Ace309

Any particular reason you buy HTM's story instead of Foley's? HTM's been trashing everyone online just to get his name back in the fans' heads, and when (iirc) Lawler complained, he just said he was "trying to start an internet angle." Since then, everything he does has been shameless self-promotion, as far as I'm concerned. Besides, have you read Foley's second book? He mentions the legal department hassling him over everything he says, using his phrase "genitalactic freak of nature" for Scorpio as an example. I doubt they'd have let him go over Jake if it wasn't at least something that was assumed or accepted in the back.

Yes! YES! I wholeheartedly support returning to the Kingdome in Fargo, North Dakota!!!!

Jobber to the Flesher, clearly.

[i've already gotten feedback from TNT on this, so really it's just for posterity. For the record, TNT's reason for marking Dace's win was essentially that, while he liked both matches, he preferred the way Dace's finish played out. I enjoyed writing the match and it was an interesting stip because every time I went back and re-worked something early in the match, I had to rethink the score. I know that's supposed to be the way it is with any match, but the point system made it much more concrete. Comments welcome.] The Target Center is silent as the fans await the main event, as foreshadowed by Cyclone Comet’s rules primer on the UWFi system. Finally, after several seconds… An explosion of blue pyro and smoke lights up the arena, and Led Zeppelin’s “Kashmir” begins to blare over the speakers! The smoke clears, and Tom Flesher walks out in his blue warm-up suit. Next to him is Allison Onita, dressed in dark jeans, a white t-shirt and a dark denim jacket. She escorts him through the smoke and they walk forward together, fireworks going off in the background. As Allison escorts Flesher, the fans boo them both loudly. Flesher simply shoos them off with a flick of the wrist, and they enter the ring together. The pair strikes a pose, Flesher holding his chin and smirking, Onita curling up against him so close that it’s hard to tell where one stops and the other begins. The music fades, and Funyon begins his announcement. “Ladies and gentlemen, the following matchup will be contested under UWFi rules. The winner will be the first wrestler to accumulate 15 technical points, make his opponent submit, or knock his opponent out! It is match four in a best-of-five series! The first comepetitor, accompanied by Allison Onita… from Buffalo, New York, and weighing in at 231 pounds, he is ‘the Superior One,’ TOM FLESHER!!!!!!!!!!!!” Flesher poses, prompting the fans to boo loudly. He shoos them away, sneering, as Allison helps him strip off his wamup suit. He grins and kisses her lewdly as she exits the ring, then begins stretching out as his music fades. “And his opponent…” The fans begin to cheer immediately. “Hero” by Nightrage kicks up over the speakers, and the fans burst into cheers. The shredding guitar harmonies rock the arena and the beats blast while the ramp lights up with white pyro! The crowd chants, “DACE F’N NIGHT! DACE F’N NIGHT!” as the High Priest of Horrorcore steps out of the curtain and walks through the smoke and pyro to an enormous pop. His “Protected by Satan” shirt shows as he steps into the spotlight. He throws the metal horns, extending his index finger and pinkie, and the fans return the gesture. “From Birmingham, England, and weighing in at 252 pounds… he is the High Priest of Horrorcore… he is DACE…” The crowd shouts, “FUCKING!” “NIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT!” Dace walks to the ring, then slides in. He climbs the turn buckle, once again throwing the horns. Again, the fans return the gesture. Dace climbs down, and as his music fades, the “DACE F’N NIGHT!” chants continue. Referee Ced Ordonez points to both wrestlers and calls them to the center. “And we’re ready to go, Robert!” says Cyclone Comet. “Let’s get this one underway!” DING DING DING!!!! Ordonez motions for the wrestlers to come to the center. Flesher and Night circle each other in the ring, each man in an unusually defensive stance. Flesher stutter-steps toward Dace, and the High Priest of Horrorcore quickly shuffles backwards to avoid the telegraphed takedown. Flesher nods, seeing that his opponent is well-prepared for the rigors of point-fighting. “You’re going to see a lot of this tonight,” Riley says. “These guys know that points come in handfuls if you’re not careful. One misstep and your opponent throws you for three or four points, maybe even a bonus for the lift, and all of a sudden you’re down 5-0.” The wrestlers shuffle a little more, each man looking for the edge that will put him in early scoring position. Night reaches out, trying to pull Flesher into a lockup where his size and strength will allow him to take the early lead. Flesher, on the other hand, takes a step back and whack Night’s thigh with a stiff kick! Night tries to back away, but Flesher grabs his arm and holds him as he unloads a triplet of quick, surgical strikes to the thigh! Dace tries to back away, but Flesher angles toward him and continues the attack! Dace throws an elbow, but the strike goes wide as Flesher continues pounding his thigh, until Night finally backs into a corner! Ced Ordonez immediately dives in between the wrestlers, calling for a break. “Tom’s taking control early,” says Riley. “You’ll note that he’s attacking from the outside, so Dace isn’t going to be able to hook him for a dragon screw, and that even if Night’s able to avoid the kicks, it doesn’t put Flesher’s leg in position to be attacked. Brilliant!” The wrestlers restart in the center. Flesher reaches up and initiates a collar-and-elbow tie that Dace willingly steps into. The two competitors begin cautiously jockeying for position. Flesher reaches across and grabs Night’s elbow, trying to pull it across his chest and open up a pinned-arm bear hug, but Dace pulls it back and raises his arm slightly. Flesher sees the opening and drops to one knee, trying to duck under Dace’s arm, but the Birmingham native takes a step back and blocks Flesher on his knee. Flesher, realizing that he’s in bad position, backs away, prompting a round of applause from the crowd, and then steps in, motioning for another collar-and-elbow. “Flesher and Night are feeling each other out,” Riley says. “Tom knows where he can get the advantage when he needs it, but he wants to make sure that he can hit the big throws when he needs to.” “He’s not having much luck with those,” notes Comet. “Flesher may end up being a one-trick pony in this contest, lacking the necessary diversity to make the scores he needs to when he must.” Dace obliges, leaning forward for the collar-elbow, but instead Flesher drops down and goes for a double-leg takedown! Night sprawls back, his reflexes in top condition, and hooks Flesher in a front facelock! He then steps in, pops his hips and arches his back, throwing Flesher head-over-heels! Flesher lands on his back as Night rolls through, and Ordonez holds up three fingers! The scoreboard lights up, “NIGHT 3-FLESHER 0” as the crowd goes wild! “And there you have it,” Comet says. “A single misstep puts Flesher down 3-0, and with Night 20% of the way to a technical victory, Flesher now has to battle out of a deficit.” Flesher rolls to his knees and stays back, trying to clear his mind. Night, on the other hand, has a mental advantage and steps forward, hoping to keep the pressure on. Flesher, though, defends his right to a break by shooting a palm strike up and into Night’s jaw! Dace staggers back and turns away. Flesher shoots forward, hooking Night’s ankle between his knees and clipping the opposite leg out from under him! Orddonez holds up one finger, and the scoreboard reads “3-1!” “Flesher capitalizes on Night’s eagerness, taking him to the mat with a rear leg takedown!” Riley gushes. “Superior technique by the Superior One!” Flesher crawls up Night’s body, keeping Dace’s thigh pinned between his knees. He switches off to a hammerlock, but Night immediately begins moving to the ropes. He reaches out and grabs the rope. Ordonez ducks in and calls for a break, and Flesher backs away. Flesher and Night restart in the center, both cautious. The former World Champion steps forward, and Night steps back. Flesher circles toward his left leg, then feints toward it. Night kicks the leg away, setting himself slightly off balance. Flesher pivots behind him and hooks his planted leg, sweeping it out from under him and securing another takedown worth one point! “Flesher’s bringing it back, getting it to 3-2,” says Riley. “He may have gotten caught once, but his solid fundamentals are going to win him this match.” “That’s a risky proposition,” notes Comet. “He can win scoring a point or two at a time, but if Night is getting three or five at will, Tom’s going to take a beating as he gives up the big scores.” On the mat, Flesher crosses Night’s legs, keeping him in position as he crouches and hooks his arms around his waist. Night struggles as Flesher tries to hoist him for a German suplex and a lift point. Night hugs the mat. Flesher lifts him a few inches, but Night quickly somersaults forward in a Granby roll that breaks him free! Before he can turn back around, though, Flesher recovers and shoots forward, snagging Night’s ankles from behind once again! He crosses his arms, one ankle in each elbow, and yanks backwards, sending Dace spilling back onto his face! Ordonez awards one point for the takedown as Flesher covers Night’s hips to keep him in place. “Flesher evens the score 3-3, and he’s showing solid technique, not relying on big throws he can only hit once,” Riley says. “I’d say Flesher’s developing quite the mental advantage here.” Night sits up, trying to reverse the positions. Flesher stays tight behind him, hooking his left arm and starting to bar it out. Night takes advantage of the position and starts a switch. As soon as Flesher feels the reversal start, he steps back and gets to his feet. Night escapes, but without any points. Flesher steps in, though, making sure not to give Night any time to regroup, and throws a palm strike. Night slips to the side, and Flesher barely grazes him before eating an elbow! The crowd cheers as Flesher staggers backwards, stunned. Night reaches up and hooks the back of his head, then pulls him forward into a front facelock! “Night is in a particularly fecund position,” Comet says, “as any number of scoring techniques originate here.” “Well there’s no need to be foul, Comet.” Night pulls Flesher in closer and then sprawls back, trying to drag Flesher down and spin behind for a two-point takedown. Flesher, though, throws his arms forward and backs out of the headlock, leaving Night pathetically on his stomach! Before Night can get back up, Flesher drops down and hooks a reverse waistlock, prompting Night to wriggle like a fish out of water to avoid getting dumped on his head with the Ego Buster and knocked out this early on! “COME ON, TAAMO!” shouts Riley. “End this one fast!” “Just like Night took him out in the Hardcore match?” muses Comet. “Oh, come on! That was just an abuse of the rules.” Flesher lifts him about a foot off the mat, but quickly gets pulled head over heels as Night hooks his far arm and rolls across his hip! Flesher gets pulled over the hip and thrown onto his back, with Night rolling on top of him and covering! Ordonez holds up one finger, awarding Night a point for the roll! “Rolling arm takedown by Dace Night,” notes Comet. “That was simply a Peterson roll with Flesher facing in the opposite direction, and quite the technique on Citizen Night’s part! The score is 4-3.” Night rides parallel as Flesher scowls, angry that his finishing move was countered so perfectly. Dace grounds him, mounting him in a schoolboy holddown, whereas Flesher responds by fighting into the judo guard position. He wraps his legs over Dace’s hips, looking to grapevine the legs. Night, however, doesn’t give a damn. He simply throws an elbow that totally rocks Flesher! Tom’s eyes glaze over, but he quickly recovers and begins scooting backwards. Night throws another elbow that nearly puts Flesher out, but the Superior One makes it to the ropes! Night stays on top of Flesher, but Ced Ordonez quickly drops in and forces a break by getting between Flesher and Night. The shaken Flesher stays on the mat, and Ordonez begins counting! The crowd goes wild! ONE! TWO! THREE! Flesher shakes his head and grabs the ropes, pulling himself to his feet. Even as he stands, Ordonez blocks him off and continues for the standard standing eight-count. FOUR! FIVE! SIX! SEVEN! EIGHT! Ordonez steps away, and Flesher moves forward. “Did you see that?” marvels Comet. “Night gets not only the first score of the match, but also the first count! Flesher was nearly out!” “He was up at three!” spits Riley. “Come on!” Center-mat, Night grabs him in a collar-and-elbow tie, trying to power him to the mat. As he tries to snap Flesher down, Night steps back. Flesher hooks his left arm and quickly pivots, dropping to his knees and pulling Dace over his shoulder with an ippon seionage! Night hits the mat hard on his back, prompting Ordonez to award Flesher one point for a front arm takedown! “4-4! It’s all tied up!” squeals Riley, gloating about the takedown. Flesher stands up, though, and bars the left arm! He hooks Dace by the head and tries to lock on a reverse facelock to complete the stretch plum, but the Hardcore Goth is able to peel Flesher’s arm off and spin out to face him! The fans applaud, but before Dace can initiate anything of his own, Flesher steps forward and rocks him with a palm strike! Dace staggers back, leaning against the ropes. Ced Ordonez steps in for the break and forces Flesher back. He waits for Dace in the center of the ring, and as Horrorcore steps forward, Flesher throws another palm strike! Dace slips his head to the side, though, and avoids the blow! Then, he throws an elbow forward and absolutely hammers Flesher with the strike! Flesher staggers backwards, but Night follows him in and nails him with a second elbow! Finally, he slams his elbow down over Flesher’s head, and the Superior One collapses to the mat! The crowd explodes as Ced Ordonez begins his count! ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR! Flesher very slowly gets up, leaning on one knee. FIVE! SIX! Finally, he gets up. Ordonez finishes the standing eight-count before allowing Flesher to continue. SEVEN! EIGHT! Finally, Flesher steps forward, still shaken but able to continue. “Dace Night is showing his versatility,” says Cyclone Comet. “He’s made a big score, he’s made a small score and he’s gotten Flesher down for two standing eight-counts. I can’t see how Flesher’s single-point scores can keep up with this level of impact.” With the scoreboard reading “NIGHT 4 – FLESHER 4,” the former World Champion appears shaken. Night takes advantage of that by stepping in and throwing another elbowsmash, hoping to knock Flesher down again and hopefully pick up the easy KO. Flesher, though, knows what’s coming. As the elbow swings toward him from his left, he shuffles to his right. Night steps forward, trying to keep his balance, and Flesher unleashes another assault on Night’s left quadriceps! Night absorbs some of the punishment, and as Flesher throws another kick, he circles away from the blow and into Flesher’s opposite side. There, he throws an arm around Flesher’s ribcage and steps forward, locking on a bearhug! The fans cheer as he starts to arch back, but Night can’t complete the belly-to-belly throw! Flesher hooks a leg around his thigh, and rather than go to his back and give up four points, Night abandons the suplex and releases Flesher! “Dace Night knows what works,” says Comet, “but he also knows better than to force what won’t. Besides giving up four points for the suplex counter, Night would have ended up on the mat with Tom Flesher, which is not where he wants to be at this point.” “Or any point,” Riley says. “Tom Flesher is the premier mat wrestler in the SWF, and it’s foolish to put yourself at that kind of disadvantage without a fight. Frankly, I’m surprised Dace isn’t just running from Flesher now.” Tom’s feet hit the canvas, and he quickly regains his balance. He clamps down on Dace’s arms, making sure the Hardcore Goth can’t get away. Then, he adeptly kicks one foot out and twists to the side, trying to sweep Dace’s legs out from under him! Dace, though, kicks his leg back, avoiding the sweep to the crowd’s applause! “Flesher tries to sweep Dace off his feet,” Comet says, “but sadly, is rejected as he attempts a two-point leg takedown.” “Comet, I don’t think there’s any need for that sort of innuendo on this show.” “Sadly, Robert, we just wouldn’t be the same without you.” Flesher lets Dace’s arms go, as he tries to regain his balance. Night pulls back and slams into him with a double-leg takedown! Flesher, though, sprawls back and covers his head, locking on a front facelock! Before Dace can recover, Flesher underhooks his arm and attempts a Cement Job, looking to make up for the two points he missed on his footsweep! Night, though, circles around and drives forward, slamming a shoulder into Flesher’s ribs. Then, he arches back, throwing Flesher to his shoulders with a beautiful Northern Lights suplex! Ordonez holds up three fingers, and the scoreboard lights up at 7-4! “Three-point Northern Lights suplex!” shouts Comet. “Dace Night and Tom Flesher engage in a fabulous counter-wrestling sequence, but like the others, this one ends with three points for JUSTICE~!” “You know, I’d really appreciate it if you didn’t make moral judgments, Comet. Just because your ideas are framed by your childhood wish to be a superhero doesn’t mean Dace Night is fighting for good. I mean, the man likes to be whipped by his girlfriend. That’s not right.” Night rolls through and gets to his feet as Flesher shakes off the blow and starts up. Before he can get to his feet, Night swings an elbow out and nails him in the jaw! Flesher stumbles back, seemingly unsure even where he is. Dace continues his relentless assault, slamming into Flesher with a double-leg takedown! Flesher loses his balance and falls… back into the ropes! He leans against the cables, trying to stay on his feet, and Ced Ordonez breaks the two apart! The fans boo as Ordonez waves off any score, and Flesher stumbles forward. He’s clearly in no shape to fight back, and as he steps in, Dace effortlessly ducks under him and spins him around, bracing his head under Flesher’s arm. Then, with an explosive back arch, he throws Flesher back! He pops his hips and spikes Flesher onto the crown of his head, slamming him into the mat with a sickening backdrop driver! “BACKDROPPAH~!” screams Comet, as Ordonez holds up four fingers! The scoreboard flashes “NIGHT 11-FLESHER 4” as Tom lays face-down on the mat. He pushes himself up, looking very, very shaken, and then falls flat again! Ordonez begins counting, and this time, the fans count along! ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR! Flesher begins to get to his feet, moving very slowly. FIVE! SIX! SEVEN! EIGHT! Finally, he gets back up, and Ordonez moves out. Flesher shakes his head, trying to loosen the cobwebs. Instead, he gets Dace Night charging at him, trying to keep the pressure on. Flesher backs away, leaning against the ropes, as Night swings an elbow at his head! Flesher ducks, avoiding the elbow, and steps in to grab Dace’s knees to go for a double leg. Night arches back, shoving Flesher away to keep from being taken down. Flesher shoots forward again, trying desperately to get any sort of score to make up the 7-point deficit! Night, though, simply shuffles backwards. Frustrated, Flesher starts to stand up, but locks his arms higher, around Dace’s hips. From there, with Night a foot off the mat, Flesher spins to the side and throws Dace head-over-heels into a cartwheel motion! Night, falling completely out of control, lands on his side and collapses, the wind knocked out of him! Ordonez holds up three fingers, and Night rolls to his stomach, completely out of commission! “Beautiful!” marvels Bobby Riley. “Flesher digs into those grappling skills and busts out a Greco-Roman-style high dive and throw! He shows complete and utter disregard for Dace Night’s safety and scores three, because that wasn’t a leg takedown – it was a suplex all the way!” “Flesher’s technique is good, indeed,” says Comet, as the scoreboard lights up “NIGHT 11-FLESHER 7.” “Still,” he says, “the energy required to execute that hold may have taken the starch out of Flesher.” “Well, you have to remember,” Riley says, “after that ridiculous hardcore ‘match’ last week, Flesher’s at a disadvantage. It’s not RIGHT, but he is, and so he has to pull out all the stops to win this match and force match 5 at 13th Hour. He’s going to win the series – you know it, I know it, and the American people know it – but he’s got to take every risk in order to prove it to this awful anti-Flesher bias in the office.” “What are you talking about? Flesher attacked Night, and Night defended himself!” “A ha, but would he have made that attack if Dace hadn’t angled for a hardcore match in the first place? I think not, Comet.” Night, still stunned by the out-of-nowhere cartwheel throw, is easy prey as Flesher drops down and tries to hook him around the waist for a gutwrench lift. Once again, he gets Dace a few inches off the mat, but this time Night’s hook of Flesher’s arm is telegraphed and he can’t roll for his one-point takedown. Flesher sees it coming and simply drops Dace back onto the mat. Before the Brummie Goth has a chance to get up, Flesher drops down onto his back and reaches down to grab his chin. As he hooks the head, he sits back, locking on a camel clutch! The fans boo as Flesher leans back, increasing the pressure of the hold. “And there’s Flesher, capitalizing on his techniques,” says Riley. “He hits a cartwheel throw and he’s right there to slap on a camel clutch. Talk about synergy! He’s not just trying to score or get the submission, he’s hedging his bets by looking for both of them.” “It would seem to me, Robert, that Flesher’s camel clutch is merely an attempt at getting a convenient rest break,” says Comet. Flesher’s chest heaves as he works for the submission, not only making Dace carry his 231 pounds but pressuring his neck as well. Night, though, quickly gets his wind back. He uses his strength advantage to crawl forward a few inches, even with Flesher pulling back on his neck. Night lunges forward, and Flesher merely goes along for the ride, focusing on trying to injure his neck. Dace reaches out, his fingers brushing against the bottom rope, and he finally manages to get one hand around it! The fans cheer, but Flesher quickly breaks up the party by backing up. He hooks Dace’s arms over his knees and slowly moves back toward the center. “Could this be it?” asks Riley, clearly pleased. “Is Tom Flesher going to get the submission here?!” Night grimaces, clearly in a lot of pain. However, he pulls his arms off Flesher’s legs and slowly begins crawling toward the ropes. The fans begin cheering him on, and in an instant, the whole Target Center is chanting “DACE F’N NIGHT! DACE F’N NIGHT!” “Oh, come on!” says Riley, more than a little miffed. “How can these fans cheer for Dace Night? Tom Flesher is clearly the better representative for this company!” “If he was the better candidate for number-one contender, Robert, why does Dace lead the series 2-1 and the match by 4 points?” “Oh, it’s just politics!” fumes Riley. Dace reaches out, nearing the ropes again. This time, he grabs the bottom cable and holds on for dear life! Flesher, realizing he’s not going to win this battle, stands up. Instead of breaking, though, he drops a knee into the middle of Night’s back! The crowd boos as Night releases the rope, and Flesher drags him back to center mat for another camel clutch. “Night’s right in the middle!” shrieks Riley, sounding like a spider monkey. “There’s no way he can get back to the ropes!” “DACE F’N NIGHT! DACE F’N NIGHT!” This time, instead of trying to crawl for the ropes, Dace is stationary. He tries to escape, but Flesher pulls Night’s arms back over his knees and sits back even further. Night grimaces, looking like he’s in utterly inhuman pain. Flesher simply leans back, hoping beyond hope that he can get the submission here. Suddenly…. “LOOK AT THAT!” screams Comet, as the crowd bursts into cheers! Night reaches around Flesher’s thigh and pulls it under his body, reversing positions and pulling Flesher to his back under him! Despite his fatigue, Dace lunges forward, throwing elbows at Flesher’s head! The Superior One immediately bails, moving for the ropes to avoid any further ground and pound action! “Flesher shows his cowardice,” says Comet, “by running to the sidelines as soon as he feels like he’s in danger. What despicable actions by Flesher, while Citizen Night is simply trying to compete on equal footing.” Flesher hits the ropes, covering his face to avoid being nailed with more of the stiff elbows that have put him down in the match. Frustrated, Dace backs away as Ced Ordonez calls for the break. Flesher backs away and collects himself as Dace scowls at him from the center. Flesher, for his part, merely steps into the center slowly, where Dace grabs him by the arm and tries to pull him into a short-arm elbow strike! Flesher avoids the elbow and responds with a sucker palm strike that sends Dace’s head snapping backwards. He grabs the wrist of Dace’s arm and ducks down, locking it into a pumphandle grip between his thighs. From there, Flesher stands up and grabs the pumphandle wrist, then hooks Dace by the head and arches backwards! Night lands with a splat on the top of his head, then collapses into a heap on the mat as Flesher recollects his thoughts and Ordonez awards four points! “LOGICAL DISCONNECT!” shouts Riley. “ELEVEN-ELEVEN! IT’S ALL TIED UP!” “Flesher hits the Logical Disconnect,” concedes Comet, “but only after showing great lack of spine by avoiding any action that put him at a disadvantage.” “What, you’re saying he should step up when he’s getting beaten down just to be chivalrous? Comet, I thought you were smarter than that.” Flesher steps back, eyeing Night carefully. He looks up and sees the scoreboard, which reads “NIGHT 11-FLESHER 11.” He stays back, leaning on his thighs and watching Night get to his feet. As soon as Dace is up, Tom angles toward him, feigning a kick to the thigh. Dace steps back, but Flesher doesn’t attack any further. Rather, he simply watches to see how his opponent reacts. Night does the same, and they stay with their eyes locked for a few seconds. “Flesher and Night are both at the magic number, the 11-point threshold,” says Riley. “If your opponent has 11 points, then anything you do is potentially a four-point capture suplex that wins him the match. You have to be really careful, and that’s what we’re seeing here.” “Oh, super,” says Comet with a yawn. “Let me know when it’s over.” Dace throws an elbow, but Flesher steps back and avoids the strike. As Night recovers into his defensive stance, Flesher lets loose with another kick, this one in earnest. He slams the toe of his boot into Night’s thigh! Dace steps back, but Flesher kicks him again, keeping a safe distance back. “You’ll note,” says Riley, “that Flesher’s playing it safe again. He’s working smarter, not harder… he’s hitting his strikes, but the length of his legs keeps him way back out of Dace’s reach, especially the way that cocking the elbow shortens the arm. Really, you have to admire that kind of tactical attack.” Dace reaches out, trying to grab Flesher’s ankle as he kicks. Flesher retracts, though, and steps back to avoid getting caught. Dace steps in, and Flesher throws another kick. Dace swings his leg back, avoiding the blow… but Flesher side-steps toward him! With Dace off-balance, Flesher sweeps his leg out from under him, and the Brummie Goth falls to the mat, flat on his back! Ordonez holds up two fingers, and the scoreboard flashes 11-13! Before Dace can escape, Flesher dives onto him and assumes his own ground-and-pound position, throwing a shotei at Night’s face! From there, he throws a forearm across Dace’s windpipe, looking for the same sort of chokehold that he used in the submission match. “Flesher executes a picture-perfect legsweep, and then dives onto Night!” marvels Riley. “He wants to end this here and now!” Dace, though, covers up and begins scooting for the ropes. He doesn’t bother wasting energy trying to peel off the chokehold. He simply lunges for the ropes and grabs the bottom one with both hands, holding on for dear life as Ced Ordonez forces his way in between the two combatants! Frustrated, Flesher backs away. Night gets up, clearly still in pain from the chokehold, but makes it back to the center. Flesher steps back, ready to unleash another assault on his quad. This time, though, Night clamps down on his leg and pulls him, until he has Flesher’s knee clamped under his arm! Flesher panics, holding up his hands to beg off. Night, though, simply falls to the mat, executing a dragon screw leg whip to put Flesher on his back on the mat, and then diving onto him to ground and pound once again! Ordonez, meanwhile, awards Night two points for the takedown, evening things up at 13-13! The fans scream for Night as he tries to throw the elbows that will finally knock Flesher out once and for all! Flesher, though, posts his hands on Night’s head and pushes himself back. Night continues throwing his elbows, which Flesher absorbs in his midsection! He grimaces, obviously in pain, but can’t get to the ropes! “And in an instant,” says Comet, “Dace Night is back in control! Tom Flesher is trying desperately to avoid being knocked out, and his insides are being scrambled instead of his brains! Not much of a trade-off!” As Comet calls for Flesher’s untimely demise, though, the Superior One kicks his legs up, lifting Night a few inches off the mat. Night reaches down to post on the mat for balance, and Flesher responds by grabbing the wrist. He slides back and silences Dace for a moment with a kick to the head, then tries to wrap his legs around Dace’s neck and extended arm for a triangle choke! Immediately, Night backs out and tries to use his free hand to keep Flesher from scissoring his ankles. He gets to his knees and pulls back, realizing that he can’t grapple with Flesher. He pulls back, trying to allow Flesher a free escape and fresh start on his feet. Tom, though, keeps the pinned arm, and as Night gets to his feet, Flesher pivots and drops to his knees! He yanks Dace’s arm forward and executes an ippon seionage, then stands up behind him! Ordonez awards the arm-takedown point, bringing the score to Night 13-Flesher 14. Instead of going for another score, though, Flesher keeps the pinned arm and bars it out. He throws a leg between the seated Night’s thighs to keep him from spinning out and then clamps down on his head into a reverse facelock! The fans begin booing as Flesher secures the last element of the seated stretch plum! “Held Without Bail!” cries Riley. “Held Without Bail! Flesher hits the ippon seionage and grabs the stretch plum!!!!!” “Citizen Night, though, is unusually resilient,” says Comet. “Can he escape this hold? Can he make it to the ropes?” Night wriggles, trying to free himself from the airtight submission. He reaches out, trying to at least skim the ropes with his fingertips, but can’t. He’s locked in the center of the ring. He tries to move, but can’t. All he can do is feel the immense pain of the submission hold. Finally, the pain is too much. TAP! TAP! TAP! DING DING DING!!!! Ordonez steps in, forcing Flesher to break the hold as he waves his arms over his head. Flesher obliges, backing away with a satisfied smirk on his face. Allison Onita springs into the ring, running and hugging Tom. “Your winner, via submission, ‘the Superior One’ TOM FLESHER!!!!” Ordonez raises Flesher’s arm, and the crowd jeers at the top of its lungs. He looks out at the crowd and, as Dace Night scowls and rolls out of the ring, Flesher shoots them the finger. Allison does the same, prompting the standard “YOU SUCK COCK! YOU SUCK COCK!” chants. “Tom Flesher takes Match 4 by submission, evening the series at 2-2,” says Bobby Riley, “even though that’s grossly unfair and a ridiculous understatement of Flesher’s talent. Still, we’ve got word that these two will meet at 13th Hour in Match 5 to settle the series and determine the number-one contender to the SWF World Championship! The stipulation of that match will be announced next week!” “For now, though,” says Comet, “we have to take a commercial break. When we come back, Maddix and Janice take on Danny Williams and Alan Clark! Next!”

GET INTO CHAT, YOU FOOLS!

Edited for accuracy

Methinks the rookie doth protest too much. MAIN EVENT TAG TEAM MATCH Janus/Landon Maddix vs. Danny Williams/Alan Clark - Jaddix BEST-OF-FIVE SERIES UWF-i POINTS SYSTEM MATCH Dace Night (2) vs. Tom Flesher (1) - NP ENDLESS FOUR CORNERS MATCH The Masked Man vs. Ryan Dustin vs. Tryst vs. Jimmy Liston - Dustin. RETURN SINGLES MATCH Munich vs. David Blazenwing - Munchie TRIPLE THREAT FOR THE #1 CONTENDERSHIP TO THE ICTV TITLE Ace Lezaire vs. Mike Van Siclen vs. Johnny Dangerous - I dunno, folks, Johnny wants this one. SINGLES MATCH John Duran vs. Todd Cortez - Duran HARDCORE MATCH Toxxic vs. Insane Luchadore - Toxx SINGLES MATCH Jacob Helmsley vs. Austin Sly - Sly guy

It wasn't, actually. I didn't want to have an extremely strong finish, because it doesn't make sense following the solid, convincing loss in match one, and it would have felt a little like if Hunter had come out the next week and squashed the shit out of Shelton Benjamin... a squashy finish to "get my heat back." As it is, it might have come off that way anyway, but that was unintentional. I figured that something that might come off like that behind the scenes was the lesser of two evils in this case.

Hang on, I'm working on it.

Wacky Tag Partners Who Hate Each Other.

MAIN EVENT BEST-OF-FIVE SERIES, MATCH THREE OF FIVE HARDCORE MATCH "The Superior One" Tom Flesher (1) vs Dace Night (1) - NP SINGLES MATCH ICTV Title Match Janus© vs Alan Clark - Janus TRIPLE THREAT, TWO FALL MATCH USJL Title Bout Hardcore Title Bout Landon "La Cucaracha" Maddix© vs Mike Van Siclen© vs "Hollywood" Spike Jenkins - Clusterfuckin'. Landon's match wins. NO GRAVITY MATCH Crusierweight Title Bout Johnny Dangerous© vs Todd Cortez - Dangerous TAG TEAM MATCH Insane Luchador & Austin Sly vs Crow & Ryan Dustin - Crowdust SINGLES MATCH "The Notorious" John Duran vs Ace Lezaire - Duranistan SINGLES MATCH Edward James vs David Blazenwing - James

Total. Imagine a scoreboard or point system.

The guys at TheMatForums.com also set up a google bomb that put a Dan Gable biography at the top of the "Greatest Athlete" search.

I graduated college on May 8 with a BA, double major in Philosophy and Political Science (American Politics & Public Affairs concentration). My grad speaker, among several other, boring people, was John Walsh of America's Most Wanted.

I'd like to get some feedback on this. I know it was a risky style of match to write, which was intentional due to the nature of the best-of-five series unfolding. As I've said, though, I fully expected Dace to make this difficult for me. --- The Memorial Coliseum in Portland, Oregon, is electric with anticipation as the show returns from commercial. The crowd is littered with blue-and-white “Superior One” rugby shirts, and a few vintage Unholy Trinity cricket jerseys are still seen, but far more black Horrorcore shirts are seen. The fans’ signs – “I’m Here For Ultraviolence,” “I Bow to the High Priest of Horrorcore,” and “Good F’N Night, Flesher!” – show the level of the crowd’s partisanship. “Welcome back to SWF Lockdown!” says Cyclone Comet. “It’s time for our final match of the evening, the first in a best-of-five series between former World Champion, ‘the Superior One’ Tom Flesher, and up-and-comer Dace Night! Night has had one title shot, which was against Flesher in October of last year. Flesher won with an Ego Buster, but Horrorcore has improved drastically since last fall, especially under the training of former World Champion Danny Williams.” “You say that like it’ll make a difference,” says Bobby Riley, rolling his eyes. “Dace Night can improve all he wants. Hell, he can even rise to the top of the federation. He’ll NEVER beat Tom Flesher, because Tom Flesher is in a whole different league. If the World Championship puts you on a pedestal, Tom Flesher is the guy who’ll step on you on the way down for lunch.” “Whatever you say, Robert,” says Comet. “Tonight is, again, match one of five to determine the number-one contender to the World Championship. This match will be conducted under standard rules. Commissioner Alex Zenon has revealed the stipulations for matches two and three to be submission and hardcore, respectively. Tonight, these two will preview those matches here in Portland, Oregon, and one man will establish a lead for the series!” Funyon steps into the ring. He says, “Ladies and gentlemen, the following matchup is scheduled for one fall, and it is match one in a series to determine the number-one contender to the SWF… WORLD… CHAMPIONSHIP!” He pauses to allow the fans to applaud. “The first competitor, making his way to the ring…” “Hero” by Nightrage kicks up over the speakers, and the fans burst into cheers. The shredding guitar harmonies rock the arena and the beats blast while the ramp lights up with white pyro! The crowd chants, “DACE F’N NIGHT! DACE F’N NIGHT!” as the High Priest of Horrorcore steps out of the curtain and walks through the smoke and pyro to an enormous pop. His “Horrorcore 666” shirt is evident as he steps into the spotlight. He throws the metal horns, extending his index finger and pinkie, and the fans return the gesture. “From Birmingham, England, and weighing in at 252 pounds… he is the High Priest of Horrorcore… he is DACE…” The crowd shouts, “FUCKING!” “NIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT!” Dace walks to the ring, then slides in. He climbs the turn buckle, once again throwing the horns. Again, the fans return the gesture. Dace climbs down, and as his music fades, the “DACE F’N NIGHT!” chants continue. “And his opponent…” Immediately, the fans boo as the lights go out. An explosion of blue pyro and smoke lights up the arena, and Led Zeppelin’s “Kashmir” begins to blare over the speakers! The smoke clears, and Tom Flesher walks out in his blue warm-up suit. Next to him is Allison Onita, dressed for spring in a blue button-down shirt and a matching knee-length skirt. She escorts him through the smoke and they walk forward together, fireworks going off in the background. As Allison escorts Flesher, the fans boo them both loudly. Flesher simply shoos them off with a flick of the wrist, and they enter the ring together. The pair strikes a pose, Flesher holding his chin and smirking, Onita curling up against hiom so close that it’s hard to tell where one stops and the other begins. Dace Night, meanwhile, looks on with disgust. The music fades, and Funyon begins his announcement. “His opponent, accompanied by Allison Onita… from Buffalo, New York, and weighing in at 231 pounds, he is ‘the Superior One,’ TOM FLESHER!!!!!!!!!!!!” Flesher starts a golf clap for himself, but the crowd responds by an even mix of booing and chanting of “DACE F’N NIGHT!” Looking annoyed, Flesher turns to Allison. She helps him out of his warmup suit and slides out of the ring. Flesher stretches out, and as the two competitors come to the center, the official calls for the bell. DING DING DING!!!! The fans begin to cheer as Flesher and Night face off in the center of the ring. Flesher reaches up and initiates a collar-and-elbow tie that Dace willingly steps into. The two competitors begin cautiously jockeying for position. Flesher reaches across and grabs Night’s elbow, trying to pull it across his chest and open up a pinned-arm bear hug, but Dace pulls it back and raises his arm slightly. Flesher sees the opening and drops to one knee, trying to duck under Dace’s arm, but the Birmingham native takes a step back and blocks Flesher on his knee. Flesher, realizing that he’s in bad position, backs away, prompting a round of polite applause from the crowd, and then steps in for another collar-and-elbow. “Citizen Night, showing his agreement with the necessary Justice and Honor in the position of World Champion, manages to avoid Tom Flesher’s duck-under,” says Comet. “Clearly, the goodly Goth has been studying Flesher and sharpening his amateur skills to counter the Superior One’s style.” Flesher and Night struggle in the tie-up for a few seconds. Dace suddenly lowers his level and shoots toward Flesher, grabbing his knees for a double-leg takedown! Flesher cocks his right arm and plants the forearm in the crook of Dace’s neck, then sprawls back to keep his legs free. He blocks Dace on his knees, supporting himself on two feet and the forearm. With Dace in no position to go anywhere, Flesher reaches across his body with his left arm and plants it under Dace’s right shoulder. He releases some of the pressure, and Dace gets to his feet. As he does, Flesher pivots and slaps on a side headlock. Before he can cinch it, though, the Brummie Goth posts his hand on Flesher’s elbow and pushes him off, spinning Flesher around into another face-to-face standoff! Calmly, Flesher takes a step back and looks Dace over, nodding slowly. “As always, Tom Flesher stays in control of his emotions,” says Bobby Riley. “Flesher isn’t the type who’s going to get distracted or lose focus easily, even when someone like Dace Night prevents him from getting the upper hand early.” “While he may be best known as the High Priest of Horrorcore,” Comet adds agreeably, “Dace Night does have significant amateur experience, and his technique makes that evident. Although it’s easy to point to things like his suplexing prowess, Citizen Night has excellent positioning, as he’s just shown by keeping Tom Flesher from making his attacks. He’s making Flesher rethink his offense.” Flesher steps forward once again, and Dace reaches down for another collar-and-elbow tie. This time, though, Flesher leans back, declining the lock. Instead, he offers his right hand at knee-level, asking to start in a Greco-Roman knucklelock instead. Night obliges, taking Flesher’s hand and offering his. Flesher, though, brushes off Night’s right hand and ducks under his left arm, keeping the hand clasped. As he ducks, he adeptly twists, coming up behind Night with a hammerlock. Dace, defending in the classical manner, backs into Flesher to keep him from hyperextending the elbow. Flesher responds by releasing the hammerlock and dropping to the mat, trapping Dace’s left ankle between his knees! He drives his shoulder into Night’s left side and reaches around, picking his right ankle! Night collapses to his right hip, and Flesher dives onto him, wrapping his arms around his left thigh. Staying on Dace’s torso, Flesher keeps him on the mat, as Dace fights to get into a stable seated position. The fans look on, unsure of how to react to the display of conservative wrestling technique. “There we go,” beams Riley. “Tom Flesher’s a smart wrestler, Comet. He’s covering Dace’s hips, so he can’t escape, and keeping his options open.” Night scoots his hips back, pulling Flesher into an extended position. As Flesher tries to crawl back up the body, the High Priest swings an elbow down and, with surgical precision, plants it in Flesher’s brainstem! The fans applaud as Tom sprawls out briefly, going limp. Night takes the opportunity to rotate his hips out from under Flesher’s control and sprawl back, then snag Flesher in a front headlock! The fans call, “Ooooh!” as Night tightens the hold that Flesher has made his own over the past few months. Tom builds a base, coming to his knees and pushing into Dace. Night gets to his feet in good position to avoid going to his back. Flesher reaches across his body, calmly picks Night’s elbow, and pulls it across, dragging his way out of the front headlock. He keeps Night’s arm, his hands placed at the elbow and wrist in a two-on-one grip, and pushes him into the corner. There, Flesher looks up at Night and obediently breaks the hold. As he backs away, he holds up one finger and wags it in front of Dace’s face, inciting a round of boos from the crowd. “Did you see that?” Riley says. “Flesher’s telling Night that he’s in over his head, almost warning the Hardcore Goth not to try to outwrestle him!” “Flesher is trying to play mind games,” says Comet, “but Night certainly isn’t going to mind his manners in this match. So far, he’s wrestled an outstanding match, and Flesher looks flustered.” Flesher backs into the center and waits for Night to come out of the corner. Dace follows, and Flesher quickly drops down and attacks for a low single-leg takedown, hooking his opponent by the left ankle. Dace instinctively falls forward, pushing Flesher’s head down with his left hip to keep him from pulling the leg off the mat. He reaches around Flesher’s waist and locks his hands, then quickly stands back up. He pulls Flesher off the mat, breaking the grip on his ankle, and effortlessly arches to throw him with a gutwrench suplex! Flesher lands on his back, and Night quickly covers for ONE! but no more, as Flesher gets a shoulder up and rolls to his stomach. “Tom Flesher hits a low single, but Citizen Night turns it to his advantage!” shouts Comet. “He takes Flesher head over heels with a gutwrench suplex for a near-fall!” “Oh, come on,” Riley scoffs. “You’re not going to get a former World Champion with a damn gutwrench.” “Silence, knave,” says Comet. “Citizen Night is more than capable of defeating Flesher with any technique that strikes his fancy.” Night covers Flesher, but the Superior One sits up and pushes back into him to avoid being grounded and held. Night, familiar with amateur techniques, hooks Flesher’s right elbow and pulls him back, then locks across his face with his right arm! He tries to pull Flesher to his back by yanking on his chin, but Tom scoots his hips back to avoid the pinning predicament. He reaches up with his free left hand and grabs Dace’s fingers, peeling them off his chin. He grips Dace’s wrist tightly and then quickly spins out, effortlessly freeing his arm from Dace’s hook and coming up to his knees to face the Brummie. Then, he yanks Dace’s arm forward and executes a go-behind, ending up on his feet behind the Hardcore Goth! Fluidly, he drops to his knees, then steps up and slams his shoulder into Dace’s back! Dace drops to his knees, and Flesher takes the opportunity to hook his left arm, then pull him to his feet in an abdominal stretch! The fans begin to boo, Allison Onita cheers, and Cyclone Comet groans. “Flesher’s vile system was evident against Crow, and is sadly making another appearance here,” he says. “He seems to take every match to a snail’s pace, and at this point, he simply treats Dace Night as cargo to be carried.” “The problem is, you don’t appreciate proper pure wrestling!” “It’s a pun, Robert. ‘Escargot.’” “Christ, who’s feeding you this crap?” “You shell never find out! Meanwhile, Flesher continues to stretch Night, who would prefer to slug it out.” Flesher leans back, working the abdominal stretch. Night grimaces, but clearly isn’t anywhere near tapping to the hold. Flesher continues pressuring Night, carefully working his right arm up Dace’s left and gradually loosening the over-the-shoulder hook that anchors the abdominal stretch. Dace wriggles, trying to free himself, and finally Flesher releases the shoulder hook entirely! Before Night can escape, though, he slams his right arm down across his face and secures an inverted facelock! Allison cheers and claps as Riley marvels over Flesher’s technical expertise. “What you see there is the standing variation on the stretch plum,” he says. “Tom tried to hit it on John Duran in the cage last week, but was unable to. Here, though, he’s going to stress Dace’s neck while he fatigues him through the body.” Flesher’s balance is a little off, though, and Night is able to reach up with his left arm and hook his head! Dace quickly jerks Tom’s head down and pulls him over his hip, taking him to the mat with a side headlock and escaping the stretch plum! Dace holds the headlock for ONE! but Tom locks his hands and rolls through, pinning Dace’s shoulders to the mat! The referee counts ONE! but waves off the fall, as Dace hooks a leg over the ropes! Dace attempts to belly down, but Flesher pulls him back away from the ropes. He keeps his hands locked around Dace’s chest as he yanks Horrorcore into a bodyscissors grip! Flesher reaches up and applies a crossface, forcing Dace to try to escape the pressure. “I’d say Flesher’s a vile knave,” says Comet with a yawn, “but frankly, Robert, I can’t concentrate long enough to build up any hatred for him.” “You know what your problem is, Comet? You don’t appreciate technique! Tom Flesher is forcing Dace Night to work his way out of a difficult submission hold, and he’s going to come out ahead for it! And here you are, acting like he’s not accomplishing anything. How do you expect people to appreciate wrestling when you’re parroting whatever tripe the lucha crowd with the twelve-second attention span is feeding you?!” Comet yawns again. “I’m sorry, Robert, did you say something? I believe I dozed off for a moment. I was having a wonderful dream about topes con hilo and elbows suicidas.” Dace reaches up and peels Flesher’s hand off his face. Tom tries to keep the crossface on, but Dace fights him off and sits up. Flesher responds by reaching under Dace’s arms and hooking his shoulders, then yanking him back. He shoots his arms up behind Dace’s neck and slaps on a full nelson! Allison Onita screams her approval as Flesher cinches his lock. “This is just genius,” Riley says. “Flesher’s keeping Dace anchored with those bodyscissors while he hits hold after hold that puts pressure on the neck. Night’s a garbage wrestler who should have known better than to get in the ring with a guy like Tom Flesher.” “A foul evildoer like Tom Flesher? I’d say HE’S the garbage! Dace Night, on the other hand, is a Freedom Fighter for JUSTICE~!” “You’re just saying that because it’s commercial.” Night struggles to escape the doushime full nelson, but even his strength advantage doesn’t allow him to break the hold at will. He rolls over toward the ropes, pulling Flesher on top of him. Flesher seizes the opportunity and breaks the body scissors, instead using each leg to grapevine one of Dace’s thighs. He pulls up on the full nelson, trying to extend Dace’s body, but the High Priest perseveres! He pulls himself toward the ropes an inch at a time, and even as Allison Onita screams her approval on the outside, he inches to the sidelines! Finally, he lunges forward and grabs the bottom rope! Flesher keeps the hold on as the referee counts… ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR! Finally, the Superior One breaks the hold and backs away. The referee keeps him back as Dace stands up, watching Flesher carefully, and silently rubs his neck. “The High Priest of Horrorcore is showing the effects of the painful, and painfully slow, attacking style of the Superior One,” Comet says. “He managed to escape, but if he plans to win this match he’ll need to set his own pace.” “You’re just jealous,” Riley retorts. “Tom Flesher’s a two-time World Champion on his way to another run at the top, and you’ve failed at everything you’ve done outside Hong Kong! Now if you don’t get it, then sit back and watch the Master at work!” Dace steps away from the ropes, only to have Flesher step in and rock him with a hard palm strike to the jaw! His head snaps back as Flesher meathooks the back of his head and pulls him to the center by the neck. He braces his forearm on the back of Dace’s neck and bends him down, then secures a front headlock! The fans boo as Flesher underhooks Dace’s arm and positions himself for the Cement Job. “Flesher’s taking advantage of the fatigue that Dace Night is feeling and trying to hit him with his Cement Job,” says Riley. “As Dace found out earlier, Flesher knows this position inside out, and his best bet is really just to go for the ride and hope he doesn’t get put on his back.” Flesher plants his feet and thrusts his arm forward, trying to throw Dace to his back. Night, though, takes a step back and lets his hooked arm go limp, avoiding the turn! As Flesher struggles to regain his balance, Dace steps in deep and locks his hands around Flesher’s waist! He stands up, then arches back, throwing Flesher to his back with a Northern Lights suplex! He holds the bridge, and the referee counts ONE!! TWO!!!!! NO! Flesher kicks out! The fans cheer for Dace in spite, though, and both men roll to their stomachs and quickly regain their footing. Dace, though, holds up one hand, then deliberately smirks and wags his finger in front of Flesher’s face! The crowd goes absolutely wild! Flesher scowls, but Dace doesn’t waste a second in hammering him in the side of the head with an elbowsmash that takes the starch right out of him! Flesher collapses to the mat face-first, and the crowd bursts into a chant of “DACE F’N NIGHT! DACE F’N NIGHT!” “So who’s the Master now, Robert?!” “That sort of cockiness is just inexcusable!” fumes Riley. “Where does he get off doing that?! And blindsiding him! Tom Flesher is a two-time World Champion!” The crowd continues chanting as the Hardcore Goth drops down onto Flesher for a surgical strike. He drops a knee hard into the small of Flesher’s back, and the Superior One grimaces in pain. Dace plants a hand on each of Flesher’s shoulders and lifts his knee again, then drives it back down into his spine! Flesher’s back arches as he feels the knee being driven into him, but Night once again nails him with a knee drop! Flesher’s face is a mask of pain as Dace rolls him to his back and covers him. ONE!! TWO!!!! NO!!!!!!! Once again, Flesher kicks out and rolls to his stomach. This time, Dace crouches next to him and threads his arms under Flesher’s hips. He locks his hands and stands up powerfully, deadlifting Flesher three feet off the mat without even a grunt! From there, he gutwrenches Flesher head-over-heels and then drops to one knee, spiking Flesher with a pendulum backbreaker! The former World Champion cries out in pain as Dace lets him slump off his knee and onto the mat. He hooks the leg and lays across Flesher for ONE!!! TWO!!!!! THR- NO!!!!!! Flesher gets a shoulder up once again! He doesn’t look good, though, and as he sits up, Dace plants a knee between his shoulders and locks on a surfboard! The crowd applauds as Dace applies the submission, and Flesher’s face twists into an agonized expression. Dace slides his knee down, putting the pressure on Flesher’s back, and Flesher screams out loud. The official drops to one knee to ask Flesher if he wants to submit, and even as he shakes his head, the fans begin a chant! “GIVE IT UP! GIVE IT UP!” “Listen to the disrespect they’re showing him!” seethes Riley. “How can they do that to a man who’s put his heart and soul into his time with the SWF?!” “You mean he sold his heart and soul to Evil in order to make his way back to the top of the mountain! The White Night is fighting for the side of Justice to keep him away from the World Title, and making him submit is one way to gain an early advantage in this series!” Flesher struggles to try to escape the surfboard, but to no avail. Dace simply continues pressuring his back. “And,” Comet continues, “taking low risk maneuvers and using them to end the match is without a doubt the smart strategy, since the submission match is just around the corner and anything these athletes do to each other can be capitalized on.” “You didn’t say that when Flesher was in control!” “That’s because he’s boring, friend.” Flesher cries out in pain again, and finally Dace shoves him away. He covers Tom again, and the referee counts ONE!!! TWO!!!! THRE- NO!!!!!!! Flesher gets a shoulder up, despite obviously being in pain. Dace holds the leg he hooked for the cover and stands up, placing himself at Flesher’s feet. There, he holds the leg and tries to force Flesher over for a single-leg crab! The crowd cheers him on, but Flesher struggles to keep from being turned to his stomach! Even as Dace tries to muscle him over, Flesher wriggles and then plants his free leg on Dace’s stomach! He kicks Night away and quickly rolls to his knees to avoid being caught again. Somewhat out of it, Flesher turns slowly around, only to be caught right in the face with a running Yakuza kick! He flattens out like a pancake as Night covers him again! ONE!!! TWO!!!! THREE- NO!!!!!!! “Somehow, Tom Flesher is finding the strength and fortitude to kick out of every pin attempt that Citizen Night is making!” muses Comet. “The smart money, of course, is on Flesher being possessed by vile demons that control his constitution!” “I don’t know what this has to do with the First Amendment, but Tom Flesher’s motives are pure! All he wants is a shot at the World Title, eventual world domination, and a little Asian poontang on the side.” “Sadly, Robert, his desires conflict with yours…” “Bite your tongue!” Flesher sits up, and Dace backs slowly away. Flesher gets to his feet, only to be cracked over the head with a stiff elbowsmash! Flesher drops to one knee, but quickly rebounds back to his feet. As he gets up, he’s met with another elbow on the crown of the head! Flesher crouches down again, this time spending at least a second on his knee. As he gets back up, Dace whacks him with two more elbows in succession, hitting hard staccato blows to the head! This time, Flesher collapses all the way to the mat. Dace starts to drop down to cover him, but the hazy, bleary-eyed Flesher rolls away. Slowly, teetering, he gets to his feet. He wobbles there as Night steps toward him and hammers him over the head with three more elbows! They ring through the arena, making a sickening trio of “WHACK!” sounds, and Flesher collapses to the mat! He rolls out of the ring, staggering around and grimacing as he holds his head! ONE! The referee begins counting as Dace reservedly stays on the ropes. TWO! “Seven hard elbowsmashes!” marvels Cyclone Comet. “Dace Night is just assaulting his opponent!” “And he’s going to take the coward’s way out,” spits Riley. “He’s going to try to make Tom Flesher stay out of the ring for ten seconds and get the count-out.” THREE! “It’s not like Flesher is in any position to fight back,” says Comet. “One win is as good as another.” FOUR! Night leans over the top rope, sneering at Flesher and baiting him back into the ring. FIVE! Still shaken, Flesher looks up, his vision starting to clear up. SIX! He scowlingly shoos Dace away from the ropes, trying to avoid being attacked on his way in. Dace obligingly backs away, allowing Flesher unimpeded passage back into the ring. He even gives Flesher a few extra seconds to get to his feet before pouncing on him. Flesher tries to back away and avoid the attack, but Night succeeds, pulling Flesher forward and hitting a short-arm elbow strike! Tom collapses into a heap on the mat, and the crow goes wild as Dace covers him! ONE!!! TWO!!!! THREE!!!!!!!! NO!!!!!! The official waves off the fall, pointing to Flesher’s leg draped loosely over the bottom rope! Night glowers at him, but dutifully breaks the pin. He grabs the semi-conscious Flesher by the legs and drags him off the ropes, then hooks his ankles. Dace leans back, then steps over, locking up a Boston crab! Then, as the fans scream their approval and Allison Onita shields her face, Night starts to kneel down to lock up the Torture Crab! Flesher moves, though, lunging forward! Just inches from the ropes, he reaches out, and Night tries again to plant his knee on Flesher’s head! “Dace Night is only seconds away from taking the first match of the series!” shouts Cyclone Comet. “Once he secures the Torture Crab, there’s absolutely nothing Flesher can do to escape!” “I can’t watch!” whimpers Riley. “Tell me when it’s over!” Flesher lunges forward once again, this time wrapping his hand around the ropes! Dace walks him forward two steps, but Flesher keeps a death grip on the bottom cable! The referee admonishes Night to break the hold, but the Horrorcore ignores him. Instead, he simply drops down onto one knee anyway, locking up the Torture Crab with Flesher already on the ropes! The referee begins his count… ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR! FI – Dace breaks the hold! The fans boo, but Flesher merely lays on the mat in agony holding his back. Night stays on him, this time grabbing him by the wrist. He pulls Flesher up to his feet and whips him to the ropes… but Flesher collapses to the mat after only three steps! The fans boo, and Night drops down and covers him. ONE!!! TWO!!!! THREE!!!!!!! … NO! Flesher gets a shoulder up with the referee’s hand only a hair’s breadth from the canvas! The fans boo loudly as Night looks around. Flesher simply lays on the mat. Night lifts him to his feet, and although he wobbles, Flesher stays up this time. With that, Dace turns to the crowd, and, with a scream, throws the metal horns! The crowd explodes, sensing the end is near! “Dace Night signals the end for Tom Flesher,” shills Comet. “He’s planning to put the kibosh on the self-professed Superior One for tonight!” With that, and with thousands of sets of horns in the air, Dace sprints to the ropes! He rebounds, and as Tom Flesher stands stunned in the center of the mat, Night pivots! He spins around, prompting Comet to scream, “ROOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLLLLLING ELBOW!!!!!!” As Dace’s elbow swings toward the Superior One, Flesher drops to one knee! Night follows through, his balance off-set by the lack of impact! As he struggles to regain his footing, Flesher pops up to his feet behind him! With that, he locks his hands and arches back, executing a textbook German suplex in the blink of an eye! He holds the bridge, and Night struggles to escape as the referee counts the pin! ONE!!! TWO!!!! THREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DING DING DING!!!! Night rolls through just as the bell rings, and Flesher collapses onto his back! Livid, Dace looks around the ring, not sure how he managed to get caught after dominating the last half of the match! Nevertheless, the referee helps Flesher to sit up and raises his hand! “Tom Flesher catches that limey bastard by surprise,” cackles Riley, “and wins the match! This is incredible, Comet!” “So say you, Robert. Sadly, Dace Night simply got caught, and the man who somehow – somehow – managed to catch him can’t count on that sort of opening happening in the next match.” Allison Onita enters the ring, jumping for joy as Flesher tries to shake off the cobwebs. Night simply stalks out of the ring. Flesher slowly gets to his feet, his chest heaving from the fatigue he feels. “Tom Flesher showed why he’s the Superior One tonight,” says Riley. “He kept the match at his pace as long as he could, and even after taking a slaughtering from the High Priest of Horrorcore, he found an opening and won the match with it! You tell me, Comet, you tell me why that man shouldn’t be the World Champion!” “Because,” Comet replies, “he’s got to do it two more times.” “Kashmir” blares over the sound system as Flesher finally gets his head clear and raises his arms. The fans boo loudly, and even louder as Flesher smirks. He moves his hands around his waist, signaling that he has his sights set on the SWF World Championship. “Next time, fans,” says Cyclone Comet, “Tom Flesher and Dace Night face off in a submission match!” Until then, Flesher has all the time in the world to recuperate. === SWF Lockdown, May 19, 2004. © Noble Gas Television. All rights reserved. The Smarks Wrestling Federation: “Raising Workrate by Typing Faster.”

The Liberal Party of Canada has been described as "The Party of the Radical Centre."

MAIN EVENT SINGLES MATCH WORLD TITLE BOUT Nathaniel Kibagami© vs "Deathwish" Danny Williams - Kibs in a squeaker SUBMISSION MATCH BEST-OF-FIVE SERIES, MATCH TWO OF FIVE Dace Night vs "The Superior One" Tom Flesher - np LADDER MATCH ICTV TITLE BOUT Toxxic© vs Janus - Toxxic TAG TEAM MATCH TAG TEAM TITLE BOUT Hollywood Boulevard© vs The Wayward Sons - Hollywood Boulevard CRUISERWEIGHT TITLE BOUT Johnny Dangerous© vs Ace Lezaire - Ace Lecongo SINGLES MATCH Ryan Dustin vs "The Notorious" John Duran - Duran, although it's a shame to see Dustin take the loss. FATAL FOUR WAY HARDCORE TITLE NO.1 CONTENDERSHIP Crow vs Insane Luchador vs Aecas vs Landon "La Cucaracha" Maddix - Potentially Quadruple Crown Landon

That was largely intentional. The match wasn't complete, because it's the opening match of a best-of-five series. I consciously left some psychological loose ends for the purposes of building the rest of the series off of them.

I'm fairly certain Dace also showed, and that GSMS made his decision. So I'm agonizing.

... I showed. Does that help?

Oh, that's just an old wives' tale.

Boo! I was always a fan. Ah well. Hang out, will ya?

I only managed to get through Triple Crown Landon's excellent, excellent heel promo before I lost my willpower and skipped to the end to see who won. KIBAGAMI, you magnificent bastard, congratulations.

I did a fabulous job of using Riley to get myself over, if I do say so myself.

The Recap in which I reduce the match to something you can skim while getting head Collar-and-elbow tie to open up, and Spike goes straight for the headlock. Rope break before the count. I might not have used the “Landon is weak” line right before Landon just basically says, “Why, no, you may not roll me to my back.” I’d have been more inclined to have Landon wrap an arm around the waist or do some other physical counter, just for consistency. That’s just a minor quibble, though. I’m also digging the foreshadowing of the choke. Landon slaps for offense, and I’m a fan of the dick heels. He fires Spike up, and I like where this is going. Another collar-and-elbow, and back to the headlock, where Spike keeps it for the five-count this time. This is actually a pretty good use of the face-underdog-holding-the-headlock spot that everyone fought over last week, although I would have liked it if you were a bit more explicit about Landon being able to outclass Holly before establishing it. Landon slaps for off- nope. Spike blocks it and elbows out! And boy, is he mad. He hits another side headlock and finally takes it to the mat, where he starts attacking Landon’s neck (by which I assume you mean really working the headlock with Landon in bad position to defend it). Landon rolls through for 2, but Spike reasserts the headlock and gets back in position. Landon’s selling this headlock like he’s being stretched six ways to Sunday. Landon manages to elbow Spike enough to distract him and get to his feet, then careens into the ropes. Landon’s a little desperate here, and this time Spike breaks quickly. (That doesn’t seem right to me. I think that for what you’re doing Spike probably should have held the headlock for the four-and-a-half-count again… there’s not much difference, emotionally, for Spike between the second and third rope breaks. That’s just my interpretation, though.) Spike grabs another headlock and tries for the takeover, but Landon hooks the ropes (and thank god the match is developing). Landon hits the Landon Eye to take control, and despite his status as the more talented of the two, he’s hitting big shit. Makes sense, considering the headlock sequence at the beginning. Landon, though, staggers to the corner to recuperate. He’s up before Spike, though, and hits a powerslam. Goes to the top, and misses the flying headbutt, then sells the neck like Andre’s been choking him. Double sell, and then SpikeBerg hits the spear! Alright, that works. And he continues his offensive run with a DDT, attacking Landon’s neck again. The DDT allows him to float over into a guillotine choke, and Landon taps. The Analysis in which I pretend my opinion matters I noted some things I thought were wrong with the headlock, psychologically. Now, let me just say… by my wordcounter, you had a 3115-word match, of which 2158 was from bell to bell and 1373 was the initial headlock sequence. The headlock was well-written – the whole match was, actually, and I’m very impressed – but it was too long for the match. You used about 1000 words for entrances and aftermath, which is a pretty safe amount, but when you were trying to build the sort of match you seemed to be getting at, it might have been safer to trim down the entrances a little to leave yourself a few more words. Then, when you still needed more words, you definitely should have looked at the headlock spot and trimmed it down to maybe 67-75% of its length. You didn’t leave yourself any space to go anywhere with it. And with that in mind, I don’t think Landon got enough offense in. His one offensive sequence was pretty bone-dry. He doesn’t suffer for that, because he was working smart in the headlock – he kept himself from getting thrown for quite a while, worked to the ropes instead of trying to outpower Spike and eventually countered out of it. Still, when Landon finally got control, he hit the Landon Eye and a powerslam, and that was it. He had 340 words of offense, including the commentary following his missing the Disciple Flying Headbutt. Landon’s a pretty solid competitor, and I think he deserved to be in control a bit longer, especially considering the way he seemed to be treated in the opening. The finish was Perfectly Acceptable Wrestling. Spike’s continuing to get himself over as technically capable, even if sometimes he still makes mistakes (ie, going for the headlock takeover while Landon’s still closer to the ropes). I was talking to Rotten in chat the other night, so I’m reminded here of Jay Dawg’s ascension from dumbass jobber to someone who actually has a really good mind for martial arts action. If you keep working and asking for feedback, you can definitely improve, but it’s important to remember that the story of the match is about the other guy, too. Overall, ** for a match with some psychological errors where the opening ran way too long.