Ace309

Speaking of Wrathapalooza... Happy Birthday to Shortdogger Ian's handler~!

I dunno. Michael Clark Duncan as a certain class about him, whereas Thugg has a certain Sapp about him.

Renegade! Happy birthday to one of the participants in the legendary Hell in a Pool match at Wrathapalooza I~!

Drew Carey with a putty neck. A younger, slimmer Bruce Baumgartner. Kurt Angle. But my #1 choice? Dean Malenko, with a hairpiece.

Nice little promo. Lobo's a bit much, imo, but the promo did a good job of illustrating the tension between Candace and Frisco, and fleshing out their interaction a little more.

Hey! HEY! Do NOT knock the Sponge!

::fires up word::

MAIN EVENT TRIPLE THREAT, WORLD TITLE BOUT, TWO OUT OF THREE FALLS Janus© vs "The Superior One" Tom Flesher© vs Toxxic - NP TAG TEAM MATCH TAG TEAM TITLE BOUT 42nd Street© vs Andrea Montgomery & The Birdman - I think 42nd St has the hradkor talent, so I'm predicting them outright, but Birdrea wouldn't surprise me. TRIPLE THREAT NUMBER ONE CONTENDER BOUT; SUBMISSIONS MATCH Jamie Drazon vs Ace Lezaire vs Dace Night - My god, this match is frickin' sweet. Dace by an eyelash, since Lezaire seems a teense out of it. SINGLES MATCH ICTV TITLE BOUT Johnny Dangerous© vs Landon "La Cucaracha" Maddix - I want Much More Maddix! Plus, Johnny could, you know, elevate. SINGLES MATCH USJL TITLE BOUT Manson© vs "The Icon" Max King - Manson to retain, with King making a strong showing. HARDCORE MATCH HARDCORE TITLE BOUT Martin "Big Country" Hunt© vs Sean Davis - BIG CUNT~! SINGLES MATCH Ced Ordonez vs Munich - Cedric! Cedric! SINGLES MATCH ??? vs Candace - ???, because Candace is still finding her style. MALL BRAWL V Austin Sly vs "The Corona" Vladimir Everheart vs Edward James vs Petey the Irish Penguin vs Ryan Dustin vs ??? - Sly~!

PARTIAL COMMENTS OF A SMARKDOWN NATURE Insert witty banter here. Manson Promo - Nice little segment here that makes the show feel a little like a Raw. Card - I’m required by law to applaud anything King does. Cruiserweight Title Match - I’m prohibited by law from commenting on anything that I do. Janus Threatens Michael Anderson - Teasing a debut or return is always nice. Very nice. Candace vs. Chance Silver - This definitely could have used some polish. The commentators’ characters are pretty wooden, but that’s not much of a concern for a brand-new WFer because, of course, it takes some time to get a handle on the Comet and Riley characters. I couldn’t, however, keep from cringing every time I saw “Paladian.” The word’s right on his stats. Blocking a Swanton with a knee to the gut would require quite a bit of leverage and flexibility. Silver’s dropping to one knee really could have used a commentary line in there somewhere; Riley explaining or belittling the gesture seems like the most obvious way to go. I also noticed that your transitions tend to have a feeling of “Okay, I did x, now I think I’ll do y.” That’s sort of equivalent to bodyslamming a guy, then standing around for a few seconds, and then suplexing him. There doesn’t seem to be much flow from one spot to the next… I don’t get why Chance would go from a German and bridge-out to a Cobra Clutch, as opposed to maybe another German, or working the bridge spot with Chance forcing Canadace back down with a blow to the gut. (The bridge spot is a beautiful thing. Learn it. Love it.) And that spanking spot felt VERY strange. The finish was relatively inventive, so I won’t fault you on that. There just didn’t seem to be much continuity throughout the match. Also, your punctuation and description were both pretty weak… your match had the same sense of “A happens, then Candace does B, then Chance does C” that Rob Gilbert was suffering from a few weeks ago. You could stand to describe the moves a little more, as well as skim some of the other writers’ matches to get an idea of the conventions as far as punctuating your sentences go. All in all, not a bad first effort. The learning curve’s very steep – stick around for a few shows and you’ll find your writing improving by leaps and bounds. USJL Contendership Tables Match - Manson. The character’s name is MANSON. Overall, nice action. Tables matches are by definition spotty, but this one seemed to develop nicely and it was a fun read. I’m pleased with how you’re developing the Kelly Connelly character. It sort of feels legitimate to have the manager be more interesting than the wrestler, but it’s hard to do in a matchwriting context, so it’s nice to see it happening. MORE COMMENTS LATER~!

All things being equal, the Col. Angus sketch is a contender for one of Walken's best.

It would have been much better if any of them knew a damn thing about Kamala. They should have... I don't know... prepped them? "Hey big man, you from Hawaii? Hula hula!" Jesus Christ.

Point across, same as when I made a scene in a card thread about how weed rage is not a valid excuse for being an asshole.

The SWF rumbled into MSG last night, and the show opened up with a really hot promo. I guess it didn't make the broadcast, but Flesher's Heartland Brewery plug was a nice local touch. Odd that it didn't make the show, since the later segment didn't make much sense without it. === “We’re in Madison Square Garden!” Cyclone Comet yells over the roar of the capacity crowd. “We are live on this wednesday night and we have some HUGE matches coming up for you, including our World Heavyweight Champion in ANOTHER handicap match! Cyclone Comet here at ringside, along with my sidekick Bobby Riley-” “I’m not your sidekick!” Riley interrupts, fuming. “And before we go any further I want to state what a travesty of justice went down last saturday when our special edition of Storm, occurring right in the heart of Flesher Country, saw the Superior One ‘defeated’ by some jumped-up little-” But Bobby Riley is cut off as the Smarktron blacks out and the crunching guitars of Lostprophets’ ‘We Still Kill The Old Way’ blast out over Madison Square Garden. Jagged white letters flash up the words ‘Prepare To Be Proved Wrong’ before cutting to a shot of Toxxic taking Mike Van Siclen off a balcony and through a table with the Toxxic Shock Syndrome, the devastating landing timed to coincide with the- ‘GO!’ *BOOOM!!* -explosion of red pyro announcing the arrival of the SWF’s premier straight-edger! “-him!” Riley finishes, pointing in anger as Toxxic steps through the smoke and grins out at the New York crowd. “That man broke the law of Flesher Country!” “Really, Robert. I’m sure they were only guidelines.” The Straight-Edge Sensation strolls down to the ring and rolls under the bottom rope before demanding a microphone from Funyon and turning out to face the crowd. “The more observant among you will have noticed that I’ve come out to my music, not that of Revolution Zero,” Toxxic begins. “This is because despite my impressive performance on Storm, Sean and Spike were not so good. This isn’t about them, this is about me. Oh, and don’t worry, no history lessons tonight,” he assures the New Yorkers, who respond in the only way they know how. “TOXX-IC SUCKS!” “TOXX-IC SUCKS!” “TOXX-IC SUCKS!” “I’m going to talk about events that went down only four days ago,” the rookie continues, “when I stepped into the ring on Storm and did what nobody thought I could do - beat Tom Flesher in a straight-up singles match.” “TOXX-IC SUCKS!” “TOXX-IC SUCKS!” “TOXX-IC SUCKS!” “Now after I’d dropped Tom on his head, Janus decided to stick his red-eyed face into my business,” Toxxic says. “Let’s get one thing straight, sunshine - I’m not standing for that. Don’t for one second think that because I’ve been concentrating on putting Tom Flesher in his place that I’ve forgotten about you, or your title. I’m coming for your title, and I’m coming for YOU because you took the ICTV Title off me TWICE, and I don’t forget losses in a hurry.” “TOXX-IC SUCKS!” “You have to admit, Comet, Toxxic has had his sights set on Tom Flesher, and Janus has been getting ignored. Don’t you think that’s dangerous for a guy who’s essentially a rookie?” “Robert, I think it’s just as dangerous for Tom Flesher to continue to focus on Toxxic, if only because Toxxic is perfectly able and willing to injure Flesher alone OR with help. If either of these men loses focus on Janus, the Hell Machine will be more than happy to remind them quite forcibly.” “So Janus, let me-” BOOM~! Toxxic looks toward the entrance, surprised, as an explosion of blue pyro and smoke lights up Madison Square Garden! Led Zeppelin’s “Kashmir” roars through the arena, and Tom Flesher slowly struts through the curtain to an extremely hot reaction from the crowd. They boo as Flesher takes up residence on the stage, dressed in his dark denim jeans and jacket set with a plain white t-shirt underneath. He holds a bottle of Farmer John’s Oatmeal Stout beer from New York City’s venerable Heartland Brewery, and has a lit cigarette in his other hand. As he smirks and takes a drag off his cigarette, the music fades. Flesher drops his smoke on the ground, grinds it out and grabs a microphone. “Well, well, well,” says Flesher, his face in a sarcastic grin. “It’s so good to see you here, Toxxic. I figured after you got lucky last week, you’d be so happy that you’d retire so you could brag to your grandchildren about how you went out on top and did something that so few other people have done – beating Tom Flesher clean in the middle of the ring. All I have to – ” Even as Flesher tries to continue, he’s quickly drowned out by “FLESHER SUCKS! FLESHER SUCKS!” chants. He sighs, taking a sip from his bottle of beer, and rolls his eyes. After a few seconds of Flesher’s impatient foot-tapping, the crowd quiets down again. “Toxxic, all I have to say about last week is that you better make sure you have it on tape, because it’s the ONLY time you’re ever going to go over me. Do you understand that? Just because you managed to do it once doesn’t mean you’ve got any sort of advantage going into our next match… no, it means just the opposite. You caught me once, but I know you inside out, Toxxic. You can’t possibly think you’re ever going to take a win from me again – ESPECIALLY one with the World Title on the line. I mean, you’d have to be on crack, and lord knows you’ve never touched the stuff.” Toxxic stands in the ring, steamed. “Listen up, sunshine, I – ” “Sorry, man,” Flesher interrupts. “Can you repeat that? I’m having a little trouble with your accent.” “Oh, sod off, you bastard! You know as well as – ” Flesher shakes his head. “Can’t understand it. Not a word. All I have to say to you, my man, is that you and I both know I owe you. The difference is, where you had to soften me up with Davis and Jank, I’m gonna take you out all by myself. I’m an honorable fighter, just like you say you are – but the difference is that I’m not going to rely on a druggie and my 280-pound cellmate named Bubba to do my dirty work. Oh no.” Tom takes another swig of his brew. “I handle my grudges one on one. Your days are numbered, Toxxic. Just remember that.” With that, “Kashmir” fires up again, and Flesher exits. The camera focuses on the red-faced Toxxic as the show fades to commercial.

No. I'm from Buffalo, New York, which is a few degrees north. I don't know of any immediate family out that way, but it wouldn't be unheard of.

Yeah, there's a girl downtown who has a pair that say "Booty Queen." Still not as good as the one extremely fat girl I saw at the mall once who had a pair that said "Abercombie." The R had disappeared between her ass cheeks.

Wegman's cola from the can.

Judging by his entry in the losing matches thread, I'd say no.

MAIN EVENT SINGLES MATCH "The Superior One" Tom Flesher vs Toxxic (Special Guest Commentator: Janus) - np ICTV TITLE BOUT LANDON'S DISGRESSION STIP Landon "La Cucaracha" Maddix© vs Johnny Dangerous - Landon digresses TAG TEAM TITLE BOUT 42nd Street©* (Todd Cortez & The Masked Man) vs Spike Jenkins & Sean Davis * = Not 'official' champions - 42nd Street, and they change their name to the Times Square Hookers SINGLES MATCH Ace Lezaire vs Dace Night - Ace, but just barely SUBMISSIONS MATCH Jamie Drazon vs Alan Clark - Drazon FATAL FOUR WAY USJL TITLE #1 CONETENDERSHIP "The Icon" Max King vs Munich vs vs Manson vs Ced Ordonez - Its aCedric HARDCORE TITLE BOUT Ryan Dustin© vs Martin "Big Country" Hunt - Dustin~! SINGLES MATCH The Birdman vs Andrea Montgomery - GOdrea SINGLES MATCH Edward James vs "The Corona" Vladimir Everheart - Everheart

Shows usually go up overnight... between midnight at 1 AM Eastern. With Zed posting (he's in the Mountain zone) or when Thoth posts (Pacific), sometimes it's a little later. It's easiest just to go to bed and check the results in the morning.

Did you sleep through high school Civics? A) Bush has nothing to do with the actual enactment of the federal amendment, aside from cheering on the sidelines. B) The Supreme Court couldn't "slap down" anyone about a duly-enacted amendment to the Constitution. An amendment can't be struck down as unconstitutional for reasons that I hope are obvious.

I could give him the answer, but he really wouldn't understand it without having read all the background material about the rules for the season pass.

As you trained Masked Man, you're now the equivalent of Dr. Tom Prichard. Dr. Tom jobs to nobodies all the time!

Yes, which is why it's still such a novelty that he's posting about it in a thread that has nothing to do with it.

MATT MYERS~!

WRONG~!