Gary Floyd

Jesus, don't go to the Fark thread about Snow's death, as it has some of the stupidest comments on the net I've read in a long time. No wonder I usually avoid the place.

12.) Junk (2000) Plot: A team of petty Jewel thieves find themselves fighting for their lives when the factory they are in turns out to be infested with zombies-including a hot naked chick. Review: Take one part Tarantino knock off, one part Re-Animator, one part Return of the Living Dead 3, and three parts Italian zombie movie, and you get "Junk"- a derivative, unoriginal, but really fun zombie movie that plays like the best one Italy never made-only it's from Japan. The movie borrows liberally from from a variety of movies (the ones mentioned above, as well as Day of the Dead, Bruno Mattei's so bad it's brilliant Hell of the Living Dead, and a few others), yet somehow, it ends up being a blast. The gore is great and plentiful (including quite an original scene where a zombie consumes it's own flesh), as the undead eat human flesh with relish, and people shoot, stab, electrocute, etc. them with gusto. Oh, and there's a hot naked zombie chick (well, she's naked most of the time-when she's not, she's in tight leather) with big tits whose also smarter, faster, and smarter than the other zombies in the movie. While the movie is unoriginal and derivative, that fact is never distracting. What is distracting though, is the English speaking/American actors, who are so bad, it's painful. I'm talking bad local theater production levels bad. You'll cringe whenever they appear on screen. Still, "Junk" is a blast of mindless cheesy fun, and is a perfect "pack of beer with friends" movie. Rating: 7.5/10 Derivative nature and poor acting aside, "Junk" is still a a lot of fun, though it doesn't have much on the mind. Next Time: The Child

I loved it. Better than the first one IMO. If you can't love that, then there is something wrong with you.

I love it when you post cat pictures.

Gamera is friend to all children.

11.) Zombie Holocaust (1980) Plot: Dr. Obrero * (Dan O' Brien) is experimenting on corpses on a remote Island. Well, an expedition team (which includes Zombi 2's Ian McCulloch) ends up on the island-and runs into the Docotor, who has some plans-as well as cannibals and zombies-in store for them. Review: Titled "Dr Butcher M.D." when it came to video in the 80's, "Zombie Holocaust" is an interesting-and fun-blend of two different kinds of Italian Gore flicks: The Italian Zombie movie, and the Italian Cannibal movie-only without any of the animal torture and mutilation of the later. The movie has some nice gore (surgical and otherwise-including an awesome motorboat engine to the head death) and nudity to liven things up, as well as a fun score and tons of camp. Also, unlike other Italian gore flicks of the time, the movie features a little intentional humor to go with it ("The patients screaming disturbed me, performed removal of vocal chords"-that line always gets me), which after the downbeat feeling of Fulci's zombie movies, is something of a breath of undead air. It's nice to see an Italian gore flick that doesn't take itself too seriously for a change. If there is any problem, it's that the zombie aspect feels rather underplayed, as they aren't used for much. Sure, there's that aforementioned death by boat motor, but they don't do a whole lot to threaten the team, as the cannibals are more of a threat. Still, "Zombie Holocaust" is a blast of exploitation that fans of over the top Italian Horror might enjoy. I know I did. *In case you ever wondered where I got the old username Dr Obrero, now you know. Rating: 3/10 as a zombie movie, but 8/10 as a fun exploitation movie. I recommend it. Tomorrow: Junk

"Dirty Work" has, bar none, the best dead hookers joke of all time.

Milky, I love that avatar. I used to kick ass on that game (as Diablo though, but that's a different story.)

Wow, nobody has ever seen that.

Alright, who else is seeing it tomorrow night?

10.) Frozen Scream (1981) * Plot: Mad Scientists (including late minor cult movie icon Renee Harmon) discover a new technology that turns people into remote controlled/frozen zombies that kill. Review: "Frozen Scream" isn't just a bad movie-it's a frustrating one at that. The premise (though campy) is at least original, yet it fails. Why? Well for starters, the acting (save Harmon, who's icy, emotionless performance is sort of interesting) is dreadful. Harmon is clearly the only person in the movie with any acting experience, as everybody else obviously has little to no experience in the field. The only things that break the tedium are the loud (and weird) electronic score (half of the movies cues are from the notably awful backwoods slasher flick Don't Go In The Woods-which H. Kingsley Thurber also scored) and the (unconvincing) gore effects, both of which have a weird low budget charm. The biggest problems though, are the inability to do anything with the interesting premise, and the general uneventfulness of the whole thing. The movie has a goofy but original premise, but it never realizes the potential that it has. Instead, people just babble on incessantly about immortality. It's a movie where you keep waiting for something-anything- to happen, and while a few things do happen (eyeball violence is always welcome), not enough does happen. Still, it's at least better than the Shot On Camcorder zombie movies reviewed here, though that isn't saying much. * The IMDB and a few other sources may say that the movie was made and released in 1975- but it actually came out in 1981. Rating: 3/10 There's some minor pluses, but they are far too many minuses to make it good. Instead, "Frozen Scream" is a total bore. Next Movie: Zombie Holocaust

Disillusioned intellectual "You laugh at me because I'm different" "I laugh at you because you are all the same"

y does everyone move their faces away? i would just sit still with my nose up her pussie and let her fart on me. all the time id be saying more more more more.

Nachtmystium-"Omnivore"

Epic Fail Guy never gets old. NEVER.

09.) Das Komabrutale Duell (1999) Plot: A dude is killed, another guy wants revenge, and people kill each other, then return...over and over again. Lather. Rinse. Repeat. Review: I don't even know why I bother. As I mentioned in my review of Zombie Bloodbath, the 90's gave us a series of horrible shot on camcorder zombie movies. This wasn't just an American phenomenon, as this was also hugely popular in Germany, which has somehow become a haven for terrible microbudget splatterfests. This is no exception, and actually manages to be worse than Zombie Bloodbath. At least Zombie Bloodbath had something resembling a plot. The whole thing literally feels like it was made by a bunch of teenagers with a severe case of Attention Deficit Disorder and a camcorder. There is literally no plot to speak of, and it's the cinematic equivalent of watching somebody play a dreadful "Mortal Kombat" rip off, only somehow worse. Look, just because you and your friends own a camcorder and love horror does not mean you should be making horror movies yourselves. Oh, and Unearthed films: this did not need to be released on DVD stateside, ok? Rating: -/10 Instead of explaining it, I'll let this video do the talking for me Next Time: Frozen Scream

08.) One Dark Night (1983) Plot: A sorority initiation goes horribly wrong when the body of Russian Occultist Karl "Raymar" Rhamarevich returns-as do some corpses that he controls. Review: "One Dark Night" is a movie that is so 80's, you're surprised those annoying "I Love The 80's" shows didn't tell bad jokes about it. It's got an 80's look, everyone dresses like it's the 80's, it has a fun cast (Meg Tilly! Elizabeth G. Daily! Adam West-yes, that Adam West), and a plot that could only come out of the 80's. The movie does have it's share of flaws. Well for starters, the fact that Raymar can cause corpses to awaken, float, and do his general bidding via telekineses is original. Thing is, it ends up being floating corpse dolls/models "attacking" their victims. While it's hilarious at first, it loses it's charm the 3rd or 4th time around. Also, Raymar isn't that frightening or interesting, though the dated optical effects accompanying him are amusing. That's not to say that it's a disaster. In fact, I ended up enjoying it some. The direction by Tom (Friday the 13th Part 6) McLoughlin is solid lively, and the dead themselves are appropriately drippy and gross. The acting is also pretty good (again, a really fun cast), and the final scare works pretty well. "One Dark Night" is pure 80's cheese. It might not be perfect, but it's fun, and would make a great triple feature with The Dead Pit and the underrated Sole Survivor. Rating: Either 6.5 or 7/10. A flawed but watchable piece of 80's fluff. Tomorrow: Das Komabrutale Duell

That's probably my favorite Death Metal album of all time. That or Unquestionable Presence.

I;m late in the party here, and it's already been mentioned, but damn, the new album from Why? is impressive, especially considering I never cared for clouDead.

03.) Zombie Bloodbath (1993) Plot: Zombies rise from an nuclear power plant (built on top of an Indian Battle Ground-oh no!) and attack Kansas. Before I get to reviewing this, it's time for a history lesson. You see, in the 80's, we started to see really (and I mean really) low budget horror. Granted, microbudget horror is nothing new. People were churning out cheap exploitation made for crackerjack money back in the 60's and 70's. The 80's though, gave us a new device: the camcorder. That's right,now anyone could do their own backyard effort. Also, it should be known that the 60's-70's microbudget directors at least had some sort of experience in the business of film and television. The folks with camcorders though, didn't. If there is any consolation, the 1982 shot-on-video "classic" Boardinghouse received a theatrical release in Grindhouse theaters, and is watchable in a what the fuck did I just watch way. The 90's were a dark time to be a horror fan. Sure, Scream came out and gave horror another chance, but it unfortunately lead to a series of poor imitators and inferior sequels, giving the movie some unneeded (but predictable) scorn from angry virgins. The Silence of the Lambs won Oscars, but Hollywood didn't want to call it horror, when it clearly was. Oh, and while there were still zombie movies, they were few and far between. So, that lead to the greatest catastrophe to come to horror from the 90's to this millennium(I think they ended in 2002): the Shot on Camcorder zombie movie. These movies offered something studio horror didn't offer: full on hardcore gore, sexual content, nudity, and zombie mayhem. Sadly, they were done by people with no experience whatsoever in the field of film making, which meant that they were all horrible in every conceivable level, and not in a so bad it's good way. I mean in a so bad it's bad way. Imagine watching somebody's home videos/home movies for about 80-90 minutes. There you go. Now, on to our Review: This is actually the first in trilogy of films from "filmmaker" Todd Sheets, who admits his movies are unwatchable. Instead of reviewing it, here's what you have in store: Horrible mullets. Terrible, rubbery gore A man named Sam (modeled after Sam Kinison) doing a speech about his dead goldfish Butthead. The worse handlebar mustache every committed to anything. Horrible attempts at exposition. No real plot to speak of. Terrible music. Bad gore and make up effects. Terrible attempts at gags. The fact that, just like in every other Shot on Camcorder zombie movie, nobody involved had any previous acting experience. I think you get the point. I've already suffered through it. Don't let it happen to you. Rating: 0/10. You'd have more fun watching a home video of a colostomy than watching this. Avoid at all costs. Tomorrow: Carnival of Souls.

Yeah, so far, so good ... I'll have to admit that I've never seen Zombie Bloodbath, as I try to avoid the (as you appropriately referenced) Shot on Camcorder genre. While I applaud someone's willingness to make a movie on the cheap and push it out there, I want at least a semblance of professionalism in the output, and most of the ones that I've seen have lacked that. But having said that, Carnival of Souls is painfully overlooked, and giving it a 10/10 is most assuredly accurate, and as a huge fan of Italian horror I have to give you a golf clap for the The Living Dead at Manchester Morgue review ... and for the heads-up about the 2-disc DVD that was released. Looks like I'll be doing some shopping this weekend. I actually think that "Bloodbath" was the most fun to write, just because I loved tearing it apart, and I got to explain the whole phenomenon of shot on camcorder zombie movies. I'm going to do one or two more (one is from Germany), so watch out. I honestly believe that the whole S.O.C. sub genre is the worst thing to come to horror. Yes, the worst. One of the reasons I said the 90's were a dark time for horror was because there were plenty of horror movies that never got a lot of attention when released (such as Exorcist III) and only now get the love they deserve. Glad you liked the Carnival of Souls and Living Dead at Manchester Morgue reviews. As I mentioned right before this started, I want to go over zombie movies that tend to be overlooked usually, so that means avoiding the usual suspects.

I actually prefer "Irreversible" to "I Stand Alone." Really hard to watch that one. Troma has come up with some of the best movie titles in the history of anything. Examples: Surf Nazis Must Die! Fertilize the Blaspheming Bombshell Stuff Stephanie in the Incinerator Fat Guy Goes Nutzoid A Nympho Barbarian in Dinosaur Hell Sadly, it's the titles that are better than the movies most times.