Ace309

Yeah, everyone's been real fucking unreasonable here. This thread's a disgrace or something.

[The numerous mentions of Hulk Hogan in reference to Danny's losing PPV match reminded me of another of Danno's epic losing matches, also for the SWF World Championship. The finish brought tears to my eyes. Originally posted here. MAIN EVENT SINGLES MATCH FOR THE SWF WORLD TITLE! “The Superior One” Tom Flesher© vs. “Deathwish” Danny Williams Description: Flesher is the very epitome of a fighting champion. Williams did the unthinkable on the last show by making the unflappable Neilsen TAP OUT. Well, that is the sort of gumption that gets title matches, by Gumby! These two men have more than a little history, but Danny Williams gets his chance to climb the mountain for the very first time on Lockdown! Rules: Standard rules, DQs, and countouts. Only the World Title is on the line, not the ICTV. Word Count: 6500 Send To: Suicide King] As we return from the commercial break, we find Danny and Williams in their corners waiting for the start of the match! Stevens: WOW, Those were greatest ring entrances I’ve ever witnessed in the history of our cherished sport! Riley: For once we agree on something, Stevens. I never seen so many parachuting Elvis impersonators in my life! Stevens: I’m still in shock from seeing Danny Williams ride a unicycle along a tight rope from the roof off the building down to the ring! Riley: How about Tom Flesher riding a horse driven gold plated chariot down the ramp while Phil Collins gave a tear jerking rendition of Princes of the Universes. DING! DING! DING! In no rush, Williams and Flesher remain in their corners while the excited crowd gives a rousing applause that keeps getting louder by the second. Taking their time, the two grapplers, not so much cautiously, but very calmly make their way to the center of the ring. Stevens: Here we go! Williams/Flesher, SWF World Title on the line! Riley: Oh boy, oh boy, I got a good feeling about this one, Stevens. I got a feeling that were about to see one of the greatest performances of all time, a performance that will once and for all prove to ignorant non-believers like you that Flesher is without question the greatest World Champion of all time! Overly confident as always, Flesher sports a very self assured smile as he eyes up his rather muscular opponent. His pre-match jitters now gone, Williams is cold and focused, staring holes through the cocky World Champion. Now in each other’s striking range, they began to dance around, bobbing their heads from side to side so they won’t be an easy target. Flesher’s hands are open, ready to throw some Shoteis, while Williams’ fists are tightly clenched for an elbow smashing good time. Acting as the aggressor, Williams lungs in at Flesher, who in turn, flicks out a Palm Strike... Smack! that finds its mark Danny’s cheek bone! The stinging blow momentarily stops Danny in his tracks, allowing Flesher to dance away to safety. Williams tries to keep up with Flesher, lumbering after him, but he walks right into another Palm Strike! Smack! This one wobbles Williams, forcing him to back up, and regroup. Flesher briefly departs from his Greco Roman stance, to give himself a golf clap or two, drawing some “boos” from the crowd. Stevens: Danny, looking to get inside so he can land some of his trade mark Elbow Smashes, but Flesher is keeping him at bay with his Shoteis. Riley: The elbow may have a lot more power than the shoe tie, but Flesher’s shoe tie has superior quickness and range. Stevens: Yes, the shotei is indeed an effective weapon. I believe Edwin Macphisto was the first SWF star to utilize the palm strike.... Riley: Sure, Macphisto may have popularized em, but Flesher perfected em. The grapplers resume their fighting stances, and the circling commences. Williams gradually inches closer to Flesher with each circle, until he’s close enough to make his move! Bobbing and weaving like Mike Tyson in his prime, Williams dodges palm strike after palm strike, battling his way through Flesher’s defenses! Williams finally makes it inside, but before he can do anything, Flesher immediately ties him up with a front facelock. Using his huge weight advantage, Williams pushes his smaller adversary into the nearest corner in hopes of forcing a break. Not wanting to get caught in a corner, Flesher uses the front facelock to forcefully spin Williams around so that it is him who has his back to the turnbuckles. Soapdish steps in, and commands the wrestlers to break. Flesher cautiously releases Williams, and slowly backs up with his head down like he just wants to get out of there. Williams waits until Flesher is a couple of feet away, before finally lowering his hands. When all of a sudden, Flesher darts forward.... CRACK! slamming his Doc Marten into Williams’ face with a short range... Stevens: YAKUZA KICK! His numb face buried in his hands, Williams sinks to the floor in agony. Soapdish gives Flesher a warning, but he’s too busy golf clapping to care! “Booooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!”,echoes through the arena. Stevens: The crowd, showing their disdain for Flesher’s dirty tactics. Riley: And that’s why I stopped listening to these dumbasses a long time ago, Stevens. If there’s one thing I’ve learned during all my years here, it’s that clean breaks, don’t win matches. Stevens: While I do agree that the kick may give Flesher the advantage... Riley: Than it’s settled, Flesher did the right thing! Williams begins pulling himself up with the ropes, trying to shake off the effects of the unexpected strike. Flesher ceases his masturbatory celebration, and puts his game face back on. Once Williams is on feet, Flesher charges in.... SMACK! catching Danny under the chin with a nasty... Stevens: RUNNING SHOTEI! Flesher casually hoists the stunned challenger up, and sits him on the top turnbuckle. The fans jump out of their seats in shock as Flesher confidently climbs up on the second rope, and hooks Danny up in the Vertical Suplex set up! Stevens: HE’S GOING FOR THE BOILER MAKER ALREADY! Tom beat Danny with this in their first match back JL! Riley: I told you Danny didn’t stand a chance, Tom’s gonna take him out without even breaking a sweat! Flesher prepares to climb up on the top rope to complete his finisher, when all of a sudden, Williams swings his outside arm around, bruising the Champion’s ribs with a big forearm! Flesher buckles under the heavy blow, allowing Danny to land three more forearms! The body shots weaken Flesher just enough, so that Danny can slip his head out of the facelock, and bash Tom’s jaw with a hard Elbow Smash! CRACK! Knocked silly, Flesher free falls off the second rope, splattering on the mat like a raw egg! BOOM! Still standing, the crowd goes nuts as Williams climbs the rest of the way up, balancing himself on the top rope! Danny waits for his target to stagger to this feet, before diving head first off the top rope.... CRACK! scoring with a beautiful... Stevens: DIVING ELBOOOOOOOOOOOOOW! Once Williams hits the mat, he rolls to the far side of the ring, and hurries back to his feet. Williams leans deep into the ropes, waiting for Flesher to arise. Holding the side of his head and wincing, Flesher slowly climbs to his feet..... CRAAAAAAAAACK! only to get knocked over the top tope with a nasty Jumping High Kick! Stevens: DYNAMIC KICK! Williams takes hold of top rope with both hands, and squats low to the mat! Flesher groggily pulls himself up with the apron, just in time to see Williams spring board over the top rope at him! Flesher jumps to the side to avoid being crushed by the 245 pound challenger, but that’s just what Danny wanted! CRACK! Williams nails Flesher in the side of the head with an Elbow Smash as he glides down to the floor! Stevens: ELBOW PESCADO! Man, oh man, Danny Williams is breathing fire tonight! Both men are down on the floor, while the super hot crowd chants... “DAN-E!” BOOM! BOOM! “DAN-E!” BOOM! BOOM! Stevens: Perhaps under estimating Williams, Flesher attempted to take him out way too early, and now Danny is making him pay the maximum penalty for that error in judgement. Rather he likes it or not Flesher is in for a fight tonight! Riley: Williams better enjoy his run while he can, Tom’s been facing gorillas like TNT and Frost for so long, he’s just having some difficulty in adjusting his game plan for a smaller guy who can, gasp, actually move around the ring a little. Williams is up in no time, letting out a ferocious cry to the fans, showing them that he’s still fired up. Williams drags Tom up by his hair and tights, and tosses him on to the ring apron. Williams also climbs up on the ring apron, where he pulls Tom up by his hair, and tucks his head between his tighs in a standing head scissors! In almost disbelief as to what their seeing, the fans work themselves up into a frenzy! Stevens: WHAT’S THIS, DANNY IS GONNA TRY TO POWERBOMB FLESHER OFF THE RING APRON! Williams knows he’s got Tom hurt, so he’s gonna try to take him out for good while he’s got a chance! Riley: THERE IS NO WAY IN HELL, THIS IS GONNA HAPPEN! Stevens: Why not? Riley: Because it just can’t! Starting to break a sweat, Williams takes a couple of deep breaths, and lifts! Stevens: WELL, IT’S GOING TO! The crowd nearly has a cornea, but to their disappointment, Flesher hangs on to the ropes with his inside arm, preventing Danny from completing the lift! Determined to pull the killer move off, Williams releases Flesher, and begins pounding Flesher’s back with forearms! Smack! Smack! Smack! Having beat Flesher into submission, Williams repositions him in the standing head scissors, prompting the crowd pump up the volume! Danny bends his knees, feels his air with lungs, and heaves....... Stevens: HERE WE GO AGAIN! Riley: OH I CAN’T WATCH! Flesher stubbornly hooks the rope again, pissing the crowd off to the third degree! As irritated as the fans and a tad bit more exhausted, Williams releases Flesher, but instead of letting the challenger pound him with forearms, Tom rises up, and smacks Williams with a Palm Strike! SMACK! Williams absorbs the blow, and draws back his arm for an Elbow.... SMACK! Flesher beats him to the punch with another Shotei, that leaves Williams’ reeling! Tom steps back, creating some distance between himself and Williams, and than lunges forward.... CRAAAAAAACK! caving Williams’ face in with a High Kick! Williams flops back on the apron, and rolls off, crash landing on the floor! His head killing him, Flesher un-glamorously enters the ring by dropping over the second rope, forcing Soapdish to start the count out for Williams, who is still agonizing on the floor. Stevens: Williams took a big risk, and went for the game winner, but now he may have lost control of the match. Riley: That aught to teach Williams for trying to take short cut through life. Stevens: Tom did the same earlier in the match, Riley. Riley: But that was completely different, the Champion can take short cuts, the challenger is the one that has to work his ass off. While Soapdish counts, Flesher gets up with a sigh, knowing much like everybody else that Danny will get back in the ring before the count of ten. Knowing he has to push the attack, Williams doesn’t bother shaking off the effects of the kick, he just gets up, and slides back into the ring. Williams hurries to his feet only to eat a standing High Kick from the Superior One! Crack! Instead of stopping the challenger like Flesher hoped, Williams shrugs it off, and plows forward, walking into another High Kick! Crack! His face going numb, Williams pushes onward, closing the gap between him and the Champion! Too close for Flesher’s comfort, he’s forced to back up in order to get off another High Kick.... that is caught! Williams sends the off balanced Champion to the mat with a powerful shove! Attempting to cover up his mistake with good old fashioned hustle, Flesher scrambles to his feet, but Danny has already capitalized, catching him as he gets up with a brain rattling Elbow Smash! CRACK! The sudden surge of pain freezes Flesher up, baiting Danny to throw another Elbow Smash... Swoooooooooosh! but Flesher ducks down behind Williams, catching him in a rear waistlock! Not waiting for Williams to throw one of his lethal elbows, Flesher lifts him off the mat, and drops to his knees, slamming Danny down on his ass! Stevens: Flesher, scoring with an waistlock takedown, taking Williams to the mat for the first tonight! Riley: The mat, that’s where Tom’s a viking! Flesher attempts to secure Williams in an amateur side waistlock, but Williams rolls over on his back before he can get it locked on! Improvising, Flesher covers Williams with a lateral press, but in a flash, the challenger grabs his arm and rolls over, reversing the lateral press into one of his own! In the blink of an eye, Flesher spins out from underneath Williams, and clamps on a front facelock! But Danny rotates out in seconds, reversing to his own front facelock! In that instant, Flesher slips out, putting Danny back in the facelock! Riley: Wow, look at em go! Stevens: The action is literally too fast to call! Williams grabs Flesher’s arm, twists out of the facelock, putting the Champion into a Fujiwara Armbar to a big pop from the crowd! Before Danny can properly straighten his arm out, Flesher rolls forward, slipping out of the submission hold! Not letting him get away, Williams blankets Tom with a lateral press! Unable to get out from underneath Williams this time, Flesher keeps his shoulders off the mat, linking his hands around the challenger’s head and arm in a Judo Guard! The brief pause in lighting quick mat action gives the fans a chance to give a brief ovation. Stevens: Flesher trying to hold Williams as close to his own body as possible, smothering Williams’ chances of landing a strike while he’s vulnerable on his back. Wanting to force Flesher out of his defensive guard, Williams begins rubbing his elbow and forearm in the challenger’s face! This proves to be a mistake as Flesher takes hold of Williams’ arm, and rolls him over into his own lateral press just as Danny did earlier! Williams attempts to roll out from underneath Flesher, but he finds himself trapped in an amateur waistlock! Moving quicker than the eye, Flesher transitions the waistlock into yet another facelock! Williams tries to pry the Champion’s arms off, but Tom’s got it applied perfectly and tightly. Stevens: And it seems that Flesher has finally came out on top, after a surprisingly competitive battle for position. Riley: I knew Tom could do it, Williams isn’t even in his league when it comes to technical skill. Hell, nobody is. Stevens: Tom is without question the best mat technician in the business today, but Williams held his own very well, and that can be seen as a victory in itself. Riley: Bah, symbolic victories mean nothing, it’s the real thing that counts, and right now Tom is in control. Both men are breathing hard and pouring sweat as Flesher works the facelock for all it’s worth, squeezing Danny’s head until it shakes like it’s going to pop. Knowing he’s not gonna get out on his own, Williams fights his way to a vertical base, and starts pushing his way towards the ropes. Not willing to give up his advantage just yet, Flesher swiftly releases the facelock, and takes Danny over with a Side Headlock! Riley: Flesher scoring another takedown, if this was the amateurs, he’d be racking up the points. As soon as they hit the mat, Williams brings his legs up, hooking Tom’s head, pulling him back into a head scissors! The fans leap out of their chairs with an explosion of cheers as Williams quickly sits up, and wraps his hands around Flesher’s wrists. Tom desperately clamps his hands together, preventing Danny from straightening his arm out! Stevens: DANNY, LOOKING FOR THE JUJI-GATAME! This is the same transition he used against Drazon at Battleground! Williams pulls his leg out form underneath Flesher, so he can sling it over his chest to complete the hold! But Tom brings his legs up, catching Williams’ left leg in a grapevine as he attempts to lower it on his chest! Disappointed, the fans find their way back to their seats. Riley: Damn, my Tom Flesher is a genius! He’s using two blocks on the Cross Armbreaker, that way if one doesn’t hold up, he still has an insurance policy. Despite his leg being stretched out to the side, Williams keeps hold of Tom’s arm, still hoping he can somehow lock on the hold that has brought him so much success. Taking a big risk, Tom breaks the guard, and uses his free hand to pop Williams in the face with Shotei! SMACK! The risk pays off, the palm strike knocks Danny off Tom’s arm, allowing the Champion to use both his arms to push Williams’ heavy leg off his throat! Tom slips his head out from under Danny’s leg, sits up, releases the grapevined leg, and than wraps both of Williams’ legs around his waist, putting himself in a rear body scissors to the puzzlement of the crowd! Tom rolls over on his upperback, forcing Williams on his stomach while the crowd “oh”s and “ah”s! The Champion releases Danny’s legs, sits up on his back in the rear mounted position, and applies a inverted facelock on the challenger! Stevens: SUPERIOR STRETCH BETA! SUPERIOR STRETCH BETA! Riley: I knew Tom was good, but that was even more god like than usual! That had to be one of the most incredible displays of counter wrestling that I have ever seen! He absolutely schooled Danny’s ass! Fading fast, Williams slowly starts scratching and crawling his way towards the ropes, trying to stay awake long to make the ropes! The crowd shows their support with a loud enthusiastic chant... “DAN-E!” BOOM! BOOM! “DAN-E!” Trying his damndest to keep the Dragon Sleeper properly applied, Flesher rides Williams like a pony as he sluggishly crawls on his hands and knees to the ropes. After what seems like an eternity, Williams makes the ropes! His arm to tired to hang on any longer anyway, Flesher releases the hold and rolls off Williams! The crowd applauds Danny’s heroic effort, however, he’s spent, and Tom knows it. Stevens: Williams may have made the ropes, but the Superior Stretch Beta did it’s job by fatiguing Williams, extinguishing that fire that played such a key role in his early offense. Tom drags his drowsy victim up by his tights, applies a rear waistlock, and throws him over head! CRUNCH! Williams lands grotesquely the back of his skull, folding him all the way over on his stomach! Stevens: GERMAN SUPLEX! DANGEROUS GERMAN SUPLEX! Glassy eyed, Williams raises his head up, and nervously twists from side to side like he has no idea where he’s at. Flesher crawls over to Williams, climbs on his back, and slaps on another Dragon Sleeper! Stevens: AND NOW TOM IS GOING RIGHT BACK TO THE SUPERIOR STRETCH BETA! Riley: All that work and Danny is right back where he started! The crowd doesn’t take to kindly to this, they began to rhythmically chant, “Flesher sucks!” over and over again! Tom really works the hold this time, jerking his head up and down from strain like he’s head banging! It isn’t long before Tom feels Williams grow completely limp, giving him the cue to release the hold, roll him over, and try the pin. Riley: TOM DID IT, HE PUT DANNY TO SLEEP! The fans watch on with their hearts in their mouths as Soapdish hits the deck, and starts the count! ONE! TWO! TWO1/2.... NO! Williams weakly kicks out, sparking the cheers of the crowd! Stevens: Not even two sleepers and a head drop can kill Danny’s fighting spirit! Starting to look a little frustrated, Flesher wipes his once pointy bangs out of his eyes, and returns to his feet with a sigh. After some careful contemplation, Flesher decides on the manner on which he will finish off Williams. Tom pulls the sleepy eyed challenger to his feet, and bends him down in a gut wrench, inspiring terror in the faces of the onlookers! Riley: IT’S TIME TO BUST DANNY’S EGO! Flesher takes a couple of deep breaths, and with all the power of his stocky upper body, powers Williams up off the mat... Stevens: HE’S GOT HIM UP! but Danny shifts his weight back, plants his boots back on the mat, and sand bags like a hippy protester being carried away by cops! Not giving up, Flesher strains to get the heavy challenger back off the mat, but Williams won’t budge! Desperate to escape this predicament, Williams stands back up, dips his head underneath Flesher, and raises his torso up, tossing Tom off with a Back Body Drop! Williams collapses to his hands and knees from exhaustion, while Flesher is slow to get back to his feet. Upon seeing Williams in the vulnerable position, Tom scrambles on top of him, going for another mounted Dragon Sleeper! Stevens: Danny wasn’t weak enough for the Ego Buster, so he try to wear him down some more with that Superior Stretch Beta. Riley: Brilliance, sheer brilliance! Williams won’t cooperate this time, grabbing Flesher’s wrist, holding his arm off his face, blocking the inverted facelock! Both men are just pouring sweat as they take turns trying to over power the other, but neither gets anywhere! His strength returning to him, Williams starts to gain the upper hand, powering his way back to a vertical base. Williams releases Flesher’s hand, spins around, and clocks him with a cringe inducing Elbow Smash! CRACK! Flesher sucks it up, and answers with an equally hard Shotei! SMACK! Williams wobbles, but manages to return fire with some nasty Elbow Smashes! CRACK! CRACK! CRACK! Having enough of this ass kicking, Tom drives Williams back into the ropes with several stiff jabbing Palm Strikes to the chest! Flesher takes the red chested challenger by the wrist, and shoots him off the ropes, but Williams hangs on, reversing the Irishwhip! Flesher hits the ropes, and comes speeding back at Williams’ against his will.... CRAAAACK! running right into a sickening High Kick! Stevens: BIG BOOOOOOOOOOOT! Out on his feet, Flesher is left wobbling in place, while Williams drifts back into the ropes, and comes rocketing back....... SMAAAAACK! tearing Tom’s head off with a vicious... Stevens: WESTERN LARIAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT! The now super hot crowd counts along with Soapdish! “ONE!” “TWO!” NO! Tom kicks out to the despair of the crowd! Staying focused on the prize, Williams sits Tom up, and traps him in a Sleeperhold! His brain losing more and more oxygen by the second, Tom hauls ass to the ropes! Williams releases Tom, and helps his groggy opponent to a vertical base. Williams pops Tom with a couple of elbows for good measure, takes hold of his wrist, and whips him off the ropes! Williams rushes to the center of the ring, catching Tom on the rebound in another.... Stevens: SLEEPER! but Tom flips Williams over his shoulder with a Japanese Armdrag! Keeping a hold of Williams’ arm, Tom drops back, scissoring the challenger’s head and arm! Stevens: TRIANGLE CHOOOOOOOOOOOOKE! Being choked out by his own arm, Williams face starts to turn purple from a severe lack of air! Flesher squeezes with all his might, leaving Danny fearful for his life! Riley: DANNY’S GONNA TAP OR TOM IS GONNA KILL HIM! Holding his breath, Williams scoots his way to the ropes, managing to get a boot on them! Stevens: HE MADE THE ROPES! Acting fast, Tom unwraps his legs from around the gagging challenger, and drags him up by his arm! Flesher leads Williams to the center of the ring, where he ducks his head down under Danny’s arm, and links his hands around his waist! Knowing what this means, the fans cry out in horror! Stevens: Tom setting Williams up for the DANGEROUS BACKDROP! Tom bends his knees, and lifts Williams up.... Riley: Look away children, this isn’t gonna be pretty! but Danny starts driving sharp elbows down into Tom’s exposed neck! The pain is paralyzing, forcing Flesher to set Williams down, and release him! Now free, Williams murders Tom with a brutal 1-2 Elbow Combo! CRACK! CRACK! CRACK! Tom is left in a stupor, giving Danny all the encouragement he needs to spin in place, and.... CRAAAAAAAAAACK! level the World Champ with a barbaric Rolling Elbow! The fans blow the roof off the place as Tom spirals to the mat like someone who just took a gun shot to the head! Stevens: THE CHAMPION IS OUT, THE CHAMPION OUT! Williams promptly covers Flesher, tightly hooking his legs for the pin! Stevens: HERE’S THE COVER, IT’S OVER, DANNY WILLIAMS HAS DONE IT! The crowd of course, screeches along.... “ONE!” “TWO!” “THREEEEEEEEEE!” NO! Flesher shoots a shoulder, drawing a collective sigh from the crowd! Riley: Flesher isn’t no Jamie Drazon or Ced Ordonez that will lay down for an Elbow, Williams is gonna have to pull something bigger than that out of his hat if he wants the World Title! It isn’t long before the fans cheering again as Williams drags Flesher up by his hair, and stuffs his head down in a standing head scissors! Williams links his hands around Tom’s stomach, starts summoning his power for the big move! Stevens: WILLIAMS, POSITING TOM FOR THE POWERBOMB! Riley: Wow, we haven’t seen Danny use that in a while. Stevens: Not since From the Fire, has Danny attempted it, but tonight it maybe Danny’s only hope for the upset! While the crowd erupts all around him, an exhausted looking Williams squats low to the mat, and than lifts...... Stevens: POWERBOOOOOOOOOOOOM...NO! Just Williams gets Flesher lifted upside, The Champion breaks the waistlock, and drops back on his feet in front of Danny! Not giving Danny time to react, Flesher kicks him in the gut, doubling the challenger over! Tom almost instinctually spins around, ties Williams’ arms up in an inverted double underhook, and sits out! Stevens: UNPRETTIER! UNPRETTIER! Riley: Like Williams’ ugly ass was ever petty anyway! Still feeling the effects of the Rolling Elbow, Flesher remains seated in a stare for a few seconds before rolling Danny’s carcass over, covering him for the pin. ONE! TWO! TWO1/2.... NO! Williams kicks out, igniting the crowd! Moving rather slowly, Flesher pulls Williams up by his tights, reaches around Danny, and crosses his arms on his stomach! Flesher flexibly arches back with a stunning bridge, slamming Danny’s upper back into the mat with the.... Stevens: STRAIGHT JACKET SUPLEX! Riley: Sexiest bridge ever! The crowd watches with their hearts in their mouth, while Soapdish starts the count.... ONE! TWO! TWO1/2.... TWO3/4.... NO! Williams somehow kicks out, breaking up the bridge! Stevens: WHAT WILL IT TAKE TO KEEP WILLIAMS DOWN? Riley: That’s the question that Flesher is gonna answer tonight. Breathing hard, Flesher lays on his back, looking completely burned out. Williams takes the opportunity to start rolling towards the ropes, but Flesher catches him by the tights, and forces himself to get up. Tom drags Williams up, slaps on a Gutwrench, lifts him up, and falls back, driving Dannys skull in the mat! CRUNCH! Stevens: EGO BUSTEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEER! Flesher covers Williams for what is sure to be the pin! ONE! Williams kicks out! His eyes wide, his mouth puffing, Williams climbs to his feet with clinched fists a waving! Riley: IMPOSSIBLE! Stevens: HE’S GETTING THAT ADRENALINE PUMPING! Looking like he shit his tights, Flesher starts hammering Williams with palm thrusts, but they have no effect! Williams sticks his finger in Flesher’s face, drawing a mega pop from the crowd! Flesher throws another Palm Strike, but Danny blocks it, and counters with a Big Elbow! CRACK! Williams drives Flesher back into the ropes, and whips him off! Flesher flies back, running right into the big White Boot of Danny Williams! Flesher wobbles around in a stupor, and Danny gives the raise the roof sign! Stevens: NOOOOO, THINK OF WHAT YOUR DOING DAMMIT! Riley: THERE’S NOW WAY HE CAN GET HIM UP! To the shock of everyone in the building, Williams scoops all 214 pounds of Tom Flesher off the mat, and slams him down while thousands of cameras go off! KA-BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM! Stevens: UNBELIEVABLE, DANNY WILLIAMS HAS BODY SLAMMED TOM FLESHER! Riley: THIS ISN’T POSSIBLE! Williams runs into the ropes, leaps damn near six inches off the mat, and brings a super stiff Leg Drop across Tom’s throat! The crowd is electric as Williams cover Tom for the pin! ONE! TWO! THREE! DING! DING! DING! Williams hops up, and pulls an American Flag out of nowhere! Williams waves it around the ring, while the crowd goes wild! Stevens: DANNY WILLIAMS IS THE NEW CHAMPION, GOD BLESS AMERICA! Riley: I’M GAY! Stevens: SO AM I!

Yeah, just whatever floats your boat. You can do a music video or something too, if you want.

Cut, cut. Judge, we can see your wristwatch.

Yeah, I remember them telling you not to use 2-ply. That's a load of... Well, anyways.

Hm... they never took care of the plumbing, then? Shit, I'm sorry to hear that.

Anyone remember that scene from Les Misérables, where the French Government claims the fallen revolutionary hero as their own to try to bolster their own cause? Yeah, me neither.

Wow, Maddix AND Drew! Happy birthday

Yes, Chris, please go ahead and write something. Don't make me bump the Tokyo X thread.

I call show-closer.

Oh, you were totally robbed.

Midjit.

And then there was the time that Kamen Roja came back from the dead...

Results crossposted here, here and here. EDIT: And here, only because they restrict us to one open thread and merge any extras.

I have nothing to add, but this is worth repeating.

So ... wait. By "anthropomorphic," you mean "big and human shaped?" And by "hybrid ferret/weasel," you mean "some sort of being consisting of Janus and Tom's DNA smooshed together?"

What a surreal article. I just have this vision of all the former Russians sitting around a table debating Reagan's legacy.

Ahh, sanity from the main event. Thank god.

9443. (Y)

Right, Danny. I can never remember if his big pre-World reign was the US or the ICTV. I do remember that he protested about winning the Best Champ award for the wrong one at the Genesis awards. :: scratches head and leaves ::

The proper usage is to bold Triple Crown Landon, Rando. And Clark taking the title in the ultimate blow-off of this feud is an excellent way to continue the USJL title's reputation of meaning mroe when it gets dropped than when the heel wins it. See also me, Ejiro, and some Japanese guy who was in the Clan.

(Y)

B to tha izzump

Internet rumors crossposted here and here.

- Rumor has it that there’s a hotel room booked in Moline, Illinois, under the name “Mr. and Mrs. Michael Craven!” Does this mean that the Nightmare will be wrestling a dark match, or even showing up on the pay-per-view? Only time will tell. - Despite problems wrestling with his demons, Jamie Drazon has been brought back for 13th Hour. This may or may not be a one-shot deal, but apparently he’ll be working in the most recent incarnation of the Jay Dawg gimmick, putting his martial arts skills at the forefront. Rumor has it that Danny Williams was pushing for Jay Dawg to be brought back in his “Drunken Master” incarnation and beat people with a sack of urinal pucks as an inside joke for some of the ‘smart’ fans, but Alex Zenon nixed it. - Austin Sly is none too happy about being left off the pay-per-view, and reports differ about whether he’ll be on television at all. The ones that make the most sense have him wrestling the main event on the Frost pre-show and then making a promo appearance on the pay-per-view telecast, perhaps as a guest commentator in the Cruiserweight match. - Tom Flesher has reportedly been holding “meetings” backstage with the participants in the Five Wounds match, explaining to them that the public image of the SWF is on the line and encouraging them to forget the comic nuances of the match and focus on sound wrestling. The competitors have reportedly been ignoring him. - Speaking of Five Wounds, rumor has it that Ann Onita was slated to play Ebony, but the higher-ups nixed it for fear that she’d be recognized. Instead, Aecas called in a favor, and his current significant other will likely be playing the part instead. - NTD is attempting to work his way back into the federation by abusing Austin Sly’s backstage relationship with Crow. Reports differ as to whether Crow gives a shit. - As expected, Kibagami has been delegated the task of mapping out the Last Man Standing match against Toxxic. This would normally fall to a road agent, but Kibagami has been involved in at least 17 other successful Last Man Standing matches on pay-per-view, and like the World War II bombing runs that Germany recycled for the strikes in Kosovo, the feeling backstage is, “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.” - Alan Clark and Landon Maddix are both training like crazy to get their cardio up for their epic Iron Man match on pay-per-view. Clark has been seen jogging the streets of Moline for nearly 120 minutes daily, pushing further and faster every day to make sure he’s ready. Maddix’s training regimen remains secret, but fans have reported that Megan Skye must be helping with the workouts, as they’re often seen emerging from the sauna together, drenched in sweat and clad in towels. - Finally, from the media front: Mr. Galatea has been reported as having a guest host role on “Open Mike with Mike Bullard,” one of Canada’s top-rated late shows; the hope is that he can pull Canadian fans away from Letterman and Leno and get them to watch Canadian content. The Guy Lombardo Bridge will be sitting in as his band. Ace Lezaire, meanwhile, has been contacted by Law and Order: Special Victims Unit for a one-shot guest role. If the show, in which he’s slated to play a pedophile, goes well, he may be brought back as a recurring character. Credit: HotPandaLuv.net