Ace309

Annie Eclectic:Ann Onita::The Rock:Rocky Maivia. Ann Onita is basically the writer turned up several notches, and Annie Eclectic is Ann Onita on amphetamines.

Updated!

You know, I think Charlie Matthews would really be a great straight-up play-by-play man.

Um? Guys? I think you're forgetting the joy that would be Ash Ketchum.

Michael Craven as Ash Ketchum.

I'm roughly the same height as the old Tom Flesher character - that is, 5'11"ish, depending on how badly my back hurts that day.

Standard fall procedures. Pin him, make him submit, etc.

EVERYONE: Please post your stats here and on the SWF website, accessible here. If there are any problems accessing the website, please contact Johnny Dangerous. As an example and excuse to glory-bask, I'll repost my active-wrestler stats here, as well as a pair of stat-sets of... general usefulness. === UPDATED 6/20/05: For the new Stats thread Smarks Board Name: Ace309 Wrestlers Name: "The Superior One" Tom Flesher Height: 5'10" Weight: 231 pounds (now within easy sauna distance of the Cruiswerweight limit) Hometown: Buffalo, New York Age: 23 Face/Heel: Rudo, dick, bastard heel, whatever you want to call the guy who’ll step on your neck, count along with the ref and then still deny it. Ring Escort: Allison Onita Weapon(s): Not really the type to use weapons; probably nothing beyond a chair or a table, and even those only if the match requires it. Looks: Flesher is fairly stocky, a fireplug with broad shoulders, a barrel chest and an 18-inch neck. He wears his short brown hair combed forward and spiked in the front, nearly shaved on the sides with narrow reddish sideburns that go straight to the earlobe and hook down to about halfway down the jaw. Typical Irish/German - light brown hair, light blue eyes, average-to-fair skin. When wrestling, he wears black Doc Marten combat boots (a throwback to his old look, and he's become accustomed to wrestling in them) and a blue singlet with black trim at the edges and black swipes down the sides. He wears a blue warmup suit with black shoulder rings to the ring. Out of the ring, think GQ – stylish, erring toward conservative, but certainly not buttoned-up. Ring Entrance: “Kashmir” by Led Zeppelin. If you must, copypaste and edit from a recent card. Stats: Strength: 5 - He's a lightweight, but he can still hoist most guys around, being a suplex machine and all. Speed: 2 - His speed is more a result of his conditioning training than anything else, but he's fast enough to hit a high-impact finisher out of nowhere (the Ego Buster, for example). He also threw out a slingshot senton suicida against Dace Night on pay-per-view, but that really took the starch out of him. Vitality: 8 - Very good stamina, and hard to pin. Nearly never submits, and bleeds like a stuck pig given the opportunity. Charisma: 5 - He’s still great at working the crowd. Even if they don’t know it, they’re always doing exactly what he wants them to. Style: Technically skilled, with superb matwork and submission skills. Flesher tends to work slow at the beginning of a match, attempting submissions to fatigue his opponent, and slowly work up to high-impact suplexes and bigger submission holds. (He's like a New Japan junior who makes sense!) The standard strategy is to work his opponent's neck to keep him on the mat and fatigue him for either the Ego Buster or the Superior Stretch Beta. Against a much larger opponent, he'll concentrate on taking his opponent's legs out from under him and proceed to shoot for the Superior Stretch. Demonstrating his superiority by skill, rather than strictly by win-loss record, Flesher has forced himself to move more slowly in the early parts of the match. Without worrying about pleasing the fans and instead considering every match to be an athletic contest, he works for low risk and high percentages. Once he senses an opening, he’ll focus on that, relentlessly attacking it and going for submissions and falls until something works. Against a luchadore or a generic high-flyer, Flesher will take “low risk, high percentage” to whole new levels and simply try to ground the opponent with submissions and pretzel locks until such time that suplexes and bombs are appropriately low-risk. It occurs to him that the fans might not like this, but sometimes winning the match is more important than being entertaining. BREAKING KAYFABE: Do whatever the fuck you want with Flesher. If you want him to use a move that’s not in his stats, go ahead and do it. All I ask is that you use the stats as a guide and respect the no-punching thing, as the only time Flesher threw a punch was against Ejiro Fasaki when he was desperate not to give up the last fall and lose the World Title. Signature moves: Any of these can finish a match if properly built, though they're not 'finisher strength' per se. - Logical Disconnect (Exploder '98 - A sheer-drop pumphandle exploder) - Death Valley Driver - Backdrop driver (High-angle belly-to-back suplex) - Superior Stretch (Texas Cloverleaf) - Yakuza kick - Straitjacket suplex (Practically a sure pin if he can get it locked up, but without many lasting consequences. It's essentially a pinning combination, not a knockout blow.) - Fisherman's suplex - Superiority Complex (Lift the opponent into a stalling vertical suplex, then turn him chest-to-chest and sit out, slamming him onto his back with his legs pointing away. Cradle the legs for the fall.) Common moves: - Brainbuster - Railgun Suplex (Overhead belly-to-belly - usually catches someone running the ropes, but can initiate it from a standing position against someone about 240 or under) - German suplex (bridging or released) - Front headlock (aka front facelock.) -- From the front headlock, Flesher can do several things. He can use it as a choke, sprawl backward and throw knees at the opponent's head, apply a hammerlock and wait it out, or use the amateur-style cement series. For the sake of these explanations, assume the head is under Flesher's right arm. -- Cement Drop (Wrench the chin to the right side, hook the arm and drive forward, pushing the opponent onto his BUTT. Step with one foot on each side of his hips and continue driving forward into a Thesz press pin, keeping the chin wrench. The simplest way to finish, but also the hardest to hit against anyone who knows what he's doing.) -- Cement Mixer (Floatover front facelock suplex, ending with the same chin wrench-Thesz press pin as above.) -- Cement Job (From the front headlock, wrench the chin and underhook the opponent's arm with the left arm. Punch the left hand through and over the shoulder, driving the opponent to his back for the pin and keeping the chin wrench. See a movie of this here.) -- Flying Cement Job (Underhook the arm as for the Cement Job. Kick the left leg under the opponent's chest and pull him over it, using the same basic motion as a side headlock takeover. The hold finishes the same way as a Cement Job, but has the added benefit of knocking the wind out of the opponent.) -- Wet Cement (Bodyscissors front headlock – usually applied to a sitting opponent, throw on the headlock and then wrap the legs around the opponent’s middle from the front a la Jamie Noble. So named by Dace Night because getting caught in it is like getting stuck in wet cement – you just can’t get out.) - Stalling front suplex (Lifts the opponent up and then throws them face-down onto the mat; can also be done across the top rope) - Camel Clutch or Gedo clutch - Abdominal stretch, occasionally with the elbow stuck in the opponent’s ribs. - Body scissors, alone or with a full nelson, sleeper or just about any other move that fits the story of the match. - Doc Marten boot-related offense (Yakuza kick, double stomp, corner boot scrape to the face, kick to the knee, dropkick to the knee, enzuigiri) - Amateur-style techniques (http://www.themat.com/articles/showfaq.asp?fldAuto=5 has some excellent anigifs) -- … including the blast double leg, which functions as a spear -- … or the By The Numbers pin, which involves applying a hammerlock to the left arm of a face-down opponent, coming out to the front, threading your arm under the elbow of his right arm and forcing him onto his back with both arms controlled. - Elbowdrop into the knee (a la Greg Valentine) - Shotei/Palm blow (doesn't punch - only uses palms or backhands) - Bitchslap, bitchslap, bitchslap... just in case you didn't know he's better than you. Rare moves: - Burning Hammer (Torture rack into head drop. It’s almost guaranteed to end the match, but it’s hard to set up.) - Held Without Bail (Judge William Hearford’s Stretch Plum, which Tom used during his tenure in the M7 and face turn. He got accustomed to using it, and will now fall back on it when he needs to.) - The Boilermaker (Avalanche-style [off the top rope] brainbuster. Obviously limited by size. Set up with an Irish whip followed by either an avalanche or a running palm strike, then setting the opponent on the top rope and hitting a 'Venus' [leaping and spinning] palm strike.) Counter this with an Orange Crush Bomb and you win (see losses to TNT [ladder match, US Title] and Ejiro Fasaki [sWF Xmas PPV 2003, World Title]). Finishers: - Ego Buster (Sheer drop gutwrench suplex. For reference, see Fire Pro Wrestling Advance, 'Alevin's Lift'.) - Ego Trip (Calf Branding - generally set up by an Irish whip and a running shotei, Flesher sits on the top rope behind the opponent, plants a knee in the back of his neck and jumps off, driving the face into the mat. Mainly for heavyweight opponents. Did this once to Dace Night on a chair.) - Superior Stretch Beta (Back-mounted dragon sleeper) ACCOMPLISHMENTS: - Two-time SWF World Heavyweight Champion (95 days, over the Boston Strangler; lost to Ejiro Fasaki; five successful defenses [record tied again]; 89 days, over Taylor Nicholas Thompson; lost to Thoth; five successful defenses [record for most successful defenses, tied with Edwin MacPhisto]) - Former Tag Team Champion (With Frost, 101 days, over Mak Francis and Ced Ordonez for the vacant titles; lost to Justice & Rule) - Former ICTV Champion (63 days, over Perfect Bo at Genesis III; lost to Orochi) - Former Light Heavyweight Champion (68 days, over El Luchadore Magnifico; lost to Annie Eclectic) - 3-time US Champion [Record for most US Title Reigns, tied with Jay Dawg] (17 days [over Annie Eclectic and Xero for a vacant title; lost to Chris Raynor], 38 days [over Chris Raynor and Jay Dawg; lost to "TNT" Taylor Nicholas Thompson], 35 days [Over TNT; lost to Tod deKindes]) - 2001-2002 SWF Best US Champion - 2001-2002 SWF Most Promising Bumpee - 2002-2003 SWF Wrestler of the Year (Jayson Grant Memorial Trophy) - 2002-2003 SWF Heel of the Year (Ace of Clubs Trophy) - 2002-2003 SWF Best World Champion (HVille Thugg & Edwin MacPhisto Cup of Champions) - Participant, 2002-2003 SWF Feud of the Year (against Frost; blown off in Window Pain 2k3) - Leader, 2002-2003 SWF Stable of the Year (the now-defunct Magnificent Seven) SJL: Final record of 13-4 (12-3 singles) - 2-Time World Champion (10 days [over Z and "Deathwish" Danny Williams in a two-fall, two title match for the vacant World Title and Z's European Title; lost to Ash Ketchum], 7 days [over Ash Ketchum; lost to Ash Ketchum in a three-way cage match also involving Frost, Tom's last SJL match]) - European Champion (25 days [over Mike Van Siclen; lost to Z in a Fatal Four Way also involving "Deathwish" Danny Williams and Ced Ordonez]) === Manager Name: Allison Onita Age: 23 Status: Heel Height: 5' 6" Weight: 155 lbs. (less muscular than her sister, thanks to an extended period out of the ring) Weapon: Anything that comes to mind. She wrestled a hardcore style and is proficient with the Singapore cane or kendo stick, but can use just about anything. Looks: For now, Allison’s hair is a short bob reminiscent of Ann’s. She’ll wear something fashion-forward that matches Flesher’s wardrobe (which is almost invariably some shade of blue). Notes: Allison has, shall we say, flipped for Tom Flesher, much to her sister Ann’s chagrin. Flesher won her managerial services in a ladder match at Battleground, and though they haven’t come out and said so, it’s pretty obvious what’s going on in the locker room, although much of that, like her tenure in the Clan, is likely due to her inability to say no to a strong, charismatic personality like Flesher’s. She’s cocky, fired up and involved. She’ll be screaming at the referee, coaching Flesher and showing more emotion than your average corner. How much of this is just managerial fire and how much is her affinity Flesher, you can’t say exactly. Allison did an SWF stint as Lady Red, filling in for her sister during her time in the Clan. She didn’t do well in the ring, compiling a long losing streak despite success in the SJL. However, she is certainly able to hold her own for brief periods, and has practical training in judo. Stats: - Think of Allison as a less-ring-wary version of Ann Onita. She’s not as strong and can’t take as much damage, but she’s seen as a total witch for betraying her twin sister and so the crowd could absolutely kill her. Strength: 3 Speed: 5 Vitality: 5 Charisma: 7 Consider Allison able to do: - Drop Kiss (Dropkick to the mouth) - Superkick (Stepping Side Savate kick, more fast than hard, not finisher material) - Knee Strike to the Face (Usually by holding the back of the head and jumping up to make the attack) - Moonsault - Hard, hard kicks - Some minor judo throwing, depending on size and keeping in mind that judo is about leverage. She’ll be able to score ippon throws easily on Ann or Alan Clark, but not Charlie Matthews. These should be treated as finisher-strength: - Daybreak Pedigree - Crossface Chickenwing Clutch [or "Triple C"] – Crossface chickenwing in camel clutch position. === Wrestlers Name: Martin "Big Country" Hunt Height: 6 foot 2 inches Weight: 220 lbs Hometown: Boone, NC Age: 22 Face/Heel: Heel--> can be a face though Stable: N/A Ring Escort: None.. as of yet Weapon(s): Carries a wooden baseball bat often.. sometimes carries a bottle of Southern Comfort Quote: "WHO-HA" "The South Shall Rise Again" "I have drank liquor stronger than you" "I am the Box King" Looks: Martin Hunt is your typical college student. He is tall and fairly built-- reasonably sized and has somewhat of muscle definition. He has very long arms that provide him with an extensive reach on most opponents and has the looks of a farm boy. He is often sporting collared polo shirts with khakis and boots or a pair of faded overalls. He has short curly hair and a touch of craziness is seen within his brown eyes. Martin is also very cocky, southern-acting, and is of course a fraternity brother-- which only furthers his cockiness and attitude. His ring attire consists of worn fraternity shirts sporting the letters of Pi Kappa Phi and a pair of blue jeans and boots. Ring Entrance: "A Country Boy Can Survive" plays by Hank Williams Jr as Martin "Big Country" Hunt struts out to the ring proudly wearing his fraternity's letters, blue jeans, and boots that look fresh for kicking ass. He smirks at the crowd and mocks various fans in attendance before entering the ring. Stats: ¯¯¯¯¯ Strength: 6 Speed: 4 Vitality: 6 Charisma: 4 Style: Power-Techinal Based Signature moves: DDT power slam Baseball bat shots spitting liquor in eyes of opponent choking opponents with beer bongs "100 Proof" Knee to forehead like HHH's "Donkey Punch" Big splash off topes like Val Venis' Money Shot suspended suplex Common moves: Neck breakers power press slam Choke Hold Multiple Punches in the corner scissor kick clothesline power slam body to body suplex headlock with multiple punches drop kick body-stretch submission like move leg locks arm bars.. Rare moves: "Pi Kapp Attack" Flying Moonsault off top ropes Finishers: 1) (Submission Based) "Black-Out"-- Vicious sleeper-hold that is normally held way to long and refs have to push Martin off of his opponent 2) (Power Based) "Sweet Southern Comfort" -- Reverse DDT similar to Raven's Evenflow Notes: Martin "Big Country" Hunt will do anything to win a fight, from a cheap shot, to outside interference to even spitting liquor in his opponent's eye he just doesn't care. He seems to only show his pain and hurt in extreme cases and has a mild case of "Mankind"'s masochist characteristics. He is extremely dedicated, hard-working and cocky. His attitude often offends others and he is normally found "hard to control". Martin comes across as the average fraternity guy that is showing you how cocky he is and how cocky he will be on his quest for the gold. Bio: Martin "Big Country" Hunt has been around in a few e-feds back in his early teenage years (17-19 years old). He wrestled extremely hardcore and was often arrested for violent conduct and public drunkeness. He left the wrestling scene where he was struggling to make a living and pursued a college career in the mountains. Even though he held numerous world titles, american titles, u.s. titles, hardcore titles, intercontinental titles, and even a tag team title-- Martin seemed to only be content with making money and winning more gold. His greed led to his departure of "EHW" (Extreme Hardcore Wrestling) after he got inducted into their hall of fame and he ventured into Appalachian State University to try out his business side of academics. While in college, Martin grew extremely cocky and joined Pi Kappa Phi Fraternity where he lead as a feared president and helped develop a name for himself among the campus. In his senior year, Martin began missing wrestling so he ventured into the SWF. === Wrestler's Name: Ced Ordonez Nickname: "Bemani Cross Wizard" Height: 5'9" Weight: 209 lbs. Hometown: Sacramento, CA Age: 22 Alignment: Face (In both referee and wrestler incarnations) Stable: N/A Weapon(s): Whatever becomes available, but only if it's match legal. Quote: N/A Looks: Decent muscular build, tanned skin and spiky black hair with brunette highlights. Ring Attire: Kicking it old school. Blue MMA tights with white lightning design on the right side, blue kneepads, white boots and white tape around the wrists. Entrance/Backstage Attire: Just add a t-shirt for backstage skits and there you go. The standard SWF issued referee's uniform for refereeing matches naturally. Entrance Theme: "Night of Fire" - Niko (High energy Eurobeat theme) Ring Entrance: "Night of Fire!" The lights go out as the beat of the Niko composed theme begins to excite the crowd. Then.... "FIRE!" *BOOM!* Pillars of flames briefly light up the entrance before disappearing and revealing Ced Ordonez standing on the stage. He fires up the crowd as best as he can before jogging towards the ring. He slides in and promptly makes his way to the far turnbuckle, giving the crowd an obligatory face pose. He hops down and gets in some quick leg stretches before the bell. Stats: Strength: 4 Speed: 6 Vitality: 6 Charisma: 4 Game plan: Incorporates alot of legwork in the early going to set up the aerial game and possible submission in the latter stages of the match. Signature moves: - Dragon Screw Legwhip - Regal Roll: Forward Roll from a Fireman's Carry. - Powerdrive Elbow: Ced bounces off the ropes once then drops a hard elbow. He usually gets overzealous and winds up landing on his opponent with his entire torso, making the blow even more uncomfortable for his opponent. - Double Stomp: With the opponent lying on the mat, Ced jumps up and drills both feet into his opponent's stomach. - REF BUMP~! - Ced picks a random high flying move and does it onto somebody from the apron to the floor. He's done it while refereeing a match, so it's always something to be wary of. Common moves: - Roundhouse Kick - Senton Splash - Drop Toehold - Cross Kneelock - Second Rope Elbowdrop - Flying Leg Scissors - Top Rope Missile Dropkick - Running High Kick - Kneebreaker - Jumping Double Knee Drop - Cross Bodyblock - Huracanrana - Jumping Back Elbow - Enzuigiri - Dropkick to the Knee Finishers: - Fire Soul: Top Rope Corkscrew Swanton Bomb. Primary finisher. With the opponent lying on the mat. Ced perches himself on to the top turnbuckle, facing the crowd, then pushes off while twisting. He rotates in midair and hits his opponent with a swanton. - Cross Lightning: Nagata Lock/Reverse Figure-Four Leglock. Submission finisher. - Dynamite Rave: Fallaway Moonsault. Cruiserweight finisher. With his opponent crotched on the top turnbuckle, Ced hops onto the second rope and hoists his opponent into a fallaway slam position. He steps up to the top rope and then he does a moonsault while still holding onto his opponent. The opponent slams onto the mat hard as Ced simultaneously lands on top of the opponent, allowing Ced to get the easy pinfall.

Hm. I stand corrected. I could have sworn I remembered the emphasis being on the knee-drop to demonstrate it being unprotected.

TomIofIV

The Demonstar is a double-underhook knee-drop piledriver. (That is, you hold the opponent upside down in butterfly-suplex position, then drop to your knees.) It's the SWF's ultimate death move because it's been built that way.

You know, Akira, somehow I knew you belonged here.

I have a BA in Political Science (American Politics & Public Affairs concentration) and Philosophy. It was a double major that I finished accidentally when the scheduling during my last semester happened to work out so that I could upgrade my PoliSci minor to a full major with a minimum of fuss. I'm currently pursuing a Juris Doctor (law degree). Depending on scheduling, I'm hoping for a Litigation concentration. At some point, if the funding's there and depending on where I am, I'd like to either go back to my undergrad school for an LLM (Master of Laws) in criminal practice or go to one of the various places where I can get a Master of Public Administration. I can't help it. I'm a public affairs geek.

Merry Kingmas! In honor of this special holiday, I've gotten you all blackjacks embossed with the SWF logo and your initials.

I marked.

Marines. Besides the fact that my brother is a Marine, if I'm going to be in the military, I want to be trained as intensely as I possibly can.

A beau, no doubt.

Azerbaijan! Man, all they export is Olympic-level wrestling.

Matt "Mark Kinxx" Myers. He loves peanuts!

It's QUICK COMMENTS ... of DOOM! El Promador Magnifico I love Mags as a rudo. I just thought I'd reiterate that. I'm also thrilled at the prospect of a rematch, especially since it's going to be a submission match. I love the way the characters - two of the most subtle, silent guys we've had - interact. It's very rich, for how they do it. Card The bra and panties match was excellent. Michael Cross vs. Jason von Dierch Not a bad match. Flashes of brilliance in the commentary, although the characters weren't quite right on... but that'll come as you get more experienced writing them. The wrestling per se wasn't bad, I was also pleased to see that there was an angle involved after the match. Very promising. Bruce Blank Promo-style Nice little WWE-style promo here. Reiterates Bruce's direction, and makes fun of Andrew Rickmen. Can't bitch too much about that. Jimmy the Doom has a social conscience No he doesn't. Amy Stephens gets signed Well, this is going to be fun. Candace "the Joshi Dragon" Okimura vs. Matt "the Scarlet Pimpernel" Myers From a character standpoint, this was a bit depressing. The Scarlet Pimpernel bit wasn't used at all, and... well... he's not really a "rookie" so much as someone who's been around for a while and just doesn't get his props. (This is like the time Danny wrote Justice & Rule as "promising newcomers.") With that out of the way, though, the wrestling was actually pretty good. If we look at this the way Frisco probably was when he was writing - that is, a match against a generic rookie - then the plot and wrestling weren't bad at all. I didn't quite dig the enzuigiri immediately into a kip-up and an electric chair drop, but I'm admittedly a little anal about selling. No big deal. Christian Fury drinks a brandy alexander I've always been a fan of the first-person style. I also like where I think I smell this going, which is toward Ryan Dustin territory. Good stuff. Ghost Machine's warranty is voided No, really, they're roller skates. Is it wrong that Chris Belcourt is my new favorite character? Luke... I am your FATHER... I like the "birth certificate made public" thing, which may or may not be an intentional reference to the Boogeyman's troubles with Tough Enough but which I'm willing to read as one. it's going to be interesting to see how this plays out, since there's always the possibility it'll end in bad taste. Hard to say, but it should be cool, and Pete's always had a pretty good sense for angles (assuming he'll be involved in writing it). Crimson Skull vs. Insane Luchador Why did Skull no-sell Riley's presence? Because, y'know, that's not Cool. *spits apple* I do, however, mark for the Starwipe. Crimson Skull gets irritated. His face turns... uh... anyone know a descriptive adjectival term for 'red?' I mark for Heff's job being in danger. I really do.

1) Who are you, and what have you done this year? My name is Tom Flesher. I'm Chief Justice of Creative Control, and I hold original jurisdiction over storyline questions and appellate jurisdiction over bad ideas according to Article III of the SWF Constitution. I swear in new CC members and markers. I am also empowered to promulgate rules and to form agencies to look into Zed's taste in music (for example, the Warrant Commission). 2) What do you think of CC and their work at this time? This is one of the strongest CCs we've had in a while, mainly because we have a diverse group of interests as well as CC members who are both capable and respected. The fact that Zed and Raynor were around for some of the worst booking the fed has seen, and that they and Justice are all still very in touch with what it means to be a writer, are very important. I've seen nonresponsive CCs, and they can kill a writer's interest. 3) What do you think this fed's strongest suit is? We've got a bunch of people who are masochistic enough to enjoy this nonsense. 4) What do you think this fed's weakest suit is? I think it's twofold: 1) It can be difficult to get people who are primarily from RP feds interested in the matchwriting style, which speaks to the larger problem of recruitment; 2) I agree that the technical-writing style that's predominated recently can be stifling for someone who isn't a hardcore wrestling fan as much as a hardcore WWE fan. I remember having discussions with Taft about how he was playing Stump The Opponent by making Thor intentionally difficult to write, for example, but we tend to accept a certain amount of Stump The Opponent with regard to difficult writing styles, and since many of the markers have had that baptism by fire of being taught ROH-style psychology forcibly, it can be difficult for someone who isn't up on it to break through to the top. There's also a certain amount of decisionmaking that goes on when you make a character - for example, I've been talking to Superstar, and he's trying to decide whether to come back as Charlie Matthews and contend, or as the Masked Man and write midcard comedy angles. I also know of at least one former world champion who's intentionally avoiding going to the top of the card just to challenge himself as a writer, since he's a technico and wants to break himself of that formula. 5) Do you have any suggestions for changes in how things are run? More free beer. 6) Overall, do you like the direction the fed is headed in? The state of the union is strong. We're facing the same problems we always have regarding recruitment, and frankly, the development of a stone-faced psychology requirement to be a top-card writer was largely unavoidable. It's our analog to the intricate storylines and deeply-layered characters you see written by seasoned RP fed guys. We're just a little more autistic about it. (Four o'clock. Gotta write wrestling. Gotta write wrestling. Gotta go to K-Mart and buy a new keyboard. Wore out the keyboard.)

- The Crimson Skull is working without a contract. The administration brought him in to gauge his popularity, but his future is currently up in the air due to his distaste for the heavy travel schedule. The Ghost Machine/Crimson Skull segment pulled one of the highest opening ratings in months, however, mostly due to the good-sport attitude of road agent John Trudel. - The SWF front office is bracing for the backlash for one of the biggest, most intricate works in the history of sports entertainment. Without revealing too much, it appears that the recent untimely departure of an SWF athlete, which was covered by the major, legitimate newsmedia in addition to the dirtsheets, may have been completely worked. The SWF's relationship with the legitimate media will likely suffer, but this angle may lead to greater solidarity among SWF fans. - The administration is reportedly considering using Wes Davenport while they have him under contract. One of the top projects that's been floated is a remake of the classic drama To Kill A Mockingbird, with Davenport in the Gregory Peck role of Atticus Finch. The role of Boo Radley would likely, in that case, go to Arch Griffin. - Charlie Matthews has been hired as a trainer for the next season of Smark Enough. This is thought to be a reaction to the oft-criticized 'SWF Style' consisting mostly of chain-wrestling, intricate psychology and an occasional sprinkling of ultraviolence. Matthews is expected to diversify the wrestling style of new recruits with a more entertaining game plan of bearhugs, headlocks and the erstwhile powerbomb. - After the Masked Crusader gimmick fell flat, the administration was reluctant to bring in another masked wrestler so quickly. However, after William Hearford made a phone call, the Masked Crusader was let go with plans to bring in Ghost Machine 2.0. The gimmick is slowly coming back to what the Masked Crusader was intended to be - someone whose identity is obvious despite his insistences to the contrary. It is not known whether a swerve in the style of Ghost/Alan Clark is in the works, or whether the 'payoff' will be that Ghost Machine is exactly who he appears to be. - Candace Okimurra has been busily jockeying for more camera time. Depending on how the crowd reacts to her at the Clusterfuck, she may be rewarded with additional mat time. In any case, the front office is dissatisfied with both the bookers and Okimurra - there is currently a vicious circle involving Okimurra's inability to make it to shows on time and the bookers' refusal to rely on her for big segments. Only time will tell how this resolves itself. - Chris Belcourt is reportedly frustrated with his on-screen role as Ghost Machine 2.0's handler. Confidential sources tell us that his frustration stems from the fact that he has, quote, "a fucking college degree" and could do better than this.

Mustard, pickles and sauerkraut.

Assuming you're not in Indianapolis, this is probably wrong. The paradigm case on this sort of thing is Riss v. New York, which has been adopted in most states. If, hypothetically, the police did decide to grant protection, there might be a claim, but the case law on that basically just serves to encourage police departments not to agree to perform a specific function like that.

Thanks, Slayer.