The Ill One

It's rare when I'm pumped for a video game... but I'm psyched right now. I should probably go reserve a copy soon but that soundtrack's really nice. I can't help myself but to go poke around to see what else the piracy game has turned up.

SPECIAL EXCITING TWO-PEOPLE-WHO-SHOULD-BE-BOOKED-IN-THE-MAIN-EVENT SHOW OPENER!!! “The Icon” Max King vs. Landon “La Cucaracha” Maddix ~Hey, cool, uh, Maddix for the win. SPECIAL CELEBRITY HANDICAP MATCH OF DOOM!!! rKade and Kaine vs. Alec Baldwin, Daniel Baldwin, Stephen Baldwin, and Billy Baldwin ~Dude, you can't beat the Baldwin Brothers. You just can't. GO SINGLES MATCHES!!! Stryke vs. Manson ~Manson. SPECIAL SECOND-CHANCE HARDCORE GAMERS #1 CONTENDERSHIP TRIPLE THREAT!!! Danny Dagda vs. Evan Wolfe vs. Uncle Filthy ~Filthy. HARDCORE GAMER’S TITLE MATCH!!! Sean Davis vs. Carnage ~Davis to retain. NON-TITLE BLOODBATH!!! Christian Fury vs. Ace Lezaire ~Nice, I'll run with Fury for the win. SINGLES MATCH W/ TEAMMATE AT RING SIDE MATCH!!! “Hollywood” Spike Jenkins w/ Todd Cortez vs. Ryan Dustin w/ Austin Sly ~Dustin and Sly. AND YOUR MAIN EVENT…. SPECIAL VETERAN’SBOILER ROOM BRAWL Annie Eclectic vs. Jamie Drazon ~Awesome. I'll go with JD with the urinal puck for the win.

If "complicated" implies the multilayer "deep", pseudo-philosophical thoughts that about every teenager wishes they were or have but really aren't- then yes, yes you are complicated. *Plays Avril Lavigne's "Complicated"* I "Ripping off Thugg and seeing the truth" L

I still think the Marx brothers > Baldwin brothers. Edit- It's actually more of a factor of Spike being a bastard than anything. Once the stereotyping starts, that's when the crying begins. *Sniffles*

GTA- Vice City ESPN 2K5

Well I figure if he's wearing a black robe, you're fucked. Just kidding, nice promo Toxxic and hurray for hype. A lot of hype too.

Oh, hey, cool. A chance to redeem myself over -another- no-show. Well a nice card and good luck to everybody.

MAIN EVENT#1 SWF CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH Toxxic© vs Andrea Montgomery ~Toxxic but Andrea, I'm rooting for you. SINGLES MATCH Landon “La Cucaracha Maddix” vs Jamie Drazon ~La Cucaracha. QUESTION MARK MATCH ??? vs Manson ~I have a feeling ??? is NotJ if that's the case- ??? Or Snow Demon. Ha. USJL CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH David Cross© vs Ace Lezaire ~Well either one is an awesome choice but let's go with Ace to regain his title. ICTV/US TITLE CONTENDERSHIP TAG TEAM MATCH Todd Cortez vs Spike Jenkins vs Austin Sly vs Ryan Dustin ~Christ, uuuhhh, I'm not sure who the teams are- but I figure it's Sly and Dustin, Jenkins and Cortez? That'd be kooky. No prediction. HARDCORE TITLE CONTENDERSHIP MELEE Uncle Filthy vs Evan Wolfe vs Danny Dagda vs Carnage ~CARNAGE SINGLES MATCH rKade vs Kaine ~Kaine.

I never played Underground and I don't intend to play the second one. Funny story (since we're talking about Reylonds)- I stood right next to Reylonds without realizing it 'til after he skated off at a demo. The "road war" thing has me interested.

I adored the GTA III commercials, the Vice City not as much. But, hey, I'm fuckin' psyched for San Andreas and I'm not that much of a gamer. When's the release date again?

'Tis will be a day filled with sorrow and oily hair.

Dude that's a really good idea. Cyclone Comet and Uncle Filthy, you know you'd love it! Flesher and Dagda would be great in terms of "Man, we're dicks." Maddix (Face) and NotJ.

Hey! I, *gasp*, read the whole show! So here we go with running comments- ratings are based on a * to ***** scale and due to entertainment values opposed to actual content values. I'll leave the writing and wrestling critiques to somebody with a bit more knowledge. Therefore if there was a promo where GSMS dropped a dumbell onto his groin it'd prolly get a ***** whereas the most epic match could only get ****. So don't be taking this all personally. The somewhat IC somewhat OoC commetns Toxxic is Cockier than Holmes~! ( ) -Not bad, I always love how Toxxic's promos only could be used as summarization of what's happened so far in his career. Potshots at JD beating Toxx's always makes me all warm and fuzzy inside. Or it could be because Janus has me wearing the Petey the Penguin costume though... AJPW? More, like, uh, Ew-Japan-Pee-U! Course Toxxic keeps drillin' the point MVS' career is up. "The best you can do... is put off losing for a little while longer." Toxxic's a dick. Like Cody the Chode, the scrapped precessor to Petey the Penguin. Ratings- ** 1/2 Honestly, Toxxic, it kept me amused... but didn't do much else. I don't think it was meant to. Didn't really hit home or stir any emotions but it did the trick. So keep on keepin' on. Carnage vs Uncle Filthy -I don't mean to be a little bitch but for whatever reason when you wrote "The musician Sting." Then suddenly Carnage charges it kind've doesn't have the natural flow to it. You know? I realize it was meant to come off as Carnage going right at Filthy before he even was prepared but still something didn't settle right. "Nobody grabs Uncle Filthy's Crank!" Wait, you and Cap'n Plundah aren't a couple? Well I'll be damned. Sound effects for each sloppy jabs, eh, I've never been a huge fan of the sound effects but they work for now. I like how Carnage is pwning Uncle but I think you might've oversold the chokeslams. Burlap sacks filled with jell-o? That's a helluva' chokeslam series. Riley: Did Cap’n Plundah intentionally miss that splash? He managed to break up the count without getting Uncle Filthy disqualifed! Comet: Do you really think a hobo, a pirate and a man in a monkey suit could plan something like that out? This was just a fluke, and a really generous call by Nick Lumas! Genius. The whole idea works but, again, I don't know if that's something that could be repeated. Filthy's "posse" getting the shit kicked outta' them gives Uncle Filthy time to recover. Wrestling logic 101 lets that work and the whole sequence there is very entertaining. Good way to slip out of the Camel Clutch. Ahem due to my new-found sobreity I won't go into a rant about how I marked for the washed up TV star's pot boxers but I marked out. Groinshot. It makes me wonder if all men were wrestlers if we'd evolve to the point where ballshots wouldn't kill. Hell it would've ended America's Funniest Home Videos season 38762348039082 and Version 43753820 dead in its track. Sometimes just saying "he goes the cover" is best rather than have words eat up how you attempt the pin. Just a thought. Ending is a bit abrupt but works. There's the big win for Filthy and Comet protesting. Nice. Rating- *** Up-and-comer, folks, but we all know that. Ah Filthy, Pete, and Plundah are always good fun. Megan Advises Maddix on Skincare -Damn those pesky wrinkles, Maddix should stick with decaf! Is taking a plunge into a dumpster really that bad? I mean, shit, it prolly smells but I figure most of the garbage would provide for a cushion, right? Maybe there's Henry the Hungry Hobo already sleeping in there so you can have company. But no, nobody thinks about poor starvin' Henry. Yeah, better recongize. Skanky Skye... sounds like a fetish pornstar name. Ah there's the sexual innuedo to calm Maddix down! He needs some sexual healin' but don't toss the match 'cause you know "Megs" will deliver anyway. Rating- *** Eh, it just seems like Maddix has a lot more to worry about than taking a fall into a dumpster or teamin' with Filthy's friends. Anyway it was a nice, short promo and did the trick. So hurray for Maddix. rKade vs Evan Wolfe -...No! Bus! No! Crossed Fury vs Revolution Zero -Duh-duh-duh-double champions, bitches! Sucklin. Ha. Quick action to start the match off with. Hey now, Jenkins can outsmart, uh, let me get back to you on that one. ... Still got no-one. Regardless Cross gets the upper-hand. Did you guys dig through the good ole' thesaurus for the word "idiot" and found all those petty insults? Goof, cornball, Corngoof, Goball, Goofcorn, Ballgo... hahaha, I said ball(s). Comet calling Riley by "Bobb-o?" Not feeling it. Bit too lax for Mr. Caped Crusader Comet. Low blow by Spike which has me going back to my theory of man's evolution of nutshots and Saget becoming unemployeed. (Graps has to free him eventually, right?) No selling the sleeper hold? Dude, one of my finisher is the sleeperhold. But that could explain why I smell (beat you to it, GOdrea) and why I'm up for Tool of the Year award! Few very minor typos, but hey, happens to the best of us. Alright there's some Greek God-name droppins' and there drops Spike! New! Tag! Champions! Congrats, guys. Rating- ***1/2 kept my attention and I thoroughly enjoyed the match. Hope you double champs have a nice reign. Mark! Is! Fired! Up! -I blame you for King's turn too, Marky-Mark. I also blame you for the Greenhouse Effect, Angel's push, and the song "My Goodies." But anyway I'm fuckin' hyped for the Hell in a Cell and the hype for the match keeps on coming. Nice. Rating- *** Fun, short, it works. Canda's Best Export is -Obviously- Beaver Jokes But Whatever vs Andrea Montgemery vs JD -I smell so I won't review this. ...Ah what the hell. Ooohh, second marijuana reference tonight this time aimed at JD. How true and how nice. The sexual-preference-questionable Aaron calls for the bell. Hey winning without doing any work requires talent. Okay -another- weed joke. Nice Domino spot. Riley reminds me of that heroin addict in those Lord of the Ring movies with Ace's face. "No! THE PRECIOUS!" ...I lose, I suck at life, and I've been Myers'ed. Anyway. Tuckerman and Roll. Then- Falling Star Bomb for the win~! Rating- ***1/4 It smelled. Oh, wait, that's me. Okay not so bad, Andrea, and it was enjoyable. W00t. Bathroom Break -I dedicated the flush to Durandal! (Oooohh, crash and burn). Maddix vs King (But Not the Suicidal One) DUMPSTAH~! MATCH -Why do I feel this match has potential to twist into an erotica? Don't answer that. Man is Kelly always that bitchy or is she on the rag? Or both? But it starts out in the aisle, hurray. Stepladder and trashcan? MMmmmm, hardcore goodness. I approve. Hey he's climbing the midget stepladder. At first I actually thought I saw a Midget reference but no such luck. Ooohhhh, Maddix is DENIED! Here comes the chair. Ouch, a pain that'll linger for Maddix. Fuckin' awesome spot with the powerbomb onto the 'vertically challenged' propped stepladder. Kelly off to get the dumpster, I always knew she was trash. (Yeah, yeah that one blew more than the rest). Droptoe hold to Max King that somewhere Raven is smirking over. Wow I actually laughed at the "trash landing" play-on-words. Danglies? *Winces* Damn it, foiled Exploder! Boot to the jaw... shit, Maddix is in the dumpster. Did I just see packing peanuts fly up when he landed? I think I did. Now close the lid King 'fore the flies get out... or Maddix. Ha! Kelly can't shut the other one, biatch~! See it's the attention to lil' details where spots like this are created and really work. Ho-ly shit I think I might've been right about the Skye/Kelly erotica, wait, no, she just powdered King's face a bit. Cool. Hey! Glass bottle? Recycle you stupid shits! Nice attention to details since Maddix is covered in trash and isn't so fresh and clean-clean. GARBURO~! That actually made me laugh out loud (contrary to popular belief I'm a huge supporter in "lol" meaning internal laughing). Oh and King's bleeding like a first timer! Here comes the chair shot! Man Maddix should've just let Max slip on the banana peel. Muaahahaha communication breakdown will drive ya' insane *air guitars to Led Zeppelin* King gets toppled over and into the dumpster by Megan Skye! What can't this girl do? Nnnnnnnnnneeeewwwwww champ! Hoo-fuckin-hah! Rating- ****1/2 Again based on entertainment. (Not to say it wasn't a solid match). I, simply put, adored this match, Maddix, and here's hoping to another great reign! M!V!S! vs TOXXIC! -Here we go. I'm legitimately as psyched for this as people can get over e-fed wrestling. ...Whoa, I had an all-show brawl with Toxxic? Wait, yeah, yeah I did. Don't turn your back to Siclen 'cause you'll get bitch slapped. Here it comes for whatever reason I have "Ain't Nothing to Fuck With" going along with this match as I actually visual it. A guy's gotta' scratch where a man's gotta scratch. LARIA-oh, wait, nope. I'm already feelin' this match. Swagger~! Dialouge spoken during the match, nice. There's the Sobering Thought but Siclen won't let it end there. Jesus Christ, ANOTHER nutshot. I wonder if Darwin ever considered my theory... anyway. Working on that neck like Zack works on getting a date from WJM. Another jello reference. Can't we find some other substance that can't be associated with Bill Cosby? Please? Okay, tilde fever has struck this whole federation~! Okay Comet's exclaimations cover about every deity (where's the "Holy leapin' Buddha~!")? Flying headscissors, selling the fact that as rare as me showing. Cool. Van! Slaminator! Okay where's my valium 'cause I am pumped! This federation also has a fetish for the word "inevitable." Cardinal Sin Clutch! Gah, no tap out and another "Bobbo." Hey can we throw Raynor onto the announcing team so we can call him by "-red- boobo?" No? Fine. Loudest. Sigh. Ever. Riot Act! Wait, no, Toxxic nails him with a kick. Jumping Van Slaminator? Ho-ly shit. Wait, fuck, MVS lost? Wait here comes Cortez with the RAGE~! Then there's the Urban Assault! One last time MVS hears the crowd chant his name. Thanks for your contributions to the federation Mike. From Snow Demon, to "biting clits" to this match. It gets me all nostalagic man, but hey, you got your huge final showing. Now y'all come back now, ya' hear? Rating- ****3/4 It was very nicely written even though it's obviously a work. A great way to end the night. Overall this was a pretty nice show guys, let's keep it up.

That scene alone got me cockblocked one time. Therefore I can't wait that movie without feeling insanely bitter. But that's not here nor there- Psycho- Shower Stab Scene Puppet Masters- Leech-Women does that nympho-creep dude with the leeches on his chest. I saw that when I was roughly six or seven and have been fuckin' freaked out ever since. Whichever-movie-where-Jason-was-in-the-city- What a awful movie, therefore its really vague. But on the rooftop where the boxer figures he can take on Jason it ranks up there for just pure humor as he's drilling away at Jason who no-sells. Poltergeist- The mirror scene and the maggots in the meat. They Live- I second the bubble gum scene. My friends and I spoof lines off that all the time.

Not a bad card at all, not being booked gave me time to hammer out a promo. Good luck to all.

Damn straight! Approaching being done with my match, save the comments, and this is a really nice card. Good luck to all.

MAIN EVENT CAPTAIN FALL TAG MATCH Revolution Zero (Toxxic © and "Hollywood" Spike Jenkins) and "The Icon" Max King v. Andrea Montgomery © and Hollywood Boulevard (Mike Van Siclen and "Urban Legend" Todd Cortez) ~Nice match, I'll go with team heel. USJL TITLE MATCH David Cross© v. Danny Dagda ~Cross to squash me. CRUISERWEIGHT TITLE MATCH Ryan Dustin © v. Austin Sly ~Dustin to retain. SINGLES MATCH Landon "La Cucaracha" Maddix v. Stryke ~Maddix. HARDCORE TITLE MATCH Sean Davis © v. Christian Fury ~I'm rooting for Fury. USJL TITLE #1 CONTENDERSHIP MATCH Uncle Filthy v. Evan Wolfe ~Wolfe. NEW GUY MATCH "Blind" Ryan Klein v. Carnage ~CARNAGE Man, one day the joke will get old- but not today.

Eh, got bored- so here we go. Got a few. Stewie: Let me guess, you picked out yet another colorful box with a crank that I'm expected to turn and turn until OOP! big shock, a jack pops out and you laugh and the kids laugh and the dog laughs and I die a little inside. Brian: Oh, please, Peter, your excuses are lamer than FDR's legs. Meg & Peter: *gasp* Brian: Too soon? [Quagmire sees a cheerleader tied up in a bathroom stall] Quagmire: Dear diary: Jackpot. Auctioner: Our first item is a pair of panties confiscated from a prostitute. Quagmire: Fifty bucks. Auctioner: She had nine STDs. Quagmire: Forty-five bucks. Auctioner: And when we caught her she wet herself. Quagmire: Fifty bucks Peter: Make like Siamese twins and split ... and then one of you die. Chris: So .. ah .. what are you wearing? Ha ha ha ha ha WOW! I bet you could see right through that. Lois: Chris, who are you talking to? Chris: Grandma.

I'll step up, dammit~! Or not. But, hey, I showed!

So I searched in the help section and still couldn't get a clear definition of what to do. Apparently Word was shut down improperly and now it won't me do anything in terms of editing. Even new documents brought up won't let me anything but limited options. Any means of me fixing it and still getting to save the documents or do I have to reinstall?

/Nelson mode ON Why the f*ck you need my f*cken number you f*cken... well f*ck it is f*cken 1-800-ROAR-MOTHERF*CKER /Nelson mode OFF

MAIN EVENT#1 SWF CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH Toxxic© vs Andrea Montgomery ~Toxxic but I'd mark for Andrea. MAIN EVENT #2 ICTV TITLE MATCH Landon Maddix© vs “The Icon” Max King ~Landon. MAIN EVENT #3 TAG TITLE REMATCH Spike Jenkins & Sean Davis© vs Todd Cortez & Mike Van Siclen ~Spike and Davis to retain. SINGLES MATCH Johnny Dangerous vs Manson ~JD. USJL TITLE CONTENDERSHIP TRIANGLE MATCH Nathan Xavier vs Jamie Drazon vs Ryan Dustin ~Dustin. CRUSIERWEIGHT TITLE CONTENDERSHIP Austin Sly vs The Birdman ~Sly. HARDCORE TITLE CONTENDERSHIP THREE WAY LAST BLOOD Christian Fury vs David Cross vs Danny Dagda ~FURY~! SINGLES MATCH Uncle Filthy vs Stryke ~Filthy.

At least he used them coherently and I really dig the promo. I couldn't resist, but nice man, this reminds me vaguely of an old school guy who'd always use the extras to help get the point across.

I no-showed. Please, please spare the heart attacks.

MAIN EVENT SINGLES MATCH WORLD TITLE BOUT Johnny Dangerous© vs Toxxic ~Toxxic. HANDICAP MATCH The Suicide King, "The Superior One" Tom Flesher and Chris Raynor vs "Grand Slam" Mark Stevens, Landon "La Cucaracha" Maddix... ~Jesus, uh, La Grand Slam CANADIAN DEATH MATCH USJL CANADIAN CHAMPIONSHIP BOUT Ace Lezaire© vs David Cross ~Ace. TAG TEAM TITLE BOUT Hollywood Boulevard© vs Revolution Zero ~RZ. SINGLES MATCH "The Notorious" John Duran vs ??? ~??? CAGED FURY Manson vs Max King ~That ROLFchopter made my e-fedding week. God bless you, Manson. HARDCORE CHAMPIONSHIP BOUT Sean Davis© vs Austin Sly ~Davis. BATTLE ROYALE Candace vs Danny Dagda vs Andrea Montgomery vs Jamie Drazon ~Andrea. LADDER MATCH CRUSERWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP BOUT Ryan Dustin vs "Hollywood" Spike Jenkins vs The Birdman ~Dustin, but this is a sweet match.