FAKE YOU! TV with Eric Garguilo and John House
Lyguila vs Silver Tyger.
Match Background: Tyger is making his debut at this show.
The Match: Lyguila strikes Tyger. Tyger blocks a kick from Lyguila. Lyguila walks into a high dropkick from Silver Tyger, almost losing several teeth in the process. Tyger whips Lyguila into the turnbuckles...and the ref is crushed! Power drive elbow by Silver Tyger. That sounds like a feature on a 4 x 4, doesn't it. Cover, but there's no one to count for Silver Tyger! Lyguila powers out of a headlock. Second rope flying axe handle, Tyger goes down. One day, Lyguila might even consider coming off the top with that. You know...for more impact and stuff. Flying cross body off the top rope! There's a two count on the pin. Diamond Dust from Lyguila and Tyger is out! Pinfall attempt: ONE...TWO...NO! I would have bought that as the finish! Tyger counters an arm wringer with an elbow to the side of the head. Super kick by Silver Tyger. Hooks the leg! ONE...TWO...NO! Lyguila once again takes the advantage after blocking a few punches and connecting with some forearms. Lyguila has Silver Tyger down on the canvas and is ascending the corner. Through the air, Firebird Splash! 1....2....3.
My Opinion: They definitely need to hook up again, I don't care what anyone says. ***1\2
Garguilo: Big victory for the highflying Japanese superstar. I’m sure we’ll be seeing both of these men competing for the Junior Heavyweight title in the coming months
(65/32/98)
Lobo is backstage, and announces that tonight we will see John Zandig and The Messiah fight one on one.
Lobo- For the past week, I’ve been bombarded with phone calls from the Messiah. Every waking hour, the phone rings and every time I get the same excuses and the constant whining from him about how he wants a one-on-one title shot against John Zandig, about how the Wifebeater put him off his game at Divide and Conquer and how I’m only looking after John because I’m his friend. Well Messiah, I’m sick and tired of your excuses. I know you’re here tonight and I know John Zandig is here tonight. I know John Zandig can kick your ass and I want him to do it in a title match TONIGHT LIVE ON FAKE YOU! TV
(crowd cheers)
And I want to see John Zandig kick your ass, so I’m going to do it up close and in person….AS THE GUEST REFEREE!!
House- That isn’t fair Eric, Lobo is one of John Zandig’s closest friends. The odds are stacked against the Messiah.
Garguilo- Are you kidding me? We can trust Lobo, he’s proven that over the past few weeks. We need someone who wont be intimidated by a match of this magnitude and the commissioner is just the man to do that
(47)
Adam Flash is backstage. He was out there to tell Jimmy Rave that he was going to discombobulate him. Great, now I've got to look that word up. Time to sit back and watch.
Flash- Jimmy Rave, I went into last nights match seeing if I thought you deserved to be the Iron Man champion. Well let me tell you this Jimmy, I don’t think you deserve any respect as Iron Man champ. Sure your hand was raised in victory, but at the end, who was left in a crumpled heap on the canvas and who walked out on his own two feet? Being Iron Man champion isn’t just about winning matches, it’s about being able to carry the title with dignity. Well Jimmy Rave, seeing you beaten to a pulp on the mat, needing help to get your ass out of the ring…that’s not what I call dignity. Don’t think that you’ll keep that belt for long Jimmy- it’ll soon be gone in a Flash.
(59)
Ring Crew Express vs CKNY.
Match Background: Both teams suffered losses at Divide and Conquer and need to get back to their winning ways. Only one of them will tonight…
The Match: Flying elbow from Dunn connects. Flying cross body off the top rope! Hooks the leg for a two count. Tag to Marcos. Ring Crew Express whip Young into the ropes and hit a double backdrop. Niles Young takes a knee lift from Marcos. *sigh* Running knee lifts always remind me of the late Curt Hennig. There's a two count on the pin. Marcos hits a short arm drag on Young. Marcos misses a big legdrop after stalling too long. Young face jams Marcos. Young tags out to Cory Kastle. Cory Kastle hits a rolling kick on Marcos. Konnan has ruined any chance for me ever enjoying this maneuver again with his shitty execution of it. Flying reverse elbow by Cory Kastle. Marcos once again takes the advantage after blocking a few punches and connecting with some forearms. Tag between Marcos and Dunn. Lightning kick by Dunn on Kastle. Power drive elbow by Dunn. That sounds like a feature on a 4 x 4, doesn't it. Pinfall attempt: ONE...TWO...NO! Dunn strikes Kastle. Cory Kastle fights out of a grapple. Super kick by Cory Kastle. Cory Kastle moves in for the kill. Superkick! 1....2....3.
My Opinion: Sadly, a 1\2* match.
House: HA HA! Big win there for CKNY. They’re regaining momentum.
Garguilo- They need to regain momentum after the way that the H8 Club derailed them at Divide and Conquer.
House- Will you shut up Garguilo? That’s in the past, CKNY are looking to the future.
(52/38/66)
B-Boy vs Jack Evans.
Match Background: B-Boy is a main contender for Teddy Hart’s Junior Heavyweight title. While Jimmy Jacobs won the battle royale to determine the number one contender, B-Boy came second and is looking to consolidate his place in the Junior Heavyweight rankings. A win over Hart’s close friend Jack Evans will help.
The Match: B-Boy takes a flying neckbreaker from Jack Evans. Super kick by Jack Evans. There's a two count on the pin. Jack Evans misses a big legdrop after stalling too long. Dropkick connects to the BUTT of the jaw and Evans goes down. Evans takes a flying neckbreaker from B-Boy. There's a two count on the pin. Springboard dropkick from B-Boy. Nicely done. Pinfall attempt: ONE...TWO...NO! Hard back suplex on Evans. Come to think of it, that move had WAY too much power in No Mercy for N64. Evans kicks B-Boy in the gut to reverse the momentum. B-Boy takes a NICE hurrancarana from Jack Evans. There's a two count on the pin. DDT from the top rope by Jack Evans. That looked KILLER. Cover, ONE...TWO...NO! I honestly thought that match was going to end right then and there. B-Boy takes a flying neckbreaker from Jack Evans. Jack Evans connects with a back heel kick on B-Boy and gets back up quickly. B-Boy pushes out of a Jack Evans hold. B-Boy uses a basement dropkick to the knee and it looks like it might be TIME TO GO TO SCHOOL~! Springboard dropkick from B-Boy. Nicely done. Jack Evans is in trouble. Here it comes - Cross Special Brainbuster. 1....2...3, it's finished.
My Opinion: *** rating for an above average match.
Garguilo: Watch out Teddy Hart- B-Boy is gunning for you.
House: He’ll have to wait his turn Eric. He may have snuck by Teddy’s friend, but he’ll have more trouble with the champ!
(65/38/93)
Tommy Suede vs Nick Berk.
Match Background: Impressive newcomer Tommy Suede has been on a winning street since joining CZW. “The Red Bull” Nick Berk, a former CZW World Champion, will be his toughest test to date.
The Match: Smooth walks into a spinning heel kick which almost causes a decapitation! Flying elbow off the top rope by Nick Berk, getting as close to zero air as possible. Hooks the leg for a two count. Berk drops an elbow...but Tommy Suede moves out of the way. Smooth hits a HARD spinning kick to the jaw. Smooth hits a dropkick on Nick Berk and gets right back up. Covers for a quick two count. Diamond Dust from Tommy Suede and Berk is out! Pin, but Berk is out just before the three count. Spin kick by Tommy Suede to the face sends the opponent FLYING across the ring. Nick Berk reverses a hip toss. Back heel kick from Berk on Smooth. Hooks the leg for a two count. Berk face jams Tommy Suede. Pin, but Smooth is out just before the three count. Berk hits a soaring kick on Smooth. Tommy Suede gets hip tossed by Berk. Smooth backdrops Nick Berk out of a piledriver attempt. That took a lot out of Tommy Suede. Flying elbow from Tommy Suede connects. Power drive elbow by Tommy Suede. That sounds like a feature on a 4 x 4, doesn't it. Tommy Suede floors Nick Berk...and climbs the turnbuckles. Through the air, Phoenix Splash! 1....2....3.
My Opinion: *1\2 rating is all it gets from me.
House- The win streak goes on for Tommy Suede. He could be a title contender in the coming months.
Garguilo- I agree. A big victory over the former world champion Nick Berk.
(60/47/74)
The Rachies vs Jimmy Rave and Burchill.
Match Background: Jimmy Rave is the reigning CZW Iron Man champion. The individual members of the Rachies lost to Rave and Burchill last night in singles matches, but both were involved with attacks after the match. Rave and Burchill have had problems with various members of the Rebel’s Army, not just the Rachies, so have decided to pool their resources to bring the fight to the Army members.
The Match: Burchill connects with a back heel kick on Rose and gets back up quickly. Rude Awakening neckbreaker on Danny Rose by Burchill. Remember when that was a legit finish? Covers for a quick two count. Tag to Jimmy Rave. Burchill \ Rave whip Rose into the corner. Burchill whips Jimmy Rave in for a hard clothesline to follow-up. Hooks the leg for a two count. Rave uses a basement dropkick to the knee and it looks like it might be TIME TO GO TO SCHOOL~! Danny Rose once again takes the advantage after blocking a few punches and connecting with some forearms. Rose crushes Rave with a huge legdrop. Hooks the leg for a two count. Tag between Danny Rose and Adam Flash. Flash crushes Rave with a running senton. Pinfall attempt: ONE...TWO...NO! Rave takes a flying neckbreaker from Adam Flash. Jimmy Rave avoids a Adam Flash avalanche by getting out of the damn way! Rave uses a basement dropkick to the knee and it looks like it might be TIME TO GO TO SCHOOL~! Tag to Burchill. Flash walks into a high dropkick from Burchill, almost losing several teeth in the process. Tag between Adam Flash and Danny Rose. Flying elbow from Burchill connects. Burchill has Danny Rose down on the canvas. Standing Star Press!!! 1....2....3!! It's all over. Rebel's Army come running down the aisle and into the ring! Burchill turns...and gets attacked! They set him up...and hit the Super Bomb! Rebel's Army have left Burchill down and hurt.
My Opinion: Oh, look out...almost ***, but not quite. **3/4.
Garguilo- What the hell? Why did Rebel and Matthews attack Burchill after the bell?
House- Why? Because a successful army sticks together, Garguilo. Strength in numbers- great tactics from the Rockin’ Rebel.
(67/46/88)
Teddy Hart is in the ring, and he has a short celebration ceremony after his recent success.
Garguilo- What an ego this kid has! He’d better watch out, because when you’re the champion, everyone is gunning for you.
House- Do you think Teddy Hart cares? He’s the greatest Junior Heavyweight in the company, and he’s got the belt to prove it.
(62)
Wifebeater vs Necro Butcher.
Match Background: This will be a hardcore bout between two of the most hardcore men in CZW.
The Match: STIFF~! chop lights up Wifey who covers up to try and stop the agonizing PAIN! Wifey backdrops Necro Butcher out of a piledriver attempt. That took a lot out of Wifebeater. Wifey slams Necro Butcher. The ref is bumped, as goes down after accidentally getting caught by an elbow to the face. Wifebeater scores with a big spinebuster. Pinfall attempt, but the ref is out and can't count to three! Wifebeater misses a clothesline. Necro chair shots Wifebeater. Necro Butcher hits a bulldog off the ropes. Hooks the leg for a two count. Necro Butcher scores with a big spinebuster. Cover, ONE...TWO...NO! I honestly thought that match was going to end right then and there. Wifebeater avoids a Necro Butcher avalanche by getting out of the damn way! Face jam onto the table. Hooks the leg! ONE...TWO...NO! Wifey goes for a splash but Necro puts the knees up. Necro Butcher has Wifebeater down on the canvas. Wifebeater gets locked in the Asiatic Spike! Submission victory!
My Opinion: Ohh, looky. A **3/4 match!
Garguilo- Both men are a bloody mess. What a brutal match between two hardcore icons.
House- That’s two sickos in the ring Eric, but I think the Necro Butcher was a bit sicker on the day.
(64/40/89)
Nate Hatred vs Brandon Robinson.
Match Background: Nate Hatred is the reigning BJPW Death Match champion. This is a non-title match.
The Match: STIFF~! chop lights up Hatred who covers up to try and stop the agonizing PAIN! Nate Hatred powers out of a Brandon Robinson headlock. STIFF~! chop lights up Robinson who covers up to try and stop the agonizing PAIN! Nate Hatred misses a clothesline...and takes out the referee accidentally! DEATH VALLEY DRIVAH~! by Nate Hatred just KILLS Brandon Robinson! Hooks the leg, but the referee is still out! Nate Hatred misses a clothesline. Brandon Robinson with a spinning neckbreaker on Hatred. Big piledriver on Hatred. There's a two count on the pin. Brandon Robinson scores with a big spinebuster. Hooks the leg! ONE...TWO...NO! Hatred pushes out of a Brandon Robinson hold. Massive backbreaker on Robinson and I get happy flashbacks to Bret Hart's Five Moves of DOOM. Hooks the leg! ONE...TWO...NO! Brandon Robinson is able to duck a clothesline attempt and connect with a counter clothesline. Nate Hatred grabs Brandon Robinson from behind and shoves him into the ropes, then scores with a roll-up...but Robinson rolls through with the move! He used a pull of the tights to get Hatred over! 1....2...3! The referee was out of position and didn't see it! Brandon Robinson climbs each turnbuckle in turn, working the crowd as he celebrates his victory
My Opinion: Usually, this is designated for good matches that were usually way too short for some reason. What's your excuse? *3/4
Garguilo- What a cheat Robinson is! I’m sure Hatred will want revenge in the future.
House- Ha, he’ll have to put his BJPW Death Match title on the line- Robinson must be the new number one contender.
(65/53/77)
John Zandig vs The Messiah.
Match Background: This will be a special guest referee bout. Lobo will be the referee for this match. This match is for the CZW World title. The Messiah is the former champion who lost his title to Zandig and has demanded a rematch ever since. At Divide and Conquer, the two did battle in a title match, which also included Wifebeater. Zandig won, but Messiah claimed that was unfair and he still wanted a one-on-one rematch. Lobo finally gave in, but made himself the guest referee.
The Match: The Messiah charges into the corner, but EATS BOOT and staggers backward. Spear by John Zandig. There's a two count on the pin. The Messiah pulls a mule kick out of nowhere. Zandig gets slammed down hard and winces in pain. Messiah slams John Zandig down and motions to the crowd. Covers for a quick two count. DEATH VALLEY DRIVAH~! by The Messiah just KILLS John Zandig! Pin, but Zandig is out just before the three count. Bodyslam by Messiah. Zandig backdrops The Messiah out of a piledriver attempt. That took a lot out of John Zandig. Massive backbreaker on Messiah and I get happy flashbacks to Bret Hart's Five Moves of DOOM. Hooks the leg for a two count. John Zandig scores with a standing spinebuster. Hooks the leg! ONE...TWO...NO! The Messiah charges into the corner, but EATS BOOT and staggers backward. Messiah is a glutton for punishment and just continues to take it during this match. Messiah blocks the suplex attempt and is able to hit the suplex instead! BAAACK Body drop by Zandig gets a bit of a pop from the crowd. Spear! Zandig is down! The Messiah scores with a quick roll up. 1.2.3! Lobo made a lightning fast three count, John Zandig had no chance to kick out. Lobo has grabbed a chair from outside, and slides back into the ring. John Zandig turns around, and gets floored with a brutal chair shot! Lobo has knocked John Zandig out with a chair!
My Opinion: Slightly above average match. Only gets a **3\4 rating from me.
Garguilo- WHAT THE HELL! Damn you Lobo!
House- That’s Sheriff Lobo to you Garguilo! The boss is back and we’ve got a new World Champion. Things are great right now in CZW.
Garguilo- Excuse me! We need answers from Lobo- why’d he do this to John Zandig.
House- I guess we’ll have to wait and see Eric. What a genius Lobo is!
(77/73/82)
OVERALL SHOW-63
