Ace309

I'm not at all surprised that Angle dips. A lot of amateur wrestlers do just because of the American focus on conditioning combined with the whole nicotine thing. If you're not a smoker who quit for the sake of his wind, there's a good chance you've got teammates who'll try to get you to dip.

Ced, you're not retired. Why, just last week you hit a plancha on a bunch of tag team wrestlers to "gain control of the match."

No. Thoth just overlooked it when he was booking.

Chris, it's been a pleasure having you around. I've always thought of you as a Greek chorus of sorts - you seemed to step in at times and just shout reasonable things at the rest of us, which was usually what we needed. I wish you luck in your future, hope you can find a kid to mow your lawn and shovel your walk so you feel like you're renting again, and generally am glad to have dealt with you.

you can PM it to me. I'll edit it in.

Hey! HEY!

... I know the words being used in this thread, but things like "Stamboli is the Great Muta" and "Jamal wins a tournament" just won't connect in my brain.

People, people. The rule is that it's okay if I say it's okay. Please remember to consult me about these things in the future.

I'm not marking on this show, so I feel comfortable predicting. COLD FRONT CLASSIC FINALS 2 OUT OF 3 FALLS MATCH #1 Landon "La Cucaracha" Maddix (SWF Intercontinental-Television Champion) v. #3 Sacred - FYI, they got their assignments when the last card was booked, so they had two shows to write for this. Logical booking says Landon, easily the best face in the fed today, but I want to see Sacred further dilute the meaning of a three-reign record. TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH Revolution Zero (Toxxic and Sean Davis, SWF Tag Team Champions) v. Hollywood Boulevard (Ghost and "Urban Legend" Todd Cortez) - Rev-0 HARDCORE MATCH Danny Dagda (accompanied by the Rockettes) v. Carnage - Dagda, if he writes. HOLY HELL MATCH "The Icon" Max King v. Manson v. "Hollywood" Spike Jenkins - King. This doesn't play to Spike's strengths.

Sadly, the bribe money just isn't going to stretch as far.

Is he selling the shirt?

I'm gonna play the spoiler and go with bitter lemon soda.

As some of you may have noticed, the intervals between Slay Ride, Clusterfuck and From the Fire are unusually short. This was intentional, and creates a situation that it's important for all of you to recognize. After accounting for the break, the interval between Slay Ride and From the Fire is slightly longer than the standard between-PPV interval, with Clusterfuck thrown in the middle. With this in mind, I think it would be absolutely lovely if all of you who have plans that were ready to commence at Clusterfuck carefully and meaningfully considered slowing the burn a shade and blowing them off at From the Fire instead. This is not a command by any means, but keep in mind that we're loathe to schedule non-CF matches at Clusterfuck anyway, and we're unusually short on bodies this year. The standard for Clusterfuck in past years has been World Title, Clusterfuck match and one meaningful match on the undercard. I'd appreciate it if everyone would put an extra amount of thought toward being available for the Clusterfuck and competing for the From the Fire World Title shot. Thank you and goodnight.

He's working on a majority vote, Landon.

I would like to remind people that Tom Flesher is now living in New York City and will be in the front row. Probably with law books and laptop computer.

The Smartmarks Wrestling Federation presents... SWF SMARKDOWN, MONDAY, DECEMBER 6, LIVE FROM THE MEADOWLANDS! (5:00pm PDT, 8:00pm EDT; check local listings) Send marked matches, promos, etc. to Chuck Woolery The SWF rocks the Meadowlands as the Christmas Pay-Per-View draws nearer! Will the name be revealed? Probably not, but high-placed sources are betting on Chanukkah Chavoc! Landon Maddix and Sacred have the night off, giving them time to rest up for their big 2-out-of-three-falls tournament final next week! In their stead, the World Tag Team Champions will defend in a talent-packed match, the irresistible force meets the immovable object, and more! MAIN EVENT - TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH Team ANGER (Christian Fury and David Cross) © vs. Hollywood Boulevard (Todd Cortez and Ghost) vs. Revolution Zero (Sean Davis and Toxxic) -> The Tag Team Champions face off against the ever-dangerous Hollywood Boulevard. Toxxic gets the chance to become one of the few men ever to hold the two top titles in the Federation at the same time. Can Team ANGER hold on? Rules: Standard. First elimination wins, unless a wrestler is counted out or disqualified in which case his team is eliminated and the other two will continue. Word Limit: 6500 Marker: Chuck Woolery BATTLE OF THE BEHEMOTHS Carnage vs. "The Icon" Max King -> King comes off a tough loss to Sacred, while Carnage is still smarting from a loss to Toxxic. Both men show potential, though... the Russian amateur savant descended slowly into madness takes on the Superior Talent in a match sure to please everyone but Frisco and Kelly! Rules: Standard. Word Limit: 5500 Marker: 5_moves_of_doom OBLIGATORY HARDCORE MATCH FEATURING DANNY DAGDA Danny Dagda vs. Manson -> Manson, once again on the verge of breaking out, gets a chance to impress the bookers... but will Scott Hall's evil twin spoil it? He's testing through the roof with the teenagers. Rules: None. Word Limit: 4500 Marker: Dace59 CRUISERWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH "Hollywood" Spike Jenkins © vs. Kaine -> Let's fire the crowd up by opening with Kaine cashing in his Cruiserweight Title shot! Rules: 20-count on the outside, and a throw over the top rope is disqualifiable. Otherwise, standard. Word Limit: 4500 Marker: Ace309 Opening Promo: Toxxic

Most likely over the break, after my last final. If people really want them up sooner, they can dig up and post specific-post links to all the nominated matches. Otherwise, it's just going to have to wait.

Haha! Bet YOU feel stupid, Mike! What a jerk.

Va'aiga. Crow. Zed. ::skulks away subversively::

I'm interested in honest answers here as well, if only in numbers. To my knowledge we can't see who voted how, and even if we could I'm not at all interested in knowing who thinks there's a significant bias if they don't want to put it in the air. I am, however, very open to people who want to share their criticisms and worries, so please feel free to post here without fear of retribution.

Yeah, it was a brilliant move in which I "catered" to everyone's "strengths" by assigning "Dace" as your "marker."

I'll step in and say two men, tag anyone. And while I'm here, I'll also amend the rules so that pinning your partner doesn't win you the match, it just eliminates your team and subjects you to being pantsed in the ring by Ebony.

I ended up marking this after Judge had a minor emergency. There really wasn't anything particularly wrong with this match. It did seem to lack a feeling of urgency and importance that Sacred's match had, however... and to that end, I think you just ran up against a guy who's got more experience and knows how to use it. I realize it's a frustrating thing to be told, but... honestly, the match just seemed very bland when compared to Sacred's. The action was Perfectly Acceptable Wrestling, but it may have moved a little too quickly... Sacred's match handled it very well, as far as developing and describing things to give some weight to their importance. If you have any more questions, please feel free to ask.

"Oh what a night it has been tonight on Lockdown!" bellows Cyclone Comet as we return from a commercial interlude. "Of course, I am contractually obliged to say that...but nonetheless, what a night Robert!" "You suck at hype old man. And, I'm not contractually obliged to say that...I say it because it needs to be said! The people KNOW what the show has been like. They have watched it after all. And I'm sure they can draw better conclusions about the quality of this show than someone on the payroll could. Now hush." "Robert, may I ask who urinated in your Cheerios this morning?" "Nobody. Although, you never know with SWF catering." "All self-parody aside, it is now time for our main event. And like our last match was, this shall be a Secret Santa match. Of course, this Secret Santa doesn't involve some eight year old girls buying each other Christmas presents in secret...oh no. This shall be slightly less bitchy, but a LOT more brutal! Of course, this is the second Cold Front Classic semi-final but also, the ICTV Championship will be on the line. More on that later, but now...Funyon, take it away..." "Ladies and gentlemen..." Funyon begins, drawing the crowd's attention with a momentary pause. "...the following contest is your second semi final in the Cold Front Classic tournament. It is also for the SWF Intercontinental Television Championship!" "YEEAAAHHH!" "And this match's Secret Santa stipulation is..." Funyon pauses to look at the card in his hand, as a few fans screaming out some match names they'd obviously like to see, including one fan who screams out 'Stash The Ash' and gets a hearty laugh from those around him. "...a... ...LADDER MATCH!" "YEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!" "Wow!" gasps Comet. "Who does that favour!?!" The crashing guitars of Lamb of God’s “Black Label” suddenly break the excited murmuring of the crowd and boos begin to rain down, while the intro picks up pace... “AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH” "BOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" The high-pitched scream heralds the arrival of the challenger, the SWF Cruiserweight Champion himself, Spike Jenkins. With his face covered by the hood of his entrance garb, Spike stops on the centre of the stage and drops to a knee. Out behind him follows Jet, as Spike's arms lock into the straight edge "X"...and boos hit him from the beer drinking Detroitions (!?!) "Introducing first, the challenger tonight and the number FIVE seed. Accompanied to the ring by Jet. He hails from Hollywood California, weighs two hundred and twenty five pounds...and he is the reigning SWF Crusierweight Champion! Representing Revolution Zero... "HOLLYWOOD"... SPIIIIIKEEE JENKIIINNNSSS!!!" Spike rolls into and across the ring, reaching the centre and re-assuming his knelt position for a moment. Jet watches on from the outside meanwhile, as Spike stands up and pulls down his hood before again flashing the "X" to the crowd. All around, boos shower the Cruiser Champ. But he could care less...busy thinking over the ladder match he is about to compete in. "Spike is of course the ICTV Title's number one contender..." "...and has been for the past 7 months." "Robert..." "...give or take a few weeks." Spike passes his title to Jet and starts to go through a few stretches, while the crowd's attention has drifted away from Spike and to his soon to arrive opponent. "PREPARE...FOR...LANDON!" ...WAAAAAHHHHH... *DUM DUM* "YEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!" Landon Maddix bursts through the curtains to an enormous pop from the crowd...as the last 'fan favourite' in the tournament, he's obviously the man everyone is routing for. Megan Skye, the SWF Women's Champion (hey, remember that belt?), follows out behind and pats Maddix on the back. Removing his belt, Maddix can be seen remarking "Ladder Match...what the fudge?" as he and Megan stroll down the aisle. "And his opponent. Accompanied to the ring by the SWF Women's Champion Megan Skye! From Huron, South Dakota and weighing two hundred eighteen pounds...the number ONE seed and the current, reigning and defending SWF Intercontinental Television Champion! LANDON "LA CUCARACHA"... MAAAAADDIIIIXXX!!!" Maddix reaches the ring, pointing Megan around the ring before jumping to the apron. More cheers greet him, as he stops to react to them...Spike watches on unimpressed, as Maddix leaps over the top and into the ring. Referee Hardcastle is waiting and takes the ICTV Championship belt from Maddix, ready to attach it to the wire hanging from the ceiling. "MAD - DIX! MAD - DIX! MAD - DIX!" Already the pro-Maddix chants go up as Hardcastle attaches the belt and gives the signal to send up the wire. A little while later, once both men are happy with the height and everyone is happy... *DING DING DING* ...we are underway! "Uhm...aren't we missing something?" mutters Riley. "Like...a ladder maybe?" "I assume getting the ladder will be left to the contestants' own devices." Both Spike and Landon remain stationary in the centre of the ring, with both glancing up at the belt that hovers over them. Neither man looks all that pleased at their Secret Santa...but then again, who ever is pleased with them? "MAD - DIX! MAD - DIX! MAD - DIX!" The crowd start up the chants again as Spike looks down from the belt to Landon, making a belt motion with his hands around his waist before pointing up at the gold. Maddix laughs it off. But Spike doesn't take kindly to that... *SMACK!* "OOOOHHHHHH!" ...and slaps the taste out of Maddix's mouth! With the champion reeling and clutching his jaw, Spike starts to put the badmouth on to further compound his misery, before moving in...and tasting a forearm to the jaw. And another. A third, fourth, fifth. Spike is already on spaghetti legs from the sudden offence as Maddix turns and rushes the ropes. Coming back, Maddix swings with a clothesline, which is ducked by Spike. Maddix runs on and hits the opposite ropes as Spike awaits him, looking for a clothesline of his own. Ducking that, Maddix locks on a waistlock but quickly takes a couple of back elbows to break it. Spike is free, running to the ropes himself. Drop down by Maddix and Spike hurdles him, stopping abruptly to the side of Maddix and dropping an elbow... ...which misses. Cursing, Spike holds his arm as he pulls himself up, Maddix waiting with a couple more stiff forearm strikes across the jaw that drop Spike to one knee. With a momentary pause, Maddix looks back up at the belt. At which point Jenkins dives forward at Maddix with a soccer tackle, hacking his standing leg away and causing him to fall awkwardly to the canvas. Straight on landing, Maddix clutches at his knee...as meanwhile, it's now Spike who looks to the belt. "Fast paced opening from these two Cruiserweight wrestlers. As if you'd expect any different." chuckles Comet. "Yeah, but that soccer tackle landed high on Maddix and may have screwed up his knee, again. You know that Fury did a good job on that leg in the last round." "Very true." With his opponent still down and still tending to his knee with a grimace on his face, Spike decides that there's no time like the present and quickly rolls out of the ring. Jet is quickly over to offer assitance and together the twosome throw up the ring apron to search for a ladder, presumably. Megan looks nervous across the other side of the ring, as eventually Spike and Jet do find a ladder. Together they heave the ladder up onto the apron and slide it into the ring. Just as Maddix is getting up and lining up Spike. Bad leg and all, Maddix waits until Spike begins to slide into the ring before running over as best possible and dropkicking him back out to the floor. Maddix then turns, picking up the ladder and sliding it to the centre of the ring. On the outside, Spike is quickly back up and Maddix spots him, forgetting about the ladder and instead diving over the top rope... "ARRRRGGH~!" ...but missing a plancha and, in the process, landing awkwardly on his knee again. Spike stops for a moment, looking at Maddix before back at the title...and the choice is obvious. Diving into the ring, Jenkins wastes little time in pulling up the ladder and setting it up in the centre of the ring under the title belt. Spike then begins to climb, as Maddix is dragging himself back in. "Here goes Spike." says Riley, nervous optimism in his voice. Maddix is back in and limping over, so Spike jumps from the ladder to meet him and clotheslines Maddix down. Rolling away, Maddix slowly begins to pull himself up using the ropes, but Spike sees him before he can get back to a vertical base, and hits a stiff forearm to the ribs of the champion. With Landon doubled over, Spike drapes him throat first across the top rope, and starts to choke him with rare intensity. Despite there being no disqualifications, Spike releases after a few seconds, as Landon's head stays hanging across the top rope. Quickly grabbing the top rope, Spike jerks it towards him, causing it to send Landon crashing backwards into the center of the ring... ...and back-of-the-head first into the side of the ladder. "OOOOOOOHHH!" Maddix's head cracks off the steel and he collapses forward, while the ladder topples the other way and hits the ropes, bouncing back. But Spike grabs the ladder before it falls back onto Maddix, quickly folding it back up and turning it so it lays propped up on the ropes. Thrusting himself forward, Maddix desperately grabs Spike's ankle and looks for a takedown. Spike kicks his foot free quickly though, before slamming the flat of his boot across Maddix's head. "Look at this...we're minutes into the match and already, Maddix is desperate." sneers Riley. "Well, with one leg, you do tend to become desperate in that ring." The ladder remains propped as Spike now allows Maddix up. Crouched on one knee, Landon stops and looks to be adjusting his kneepad...an act which Spike has no time for as he drags Maddix up to his feet. But Maddix suddenly pushes Spike off, causing him to bounce to the side off the ladder and into the ropes. Taking this as a signal, Spike continues his momentum and hits the opposite ropes. Maddix is turning to meet him as Spike thrusts out a boot... ...but Maddix ducks a Yakuza Kick, with Spike only just stopping himself from running on into the ladder. As he regains his bearings, Jenkins turns around and charges again. But this time, Maddix is waiting and catches Spike coming in... *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOO!" ...with a knifedge chop. "God I hate those." groans Riley. Down to one knee drops Spike with a hand clutched to his chest, while Landon grabs a handful of hair. Spike grabs Landon around the waist though, lifting him up for a back suplex...only to suddenly stop with Maddix lifted halfway, hooking his foot up to his ass before dropping him down with a shinbreaker. With his leg in bad shape again, Maddix limps off without getting very far before Spike grabs a hold of the shorts and pulls him back. On the way back, Maddix swings out with a back elbow. But Spike ducks, kicking out Maddix's legs from underneath him and quickly hooking them under his armpits. With a quick turn, Spike's back is now turned on the ladder as he falls back, slingshotting Maddix towards the ladder... *CRACK!* "OOOOOHHHHHHH!!!" "Oh my!" gasps Comet. "Maddix into the ladder and what a sickening landing that was." The rope bounce back the ladder and in turn Maddix, who having hit the ladder hard with pretty much all of the front of his body slumps off the ladder and to the mat. Spike quickly drops an elbow on him for good measure before grabbing the ladder. "MAD - DIX! MAD - DIX! MAD - DIX!" Sensing the champion is in trouble, the fans start to chant once more. Ignoring the crowd, Spike lifts the ladder over Maddix's fallen body and drops it into the centre of the ring. He then sets about pulling Maddix from the canvas which doesn't prove to be much of a problem. Landon is too hurt to attack at the moment, allowing Spike to hook him under the arm and into exploder position. As he's hooked, Maddix locks hands and fires off a back elbow, just as Spike lifts him up... *CRACK!* "OOOOOHHHHHHH!!!" ...and DROPS him straight south onto the ladder!!! "And that's a Highlighter on the ladder!" Comet exclaims. "Spike Jenkins wasting little time in utilising this ladder to it's fullest, most effective capabilities!" "This is looking good for Spike." Back arched from the pain, Landon rolls off of the ladder with a little 'prompting' from Spike and looks in real discomfort already with a bum knee and now bad back. Spike meanwhile takes the opportunity to haul up the ladder, glancing up at the belt. But then, he decides that Landon isn't quite hurt enough to allow a free climb to the belt, so instead takes the ladder and props it in one corner of the ring. In the opposite corner, Maddix is using the ropes and buckles to pull himself back to his feet. Seeing an opportunity, Spike motions to the crowd and gets some boos in the process as he suddenly breaks into a run and handsprings towards Maddix. The ICTV Champ sees the move coming but can't get out of the way in time, as Spike's feet meet him in the face with the Tidal Wave! Still the crowd are booing as Spike turns and mugs for the crowd, as if to say 'You're booing someone who can do THAT!?!', before shrugging and whipping Maddix across the ring. *CRACK!* Landon hits the ladder back-first and in his weakened state slumps back into the ladder. Across the ring meanwhile, Spike backs into the corner with the smug grin still plastered on his face. Still boos fill the air as Spike charges forward once more, handsprings...and double-kicks the ladder as Maddix dives out of the way! "YEEEEEEAAAAAHHHHHH!" "And now Citizen Jenkins' climbing may be impaired!" "He'll be fine. That straight edge conditioning strengthens, tightens and stiffens every muscle in your body." "Every muscle?" "...so I'm told, yes." Spike falls from the air and to the mat hard but pulls himself quickly up regardless, stumbling slightly and noticeably limping. Maddix meets him with a forearm, before pushing Spike backwards so he slumps against the ladder. The Cruiserweight Champion quickly pulls himself away but gets nailed with another forearm, causing him to fall back against the ladder again. Taking no chances, Maddix lands a series more forearms that drive the back of Jenkins' head against the ladder, groggying him. Maddix walks across the ring, lining up Spike. The challenger is still dazed, allowing Maddix to run in as best his leg will allow, leaping at Spike and slamming him with a diving forearm, crushing his head between bone and metal! "C'MON SPIKE!" yells Maddix, beckoning him on as he stumbles away from the ladder in a daze. As he does so, Spike tries to swing out with a right hand, but Maddix ducks and turns his back to the ladder in an instant. Turning again, Spike goes for another right hand but gets caught under the arm... ...but Maddix can't get the Exploder off with his bad leg. Maddix tries again but again his knee is too tender. Especially when Spike kicks him in the kneecap. "See...with a bad knee, Maddix is screwed." Riley says proudly. "If he can't suplex Spike Jenkins, how is he going to climb a ladder?" Another kick to the kneecap breaks Maddix's grip...and a third drops him to one knee. Glancing up at the belt hanging above the ring and the ladder propped to the side of him, Spike wearily shakes off title aspirations for now and lines up Maddix... *SMACK!* ...for a stiff kick to the chest... *SMACK!* ...and a second. Backing off, Spike lines up the KO kick to the head, but Maddix ducks it. His momentum swings him around, back into a shot to the gut from Maddix and a shot across the back of both of Spike's knees. Spike wobbles but stays up as Maddix pulls himself up and again goes to the knees. Down drops Jenkins to his knees, as now Maddix lines up Spike. *smack!* A forearm strike sends Spike's head for a spin... "Oh, he's not doing this." sighs Riley. *smack!* ...and a second rocks his equilibrium even more. "He can't be doing this, can he?" Backing up, Maddix pauses for a moment...and adopts the crane pose, to the amusement of the Detroit crowd, before dropkicking Spike directly in the jaw. Spike's head snaps back and he slumps to the canvas, leaving Maddix to use the ladder to pull himself up. Quickly, Maddix then carries the ladder into the centre of the ring and takes a few moments to set the ladder underneath his belt. "And now, it seems Landon Maddix feels Spike is suitably incapacitated to attempt a run at the belt now!" With the ladder set-up, Maddix tries to shake off some of the tightness in his right knee before beginning the climb. Spike is dazed from the dropkick but has spotted Maddix, so tries to regain his bearings as Maddix is dragging himself up the rungs of the ladder gingerly. Spike watches on dizzily and tries to crawl forward, as Maddix is making quick progress. The crowd is abuzz, as Maddix is past halfway... ...reaching up, Landon can't quite reach the belt, so he goes to take another step... ...only for Spike to shove the bottom of the ladder... ...causing it, and Maddix, to crash down to the mat...prompting big jeers from the Detroit crowd. "Oh, Landon may have landed on his bad leg again." Comet points out. "Well in a match like this, you have to expect injuries to occur at every turn." Down from the fall, Maddix indeed clutches at his knee, while Spike breathes a sigh of relief...and another...and plenty more as he fights to restore some energy. Jet is literally screaming Spike on now as he uses the ladder as assitance to stand back up, shaking off he cobwebs. Quickly he then grabs Maddix by the leg and slides out of the ring with it still held. Hanging the leg over the ring apron, Spike pauses for a moment to soak up the hatred of the crowd, before lifting and slamming the leg down on the edge of the apron! Maddix snaps up to a seated position in shock, as Spike reaches through the ropes and pops him with a right hand. "SPIKE SUCKS! SPIKE SUCKS! SPIKE SUCKS!" The crowd are right on the Rev0 member's case as he slides back into the ring, hauling up the ladder and walking towards the ropes. Maddix's leg still hangs over the edge of the ring as Spike lines him up, hovering the ladder over the ropes... *CRACK!* "AAAAARRRGGGHHH!" "OOOOOHHHHHHH!!!" ...AND DROPS IT ONTO MADDIX'S KNEE!!! "Sweet Lord, what a callous move there by Spike Jenkins..." "Callous? You're certainly becoming more critical in your old age Comet. That wasn't callous, that was a brilliant move...and perfectly legal." "Ethical?" "Ethics are for suckers." As the ladder clatters to the floor, Maddix is left howling in pain and clutching his knee in agony...Megan having to rush over to check on him. Meanwhile, Spike has rolled from the ring in his cloudy state and routes under the ring looking for something... ...another ladder! Spike heaves the ladder up and into the ring, just as Jet does the same with the original ladder across the ring. Now, two ladders lay in the ring. Spike rolls in to find the two climbing opportunities and pauses, waiting for a moment to check that he's not seeing double, before picking up one of the ladders and setting it up. But for some reason, Spike stops. Maddix is back-crawling desperately into the centre of the ring, with Jenkins watching him with a glare in his eyes, deciding to pick up the second ladder. Reaching the upright ladder Landon plants his hands on the rungs and starts to pull himself up. But Spike walks over and stands over Maddix, lifting up the ladder and bringing it down! *CRACK!* Hitting Landon between the shoulder-blades with the ladder, Spike waits for Maddix to crumple to the canvas in a heap, before deciding to set up the second ladder beside the first. And with the coast seemingly clear, Spike now begins his climb. Going up the one ladder, Spike goes rung by rung with his eyes on the prize, not bothering to look down to check on Maddix's position. If he cared to look down, he'd notice that Maddix is not only up to his knees but in possession of a steel chair, slid into him by Megan Skye! "Hey!" "Now now Robert, it's perfectly legal." As Spike gets to the halfway point of the ladder, Maddix wills himself to his feet and wields the chair as best possible with a bullseye locked on Spike's kidneys, like someone with only one of his own. Using the ladder as more assistance, Maddix lines up Spike and swings with the chair... *CRACK!* ...catching Spike in the lower back with the chair! That stops Spike in his tracks, mid-ladder. Seeing that Spike is still closer to the title than he is, Maddix snarls through gritted teeth, letting out a cry of intensity... *CRACK!* ...and landing another chair-shot. Spike still clings onto the ladder however, so Maddix takes the chair and props it between the two ladders before beginning to scale the second one. His bad leg slows down the climb but Maddix is persistant and pretty soon beside Spike, quickly reaching over and hitting a stiff forearm. Spike wobbles but again clings onto the rungs he's holding for dear life. So Maddix reaches down for the chair...but takes a forearm from Spike! "This is dangerous territory!" gasps Comet. "And this is coming from someone who has scaled multi-storey buildings and skyscrapers in the pursuit for JUSTICE~!" Both men are now reeling as Maddix hits another forearm, stiffer than the last, shaking up his equilibrium again. Spike's eyes look a little glazed now, but there's still thought going through his brain as he thrusts out a leg and catches Maddix across the knee! Another howl from Maddix pierces through Spike's ears and brings a groggy smile to his face, as he reaches over to grab Maddix. But he reaches right back, jabbing Spike in the eyes! "YEEEEEAAAAHHH!" With his vision dis-orientated, Spike grabs the top of the ladder as a save haven. But as he does, Maddix places his weaker leg onto Spike's ladder and locks on a reverse front facelock. "Oh no..." "Who's stupid idea was this match!?!" snaps Riley, a little prematurely. Maddix stops for a moment and makes the cardinal mistake of looking down. But there's no turning back now and he knows it, so whips his arm around all the same for a bockbustering Landon Eye. With the height though, his movement is pretty laboured, allowing Spike to escape from the loose inverted front facelock, catching the arm coming... ...AND TAKING MADDIX OFF THE LADDER WITH AN STO!!! "OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" "ESS TEE OOOOOHHH...MY...GOD!" wails Comet "HO - LEE SHIT! HO - LEE SHIT! HO - LEE SHIT!" Both men hit the canvas with tremendous velocity and bounce back off the canvas, Maddix taking the brunt of the fall obviously...but Spike doesn't come off good either. Maddix slumps back in a daze to the canvas, laid sprawled out to the side of Spike, who is groaning and moaning to the side of him. "Well, up goes the punishment count." deadpans Riley, clearly less concerned now Spike isn't in danger. "Will these men be in any condition for the final considering the way this match is heading?" Jet tries to conseal a smile as she pounds the canvas, trying to encourage Spike on. He is up to his knees but apparantly favouring his knees again from the way he landed. However, the title is in his line of vision now and the gleaming belt washes away his pain, momentarily. Pulling himself up on the ladder, Spike also has the effects of the numerous forearms bothering him. But all the same, he plants his foot on rung one... ...and stops, seeing the chair placed between the ladders. And with a smile, Spike grabs it. Maddix is still out as Spike turns around with the chair and looks down at him. With a handful of hair, Spike pulls and pulls until Maddix slumps into a seated position, slowly coming to his senses as he does. "Now, why isn't Citizen Jenkins going for the belt?" "Revolution Zero are like elephants. Very strong, very intimidating and have very good memories. Spike still feels that chair-shot and he doesn't like it." "But, he can't win with a chairshot." "He can gain some sweet revenge though." As Maddix begins to stir, Spike passes him the chair while he's still not thinking clearly and backs up, smiling to Jet who looks rather confused. Maddix pulls himself up and holds the chair, not knowing why he has it...not really knowing he's holding it probably. Spike meanwhile waits for the right moment, waiting for Maddix to get up before spinning himself around, with a roaring... *CRACK!* ...Chairshot! "YEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!" A chairshot catches Spike before the elbow can catch Maddix, leaving the challenger out cold and looking rather foolish. Maddix is meanwhile on one knee, unable to put too much weight on his leg. Pulling himself back up, Maddix squints up at the lights and of course the belt, turning and beginning to climb the left-most ladder. Bad leg and all, Maddix begins to make his way up the ladder slowly. Megan squeals at Maddix to speed up, almost pleading him to hury himself up...as Spike is up to his knees. Of course, he has no idea where he is. But he is on his knees. Maddix continues to climb, step by painful step... ...he passes halfway, as Spike is now gazing around absently-mindedly. "This must be agonising for Megan and Jet...like watching one of those animal programs where the zebra is being chased by the lion and you're willing the zebra to get away..." "...or in Jet's case, willing for some bloodshed." "Exactly." Maddix has one arm reaching up in a desperate attempt to reach the gold from the position he's in. Beneath him, Spike has reached his feet and is directly under Maddix now, reaching up and grabbing him by the ankle. Wearily Maddix kicks away and frees his leg, stepping quickly up a rung... ...but Spike steps up a rung too, to grab the ankle again. Again Maddix kicks away and this time Spike falls from the ladder. But he lands on his feet and has the presence of mind to grab the steel chair at his feet, quickly looking up and thrusting upwards with the chair... "URRGHH!" "OOOOOOOOOOOHHHH!" ...catching Maddix between the ass cheeks with the top of the chair! "Well, that's one way of clearing your constipation." groans Riley. Maddix stops with a groan, as Spike quickly unlocks the arms of the right ladder and folds it up. Still Maddix is holding his gut as Spike takes the ladder and aims... *CRACK!* ...hitting Maddix in the back, causing him to fly off the ladder... ...and drop throat first across the top rope!! "And Spike halts Maddix's momentum in a BIG way!" Spike remains holding the ladder and still looks a little out of it as he drops the ladder flat on the canvas with a thud. Across the ring Maddix is writhing in pain from numerous body parts, Megan watching on with about half of her nails chewed down to the bone. Spike staggers over to Maddix and grabs two handfuls of hair to pull him up from the canvas, dragging him up to a vertical base before slamming him in the throat with an uppercut! As he grabs his throat, Maddix is wide open for a boot to the gut before getting whipped across to the ropes. Rebounding, Landon manages to duck a lariat attempt however. Spike stumbles forward and pulls himself up, turning to take another forearm strike! And a second! A third and Spike's eyes are rolling again. Spike goes for the knee again... ...but Maddix catches a boot, pulling Spike forward and into a quick Exploder! Spike lands hard on the back of his head and bounces away, while Maddix has found some adrenaline from somewhere it seems. "You just cannot keep La Cucaracha down!" says Comet in awe. "Give it time..." Spike drags himself off the canvas, but Maddix is waiting, planting his hands on Spike's head and lifting himself up for a Hurri-Lanran...BLOCKED! Spike allows Landon to hang himself upside down and somehow has the strength to keep him there to block the hold. With the Ratings Clash on his mind Spike tries to step over the arms with Maddix keeping them moving to prevent him from doing so. "If Spike hits this, you consider the cokcroach well and truly crushed!" Visably Spike is getting frustrated as Maddix continues to fight his arms free. But he knows he can't get his arms out of the way forever, so Maddix thinks quick and grabs the ladder that lays beneath him. Spike tries to step over the arms again. But he can't without treading into the ladder, so tries to pull the arms free... ...but THAT doesn't work, as Maddix is clinging onto the ladder rungs. So Spike gives up and tries to lift Maddix back up into powerbomb position... ...but the combined weight of Maddix and ladder prove too much, so THAT doesn't work! Cursing, Spike finally gives up and pushes Maddix off. He lands on his feet, but the angry Spike suddenly kicks out and slams the flat of his boot over the top of Landon's head to daze him. "What persistance there from Maddix to prevent the Ratings Crash." "Any truth to the rumour that he named that in honour of his run with the SJL World Title?" "I'd imagine not Robert." Dazed Maddix is as he pulls himself up, having let go of the ladder now. Spike smashes him with a forearm across the jaw to further daze him, before pulling Maddix forward. He steps over the ladder and looks to grab Spike, but Jenkins ducks underneath and picks Maddix off the mat... *CRAAACK!* ...before snapping him down with an ALMIGHTY spinebuster, on the ladder!!! "OOOOOHHHHHHH!!!" Maddix lays splayed across the ladder as Spike wastes no time in bending back down, hooking up Maddix's legs and summoning up the strength to dead-lift him from the ladder, into the air...and into Ratings Crash position again! "He's going for it again!" Comet observes astutely. This time Maddix is in no position and no condition to counter, allowing Spike to step over the arms and drop... *CRAAACK!* ...with the Ratings Crash ON THE LADDER!!! "OOOOOHHHHHHH!!!" "IT'S OVER!" screams Riley, delighted. "No WAY can he get up from that one!!" With Maddix curled up in a fetal position, it seems Spike has free reign to begin his climb...the ICTV Title feet above him and almost crying out to be grabbed. Spike knows that he's close to glory and, despite falling to one knee from dizziness, Spike grabs the ladder and pulls himself back up. Jet is wailing again, pounding the canvas to encourage Spike on...while Megan is also slamming her hands down on the apron to will Maddix up, creating quite the atmosphere. "MAD - DIX! MAD - DIX! MAD - DIX!" The crowd are gettin' goin' now, with Spike climbing up the ladder at a pretty quick pace. Not quick enough maybe, as Maddix is recovering and looking up at Spike and his climb in quite a bit of despair...as he knows his leg is screwed up, knows his ribs are hurting. But he also knows he HAS to save his title... ...as Spike has passed halfway! Jet's expression is slightly more relaxed now as Spike nears the belt, inch by inch as he climbs. The damage of the match is taking it's toll and Spike has to stop to shake away some cobwebs before continuing on. Spike can now see the belt just above him and with one last deep breath, Spike reaches up... ...and is a fingertip's length away from the belt! Spike sighs again as he steps up a rung, before reaching... ...but suddenly, the ladder is taken out from underneath him by the diving Maddix... *WHAAAM!* "OOOOOOOOOOF!" ...and Spike falls to the mat! So does the ladder though, toppling down ON TOP OF MADDIX!!! "OOOOOHHHHHHH!!!" "OH! What a terrible break for the champion!" groans Comet With both men down, the crowd sit back down with murmering now going through the crowd, some applause starting up for the two men's efforts thus far in the match. Spike seems to have landed hard on his side while Maddix is trying to lift the ladder off of his body. "MAD - DIX! MAD - DIX! MAD - DIX!" "We are at a stalemate." Comet runs down. "The ICTV Title hangs in the balance, as does a spot in the Cold Front Classic final! Both men's valet seem worried Robert." "Well, obviously. If they weren't worried then they wouldn't be very good valets, would they?" "Hmm...I suppose." "Come on. Managers manage. Valets stand around, look pretty and look worried sometimes." "Anti-female statements?" "Well, until they book another Women's Title match, I have to pick my spots." Finally, the two are stirring. Maddix has removed the ladder from atop him and is setting it up underneath the belt. Apparantly, oblivious to Spike doing the same with the other ladder right next to him. And with both ladders set, both men begin to climb. "Here we go!" says Riley in a rare moment of impartial excitement. "A race for the gold." The Detroit crowd are buzzing once more as the race is on, with Maddix and Spike seemingly climbing the rungs in unison. About a quarter of the way up, Spike finally reaches over and clubs Maddix in the ribs before climbing a little quicker... ...not quickly enough though, as Maddix manages to club him back before climbing level with him. Both men are looking weary, both looking hurt. Maddix seems to have the better stamina at this point, but Spike has the better legs and they're cancelling each other out at the moment... ...until Spike reaches over and catching Maddix around the back of the head! But whatever plans he had are stopped by an elbow to the gut and a forearm strike by Landon. "This could prove catastrophic here for these two men in this position. One slip-up. One stumble." "One spine-crippling move..." Landon reaches over and forearms Spike again and it seems Spike is dazed, as Maddix climbs at pace now, just inches away from the belt. A hold of the shorts from Spike stops him from getting too far, but Maddix obviously believes he's close enough as he reaches up... ...AND TOUCHES THE BELT... ...but Spike nails him in the ribs before pulling him down a couple of rungs. "C'Mon Spike..." Now Maddix is stunned momentarily as Spike clambers up two rungs and looks to reach up. He too looks within touching distance on the belt... ...but Maddix slams a punch into the side to halt him. "C'Mon Spike!" Both men are now stationary, but only for a moment before Spike swings back with a back elbow that hits Maddix square in the nose. Holding his face in pain, Maddix is open for a second elbow. But he ducks a third and as Spike almost topples backwards, Maddix ducks in and finds himself ready to back suplex Spike! "Oh no...no!" "This doesn't look good Robert!" Jet holds her hands over his eyes, peeking through only to confirm Spike's fate as Maddix lifts... ...BUT SPIKE GRABS THE BELT... ...ONLY FOR A SECOND, as Maddix hurriedly pulls him back down... ...AND CROTCHES HIM ACROSS THE TOP OF THE LADDER!!!!! "OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" "Sweet Methusela!!!" "My god, I have NEVER seen that before." howls Riley. "And I wish that was still true!" Spike's face deforms into that of a fish...eyes popping out of his head, mouth ready to be hooked...as he hangs precariously on top of the ladder. Suddenly, Maddix reaches forward and plants a hand into Spike's back, pushing him off the top of the ladder... ...causing Spike to wipe out the second ladder... ...AND SPIKE PLUS LADDER HIT THE MAT!!! "YEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!" The crowd ERUPT as suddenly Maddix is alone on the ladder, no-one to stop him! Megan encourages him on while Maddix looks down, sees Spike not moving... ...reaches up... "NO...Jet, get in THERE!" ...GRABS THE BELT... "NOOOOOO..." ...AND PULLS IT DOWN!!! "YEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!" *DING DING DING!* The crowd are going NUTS now as Maddix slumps over the top of the ladder with the belt pressed against his face like an old friend...very close friend, obviously...the adrenaline rush gone and the pain ready to set in. Quickly Megan and Jet enter the ring with Megan helping to get Maddix safely down to flat ground, while Jet is attending to Spike who hit very hard on landing. "Your winner of the match...STILL SWF Intercontinental Television Champion...and finalist in the Cold Front Classic! LANDON "LA CUCARACHA" MAAAADDIIIIXXXXX!!!" Maddix is helped down by Megan, who holds Maddix's belt holding arm in the air for him while hugging him tightly with the other arm to keep him from collapsing. Across the ring, Spike is being attended to by Jet. A very angry looking Jet. Maddix meanwhile gingerly exits the ring with Megan by his side. "So, Landon Maddix, STILL ICTV Champion. And now, he goes on to the finals Robert." "I can't say as I'm impressed. But, I guess in the end Maddix was the luckier of the two. And the better cheater." "Impartial as ever Robert. Kudos. So...that means in the Cold Front Classic Final, Toxxic can watch on and look forward to facing either Landon Maddix or..." FADE OUT Copyright SWF 2004 "So, I was sittin' there, Smark ravin' naked..."

“Ladies and gentlemen, please rise for the national anthem.” Funyon steps into the center of the ring, accompanied by SWF Bases Loaded Training Center alum “Picture Perfect” Aaron Carpenter and flavor-of-the-month Bryan Levy. With that, the background music begins to play. Funyon begins… “La-da-da-da-dahh It's the motherfuckin D-O-double-G (SNOOP DOGG!) La-da-da-da-dahh You know I'm mobbin with the D.R.E. (YEAH YEAH YEAH You know who's back up in this MOTHERFUCKER!) What what what what? (So blaze the weed up then!) Blaze it up, blaze it up! (Just blaze that shit up nigga, yeah, 'sup Snoop??) Top Dogg, bite me all, nigga burn the shit up D-P-G-C my nigga turn that shit up C-P-T, L-B-C, yeah we hookin back up And when they bang this in the club baby you got to get up Thug niggaz drug dealers yeah they givin it up Lowlife, yo' life, boy we livin it up Takin chances while we dancin in the party fo' sho' Slip my hoe a forty-fo' and she got in the back do' Bitches lookin at me strange but you know I don't care Step up in this motherfucker just a-swangin my hair Bitch quit talkin, quick walk if you down with the set Take a bullet with some dick and take this dope from this jet Out of town, put it down for the Father of Rap And if yo' ass get cracked, bitch shut yo' trap Come back, get back, that's the part of success If you believe in the X you'll be relievin your stress La-da-da-da-dahh” Carpenter adds, “It's the motherfuckin D.R.E. (Dr. Dre MOTHERFUCKER!) Funyon retorts, “La-da-da-da-dahhh” And Carpenter picks up, “ You know I'm mobbin with the D-O-double-G Straight off the fuckin streets of C-P-T King of the beats you ride to em in your Fleet (Fleetwood) or Coupe DeVille rollin on dubs How you feelin whoopty=whoop nigga whut? Dre and Snoop chronic'ed out in the 'llac with Doc in the back, sippin on 'gnac (yeah) Clip in the strap, dippin through hoods (what hoods?) Compton, Long Beach, Inglewood! South Central out to the Westside (wessyde) It's California Love, this California bud got a nigga gang of pub I'm on one, I might bail up in the Century Club with my jeans on, and my team strong Get my drink on, and my smoke on Then go home with, somethin to poke on (whassup bitch?) Loc it's on for the two-triple-oh Comin real, it's the next episode...” Levy, saving the best for last, brings up the rear. “Hold up, heyyyyyyyy for my niggaz who be thinkin we soft We don't, playyyyyyy We gon' rock it til the wheels fall off Hold up, heyyyyyyyy for my niggaz who be actin too bold Take a, seeaaaaaat Hope you ready for the next episode HeyyyeyyyeEYEYyyyEYYYY.... .... smoke weed everday!” The crowd stands, bursting into cheers for an astoundingly patriotic rendition of “The Next Episode” as the show opens.