel in half! JD gets up and-snaps his head towards the Jungle King. He waits on him as Janus rises. Stevens: “This can’t be good.” Riley: “What’s Jay Dawg waiting for?” Neilsen slowly rises to all fours, to a knee, to-boot to his gut, JD crosses the mans arms, shouts, “This is MY Revenge!,” and-Neilsen flips him over in a back body drop! Hits him as he rises with a Superkick! Plants him as he gets up again with a Book End! Neilsen pops up, spins 180, falls back and lands on JD’s chest for… ONE! TWO! THRE-A boot by Janus breaks it up! Stevens: “No!” Riley: “Neilsen would’ve had it if it wasn’t for Janus.” Stevens: “And the King’s plan comes shinning through. That crafty bastard.” Janus grabs Neilsen’s head, hauls him up, whips him at the turnbuckles, Neilsen leaps, lands on top, leaps back, twists in mid-air, pumps his arms and-Chokeslam! Stevens: “Janus caught him by the throat and the very second Neilsen’s sandals hit the mat Janus hauled him back up and brought him down in a horrendous chokeslam!” Riley: “Neilsen must be dead!” Janus pumps his arms and-Jamie Drazon and Beezel both slam forearms into the big man’s back! This incredibly unlikely duo keep pounding away, but Janus swat them both back and they go flying to the mat! Both men roll backwards, rise, Janus charges, double clotheline-ducked, he rebounds, and-double dropkicks…don’t even take him off his feet! He staggers back, hits the ropes, Beezel and Drazon grabs him, whip him at the announcers, Janus rebounds, they swing, he ducks, rebounds, they turn and-get turned inside out by a huge double clothesline! The fans cheer for this spot! Stevens: “I can’t believe it!” Riley: “Hey, you have to get behind the big men. There’s just something about a power display.” Janus reaches down, grabs both men by the throat, hauls them up to their feet, forces them to bend backwards, talks some shit and-double nutshot! The fans roar, Beezel and JD both slap on a side headlock, throw a big arm over their own head and- Stevens: “Double-!” Nothing as JD and BZ barely manage to even get Janus off his feet! They try again and-they get lifted off theirs! The fans roar and-both men come back down and get a- Riley: “Double small package!” ONE! TWO! THR-Janus kicks both men off! Stevens: “What would be the call there!?!” Riley: “Hell if I know!” Both men charges and-get taken back down again as Janus blasts them with a double clothesline! Beezel gets up and tries trading blows but-JD rises, grabs the chair and cracks Janus’ cranium! He then turns on Beezel and smashes his skull! JD then turns and-Neilsen punches the chair right into JD’s face! JD stumbles back, Neilsen charges and-JD DDT! Neilsen eats canvas! The fans moan as JD rises. He grabs Neilsen and holds him up. Beezel slowly rises and-he charges J- JD: “Hey!” Beezel slows. JD: “You want these fans to love you!? You want the King to love you!? Then hold his fuckin’ ass!” Beezel slowly look around, lowers his head and…does as JD suggested. JD and Beezel then drag Neilsen in front of the table JD had brought to the ring and set up in the corner right of the ramp. Janus starts to stir and- JD: “He beat you and Fugue! He called you Jaundice! You better-” Before Jamie Drazon can even spit it out, Janus charges and- Stevens: “GORE! GORE! GORE!” Riley: “Through the table!” Stevens: “Neilsen is dead!” Janus pumps his arms as he rises, the table shattered. Beezel grabs the chair, unfolds it and sets it down. Janus turns and-DDT by the Beez! Beezel quickly rises, runs, leaps off the chair, hits the second rope, flips back and hits a lionsault! JD claps with a sinister smirk as Beezel then climbs over Neilsen, gets to the top rope, leaps off and hits a-Shooting Star Senton! Stevens: “The Meteor Shower!” Riley: “It’s ov-” Beezel is rising, clutching his gut when-JD grabs him, wraps his own arms around his neck and- Riley: “-er!” Stevens: “JD’s Revenge!” The cross-armed pedigree takes Beezel out, Jamie shouts in victory and-a suddenly risen Neilsen charges, JD ducks a right hand, Neilsen rebounds, leaps, JD places two hands under his gut, launches him to the sky and-Neilsen falls, slaps on a side headlock, twists and- STUNNER!!! Stevens: “Neilsen McTwist! Neilsen McTwist! Neilsen McTwist!” Riley: “It’s over! It’s over! Oh my God it’s fucking over!” Neilsen scrambles to the downed Dawg, grabs a leg, rolls his back onto JD’s chest and gets… ONE! TWO! THREE!!!! DING! DING! DING! Funyon: “Ladies and gentlemen, the winner, the one…the only…the Hardcore King! His name is…NEILSEN…OF…THE…(Crowd: “Mother Fuckin’!”)…JUUUUUNNNNNGGLLLLLLE!!!” The crowd explodes as “Oooo…ah ah ah ah!” also explodes…over the loud speakers that is. Michelle runs in and grabs her King in a tight embrace. Neilsen holds one hand high as she covers his face with worried kisses. The Jungler raises himself with a slight assist from Michelle, limps over to Funyon and takes the mic. NotJ: “(Pants.) Heh…heh…heh… Hey Brian… Two guys and a crooked ref couldn’t beat me. Jay dawg couldn’t beat me. Three men couldn’t beat me. Wouldn’t you love to see…that you also couldn’t beat me?” The crowd cheers wildly. NotJ: “Because I AM the true fuckin’ King…and you just ain’t no thing. Roar mother f**ker…” Neilsen drops the mic as the fans go crazy. Stevens: “Don’t go anywhere as the Lockdown continues!” Riley: “You won’t want to miss this!”

Oh...I'll do the write ups. Heh heh heh...

Nah...I just set you on fire. I won't...well...maybe I will...

#2 Ranked! Only three more months until I get a World title shot! Booyah! Crap...can't...lose...now...

I kick ass! That said...I'd just like to applaud the other winners who aren't me and... "your pants to get past 20." ...f**kin' rocked. EDIT: ...now that I've read what's up... I'm psyched for Danny/Drazon II. Beezel has me incrediably interested as I don't remember who in the MC used Joker's Wild. Although, it could be being used just to gain King's favor. The Deja Vu/Justice and Rule match rocked! I'd love to see another funny ass rematch. The nipple twister of doom has to be a finisher though. EDIT 2: Congrats Flesher. That said...I'd like to see Frost's match posted some time to compare the two.

Neilsen’s History…the greatest history in the history of the federation!: Matches are in bold -Signed up two posts after Stubby. He went to IGNWF and Neilsen went to the IGNJL. -Wrestled on the first IGNJL show with a loss to the Exploding Chicken. -Immediately criticized for his language in his promos. -Defeated Mercury in the first round of the first JL World Champion Tourney. -Feuds with BIO, Prime Evil, Bobby Riley and particularly Exploding Chicken. -Loses to Bobby Riley in World Title tourney. -Gets AIDS in someone else’s promo, then it’s taken away somehow as a dying Neilsen scared more people than a healthy Neilsen. -Bongo, Neilsen’s pet elephant, appears in an Exploding Chicken promo. -Defeats a pretty boy Grimedogg to become the IGNJL European Champion with an accidental assist from the Dahm Triplets. -Neilsen refuses the title by throwing it out to the crowd, saying the only title that matters in a Junior League is the World Title. Drew/Rane forces Neilsen to defend it. -Neilsen calls out “the scrawny bitch” World Champion Fallout time and time again. -Neilsen retains the European title by defeating the Exploding Chicken. -Bongo dies. -A unification ladder match between Neilsen and Fallout is scheduled. -Mass bump cancels match as Neilsen enters the IGNWF! -On his very first show, Neilsen defeats Spike for the Hardcore Gamer’s Championship a few weeks before Spike wins World Championship. -On that show, Neilsen also joins the Corporation featuring owner Jayson Grant, his son-in-law Angel, Divefire, Danny Vigilante, Mr. Galatea, Chris Wilson and as an occasional ally Jayson’s son, Damian Diablo. -Neilsen tells the IGNWF to fear him. And they will. -At the second IGNWF PPV, Neilsen retains the HCG title by defeating Grimedogg in a Lion’s Den with help from a swerve with the Dahms. Neilsen then drops the women after the match. -Grimedogg snaps and starts shouting, “GRIMEDOGG’S HARDCORE!,” after Neilsen kept claiming a blond pretty boy could never win the HCG title. He also changes his music and wrestling style to match the aggressive style of Neilsen. -Neilsen retains the HCG title against G.O.A.T. afterwards he symbolically crucified the man who is in a cult-like stable -Spike wins World Championship. Neilsen constantly degrades him. -Neilsen and Grimedogg continue to have problems. Neilsen speaks his while Grimey bashes anyone he sees with a lead pipe. -Neilsen and Grimedogg defeat Light-Heavyweight Champion Mayor McCheese and Exploding Chicken respectively in a tag match. NotJ and GD beat each other and MM and EC got caught in the middle. NotJ pinned MM at the same time GD pinned EC. -Neilsen gets sick and tired of GD. He challenges him to a match at the next PPV where no matter what the outcome, “Neilsen” and “Grimedogg” would never battle over the HCG title again. -IGNWF Corporate Christmas. Neilsen retains his HCG title against Grimedogg. The match featured action in the ring, in the back and through the crowd. In the biggest Jungler stunt to date, Neilsen gets yanks off the second deck and crashes 30 ft. through the stage. He is not seen for 15 minutes as Jayson and GD try to track him down. He comes back to win. -Neilsen is booked in a match with Crucifix Phoenix and a mysterious masked man named Neo. -Neo pins Crucifix Phoenix and Neilsen for the HCG Championship. Neilsen was sent to the hospital during the match, returned, hit McTwists on both men, climbs the top rope and-Spike took Neilsen out with a spiked bat, allowing Neo to cover Phoenix for the pin. Neo reveals himself as GD. The name was used to allow him to compete for the title. -Neilsen refuses to use another name to allow a rematch and is therefore no longer in HCG title contention. -Neilsen defeats Tag Team Champions Angelous and Molock, the Fallen, in a handicapped match to declare the #1 Contender to Fallout’s ICTV title. Neilsen also turns a run-in Nuclear Meltdown attempt by Fallout into a McTwist. -Mr. G dies and DVD break up. -Rane beats Spike for World Championship. -Neilsen insults Outcast for being handed the other #1 Contender spot while Neilsen had to beat the Tag Champs to earn his. -Neilsen defeats Fallout and Outcast in a ladder match for the ICTV title at Clusterfuck. -Neilsen=Ratings -Neilsen challenges Angel to a submissions match to prove he’s more than a garbage wrestler. -Neilsen retains his ICTV title against Angel in a submissions match. Afterwards, Neilsen places Angel’s leg in a chair and frog splashes it to break his leg. -Neilsen receives flack for breaking his stablemate’s, and his boss’ son-in-law’s, leg. -Outcast pins Neilsen to win the ICTV Championship. Neilsen’s first loss in the IGNWF. Outcast’s valet hit Neilsen with a chair, causing the loss. -Laura is assaulted and unwilling to talk about it. -Neilsen is accused of rape. -Divefire takes the side of Outcast and Outcast’s friend Bobby Riley against Neilsen. -Outcast defeats Neilsen and Danny Vigilante and Divefire when Outcast makes Neilsen tap out for the first time in his career. Divefire and Danny were outside the ring. -Neilsen gets flack for allegedly raping Laura. -The Corporation is just Neilsen and Danny at this point…maybe Wilson. No one really cared. -Rane versus Neilsen goes to a no-contest as everyone interferes. -Outcast and Divefire defeat Neilsen and Danny V at (?) 13th Hour. Danny turns on Neilsen, Bobby runs in and the four men beat the hell outta’ Neilsen. They then announce they’ve formed D.O.A. -Later in the show, Neilsen, Simon Flare (Stubby) and Chris Wilson help PDS defeat Rane for the World title. They form the Dark Phoenix Dynasty. -Neilsen declares D.O.A. is Dead on Arrival for choosing to go over on him and challenges Bobby Riley to a Lion’s Den match. -Light-Heavyweight Champion Bobby Riley defeats Neilsen in a non-title Lion’s Den match. -Neilsen is f**kin’ pissed. -Neilsen versus Spike versus Damian Diablo never happens as all three men had transportation problems. -Neilsen defeats Spike and Bobby Riley for the Light-Heavyweight Championship by pinning both men following a double McTwist. -Not sure what all happens next, but here’s the gist. -Neilsen defeats Cyclone Comet in a non-title match. -Cyclone Comet defeats Neilsen and Rane in a triple threat match. CC and Rane were the Tag Champs and Rane helped CC win. -Divefire wins the World title and Neilsen insults his win as being a fluke, demands the first title shot and his request is granted. -Sacred becomes #1 Contender to Neilsen’s title. -Divefire retains the World Championship against Neilsen. Sacred interfered to cost Neilsen the match. -Sacred defeats Neilsen for the Light-Heavyweight Championship. -Jayson signs a “Lose your Gimmick” match between Neilsen and Comet. If Neilsen lost, he couldn’t swear. If Comet lost, he would have to unmask. -At a PPV, Neilsen versus Cyclone Comet goes to a no contest. Neither man loses gimmick. -Not sure what happens from here as I started to get worn out, but here’s some stuff… -Cyclone Comet defeats Neilsen in a Hell in the Cell. This was a World Championship tourney match. -Comet and Divefire retire…so Neilsen stays to help the fed. OOC. -Neilsen defeats Mercury, Mark Stevens and Chris Raynor (maybe Storm) by pinning Mercury. -Mark Stevens defeats Neilsen and Angelous in a triple threat table match by putting Neilsen through a table. -Outcast beats Neilsen after help by Riley, Divefire and finally Angel. Angel breaks Neilsen’s leg. -At a PPV, Neilsen defeats Angel in a Stairway to Hell match. -Stubby wins a Battle Royal match for his World Title against Neilsen, Fallout, Edwin and a couple others. -Neilsen says this match wasn’t worth his time. His first World Championship reign would be a glorious victory, not one won by throwing someone over a rope. -Neilsen defeats Jay Dawg in a no-dq match. JD takes 67 nutshots and Wilson and Grunge enter to further brutalize the man. -The joke that was the Pack is formed and I was barely around to care. -Wilson left the Pack and formed a group with Hville Thugg and Reese Black. Neilsen didn’t even notice. -Neilsen talks about retiring -Neilsen then swerves the fans by demanding a shot at nearly every Championship, otherwise he’ll leave for the WWF. -Edwin MacPhisto retains the U.S. Championship against Neilsen in a Stairway to Hell match. -Hell if I know as my computer crashed… -I come back a month later to find out… -Neilsen and Perfect Bo defeated Hville Thugg and Mistress Sarah for the Tag Team Championship when Sarah turned on Bo. -Don’t know what happened after that but Neilsen kept wrestling without me…a testament to the Jungle King. -Spark and Chris Raynor defeat Neilsen and Bo for the Tag Team Championship. Not sure if that’s who it was. -Neilsen announces his mind is back in the game. -Neilsen defeats Jay Dawg. Jay Dawg was quite impressive in this outing. -Neilsen defeats Christian Fury in a first round World Championship #1 Contender for Genesis II match despite Bo’s interference. -Neilsen defeats Kaimen Roja in a second round World Championship #1 Contender for Genesis II match thanks to Bo’s interference. -Neilsen and Bo are at each other’s throats…promising to meet each other at Genesis II. -In the first time since the show after Corporate Christmas, Neilsen faces and defeats Grimedogg again in a final round #1 Contender for Genesis II match. Awesome match which saw each man perform the others finishing move, each man kicks out of the others finisher before GD finally fell to a second McTwist. -Perfect Bo loses his final round match. -Genesis II is booked to take place in Neilsen’s hometown. -Sept. 11, 2001 -Genesis II Main Event: ELM defeats Neilsen, Wilson, King, Stevens and Stubby -Neilsen retires as I join the Army. -Due to an administrative error, I return between Basic and AIT. -Neilsen defeats World Champion Hville Thugg and Perfect Bo in a handicapped match when he pins Thugg. -Neilsen defeats Bo in the Perfect Challenge. First fall regular, second no-DQ and third table. Bo won first by DQ when Neilsen couldn’t pin him, Neilsen wins second after chair shot and third after putting Bo through a table. -I leave with orders to Stubby to book a match between Neilsen and Suicide King to declare the true King of the IGNWF. No one else knows I’m going to no show. -Match apparently never happens as King retires. -The SWF Arrives!- -The IGNWF closes and a whole new fed begins right after Neilsen leaves. -One year after his last match, Neilsen returns. -At From the Fire, Neilsen defeats Frost for the ICTV Championship. Neilsen then hands the title back to Frost. -Neilsen says a match for a title that he won two years prior was an insult. -Wildchild defeats Neilsen by DQ. -Neilsen defeats Michael Craven in a “Can’t Spell Furniture without Fun!” match. -Neilsen storms King’s office and gets in his face. -MVS defeats Judge Mental and Neilsen when he pins Judge. -Neilsen defeats Janus and Fugue when he forces Eddie Long to make a legit count. -King suspends Neilsen for assaulting Eddie after the match. -Neilsen kicks the crap out of the SWF security. -Neilsen kidnaps King’s woman, forces him to reinstate the Jungler and then the woman, Michelle, leaps into Neilsen’s arms. -King books a match between Neilsen and the nutshot wonder, Jay Dawg in an Inferno Match. -Neilsen defeats Jay Dawg in an Inferno match with help from his new woman, Michelle. -Jay Dawg defeats Janus, Beezel and Neilsen in a Four Corner Hardcore Match when he pins Janus. There ya’ go, a brief Neilsen history…well…maybe not so brief. But a few matches are missing due to how long ago they were. Most losses, not recent ones, were no-shows as various events caused me to lose my passion…temporarily. One match I know is missing is Neilsen and Mercury defeating another tag team but I forget who, and there are sure to be many others missing, but I wrestled for so long, you can’t blame me. Anyway, there ya’ go…and for the record… Exploding Chicken rocks!

Heh...sweet. Bring it bitch.

Chicken gave me Bongo. Chicken also gave me an injection of AIDS. Chicken took away the AIDS when Neilsen started tearing through Prime Evil without a care. I got rid of Bongo after using him to even the odds against PE again and again.

Given that I've been in more matches than probably anyone else in the history of the fed other than possibly JD...I'll chime in on this. Look at my history. I went from undefeatable to losing streaks that were just horrendous to undefeatable and back and forth. Everyone will hit this wall if they stick around long enough, especially with the burnout factor. I may have had one bonus that y'all don't got in that I could no-show for months at a time without getting booted simply because of who I was. But to win, there are some things you need to figure out. 1) What works for your character? What kind of wrestler is he? Neilsen wins in a large extent because his opponents always look just as good if not better than he does in the matches until a desperate move or a cheap shot by the Jungle King at the end. That may be a factor as to why he never got many World title shots, but he wins almost every other match. 2) Don't go too far with it. Two quick examples. My two losses here were because I made Neilsen look too good and in one case my opponent look too good. Against MVS and Judge, I had everyone interfere, Neilsen appear only at the end and McTwist not just his foes but TNT, Flesher, ELM and threw powder in Frost's eyes. Even gave JD a low blow. And I'm not shocked I lost. Then against Wildchild, I decided to write a promo longer than the match. Then I had Wildchild hit damn near everything he had on Neilsen only to have Neilsen pull out a McTwist to win. Neilsen didn't do enough. And hey...even I've lost to MVS. 3) Use colorful commentary. In every Neilsen match, you'll have "steel meets skull" or "cracks his cranium" in there. Comedy isn't even needed, although I occasionally use it, as long as the announcers relate relevant material. 4) Don't blame the markers. Just work at writting your best every time, picture the beginning and end before you start. Figure out the story. My return: Neilsen does everything he can to take away Frost's size advantage. The beginning and end were already figured out and that was the story. The Inferno match's story was the flames and Neilsen's left knee. Blaming the markers is something I never condoned...even though I did it plenty of times before...just make it so they have no choice but to pick your match. Practice makes perfect. 5) Not for you but for Stevens... Can I get one of those "smite" buttons? Sounds kinky...

Unless it was during the period between when I lost the Stairway to Hell match against Edwin and then returned right after Bo and I lost the belts...you never beat me Merc. I would have to cry. Although you have gained my...not admiration, but...not quite disgust by being Tryst.

LOL

Yeah, that's f**kin' cool. Even cooler was the time I shoved a broom up his ass. And he no-sold it! Son of a...

Thanks Eddie Mac. It's been fixed. Huh...didn't know Stubby was in Genesis II...thought he'd retired by then. But as for Angel... Hell if I know. He would always disappear, get World Title shots, lose and disappear again. Only CC was really pissed I broke his leg without permission. Everyone else enjoyed it.

Hey JD...you weren't humiliated. You looked pretty good in the match, made Neilsen tap out and the only "humiliation" was revenge on Ash's behalf. As for Gruesomecore...it had to be for the two "Hardcore Kings" when they met. The vomit spot was only because JD ate a urinal cake and if I ate one...well...ew...

SINGLES MATCH Either US TITLE MATCH or NON-TITLE MATCH Mike Van Siclen vs. Michael Craven© WINNER: Michael Craven wins either way as I really dug his character. SINGLES MATCH “The Judge” William Hearford© vs. Kris WINNER: Judge Mental because he'll be able to write Kris very well. FOUR CORNERS MATCH HARDCORE (NON-TITLE) MATCH Janus vs. Beezel© vs. Jay Dawg© vs. Neilsen of the Jungle WINNER: Neilsen of the Jungle in an...what's the opposite of an upset? Anyway, I'm really wanting to see how Beezel does. SINGLES MATCH Kross vs. Ejiro Fasaki© WINNER: Kross...because I picked Judge earlier. MAIN EVENT TNT vs. Frost SPECIAL GUEST REFEREE: Tom Flesher© WINNER: Frost or TNT writes a better match than Tommy. That said...TNT wins. Muaha...Muahaha...MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

I'm getting some ass this time? Now that scares me more than anything you've ever said JD. And besides, Neilsen gets ass all the time. As for the match, King might have me this time as I'm not sure who Beezel is and...well...yeah. I also have a bad record in four corners matches. But do the men have to tag or not?

Neilsen walks into the room...and then realizes he walked into the wrong exceptional promo.

Wrestlers Name: Neilsen of the Jungle Height: 6'3" Weight: 245 lbs. Hometown: Chicago, Illinois Age: 25 Face/Heel: Heel Stable: None, formerly of the Corporation, the Dark Phoenix Dynasty and the Pack Valet: Michelle Weapon(s): Brings steel chair to the ring. Nicknames: NotJ, Jungle King, Hardcore King, the Jungler, the King of the Mother F**kin' Jungle, the King of Hardcore. Quote: "I AM Neilsen, you can't beat me, you can't outfight me, you can't out-f**kin'-think me bitch! But you can, and will, fear me... Looks: Shaved head, skin on sides and real short brown on top. A black wifebeater. Camoflage cargo shorts; black, tan, brown and green. Black elbowpads, black kneepads and black gloves w/o fingers. Wears sandals. No facial hair. Finely toned. Inch and half long scar in his left eyebrow. Upper body horribly scarred. Ring Entrance: Comes out with Michelle hanging off him to Disturbed's "Sickness" Stats: Strength: 2 Speed: 6 Vitality: 4 Charisma: 8 (I didn't know what Vitality was back in the day, but Neilsen is one vital bastard.) Style: Lucha-libre/Brawler Notes: Neilsen wrestles like he talks. Sudden explosive assaults. Desperate actions. Moves pulled out of his ass. He will sell like crazy but it’s nearly impossible to keep him down for three which often causes his opponents to lose their temper. Speaking of which, Neilsen loses his all the time, often causing him to gain a second wind or forget that he’s injured which winds up biting him in the ass. He will use weapons, ropes, intimidate the referee and a chair almost always winds up being used. Neilsen often attacks his foes before the bell so he won’t be able to be disqualified yet. Low blows take the place of sleepers. Neilsen will usually have a game plan going in, but forget it soon after the bell rings. He also hurts himself as often as he hurts his foes. If he didn’t rely on his weapons and cheating tactics so much, he’d show impressive wrestling ability on par with Shawn Michaels, but he does rely more on weapons. Neilsen also has no care for rules and refs. If he’s in danger of losing, he’s not above, definitely not above, getting himself disqualified. He’s also a great counter wrestler, but his counters are quite unique. Signature moves: 1.Moonsault 2.Throwing Powder 3.Stomping testes 4.Juvi Driver 5.Book-End 6.Five Star Frog Splash 7.Tornado DDT 8.Legdrop on a chair on a skull. 9.Top Rope bulldog 10.Hurricanrana Un-common moves: Dropkicks, drop toeholds, sunset flips, grabs a limb and flips over foe, snapping that limp back in process, reverse anything I have above this, i.e. reverse tornado DDT, reverse Hurrcanranas Rare moves: 1.Cloverbomb (Puts opponents legs in Texas Cloverleaf position, reaches through to their shirt or top of their pants, strains to pull them up, and powerbombs them down with their legs still locked, then it gets flipped into a Texas Cloverleaf.) 2.Figure Four 3.Rumbler (Lift foe in a suplex, run forward, drops them down face first and throws his own legs to the side in a reverse suplex/DDT type manuever. Looks like a "T" from above.) 4.Wet Dream (Neilsen's running, jumps, slaps on a sleeper, both spin approx. 180 and Neilsen slams their head down to the mat.) 5.Swing-Time (Has a reverse DDT hold on foe, their head under left arm, Neilsen's right hand grabbing top left of their pants, he then swings them up and to the left, holding their pants and hair, and then slams them down face first.) 6.Fear Factor (Neilsen grabs them in a belly-to-belly type, his left arm over their right shoulder clasped to his right arm that's under thier left, hauls them up and around, twists his arm and sits out, causing them to land in an inverted X-Factor type position.) 7.Whiplash (Neilsen has his foe in a reverse DDT position, head under his left, their right arm under Neilsen's own, Jungler spins them around, kicks out his legs, plants them in a cutter type move, flips over, puts the right arm into a half-nelson and his own left across their Adam's apple in a blatant choke. Finishers: 1.Neilsen McTwist (Hardyz' twist o' fate into stunner.) Tag Finishers: 1.Neilsen MacTwist (Tag Finisher: 3D with McTwist instead of Diamond Cutter.) 2.Tiger McTwamer (Only done with the spirit of Mr. G. The most devasting move in the history of wrestling. No one knows how it’s done or what it looks like but it kicks f**kin’ ass.) Notes: Hardcore, High-Flyin', Foul-Mouthed F**k. Valets Name: Michelle Height: 5’5” Weight: ??? lbs. Hometown: Chicago, Illinois Age: 23 Face/Heel: She’s hot. Stable: Neilsen’s Valet: Neilsen Weapon(s): Brings whatever Neilsen tells her to the ring. Nicknames: MotJ, the Hardcore Bitch and (Neilsen will never call her this but...) the Queen of the Mother F**kin' Jungle, the Jungle Queen. Quote: "HE IS Neilsen of the mother f**kin’ Jungle! You can't beat him, you can't outfight him, you can't out-f**kin'-think him bitch! But you can, and will, fear him…” Looks: Long brown hair, wears a black bra to the ring, ripped incredibly short black skirt, black panties. Ring Entrance: Comes out hanging off of Neilsen. Comes out to Disturbed’s “Sickness.” Stats: Strength: 1 Speed: 5 Vitality: 2 Charisma: 5 Style: Cat Fight Moves: Tears at eyes with her nails, kicks to balls, uses weapons, runs away. Notes: She will do anything to make sure her man wins by any means necessary. Future Notes: The longer she’s around Neilsen, the more she’ll change and the more of a threat she’ll become. Bio: She served for years as the Executive Assistant (Secretary) for every IGNWF and then SWF Commissioner. She always had a thing for Neilsen but was to shy to do anything about it. Once he left, she started dating the Suicide King. She was the witness to Neilsen’s arrival into the SWF. She then turned her back on the Suicide King and helped Neilsen get reinstated in the SWF. Since Neilsen freed her financially and sexually, she’s become far less conservative than she used to be. All this leaves two questions… How would Neilsen treat a woman and what kind of woman would be with Neilsen?

Heh...

1. Steiners 3. Road Warriors 5. Michaels & Diesel 7. Hardy Boyz 8. Smoking Gunns 6. Benoit & Angle 4. The Rockers 2. Hart Foundation --------------------------------------------------- 1. Demolition 3. Owen/Bulldog 12. Powers of Pain 7. New Age Outlaws 8. Money Inc. 6. Edge & Christian 4. Dudley Boyz 2. British Bulldogs

Bah...now it just adds to the Neilsen mythos. At the time though, it did piss me off because of the downward spiral I experienced afterwards. Of course, the no-showing probably didn't help.

Hey, let's run with this storylines are basically everything Neilsen's career was, and even currently is in a way, built around. I just run with whatever CC gives me and have a way of making the most of things. It's why I am a King, and you're a schmuck... OC: "I was a muse! A muse has no place in wrestling!" And thank you Frosty, I do my best.