Ace309

Don't go to Ithaca or Oswego. Seriously.

I'm available all around, with preference toward the cruiserweight division and tagging with Charlie Matthews until my whim goes in another direction.

Just remember that if you drink too much you'll be physically unable to fuck a bitch.

Sorry. Since you posted it in the losing match thread, it's clearly invalid.

No, he's on hockey. This is wrestling.

Yeah. So put it away. No one wants to see it.

You know, there's a new card up.

Damn, and I was hoping this thread would be about felonies. Or maybe Felony. Ye gods she's skanky.

Main Event - Three-Way Dance For The Cruiserweight Title Grendel© vs Zyon vs "The Divine Wind" Akira Kaibatsu - I'm thinking Grendel. Sub-Main Event - International Title Match JJ Johnson© vs "Hollywood" Spike Jenkins - Rob Johnstone Singles Match "The Superior One" Tom Flesher vs Wildchild - np Hardcore Match Insane Luchadore vs Jay Hawke - I think Hawke can handle this one Singles Match Michael Stephens vs Sean Davis - Stephens

Sweeeeeeeeet.

Mazel tov!

Interesting. The family dynamic has something to it, definitely.

I'm always a fan of anything that involves Janus and Terrence interacting with one another. I also loved Myers as Toxxic, and I'm a fan of Toxxic coming back under his own identity. Man, Johnson's match was *****.

World tours are great, as long as you're a fan living in Europe, Africa or Asia. If you're a fan in the good old United States of America, you miss out on a month and a half of live action. (Come on, it's never quite the same when it's taped.) If you're working for the Federation, meanwhile, you get to go out and do your job every night while dealing with different time zones, bad water, strange food and, in the case of at least one on-air personality, having to tote your own beer with you. "I've got Labatt Blue," says Tom Flesher, his face buried in the cooler he's toted with him on this trip. "Let's see, I've still got some Alexander Keith's... I think I have some Yuengling in here somewhere..." It's hard living life in a trailer. Sure, it's homier than a dressing room, and you get to feel a little bit like a movie star, but it's just not the same as having a nice, warm hotel room with a minibar. "I have a bottle of scotch, but you don't strike me as a scotch man..." "Nah, I'll take a Yuengling," says Mak Francis, his wheelchair pulled up to the small desk in the back of the trailer. "It's a good Pennsylvania beer." Flesher hands him a bottle, and takes a 24-ounce can of Labatt Blue for himself. He cracks it open, and Mak clinks his bottle against it. "Here's to old times." Each man takes a sip. Flesher sighs. "So, we're flying out tomorrow night for India. India, dammit. Do you know how hard it is to use those squat toilets?" The trailer is small, compared to the Executive Suites that Tom Flesher got used to in his time as the SWF's World Heavyweight Champion and his various stints as top heel and top face. As Heavyweight Champion, they paid the extra cost for him. As the top challenger, or when he was drawing as Cruiserweight Champion, he'd have to pay for the upgrade out of pocket... when the desk clerk didn't recognize him and upgrade him for free. He'd still end up with a first-class upgrade whenever he flew, whether the Federation paid for it or not. Living in a trailer for the world tour and having to use a squat toilet is a step down, no matter how you look at it. Francis merely smirks at Flesher, who takes a moment to realize what he's just said. "Uh... sorry. I suppose I shouldn't complain..." "Don't worry about it, Flesher," says Francis, uncharacteristically quiet in the presence of his former tag team partner. "It's an adjustment... but...." Francis trails off, not quite sure how to finish the sentence. He knows he's looking at things a bit differently... about two feet lower, to start with. "Shit, Mak, you wrestled for years. You were a national champion, for god's sake. What happened to your neck?" "Just out of shape," Mak says, shrugging as much as he can - still barely moving his shoulders. "When I was in the ring every night and lifting every day, it stayed meaty, but you know what happens when you get lazy." Francis looks down at Flesher's stomach. "At least, you should." "Come on," Flesher grins. He takes another sip of his beer. He pauses uncomfortably for a second. "So... um... you know, the submission thing... it's a business decision and it's to keep me focused, like I told them... but..." Francis looks up. "After what happened to you, I had to do some serious thinking, and... well... the old moveset was just too damn dangerous. It was okay when Kibs was running the workouts and making sure everyone was bulked up enough to protect themselves, but now that Drew..." "Drew's old-school," Mak says with a nod. "He's keeping everyone's cardio up..." Mak nods, knowing Flesher needed to say something nice about one of his best backstage friends. Once again, two of the closest friends to come out of the Magnificent Seven find themselves unsure of what to say to each other. "Listen, Mak, I'm sorry." "Don't be." "I've been thinking." Flesher takes a deep breath. "The Million Dollar Dream was your thing for a while. There's something I've been working on in the gym, and it's coming along pretty well." Mak nods. "They call it a King Cobra hold. It's a grounded Dream with bodyscissors. I'd like to..." "Yeah." Mak and Flesher are both clearly uncomfortable... Francis is still getting used to not being able to move his legs, and Flesher has never had to make this sort of adjustment before. He's still not quite sure how to treat his friend. "Are you sure it's okay?" Mak smiles. "It'd mean a lot to me." Maybe not as much as being able to walk again. Mak never thought he'd see the day where he was jealous of being able to stand up to piss. He knows, though, what Tom is trying to do. It's not all about Mak. That's a big part of it, sure, but it's as much about Tom trying to feel comfortable with the fact that his friend can't move from the waist down. Mak's never going to have sex again, and it's a little bit insulting, like Flesher dedicating an orgasm to him. Still, he knows that Flesher needs to deal with the paralysis as much as he does. Flesher, though, is oblivious to this. As far as he knows, he's just paying tribute to his friend, and his friend is flattered. Tom smiles a small smile. Once again, he holds up his Big Blue. Francis clanks his bottle against it. "Here's to old times." It's hard living life in a trailer. It's harder watching your friend living life in a chair.

Last edited November 13, 2006 Smarks Board Name: Ace309 Wrestlers Name: "The Superior One" Tom Flesher Height: 5'10" Weight: 229.9 pounds for cruiserweight matches, 231 when he doesn't have to make weight Hometown: Buffalo, New York Age: 24 Face/Heel: Rudo, dick, bastard heel, whatever you want to call the guy who’ll step on your neck, count along with the ref and then still deny it. Ring Escort: James Matheson, an old-school Cornette type. In fact, just picture Cornette carrying an aluminium briefcase (Halliburton, making him even MORE evil) instead of a tennis racquet. Weapon(s): James Matheson's briefcase is a wonderland of interesting things, many of which are small enough to be hidden in Flesher's singlet, wrist tape or kickpads. (You didn't really think they were for the opponent's protection, did you?) Looks: Flesher is fairly stocky, a fireplug with broad shoulders, a barrel chest and an 18-inch neck. He wears his short brown hair combed forward and spiked in the front, nearly shaved on the sides with a reddish beard kept closely trimmed. Typical Irish/German - light brown hair, light blue eyes, average-to-fair skin. When wrestling, he wears black ASICS wrestling shoes with attached black-on-blue kickpads and a royal blue singlet with black trim at the edges and metallic silver side panels. Like all good heels, he'll also use black wrist tape. He wears a blue warmup suit with black shoulder rings to the ring. Out of the ring, think GQ – stylish, erring toward conservative, but certainly not buttoned-up. Black wingtips are standard outside the ring. On special occasions, Flesher will substitute gold side panels for the silver, and a gold warmup suit. Ring Entrance: James Matheson will make an introduction, the blue pyro goes off coincident with the opening to Led Zeppelin's "Kashmir," and Flesher struts to the ring. He'll acknowledge the crowd from the ring with a kind of quiet confidence before stripping his warmup off and stretching out. Stats: Strength: 4 - He's a lightweight, but he can still hoist most guys around, being a suplex machine and all. He's given up some of his functional strength in an effort to improve his ability to take punishment - he doesn't need to lift anyone overhead and spike him on his neck anymore, but when he limits the ways he's willing to win, he'll need to be able to take more of a beating. Speed: 2 - His speed is more a result of his conditioning training than anything else, but he's fast enough to tie someone up in a pretzel hold out of nowhere. He won't be doing slingshot suicida stuff any time soon, though. Vitality: 9 - Very good stamina, and hard to pin. Nearly never submits, and bleeds like a stuck pig given the opportunity. Flesher is able to wrestle on instinct and without higher brain function (particularly after being dumped on his head). Is he tough to beat? Absolutely. He carried the fed on his back for a year. He earned the right to be. Charisma: 5 - The man uses the thumb to the eye as a signature move, for god's sake. Everybody hates him. Style: After watching Mak Francis lose the use of his legs following a Burning Hammer from Spike Jenkins, Flesher took some time off from the ring. He returned with a new focus - rather than rely on his head-dropping strong style, he should focus on the backbone of his wrestling style and work submissions. Not only does it protect other wrestlers from having to go through the injury that Francis suffered, but it allows him to protect himself, too. Let's face it, submission wrestling is easier on the body than lifting and dropping people. He's eased up, however, and he's more likely now to go to a head drop out of convenience rather than as a desperation move. Signature moves: - Yakuza kick - Derailleur (Canadian backbreaker with kneedrop) - Double chicken wing (standing and elevated for the submission, or grounded and worked into an amateur-style pin) - Any suplex you've ever seen someone do, but especially the Straitjacket, the Fisherman's and the head-and-arm - Figure-four leglock - Shotei/Palm blow (doesn't punch - only uses palms or backhands, whether striking or just slapping the taste out of an opponent's mouth for no apparent reason) - Variants on submissions he already does, or wacky submissions made up on the spot, that may be either painful or merely irritating - Dropkick to the crotch - Thumb to the eye Common moves: - Railgun Suplex (Overhead belly-to-belly - usually catches someone running the ropes, but can initiate it from a standing position against someone about 240 or under) - German suplex (bridging or released) - Greco-Roman backdrop (belly-to-back suplex) - Shoulderbreaker - Front headlock (aka front facelock.) -- From the front headlock, Flesher can do several things. He can use it as a choke, sprawl backward and throw knees at the opponent's head, apply a hammerlock and wait it out, or use the amateur-style cement series. For the sake of these explanations, assume the head is under Flesher's right arm. -- Cement Drop (Wrench the chin to the right side, hook the arm and drive forward, pushing the opponent onto his BUTT. Step with one foot on each side of his hips and continue driving forward into a Thesz press pin, keeping the chin wrench. The simplest way to finish, but also the hardest to hit against anyone who knows what he's doing.) -- Cement Mixer (Floatover front facelock suplex, ending with the same chin wrench-Thesz press pin as above.) -- Cement Job (From the front headlock, wrench the chin and underhook the opponent's arm with the left arm. Punch the left hand through and over the shoulder, driving the opponent to his back for the pin and keeping the chin wrench. -- Flying Cement Job (Underhook the arm as for the Cement Job. Kick the left leg under the opponent's chest and pull him over it, using the same basic motion as a side headlock takeover. The hold finishes the same way as a Cement Job, but has the added benefit of knocking the wind out of the opponent.) -- Wet Cement (Bodyscissors front headlock – usually applied to a sitting opponent, throw on the headlock and then wrap the legs around the opponent’s middle from the front a la Jamie Noble. So named by Dace Night because getting caught in it is like getting stuck in wet cement – you just can’t get out.) - Stalling front suplex (Lifts the opponent up and then throws them face-down onto the mat; can also be done across the top rope) - Camel Clutch or Gedo clutch - Abdominal stretch, occasionally with the elbow stuck in the opponent’s ribs. - Body scissors, alone or with a full nelson, sleeper or just about any other move that fits the story of the match. - Doc Marten boot-related offense (Yakuza kick, double stomp, corner boot scrape to the face, kick to the knee, dropkick to the knee, enzuigiri) - Amateur-style techniques -- … including the blast double leg, which functions as a spear -- … or the By The Numbers pin, which involves applying a hammerlock to the left arm of a face-down opponent, coming out to the front, threading your arm under the elbow of his right arm and forcing him onto his back with both arms controlled. Rare moves: - Burning Hammer (Torture rack into head drop. This is the move that broke Mak Francis' neck, so it's a bit like a police officer's gun: he isn't going to use it unless it's absolutely necessary, and he's going to feel incredibly conflicted about it afterward.) - The Boilermaker (Avalanche-style [off the top rope] brainbuster. Obviously limited by size. Set up with an Irish whip followed by either an avalanche or a running palm strike, then setting the opponent on the top rope and hitting a 'Venus' [leaping and spinning] palm strike.) Counter this with an Orange Crush Bomb and you win (see losses to TNT [ladder match, US Title] and Ejiro Fasaki [sWF Xmas PPV 2003, World Title]). - Logical Disconnect (Exploder '98 - A sheer-drop pumphandle exploder) - Backdrop driver (High-angle belly-to-back suplex) - Ego Buster (Sheer drop gutwrench suplex. For reference, see Fire Pro Wrestling Advance, 'Alevin's Lift'.) - Superior Stretch Beta (back-mounted dragon sleeper - still in Flesher's repertoire, but since Jenkins is using it, and since it's hard to apply, it's not at the top of his list.) Finishers: - King Cobra hold (grounded cobra clutch/million dollar dream with bodyscissors, used in tribute to Mak Francis - often set up with a judo-style arm throw to put the opponent in front of Flesher on his BUTT) - Superior Stretch (Texas Cloverleaf) - Held Without Bail (Judge William Hearford’s Stretch Plum, which Tom used during his tenure in the M7 and face turn. He got accustomed to using it, and will now fall back on it when he needs to.) ACCOMPLISHMENTS: - Two-time SWF World Heavyweight Champion (95 days, over the Boston Strangler; lost to Ejiro Fasaki; five successful defenses [record tied again]; 89 days, over Taylor Nicholas Thompson; lost to Thoth; five successful defenses [record for most successful defenses, tied with Edwin MacPhisto]) - Former Cruiserweight Champion (49 days, over Spike Jenkins; stripped after walking out on a match with Ryan Dustin) - Former Tag Team Champion (With Frost, 101 days, over Mak Francis and Ced Ordonez for the vacant titles; lost to Justice & Rule) - Former ICTV Champion (63 days, over Perfect Bo at Genesis III; lost to Orochi) - Former Light Heavyweight Champion (68 days, over El Luchadore Magnifico; lost to Annie Eclectic) - 3-time US Champion [Record for most US Title Reigns, tied with Jay Dawg] (17 days [over Annie Eclectic and Xero for a vacant title; lost to Chris Raynor], 38 days [over Chris Raynor and Jay Dawg; lost to "TNT" Taylor Nicholas Thompson], 35 days [Over TNT; lost to Tod deKindes]) - 2001-2002 SWF Best US Champion - 2001-2002 SWF Most Promising Bumpee - 2002-2003 SWF Wrestler of the Year (Jayson Grant Memorial Trophy) - 2002-2003 SWF Heel of the Year (Ace of Clubs Trophy) - 2002-2003 SWF Best World Champion (HVille Thugg & Edwin MacPhisto Cup of Champions) - Participant, 2002-2003 SWF Feud of the Year (against Frost; blown off in Window Pain 2k3) - Leader, 2002-2003 SWF Stable of the Year (the now-defunct Magnificent Seven) - Ranked #1 superstar of calendar 2002 by the SWF Historian - Elected to the SWF Hall of Fame Class of 2004 - 6-6 record as Ghost Machine 2.0 in early 2006 SJL: Final record of 13-4 (12-3 singles) - 2-Time World Champion (10 days [over Z and "Deathwish" Danny Williams in a two-fall, two title match for the vacant World Title and Z's European Title; lost to Ash Ketchum], 7 days [over Ash Ketchum; lost to Ash Ketchum in a three-way cage match also involving Frost, Tom's last SJL match]) - European Champion (25 days [over Mike Van Siclen; lost to Z in a Fatal Four Way also involving "Deathwish" Danny Williams and Ced Ordonez])

I'm not sure why it was, but it's not anymore.

I'm a big fan of doing a tequila-lime marinade for flank steak or chicken and then grilling it up. Basically, all you need to do is go about 3 parts tequila to one part Rose's sweetened lime juice, add spices to taste (cumin and cayenne are the base flavors), and then let everything sit for a while. Makes killer fajitas, too.

I don't know who you're kidding, bucko, but this is already posted on the show. This thread is closed for your insolence. Anyone who wants to comment can just go over and post on the show like a normal comment. Yeesh. Kids these days. sorry Landon

And I'm not sure I want to be retired. Now get off my lawn and let me finish my damn crossword puzzle.

The road agents will create makeshift corridors by standing on ladders and holding sheets over walking superstars.

We've actually discussed this a couple of times. The consensus of the writers tends to be that writing straight wrestling matches all the time gets boring for them. Frankly, I agree with you on this one, but not on the same grounds - I think you can tell a better story if you save the gimmicks for special occasions, and I just like writing straight wrestling a little more. That said, at some point when you're floundering in the lowercard due to a total lack of writing ability, you take what you're given. I'm honored. Really. Did I use Candace as a device to run my character's gimmick and write a match that wasn't my best effort? Yes. Yes I did. You earn a bit of creative license and newb-hazing privileges after a certain amount of blinding success in the fed, and you also develop an expectation that people won't take themselves so damn seriously. But beyond that I offered you honest criticism that wasn't sugar-coated but also wasn't cruel, which I was hoping would make your matches and promos less eye-clawingly bad. I see that I've failed. I don't do that much, so I'm quite disappointed. What he said.

MAIN EVENT WORLD TITLE MATCH LAST MAN STANDING Wes Davenport© vs Jay Hawke - Davenport to retain. Hawke's good, but Davenport's got a legend behind him. ... no, I don't mean me, you fruit. HARDCORE TITLE MATCH BARB WIRE CAGE Bruce Blank© vs Insane Luchador - Blank to retain. TAG TEAM TITLE MATCH TAG TEAM BOUT The Asian Underground© vs JJ Johnson & Manson - Tough call. I think between JohnSon can carry it. SINGLES MATCH Christian Fury vs Amy Stephens - Stephens SINGLES MATCH David Cross vs Matt "The Cosplayer" Myers - Cross~!

[Amateur Linguist Hat ON] It is. The "sn'" is elided, belying a speech pattern that correlates with unaspirated "H"s ("'ey there"), dropped participle "G"s ("walkin'"), and similarly lazy speech patterns (slack diction, for example, "f" or "v" for "th" ["Am I bovvered?" "I got dat fing" etc]). [Amateur Linguist Hat OFF]

I did four years of hard time at the University at Buffalo, and I've currently been commuted to the minimum-security Benjamin N. Cardozo School of Law in New York City.

Lowbrow?! Why, I oughta....