Ace309

No, I'm comfortable with that. I was going for a sort of awkward, uncomfortable vibe, especially considering the lack of a character-based authority figure (yeah, we have Joe Peters, but he's a deus ex machina businessman). Flesher, in-character, is a strong backer of Pretzler and was also very close to IL (there were a lot of bar promos involving the two of them), so I thought it would be an interesting thing to write. I think I succeeded in making it uncomfrotable, although I think I enjoyed creating that feeling more than the readers will enjoy getting it. As for not bringing Pretzler out, it was reasoned out from the "I don't want to make a spectacle out of this" idea. I debated using Pretzler, but I didn't think that, if WWE were faced with the same situation, they'd use it as a character promo segment. We were dealt a really shitty hand by IL deciding to 'die,' but I felt like we could deal with it without retconning the angle. Anyway, thanks for your comments. I appreciate it.

'Banned' is convenient shorthand for 'disabled from posting, but still able to read.' EDIT: To clarify, we tried this out on Superstar last night.

The Smartmarks Wrestling Federation presents... SWF SMARKDOWN, JUNE 27TH, 2005, LIVE FROM BUCHAREST NATIONAL STADIUM IN BUCHAREST, ROMANIA! (8:00 PM EST; 5:00 PM PST. Check local listings.) Bucharest National Stadium seats 60,120 people. It is, like many of the other stadia we’ve visited, a track; seats will be placed on the infield, as always. All matches due to their markers by 8 PM Eastern, 7 PM Central, etc. All materials (marked matches, promos, post-puberty [ie, useless] Romanian gymnasts) due to Chuck Woolery by: 10:00 Eastern 9:00 Central 8:00 Mountain 7:00 Pacific MAIN EVENT – THREE-TIME WORLD CHAMPIONS COLLIDE! Toxxic vs. Danny Williams ~ This match is definitely going to be one for the history books, as Toxxic said when he put the idea in Tom Flesher’s head. Toxxic, still looking oddly naked without the SWF World Championship, is reminding everyone how capable and marketable he is; Danny Williams, meanwhile, doesn’t need an excuse to rumble through the main event and crack his opponent’s orbital bones. Really, though, how will fellow 3-time World Champion El Luchadore Magnifico react to this? Rules: Standard. Word Limit: 6000 Send to: Chuck Woolery SUB-MAIN EVENT - TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH Martial Law © vs. Wild and Dangerous ~ It’s only fair – Wild and Dangerous’ team defeated Martial Law’s on Lockdown. Really, it would be silly to make them do anything else to prove they deserve a rematch for the titles they lost to Martial Law. Rules: Standard. Use the tag ropes. Word Limit: 6000 Send to: chirs3 HOLY FLURKING SCHNIT! DID I BOOK THIS? REDUX. Ejiro Fasaki © vs. El Luchadore Magnifico ~ Ordinarily, the SWF World Heavyweight Champion would be main-eventing solo, but… really, Flesher still isn’t convinced that he’s earned it. Ground Zero challenger Johnny Dangerous is above him on this card, for god’s sake… is that a message? In any case, Ejiro bumps down a weight division to take on one of the most dominating World Heavyweight Champions in SWF History, on the Luchadore’s terms. It’s non-title – there’s nothing on the line but pride. Rules: Standard, with cruiserweight addenda – there is a 20-count on the outside, rather than 10, and throwing an opponent over the top rope is a disqualifiable offense. Word Limit: 5000 Send to: janusd ABSOLUTELY NOT HARDCORE CHALLENGE Arch Griffon vs. Zyon © ~ Smarkdown Commissioner Tom Flesher has made no secret of the fact that he harbors a strong personal distaste for the hardcore style of wrestling, and rookie sensation Zyon has made his name (and an impressive winning streak) doing it. Zyon, however, has yet to step into the ring against Arch Griffon, who has a strong amateur wrestling background. Can Zyon maintain his streak one on one? Rules: Standard. Word Limit: 4500 Send to: The Superstar SHOW HIM HOW IT’S DONE - NON-TITLE MATCH “The Dean of Professional Wrestling” Jay Hawke © vs. Randy Myers ~ In the old days, promotions had guys on staff who were called ‘hookers.’ Strong shooters with large arsenals of submission holds, hookers were used to introduce rookies to the business, and occasionally knock the chip off their shoulders. Randy Myers, meet International Champion Jay Hawke. Rules: Standard. Word Limit: 3500 Send to: Ace309 HOSS, MEET STIFF. STIFF, HOSS. Manson vs. Ghost Machine ~ Is he a human or a robot? Is he an angry cowboy or just a stiff son-of-a-bitch? Either way, the fans should pop for this one… and it shouldn’t require much time, as they’ll kill each other before you blink. Rules: Standard. Word Limit: 3500 Send to: Justice LET’S TRY THIS AGAIN Jumpin’ Jack Flash vs. Martin "Big Country" Hunt ~ Flash seems to have had a visa problem and couldn’t make it to Greece. Yes, that’ll do. Let’s give him another chance to wow the crowd as the bottle of Cherry Coke clashes with the bottle of Southern Comfort. Hopefully, neither one shatters. Rules: Standard. Word Limit: 3000 Send to: Chuck Woolery Opening Promo: Smarkdown Commissioner Tom Flesher Plus – A slew of your favorite SWF superstars on this mini-supercard! Pretzler gets the night off because, well, damn. Kid’s been busy.

Don't mind Toxxic. He's a bit invested in his character.

I would like to remidn people that, considering we're a subforum, we can ban people from posting in the SWF forums without banning them from the boards. That is, we can shut you up and still allow you to write actively. That is, no one is safe because of card position.

... shit, are we supposed to know this? Or is it his Witness Protection birthday, with the real one classified? Either way, happy birthday!

A. Learn to take a joke, you putz. B. Grow up, you putz. C. Quit baiting people, you putz. D. Continue acting like an adult.

Because I hate you. Seriously, I had things I needed to do, and while I could have wedged in a tag match or two, or extended the markers, I didn't want to have the sort of card that go4es on forever. Well, moreso.

... BIZARRO MATCHES!

I've got a pair of tannish sneakers with maroon stripes, which sound (and are) hideous but I get compliments on them for reasons that I can't fathom. I also wear brown Doc oxfords and black Doc wingtips.

Not to nitpick, but criminally, he'd have to prove beyond a reasonable doubt, and civilly it would just have to weigh more heavily in his favor (preponderance of the evidence). Keep in mind as well that the CSI Effect is at play here - in real life, the evidence doesn't need to be perfectly placed, incontrovertible, etc. Hypothetically, JBL's quote from the article, Meanie's testimony and two or three guys in the brawl and backstage testifying that JBL hadn't "come down" from his character would probably be enough to prove recklessness (knowledge of a risk of committing a crime and conscious disregard of that risk), which is sufficient intent for MPC (criminal) assault.

The tantrums, the petty in-fighting and the general bitchiness have pissed me off. If you don't want me to book, you can just tell me you don't want me to book and if the public opinion goes against me then I'll happily retire and let someone else deal with the bullshit. I don't want to, since I generally enjoy the fed, but the shit has been knee-deep lately and it's making me question whether facilitating your angles is worth my time. The simplest solution I've come up with is to leave the people who piss and moan and not much else off my cards, but then I run the risk of hurting innocent people who happen to be working with the problem children, and of the problem children bitching regardless. That is, I'm not sure it solves anything. So, seriously, just tell me what to do to get the pissing, moaning, whining and general jack-assery to stop, or tell me to hang it up and quit booking. I would, since it's vaguely on-topic, like to take this opportunity to say that putting up a fuss about on-boards bitching does sometimes work. Wildchild responded to such a request on my part and has been a pleasure to work with since. It doesn't seem to be working for many of the rest of you.

Spike, you're not fucking funny right now.

I would just like to fucking remind everyone that my fucking booking is not only fucking solid and generally received as fucking brilliant, but also, for the most part, fucking unin-fucking-formed. If you have a fucking angle you want me to support, you have got to fucking tell me the fuck about it. Otherwise, I will apply fucking logic to my fucking booking and you will see things like the fucking Tag Team Champions defending against the fucking team they fucking lost to on the previous fucking show. Why? Because it fucking makes fucking sense. Further, if you have a fucking problem with my fucking booking, send me a fucking PM instead of throwing a fucking tantrum and pulling the fucking "Okay, I'm no-showing" maneuver, which is quite fucking reminiscent of taking your fucking ball and going the fuck home. If you're this fucking unhappy with the fucking booking, consider informing Creative fucking Control as to your fucking desires and we will try damn fucking hard to fulfill them. As I recall, Martial Law fucking requested Wild and Dangerous several fucking times when Wild and Dangerous held the titles, and you may understand why it is now fucking confusing and fucking frustrating that you don't want to fucking write against them. I fucking swear, some of you are so fucking unhappy about the fucking booking that I wish you'd fucking retire so I wouldn't have to fucking hear it anymore, except that so many of the fucking retirees hang out to fucking fight with the fucking writers. I hope my fucking frustration is fucking clear. Regards, TMF

Bizzump.

Back on topic, I've been liking Zyon's work. This is a nice, solid piece that takes a tack I can see anyone writing on, but few people actually do. I'm pleased to see it, since it seems especially appropriate for the Zyon character. Solid work.

Criminally, yes, he'd need a prosecutor to approve the charges. Civilly, no, of course not. His lawyer would handle the plaintiff's case. Meanie's injury was fairly grotesque. Having seen pictures of Meanie after he was tended to and not the actual video, I'd say that I feel confident there was actual intent to injure. Proving it, on the other hand... And, of course, it's possible that a minor injury yielded really, really good pictures. Personally, I don't think he has anything to gain by suing. By the letters, the case is there, just as it was (although much more clearly) with the Marty McSorley incident, but there's just no real upside for it. The civil damages if any would be low, and a criminal prosecution just isn't going to happen. Meanie would end up with a moral victory at best, and even that would be far from unanimous - you'd end up with even more in the "He's just a pussy" crowd.

The question of whether he "should" pursue it or not aside, Meanie's probably got a relatively strong black-letter criminal case. I don't know what the laws are like in New York, but the Model Penal Code definition of assault involves purposeful, knowing or reckless causation of bodily injury to another. Bradshaw acted purposefully - he did what he did with full awareness that Meanie wasn't expecting to be stiffed, and he did it to injure him. I'm assuming that, while grotesque, there was no danger of death or serious bodily injury (ie, that JBL didn't commit reckless endangerment). Of course, this might fall under the MPC's exception of "a fight or scuffle entered into by mutual consent," which would mitigate it to a petty misdemeanor. The major obstacles to this sort of prosecution would be political - the prosecutor, especially a Manhattan prosecutor, is unlikely to waste his time on a misdemeanor case that would be unpopular (one wrestler assaulting another would just cause a lot of the constituency to roll their eyes). Along the same vein, go ahead - convince a bunch of jurors that a wrestler didn't expect to be assaulted. Jurors who aren't wrestling fans, much less members of the so-called IWC, aren't going to buy it - they'll nullify faster than you can say "wasted taxpayer dollars." You're also going to have trouble proving intent. Even if the jurors are open to the possibility that this is assault, I'm not sure whether a video of the incident would show that JBL was throwing harder punches or what have you. As for a civil case, sure, assuming you can convince a jury that Meanie was assaulted, he's due some compensation, but his pro-wrestling history is likely to bring that amount down considerably (because, again, non-wrestling-fan jurors). Hell, he might get the $1 "nominal" award if JBL's lawyer argues that the scars from the staples make him look "tougher." It's a ridiculously risky lawsuit. EDIT: Uh... and, as I always feel the need to say when I make a legally-related post, I'm not a lawyer. I'm not licensed anywhere, and particularly not in the jurisdiction in question. Anyone reading this who wants legal advice really ought to consult an attorney licensed in their jurisdiction.

I'm not sure, really. I keep wanting to say that Jericho's "Break The Walls Down" has the right kind of vibe. I'd consider the Goldberg theme, but that's a bit loaded - while it's got the nice, mechanical sound that goes well with the mat-wrestling piece-by-piece-disassembly style, it's still the Goldberg theme.

Yeah, well, so does Chris Masters.

"Sorry about the running-you-over prank." "Prank?"

Just for the record, I had a great time reading Hawke's match. It was quite accessible, although it seems like he knows what he's doing when it comes to this amateur wrestling stuff.

Not me. I'm buoyant.

Eh, they're just aggressively defending their trademarks. Unnecessary, but hardly unexpected.

“Ladies and gentlemen,” says Joseph Peters, as the camera fades in on his office, “this week the SWF mourns the loss of the ‘Insane Luchador,’ Andrew Rickmen. After spending four years as an SWF employee, Mr. Rickmen tragically passed away this week. We ask all SWF fans to remember him, and in lieu of flowers, to contribute to their local Irish-Catholic church.” “Unfortunately,” Peters says, “Mr. Rickmen was reigning as SWF World Cruiserweight Champion at the time of his passing. At this time, the booking committee is discussing the best way to handle these tragic and unexpected circumstances; a decision will be made by the beginning of Smarkdown.” “Thank you, and good night.” The picture fades, leaving a black screen. In the center, a photo of Rickmen in mid-air, executing a plancha, appears. Above it are the words “ANDREW RICKMEN;” below it, “1978-2005; R.I.P.” A few seconds later, the picture once again fades to black. === SWF Lockdown, June 22, 2005. © Riot Act Productions. All rights reserved. The Smartmarks Wrestling Federation: “Raising workrate by typing faster.”