Ace309

Happy birthday, WC!

... Nope. Not buying this one.

I paid the $4.95 charter rate for the Straight Dope Message Board, because that board is a fountain of useful information and intelligent debate. This board? No.

IL, if you can't hold your liquor and your weed, don't expect other people to forgive you for acting out when you're under the influence. I think you owe a little more contrition than a conditional apology. "Sorry if you were offended" isn't it.

*offers Muzz 72 virgins in contrition*

I liked this. It gave a little depth to the Cortez character that felt lacking when he was just sort of shuffled in in place of - Shane Thompson, was it? Also, good use of the Van Siclen heel character, which is something that's very tough to get right without it seeming cheesy or cookie-cutter.

Can I just point out to the people who seem angry, offended or somehow hurt over the fact that this discussion is going on that this is what writing about wrestling is for a large segment of the active writers? I'd say that a minority, but a significant one, is as interested or more interested in the actual in-ring work than the backstage development of a character, and that's what's manifesting itself right now. Do I like the tone the discussion's taken? No, which is why I made my case and left it there. Still, christ! We're discussing the relative merits of something in one of the matches! Yes, there's a bit more venom than I think is necessary, but I'd be thrilled with a whole fed of people who put thought into their matches and people who are willing to call them on it if for whatever reason it doesn't make sense. (I understand the point Danny's making; I just don't think it applies here.) Dismay over a 1000-word headlock? It's not like Kibs just wrote "The headlock is still on" 200 times. He developed what was, in my opinion, an interesting dynamic between the two wrestlers by using that headlock and the wrestling surrounding Cortez trying to escape it. Danny's right on. We're commenting on the show. When it seems that nine times out of ten no one reads enough of the show to comment, we should be so lucky to have this sort of discussion every week.

I dunno, Dan. I'm not anywhere near as well-versed with the history of the spot's symbolic status as you are (although it does stand out very well, the side headlock coming to mind in the Misawa/Jumbo matches), but to me, when I was proofing it for Kibs, it just read as an established veteran with a jerky streak being a jerk to the new cruiser who got thrown in against him. Kibagami being who he is, it seemed to me that being battered from his match on the pay-per-view gave him an additional reason to just avoid doing any work and let Cortez exhaust and frustrate himself working to get out, which is something that he would do anyway because he's grumpy. Basically, if this makes any sense to you, I envision the whole headlock sequence being executed with Kibs wearing a brick face, a "Well, back to the grind" expression, and occasionally sighing disgustedly at the prospect of having to do something to reassert his position.

Pardon?

Stryke vs. Todd Cortez - Cortez Tables Match (Crow, Dace and Spike) - Dace Cruiser Contenders, Part One: Insane Luchardore vs. Austin Sly - Sly, because he'll show. Cruiser Contenders, Part Two: Jacob Helmsley vs. Alan Clark - Clark Hardcore Title: MVS vs. Aecas - Aecas USJL belt: Maddix vs. West - West Submissive Cage Of Redemption (sounds like a bad porn name) - No prediction. (N) #1 Contendah~! Match: Kibs vs. Toxxic - Kibagami

COMMENTS OF LOCKDOWNOSITY~! Part I of hopefully only II! Segment 1: Wild and Dangerous Promo - Nice little promo to remind everyone about the history between MVS and W&D, and to get the challenge out. Segment 2: Card - When you come back, bring pie. Segment 3: MVS Promo - Oooh, that sounds like a challenge. Segment 4: Finally Jerking the Curtain with Spike and Tryst - I’m down with this slower, submission-styling Spike. I liked the explanation of the knee injury keeping Spike off some of his more speed-requiring moves, and although the match was short, it developed well telling a very basic story. This has potential. Segment 5: Johnny’s Going To Get Laid - Cute opening. Nothing like repeated cumshot references. (Y) This developed into a nice little TV-style angle that works well with Johnny’s spy character. Segment 6: Tom Flesher vs. Crow - It was a little rushed, but I hope this turned out well. Segment 7: Postmatch Flesher Promo - Again, pretty rushed, but I think it did the job. Segment 8: Wayward Sons vs. Janus & Aecas ©, non-title - This was character involvement central, and as usual, that means it was an enjoyable read. It’s odd to see Janus as a bastard heel, since I’ve always thought of him as a more talented version of Nathan Jones. It’s always disappointing to see opponents reduced to just being opponents, but it’s excusable in this case for two reasons: -- A) There’s absolutely no way that you could have had a ‘real’ match here without dealing with the Janus/Aecas dynamic, and -- B) Coy and Clark were given significant offense and really hung in there. All in all, a VERY enjoyable read. Segment 9: Wildchild vs. Furious Twist of Fate - Perfectly Acceptable Jobbing™. Not Bonzo Gonzo, due to lack of tag partners, but it’ll do. The MVS attack at the end was indeed sweet. Segment 10: Mike Van Siclen vs. Jimmy ‘the Demon’ Liston, SWF Hardcore Championship - Pretty solid hardcore wrestling. Again, it’s disappointing that Liston is sort of reduced to being a way for MVS to develop his character, but them’s the breaks. I particularly liked the series of Kendo stick shots at the end, with MVS showing the frustration he’s feeling. I have to wonder, though, if anyone bothered to coordinate MVS’s attack promos with this match.

Woo! I've never faced Duran, and I like the stip.

Fucking hell. Where ARE you people?!

Alternatively, they'll give him a huge chairshot, building to the fact that it'll "cure" him... and then have him pass out and explain it as a hemorrhage or some other really bad thing that would happen as the result of a chairshot. Cut to Eugene being stretchered out, and JR muttering, "It always used to work on The Flintstones..."

Shhh. You'll smarten everyone else up about when I'm planning to retire.

I took my last two exams as an undergrad today. I'm certain that I didn't fail either one, and even if I failed one, I'm a double major and there was one in each field - so I'd still have one degree coming. As it stands I'll be getting a BA in Philosophy and Political Science with a concentration in American Politics & Public Affairs. But still, I am completely done with my undergraduate work. All I have to do now is put on the silly robe and walk across the stage, then wait six to eight weeks for the sheet of paper. Now, I look forward to several months of being elbowed to get a job before flying to New York City and allowing total strangers to whack me with books about law for three years. Eh, it's a living.

Hamada and Muta got their Gran/Great monikers without doing anything in particular for them. I've never heard Rikidozan or Tsuruta referred to as Great or Gran. The story doesn't seem to work at all.

Well, yeah. Just like you have no right to criticize a match until you've been in the ring.

What he said.

MAIN EVENT SWF CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH Danny Williams vs John Duran - I have to give this one to Danny. Todd Cortez vs Nathaniel Kibagami - Kibs, though Cortez is oozing talent. OFFICE BRAWL #1 CONTENDERSHIP TO THE USJL TITLE Landon Maddix vs Austin Sly vs Stryke vs Insane Luchador vs Jacob Helmsley - I harbor an intense personal distaste for this stipulation. Ann Onita vs Dace Night - Dace HARDCORE CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH Jimmy Liston vs Mike Van Siclen - MVS Alan Clark & Coy West vs Janus & Aecas - Wayward sons Crow vs Tom Flesher - np Spike Jenkins vs Tryst - Tryst

The Amazing Red had no setting between "no-sell" and "convulse on the mat as if you've just been electrocuted," so I think he deserves a mention.

I have four pairs of shoes: - A pair of black Doc Marten wingtips - A pair of brown Doc oxfords - A pair of black sneakers for non-workout purposes - A pair of beat-up old slip-on sneakers that I run, paint and do other shoe-abusing work in

You'll be my partner when I start my political consulting firm, "Flesher, Tool & Co."

Buy a shish kebab from a street vendor who doesn't speak English

SWF Favorite Writer(s): I've always liked promos by Zed and Kibs, but for matches no one's going to beat Edwin. Favorite Promo(s): In The Fade. (Y) Oh, and possibly the Mag-7 ringing in the New Year, if I can stroke myself. Favorite Match(es): Edwin's first-person four-way, easily. Favorite Stip to Write: Submission! SUBMISSION! My Biggest Accomplishment: Two long reigns as a fighting world champion. Other people held it longer, but didn't defend it as often. I like to think I got close to Edwin's level. I Regret That: I briefly became Durandal for a short period in 2002. I Wish: I could have held the World Title long enough to break ELM's record while maintaining my level of activity. Dream Matches Involving Yourself: I've always wanted to face Stubby and King in properly built PPV matches. Dream Matches: Mak Francis and Suicide King in a quasi teacher-student scenario going for 45 minutes. I've Become Most Friendly With: Zed, easily. I Hope: The fed stays alive and regains some of its strength very, very soon. Personal Name (First name works, last name if you don't care): Y'all know it by now. Single: Nope. Dating a cute Masters student. Have Most Trouble: Getting myself to do work that I don't want to. Favorite Things to Do: Read. Most Recent Accomplishment: Not quite yet - I just finished my last day of university classes, and I have two finals on Friday followed the next weekend by graduation ceremonies. Most Recent Failure: My last paper for PSC 313 sucked. Favorite Bands: Allman Brothers Band, Led Zeppelin, Rev. Horton Heat, Dropkick Murphys Favorite Book: Of Mice and Men Favorite Movie: My Blue Heaven with Steve Martin and Rick Moranis Favorite Actor: John Malkovich One Song to Listen to On Repeat: Dropkick Murphys, either "Fields of Athenry" or "Worker's Song" One Item You'd Save During A Fire: Well, now that my cat's dead... Something You Want to Get Into To: ... the practice of law? Biggest Regret/Mistake: Not working harder. Biggest Turn On: Eyes. Biggest Turn Off: Beards. If You Died and Went To Heaven, What Do You Want God to Say: "You know all those lawyer jokes? Don't worry about em." How About Going to Hell, Devil says: "You know all those lawyer jokes? I made them up."