Ace309

21 as of two months ago.

Tell them that you're a Fully Informed Juror.

Keep your average in the 80s and try to crack 1100+ for SATs and you're in at absolutely any state school. Hell, the Honors Program at my school accepted people with a 93 average and a 1300 SAT. The schedule is highly variable. Assuming you have 15 hours (which you have to average each semester to graduate in four years, unless you want to summer one year), you can get it down to three days a week if you want, or you can spread them as thin as possible among the five days. For example, one semester I took four hour-long courses MWF and then added a 3-hour seminar on Wednesday night. This semester I'm taking three courses MWF, one on TT, and then a four-hour webcourse.

I kinda saw this coming. Anyways, I wouldn't even bother replying here, except that I'd hate to see Annie's retirement post go unnoticed.

Silent, I salute you for surviving 19 years on this earth.

Zed, I like it.

Am I the only one who's not intrigued by this whole "straightedge" storyline?

Pffft. I'm so Superior, I could write two 6000-word matches and win both titles in the same night. Or I'd just hammer Mak so badly that I could use him as a weapon against Strangler.

Don't worry, Mak. I still own you for free, plus a rebate.

Tonight, to commemorate your retirement, I'll be funnelling beer through THE PIPE! THE PIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIPE~!

Because of the story about the porn page writer. Actually, they let me into intermediate for the porn website story. It took a story about skywriting and wanton LSD abuse to get me into this one. Ooh, autobiographical.

Because of the story about the porn page writer.

Why not split the ballotting up by category? Have different people count different categories? It'd save you some work, that's for sure.

An emphatic yes. Last year's system worked beautifully, imho.

This somehow overrides the fact that I've beaten him every other time we've seen each other? Grr. TAG MATCH The Unholy Trinity (Va’aiga & Dace Night) vs. Crow & Dante Crane - Trinity SINGLES MATCH “The Superior One” Tom Flesher vs. Jay Dawg - np TOURNAMENT SINGLES MATCH “The Judge” William Hearford III vs. Nathaniel Kibagami - Gotta root for my man the Judge TOURNAMENT TAG-IN ELIMINATION MATCH “The Franchise” Mak Francis vs. “The Sacred One” Andrew Blackwell vs. Show - And Mak's got the momentum going into this one. TOURNAMENT TAG-IN ELIMINATION MATCH “The Sinner” John Duran vs. Quiz vs. Ejiro Fasaki - EJIRO~! MAIN EVENT – TOURNAMENT SEMI-FINAL TAG-IN ELIMINATION MATCH Apostle vs. “Deathwish” Danny Williams vs. “The King of Nightmares” Michael Craven - Pulling for Craven here

Yes, Danny Conklin is a fan of the Joker's henchwoman. He had an enormous pic of her in his sig forever.

Oh, yeah, I wrote you into a match once. Happy birthday!

Here in Buffalo, you can't buy beer on Sundays before noon. I'm not sure if liquor stores are closed entirely or just till 12, because everyone just drives to the duty-frees in Canada on Sundays anyway.

Yeesh. Poor Card.

UPDATED 06/15/04: Post-13th Hour Smarks Board Name: Ace309 Wrestlers Name: "The Superior One" Tom Flesher Height: 5'10" Weight: 231 pounds (now within easy sauna distance of the Cruiswerweight limit) Hometown: Buffalo, New York Age: 23 Face/Heel: Rudo, dick, bastard heel, whatever you want to call the guy who’ll step on your neck, count along with the ref and then still deny it. Ring Escort: Allison Onita Weapon(s): Not really the type to use weapons; probably nothing beyond a chair or a table, and even those only if the match requires it. Looks: Flesher is fairly stocky, a fireplug with broad shoulders, a barrel chest and an 18-inch neck. He wears his short brown hair combed forward and spiked in the front, nearly shaved on the sides with narrow reddish sideburns that go straight to the earlobe and hook down to about halfway down the jaw. Typical Irish/German - light brown hair, light blue eyes, average-to-fair skin. When wrestling, he wears black Doc Marten combat boots (a throwback to his old look, and he's become accustomed to wrestling in them) and a blue singlet with black trim at the edges and black swipes down the sides. He wears a blue warmup suit with black shoulder rings to the ring. Out of the ring, think GQ – stylish, erring toward conservative, but certainly not buttoned-up. Ring Entrance: “Kashmir” by Led Zeppelin. If you must, copypaste and edit from a recent card. Stats: Strength: 5 - He's a lightweight, but he can still hoist most guys around, being a suplex machine and all. Speed: 2 - His speed is more a result of his conditioning training than anything else, but he's fast enough to hit a high-impact finisher out of nowhere (the Ego Buster, for example). He also threw out a slingshot senton suicida against Dace Night on pay-per-view, but that really took the starch out of him. Vitality: 8 - Very good stamina, and hard to pin. Nearly never submits, and bleeds like a stuck pig given the opportunity. Charisma: 5 - He’s still great at working the crowd. Even if they don’t know it, they’re always doing exactly what he wants them to. Style: Technically skilled, with superb matwork and submission skills. Flesher tends to work slow at the beginning of a match, attempting submissions to fatigue his opponent, and slowly work up to high-impact suplexes and bigger submission holds. (He's like a New Japan junior who makes sense!) The standard strategy is to work his opponent's neck to keep him on the mat and fatigue him for either the Ego Buster or the Superior Stretch Beta. Against a much larger opponent, he'll concentrate on taking his opponent's legs out from under him and proceed to shoot for the Superior Stretch. Demonstrating his superiority by skill, rather than strictly by win-loss record, Flesher has forced himself to move more slowly in the early parts of the match. Without worrying about pleasing the fans and instead considering every match to be an athletic contest, he works for low risk and high percentages. Once he senses an opening, he’ll focus on that, relentlessly attacking it and going for submissions and falls until something works. Against a luchadore or a generic high-flyer, Flesher will take “low risk, high percentage” to whole new levels and simply try to ground the opponent with submissions and pretzel locks until such time that suplexes and bombs are appropriately low-risk. It occurs to him that the fans might not like this, but sometimes winning the match is more important than being entertaining. BREAKING KAYFABE: Do whatever the fuck you want with Flesher. If you want him to use a move that’s not in his stats, go ahead and do it. All I ask is that you use the stats as a guide and respect the no-punching thing, as the only time Flesher threw a punch was against Ejiro Fasaki when he was desperate not to give up the last fall and lose the World Title. Signature moves: Any of these can finish a match if properly built, though they're not 'finisher strength' per se. - Logical Disconnect (Exploder '98 - A sheer-drop pumphandle exploder) - Death Valley Driver - Backdrop driver (High-angle belly-to-back suplex) - Superior Stretch (Texas Cloverleaf) - Yakuza kick - Straitjacket suplex (Practically a sure pin if he can get it locked up, but without many lasting consequences. It's essentially a pinning combination, not a knockout blow.) - Fisherman's suplex - Superiority Complex (Lift the opponent into a stalling vertical suplex, then turn him chest-to-chest and sit out, slamming him onto his back with his legs pointing away. Cradle the legs for the fall.) Common moves: - Brainbuster - Railgun Suplex (Overhead belly-to-belly - usually catches someone running the ropes, but can initiate it from a standing position against someone about 240 or under) - German suplex (bridging or released) - Front headlock (aka front facelock.) -- From the front headlock, Flesher can do several things. He can use it as a choke, sprawl backward and throw knees at the opponent's head, apply a hammerlock and wait it out, or use the amateur-style cement series. For the sake of these explanations, assume the head is under Flesher's right arm. -- Cement Drop (Wrench the chin to the right side, hook the arm and drive forward, pushing the opponent onto his BUTT. Step with one foot on each side of his hips and continue driving forward into a Thesz press pin, keeping the chin wrench. The simplest way to finish, but also the hardest to hit against anyone who knows what he's doing.) -- Cement Mixer (Floatover front facelock suplex, ending with the same chin wrench-Thesz press pin as above.) -- Cement Job (From the front headlock, wrench the chin and underhook the opponent's arm with the left arm. Punch the left hand through and over the shoulder, driving the opponent to his back for the pin and keeping the chin wrench. See a movie of this here.) -- Flying Cement Job (Underhook the arm as for the Cement Job. Kick the left leg under the opponent's chest and pull him over it, using the same basic motion as a side headlock takeover. The hold finishes the same way as a Cement Job, but has the added benefit of knocking the wind out of the opponent.) -- Wet Cement (Bodyscissors front headlock – usually applied to a sitting opponent, throw on the headlock and then wrap the legs around the opponent’s middle from the front a la Jamie Noble. So named by Dace Night because getting caught in it is like getting stuck in wet cement – you just can’t get out.) - Stalling front suplex (Lifts the opponent up and then throws them face-down onto the mat; can also be done across the top rope) - Camel Clutch or Gedo clutch - Abdominal stretch, occasionally with the elbow stuck in the opponent’s ribs. - Body scissors, alone or with a full nelson, sleeper or just about any other move that fits the story of the match. - Doc Marten boot-related offense (Yakuza kick, double stomp, corner boot scrape to the face, kick to the knee, dropkick to the knee, enzuigiri) - Amateur-style techniques (http://www.themat.com/articles/showfaq.asp?fldAuto=5 has some excellent anigifs) -- … including the blast double leg, which functions as a spear -- … or the By The Numbers pin, which involves applying a hammerlock to the left arm of a face-down opponent, coming out to the front, threading your arm under the elbow of his right arm and forcing him onto his back with both arms controlled. - Elbowdrop into the knee (a la Greg Valentine) - Shotei/Palm blow (doesn't punch - only uses palms or backhands) - Bitchslap, bitchslap, bitchslap... just in case you didn't know he's better than you. Rare moves: - Burning Hammer (Torture rack into head drop. It’s almost guaranteed to end the match, but it’s hard to set up.) - Held Without Bail (Judge William Hearford’s Stretch Plum, which Tom used during his tenure in the M7 and face turn. He got accustomed to using it, and will now fall back on it when he needs to.) - The Boilermaker (Avalanche-style [off the top rope] brainbuster. Obviously limited by size. Set up with an Irish whip followed by either an avalanche or a running palm strike, then setting the opponent on the top rope and hitting a 'Venus' [leaping and spinning] palm strike.) Counter this with an Orange Crush Bomb and you win (see losses to TNT [ladder match, US Title] and Ejiro Fasaki [sWF Xmas PPV 2003, World Title]). Finishers: - Ego Buster (Sheer drop gutwrench suplex. For reference, see Fire Pro Wrestling Advance, 'Alevin's Lift'.) - Ego Trip (Calf Branding - generally set up by an Irish whip and a running shotei, Flesher sits on the top rope behind the opponent, plants a knee in the back of his neck and jumps off, driving the face into the mat. Mainly for heavyweight opponents. Did this once to Dace Night on a chair.) - Superior Stretch Beta (Back-mounted dragon sleeper) ACCOMPLISHMENTS: - Two-time SWF World Heavyweight Champion (95 days, over the Boston Strangler; lost to Ejiro Fasaki; five successful defenses [record tied again]; 89 days, over Taylor Nicholas Thompson; lost to Thoth; five successful defenses [record for most successful defenses, tied with Edwin MacPhisto]) - Former Tag Team Champion (With Frost, 101 days, over Mak Francis and Ced Ordonez for the vacant titles; lost to Justice & Rule) - Former ICTV Champion (63 days, over Perfect Bo at Genesis III; lost to Orochi) - Former Light Heavyweight Champion (68 days, over El Luchadore Magnifico; lost to Annie Eclectic) - 3-time US Champion [Record for most US Title Reigns, tied with Jay Dawg] (17 days [over Annie Eclectic and Xero for a vacant title; lost to Chris Raynor], 38 days [over Chris Raynor and Jay Dawg; lost to "TNT" Taylor Nicholas Thompson], 35 days [Over TNT; lost to Tod deKindes]) - 2001-2002 SWF Best US Champion - 2001-2002 SWF Most Promising Bumpee - 2002-2003 SWF Wrestler of the Year (Jayson Grant Memorial Trophy) - 2002-2003 SWF Heel of the Year (Ace of Clubs Trophy) - 2002-2003 SWF Best World Champion (HVille Thugg & Edwin MacPhisto Cup of Champions) - Participant, 2002-2003 SWF Feud of the Year (against Frost; blown off in Window Pain 2k3) - Leader, 2002-2003 SWF Stable of the Year (the now-defunct Magnificent Seven) SJL: Final record of 13-4 (12-3 singles) - 2-Time World Champion (10 days [over Z and "Deathwish" Danny Williams in a two-fall, two title match for the vacant World Title and Z's European Title; lost to Ash Ketchum], 7 days [over Ash Ketchum; lost to Ash Ketchum in a three-way cage match also involving Frost, Tom's last SJL match]) - European Champion (25 days [over Mike Van Siclen; lost to Z in a Fatal Four Way also involving "Deathwish" Danny Williams and Ced Ordonez]) === Manager Name: Allison Onita Age: 23 Status: Heel Height: 5' 6" Weight: 155 lbs. (less muscular than her sister, thanks to an extended period out of the ring) Weapon: Anything that comes to mind. She wrestled a hardcore style and is proficient with the Singapore cane or kendo stick, but can use just about anything. Looks: For now, Allison’s hair is a short bob reminiscent of Ann’s. She’ll wear something fashion-forward that matches Flesher’s wardrobe (which is almost invariably some shade of blue). Notes: Allison has, shall we say, flipped for Tom Flesher, much to her sister Ann’s chagrin. Flesher won her managerial services in a ladder match at Battleground, and though they haven’t come out and said so, it’s pretty obvious what’s going on in the locker room, although much of that, like her tenure in the Clan, is likely due to her inability to say no to a strong, charismatic personality like Flesher’s. She’s cocky, fired up and involved. She’ll be screaming at the referee, coaching Flesher and showing more emotion than your average corner. How much of this is just managerial fire and how much is her affinity Flesher, you can’t say exactly. Allison did an SWF stint as Lady Red, filling in for her sister during her time in the Clan. She didn’t do well in the ring, compiling a long losing streak despite success in the SJL. However, she is certainly able to hold her own for brief periods, and has practical training in judo. Stats: - Think of Allison as a less-ring-wary version of Ann Onita. She’s not as strong and can’t take as much damage, but she’s seen as a total witch for betraying her twin sister and so the crowd could absolutely kill her. Strength: 3 Speed: 5 Vitality: 5 Charisma: 7 Consider Allison able to do: - Drop Kiss (Dropkick to the mouth) - Superkick (Stepping Side Savate kick, more fast than hard, not finisher material) - Knee Strike to the Face (Usually by holding the back of the head and jumping up to make the attack) - Moonsault - Hard, hard kicks - Some minor judo throwing, depending on size and keeping in mind that judo is about leverage. She’ll be able to score ippon throws easily on Ann or Alan Clark, but not Charlie Matthews. These should be treated as finisher-strength: - Daybreak Pedigree - Crossface Chickenwing Clutch [or "Triple C"] – Crossface chickenwing in camel clutch position.

Also the case in California, as my poor, nic-fitting, alcoholic brother found out. I still don't know what was wrong with the separate smoking room legislation that preceded the total smoking ban.

No, no, see, part of the vacation is getting to use two-ply.

I give a fuck.

I refuse to believe I'm the only amateur wrestler on these boards. (Incidentally, I prefer Greco-Roman.)

I just am. Stop trying to figure it out. Clearly, JMA is Bubba Ray Dudley's internet alter-ego.