Ace309

If I can make a slight addendum... Probably one of WWE's most coherent movesets - that is, one that would fit "the rules" set forth in this piece - is Christian's. The guy does every DDT known to man, but in the current state of WWE, a DDT is more or less worthless. So what does he do? He uses them to soften his opponent up for a Bigger, Better DDT in the Unprettier. It works. I promise.

Hey Munich? Remember when you let Xero Pillmanize you in his first WF match? And Stubby didn't bother reading, and so he booked you against me on the next card? Why, no, I DON'T have anything to add.

UPDATED 7/2/04: For the new Stats thread Smarks Board Name: Ace309 Wrestlers Name: "The Superior One" Tom Flesher Height: 5'10" Weight: 231 pounds (now within easy sauna distance of the Cruiswerweight limit) Hometown: Buffalo, New York Age: 23 Face/Heel: Rudo, dick, bastard heel, whatever you want to call the guy who’ll step on your neck, count along with the ref and then still deny it. Ring Escort: Allison Onita Weapon(s): Not really the type to use weapons; probably nothing beyond a chair or a table, and even those only if the match requires it. Looks: Flesher is fairly stocky, a fireplug with broad shoulders, a barrel chest and an 18-inch neck. He wears his short brown hair combed forward and spiked in the front, nearly shaved on the sides with narrow reddish sideburns that go straight to the earlobe and hook down to about halfway down the jaw. Typical Irish/German - light brown hair, light blue eyes, average-to-fair skin. When wrestling, he wears black Doc Marten combat boots (a throwback to his old look, and he's become accustomed to wrestling in them) and a blue singlet with black trim at the edges and black swipes down the sides. He wears a blue warmup suit with black shoulder rings to the ring. Out of the ring, think GQ – stylish, erring toward conservative, but certainly not buttoned-up. Ring Entrance: “Kashmir” by Led Zeppelin. If you must, copypaste and edit from a recent card. Stats: Strength: 5 - He's a lightweight, but he can still hoist most guys around, being a suplex machine and all. Speed: 2 - His speed is more a result of his conditioning training than anything else, but he's fast enough to hit a high-impact finisher out of nowhere (the Ego Buster, for example). He also threw out a slingshot senton suicida against Dace Night on pay-per-view, but that really took the starch out of him. Vitality: 8 - Very good stamina, and hard to pin. Nearly never submits, and bleeds like a stuck pig given the opportunity. Charisma: 5 - He’s still great at working the crowd. Even if they don’t know it, they’re always doing exactly what he wants them to. Style: Technically skilled, with superb matwork and submission skills. Flesher tends to work slow at the beginning of a match, attempting submissions to fatigue his opponent, and slowly work up to high-impact suplexes and bigger submission holds. (He's like a New Japan junior who makes sense!) The standard strategy is to work his opponent's neck to keep him on the mat and fatigue him for either the Ego Buster or the Superior Stretch Beta. Against a much larger opponent, he'll concentrate on taking his opponent's legs out from under him and proceed to shoot for the Superior Stretch. Demonstrating his superiority by skill, rather than strictly by win-loss record, Flesher has forced himself to move more slowly in the early parts of the match. Without worrying about pleasing the fans and instead considering every match to be an athletic contest, he works for low risk and high percentages. Once he senses an opening, he’ll focus on that, relentlessly attacking it and going for submissions and falls until something works. Against a luchadore or a generic high-flyer, Flesher will take “low risk, high percentage” to whole new levels and simply try to ground the opponent with submissions and pretzel locks until such time that suplexes and bombs are appropriately low-risk. It occurs to him that the fans might not like this, but sometimes winning the match is more important than being entertaining. BREAKING KAYFABE: Do whatever the fuck you want with Flesher. If you want him to use a move that’s not in his stats, go ahead and do it. All I ask is that you use the stats as a guide and respect the no-punching thing, as the only time Flesher threw a punch was against Ejiro Fasaki when he was desperate not to give up the last fall and lose the World Title. Signature moves: Any of these can finish a match if properly built, though they're not 'finisher strength' per se. - Logical Disconnect (Exploder '98 - A sheer-drop pumphandle exploder) - Death Valley Driver - Backdrop driver (High-angle belly-to-back suplex) - Superior Stretch (Texas Cloverleaf) - Yakuza kick - Straitjacket suplex (Practically a sure pin if he can get it locked up, but without many lasting consequences. It's essentially a pinning combination, not a knockout blow.) - Fisherman's suplex - Superiority Complex (Lift the opponent into a stalling vertical suplex, then turn him chest-to-chest and sit out, slamming him onto his back with his legs pointing away. Cradle the legs for the fall.) Common moves: - Brainbuster - Railgun Suplex (Overhead belly-to-belly - usually catches someone running the ropes, but can initiate it from a standing position against someone about 240 or under) - German suplex (bridging or released) - Front headlock (aka front facelock.) -- From the front headlock, Flesher can do several things. He can use it as a choke, sprawl backward and throw knees at the opponent's head, apply a hammerlock and wait it out, or use the amateur-style cement series. For the sake of these explanations, assume the head is under Flesher's right arm. -- Cement Drop (Wrench the chin to the right side, hook the arm and drive forward, pushing the opponent onto his BUTT. Step with one foot on each side of his hips and continue driving forward into a Thesz press pin, keeping the chin wrench. The simplest way to finish, but also the hardest to hit against anyone who knows what he's doing.) -- Cement Mixer (Floatover front facelock suplex, ending with the same chin wrench-Thesz press pin as above.) -- Cement Job (From the front headlock, wrench the chin and underhook the opponent's arm with the left arm. Punch the left hand through and over the shoulder, driving the opponent to his back for the pin and keeping the chin wrench. See a movie of this here.) -- Flying Cement Job (Underhook the arm as for the Cement Job. Kick the left leg under the opponent's chest and pull him over it, using the same basic motion as a side headlock takeover. The hold finishes the same way as a Cement Job, but has the added benefit of knocking the wind out of the opponent.) -- Wet Cement (Bodyscissors front headlock – usually applied to a sitting opponent, throw on the headlock and then wrap the legs around the opponent’s middle from the front a la Jamie Noble. So named by Dace Night because getting caught in it is like getting stuck in wet cement – you just can’t get out.) - Stalling front suplex (Lifts the opponent up and then throws them face-down onto the mat; can also be done across the top rope) - Camel Clutch or Gedo clutch - Abdominal stretch, occasionally with the elbow stuck in the opponent’s ribs. - Body scissors, alone or with a full nelson, sleeper or just about any other move that fits the story of the match. - Doc Marten boot-related offense (Yakuza kick, double stomp, corner boot scrape to the face, kick to the knee, dropkick to the knee, enzuigiri) - Amateur-style techniques (http://www.themat.com/articles/showfaq.asp?fldAuto=5 has some excellent anigifs) -- … including the blast double leg, which functions as a spear -- … or the By The Numbers pin, which involves applying a hammerlock to the left arm of a face-down opponent, coming out to the front, threading your arm under the elbow of his right arm and forcing him onto his back with both arms controlled. - Elbowdrop into the knee (a la Greg Valentine) - Shotei/Palm blow (doesn't punch - only uses palms or backhands) - Bitchslap, bitchslap, bitchslap... just in case you didn't know he's better than you. Rare moves: - Burning Hammer (Torture rack into head drop. It’s almost guaranteed to end the match, but it’s hard to set up.) - Held Without Bail (Judge William Hearford’s Stretch Plum, which Tom used during his tenure in the M7 and face turn. He got accustomed to using it, and will now fall back on it when he needs to.) - The Boilermaker (Avalanche-style [off the top rope] brainbuster. Obviously limited by size. Set up with an Irish whip followed by either an avalanche or a running palm strike, then setting the opponent on the top rope and hitting a 'Venus' [leaping and spinning] palm strike.) Counter this with an Orange Crush Bomb and you win (see losses to TNT [ladder match, US Title] and Ejiro Fasaki [sWF Xmas PPV 2003, World Title]). Finishers: - Ego Buster (Sheer drop gutwrench suplex. For reference, see Fire Pro Wrestling Advance, 'Alevin's Lift'.) - Ego Trip (Calf Branding - generally set up by an Irish whip and a running shotei, Flesher sits on the top rope behind the opponent, plants a knee in the back of his neck and jumps off, driving the face into the mat. Mainly for heavyweight opponents. Did this once to Dace Night on a chair.) - Superior Stretch Beta (Back-mounted dragon sleeper) ACCOMPLISHMENTS: - Two-time SWF World Heavyweight Champion (95 days, over the Boston Strangler; lost to Ejiro Fasaki; five successful defenses [record tied again]; 89 days, over Taylor Nicholas Thompson; lost to Thoth; five successful defenses [record for most successful defenses, tied with Edwin MacPhisto]) - Former Tag Team Champion (With Frost, 101 days, over Mak Francis and Ced Ordonez for the vacant titles; lost to Justice & Rule) - Former ICTV Champion (63 days, over Perfect Bo at Genesis III; lost to Orochi) - Former Light Heavyweight Champion (68 days, over El Luchadore Magnifico; lost to Annie Eclectic) - 3-time US Champion [Record for most US Title Reigns, tied with Jay Dawg] (17 days [over Annie Eclectic and Xero for a vacant title; lost to Chris Raynor], 38 days [over Chris Raynor and Jay Dawg; lost to "TNT" Taylor Nicholas Thompson], 35 days [Over TNT; lost to Tod deKindes]) - 2001-2002 SWF Best US Champion - 2001-2002 SWF Most Promising Bumpee - 2002-2003 SWF Wrestler of the Year (Jayson Grant Memorial Trophy) - 2002-2003 SWF Heel of the Year (Ace of Clubs Trophy) - 2002-2003 SWF Best World Champion (HVille Thugg & Edwin MacPhisto Cup of Champions) - Participant, 2002-2003 SWF Feud of the Year (against Frost; blown off in Window Pain 2k3) - Leader, 2002-2003 SWF Stable of the Year (the now-defunct Magnificent Seven) SJL: Final record of 13-4 (12-3 singles) - 2-Time World Champion (10 days [over Z and "Deathwish" Danny Williams in a two-fall, two title match for the vacant World Title and Z's European Title; lost to Ash Ketchum], 7 days [over Ash Ketchum; lost to Ash Ketchum in a three-way cage match also involving Frost, Tom's last SJL match]) - European Champion (25 days [over Mike Van Siclen; lost to Z in a Fatal Four Way also involving "Deathwish" Danny Williams and Ced Ordonez]) === Manager Name: Allison Onita Age: 23 Status: Heel Height: 5' 6" Weight: 155 lbs. (less muscular than her sister, thanks to an extended period out of the ring) Weapon: Anything that comes to mind. She wrestled a hardcore style and is proficient with the Singapore cane or kendo stick, but can use just about anything. Looks: For now, Allison’s hair is a short bob reminiscent of Ann’s. She’ll wear something fashion-forward that matches Flesher’s wardrobe (which is almost invariably some shade of blue). Notes: Allison has, shall we say, flipped for Tom Flesher, much to her sister Ann’s chagrin. Flesher won her managerial services in a ladder match at Battleground, and though they haven’t come out and said so, it’s pretty obvious what’s going on in the locker room, although much of that, like her tenure in the Clan, is likely due to her inability to say no to a strong, charismatic personality like Flesher’s. She’s cocky, fired up and involved. She’ll be screaming at the referee, coaching Flesher and showing more emotion than your average corner. How much of this is just managerial fire and how much is her affinity Flesher, you can’t say exactly. Allison did an SWF stint as Lady Red, filling in for her sister during her time in the Clan. She didn’t do well in the ring, compiling a long losing streak despite success in the SJL. However, she is certainly able to hold her own for brief periods, and has practical training in judo. Stats: - Think of Allison as a less-ring-wary version of Ann Onita. She’s not as strong and can’t take as much damage, but she’s seen as a total witch for betraying her twin sister and so the crowd could absolutely kill her. Strength: 3 Speed: 5 Vitality: 5 Charisma: 7 Consider Allison able to do: - Drop Kiss (Dropkick to the mouth) - Superkick (Stepping Side Savate kick, more fast than hard, not finisher material) - Knee Strike to the Face (Usually by holding the back of the head and jumping up to make the attack) - Moonsault - Hard, hard kicks - Some minor judo throwing, depending on size and keeping in mind that judo is about leverage. She’ll be able to score ippon throws easily on Ann or Alan Clark, but not Charlie Matthews. These should be treated as finisher-strength: - Daybreak Pedigree - Crossface Chickenwing Clutch [or "Triple C"] – Crossface chickenwing in camel clutch position.

... Wait, wait, wait. By the time I get to the card thread, "Team Heel" has been claimed by the other team? Okay, who's coordinating shit for Team Heel, Moreso?

Well, take this for what you will, but my sister's kidney came from a motorcyclist. Ever since then, we've used the doctor's phrase - future donor - for bikers.

Care to brief those of us who roll our eyes at anything that can be stretchingly described as "board politics" and skip out of the thread? I don't read HCD or anything, so I'm not up on things.

Opening Promo - Nice banter between JD and Maddix to get some heat on the later match. Rob Gilbert vs. Manson vs. Munich - The writing style’s very dry, as others have said. Also… I don’t like having to go to the stats to figure out what just happened. I’m borderline illiterate and any extra reading leads to eyestrain and makes me angry and tired. I don’t know what happened there, but if it’s getting a count, the Guilty Pleasure could stand some description and some sort of… way of indicating that there’s some oomph there. You’re also writing Comet as Gorilla Monsoon. That’s totally excusable for someone who hasn’t had a chance to get familiar with the character, but I hope it evens itself out soon. The action was good. Perfectly Acceptable Wrestling. Heath Black vs. Petey the (Irish) Penguin - Shame there was nothing here. IL may have been taking his own advice to heart, which makes him an awful person. How’s Petey going to get over if he’s not on the card? Masked Man Vid Pack featuring Leonard Nimoy - I prefer George Takei. I also like that it’s just the US Title now. Good stuff. Cruiserweight Title: Austin Sly © vs. Big Country - Don’t call it a frat. It’s a fraternity. Would you call your Big Country a…? Never mind. Pretty spottastic action that lacked a little in the punch department, but that’s not unusual. It was a tiny bit dry to read, but the action was good and I loved the finish. (Y) “The Icon” Max King vs. Ced Ordonez - The match felt a little thin. Word-count says that it was a few shy of 2300, which isn’t much, and it seemed to go from big spot to big spot to big spot. Not to say that’s a bad thing… it was a WWE-style three-minute TV match, and that’s eminently doable (not everything needs to have 17 layers of psychology, after all), but it could have used a bit more description. Still, you handled Ced’s character very well, and I was happy to see another talented rookie on the card. Johnny Dangerous promo - The singlet has special meaning for Johnny, which lends a certain feeling of … urgency, maybe, or at least importance, to the match. I like it. Hardcore Championship: Mike Van Siclen © vs. Ryan Dustin - Dueling headlocks open up the match, which feels a little weird in a hardcore environment, but que sera sera. Dustin’s Bruce Lee taunt was cute. Ha! A Keep Off sign. I love hardcore. The ladder spot makes me appreciate Van Siclen’s heel role more and more by the minute. All in all, it’s a very nice Hardcore match, with Mike running the “pure” hardcore spots and Dustin popping the crowd. It finishes with Mike going to the ladder, which is Dustin’s domain, and paying for it. Great storytelling and good humor… and heaven knows this fed could use more ice cream. Wayward Sons promo - The Coy West cameo was pleasantly Rockish. I have to wonder, though, with no offense to Ced… what exactly has he done to be a “mentor?” Allison Onita/Tom Flesher promo - I need to skip the promoing and just write the gist in dialog form. And preferably, I need to write it in crayon. #1.5 Contender Match: Toxxic vs. Danny Williams - The first thing that struck me about this was the great comic commentary. I was thoroughly impressed with the number of other-people references in the commentary and the fact that they were all on-point. The second thing I noticed was the big dump in my pants. Christ, when did you get competitive at this level? Pretty good story here. Taking Danny’s arm away from him is becoming cliché, but I like the way you handled it and your stats would have had me screaming if you didn’t write that style of match. The only thing I would have done differently is had Toxxic sell the left-armed enzuilariato as less effective. It is, after all, his nondominant arm, and what’s the point of taking out the right arm to eliminate offence if the left can do it just as well? Still, thoroughly impressed, and if this was WWE I’d compliment Danno on giving Toxxic the Rub. Toxxic/Spike promo - Does what it needs to do. Boiler Room Brawl for the ICTV Title: Landon “La Cucaracha” Maddix vs. Jamie Drazon - Maddix is such a wuss. I love it. Solid comic match, playing off Landon’s wussitude and Drazon’s hradkorosity. Excellent stuff. Tom Flesher (soon to be ©) vs. Johnny Dangerous - I like to think I told a good story here, so I was a little disappointed that Dace glazed over the double stomp in the finish (which was sort of the end of the ‘anything you can do, I can do better’ story in the match). I had some fun writing this, and Johnny was pleased with how I handled the character… so all in all, I hope this went over well.

I'm shocked more people aren't predicting Tom and Landon to win with a double bootscrape.

Bizzump. Can we get this fucker cleaned and updated?

Back in your cage, rookie.

Did I say win? I meant drop.

Or someone I'd want my children near. Wait, that's Michael Jackson.

But at least give some freaking notice instead of no-showing three out of every four shows. *longs for the days people actually felt bad about no-showing* Landon, you're not allowed to get nostalgic until you win ICTV. Sorry. Fed rules.

Ki also isn't a psychological wizard.

Well, the crotch stomp was also usually early enough in the match that the Sharpshooter wasn't going on. There's a significant difference in the difficulty of applying the Sharpshooter and stomping on the guy's testes a la NotJ. Which is why it would sometimes make sense, if you're using a full-flipping German (270-degree rotation, victim goes from feet over to stomach) as a finisher, to hit a regular German instead. Theoretically, it takes more strength/energy/ability to hit a 270 German than a regular one. Using a regular German could, in the right context, be a proper decision to buy the attacking wrestler some time to recover, or as a more conservative choice in a match where the attacking wrestler is going lower-risk and trying to accumulate damage. :: gets off soapbox ::

Very minor addendum, and one I'm guilty of violating: Why would you have more than one big move executed from the same position? If you're (let's just say for argument's sake) using a backdrop driver as a finisher, why the hell would you have an atomic drop anywhere in your stats? An atomic drop starts from a waistlock with the head ducked under the arm for leverage and proceeds into a lift. A backdrop driver starts from a waistlock with the head ducked under the arm for leverage and proceeds into a lift. There's almost no circumstance where it would be better to hit an atomic drop than to hit a backdrop driver, unless you're writing some sort of bizarre "work the spine, starting with the tailbone" match. Don't be a coccyx. Make your moveset consistent.

Several of these apply to me. I'm allowed. I'm grandfathered in. (Y)

Standard 8 PM deadline?

NTD stands for "No pants."

I like your three teams, Zed, but apparently I'm in the minority.

No Eel. Seriously. The Eel is the worst commentary character you could throw in there. He's a one-dimensional joke with an accent. It could go wrong on so many levels, and even the slightest ineptitude with commentary makes a totally one-dimensional character suck.

Ahhh, the Kingdome.

Isn't it usually the cruiserweights who hit 18 different head-drop variations in a match and kick out from each one. ...aren't I one of the guys around here who writes those matches? *shuts up* You can't apply logic to anything involving the Amazing Red. The point is, I had to come up with a justification for the rules I cribbed from WCW, so there.

Annnnnd, a refresher on Cruiserweight Rules:

Shockingly, lack of titles or descriptions has bred confusion! Dace/Janus is non-title, correct?