The Ill One

Awesome.

I figured there had to be some sort of release or something. That makes some of the people, like the guy at the rodeo, even that much worse (willing to have the shit he said on screen).

I was wondering what those kids' response would be. Tough luck, though, they were spewin' that shit thinking it wouldn't be seen in America, though they seemed pretty drunk.

Yes, a whole new post for the last two. Because... well, just because. Ashes 2 Ashes Report: Part II- By some random fucker Wild and Dangerous versus The Grand Aerial Armada Gotta' be loving "Grand Aerial Armada," even if it's just for the name. If you don't know who these guys are, well, they're basically like the younger Wild and Dangerous (even Mak says so, damn it). It's the team of Ultimo Phantasmo and Devin Benson versus Wildchild and Johnny Dangerous, one of the best SWF tag teams of all time. So this one should be a pretty good match up. But, the best part, is whoever picks up the win also gets the International title (or holds onto it). It's Dub-Cee against Ultimo to square off first as the bell rings and they lock up. Ultimo gets a side headlock until WC backs him against the ropes, shoves him off, but Phantasmo is able to slide underneath his legs. But it's hard to fool somebody like WC with generic luchador tricks and he gets scooped up soon as he hits his feet, but he must already be sweaty because Ultimo slides right off, lands behind him, and locks in a waistlock. He pushes forward into the ropes in an attempt to get a rollup but WC's too smart for that, or just watched Flesher versus Hawke, and grabs the top rope. Wildchild charges after his opponent but he leapfrogs over him, UP continues to ring across the ring, and WC decides to stop his charge, patiently wait, and then do his trademark Freefall Monkeyflip. You know, Ultimo Phantasmo's name abbreviate's horribly, but that's not going to stop me. It's going to be confusing if I try to put emphasis on some amazing high flyin' move by saying "UP" but reading comprehension's a good thing. However, I digress. A lot. Too much, actually, wait, shit, alright I'm doing it again. See? I digress way too... So Wildchild picks him up but UP plants him down with a dropkick before dragging his opponent towards his own corner. He tags in Devin and it's time to double team him... but not in the perverse way, unless you weren't thinking about that until now. Phantasmo holds him and Benson climbs up to the top rope to leap off with a double axe handle to his shoulder. Huh. That's a pretty bland move for this match up considering that's not too grand, certainly not an armada, and hardly even aerial. But I'll give them benefit of the doubt. The action continues, though, as Benson tries to whip him into the turnbuckle but it gets reversed. Now Benson decides to show off his speed as he hops onto the second turnbuckle, leaps off, and foils WC's charge with a crossbody block, but Wildchild rolls through it to get the pin combination- One, two, kickout. He decides to go cheap with an eyerake to Wildchild as he scrambles back up to his feet. Now that damn storm a-brewin' hits outside and knocked out the feed. So I went off, made a sammich, sulked about the dish network, and then heard it turn back on. I scrambled back in and witnessed Dangerous leaping out of the ring onto the three men with a beautiful plancha. (Read: Actually, somehow, my browser hit back and I couldn't recover what I had. There was a lot. So I'm going to pick up roughly where I was, sorry W&D). Damn Dish. Anyway. So, as it sounds, the Grand Aerial Armada had been owning Wild and Dangerous up to this point and now all four are entangled on the outside. The referee comes to the outside to plea for them to bring the action back to the ring but, of course, nobody pays attention. That pesky referee. Dangerous recovers first and he tries to bring Ultimo back up to his feet but receives an eyerake for his efforts. UP tries to Irish whip Dangerous into the ringpost but it's reversed and the poor referee gets squashed in the middle. Now Wildchild's recovered and brings Devin back to his feet as he tries to Irish whip him into the ring. Instead it's reversed but WC never ceases to amaze me as he leaps into the air, lands on the barricade, backflips off, lands behind Benson. Devin puts on the brakes, turns around, and tries to attack Wildchild but instead eats a Johnny Kick, a really hard kick (if you couldn't make that conclusion). Things for the GAA are looking bleak, as Mak called them. Actually, allow me to now deem that team for having the worst abbreviations. UP is confusing, plus we've covered that, and GAA could be said, "Gah-uh" or, even worse, "Ga-a" or "Ga-y-." Now I guess DB isn't so bad unless you say it like a wigger, "dee-BEE." Anyway. Dangerous begins to pick up Devin but Ultimo attacks from behind with another damn double axehandle. Wildchild rushes over in hopes of bailing Johnny out of trouble but instead gets knocked silly by a superkick from Devin! Now Ultimo picks up Johnny and tosses him over the barricade as he strips the thin pads off the cement. Hey man, they're thin, wafer thin, Andre Mint thin, and you just have to rip it off, don't you? I'm not sure how much of a difference it makes but, at the very least, that cement's bound to be freezing cold. But that's the last thing on Wildchild's mind as he's rolled back into the ring while Ultimo hops onto the apron. He reaches over the ropes and tugs Wildchild up, snags in an awkward front facelock, and it's suplex to the unpadded outside time! He begins to make the lift but WC wisely laces his feet into the top rope to foil that attempt, followed by a few other stubborn attempts but an acrobat knows how to lace his feet onto wires, or ropes in this case. Wildchild finally responds with an elbow and that throws him off guard long enough for Johnny to crawl over the ring barricade. He clubs Phantasmo on his back as he slumps off and right onto Johnny's shoulders while Wildchild hops onto the top rope. Oh yes, this won't be any double axehandle... and if it is, well, that'd be really, really lackluster. But instead he leaps off the turnbuckle and snags in a side headlock while Dangerous falls back in the Electric Chair position to complete the Dangerous Drop onto the unprotected cement! Well, if nothing else, it lives up to its name as UP seems done for his match. Finally they turned around to the neglected Benson, who's been recovering from that Johnny Kick, and hit a double superkick, the Chicklet Buster! Wildchild quickly picks him back up from the ground, rolls him into the ring, rolls in, lifts him up, whips him into the ropes, and floors him with a flying leg lariat! 'Bout time that move came up. Finally the referee crawls back into the ring as Wildchild high-tails it back to his corner while Johnny makes the cover- One, two, and a kickout. Didn't see that one coming and judging Johnny's face, he didn't either. But he picks him back up only to get a boot to the gut and Devin attempts an Irish whip but instead Dangerous spins around with an elbow. He then makes a break for his corner in an attempt to tag in Wildchild and Benson sprints after him in prevention. He dives out for a great football tackle from behind and that apparently seems to propel Johnny just close enough so that his fingers brush against Wildchild's outstretched hand. It sucks to be Benson as Dangerous throws a kick back to his gut while Wildchild leaps over into the ring with a nice sunset flip- One, two, kickout. Phantasmo, amazingly still ready to fight for that title, watches on in concern, and begins to smack the top turnbuckle in hopes to revive his partner. Wildchild sighs and picks Devin back up, whips him into the ropes, and telegraphs the inevitable leg lariat. So Devin responds as he simply drops down and slides underneath the leg lariat on his stomach in an amusing sight. Greed must've taken over as instead of making the desperately needed tag he bounces into the ropes. He goes for a crossbody block but instead gets a dropkick, leaving him on the canvas, pinned again- One, two, and a save by Ultimo. The referee tries to chase him out but he ignores that since Johnny hops in, dashes across, and smacks him with two right hands. The third and fourth are blocked and Ultimo tackles him down as the two begin to roll around like a high school fight all the way to the outside. Now it's just both men in the ring and they both begin to race, slowly race but still race, each other to their feet. Finally they both get up, to a loud pop from the crowd, and begin to exchange quick, peppered punches. Wildchild gets the upper hand and Devin is backed towards the ropes as WC willingly hits the other ropes to nail a handspring elbow! Meanwhile, on the outside, a loud clang is heard as Dangerous sends Ultimo into the steel ringpost. Wildchild patiently waits in the ring instead of taking the easy pin and tags his partner in. He strips off his shirt, throws it into the crowd for a lucky lady (though I'm pretty sure that creepy old guy with that gross ear hair caught it), and signals for the Silver Bullet. He creeps behind the rookie, whips him into the ropes while Wildchild hops onto them, and he lifts him up for the backdrop suplex- while Wildchild smacks him with an elbow! Another pin attempt- One, two, and three! Johnny Dangerous remains the International Champion, plus Wild and Dangerous seem to have their groove back. This wasn't the best thing Wild and Dangerous has ever done but it was pretty entertaining with a few nice spots (mainly the Dangerous Drop on the unpadded outside), so a solid ***. The Elimination Chamber Now here's the main event that everyone has been buzzing about and for a good reason. Everybody knows the Elimination Chamber (but not from the SWF) and its sadistic yet beautiful potential. Early on we find out a nice lil' fact, Peters has, once again, abused his powers and put the team of Aecas and Janus on the outside as the special enforcement. Anybody lingering in that cage will regret it as they are granted full authority to do whatever the hell they want, and those are two guys you don't want coming after you. So the six men in this one are- Bruce Blank, Landon Maddix, Gabriel Drake, Spike Jenkins, Zyon, and Michael Stephens. Besides the World Championship being up for grabs, this one just has so much history packed in. Almost too much history for me to recap but I'll briefly try- Gabriel hates Michaels and doesn't care much for Maddix either. Meanwhile Zyon has been toppled by Stephens numerous times in the past few months while his former partner, Jenkins, is also in this match. Spike Jenkins hates, well, everyone but in particular Zyon, Blank, and he was a former Revolution Zero member. Blank just loves to destroy people so count him in for all sorts of sadistic thoughts. Finally, Maddix had a heated feud with Stephens, until that healed, and (as said earlier) had issues with Drake. See? This one has a lotta' drama in one confined, metal structure. It's going to be Landon and Blank to start out. It's the same routine for roughly a minute, where Bruce charges and Maddix easily evades him. Now it's Matador Maddix as he runs Bruce straight into the ring post to everyone's amusement, well, probably not to Bruce's since, you know, he just made an ass of himself. He takes advantage with a superkick to the back of his head as he's slumped into the corner, followed by the Get Licked, and then a gorgeous Cucaracha Kick (the spinning gamengiri). But the Redneck Superman remains standing, swaying (though that may be the beer) but still standing. So Maddix decides to finally topple him with a dropsault. He bounces into the ropes and smacks him with a double stomp and then a back senton before getting the cover- One, tw... can't even get the two count. He lifts up Bruce, though, and delivers a few nice kicks right into Blank's face but it's Bruce Blank, so he's quite to recover. Maddix tries to continue with his offensive flurry but Bruce simply catches him on the rebound from the ropes, tosses him into the air like a pizza, and then punches him in the gut on the way down. He then shows off his technical skills as he steps onto Maddix's throat and I gotta' wonder how long 'til Blank murders somebody that way. I mean, a lot of SWF stars break their necks and rebound, but a crushed windpipe might be hard to shake off, I bet HVT would be able to pull it off, though. He lets go of the chokehold, probably not realizing there aren't any rules, and then nearly falls over trying to pick up Maddix. This man is shitfaced, shitfaced I say. Anyway he lifts Maddix above his head for the Guerilla Press but can't help but to benchpress the smaller Maddix, until he loses count. That lets Landon slip off his shoulders and when Bruce spins around he snaps off a forearm... a forearm that hardly makes Bruce Blank blink and he responds with a huge, wild right hand. But Landon is able to duck underneath and snap him down to the canvas. He tries for the cover but gets a two count and quickly changes gears to the Land of Nod! Bruce Blank shows his toughness, and superior size, as he stands back up while Landon desperately clings onto his hold. He then charges back against a corner to crush Landon between the Redneck Superman and the turnbuckles, which frees Bruce and leaves Maddix on the canvas. Blank tries to see if a headstomp would be able to make Landon's head explode, in a Scanners' way, you know, but the quick Roach rolls away. He pops up behind him and leaps up for the Lung Blower but Blank clings onto the top rope as the two awkwardly have a mid-move stalemate until Maddix gives up. He lets go and falls back to his feet on the canvas but only to receive a gigantic mule kick from Bruce! Ladies and gentlemen, there's nutshot of the year, right there. He goes for the pin, One, two, kickout. Bruce Blank lifts him up and sets him into the Tree of Woe position and you gotta' wonder how Megan's feeling, actually, gotta' wonder how Landon's feeling. Wow, it's already been four minutes and fifty seconds as the countdown begins, as do the dramatic strobelights. It lands on Gabriel Drake and he charges into the ring to whail on Maddix- Wait, no he doesn't, instead he walks over to Stephens' lil' cage o' confinement, though I guess that's the purpose of all cages, and tries his hardest to knock it down. Michael just seems amused by the action, actually taunting him, until Drake gives up and turns his attention to Maddix. he walks over just as Landon frees himself. But that doesn't mean he's free, actually, because he gets caught in a huge Spiral Powerbomb by Drake, who goes for the pin- One, two, pull off by Bruce? How drunk is that man? Drake growls at Bruce and he shoves Blank. Now there are two guys in the SWF who I wouldn't want to shove (well, sans Aecas and Janus) and those two are the ones shoving each other. Bruce Blank shoves back even harder at Drake, who retaliates with a huge spear. He mounts Bruce and begins to rain down hard rights until Blank swipes an arm off him, gets a kick while the two are on the canvas, and they both scramble to get back up. Drake, sober and not very beaten, gets up first as Blank struggles as he looks ready to rip Blank apart. But. Instead Maddix comes back at the most opportune time with a low blow, making sure his nuts aren't the only ones to suffer tonight. He nails a Crash Landon '05 and goes for the cover- One, two, kickout. Still a bit too early for people to just be giving up their title shots yet, apparently. The two get up and Drake tries to take him down for some good ol' matwork schooling but Landon is able to prevent it, even snatch him in the standing headscissors. But there's one complication that I'm seeing that, apparently, Landon hasn't realized quite yet, the massive Blank charging at him. He nearly knocks Landon's head off with a lariat that makes everybody, including myself, wince in sympathy. Drake's freed from the standing headscissors, which makes sense since Landon literally flew backwards from impact, and even Blank tries to steady himself after such a huge hit. Drake lets out a primal roar and grabs Blank up off the canvas, spins him in 180* rotation, and drops him throat first across the ropes! He promptly follows it up with a cover- One, two, kickout. He grunts and then turns his attention to the downed Maddix, there's another cover- One, two, and guess what? A kickout. But that doesn't discourage Drake as he begins to whail on Maddix's leg and there goes the count down again... and the strobelight flashes among the cages until it stops on Michael! Even Koreans adore him because the pop he got could've blown that roof off. Drake pays no attention to this as he continues to try to stretch Maddix to unimaginable postions with the Stretch Muffler Crab until he gets nailed by a springboard dropkick from the Champ. Blank makes a bumrush towards Stephens but he eats a dropkick that sends him reeling backwards as well, followed by Drake advancing but he gets floored by a hard enzuigiri! Blank recovers and tries to double clothesline the tag team down but both duck underneath, followed by a jab to the eyes and a foot stomp. They both glance at each other, nod, and take Bruce down with a stunning Labertino's Sunny Revenge from England! Here's a cover- One, two, but Drake breaks the pinfall. That may seem like a stupid move, as it should be every man for himself, but who the hell wants to be left in the ring with those two? Certainly not Drake. Now the attention is divided as Michael rushes over to unleash a very familiar combination to Drake- Right, left, right, left, and he winds up for the Discus Clothesline but Drake ducks underneath and reverses with the Brute-Force Trauma (same as Crash Landon '05)! Maddix makes his move as he's able to duck underneath Drake's attack to hit the far ropes and rebound with a flying forearm that takes him down. He rolls back up and springs onto the top turnbuckle and dives off looking for a diving headbutt but all he hits is canvas. Both of the men get back up to their feet and Drake is able to catch the groggy Landon onto his shoulders for the fireman's carry, prelude to Mark of the Beast. Landon saves himself, however, as he plunges his fingers into his opponent's eyes and slides off the back to safety. But self-preservation isn't enough, no, he locks in the reverse headlock and seems to be ready to nail the Landon Eye but Drake is able to fire off some punches to his ribs. He is able to turn his body around and lifts Landon up again in the fireman's carry, but there's no escape this time as he nails the Mark of the Beast! He goes for the cover as Stephens tries to make the save- One, two, and three! Adios, Maddix. This leaves Stephens in an awful position as he's left against Drake and Blank, at least until the next person enters the match. Blank decides to enter the fray, out of pugnacious spirit or too much booze (it's hard to tell), and kicks each man down before stomping on them. Blank finds that stomping people out drunk is a hard feat, so he picks up Drake to swing a wild haymaker that hits nothing but air. Now, this leads to one of the more amusing lil' sequences I've seen in a while. It becomes like a game of human pinball as Drake hits him hard enough that Blank turns right into Stephens' dropkick, which turns him into Drake's right, he turns one, again, and gets creamed by a gamengiri! Both men bounce off the ropes and coincidentally they double team him with the Professional Foul. Perhaps this is something on a subconscience level, something Freud would appreciate, but that's not -quite- the wrestling psychology that others refer to. Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar and sometimes a double team is just a... screw it. There's an awkward eye contact between the two as they realized what has happened but they shrug it off, each man beginning to pick Blank up off the canvas. They team up on him with a drop toehold and kneelift while Blank begins to fall over, while Michael seems to be stuck back in the good ol' days of their training. Drake, however, has felt he has done his share because he gets the jump on Stephens with a spinebuster that shakes the ring. The crowd instantly begins to jeer the Beast, who truly doesn't care, as he goes for the pin- One, two, kickout. He swears in frustration, rather audibly too, and pulls Michael upright. He whips him into the turnbuckle and the Sensation is momentarily too exhaused to do anything but smack against the turnbuckle, which leaves him open for a beautiful flying knee from Drake, followed by quick knife edge chops! The Champion slumps down and Drake lifts him up, looking like a vertical suplex, but instead plops him onto the top turnbuckle. He steps onto the top turnbuckle with the front facelock, ready to hit the superplex, but Stephens halts him with a quick jab to the ribs. It gives him the opportunity to get an odd side bearhug on his opponent before he simply steps off the top turnbuckle to land a Side Effect from the top rope! Both men are down on the canvas in a heap as the countdown begins and it stops, cuing that strobelight, that lands on the Unique Youth's chamber. He quickly hops onto the top turnbuckle and does what he does best, blindly leaps back with a moonsault that connects with both Stephens and Drake! It creates a double cover- One, two, but both men barely kick out in time. Zyon stands up, hardly even winded, and sees Blank stagger on his head. He charges up and hits a dropkick that sends Blank through the ropes onto the steel grate on the outside, but that doesn't keep Bruce down for long. Meanwhile, the Unique Youth hops onto the top rope and springboards off to plant Bruce with a flying forearm. Bruce stumbles back and settles against the cage's wall, which leads to Zyon tugging him over so he can go for the cover- One, two, and thr- no, an ungodly close kickout! Meanwhile, in center of the ring, Drake and Stephens are slowly getting to their front. Drake takes control with a front facelock and tries to gain his breath before getting the double underhooks while Zyon climbs the side of the cage itself. The Unique Youth takes a huge risk, that could have a huge reward, as he leaps off with a modified Cannonball Kamikaze but the Redneck Superman rolls away! A smirk creeps along Drake's face as he lets go of Stephens to see a prime opportunity as Blank rolls away from the battle scene. He walks over and sadistically grabs his legs before easily twisting him into the Stretch Muffler Crab, or the Spite and Malice. There's nothing to save Zyon, far as I can think of, and he screams in pain from the move. Except for one pissed off Maddix who does his role by splashing Drake in the face with a PespiMax, but that's all Zyon needs to low blow his opponent and follows through with a schoolboy- One, two, three! Drake is out of the match in a very, very odd fashion and he suffers his first pinfall of his wrestling career from that. He breathes rage and takes a bit too long to leave because Aecas and Janus decide to step in. Suddenly Stephens leaps in with a dropkick from behind that floors Drake, allowing Aecas and Janus just to casually grab a leg, drag him out of the Elimination Chamber. Finally Drake decides to pursue after Maddix, who has disappeared backstage, and that fully takes him out of the equation. Stephens and Zyon gang up on Blank, whipping him into the ropes, and hitting a Flapjack onto the beaten and battered Bruce. They pick themselves back up off the canvas and Zyon kicks him in the gut, snatches him in the set-up for a Fisherman's suplex but instead nails the Fisherman's neckbreaker with a bridge- One, two, kickout. This time Zyon attempts the Goku Crossface but his technical skills haven't been very well-known, but that's for a reason. Especially since Stephens is able to roll free, and in a nice lil' counter sequence, and nearly locks in the Regal Stretch. He tries to lock in that 3/4ths headlock but can't as he gets bombarded by elbows and Zyon is able to squirm free. The countdown begins again, though this time's evident who'll enter, and indeed Jenkins does. He scrambles over to take advantage of Blank's injured state, beginning to fire off his signature combination of kicks but the final one is caught by him but he doesn't do much with the opportunity. Spike gets thrown back, he rolls up, and charges with a hard lariat that doesn't floor Blank. He follows up with a huge Yakuza kick and the attempt at a cover- One, two, and a kickout. He quickly moves onto Zyon with a butterfly suplex that's immediately followed by a double stomp, but instead of covering he focuses in on Stephens. He charges over, while all Stephens can do is hold his hands up, and nails him with the Dangerous Wizard. He tries for the cover- One, two, kickout. He doesn't get too discouraged as he smells blood in the water and gets the standing headscissors, steps over both arms, and hits the Ratings Crash! Here's the cover- One, two, and thr... Zyon breaks it up, to everyone's dismay. Now Zyon attempts to go for the pinfall and gets the cover- One, two, and Jenkins breaks it up. Now the two former partners exchange blows on their knees while standing up and that gives Stephens time to slip underneath the bottom rope to temporary safety. Until Bruce Blank steps over the top rope and heads towards the champion himself. Meanwhile Spike gets the advantage and throws Zyon over with a German suplex, bridge included- One, two, but a kickout. Meanwhile Bruce Blank takes control of Stephens and Russian Legsweeps him onto the steel, he tries to take the win- One, two, and barely a kickout. Inside the ring Zyon gets whipped towards the turnbuckle but recovers by hitting the No Regards on Spike for a cover- One, two, kickout. Zyon realizes that that wasn't -quite- enough and so he scoops him back up, just to get into him into a fireman's carry until Spike throws knees at him. He slides off behind Zyon and shoves him chest first into the turnbuckle. Outside the battle rages on as Bruce drags Stephens' face against the top rope, then smacks his head against the plexiglass (that was Drake's, by the way), and finishes it up with smashing him against the chamber's wall. He goes for the cover and things look bad for the Champion- One, two, and Spike breaks up the pinfall! Blank pursues after Jenkins and the two begin to brawl, with Blank having the upper hand. He sends Spike stumbling backwards with a huge boot to the head and he turns around to see Zyon taking flight- but he simply lariats him out of the air! He then turns his attention back to the recovering Stephens on the outside, well, yeah, the grate counts for the outside, nevermind. Anyway. But Stephens outsmarts him with a gullotine on the top rope that sends Blank staggering back towards an elbow strike from Spike, followed by a roaring elbow that sways him, and even Stephens is hollering at Jenkins for one more. He complies and Blank finally falls while Zyon gets up, ready to brawl again with Spike. Instead he gets motioned towards the top turnbuckle, which he hops onto, and then mounts the plexiglass cage! You knew something like this was inevitable and so did the crowd who take snapshots as he leaps off with the Final Flash that connects! Cover- One, two, and Jenkins double stomps Zyon. What a dick. Then Spike makes the cover onto Bruce, One, two, and three! Ladies and gentlemen, Blank has left the building. Well, actually, not yet since he nearly looks dead in that ring. Spike picks up his former partner, stuns him with a palm strike, and then nails him with a lariat. Cover, one, two, and this time the Champion breaks up the pin! Zyon and Stephens now team up on the terrified Jenkins as they rush up, raining down blows, whipping him into the ropes, and a double dropkick, but that's not all. They demolish Spike with a double Hangman's neckbreaker! But they don't end the onslaught there as they hit the Extremely Bad hangover for the cover- One, two, and ho-ly shit Spike kicked out. The two have another little discussion while Spike gets back to his feet, while Zyon takes a step forward- and gets low blowed by the Champion! He then shoves him towards Jenkins, right into his arms, and even Stephens signals for the Endwell. Spike complies as the fans are nearly foaming at the mouth in rage at the cover, One, two, and three! Zyon's gone and now the crowd chants, "Tttoooxxxxiiicccc." Spike and Stephens, two former allies and foes, now stand next to each other. They begin a back-and-forth exchange of strikes, starting with an elbow, followed by the European uppercut, followed by another elbow, uppercut, and then Spike switches it up with kicks. He fires two off but the third one is caught and Michael slams him with a headbutt. Spike throws out a kick right into Stephens' kneecap to buy himself extra time. The Hollywood Superstar tries for a palm strike but it is ducked underneath and gets countered by a jawbreaker! He tries for the Sunny in England but Spike shoves him off and into the turnbuckles. He nails a palmstrike to the side of Stephens' head, Irish whips him, but it gets reversed. Now Spike's the one coming back and Stephens tries for the soccer tackle but Jenkins wisely hurdles over it. Stephens tries to get the jump from behind but Spike leaps into the air with the Pele Kick, which sends him all the way back into the ropes. He charges and smacks Stephens with a lariat that sends him toppling over the top rope, plopping onto the steel grate. He stands Stephens up and gets the double underhooks, he's looking for the Endwell. But there's a moment of hesitation and Stephens is able to free his arms, tackle Spike down onto the grate, and finally fall backwards to launch Spike against the steel cage! He covers- One, two, and three! Michael Stephens remains the Cruiserweight and World Champion in a superb match. What a great match to introduce the Elimination Chamber into the SWF. **** 1/4 Match of the Night: Most likely the Elimination Chamber, but for the ones who love the pure wrestling then Hawke versus Flesher is an absolute must. Spot of the Night: Easily the Final Flash from top of the chamber during the Elimination Chamber. Though I still love the Dangerous Drop onto the unpadded outside. So there you, folks, that's a pretty solid PPV. Especially for Flesher/Hawke and the Elimination Chamber. -- Jesus Christ.

Compensation since I didn't write or post my stats, silly me. By the way, this took longer than it probably should have taken. So. Somebody, please, suffer with me. Ashes 2 Ashes Report- By some random fucker Akira versus Grapplah An important match, I bet it'll be an epic... The two tie up and Grappler is able to get the arm wrench. But he flips free of it, sweeps him down, and grabs his legs 'fore flipping forward again for the count- One, two, three. Must've been an amazingly secure pin. Well. How 'bout that. 3/4* At least the moves were crisp, you know? Ashes 2 Ashes Alright, Hardcore Championship match with an interesting stipulation. This should be a great match. First out is Jacob, who can kill half of Korea's army with a swipe of a pipe. It's true, North Koreans hate Luchador. Hey hey, he's got "Excalibur" that beautiful (if I may say so myself) light tube sword. Anyway, Attenborough comes out and preaches followed by Nemesis, and then Jimmy enters the arena. They team up early against the ungodly huge Nemesis, Doom grabs the ladder, and IL is the one to quickly make the first move. Jimmy grabs a branch from the burning pyre while Luchador can't quite unhook Nemesis' huge straw dummy 'fore he gets knocked off the ladder. But at least he's able to rip it down with him on the way back down to the canvas. A lil' scuffle begins and Doom is able to plant Nemesis with a bulldog. He holds onto the side headlock and Nemesis drives Doom into the ladder but it's all futile because Jake tosses Nemesis' dummy out of the ring and into the fire. There goes Nemesis' hope of being the Hardcore Champion. Insane Luchador snatches the ladder and rams Jake with it, sets it up, and rushes up the ladder to snatch his dummy. He intends to drop it towards the pyre but the real Jake makes the save as he catches his dummy. The Ill One glances down and decides to show off his psychotic ways by stepping onto the final step of the ladder (clearly marked not to be stepped on) and lands a beautiful moonsault. The two smack into the pyre and sparks fly, and just Jake's luck- that spark ignites his dummy. Sucks to be him. During this whole time Jimmy the Doom is able to ascend up the ladder while IL scrambles back into the ring. He scurries up the ladder and both men yank the other dummies down before sending one handed punches at one another. Jimmy lands a stiff right and quickly follows it up with a shotei that sends him crashing to the canvas. Doom slides down the ladder with IL's dummy but Luchador is quick to recover (the guy does willingly jump off balconies, after all) and he is able to get the jump on Jimmy by raining down strikes. But the Hardcore Champion stretches out, snatches the lighttube sword, and wildly swings it at Luchador- brutally shattering against his face. Jimmy the Doom gets Luchador's dummy back into his possession but IL rolls to his feet before bailing to the outside. Blood streams down his face in a rather graphic scene and slams against Doom to save his dummy from the fire. Again Luchador gets on top to rain down blows and Doom wisely covers up until he's struck by inspiration. He painfully rips off half his moustache and extends it into the fire before tossing it onto IL's dummy. It bursts into flames and Doom retains his title but not without the sacrifice of -half- his facial hair. Plus. Burning hair smells horrible, absolutely horrible. Somewhat short but entertaining, bonus points whenever facial hair somehow results in a victory. ** 1/2 Flesher versus Hawke Now this should be an awesome match that even those damn smarks can appreciate. Muahaha gotta' love cheap shots at Kim Jong-Ill, plus they're so easy to make. As easy as Allison, oh snap! Bbburrrnn, baby, burn. Alright, sorry, I'm done. The bell rings and the two, well, they don't do much besides attempting to feel the situation out. They finally lock up but they both try for a front headlock but it's a stalemate, release, tie up, and another stalemate. This one is going to be interesting once they actually, you know, wrestle. But, hey, anticipation is half the fun. They tie up once again and a small chain begins- headlock reversed into a hammerlock, trip down, Jay trips Flesher and tries for the STF but the Superior One quickly frees himself. There's an exchange of waistlocks, Flesher goes for the lift but there's a block, rolls forward for the pin attempt. It doesn't even get the two count and another chain of attempts for control, including a whiffed kick, but without any success. Finally Flesher is able to get the front headlock and he tries to get a chokehold in but Hawke's too wise for it, so instead he opts for a series of knees to weaken him for a suplex. He gets Hawke into the air but he slips away from Flesher's grasp and lands behind him. He quickly takes advantage with a waistlock as he drives him towards the ropes for a takeover but it's Flesher, he knows to grab the top rope. Hawke rolls away and Flesher turns around just in time to get smacked in the face with a beautiful dropkick. That sends him flipping over the ropes and onto the outside in the first successful exchange that swings in favor of Hawke. Flesher takes advantage of the ten count while Hawke decides not to pursue but that just gives his opponent time to recover, time to think. There's something that's an awful idea if you're facing someone like Tom. He rolls back into the ring at the nine count and remains on all fours in an open invitation to actually wrestle him. Like, legitimate wrestling. Well, not that this doesn't count as legitimate but the shit that'll bore most fans. But that's not me, so I'm amused that Hawke takes the challenge on but instead gets snagged into a hammerlock but he quickly releases it. This time Flesher motions for Jay Hawke to get on all fours with a little smirk and, again, Hawke takes the bait. Flesher goes for a kick to the ribs but Hawke surprises him by rolling away and back onto his feet. They tie up again and Hawke gets caught in a side headlock but he slips away to lock in a wristlock with an added elbow into the shoulder before wretching it into the classic arm wringer. Flesher falls to a knee but he's quick to rebound and reverse it and Hawke tries to roll through it but can't quite pull it off. He then gets in a grapevine but instead Flesher snapmares him over with a fluent transition into the armbar but quickly twisted back into a wristlock. He rolls up to his feet and Flesher tries to twist it again but instead Hawke gets a handful of nose, but without the amusing Three Stooges noises. Can't win 'em all, anyway, Hawke gets a side headlock in and even kneels. Thorough. Flesher pushes himself back up to his feet but Jay Hawke begins to slam palm strikes into his forehead, which is a great way to get a killer headache. Tom grabs Hawke's arm and turns his body 'round 'til he's able to get the overhead wristlock until Hawke armdrags him down. The two get back to their feet and pause, while the crowd cheers and I try to figure out if Carpal Tunnel is worth it to write this review while I watch this. They change things up with a knucklelock this time which is followed by an inevitable kick to the midsection followed by a painful twistin' of the arm, a single leg trip, and there's another wristlock. Christ, it's deja vu all over again, but this time it's so... technically delicious. But the match moves on as Hawke gets his shoulder up before the referee can even drop to his belly to make the one count. He rolls forward to smack Hawke's wrist against the canvas while Hawke pushes himself back up. The two engage again and this time it's a waistlock, roll through, and Flesher gets another front headlock in to follow up with knees to his chest but gets his arm snatched. Not only that but Hawke twists it so hard that Flesher flips onto his back on the canvas and things just get worse for Tom as Jay drops a knee down. He spins through it, shortly creating an odd looking pseudo spinning wristlock, and he floats over to lock in a side headlock while scissoring his right arm before he's able to set the shoulders down for the one count. Finally he stands Flesher up with him with that damn headlock still latched in but he gets shoved off into the corner. Before Flesher can even capitalize Hawke rebounds with a shoulder block that knocks him down. Tom stands up and Hawke runs into the ropes and tries for a lariat but he ducks underneath. Now Flesher is able to snatch him in an abdominal stretch with an elbow to his ribs, as always. Hawke quickly reaches down, pulls away his leg, and then is able to hiptoss him down to the canvas to free himself. He immediately gets right back up and Hawke tries for another lariat attempt but history repeats itself as Flesher ducks underneath it. This time he snags his head and looks ready to go for some sort of DDT but gets snapmared to the canvas followed by a brutal roundhouse kick to the back of his head. Here's another pin attempt- One, two, and kickout. He pulls Flesher up to his feet and lifts him off the canvas in an attempt for a fireman's carry but on the way forward the wily Flesher turns it into an inside cradle- One, two, and there's a kickout. So, for those keepin' score at home, that's a near fall for each man underneath a minute or so. The two get back up to their feet and Flesher bearhugs Hawke, now we know what's next- a huge railgun suplex followed by the cover- One, two, and kickout. Hawke tries to get back to his feet but Flesher snatches him in a front headlock followed by a barrage of knees, again, and another attempt for the choke. Instead he gets taken over with an armdrag, another, another, and then Flesher responds with a knee before getting another side headlock. He shoves Flesher off into the ropes and Hawke leapfrogs over but Tom simply takes it as a chance to leave ringside in a brilliant, humorous move. He turns around to see Hawke taking flight over the top rope with a flying lariat that takes them both down, crashing intot he guardrail. You heard me, Hawke took flight with a gorgeous one. Hawke grabs Tom and rolls him back into the ring, he rolls in, and gets a thumb in the eye. He unleashes a flurry of palm strikes, one stiff one right in the face, a knee to the midsection, and he goes for a Fisherman's suplex but gets rolled forward for an inside cradle- One, two, kickout. They get back up to their feet and after an awkward scene following the two fall into the ropes. The two get up, side headlock by Hawke this time, takedown for the cover- One, two, kickout and Flesher grabs his waist, rolls Hawke over onto his back while still being caught in the side headlock- One, two, kickout. He stands up with the arms still wrapped around the waist and he slips out of the side headlock, and is able to finally hit that German suplex with a bridge- One, two, kickout. He keeps a hold of the waistlock and they get back to their feet. He tries for another but Hawke blocks it, switches position, and then throws him over with his own German with the bridge- One, two, kickout. Flesher's out-of-it and Hawke is able to lock in a Fujiwara Armbar, which means Wing Span may shortly follow, but Flesher has a counter. He rolls forward to break free and they both get back to their feet, again. Hawke tries for another ill-fated lariat and Flesher ducks underneath, Jay spins around... and gets cracked by a Yakuza kick that may have resulted in decapitation. Finally Tom Flesher has a definite upper hand and he follows up by dragging him to the turnbuckle, putting his head along the bottom turnbuckle, and hits a running bootscrape. Double stomp, bodyscissors, and finally reversed into Boston Crab. Flesher pushes up in an attempt to break the hold but Hawke fluently switches it up into the STF. He begins to crawl towards the ropes in an attempt for freedom but suddenly Jay Hawke lets go, scrambles up, and drops down an elbow to the back of his head. Cover- One, two, kickout. Hawke snags the front headlock, Flesher throws a few kick into knees, and loosen the grip so he can get behind him for a waistlock. He transitions it into the full nelson and then Hawke slips out to sink in his own full nelson. He then throws him over with a gorgeous dragon suplex, here's the cover- ONE! TWO! THREE! Jay Hawke takes the win in a fantastic match. **** stars, if not more. -- Alright, I'll finish up in a little bit. But this more exhausting than it has any right to be, though I doubt there's any sympathy from the markers.

Thanks man, I do plan on doing finishing it up tonight. The only way my return won't go anywhere (excluding not finishin' up for the PPV) is if I die trying to do the E.C.

My stats should be up pretty soon. The card looks pretty solid too.

THE MAIN EVENT - TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH Tom Flesher and Charlie "GRAPPLAH" Matthews vs. Kerry Staunton and Scott Rageheart ~Team Matflesh. The New Doomtopians vs. Michael Stephens and Landon Maddix ~Michael Maddix to take the win and churn out a delightful Autumn catalouge. Grendel vs. Michael Cross ~Not sure but it's a nice match up. Mike Van Siclen vs. Bruce Blank ~I'm thinkin' Blank but I don't want to count MVS out. Trent Hawk vs. Zyon ~Zyon. Insane Luchador vs. Ciro Vitale ~Ciro. Wildchild vs. Ced Ordonez ~WC. JJ Johnson vs. Martin Hunt ~JJ.

THE MAIN EVENT - TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH The New Doomtopians (Jimmy the Doom and Doomstroyer) vs. Tom Flesher and Charlie "Grappler" Matthews ~Matflesh but don't count the Doomtopian(s) out. House Rules - Escape Pod Match Bruce Blank vs. Grendel ~Blank. Tag Team Match Scott Rageheart and Kerry Staunton vs. Zyon and Insane Luchador ~Rageheart/Staunton, or Rageton, or Heart-taunt, or the roided Canadian duo. Name your tag team because not all are as easy to dub like Matflesh. Question Mark Man... AGAIN! ??? vs. Stryke ~Hmm, I'm figuring Stryke but it's hard to resist the call of the ??? man. OPENING BOUT Trent Hawk vs. Matt "Insert Gimmick Here" Myers ~Well, it'd be really odd for Myers to win.

Let's simmer down. -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- THE MAIN EVENT - HARDCORE CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH Insane Luchador vs. Jimmy the Doom vs. Spike Jenkins vs. Scott Rageheart ~I'm going with Doom, know why? Because Dace is horrorcore and Spike's the King of Cambodia, but the stipulation's so crazy that it's right up Drea's alley. Cruiserweight Exhibition - Non Title Match Michael Cross © vs. Landon "La Cucaracha" Maddix ~I'll go with Maddix. Special Welcoming Committee Match #2 ??? vs. Manson ~God damn it, it's MANSON! Special Welcoming Committee Match #1 Tom Flesher vs. Kerry Staunton ~I'm thinking Flesher but never know. Opening Bout Ghost Machine 3.0 vs. Ced Ordonez ~GM'll never die and that's great.

Well, Blank could take my spot in the main event if he wants to. We could try for IL vs Sly again, if he wants to. Not to be ungrateful for a title shot but there's no way I'd be able to finish a match for it. Edit: Unless you quick bastards have already started the match. Whatever works.

“The Final Countdown” by Europe fades away and 13th Hour returns to a sold-out, buzzing crowd from the legendary Nippon Budokan in Tokyo, Japan. The usually collected crowd has now turned rowdy as the event has acted as a catalyst to their crescendo of nearly losing it. “We’re back, live, and tearing it up like Godzilla at the Nippon Budokan as we wrap up our World Tour,” Mak says. “Tearing it up like Godzilla?” King asks with a roll of his eyes. Mak ignores his partner and continues. “This show will definitely stand the test of time and speaking of which, Maddix is rapidly running out of time before he has to defend his World Title. Because the man he’s taunted for ages is back and finally we will see Michael Stephens and Landon Maddix collide in our main event.” King groans at his partner’s string of puns. “It’s going to get interesting when Stephens shows his true colors, that he always has and always will be Toxxic.” “But first we have Aecas defending his title against four men that the fans voted for on-line… plus Matt Myers. The fans have spoken and who are we to say no? So it will be Aecas, Manson, Stryke, Insane Luchador… and Myers all battling for the International Championship!” “Lord knows how he or IL snuck in there,” King mumbles. “But it’s an interesting stipulation too. It will be wrestled like a gauntlet match but without a set order. So two wrestlers will enter the ring and duke it out until somebody picks up the win. Then the next wrestler comes out to face the winner of the previous match up. Finally it’ll come down to two men and the winner of that will be our International Champion,” Mak explains. “I’d put money on Manson; it’s hard to resist the compelling force of MANSONOSITY,” King predicts. “I think it heavily depends on the order but Aecas has been on a roll since he has returned,” Mak replies. Suddenly Funyon’s booming voice breaks up their conversation. “The following match is set for four falls… and it is for the International Championship! First, introducing…” Silence follows as Funyon’s voice fades away as everybody watches towards the entrance ramp. Suddenly the lights begin to flicker and the sounds of gigantic, pounding foot steps becoming louder. Then it is seen, Matt “Godzilla” Myers- Myers stands there in a cheap dinosaur costume as his arms are held high into the air, lined with plastic imitation bone. The crowd breaks into laughter as he begins to stomp down the aisle and hissing towards the crowd in a venomous manner. He reaches ringside and roars at a cameraman in order to clear a path up onto the ring apron. His hands slip into two pockets and he reveals a handful of sparklers and one lighter. He shoves the sparklers into his mouth as he quickly begins to light each one with a growl from the back of his throat. All the sparkers come to life and Myers throws his head back, unleashing his fiery breath. Funyon stands in the ring and shakes his head before dropping the microphone with the trailing voice, “I’m not even bothering…” He spits out the sparklers as Matthew Kivell approaches him with a look of concern and pity. He recites the rules while patting him down, even running his hands over his foam tail. “Well it’s nice to know we can always hit new lows,” King says with a sigh. “Actually I think he made that costume himself,” Mak replies. The lights seem to get brighter as Mastodon’s “Crusher Destroyer” blares over the sound system and frantic strobe lights begin to flash. The entrance ramp’s curtain is tossed to the side as Manson walks out and immediately starts to head down to ringside. The crowd begins to jeer, while secretly loving that Matt Myers will be fed to the cold-hearted Manson. He runs a hand through his long black hair as he approaches ringside in his usual black tights with matching knee pads, boots, and kick pads. “Introducing… from Denver, Colorado… weighing in at 230 pounds… FEEL THE MANSONOSITY IN THE AIR… MMMAAANNNSSSOOONNN!” He climbs up onto the apron and enters through the ropes with one last gesture to incite the resentful crowd by throwing up the metal horns. He approaches at Matt Myers but gets met by a growl accompanied by grinding jaw. But before he can kick off that jaw cleanly Matthew Kivell steps in the way. He sends him over into his corner as he stands in middle of the ring. He looks at both wrestlers and then signals for the ring bell. DING! DING! DING! Matt Myers holds his arms in front of him as he stomps on the canvas with both feet. Then he emulates every classic Japanese Godzilla movie he’s ever seen, he breaks into a charge with a wail towards Manson. He shuffles over towards Manson until the Raging Bull finally loses his patience and Myers eats an elbow to the face. He reels back and whips his body towards the side to stun his opponent with his tail. Manson, however, looks down in disbelief, and smacks him with a bitch slap that echoes throughout the Nippon Budokan. But Godzilla is only enraged by his action as he leans back his head and throws a headbutt straight for Manson’s face. Instead, however, the foam above Myers’ head harmlessly hits and bounces off of MANSONOSITY’S forehead. He replies by cracking him straight in the jaw with a vicious elbow. He staggers back but leans against the tail in order to gain some extra balance but his celebration of his own wit is cut short as- SMACK! OOOHHHHH! “That was arguably my favorite Raging Lariat in history of the world,” Mak laughs with a hint of sympathy. Myers seems to fuse with the canvas by the impact of the lariat and Manson covers- “ONE!” “TWO!” “THREE!” DING! DING! DING! “First eliminated via pinfall at, uh, hell I’ll round up, the minute mark… MMMYYYEERRSS!” The defeated Myers rolls out of the ring and leans against the barricade. He pathetically rolls himself over to plop onto the other side as he stands back up in the crowd. He glances back with a dazed look before turning around, walking out into the sea (of fans). “No surprise there,” Francis says. “Next time he’ll be Mothra.” Cypress Hill hits as “How I Could Just Kill a Man” begins and it cues a wall of blue and white pyrotechnics to the delight of the crowd. The smoke from the sparks lingers in the air and Stryke walks through it while lifting an arm to rally the crowd. He walks down the aisle with both of his arms extended as excited fans reach out to slap his hands while he remains focused in on the ring. The Australian wears his new blue and white tights with knee pads and boots, replacing his old street clothes attire. “Next, from Sydney, Australia… weighing in at 223 pounds… SSSSSTTTRRRYYYYKKKEEEE!” Stryke hops onto the ring apron and takes one more long look into the packed arena as they continue to cheer him on. He enters the ring and Kivell walks up to him, sending him to his corner while Manson is casually leaning against his. He looks at both men as Manson stands up straight and Stryke gives a slight nod for being ready. DING! DING! DING! The two men slowly inch away from their corners, staring across the ring at each other, before finally approaching towards center of the ring. They circle one another as they try to read each others’ body language to predict and gain the upper hand. Stryke reaches out both hands with a little smirk as Manson cautiously reaches for his hands. Manson’s fingers brush against Stryke’s hand and suddenly the Australian tries to shoot for his legs. But MANSONOSITY sees the move attempt coming and lifts a knee just in time to collide with Stryke’s head. He decides that he liked the feel of his knee against his opponent’s skull so he grabs the stunned Stryke into a front facelock just to bring up another vicious knee. Then he grabs a handful of his tights and quickly takes him over for the snap suplex. He is relentless and lifts Stryke back to his feet just to whip him into the ropes. Stryke comes rocketing back and shocks Manson by throwing up his leg, letting his boot collide into his face with a beautiful Yakuza kick! He reels backwards until Stryke grabs a hold of his wrist to send Manson into the ropes and follows after him. Manson hits against the ropes with Stryke a few strides behind and something triggers the Australian to drop to the canvas in a roll as Manson’s clothesline flies over him. He hops back onto his feet and shows off his agility by leaping onto the top rope to face the crowd. Manson turns around to see his opponent on the top rope and he moves forward in hopes to send him crashing onto the floor. But instead Stryke suddenly uses the rope’s spring to drop down into a seated position and then backflip over his lunging arms. He lands on his feet behind Manson, whose arms grab nothing but air and Stryke locks in a waistlock. The Raging Bull instantly reacts as he begins to push down on Stryke’s hands in hopes to break the lock until he opts for a more familiar approach, throwing back two quick elbows. He breaks out of the hold and whirls, grabbing the back of Stryke’s head, and then connecting with the European uppercut. Stryke stumbles back against the ropes in a daze as Manson looks down at his opponent’s bare chest. He smirks and lunges forward with a brutal knife edged chop right against his chest. Stryke grimaces in pain but responds with his own chop, followed by another, and one last one just for good measure. But the Raging Bull only seems more irritated by Stryke’s attack and comes back with five lightning fast chops right onto the side of his neck. The Australian slumps against the ropes in pain and Manson grabs him, sending him into the ropes. This time Manson bounces into the close ropes as he comes charging at Stryke while he rebounds from hitting the ropes. The two are on a dangerous collision course and MANSONOSITY strikes first as he hurtles himself into the air with a flying knee that cracks his opponent with a reassuring thud and Stryke immediately drops to the canvas. He glances down at the downed, and groaning, opponent as he goes down for the lateral press to make the cover- “After a beautiful opening exchange Manson is able to gain the upper hand with that brutal flying knee. Here’s the pin attempt,” Mak says. ONE! TWO! Stryke kicks out and tries to roll away from safety but Manson almost laughs as he grabs a hold of him. He lifts Stryke up in tow as the two get back to their feet and Manson lunges out for a front facelock but Stryke dodges underneath it. Again he finds himself behind Manson but this time leaps into the air to nail a beautiful dropkick into his back. The momentum sends Manson on an out of control course as he flies out of the ring through the middle rope. Stryke looks around at the crowd who encourage the same thought that’s running through everybody’s mind. He bounces against the ropes and charges after Manson on the outside looking in the set up of a plancha. Manson forces himself back up to his feet as he looks up into the ring in fear while Stryke takes flight through the middle rope with a flying shoulderblock. He connects and the two collide against the steel guardrail to the delight of the fans. “Stryke may have just turned the tides here with that high risk move. In the old days he might have busted out the Tope Con Hilo but he’s taking fewer risks now-a-days and has toned down his style,” Mak says. “Or he realized that it’s just really, really unnecessary to do a somersault before leaping out of the ring to crash-and-burn on the floor,” King snickers. The two begin to get back up to their feet as they each use the barricade for assistance. Meanwhile in the ring Matthew Kivell beings the count out- ONE! Stryke begins to get up from one knee while Manson moves to lean his back against the perpendicular guardrail to recover his breath. TWO! Stryke stands up and his chest heaves as he watches Manson use the guardrail as a crutch but gets to his feet. THREE! Stryke charges at his opponent but Manson bends down to easily get a hand against his chest and one wrapping around his thigh, lifting him high into the air. FOUR! He agonizes the crowd, but most of all Stryke, by benching pressing him before heaving him into the air. FIVE! Stryke comes falling down as he splats gut first against the steel guardrail! The fans all groan in sympathy as there’s a shout from Stryke in pain. He teeters on the edge before flopping over into the crowd as he clutches at his gut. SIX! Manson begins to walk over to the guardrail to retrieve his opponent while he throws the metal horns into the air. SEVEN! He stands over the barricade and leans down to scoop up Stryke but instead gets blasted by the European uppercut from Stryke! The fans rejoice as Stryke climbs over the guardrail as Manson retreats back into the ring. EIGHT! Stryke takes a moment time to regain his breath and push the thoughts of bleeding, internal, and organs out of his mind. NINE! Stryke rolls into the ring just in time and Kivell stops the count. The Raging Bull stands in center of the ring and taunts Stryke to grapple with him. The two walk up and this time Manson slowly offers both hands to tie up. Stryke begins to reach his out as he sees Manson’s knees bend and he knows the takedown attempt is coming. Predictably MANSONOSITY tries for the shoot but Stryke is prepared as he leaps over his back in a flip as he grabs both of his opponent’s thighs to roll him up with the sunset flip! “Pin attempt from the sunset flip,” Mak says. ONE! TWO! Manson kicks out and Stryke rolls backwards to get back to his feet while Manson bitterly stands towards his. Stryke tries to keep the advantage as he runs up and smacks him with a forearm strike. He tries to whip Manson into the ropes but the Raging Bull reverses the momentum, sending his opponent into the ropes instead. A light bulb seems to go off in Manson’s mind as he runs for the other ropes and bounces off to come charging towards his opponent. Again, the two are charging towards each other in an inevitability painful situation for somebody and Manson spins with his elbow out. He connects with Stryke and floors him with a gigantic roaring elbow! He drops down to the canvas to make the cover- “HUGE roaring elbow that could make Danny Williams proud,” Mak says. ONE! TWO! Stryke gets the shoulder up but the dazed look in his eyes says it all. Manson grabs his opponent and they get back up to their feet. The Raging Bull sends a knee to Stryke’s midsection and quickly turns his back to him with an arm wrapped around his neck in a diamond cutter attempt. “Manson’s trying to put Stryke away with his finisher here!” But Stryke shoves him off and narrowly dodges losing his chance at winning the ICTV Championship. Manson turns around and seems ready to strike but Stryke sends a kick to his ribs. It halts Manson long enough for his opponent to leap into the air and smack him straight in the temple with his signature Enziguri! The Raging Bull sways from the move and Stryke scrambles off the canvas as he grabs a headlock and a leg to roll over for the small package. “Another pin attempt,” King says. “Well if you have Insane Luchador and Aecas to beat you’d want to have a full tank of gas too,” Mak says to King’s condescending laugh. Kivell drops to the canvas for the count- “ONE!” The Tokyo crowd chants along. “TWO!” Manson breaks the pin and both men scramble up to their feet to face off yet again. The two don’t bother with trickery or tie ups but instead both of them fall back on one of their specialties- striking. Manson snaps off three forearm blows that rocks his opponent but Stryke quickly responds with a surprising head BUTT followed by an elbow to his opponent’s temple. The Raging Bull sways from the blow but throws out a kick to fend Stryke off long enough for his rattled head to recover. He watches Stryke leap off the canvas and he throws both arms into the air against the side of his head to foil the Enziguri attempt. Now with Stryke trying to rush up to his feet Manson is able to take advantage as he catches him with a kick directly into his face while he scrambles to get up. He crumbles back down against the canvas as he clutches his face with a weird groan coming out. Manson swoops down and lifts his opponent up to his feet to whip him into the ropes and he bounces into the other ropes. The two rapidly approach and Manson braces and then throws himself out for his finisher, the Raging Lariat! But Stryke sees the move coming and he drops down to the canvas in a baseball slide. The slide connects and trips Manson down to the canvas face first but he quickly gets up to all fours. Stryke snatches Manson’s arm in a fujiwara armbar but then he rolls him up with a La Majistral Cradle in an attempt to get the win- “ONE!” Manson’s legs kick furiously as he tries to break free. “TWO!” “THREEEEEE!” But Kivell shoots up two fingers to the crowd’s groan as Manson barely breaks the pin in time. Stryke grabs Manson and begins to lift him up to his feet but the Raging Bull has a surprise. Once on his knees he throws a jab into Stryke’s gut to force him opponent to bend over in pain. He explodes from the canvas and spins to snatch Stryke’s neck with his arm and brings it down to this shoulder in a prelude to a diamond cutter. He seems ready to drop but the slippery Australian pushes at Manson’s arm and then frees himself from the second attempt at the Consequences. He immediately reacts at his positioning as he bends down with an arm wrapped around Manson’s midsection with his head underneath his armpit for extra leverage. The crowd goes crazy as Stryke lifts Manson up into the air with a hasty Backdrop Driver! “Backdrop Driver! This may seal the deal for Stryke to move on,” Mak says. “These two are getting desperate because they are trying their finishers left and right,” King says in observation. “Right, I think Manson should stop going for Consequences, the Diamond Cutter, because that’s a finisher he recently dusted off,” Mak replies. But without his leg cradled Manson is able to throw his weight backwards and flip out of the precarious situation. He runs backwards and bounces off the ropes as Stryke reels around to see the Raging Bull charging his way. He panics as Manson throws out his arm in another attempt for the Raging Lariat to finally put away Stryke! But the Australian ducks underneath and immediately takes advantage of the situation. He uses Manson’s lifted arm to stick his head underneath to get the extra leverage again, wraps an arm around his midsection, and to end the fluent chain of motions he reaches forward to snatch Manson’s leg to the crowd’s delight. He quickly makes the lift as Manson’s face scrunches as Stryke falls back and the Raging Bull’s eyes are staring at the canvas, upside down. He crashes against the canvas at a dangerous angle as his neck seems to fold like an accordion from an absolutely brutal Backdrop Driver! The entire crowd flinches from the brutality that move brought but then break into a chorus of cheers for Stryke. “Jesus! Now that’s a backdrop driver,” King admits. “Here’s the cover,” Mak says as Stryke hooks the leg. “ONE!” The crowd chants. “TWO!” “It looks like Stryke’s going to move on,” Mak says in delight. Manson’s body wiggles as he tries to muster up the strength to kick out. “THREEEEEEE!” The crowd responds in delight as Matthew Kivell signals for the bell as a wave of relief comes over Stryke. DING! DING! DING! “Second elimination via pinfall… at 7:32… MMMAAANNNNSSSOOOONNNN!” “Stryke has to overcome two more men and both of them are not ones who are easy to put away,” Mak says as Stryke’s face seems to suddenly reflect that thought in the ring as his chest heaves. Manson rolls out of the ring and plops onto the floor as he stares back up into the ring with a hand against his neck. The Raging Bull makes eye contact with Stryke until he finally leaves ringside and heads up the ramp. “Right, one of those men is talented and that man is also seven foot flat,” King says with a laugh. “Man in the Box” begins by Alice in Chains and the crowd goes wild for Insane Luchador’s arrival. Black and red pyrotechnics explode and IL walks out with his arms thrown high into the air to milk the cheers from the fans. He begins to walk down the aisle with his eyes focused on the ring with that psychotic grin spread wide across his face. The same baggy khaki cargo pants, beaten up black skate shoes, a black t-shirt, and his hair wildly spiked up. “Next, from Easton, Pennsylvania… weighing in at 221 pounds… IIINNNSSAAANNNEE LLLLLUUCCHHHAADDDOORR!” He bursts into a sprint down the aisle with his hands outstretched as he makes a dive at ringside to slide into the ring. Stryke barely has time to even get his hands up as Insane Luchador rushes forward with an overhand right. It connects and he snaps off another that rattles Stryke but the third gets knocked out of the air. Stryke retaliates with his own overhand right but Insane Luchador blocks it with his arm in mid-air and uses his free arm to snap off an elbow. IL grabs Stryke and goes for the Irish whip but it is reversed and Stryke charges right after Rickmen. The fresh Luchador nears the ropes and foils Stryke’s plans as he hops onto the top rope to backflip all the way over Stryke. But the Australian isn’t impressed or fazed so he just bounces against the ropes to smack IL hard with a forearm. Luchador attempts to retaliate but first Stryke leaps into the air and attempts to crush Luchador’s skull in with a hard Enziguri kick! Rickmen, clearly unsatisfied with how things have gone so far, rolls out of the ring to the floor. Despite the logic that screams at Stryke he finds himself standing near the ropes and ready to take flight again. “It worked earlier, perhaps it’ll work again,” Mak says. Insane Luchador stands up and looks up with expectations to see 233 pounds coming at him but instead he sees Stryke’s hesitation in the ring. Luchador takes advantage as he reaches under the bottom rope to snatch both ankles and trip him down to the canvas. He immediately hops apron and then onto the top rope in wait as Stryke rolls up to his feet. The Psychotic Hero leaps off and wraps legs around Stryke in a springboard hurricanrana! But Stryke uses the ropes close proximity to his advantage. He guides Luchador’s body so that his back bounces against the ropes and Stryke uses the momentum to spin around to nail the slingshot sit-out powerbomb reversal! The ambivalent crowd begins to take sides as Stryke stands up and Insane Luchador coughs on the canvas while the mixed reaction pours in. “Brilliant counter by that springboard hurricanrana attempt,” Mak says. He reaches down and grabs a fistful of Luchador’s black spiked hair as he tugs him up to his feet. He steps forward to grapple but instead Rickmen snaps off an elbow to halt Stryke and then takes him over with an armdrag. They both scramble up to their feet and this time Stryke is able to flip his opponent into the air with an armdrag. Again they both race up to their feet and Rickmen answers back with yet another armdrag. Both wrestlers quickly roll back up but this time Stryke jumps into the air to surprise Luchador with a dropkick. He stuns his opponent and he gets back up to hit Rickmen with a European uppercut! IL backpedals against the ropes but finds himself Irish whipped to the other ropes. “Armdrag duels are cute and all,” Mak says, “but it isn’t a good idea for Stryke. He really needs to know when to keep the pace slow and when to really try to put him away.” “Right and if Rickmen eventually figures out that, well, he might have a chance of winning this match up. Against Aecas, however…” “Insane Luchador won the SJL World Title at Countdown to Genesis against Aecas and the English Dragon,” Mak informs King, who isn’t listening. “Granted it took four or so Evenflow DDTs to put him down for the count…” Mak continues to King, who still isn’t listening. Insane Luchador hits the ropes and watches Stryke barreling towards him as he leaps through the air. He takes Stryke by surprise and smacks him down against the canvas with the flying forearm. The two roll back up to their feet and Rickmen throws a kick into Stryke’s gut. He locks in the side headlock but suddenly Stryke gets an arm around Luchador and a hold of his leg. He hoists him into the air and drops down to the canvas with Rickmen with the backdrop suplex. “I hope IL realizes how close that could’ve been to a backdrop driver if Stryke had more time,” King says. “He needs to watch himself if there’s a guy who also specializes in roll-ups.” Stryke gets back to his feet and Rickmen rolls back up. He shakes his head as he looks at Stryke, the thought of the potential backdrop driver dawning on him, and gives a smirk. They collide again in another tie up and this time Stryke throws a knee into Luchador’s midsection. He whips Luchador towards the turnbuckles and breaks into a chase after him. IL smacks against the turnbuckles and slightly slumps down but knows that Stryke’s on the attack. He wraps his arms in the top rope and leans back against the turnbuckle before throwing both feet up into the air that smash into Stryke’s chest. He grabs his chest while stumbling back as Luchador hops onto the top turnbuckle, looking ready to take flight. But Stryke shocks the Ill One as he surges forward before leaping into the air with a crisp dropkick that hits dead-on that sends Luchador falling off of the turnbuckle, smacking onto the apron, and finally landing onto the outside. This time Stryke doesn’t bother with any aerial acts but instead just rolls to the outside to collect Luchador. “That was a great counter to what I’m assuming was going to be Luchador’s Crossbody,” Mak says. “But Stryke should be careful when he decides to go toe-to-toe on the outside, it used to one of IL’s advantages.” “His only advantage,” King corrects. He grabs the arm of Luchador and tugs until he sits up. Kivell leans over the top rope to first demand the two come back into the ring but it quickly dissolves into a plea, followed by an eye roll with the start of the count-out- ONE! Stryke leans down to send a powerful knife edged chop across Luchador’s chest and then follow it with a kick to his back. TWO! He continues the assault with another identical chop and then unleashes a spree of kicks to Luchador’s back. He pauses and Luchador scrambles up to his feet in hopes to avoid anymore seated back kicks. He throws a right haymaker in desperation but Stryke easily dodges it and then floors him with a dropkick. THREE! Andrew Rickmen rolls right back up to his feet with a growl as he comes forward with a hard Kesagiri chop onto Stryke’s neck. FOUR! He unleashes two more in rapid succession before throwing in a kick to switch things up but then falls back to throwing yet another Kesagiri. He grabs the stunned Stryke and simply throws him against the ring apron. FIVE! He lunges after his opponent but Stryke evades him and backs away to keep distance. IL smacks the ring apron with both hands like a child throwing a tantrum as he begins to pursue after Stryke. SIX! He lunges out with a high kick right into Stryke’s face and it sends him reeling backwards. Luchador leaps onto the guardrail, praying there aren’t too many Stryke fans out in front, and he runs like a suicidal tight walk performer. SEVEN! Luchador leaps into the air with a Crossbody but it is caught by Stryke who simply drops to a knee to counter it into a backbreaker. EIGHT! He keeps a hold of Rickmen and rolls him back into the ring, then slides in. “Luchador’s advantage, eh?” King taunts his partner. Insane Luchador charges in frustration and walks straight into another dropkick by Stryke. He staggers back as Stryke rolls back up to his feet and he taunts the Luchador with a little shrug. Andrew Rickmen rushes up again and Stryke throws a high kick but Luchador ducks underneath it. Before he can even get off a shot, however, Stryke cracks him straight in the face with an elbow. The Australian finds Luchador’s increasing temper comical as he comes at him again but he fends the Ill One off with another elbow. Stryke takes a step forward and leaps into the air with a dropkick but Luchador steps to the side to swat him down. He rolls back up to his feet and tries to back away but Luchador smothers him. He balls both of his fists and looks Stryke right in the eyes with a little smirk before letting his fists fly. He begins with a right hook to the ribs, left hook to the floating ribs, a wicked right straight into the kidney, a left straight into the gut, and finally he cocks back his arm to unleash a brutal right straight against Stryke’s jaw. Meanwhile Stryke reels back from the flurry of body shots but Rickmen continues to press on. He grabs Stryke in his own version of a Muay Thai clinch and begins to bring his knees into the air against his opponent’s body. He stops the knee assault and instead whips him into the ropes as he remains put. Stryke bounces against the ropes and is helpless as Luchador smacks him in the gut with a front kick, lunges forward, and locks in the front headlock. He raises his free arm into the air to garner the crowd’s support, sans the loyal Stryke fans, and he drops down to the canvas to spike Stryke’s head with the Evenflow DDT! “Luchador’s former finisher, the Evenflow DDT, and he is regaining control here. This stamina is making such a difference here and I can’t imagine how Stryke’s body aches after all those blows,” Mak says. Luchador looks down on the canvas at Stryke who flops onto his back with a heaving chest accompanied by a low groan. He then looks towards the turnbuckle and the Ill One hops over his opponent as he points over to the turnbuckle to a roar of approval. He walks over and hops onto the top turnbuckle, stands up while facing the crowd, throws up his arms, and doesn’t even glance back at his opponent. He bends his knees and leaps into the air as he throws his weight backwards in his signature Moonsault! He rapidly descends while Stryke notices a blotch cover up the house lights he was staring at. Luchador connects right across Stryke and lies there for the cover- “ONE!” The crowd chants. Stryke tries to get his shoulders up but Luchador has them pinned down. “TWO!” “THREE!” But Stryke uses his lower body to thrust into the air in order to break the pin. Kivell throws up two fingers, to a mixed reaction across the Nippon Budokan, and Rickmen runs both hands through his spiked hair. “What’s wrong Luchy? Pressure gettin’ to you?” King jokes. Mak sighs. “I imagine he’s frustrated but Luchador sure has been all over the place far as his attitude is concerned.” King pauses to think that over and asks, “How’s that any different than any other time?” Luchador gets Stryke in his clutches and he stands up while lifting him his opponent up with him. He Irish whips him into the ropes and begins to follow after Stryke. But the Australian rapidly approaches the ropes and he hops onto the middle rope, using it as a springboard to fly backwards, and collide into Luchador with a springboard back elbow. He grabs Rickmen while on the canvas and as he begins to lift him up he starts to lock in the front facelock. He slings Rickmen’s arm over his neck and he hoists his opponent into the air. But instead of dropping down to the canvas Stryke decides to get a helping hand as he drops Rickmen’s feet onto the top rope to get the extra momentum to hit the slingshot suplex. The Australian doesn’t even kid himself with going for a pin on the tenacious Luchador so he jumps into the air, crosses his arms across his chest, leans back, and hits the back senton. He gets right back to his feet as Luchador rolls away before scrambling to his feet. Stryke charges at his opponent and catches him off guard as he jumps into the air with his legs in motion for another Enziguri kick! Rickmen staggers from the blow and slightly slumps over as everybody expects a roll-up attempt from Stryke. Instead he forces himself up to his feet quickly as he gets the standing headscissors on Rickmen. He then wraps his arms around Luchador’s waist and tries to lift him up for the piledriver but the Ill One plants his weight. Stryke pauses and then gives another lift but Luchador falls down to one knee in prevention. Finally Stryke quickly lets one arm free as he sends down an elbow right into the back of Rickmen’s skull to rattle him, wraps that arm back around his torso, lifts him up, and then sits down for his signature piledriver. Andrew’s skull bounces off the canvas but Stryke maintains a hold on his waist. He gets back to his feet, forcing Rickmen up to his, as he secures the standing headscissors again. This time, however, he grabs both of Rickmen’s arms in the double underhook and with relative ease he lifts him into the air, taking him over for the double underhook suplex. Stryke lies on top for the cover and hooks one of Luchador’s legs- “ONE!” “Nice way to chain those two moves together,” Mak says. “TWO!” But Kivell stops the count and taps on Stryke’s shoulder to point out Rickmen’s leg slung over the bottom rope. He swears and gets up to his feet to recuperate while Andrew Rickmen uses the ropes as an aid. He stands there with his hands on his hips, adjusting his tights, and his eyes reflect the wheels in his head turning for a new game plan. Insane Luchador rolls onto one knee and looks up at Stryke before standing up, carefully walking towards Stryke. Finally the two come within range and collide into a grapple until Stryke is able to lock in the side headlock. But Rickmen easily frees himself and shoves his opponent into the ropes. He stands firm as Stryke comes back and the two collide in a shoulderblock but both men just stumble back. Immediately they tie up again and this time Luchador slips underneath to get behind Stryke. He wraps his arm around the neck of Stryke, forcing him to arch his back as he stares up at the ceiling before getting dropped down for the reverse DDT! Luchador hooks both legs for a pin attempt- ONE! TWO! Stryke breaks the pin and Insane Luchador stands back up. He bends over to pick up Stryke but instead gets a kick to the side of his head. The Australian regains the advantage as he stands up and snatches the bent over Luchador before flipping him over in a gutwrench suplex. But Rickmen rolls back to his feet in refusal to stay down as Stryke grunts in frustration. Insane Luchador runs back into the ropes and comes charging at Stryke who throws out a clothesline in hopes to floor him. Instead Insane Luchador ducks underneath it and bounces into the ropes again. This time he comes at him but Stryke outsmarts him with a simple leap frog. Luchador is persistent though as he bounces into the ropes for the third time. This time he attempts to decapitate Stryke with a clothesline but the Australian luckily ducks underneath. Like déjà vu Stryke is able to secure an arm, get his head underneath Luchador’s arm for leverage, and he reaches forward to snag the legs. He swiftly lifts Rickmen into the air but the backdrop driver falters as Rickmen isn’t quite high enough yet and he looks ready to drop IL back onto the canvas. The Ill One takes advantage of this as he flips out of it and wraps an arm around the back of Stryke. He runs forward and leaps into the air to spike Stryke down with a bulldog! “See what happens when you lift with your back instead of your knees?” King jokes with a smirk. “There can’t be too much left in Stryke’s tank if he couldn’t get his finisher,” Mak says in concern. Stryke rolls over onto his back as Insane Luchador walks over him. He assesses the situation and a psychotic grin spreads across his face, triggering a few sporadic cheers, and he sprints for the turnbuckle. He climbs to the top turnbuckle, back to the crowd, and doesn’t waste any time as he leaps off. He remains totally vertical as he even brings up his knees and thrusts them down to add extra damage to the double stomp! He hops off of Stryke’s chest as if it’s no problem and he sprints to the other turnbuckle. Meanwhile Stryke lets out a scream as his body thrashes from the brutal double stomp. “Double stomp off the top rope and Luchador isn’t finished!” Mak exclaims. Insane Luchador vaults onto the top turnbuckle and blindly leaps off, high into the air going for the moonsault! Stryke knows exactly what to do but Luchador is rapidly descending and he begins to roll- “Luchador got the moonsault! Here’s the pin!” Luchador, indeed, barely connected with the moonsault and he lays on top for the pin. “ONE!” The crowd chants. “TWO!” “Looks like it’ll be Insane Luchador versus Aecas,” Mak says in glee. “Terrific.” Stryke attempts to break the pin but can’t quite pull it off. “THREE!” DING! DING! DING! “The third elimination… at 15:27… SSSTTRRYYKKEE!” Insane Luchador gets off of Stryke and stands up to retreat into a corner in hopes to gain his breath. Meanwhile Stryke clutches his ribs as he rolls out of the ring and gracefully takes the walk of shame up the aisle. “Well, if nothing else, maybe Aecas can snap IL’s neck,” King says. “What.” “…Oh right, got that covered,” King shamelessly says. Suddenly darkness sweeps over the Nippon Budokan and a graveyard bell softly rings until… Are you scared? The fans shake off the creeps as the voice fades away. He’s here… “Of course he’s here, he’s the last guy in the match,” King says. “Death in Fire” blares by Amon Amarth and the Smarktron slowly glows to life. A lightning bolt flashes and Aecas’ face is seen in that second with a sadistic grin to rival Luchador’s. Red lights begin to frantically strobe about and a screen of smoke slowly begins to seep through the entrance ramp. Finally a crimson spotlight highlights Aecas, the seven foot beast with the infamous Flick Scythe. He holds the staff high above his head in both hands and the blades are suddenly exposed. He tilts back his head and lets out a bloody mist from his mouth as some of it trickles back down onto his face while he welcomes it. He begins to walk towards the ring ramp as the lights still strobe but following his path down to the ring. “It’s not like we’re going to lose sight of him,” King jokes. King, in this instance, is absolutely right. It’s hard to not pay attention to the demonic Aecas, 7’ tall, black hair that comes down to his shoulders, black leather pants and New Goth rocker boots, the totally white eyes from those contacts, the pale skin that clashes with the twisting black dragon tattoo that covers his chest and back, and the “DEATH” painted on his forehead in black face paint. But, most importantly to IL, the ICTV Championship is strapped around his waist. “Introducing… your International Champion- from Shrewsbury, England… weighing in at 315 pounds… AAAAAEEECCCAASS!” “IL is a former ICTV Champion, King; I don’t think it’s totally implausible for him to win tonight,” Francis says. “But Aecas has been destroying whoever we have been putting in front of him.” “That’s what I’m hoping,” King says. “Besides, IL won the belt off Grappler… at the PPV where he was also the main event. Then he lost it to Toxxic, what, like the next show or so? Plus this is the International Championship now, not ICTV.” Mak winces and says, “Oh, that’s true. Well, you know, excuse me if I said ICTV here and there, I don’t feel like going back and correcting myself every time.” Aecas continues his walk down the aisle without taking his eyes off Rickmen while the ballsy enough fans slap his back or try to run their fingers along his belt. He reaches ringside as he places the Scythe Flick against the guardrail and climbs onto the ring apron. He enters the ring through the middle ropes as the lights come back on, the cheers die down, and Aecas has a psychotic smile spread across his face, but so does the Ill One. He steps away from the corner as he walks towards center of the ring where Kivell stands. Aecas walks over and his face doesn’t fade into the usual stoic expression but that grin remains. Kivell removes the International Championship belt and holds it high in the air as the house light catches it at –just- the right angle, producing a glistening shine. The two men still don’t blink, change their facial expressions, or even acknowledge the title being held out. “I’m actually feeling pretty excited King,” Mak honestly says. “There’s some definite tension in that ring and if there’s two guys I expect carnage out of, well, it’s those two.” Kivell skips the usual lecture because he just wants to get out of the way of whatever is about to go down. He makes sure each man is ready and he practically leaps away, calling for the bell. DING! DING! DING! “This is it,” King says. “I know, IL has nothing to lose and Aecas has everything, these men will go down swinging,” Mak replies. “Laughing too, but I meant ‘this is it’ here comes IL’s death.” “Something tells me that IL wouldn’t be stopped by death,” Mak laughs. “What? Like he’d sell his soul to the devil? Wouldn’t he just be paying Aecas?” Then the banter stops as both men move closer to each other. Insane Luchador’s smile fades and balls his hands into fists as Aecas does the same. The two lunge at each other at the same time, before of them beginning to wail on each other with shots! Aecas grabs the back of Luchador’s head and holds it steady as he cracks him in the face with a forearm strike. But IL hangs in there and throws an uppercut to an unresponsive Aecas, who unleashes another forearm. This time Rickmen throws a shotei straight into the big man’s chest. He takes a step back but comes right back with a huge Kesagiri chop down across Luchador’s neck. Rickmen responds, for his own convenience due to height, with three rapid chops against Aecas’ ribs. Again Aecas clutches the back of Luchador’s head and pulls him into this forearm strike, sending him down to the canvas. He rolls right back up, though, but gets floored again by another forearm blow. This time he rolls away from Aecas and stands up as he checks his nose for blood, looking disappointed at the lack there of. The International Champion goes back into the ropes and comes stampeding towards Rickmen, who drops down with a basement dropkick to the knee. He falls onto one knee and Rickmen quickly rolls back up to his feet just to dropkick him in the chest. Now with the big man on the ground IL pounces as he gets on top of Aecas while shamelessly raining down sloppy, hard punches onto his opponent. But soon enough Aecas uses his weight and sheer strength as he lifts his lower body, throwing Luchador off of him. The two scramble to their feet and Rickmen instantly leaps out with a dropkick that connects with the Champion in the chest. It throws him off balance and Luchador rolls back up to his feet to take advantage. He whips Aecas into the ropes as he bounces into the other side. They come bolting towards each other and Aecas lifts up his arm for his Decapitator Lariats but Luchador ducks underneath. Both men bounce into the ropes again and this time Luchador leaps into the air with a Lou Thesz Press. But Aecas catches him and drops down to give him a spinebuster that shakes the canvas. “Oh! Brutal spinebuster by Aecas, I don’t think IL has any clue what to do here,” Mak says. “Again, I reiterate, how is that different from normally?” Luchador rolls away while grabbing at his back as Aecas stands up with a sadistic grin. He approaches Andrew Rickmen to lift him back up but instead is taken off his feet with a leg sweep kick. He falls flat onto his back and Luchador gets on top of him again but with a different technique. This time he brutally uses the tip of his elbow bringing it up into the air to the side then guiding it straight into Aecas’ jaw. He begins to get desperate as he feels Aecas beginning to work up the toss-off and he brings them down more rapidly. Finally he’s thrown off, yet again, and he rebounds right up to his feet while Aecas sits up, taunting Luchador by scratching at his jaw. He stands up to see Insane Luchador try to ambush him but Aecas simply brings up his foot to brand New Goth Rock’s design into his face forever. He smacks against the canvas but rolls right back up to his feet without hesitation. The International Champion uses that painful karate chop, the Kesagiri, against Luchador’s neck twice in rapid succession before he spins and lands a rolling Kesagiri! IL stumbles back and grabs at his neck while Aecas charges forward to shoulderblock him down to the canvas. He tries to hop over Luchador to get to the ropes but instead he gets tripped at the ankles. This time Luchador mounts onto Aecas’ back and grabs a handful of his wild black hair, yanking his head up. He mercilessly slams Aecas’ face down against the canvas! Matthew Kivell tries to protest, using the hair pulling as the reason, but Luchador does it once more. He stops and tries to get his arms in place for the Camel Clutch but the gigantic Aecas simply begins to stand up. Insane Luchador clutches on, however, and quickly changes strategy as he brings an arm across his opponent’s throat. He sinks in the rear naked chokehold by getting his left arm against the other side of Aecas’ head and his right hand clutches the left arm for that extra squeeze. He then takes a chance as he hops off the canvas to apply the body scissors as Aecas begins to lean back from the hold. “Insane Luchador is approaching this logically, the rear naked chokehold may be his best bet right now,” Francis says, “but it really becomes effective once Aecas hits the canvas.” Luchador leans his weight back and Aecas’ knees buckle before collapsing down to the canvas. IL grunts as he pulls back even harder but immediately Kivell leaps in to break the hold up. He lets go in confusion, wondering if Aecas tapped or if he’ll be wanted for murder, and then sees Aecas’ boot slung over the bottom rope. He swears and scrambles to his feet as Aecas rolls onto all fours before getting back up. This time he checks his nose for blood but there still hasn’t been a crimson mask shed. They collide in center of the ring yet again as Luchador throws out a spinning backfist directly into Aecas’ ribs. The International Champion responds as he grabs Andrew Rickmen’s head and unleashes a forearm strike right into Luchador’s mouth. But he holds onto IL’s head so he can’t crumble to the mat because he delivers another stiff strike, and another, and then one final one to make sure the Ill One falls down to the canvas. He does and he rolls away from Aecas as he gets onto one knee, brushing the back of his hand across his mouth. He looks down to see a crimson smear on his hand and he looks up with a psychotic grin towards Aecas. He breaks into a sprint at Aecas and is able to take him off guard as he begins to throw thigh kicks just as a warm up. Then he unleashes a European uppercut, followed by three Kesagiri chops, and finally he reaches up to grab Aecas’ head, tugs it down, and leaps into the air with both knees up to hit him directly in the face. Aecas reels back but doesn’t fall down as Insane Luchador leaps into the air and wraps his legs around Aecas’ neck. He attempts to go for the hurricanrana but the International Champion catches him and allows him to dangle down for his finisher the Executioner, the Ganso Bomb. But Andrew Rickmen uses his abdominal strength to pull his lower body forward into the air as he throws right hands that stagger Aecas. Finally he finds himself with his back to the ropes with Rickmen still raining down blows. Aecas finally gives up on the hopes of his finisher but certainly doesn’t mind the alternative. He takes a step forward and guides Rickmen down to the canvas with a powerbomb, complete with holding onto the legs for the cover, ONE! TWO! Insane Luchador breaks it and rolls backwards, away from Aecas. He stands up and charges, leaping into the air with a high dropkick. His skate shoes connect against the Champion’s chest as the momentum flips him over the ropes but he clutches the top to keep from falling down to the floor. He quickly gets back up to both feet in time for Luchador to fire an elbow. He then grabs the top of Aecas’ head and guides him to the exposed steel turnbuckle corner. He brutally slams his head against the steel but feels that isn’t adequate. He pulls Aecas’ head back and repeats the process as fans everywhere are disgusted by the thud of skull colliding with steel. But this time he stops as he hops onto the top turnbuckle with a hold of Aecas’ head. He grabs the back of his head with both hands and leaps onto the ring apron of the other side of the turnbuckle, smacking his forehead against the steel. Aecas wraps an arm around the ropes for support but this time his head tilts back from the impact as his forehead’s face paint is replaced with a rather nasty gash. Blood instantly begins to flow down his face as Luchador hops back into the ring. He charges at Aecas but the International Champion sends a back hand that connects with Rickmen in the mouth. He rocks back and turns his head to spit out a stream of blood right into the ring. He wipes his bloody mouth on his shirt’s shoulder as if it was a little kid with spaghetti sauce with a smirk of amusement. But he doesn’t allow himself to be distracted as he hurtles himself at Aecas with a kick to the gut through the middle and top ropes. Aecas collapses onto the ring apron from the hard blow while Luchador’s leg awkwardly causes him to lose his balance as he pulls it back into the ring. “Insane Luchador is being absolutely merciless but that is the only strategy that can possibly work for him,” Francis says in an attempt to justify his brutal actions. Aecas clinches onto that top rope as he begins to stand up on the ring apron as Luchador rolls back up to his feet. He runs forward and leaps high into the air as he throws an Enziguri that cracks Aecas right in the temples! The International Champion flies off the apron, all the way down to the floor but his upper body smacks into the guardrail. He leans over the guardrail in an attempt to recover as IL picks himself back up. He stares at his opponent and gets an odd little psychotic grin across his face. He runs two fingers across his bloodied mouth, dipping a bit into the gums, and scribbles out “DEATH” on his forehead in blood to match Aecas’. “Good Lord,” King mutters. Insane Luchador looks around the arena where the crowd encourages him to do whatever is running through his mind. He runs back into the ropes and sprints towards the helpless Aecas on the outside. The fans hold their breath, while the ones in the area bail, as Insane Luchador reaches his launching point as he grabs the top rope for extra help as he vaults from the ring in a flipping motion. He does a full body flip before he flies through the air as if casually sitting down. Aecas slightly turns his head in total disbelief as Insane Luchador lands onto the back and shoulder’s of Aecas with a Seated Senton Plancha! “HOLY SHIT!” The chant, somehow well known, spreads across the entire arena. Aecas and Luchador both violently spill into the front rows as Kivell almost looks confused by IL’s flight but he still begins the count- ONE! “Damn! Luchador just risked it all for that suicidal plancha, it could be a double count out or it could have led to an easier victory,” Mak says. TWO! Two loud, distinct groans are heard- one of pain, another of pain, perhaps some regret, and even a hint of laughter. King fumbles for an insult. “How unnecessary, now the company’s health insurance prices will soar.” THREE! A gigantic hand is seen grabbing onto the guardrail but it drops. FOUR! Insane Luchador’s arm is suddenly appears slung over. FIVE! Aecas’ hands grab the guardrail but there’s little movement from either party. SIX! Finally Insane Luchador’s head pokes out as he gingerly touches his forehead where a small cut is. A few feet away Aecas shoulder is seen. IL stumbles up to his feet and he flops over the guardrail onto the floor. He shakily stands up and looks at the deserted area, chairs askew, and a Champion who may be counted out. SEVEN! IL reaches over the barricade and aids Aecas in his standing up, whether he wants to or not. Suddenly the Champion violently jerks his arm free and climbs over the barricade. EIGHT! They glance at each other, inches apart, awkwardly and then look up at the ring. NINE! They both dart to slide into the ring and roll up to their feet. “These guys are tenacious,” Mak says in amazement. “Psychotic people tend to have that quality,” King dryly replies. They both stand there until Insane Luchador’s face twists in a smirk and he comes bouncing into the ropes but Aecas responds. He takes a few steps and throws out his arm that collides with Luchador in a moment where man now knows how far back a neck can go without breaking. He hits the canvas and crumbles in a heap as his hands instantly grab at his neck from the devastating Decapitator Lariat! The International Champion swoops down to make the cover- “ONE!” “There’s no way Luchador is going to kick out when there’s over three hundred pounds on you,” King says. “TWO!” “I’m inclined to agree here,” Mak says. “But it was certainly an amazing fight he put up. “THREE!” Aecas nods as the crowd finishes the chant as he waits for the ring bell. Then Kivell, looking rather worried, taps him on the shoulder to point to Luchador’s foot slung on top of the bottom rope. Aecas’ usually stone face twists into a rage as he gets up to his knees, grabs Luchador by his spiked hair, and yanks him to his feet. He whips Insane Luchador into the ropes as he bounces into the other ropes with body language screaming another Decapitator Lariat on deck. They come close to collision until Insane Luchador leaps into the air with a desperate flying forearm that smacks the Champion in the face. It knocks him down as Luchador feels a new rush of hope at finally toppling Aecas from a strike. He rolls back to his feet and gets past his aching body to bounce into those ropes once more while Aecas pushes himself to his feet. “Aecas has actually taken quite a beating here but I’m sure that Luchador is ready to collapse at any moment,” Mak says. “I bet IL will just drop,” King replies. “I’m not sure but that blood loss flowing from Aecas’ forehead is definitely a huge factor here, hell, he possibly could have a concussion. Luchador’s only noticeable blood loss is from his mouth and that bit trickling down his face from that insane seated senton plancha,” Mak argues. He stands up just in time to turn around to see IL in flight again to floor him with another flying forearm. The crowd goes nuts as both men test their limits as they begin to get up yet again. Insane Luchador beats the International Champion to his feet as he bounces against those ropes yet again. Aecas, however, stands up in a total dazed state but he knows what’s coming. He simply side steps in hopes that Rickmen would soar by but instead Luchador only ducks underneath him, bouncing into the other ropes. He turns around and in his frustration, anger pent up at Rickmen, flashbacks to the SJL, and fear of losing his title, he lets out a warrior scream as Luchador goes airborne. The Ill One connects once more with a flying forearm strike with enough force to cause Aecas to drop in a crumbled heap while he crashes onto the canvas. He gets to his knees and crawls over to the feet of Aecas where he grabs each leg. He smirks as he knows exactly where Aecas’ white eyes are looking and he jumps over Aecas’ body with the legs for the bridging pin! “ONE!” The crowd chants. “Could Insane Luchador be our new champion?” Mak excitedly asks. “TWO!” Aecas grunts and is obviously channeling all that’s left to kick out. “Kick out, kid, kick out,” King says while choosing the lesser of two evils. “THRRRREEEEE!” The crowd explodes into cheers. “Insane Luchador has done it! IL is our NEW INTERNATIONAL CHAMPION after an amazing effort from both men,” Mak exclaims. DING! DING! DING! “The final elimination… at 26:06 via pinfall… AAAEECCAASSS! AND THEREFORE YOUR NEW INTERNATIONAL CHAMPION- IIIINNNSSSAAANNNEEEE LLLLLUUCCHHHAAADDOOOR!” Insane Luchador staggers up to his feet as Matthew Kivell lands him the belt. Insane Luchador looks down on it and watches blood droplets from the bridge of his nose fall onto the otherwise glistening belt. He holds it high into the air with a psychotic grin while the crowd gives one last final wave of cheers that drown out “Man in the Box.” “Damn it,” King grunts. He looks down to Aecas who flips onto his stomach, watching the blood puddle he’s created, before finally getting up to his feet. He merely looks at Rickmen and remains calm as he exits the ring to leave Luchador to his celebration. “Don’t forget the rematch clause because this definitely isn’t over. But next is our main event… Michael Stephens versus Landon Maddix!”

Huge congrats to Aecas on his successful title defense, same to our new SWF World champion, plus Davis' win. I haven't been able to do anything but skim the rest of the show. However, I know that Matflesh's match was choice, mostly due to Peter North.

We could do War Games. Get a lil' Petey the Irish Penguin, Dagda, or Midjit in there.

10,320... and finally in.

THE MAIN EVENT - SWF WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH LAST MAN STANDING Landon "La Cucaracha" Maddix © vs. Michael Stephens ~God damn. I'm not entirely sure but my money is on Stephens. SWF INTERNATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH - TAG TEAM TURMOIL! (w/out the tag teams!) Aecas © vs. Insane Luchador vs. Stryke vs. Manson vs. Matt "Cosplay Master" Myers ~Aecas to retain the title... or Myers. BATTLE OF THE WORLD TOUR ICONS "The Divine Wind" Akira Kaibatsu - The Seoul Survivor VS. Zyon © - The Patron Wrestler of Athens ~I don't know. It's a nice match though but I'll give the nod to Zyon. HOUSE RULES - KING'S ROAD MATCH Va'aiga vs. JJ Johnson ~Gotta go for JJ. I expect at least five crazy head drops, one bloody ear, and at least eight face smashing shots. SWF HARDCORE CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH - CAGE MATCH "Hollywood" Spike Jenkins © vs. Sean Davis ~It's hard to bet against the King of Cambodia, you know? But don't count out Davis. The Dead Precedents vs. Tom Flesher and Charlie "Grappler" Matthews ~Flesher and Grapplah (read: Matflesh) Cruiserweight Match Wildchild vs. Grendel ~Gotta' go with WC. Austin Sly vs. Jimmy the Doom ~Don't know. But you don't fuck with the Doom.

For all you lazy bastards. THE MAIN EVENT - SWF WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH LAST MAN STANDING Landon "La Cucaracha" Maddix © vs. Michael Stephens SWF INTERNATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH - TAG TEAM TURMOIL! (w/out the tag teams!) Aecas © vs. Insane Luchador vs. Stryke vs. Manson vs. Matt "Cosplay Master" Myers BATTLE OF THE WORLD TOUR ICONS "The Divine Wind" Akira Kaibatsu - The Seoul Survivor VS. Zyon © - The Patron Wrestler of Athens HOUSE RULES - KING'S ROAD MATCH Va'aiga vs. JJ Johnson . SWF HARDCORE CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH - CAGE MATCH "Hollywood" Spike Jenkins © vs. Sean Davis The Dead Precedents vs. Tom Flesher and Charlie "Grappler" Matthews Cruiserweight Match Wildchild vs. Grendel Austin Sly vs. Jimmy the Doom

Nice one. The highlight, by far, is the line about Edward James never having much luck.

I hate you guys so, so much.

I can be booked for whenever (it may shift over the summer but I'll PM if that's the case).

I can be booked for whenever (it may shift over the summer but I'll PM if that's the case).

I can be booked for whenever.

Okay, we'll try commentary again. But I won't make any remarks about notes in singing, I promise. -- Stephens vs Davis Nice opening exchange between the two men and ring rust ain't got shit on Stephens. The friend dynamic was played off beautifully between the two. I didn't like the "happy (?) side effect of slamming the big man's face against the canvas." to be honest. It just threw me off, you know? Stephens is just killin' that arm after an entire segment but it's good to see Davis outsmart him with that gutbuster. Stomp on the foot and there's a resourceful but dick move (what's a swollen toe between two friends). Stephens is just outsmarting Davis left-and-right which is logical (mostly with his speed). Damn, there's a roll up and the win. That was pretty anti-climatic but it fits for the situation between the two men (Stephens did just enough to get the win, nothing excessive to his friend). Wait, microphone and here comes the goodness- he fully explains his stance about his return, reasoning for rejecting Landon's answer. That's pretty refreshing to be honest, seeing him return but not be out to snap a neck. -- IL vs Hawke Match? What match? (I have reached the pinnacle of my SWF career by using the Joined in Progress- everything is just downhill from here). -- Flesher vs WC This is such a nice clash of styles, plus two great wrestlers (read: writers). I read Flesher's losing match and really liked it so this should be a damn good one. Jesus Christ! King makes a Murderball reference to Mak, that ranks in at one of the most deliciously douche comments in a long, long time. Alright, some foreshadowing (well, not foreshadowing but you know) that Wildchild's mind might not be in at the whole time. That's definitely a no-no against somebody as good as Flesher. Tom Flesher using Melissa as a shield was a bit too cowardly for Flesher but no biggie. I do like how Flesher milks his time outside the ring and you know he's shaking that fast paced opening off. Now Flesher acting innocent to the hairpull is the heel acts we've all come to know and love. Wildchild gets into his groove and Taamo has to bail outside to regroup for the second time (which is really saying something for a quick thinker like Flesher). Wildchild has had enough and decides to take the fight outside instead of wait around. That's also smart because everytime Tom bails it becomes that much harder for Wildchild to get into that groove that wins him matches. Classic Wildchild to go into the ring just to hit a nice plancha. That nine vitality shows as Tom rolls up and not only crotches him but degrades him with a bitch slap. Actually, no, a series of bitch slaps. Damn, a German suplex, that's definitely a surprising move for him to bust out. I was expecting him to try for a roll up because it'd be easy to be that ambushed by his speed. I don't really like the spot where Flesher being so stunned that WC, despite his speed, can get the top rope move off. Or maybe it's a combination of shaking it off and surprise, I'm not sure. Now the shooting star dropkick is a beautiful move to follow up, it's almost like aerial bitch slaps (being able to shoot off two top ropes moves so quick). Damn, don't you think Herrington just would've thrown the match out after that shove but it's a nice heel move. Plus it sets up his offensive comeback that is highlighted by a beautiful straight jacket suplex. (This is the second match where the word "apex" is used). Nice reversal by Wildchild to get out of the King Cobra Clutch and to gain the win. But I have an issue with that- who tries to apply body scissors on their feet? Especially somebody as knowledgeable as Flesher. But, hey, no biggie. Definitely an entertaining match by Dub-Cee, who delivers with a good one. -- JJ vs Spike Brilliant signs and Blazenwing as timekeeper is classic, by the way. Nice opening action between the two. Pugilistic ballerina, muahahahaha. Negative exponents, damn it, why is math in wrestling! Get those tags in place, man. Nice way to set up for the roaring elbow. Wait, shit, okay. It's pretty much over, but hey, appreciate what we have. -- Grendel vs Akira vs Zyon Quick action from the get-go. I'm not sure why Grendel would just watch Zyon check to see if his jaw's busted when there's Akira to be dealt with. Nice lil' spot with the ten count punch to the seated senton and same for the leap frog over to hit a dropkick. Swank, nice. Your style is, by far, the most unique out of anybody else in the federation. But I think we all already now that. "Look ma, cripples can mark da fuck out." ...Classic. You also wrote one of the longest teases for a three count I've ever seen but it's effective. Now that double underhooks with Zyon using it to plant a knee was a beautiful visual, that's a great spot. Damn, a brutal way to eliminate Akira. Zyon's our new champ, congrats.

Read it, it was a good match.

Main Event - Three-Way Dance For The Cruiserweight Title Grendel© vs Zyon vs "The Divine Wind" Akira Kaibatsu Sub-Main Event - International Title Match JJ Johnson© vs "Hollywood" Spike Jenkins Singles Match "The Superior One" Tom Flesher vs Wildchild Hardcore Match Insane Luchadore vs Jay Hawke Singles Match Michael Stephens vs Sean Davis -- Main Event - Three-Way Dance For The Cruiserweight Title Grendel© vs Zyon vs "The Divine Wind" Akira Kaibatsu ~Hmmm, I'm not sure. It could go to anybody but I'm thinking Akira. Sub-Main Event - International Title Match JJ Johnson© vs "Hollywood" Spike Jenkins ~Johnson but don't count Spike out. Singles Match "The Superior One" Tom Flesher vs Wildchild ~Now this is a damn nice match up. But I have to go with Flesher. Hardcore Match Insane Luchadore vs Jay Hawke ~Hawke. Singles Match Michael Stephens vs Sean Davis ~I have to go with Stephens.