Ace309

I'd just like to suggest that those who showed and lost post their match in a Losing Matches Thread, particularly if said people are nooblets and could benefit from the comments of the more experienced writers. My matches were pretty good, Santa and Jake aside, and I'd like to commend Cross for doing a hell of a job as a rook.

Shit, I missed your 21st! How'd the drinking-with-wife thing go?

Odd.

When they call your name, instead of saying "Here" or "Present," say "Guilty." According to News of the Weird, they once disqualified an entire jury pool because one guy did that.

I'd have to disagree. As I recall, the Kaientai DX name was a garbling of "Deluxe." I also think that "Degeneration X" was coined by a columnist in... the New York Times, was it? If you want to say that the stables were similar... well, okay, but only in the same way that every rudo stable is similar.

Clean up your punctuation, run-ons and paragraph breaks. Read some of the stuff out loud to see if it sounds forced or natural.

Can we at least call the opening promo "the airing of grievances?"

In at just short of 11,000. Fun match to write, and I really enjoyed the finish and aftermatch. I hope those can carry my opening, which I thought dragged a little.

Oooh, jugs... mmm, 1,333 women... ... wait.

My eyes are bleeding. My fingers are wearing to bony nubs. Pity me, for I am He Who Had a Paper and Final Today and Is WAY Behind On His Match.

And then... when you least expect it... BAM! Ace of Clubs to the back of the head!

Update: The first final is tomorrow, and already my beard looks like it belongs on my face. w00t.

If one of the markers wants to jump in for that one, just post and first come first served. If no one posts by the due time, Santa and Jake can send their matches to me.

SJL METAL CARD Date: Tuesday, December 16, @ 10 PM EST Venue: The Burt Flickinger Center in the “beautiful” steel belt of Downton Buffalo, New York! Send To: Longdogger_Pete Todd Royal and Landon Maddix were given the night off thanks to their performances on Crimson, but then Raynor said Maddix had to fight, in order to cover up for the booker's mad leet typo skilzl. Alan Clark is too hurt to fight. OPENING PROMO: Todd Royal is here! The SJL’s World Champion is here to give his thoughts on his loss to Alan Clark, and to the injuries he caused the Disney-sponsored superstar. Clark is so injured that he won’t be competing tonight. When will he be able to cash in his title shot? Only time will tell. WELCOME WAGON! Daredevil vs. David Cross Description: Daredevil, meet David Cross, one of the most talented rookies we’ve seen in the JL in a long time. David Cross, meet Daredevil, officially licensed JL rookie and bona fide talent, according to his trainer (who just happens to be working for the SWF). Let’s see what you’ve got. Rules: Standard match. DQ & Countout apply. Word Limit: 3000 Send to: Ace309 CHECKING FOR A PULSE LADDER MATCH “Live~Wire” Sean Casey vs. “Fruity” Frankie Deed Description: These two haven’t been around much lately. We’re wondering if they’ll show up for this one. Rules: Standard ladder match rules, with a stocking full of coal hanging at the top of the ladder. This just screams postmatch shenanigans. Word Limit: 4000 Send to: Ace309 LEAD STEEL PIPE CHALLENGE MATCH Jacob Helmsley vs. Santa Claus Description: After the show last week, Jacob sat on Santa’s lap and Santa asked him what he wanted for Christmas. Jake told him, and despite Santa quickly turning white and starting to shake, the dear old man simply can’t refuse. He’s Santa, for god’s sake. Rules: Jacob asked for a Lead Steel Pipe Challenge. There will be several lead steel pipes, Jacob’s specialty weapons, laying outside and under the ring. Lead Steel pipes are legal in this match, but no other weapons are. Outside of the lead steel pipe rule, all rules apply normally. Word Limit: 4000 Send to: Thoth EDIT: You missed one. MAIN EVENT Landon “La Cucaracha” Maddix vs. “Hollywood” Spike Jenkins Description: One of the top young prospects meets up with the craftiest, highest veteran the JL has ever seen! Old time hockey! Rules: Standard match. DQ & Countout apply. Word Limit: 5500 Send to: Longdogger_Pete

That was indeed an excellent promo, Grap. I look forward to you exercising your promo muscle more in the future.

Philosophy. I'll probably end up completing the Political Science requirements anyway and upgrade to a double major. Then, off to law school~!

Sigh. See, Zed makes cards that have mistakes that MATTER. I just make typos.

SJL: A Festivus for the Rest of Us! FEATURING: Opening promo: The Airing of Grievances! Feats of Strength! Festivus Rod on a Pole Match!

Fool! Kingmas isn't till February!

Christ, just read the show. It’ll only take you ten minutes, and the two guys who wrote did just… incredible jobs. They deserve to have their shit read.

“Ladies and gentlemen,” says Funyon, “Sorry about the delay. The SWF had some travel problems, and unfortunately some of our workers couldn’t make it out for the show. However, please rise for the national anthem!” Funyon clears his throat and begins to sing. Sittin' by the fire late at night, With my friends talking about the good times Keys were good, can't complain this time Soaked up lots of sun down at the beach I'm not concerned underneath the winter sky, Of what lies on the other side Knock back a few more Rolling Rock I wonder if they're alcohol free? So this is America? Far from the sleet and misery. Don't ruin my euphoria, Seems like livin' here comes here easily I wish I were American Would I be a Democrat or Republican, Livin’ large in the land of the free Do you wish you were American? Does your blood run red white and blue? So this is America? Leaders of Democracy Don't ruin my euphoria, And tell me what I do not see So this is America? Bless this land of the free Don't ruin my euphoria, And tell me what I do not see I wish I were American... The crowd applauds as Funyon completes his stirring rendition of “Wish I Were American” by the Planet Smashers, and then moves on to the card.

Coming back from commercial break, SJL Crimson barrels back into action. With fans hanging from the balconies, New York’s Hammerstien Ballroom is full to the brim with rabid SJL fans. As the generic metal music from the commercial break fades away, the crowd roars, knowing the action will start up again soon. Panning around the small arena, the camera focuses on the announce position, where our Mod Squad announce team has settled in. Annie: Welcome back to Crimson! We’re live from the Hammerstien Ballroom with a HUGE night of action! Judge: That’s right. We’ve already seen David Cross and Sean Casey battle for a shot at the European title, and an amazing three way between Landon Maddix, Spike Jenkins and Aecas! Ejiro: But up next is the moment you’ve all been waiting for! An appearance by our Todd and Savior!! Todd Royal is up next, and he’s gonna DESTROY Alan Clark. Judge: This match is a double contendership match, and the winner will get a shot at the other man’s title live on Pay Per View. Alan Clark is looking reach the peak of his 6 month JL journey and capture the World title, while Todd Royal just wants the European belt OFF the waist of Clark. Down at ringside, Funyon picks up his microphone and climbs up onto the ring apron, drawing a huge cheer from the crowd. Lifting the mic to his mouth, the booming voice of the JL prepares to announce the next match. Funyon: Ladies and gentlemen…the following is your MAIN EVENT!! It is a non-title match, scheduled for one fall, with TV time remaining… “Please Stand Clear of the Ring. Por favor Soporte Claro del Anillo.” As the bilingual announcement booms over the PA system, the crowd in the ballroom stands, letting out a monster pop. As the curtain pops, the voice booms through the room once again. “For the Safety and Comfort of Others…No Smoking Please. Para la Seguridad y la Comodidad de Otras…el Ningun Fumar Por favor.” “Ladies and Gentlemen…The SJL and the Walt Disney Company are proud to present the following matchup…” On the SmarkTron screen, an image of the New York skyline appears. With the faint ringing of bells, and a tiny giggle, the scene is interrupted by Tinkerbell. Motioning to the crowd to follow her, the pixie takes off, soaring through New York City and stopping high above the Hammerstein Ballroom. With another giggle, she flies into the arena, circling the crowd before stopping above the entrance way. As a huge grin flashes over the face of the sprite, the camera pans down to the entrance way. Funyon: Announcing first…from Walt Disney World Resort, Orlando, Florida…weighing in at two hundred and twenty five pounds…he is the Happiest Guy on Earth…and the current, reigning SJL EUROPEAN HEAVYWEIGHT WRESTLING CHAMPION…ALAN CLARK!!! The crowd erupts, as the curtain parts and a beaming Alan Clark steps into the ballroom. Waving to the fans in the arena, Clark begins to walk towards the ring- making sure to stop and greet each fan. Slapping hands and asking fans how their “stay” has been, the European Champion skips around the ring before sliding in, greeting referee Eddy Long and patting Funyon on the back. Ejiro: Todd Almighty, this guy makes me sick. He comes out here, KNOWING he’s about to get destroyed, but still smiling like he just won the lottery! Annie: Alan Clark’s got a great outlook on life, Fasaki, he’s the Happiest Guy on Earth. He fully believes he’ll leave New York tonight with a shot at the SJL World Title, and that he’ll emerge on Pay Per View with the belt around his waist. It’s a glass-half-full kind of thing. Ejiro: I’d like to smash that glass over his stupid little… Judge: This is going to be a real interesting match for a couple of reasons. First of all, these two men met each other way back in June, in the first SJL match for both men. Alan Clark was the decidedly more morose Bloodshed at the time, but it was Todd Royal that came out on top. Both men have come a long way since then, and Alan hopes the outcome will be different this time around. Ejiro: I remember that match…the beginning of the reign of Todd in the JL… With that, the lights in the arena drop off, swallowing the room in an ocean of darkness. As the crowd begins to boo, a white spotlight snaps on over the ring, shining down on the SmarkTron. The light illuminates a large stained-glass portrait of Mickey Mouse, with a big red slash through it. This just increases the booing, a noise that is softened only by the song of a choir. As dozens of candle flames reveal a full church choir flanking the entrance way, a second bright light shines up from underneath the aisle. As the chorus belts out a song of praise, a platform rises from below, brining Todd Royal and Megan Skye up to the arena floor. As the crowd lets out an unrelenting barrage of jeers, blue and white strobe lights flash and the opening chords of AC/DC’s “Shoot to Thrill” drown out the choir. Funyon: And his opponent…accompanied to the ring by Megan Skye, and weighing in at two hundred and twenty pounds…from San Diego, California…he is the current, reigning SJL WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT WRESTLING CHAMPION…TODD ROYAL!!! The booing of the crowd doesn’t affect the World Champion however, as he struts to the ring. Leading the way dressed in a silver halter top, Megan Skye removes Todd’s sunglasses, opening the ropes to let him into the ring. As Royal shrugs off his “Todd before Country” vest, he smirks at his opponent, motioning to his slightly larger title belt. Ejiro: Praise Todd! The Champion and the Toddess have graces us with their presence!! Now truly, I am the Happiest Man on Earth!! Annie: Does that choir TRAVEL with them?! And can I get the number of the girl at the end of row four? I’d like to get sacrilegious with HER… Ejiro: HEY! Do not think dirty thoughts about the acolytes of the word of Todd. Judge: It will certainly be interesting to see the strategies implemented by both men in this match. They have obviously been itching to get at each other for some time now, but either way this turns out, these two WILL meet again in just two weeks. They have to be careful not to expose their whole strategy, and save something for the title match. In the ring, Eddy Long takes the European title belt from Alan Clark. He goes to take the World belt from Royal, but Todd scoffs, handing the strap to Megan who buffs it with the towel and rolls out of the ring. Todd grins, and nods as Long delivers the Euro belt to the timekeeper. Giving warnings to both men, Long checks Clark for foreign objects. Coming up clean, the official turns to Royal, only to be handed a towel to wipe off the “Alan residue” giving up and turning away, Long signals for the bell. *DING* *DING* *DING* As the bell sounds, the competitors circle each other, each moving slowly- wary to approach their opponent. Todd throws his hands up in front of his face and takes a step forward, but quickly backtracks, wringing his wrist and scowling. Clark makes the next move, stepping quickly around his opponent, forcing Royal to spin quickly around. Getting nowhere, both men drop their guards, moving back to the corners. Judge: Clark and Royal slow to make contact. It could be that these two are scouting each other for their next match, or it could just be they are so familiar with each other they can’t figure out what to do first. Ejiro: Todd is the picture of decisiveness. He’s just waiting for the most opportune time. As both men move back to mid-ring, Royal is indeed the one to make the first move. Striking out with his left leg, Todd nails a stiff shin strike to the outside of Alan’s left knee. Clark flinches and steps back, and a grin breaks over Todd’s face as he steps back to consider his next shot. With Megan cheering him on from ringside, Royal takes two quick steps forward, firing off a second shot. Clark, anticipating the blow, leaps over the World champion’s leg and comes down behind Todd. Royal pivots to spin around, but Alan spins on the mat, using his legs to sweep his opponent off his vertical base. As Todd crashes to the mat, Alan kips up, drawing a huge cheer from the crowd. Annie: Royal strikes first, but it’s Alan Clark that gets an early advantage- using his speed and quickness to take down Todd. Ejiro: Speed AND quickness?! That’s the same thing, Annie… Annie: No. Speed is how fast Alan moves around the ring, like sweeping the leg, and kipping up. His quickness refers to his ability to move around, dodge blows… Ejiro…. Royal struggles to get to his feet, but before he can make a move, Alan is already in the air. Leaping and somersaulting forward, the European Champ aims a leg drop at Todd’s head. As Clark comes crashing down, however, Todd spins out of the way, dropping Alan on his spine on the mat. Spinning behind his opponent, Royal grabs Clark in a seated waistlock. Judge: And just as quickly, Royal gains an advantage, grounding Clark and locking him up. Ejiro: Wait. Quickly? Or speedily? I’m confused… Annie: You’re a moron. Kicking his feet up, Royal releases his hands, locking a body scissors on the European Champion. Clark struggles to escape, but Todd leans back, squeezing his legs together and crushing his opponent’s ribs. Alan continues to struggle, so changing strategy, Royal spins to his side with him, maintaining the hold and pinning Clark’s shoulders to the mat. ONE!… . . . . . KICKOUT! Alan’s shoulders are on the mat for only a few moments, however, as he uses his momentum to keep rolling, kicking out and rolling over again. Todd growls and keeps rolling himself, not pausing to make a cover, but rolling Clark over several times as he makes his way across the ring. Finally coming to a stop where he began, Royal smirks as he soaks in the boos of the crowd. Judge: Todd busts out the Dory Funk roll on Alan Clark!! Ejiro: Old School~! With Clark dizzy from the roll, Todd releases his legs and swings away from the body scissors. Sliding forward, Royal grabs Alan into a side headlock, pulling him forward and grinding him headfirst into the mat. Clark climbs to his knees, attempting to shove his opponent off, but Todd grabs tightly to the hold, refusing to slide off. Clark responds by dropping backwards, pinning Royal’s shoulders to the mat. ONE!… . . . . . TWO!!… . . . . KICKOUT!! Ejiro: Who does Clark think he is, trying to pin Todd off a headlock reversal!! That’s blasphemous! Todd once again asserts his position in control of the headlock as he brings Clark up to his knees. Working up to a standing base, however, Alan hits the ropes- charging forward and tossing the world champion off of him. Hitting the ropes, Todd ducks under a leapfrog and crosses the ring. Alan drops to the mat and lifts up his legs, anticipating Royal’s rebound and setting up for a monkey flip. Putting on the brakes, however, Todd stops short of his opponent, delivering a pair of shin strikes to the outstretched legs. Annie: Quick criss-cross by Alan Clark, but Todd puts a stop to it again and lays into him with some stiff blows. Judge: You can see the contrast in approaches to this match by the competitors. Alan is looking to wear Todd down with speed and throws, while Royal is working Clark over with blows to try and take Alan out of this match. Ejiro: And I think we ALL know who’s got the right idea there. Alan’s going to have to hobble to the Christmas show just to deliver the European Title to Todd. With the European champion down on the mat, Royal grabs his extended left leg. Planting his own heel on the side of the knee, Todd quickly jerks the limb, eliciting a scream from Clark. Royal simply smirks as he releases the hold, throwing up his hands and celebrating for the crowd. Ejiro: Stand up and cheer that man!! That was an excellent knee-wrench-thingy!! Annie: You suck. The World Champion spins around to continue the assault, but is surprised as Alan rocks back on his hips, kipping up and locking his legs around Royal’s neck. Rolling to the canvas, Clark rana’s Todd over, landing on his chest and calling for Eddy Long to make the count. ONE!… . . . . . . TW… . . . KICKOUT!! Judge: Another quick cover off a nice rana by Alan Clark, but another kickout by Todd Royal. Ejiro: Of course, it takes a force of nature greater than the Force of Todd to put Royal down for the count. And NO man possesses that! Annie: Except, y’know, Spike Jenkins. Ejiro: Well, yea…NO!! That was a fluke!! A ripple in the grand plan of Todd!! I don’t even know what you’re referring to. Shut up! Todd shoves Alan foreward, breaking the cover, and sliding to his knees. As Royal gets his bearings, Alan hits the opposite ropes, quickly charging back at his opponent. As Clark drops down to hit a baseball slide, however, Todd slides out of the way, avoiding contact. Alan scrambles to reverse direction, but Royal is one step ahead, driving the bridge of his foot up and into his opponent’s nose. Clark’s head snaps up briefly, before slumping to the canvas, and Todd grins as he grabs his opponent by the collar. Lifting him off the canvas, Royal lights him up with a knife-edge chop to the sternum. Clark hits the ropes, but comes back firing, driving the ridge of his hand into his opponent’s chest. *SMACK!* “WHOOOOOOOOO!!!” *SMACK!* “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!” *SMACK!* “WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!” *SMACK!* “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!” The competitors trade stinging chops on the ropes, but instead of responding to Royal’s third blow, Clark ducks his head and charges past Todd. The World Champion spins around, but Alan leaps into the air, kicking out his legs and clothes lining Todd to the canvas. Annie: Enziguri by Alan Clark!! Ejiro: Well, THAT’s not going to finish Todd off! Royal crashes to the mat, but Clark doesn’t let up. Getting to his feet and turning his back to his opponent, Alan leaps into the air. Flipping backwards, Clark goes head-over-heels, landing across the World Champion’s chest and hooking his legs. The crowd erupts, as Long hits the mat to make the count. Judge: THAT might… Ejiro: CRAP! ONE!… . . . . . . . TWO!!… . . . . . . KICKOUT!! Ejiro: Whew… Judge: You can definitely see the differences emerging in how these guys are looking to finish this match. Todd has been slowly striking, working on injuring Alan and keeping him out of the pay per view. Clark meanwhile, while has gone for a series of quick pinfalls, looking to get to the World Title match. Todd angrily tosses Clark off him again, but Alan rolls to the ropes and lowers his head. As Royal scrambles to his feet, the European Champion charges, leaping into the air. Sticking out his hand, Clark looks to hit a bulldog that will take his opponent out. He grabs nothing but air, however, as Todd ducks, and Alan crashes to the mat. Upon impact, Alan immediately grabs at his spine. Royal adds to the pain, stepping back and hitting a stiff shot to the small of Clark’s back. The European champion noticeably winces, stiffening his back as Todd sizes him up. Taking a forward leap, Royal grabs his opponent by the neck, doubling him over. Judge: Nice neck-snap by Todd Royal, sticking to his strategy of slowly and methodically working Alan over. Alan may need to rethink his gameplan if he wants to take Royal down tonight. With The European Champion in obvious pain, Todd grabs his left leg again. Clark fights to escape, but Royal has the leverage, powering Alan over and sitting down on his back with a single leg Boston Crab. Annie: Another move by Todd that works over that knee, while softening the back and spine to keep Alan grounded. Clark claws for the ropes, but a snarling Todd Royal just cinches the hold in tighter, leaning back and laying into the knee with forearm shots to increase the pain. “AL-AN!” “AL-AN!” “AL-AN!” As the crowd cheers the Happiest man in the World on, Alan grits his teeth and plants his hands on the canvas. Pressing against the mat, Clark pushes up, raising Todd up into the air. With a glimmer of hope shining within reach, the European Champion lunges forward, just missing the bottom rope. Annie: SO Close!! Royal takes a moment to regain his footing however, and Alan’s outstretched fingers wrap around the lower cable. The crowd erupts, as Eddy Long steps in, calling for Todd to break the hold. Judge: And on the second try, Alan Clark makes the ropes!! Todd’s going to have to break that hold now, and Alan’s got a chance to even up the playing field right now. Ejiro: I wouldn’t go that far, partner. The damage is done to the knee and back of Alan Clark, and he’s going to have a real hard time getting those quick impact moves he’s been going for. Despite Long’s urgings, however, Royal refuses to break the hold he has his opponent trapped in. Stepping off of Clark, but maintaining his grip on Alan’s left leg. Dragging Clark into the middle of the ring, Royal begins to twist on the limb, drawing the ire of the official. Before Long can disqualify him however, Clark hops up on one foot, spinning around and clocking his opponent with a spin kick. Annie: NICE move by Alan to break the hold!! That’s the quickness and agility of Alan Clark breaking through again there. Ejiro: Now DON’T start that again!! Instead of going for the cover this time, however, Clark drops down with an elbow to the back of Royal. Todd grunts and tightens up, as Alan positions his knee in the World Champion’s spine. Leaving his left knee loose, Clark grabs Todd around the neck with his right arm. Wrapping his left arm around his opponent’s legs, Alan leans back into a modified Bow-and-Arrow. “LET’S GO CLARK!” “LET’S GO CLARK!” “LET’S GO CLARK!” As the crowd cheers him on, Clark breaks the hold, maintaining his grip on Royal’s neck however. As Todd spins to the mat, Clark begins to climb to his feet, dragging his opponent up with him. The World Champion tries to fight out, but Clark spins around, bringing his forearm down across Todd’s neck, sending him crashing hard to the mat. “YEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!” Judge: CUTTING IN LINE!! Annie: Alan hits the Cutting in Line!! What a big move for the European Champion! That could put Todd away!! The crowd quiets however, as Alan does not go immediately for the cover. Moving instead to the feet of his opponent, Clark picks Royal’s feet up from the canvas. Pointing to the crowd, Alan steps through Todd’s legs, wrapping the black and blue flaming legs around his own. The crowd erupts, as the European Champ turns around and sits down, pulling up on Royal’s legs. Ejiro: Sharpshooter! Todd Damnit! Judge: Noticeable change of strategy for Alan Clark! Early on, it seemed like he was trying to finish this match off quickly to move on to the title match, but instead of covering after that Cutting in Line, he goes for a submission move. Annie: Alan knows he HAS to wear Royal down if he wants to win on Pay Per View. He’s already weakened by Todd, and he has to even the score going in. Knowing he’s too far away from the ropes to crawl to a clean break, Todd squirms onto his side. Reaching forward, Royal grabs Alan around the left leg. Clark leans back even further, trying to get out a submission, but Todd jerks back, ripping at Alan’s knee and breaking the hold. As The European champion hits the canvas, Todd crawls across the ring to safety. Smiling slightly, Clark spins back to his feet. At the same time, Royal climbs back to a standing base, and the two men meet in the middle of the ring. Todd unleashes another stiff chop, but Clark ducks, catching the spinning Royal and hooking him around the waist. Ejiro: Todd fires back! And…damn… Lifting the World Champion up, Clark brings his opponent down spine-first across his right knee. As Royal limps forward, Clark dives ahead, hitting a low clothesline to the chest and doubling Todd over. Royal can’t get out of the way before Alan hit’s the next move, leaping into the air and hitting a bulldog to plant the champion on the canvas. As the crowd roars, Alan hit’s the ropes running, springing off the middle cable and hitting a lionsault to the spine. Annie: A Walk in the Park to Todd Royal!! And it’s got to feel like anything but for the World Heavyweight Champ!! Judge: A great series of moves, strung together seamlessly by Alan Clark! And we’ve definitely seen Alan get more aggressive as this match wears on, and that could be the end of the line for Todd! Ejiro: No! I believe in Todd!! Flipping Royal over onto his back, Alan flops down on top of his opponent, hooking the leg and going for the pin. ONE!… . . . . . . . TWO!!… . . . . . . THR… . . . . . KICKOUT!! “AAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!” Ejiro: Todd lives!! Royal won’t be put away by any “Walk in the park”. It’s gonna take a freakin marathon in the marsh to put the champ down!! Annie:… Clark is obviously disappointed at the two count, but is quick to roll off of Royal and continue the attack. Pointing to the top rope, Clark grins widely, as the crowd in the Ballroom erupts in cheers. Annie: HERE we go!! Judge: Alan Clark heading for the high-rent district!! Possibly going for that 450 Splash, the Fauntleroy!! Ejiro: That’s STILL the dumbest name for a wrestling move EVER. Leaving Todd huffing and aching on the mat, Clark grabs a hold of the top rope. Pulling himself up, Clark’s grin grows along with each turnbuckle he climbs. Reaching the top rope, Alan stops only momentarily to rub his knee. Pointing at the sky and rolling his hands around in the “tumbleweed” signal, Clark leaps into the air. Spinning around 180 degrees before ducking his head and flipping forward, Alan barrels toward the canvas. Judge: Phoenix Splash!! What a move by Alan Clark!! Annie: Amazing height and rotation by the European Champ!!! *CRASH!* “OOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!” Ejiro: YES! He missed! Take that Mouse-Boy!! Annie: Back when he was known as Bloodshed, Alan Clark referred to that as the “True Grace”. It’s an impressive move, but it was while attempting that move in his first SJL match that he was taken out and pinned! Ejiro: Lets try that again!! Thinking along the same lines as Ejiro, Royal hurdles over his opponent, cradling him around the neck and knees. Rolling Alan onto his shoulders, Todd locks his hands in an Oklahoma Roll. ONE!… . . . . . . . TWO!!… . . . . . . THR… . . . . . KICKOUT!! Ejiro: Gah… Judge: Kickout at two!! This time the story is different for Alan Clark!! He’s still alive! Ejiro: Not for long!! He’s about to feel the hand of Todd crash down upon him!! Outside the ring, Megan screams at the referee for a slow count. Todd takes little time to argue, however, grabbing Alan by the back of his jumpsuit and lifting him off the mat. Sliding behind his opponent, and wrapping his arms around Alan’s waist, Todd hooks Clark between the legs. Lifting the European champion into the air and spinning him around, Royal drives Alan’s shoulders to the mat. Ejiro: Blue Thunder Bomb!! Annie: Big move by Todd Royal, but again, Royal is not going for the cover, choosing instead to try and injure Clark. Ejiro: Well, Alan tried to pin Royal. That’s obviously an insult to the champion and his pride. Clark should know he stands no chance, and should just lie down and get pinned. Now Todd has to teach him a lesson. Leaving Alan lying on the canvas, Royal turns his opponent over onto his chest. Stepping behind of the Happiest Man on Earth, Todd grapevines Clark’s legs with his own. Falling forward next to Alan, Royal grabs him in a facelock, yanking him backwards in an STF. “ROYAL SUCKS!” “ROYAL SUCKS!” “ROYAL SUCKS!” With the crowd firmly against the World Heavyweight Champion, his opponent begins to fight back against the hold. Clawing and scratching, Clark begins to drag Todd toward the ropes. Seeing another rope break in his future, Royal breaks the hold, grabbing Alan around the neck and spinning him back into the middle of the ring. Judge: Last time Todd had Alan in a submission hold and Clark made the ropes, Clark took the advantage and nearly put Royal away. Todd is being more proactive this time, breaking the hold on his own and keeping momentum on his side. Grabbing Clark in a front-facelock, Todd smirks mildly and draws his thumb across his throat. Bunching his opponent’s clothes at the waist, and grabbing a handful, Royal throws Clark’s arm over his head. Jamming his foot into the mat, Todd snaps back, drilling Alan hard into the canvas. Ejiro: Snap Suplex!! Rolling his hips and keeping both of his handles on his opponent, Royal spins to his feet again. Taking a deep breath and lifting Clark into the air, Todd arcs backwards, dropping Alan onto the mat again. Ejiro: Vertical Suplex!! Another roll of the hips has both men standing on the mat again. Pausing for a moment, Todd collects himself and tightens his grip. Lifting the European Champion high into the air, Royal stops, holding Alan upside down in mid-air. Kicking out his feet and falling back, Todd drops Clark flat on the mat for a third time. Ejiro: Delayed Suplex!! Judge: That’s the Trinity by Todd Royal!! Big series of suplex that could be the end for the Happiest Guy on Earth!! Annie: And now floating over, Royal going for a cover. ONE!… . . . . . . . TWO!!… . . . . . . THR… . . . . . . . . EEE… . . . . . . . NO!!! “YEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!” Annie: Kickout!! What a kickout by Alan Clark!! He’s digging down deep and fighting with his heart now!! Ejiro: Eh, heart don’t win championships, baby!! Letting out a roar, Royal gets right in the face of Eddy Long. Slamming his fist into his hand three times, the World Champion is obviously incredibly frustrated. As he steps to the feet of Alan Clark, Todd uses his hand to make the “last rites” cross in the air in front of him, punctuating it by pulling his thumb across his throat on the final pass. Ejiro: YES! Here comes the Wrath of Todd!! As Royal pulls Clark’s legs into the air, however, Clark gets a second wind. Thrusting his feet forward and planting them in the sternum of his opponent, Alan kicks Todd hard into the turnbuckles. Annie: Alan keeps fighting!! He fights out of the Wrath of Todd, and Disney’s favorite champion is still alive!! As Todd’s head snaps back, and he slumps in the corner, Alan spins to his feet. Wiping the sweat from his face, Clark charges in. Flipping upside-down, and planting his hands on the mat, the European Champion cartwheels across the ring. As he hits his feet again, however, Alan leaps into the air, kicking out his feet and clocking Todd across the side of the head. Judge: Tidal Crush! That’s the Wreck of the Miss Tilly!! “AL-AN!” “AL-AN!” “AL-AN!” As Todd slumps in the corner, and the fans rise to their feet, Alan hit’s the mat as well, holding onto his left knee and wincing in pain. With the crowd cheering him on, Clark flashes a pained smile, and tires to pill himself to his feet. Hobbling to the corner, Alan pulls his opponent up and tries to send him into the ring. Catching the European Champion in a weakened state, however, Todd lifts Clark high into the air. Spinning a few degrees, Royal drops to the canvas, drilling Alan with a spine buster. Ejiro: What a move!! That’s got to be it!! Lifting Alan’s legs into the air again, Todd grabs a hold onto the right limb. Spinning around, Royal lets out a “WHOOOOO!” of victory and reaches down for the weakened left leg. As he grabs Clark’s ankle, however, Alan reaches up, cradling Royal’s neck and rolling back. The crowd erupts as Clark rolls on top of Todd, holding him to the canvas in a small package. Annie: REVERSAL!! Alan reversed the Wrath of Todd into a Small package!! Ejiro: NOO!! Kick OUT Todd Dammit!!! For the people!! ONE!… . . . . . . . . TWO!!… . . . . . . . THR… . . . . . . EEEE….. . . . . . . THREE!! Ejiro: NOOOO!!! KICKOUT!! Ejiro: YESSSSSSS!!! Judge: Royal kicks out just before the count of Three!!! Annie: That was as close a near-fall as I’ve ever seen! We were milliseconds away from a new #1 contender for the World Title!! Kicking out of the small package, a shocked and wide-eyed Todd Royal rolls across the ring. Scowling and seething, Todd watches as an exhausted Clark lies spread out on the canvas, panting and barely moving. Nodding his head, Royal heads for the turnbuckles. Climbing slowly and methodically, Royal grins smugly as he reaches the top rope. Ejiro: Moonsault coming up!! This is going to be the final blow! We’re gonna have a new European Champ! Annie: This isn’t a title match! Even if Royal wins this match, all he gets is a shot at the title! Ejiro: Bah. That’s just a formality. Once Clark gets beat for the second time by Todd Royal tonight, I doubt he’ll even show up at the Pay Per View. And if he does…well you know as well as I do he doesn’t stand a Todd’s honest chance. As Royal braces himself for the backflip, Alan Clark gathers all of his strength. Heaving out with a massive breath, Clark throws himself at the ropes, shaking the ring structure and dropping Todd crotch-first onto the top turnbuckle. “YYEEAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!” Judge: Alan Clark is still breathing!! Annie: And after THAT impact, Todd may not be! Tears well in the World Champion’s eyes as his jaw drops and he clutches at the area of impact. As the fans rise as one, and Megan screeches from ringside, a groggy and limping Alan Clark staggers over to the corner. Sliding behind his opponent and pulling Royal’s back over his shoulder, Clark grinds his teeth and steps slowly out of the corner. His left leg shaking, Clark lunges forward, dropping to his knees and bringing Todd down with him, spine-first across his shoulder. Annie: MONORAILER!!! What a gutsy move by Clark!! Ejiro: Todd Almighty, this can’t be happening!! Clark drops Todd from his shoulder, and immediately clutches his left leg. The roar of the crowd snaps Alan back to life, however, and he slumps his body over that of Todd, hooking the left leg and putting all his weight on Royal’s shoulders. As Eddy Long drops to his knees, the crowd counts along. ONE!… . . . . . . . . TWO!!… . . . . . . . . THR… . . . . . . . . EEEEEE…. . . . . . . . THREE!! Ejiro: NOOOOO!!!! *DING* *DING* *DING* Annie: YES!! Alan Clark has defeated Todd Royal with the Monorailer, and he’ll receive a shot at the World Title live on Pay Per View!! Funyon: Ladies and Gentlemen…Your Winner by pinfall…and the number one contender to the SJL World Heavyweight Wrestling Championsip… “THE HAPPIEST GUY ON EARTH” …ALAN CLARK!! As the crowd erupts, Alan Clark raises his head off the mat and pumps his fist in the air. Eddy Long slides out of the ring to retrieve the European Title, but as he does, Megan Skye slides into the ring. Grabbing Alan from behind, the petite valet chokes the victor, dragging him to the mat. Judge: What in the world is Megan Skye doing in the ring?!? As the fans rain down boos, the camera swings to the entrance way, where Landon Maddix has burst through the curtain. Holding a chair in his hands, Maddix slides into the ring. Eddy Long, now on the apron, ducks a chair shot and dives of the apron, as Maddix brings the chair down across the knee of Clark. Alan howls in pain, as Megan releases her grip, and helps Todd to his feet. Annie: This is disgusting! Landon Maddix used to be a great wrestler, now Todd Royal has him brainwashed into Pearl Harboring Alan Clark with a chair! Ejiro: Y’know, I’m really starting to like this guy. Back to his feet, Todd Royal begins to climb the turnbuckles again as Maddix and Skye slide the chair over Clark’s left leg and pin him to the mat. The fans jeering reaches near riot proportions as Todd leaps from the top rope, coming down on the chair and snapping it on Alan’s knee. The European Champion screams in pain as referees swarm the ring. *DING* *DING* *DING* Judge: This is getting out of control. These fans are about to jump the rails themselves!! Grabbing the chair, Landon Maddix swings it over the ropes, keeping the officials out of the ring. As Clark fights weakly back, Megan and Todd drag him to the corner, crotching him around the ring post and sliding out of the ring. As Skye and Maddix block the officials from the ring, Todd grapevines Clark’s legs. Falling back, Royal locks on the ringpost Figure 4. Ejiro: Wrath of Todd around the ringpost!! NICE!! Annie: You’re a sick man…Clark could be permanently injured… *DING* *DING* *DING* As officials break through, Royal breaks the hold and slides into the ring. Landon and Megan follow him in, holding both title belts. As the refs tend to Clark, Todd poses in the ring, holding the World Heavyweight Title. Landon holds the European belt, and as the camera zooms in on the trio, the crowd begins to hurl soda and hotdog wrappers into the ring. Judge: Folks, we’re out of time. We’ve seen some great matches here tonight, and an amazing performance by Alan Clark, but we go off the air with a brutal attack from Todd Royal, Megan Skye and Landon Maddix. Hopefully Alan’s leg is not broken, but we’ll update you on the next big SJL show! Stay tuned!!

Back to SJL Crimson...and to the rocking Hammerstein Ballroom, where the heavily ECW influenced fans are on their feet, most of them in a chant of “SJL…SJL…SJL”. As they continue their chants, the scene cuts over to Annie Eclectic, Ejiro Fasaki and William Hearford at the announce position, waiting for their cues to begin. As usual, Ejiro is slowest to react to the cue, still admiring his reflection in his SWF Tag Team Title belt. “Welcome back to SJL Crimson! ‘Judge Mental’ William Hearford here with Annie Onita, along with Ejiro Fasaki…and his reflection.” “Not to mention his ego…that deserves a separate mention.” adds Annie, as Ejiro looks up angrily. “Indeed.” replies Judge, before Ejiro gets chance to. “Well, tonight we’re coming off the back of a memorable edition of SJL Wrath…and the aftermath from that amazing night is certain to be felt here in our next match. It’s Aecas versus Landon Maddix once more…with Aecas looking for revenge, after Maddix ‘cheated 2 win’ in their match last week. BUT, this time…Hollywood Spike Jenkins has been added to the festivities for a three way dance. And of course, on Wrath…Spike made the champ ta…” “HOLD UP!” yells Ejiro, breaking from his gold filled daze. “Ok, Spike Jenkins did beat Todd Royal, but it was Alan Clark’s fault. Spike Jenkins is NOTHING on Todd Royal, and that was a total fluke on Wrath. Spike STILL SUCKS!” “Thank you Ejiro…” Judge sarcastically replies. “Anyway, as I was saying…Spike made the World Champion tap out last week, and therefore has been added to this match…” “Yes, because this one is for the number one contendership to the World Title.” adds Annie. “But also, a special stipulation has been added by Commissioner Raynor to make things a little more interesting. We’ll let Funyon explain that in just a moment…” The camera cuts away from the announcers, and into the ring where Funyon stands center stage, with referee Sexton Hardcastle in the ring with him…and Matthew Kivell on the outside. “Ladies and gentlemen…the following triangle match is for the number one contendership to the SJL WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP!!!” The crowd pop for Funyon’s booming intro, but die down again as he puts the microphone to his mouth again. “The rules for this match are as follows. All three men will start in the ring. When a pinfall, submission or disqualification occurs, the loser will be eliminated from the match for one minute. If he interferes in the in-ring action during that minute, he will be permanently eliminated. He can however interact OUTSIDE of the ring. Once the minute is up, the combatant may re-enter the match. The match continues until two men are eliminated within the one minute period, and the survivor will be the number one contender to the SJL World Championship.” “God…you need a degree to understand those rules.” comments Ejiro. “Luckily, I’ve got a couple laying around at home…so I’m Ok.” Suddenly, the lights dim down to mild cheers from the crowd. A multitude of light blue lights begin flashing from the entrance stage, as "Not Today" by Hotwire starts up. After a few seconds, "Hollywood" Spike Jenkins walks out from the backstage area and stops at the entrance ramp, the hood of his jacket covering his head, staring at the ground whilst the crowd cheer the rightful World Champion. White pyro explodes from both sides of Spike, as Spike starts hopping around, getting warmed up. “Introducing first, combatant number one.” interrupts Funyon. “From Hollywood CALIFORNIA!!! Weighing in at two hundred and twenty five pounds…the former SJL World Heavyweight Champion…”HOLLYWOOD”…SPIKE…JEEENKIIINSSS!!!” Spike makes his way through the pyro, and starts his journey to the ring as the crowd are cheering for Spike much louder than usual. Climbing up onto the ring apron, and stepping through the ring ropes into the ring, Spike pulls back the hood over his head, and holds his arms out, doing a little spin…a broad smile on his face. Very suddenly however, Spike disappears as a sea of darkness descends across the Hammerstein Ballroom. Suddenly, the big screen kicks into life as Aecas’ trademark entrance video begins to play. "Are you scared?" The crowd are buzzing, as the words kick in again…echoed by the crowd… "HE'S..HERE.....!!!" Dark Funeral's "Dead Skin Mask" hits, as the crowd erupt in the background...all the while, Aecas' video playing on the big screen through the now eeiry red lit arena. Smoke begins to billow up from the entrance way, as a figure can be scene in amongst the smoke...the large staff in his hand as instantly recognizable as the figure itself. “Hailing from Shrewsbury, England...he weighs three hundred and fifteen pounds. This is the Black Angel. This...IS...AAAEEECCCAAASSS!!!" The crowd pop, as Aecas steps from out of the smoke, and paces down the aisle. Stopping halfway, Aecas looks around the crowd and snaps the blade up on the scythe, before continuing on. “You can bet Aecas is in a bad mood tonight, after what happened on Wrath.” comments Judge. “When is he ever in a GOOD mood Judge?” points out Ejiro. Aecas lays his scythe down at the side of the ring, and slowly enters the ring, Spike understandably now on the outside. The lights slowly return to normal, as Aecas stands in the centre of the ring, glaring up the aisleway and not paying any attention to Spike. The man he wants to go after you see, is yet to have made his appearance. All around the arena, chants of “Landon…Landon…Landon” ring out, as an impatient Aecas glares at Hardcastle, almost encouraging him to hurry Maddix up himself. "An' I'm sailin'...yeah!" “RRRAAAAAAHHH!!!” The crowd suddenly start to cheer WILDLY, as The Red Hot Chili Peppers’ classic “Suck My Kiss” hits. Snarling in the ring at the crowd reaction, Aecas moves closer to the ropes as out from the back steps Landon Maddix, causing the cheers to intensify. Despite the taped ribs, Maddix seems in a good mood this week…taking time to tag hands with as many fans as possible on the way to the ring. “And finally…he is from Huron, South Dakota. Weighing in tonight at two hundred and four pounds…he is LANDON…’LA CUCARACHA’…MAAADDIIIX!!!” The crowd explode, as Maddix continues to tag hands…until getting near the ring, and stopping. Aecas is now right up against the ropes, just waiting on the kid to enter the ring. The music continues in the background, as Maddix suddenly looks around the arena, and encourages everyone to sing along!?! Some do, and Maddix certainly does, looking up at Aecas as he does… "Hit me you can't hurt me... SUCK MY KISS!" Incensed, Aecas starts to step to the outside…but is stopped by referee Hardcastle. Aecas quickly pushes him away…but is ambushed from behind by Spike! *DING DING* The bell rings, as Spike fire away with rights and lefts to Aecas…Maddix quickly rolling in, and joining in with Spike. Aecas is suddenly a human punching bag, as both Landon and Spike fire away with punches relentlessly. Eventually the punches force Aecas to the outside, at which point Spike and Landon turn to each other, and continue firing away with right hands. Spike is first to stop, and he goes for an irish whip on Maddix which is instantly reversed by Maddix. Spike ends up being sent to the ropes, and Maddix waits...backdropping Spike over the top rope, and onto Aecas... ...Aecas however shows great strength by catching Spike in mid air, and driving him ribs first into the steel ring post!!! "What amazing strength by The Black Angel!" exclaims Annie. "He caught Spike effortlessly, and drove him into the ring post just as easily!" With Spike disposed of, Aecas steps back onto the apron, but gets met with a forearm from Maddix. Maddix swings with a second forearm, but Aecas blocks it and shoves Maddix across the ring with one powerful shove. Stepping back in, Aecas drops into a crouching position and charges forward looking for a Gore...but Maddix manages to dive out of the way, causing Aecas to dive straight into the second rope. Maddix sees this, and runs off the ropes quickly...but Aecas is already up... GOOORRREEE!!! Aecas almost breaks Landon in half with the Gore, and makes the cover... ...ONE... ...TWO... ...T... ...TWO! "Not only is Aecas strong, he's as intense as they come..." comments Judge. "That Gore was all about intensity!" "He's a damn psycho!" adds Ejiro. "Even worse...he's an angry psycho." Maddix is pulled up to his feet by Aecas, and placed in a pumphandle position, ready for the Dragon Driver...but frees his right arm, and fights back with elbows from nowhere. Aecas breaks the pumphandle to drive a forearm into Maddix's ribs, before re-setting him...as Spike Jenkins rolls back into the ring behind Aecas. The Black Angel hoists Maddix up into the air with the pumphandle, only for Spike to reach up and pull Maddix from Aecas' grasp. Slowly Aecas turns around, to be met with a double clothesline by the two opponents! "Spike and Landon are teaming together here, and that's smart." comments Annie. "Smart, but not fair. They can't win alone, so they have to team up on poor Aecas." replies Ejiro. "Poor Aecas? Poor Aecas is seven foot, three hundred pounds." "He's still fighting two men!" Aecas gets back up, to be met with a second double clothesline. Quickly the big man is back up again, and sticking to the game plan Spike and Landon charge again... ...only to be met with a double clothesline from Aecas! Spike is laid flat out as Aecas grabs Maddix by the hair, and pulls him up to his feet. A quick knee to the gut doubles Landon over, before pulling him into a powerbomb position. Hoisting Maddix up, Aecas lets Maddix drop down, hanging upside down, blood rushing to his head. Slowly Aecas starts to spin around…and unlike on Wrath, Aecas hits the Executioner!!! Aecas makes the darkness style pin, as referee Hardcastle makes the count… …ONE… …TWO… …T… …H… …REE! Maddix gets pinned by Aecas. Funyon: “Landon Maddix, the loser of the fall. Maddix’s one minute isolation begins now!” Maddix is still out cold, unable to fight even if the rule wasn’t in effect. His limp body his rolled to the outside by Aecas, who then turns to Spike and grabs the former World Champion off the mat. Spike too is weak, as Aecas dumps him over his shoulder effortlessly. Spike however manages to quickly escape, and run off to the ropes…into a big boot to the face! “Aecas has to get the pin on Spike within…roughly 50 seconds…to win this match right now. Can he do it?” questions Judge. “Of course he can…Spike SUCKS!” adds Ejiro. Spike is out cold, Aecas quickly making a cover… …ONE… …TWO… …T… …KICKOUT!!! Aecas looks surprised, as he angrily drives an elbow into Spike’s forehead. Again Aecas seems to make a cover…but as Hardcastle goes down for the count, he notices that Aecas is actually choking Spike, and tries to make the Black Angel break the hold. Meanwhile on the outside, Landon is just about coming too, with almost half his minute out gone. Aecas eventually breaks the choke, and drags Spike up to his feet…where Spike suddenly mounts a comeback, nailing a flurry of forearms! The crowd are buzzing, getting behind Spike as Aecas suddenly lunges forward, missing a clothesline. Aecas turns around, as Spike goes for a hurricanrana…but Aecas blocks, Spike in the position for the Executioner! “It’s gonna be over!” shouts Ejiro, as Aecas starts spinning around… …but during the spin, Spike grabs a hold of the middle rope, and manages to escape by pulling himself out of Aecas’ grip. Aecas quickly nails a hard kick to Spike’s chest to stop him building any momentum, and irish whips Spike into the turnbuckles…following in, as Spike lifts his legs up to block. Aecas manages to put the breaks on though, catch both Spike’s legs and pull him away from the turnbuckle, back in the Executioner position! Spike frantically reaches out for the ropes again, but Aecas this time spins away from the ropes…before dropping Spike right on his head!!! “Aecas was determined to hit that Executioner, and he did! This one is over!” says Judge. “Maybe not…Maddix’s only got five seconds left!” Annie points out. Aecas slowly makes the darkness cover… …as the minute is up! Funyon: “Landon Maddix is now back in this match…” …ONE… Landon scrambles back into the ring… …TWO… …T… …H… Suddenly, Maddix stops in his tracks, with a smile on his face… …REE! THREE! Funyon: “The loser of the fall…Spike Jenkins. Spike’s one minute isolation begins now!” Aecas looks surprised that the match isn’t over, arguing with referee Hardcastle…and not seeing Maddix charge from behind, and nail a shining wizard kick to the back of the head! Aecas crashes to the outside, as Spike is also rolled out. “Maddix was smart there, knowing he stood a better chance of winning if he didn’t break up the count on Spike.” points out Hearford. “Yeah…not entirely honourable, but smart nonetheless…” adds Annie. “Well, honourable or not, it’s good tactics.” Maddix strolls over to the corner of the ring, and leans against the turnbuckles looking rather relaxed, as Aecas takes his time getting back up. Spike however is out cold, unable to attack Aecas despite it being within the rules. “LANDON! LANDON! LANDON!” Slowly Aecas pulls himself up onto the apron as the crowd chants begin to build up. Once up on the apron, Aecas is met with right hands by Maddix, who seems intent on keeping Aecas at bay despite only having a minute to pick up a victory over him. The right hands slow Aecas down, to the point where he eventually slumps over the top rope, looking considerably dazed. Maddix takes this opportunity to run to the ropes, using the middle rope as a springboard to launch a dropkick at Aecas! “Springboard dropkick…” “BUT HE’S STILL ON HIS FEET!” gasps Ejiro. Maddix looks shocked as Aecas begins to get up from his knees, and runs off the ropes again. This time Maddix comes off the ropes, and goes for a clothesline…but is caught with one from the seven footer as a counter! Aecas is still unable to re-enter the ring though, still slumped over the ropes. Maddix slowly begins to get to his feet, as Spike’s time out continues to run down. “AECAS! AECAS! AECAS!” “The support has shifted in the big man’s favour all of a sudden” points out Hearford. “These damn fans are so fickle.” adds Ejiro. Maddix is up to his feet, and charging into the ropes again. This time as he comes back, Aecas sticks his right leg through the ropes and catches Maddix in the gut with a boot which backs him up a couple of steps. This gives Aecas time to step into the ring, as Maddix meanwhile begins yet another charge. His persistence doesn’t pay off, as Aecas backdrops Maddix out over the top rope… …Maddix lands on his feet, but is caught by the suddenly vertical Spike Jenkins… …AND DRILLED WITH THE HIGHLIGHTER!!! “Highlighter on the outside by Spike!!!” commentates Judge. ”That’ll crush Maddix’s ribs up once more…” “It might also cost that idiot Spike Jenkins the match if Aecas can pin Maddix within about…twenty seconds.” Ejiro as ever replies. Maddix clutches his ribs in pain, as Aecas sees this and goes to the outside. grabbing Maddix by the hair, Aecas starts to pull Landon up…but is suddenly shoved by Spike, and sent crashing forwards into the steel ring steps!!! “Well, Spike got rid of Aecas too!” “He still sucks…” Ejiro reminds us. With little more than ten seconds remaining, Spike grabs Aecas again, and rams him head first into the steel ring steps, and throws the big man back into the ring. Turning to Landon, “Hollywood” wastes the last five seconds of his isolation by stomping away on “La Cucaracha… Funyon: “Spike Jenkins is now back in this match…” Spike rolls back into the ring, and instantly makes a cover on Aecas… …ONE… …T… POWERFUL kickout by Aecas!!! “The big man is still too fresh to be pinned right now…” points out Hearford. “This is total CHAOS!” Annie suddenly changes the conversation. “It’s hard to keep up with this match, especially with these weird rules…” “I’m doing just fine…” Ejiro retorts. “You don’t matter. You’re only here to make wisecracks.” “And why exactly are you here?” “Children, please…” Judge interrupts. “Must we do this EVERY week?” Spike quickly gains his balance from being launched in the air by Aecas, and runs to the ropes. Going back to what worked earlier, Aecas goes for a big boot, but Spike manages to baseball slide under, and roll Aecas up with a schoolboy… …ONE… …TWO… …Again, Aecas powers out. Spike quickly hits a right hand, regains his bearings and hops up to the second rope. As he does, Landon Maddix manages to pull himself up onto the apron…as Spike sees him, and leaps off the middle rope, dropping Maddix throat first across the top strand violently. In the meantime, Aecas has been allowed up, and Spike hasn’t seen him. Turning around, Spike walks straight into a stiff clothesline by the seven footer, almost taking his head from off his shoulders! “There’s that viciousness from Aecas again…” observes Ejiro. “This is almost look a man playing with two kids in there.” “And that’s a dangerous prospect…” “Yeah…just look at Michael Jackson.” Annie comments. “Well…someone better call the lawyers, because we’re about to get sued.” replies Judge. Spike lays out cold in the middle of the ring, as Aecas suddenly starts to climb up to the top rope. The crowd rise to the their feet in anticipation as the seven foot gains an extra few feet, stopping on the top and measuring Spike. Showing no signs of movement, Spike is unable to move as Aecas comes flying off the top rope, getting awesome hang time on a Hard Rain!!! “THE HARD RAIN…THAT’S A SEVEN FOOT MAN DROPPING AN ELBOW FROM THE HEAVENS!!!” yells out an over-excited Judge. “HOLY SHIT…HOLY SHIT…HOLY SHIT!” chant the equally excited crowd, as Aecas looks a little in pain from his right shoulder. Still, he hooks Spike’s leg and makes the cover… …ONE… …TWO… …THREE!!! Funyon: “The loser of the fall…Spike Jenkins. Spike’s one minute isolation begins now!” “Well…Spike’s got another minute on the sidelines awaiting him…” Judge comments. “There was no WAY Spike was kicking out of that.” adds Ejiro. “And not just because he sucks. That was an incredible elbow drop.” Spike is slowly rolled from the ring by Hardcastle, as meanwhile a pained Maddix rolls back into the ring. Aecas meets him with stomps, looking slightly more hurried now as he drives his huge boot into Landon’s rib area repeatedly. Landon fights on regardless, and pulls himself to his feet only to have a stinging chop driven into his chest. Another couple follow before Aecas irish whips Maddix into the ropes. Maddix baseball slides through Aecas’ legs on the way back, and quickly gets up to lock on a sleeper hold! “SLEEPER!” unnecessarily yells Annie. Before Maddix can even lock in the sleeper properly, Aecas reaches back and grabs Maddix with a hand under each armpit. With brute strength Aecas throws Maddix forward over his head, but Landon manages to land on his feet and hit a mule kick to the ribs. Landon follows up with a European uppercut, before running to the ropes… …but is met with a vicious snap spinebuster! Landon clutches his ribs in pain, as Aecas quickly makes a cover… …ONE… …TWO… …T… …H… …NO!!! Spike is now up, leant against the apron watching on nervously. Aecas meanwhile gets back to his feet, and waits on Landon to do the same. Slowly he does, but seems to have one way on Aecas craftily. The big man charges forward, and lunges with a Yakuza Kick attempt, but Maddix ducks and for some reason attempts a german suplex. One pop of the hips, and a failed suplex attempt is enough to bring more pain back to Landon ribs, and allows Aecas to hit a hard back elbow. “No way…what was Landon thinking there?” asks Annie. “Well…” Ejiro’s typical reply begins… “He’s a moron. Landon has as much brain power as Spike does talent. Which is not a lot.” “Nice to see you being unbiased Ejiro…” Judge quickly mentions before Annie can reply. Aecas then runs to the ropes, and comes back with a big clothesline, knocking Landon down instantly. Aecas looks down at Spike for a moment, before turning back to Maddix and trying to lock on the Wings of Fire! Grabbing Landon’s wrists, Aecas has to contend with Landon’s struggling as he tries to place his legs in position… … Funyon: “Spike Jenkins is now back in this match…” Getting his cue, Spike launches into the ring and breaks up Aecas’ submission attempt with a dropkick to the jaw! Aecas shrugs off the blow, but Spike is a HOUSE…EN…FEUGO!!!…and starts to nail right hands on Aecas. Spike breaks momentarily to hit a boot to the gut…and attempts another, only for Aecas to catch the foot. Spike however counters with an Enziguri, dropping Aecas to his knees! “Spike is suddenly tearing up this ring! What a transformation from the past few months!” excitedly rambles Annie. Spike quickly scoots up to the top rope, and waits for Aecas to get up. As he does, the big man staggers away from the corner…and into a superkick from Landon Maddix! The first only staggers the big guy, so Maddix hits a second for good measure, knocking the Black Angel down. As soon as Aecas hits the mat, Spike launches from off the top rope, and hits The Ratings Grabber from high above, eliciting a huge pop from the crowd!!! Spike quickly makes a dramatic cover… …ONE… …TWO… …MADDIX DIVES ON TOP OF THE PIN… …T… …H… …REEE!!! Funyon: “The loser of the fall…Aecas. Aecas’ one minute isolation begins now!” As Aecas is rolled from the ring, both Maddix and Spike launch forward with frenzied right hands, the crowd now thoroughly into this match! Maddix gains the advantage for a moment with the right, but just as quickly HSJ fights back with rights of his own, rocking Maddix all the way back into the ropes. Spike then goes for an irish whip, which Maddix counters…and reverses by pulling Spike into a powerslam! “This match has suddenly exploded into life!” yells out Judge, obviously feeling the crowd’s excitement… Maddix makes a quick cover… …ONE… …TWO… …KICKOUT BY SPIKE! Maddix quickly gets back up, and starts to pull Spike up with him…only for Spike to break free, and catch Maddix from out of nowhere with an STO! Suddenly on the outside, Aecas grabs a steel chair, in a furious rage throwing the chair into the ring before trying to follow in. Referee Kivell tries to stop him, but is thrown mercilessly aside by the big man! “HEY!” Annie shouts, as Kivell crashes into the announce table. “This is crazy…Aecas is going to get himself disqualified!” Grabbing the chair, Aecas shoves Hardcastle aside too… …BEFORE CRACKING MADDIX OVER THE SKULL WITH THE CHAIR!!! *DING DING* Funyon: “Due to interference during the isolation period, Aecas has been disqualified!” “Aecas just eliminated himself from this match!” shouts out Judge. “He doesn’t care! He’s snapped…Aecas has lost it, and all he wants now is to destroy Maddix!” Ejiro gleefully replies. Spike stumbles over to Aecas, and receives a big boot to the face before Aecas raises the chair in the air again, and brings it down hard across Maddix’s prone body!!! Another hard chair shot follows, this time focused more on the ribs, as Aecas has indeed snapped. A fourth chair shot connects with the seemingly unconscious Maddix, before Aecas hurls the chair out of the ring, and angrily leaves the ring. “There goes a crazy man! And boy am I glad I’m not backstage right now, because that’s where Aecas is heading!” shouts Ejiro. “Well, we’re down to a one on one match now…Spike Jenkins versus…what’s left of Landon Maddix!” Judge tries to point the conversation back on track. As Hardcastle tries to get back to his feet, Spike is back up on his feet, watching Aecas leave. Surprisingly, Aecas is getting cheered by the New Yorkers despite his actions. Back in the ring, Spike looks down on Maddix who is now bleeding from the bridge of his nose, not knowing quite what to do. Eventually, the devil inside Spike wins over, as he goes over to Landon and begins to haul him up to his feet. Maddix’s limp body hangs loose, as Spike turns Maddix so he’s facing away from him…and locks on a reverse facelock. Suddenly spinning around wickedly, Spike nails the ‘Roll The Joint’ on Maddix, further knocking out the already out of it Maddix. “That’s got to be all…this one has got to be over!” Judge insists. “Spike is showing remorse…as much as I admire that, now is not the time.” comments Annie. Instead of going for the Silver Lining as he usually would, Spike hooks up Landon’s leg for a cover, as Hardcastle drops down… …ONE… …TWO… …T… …H… …R… …MADDIX KICKS OUT!!! The crowd ERUPT, as Maddix’s shoulder flies off the canvas at the last second!!! “The…HELL!?!” a stunned Ejiro mumbles. “MADDIX KICKED OUT! I DON’T BELIEVE IT!” yells Annie. Also unable to believe it, Spike quickly grabs Maddix’s head and belatedly locks on the Silver Lining…only for Maddix to suddenly thrust his knee upwards, and catch Spike in the forehead hard! Another couple of knees follow, until Spike’s grip loosens…and eventually breaks! “LANDON! LANDON! LANDON!” “RRRAAAAAAGGGHHH!!!” With whatever he has left, Maddix gets to his feet and starts trading punches with Spike, blood trickling down his nose. Spike has a look of shock etched on his face, unable to believe the fight back he is on the receiving end of. Eventually Spike gains his bearings and hits a knee to Landon’s ribs, before irish whipping him to the ropes. Spike waits as Maddix hits the ropes…but Landon suddenly leaves his feet, and NAILS a flying forearm! “This is INCREDIBLE!” Annie shouts out over the deafening crowd. Spike instinctively gets right back up, but is dropped straight away with a superkick!!! Wearily Maddix slumps to the mat, and into a cover on Spike… …ONE… …TWO… …T… …H… NNNOOOOOO!!! TWO ONLY! Maddix jumps right back up, the jump up making him feel a little more woozy. He shrugs that off quickly though, and runs off the ropes as Spike is getting up. Maddix attempts a swinging DDT on Spike, but Jenkins somehow manages to counter, and throws Maddix off. Landon lands hard chest and face first, and gets a 420 legdrop to the back of the head from Spike just to add to his woes. “Spike has fought off the onslaught…and this is a gripping match guys!” Annie still excitedly rambles like a little girl at Christmas…which, I guess she is… With Landon down, Spike quickly rushes up to the top rope, not stopping to build up the crowd on the way. As he gets to the top, Spike launches off the rope looking to land the Ratings Grabber to Maddix’s back…but as Spike descends to the mat, Maddix rolls out of the way, causing Spike to connect with nothing but canvas!!! Landon is quickly up, and catches Spike with an Oklahoma Roll… …ONE… …TWO… “THIS IS IT!” yells out The Judge uncharacteristically… …T… …H… SPIKE KICKS OUT AGAIN! “OOOOHHHHHHH!!!” Maddix holds his head in despair, the crowd letting out both sighs of relief and of disappointment at the same time. “I honestly thought that would do it for Maddix.” Judge breathlessly comments. “That’s how Landon won his debut, and he almost won with it here too.” “You’re full of useless facts aren’t ya partner.” Ejiro replies, clearly not caught up in the excitement himself. Maddix gets back to his feet, and pulls Spike up with him, nailing a knifedge chop. Spike wearily fires back with one of his own, only for Maddix to rapidly fire off a series of three right back! Maddix then hits a boot to the gut, and hooks Spike’s head and arm together. Before Maddix can pop the hips and hit a suplex, Spike starts to hit knees to the tender ribs, soon finding and escape. Out of desperation, Spike throws his boot upwards, catching Maddix in the chest and bringing him upright again, before going for a clothesline. Landon ducks that though, and as Spike turns around Landon goes for the superkick. Jenkins catches the leg, and ducks an Enziguri kick moments later…but gets rolled up by Maddix from nowhere. Not even a one can be registered as Spike rolls right through, but his disorientation causes him to walk straight into a boot to the gut… …Maddix quickly hooks Spike’s leg, and drops him to the mat with a vicious Fisherman’s Buster!!! “As we Japanese day…FISHERMAN’S BUSTAAA!!!” yells out Annie. Spike’s eyes roll into the back of his slightly, as Maddix meekly drops an arm over Spike’s motionless body… …ONE… …TWO… …T… …H… …R… …EEEEEEE!!! IT’S OVER!!! *DING DING* Funyon: “Spike Jenkins has been eliminated…your winner…and number one contender to the World Heavyweight Championship…LANDON ‘LA CUCARACHA’…MAAADDIIIX!!!” “Suck My Kiss” hits, as the crowd are going nuts! Landon has his limp hand raised in victory by referee Hardcastle, as the crowd’s cheers continue on…but are broken into by applause by certain fans. “Absolutely incredible! Landon Maddix fought back from a chair assisted attack by Aecas to win this match, and boy does he deserve it!” says Judge excitedly. “How!?!” exclaims Ejiro. “Aecas pinned BOTH these guys first…if it wasn’t for the stupid rules, Aecas would have won!” “True…but he knew the rules coming in too.” Weakly Maddix gets back up to his feet, using referee Hardcastle for support as his right hand is held aloft in the air, his left clutching at his ribs. Meanwhile Spike Jenkins is up too, also having to get support from the ropes to stand up. Eventually Landon breaks away from his celebrations to walk over to Spike…and the two exchange a very quick handshake, to rapturous applause from the crowd before Spike rolls from the ring, looking a little disheartened. “Great sportsmanship from these two men. Both men deserve this crowd’s applause…Aecas too, save for the chair attack.” Annie points out. “A great effort, and it’ll be interesting to see how Maddix fares in the new year when he gets his title shot.” “Well, with Todd as champion…he won’t fare too well.” Ejiro snaps. “Of course, it’s Todd Royal versus Alan Clark up next…but for now, we’ve got to go to a commercial break. Stay tuned to the SJL!” Judge finishes up, the Crimson goes to a break with Landon Maddix slowly making his way backstage, a victorious smile on his face.

“And I’ve just received a cell phone call from David Cross saying that he and Casey have been forced to get the last two hotel rooms in Chenango County,” says William Hearford. “That’s a few hundred miles west of here, so sadly, they won’t make the show, either.” “It’s a shame, that Casey kid,” Ejiro sighs. “Cross, not so much.” “What are you talking about?” says Annie, angry. “He’s a very talented youngster.” She sighs angrily, murmuring “Blargle” under her breath. “Eh. He’s a little swishy, too.”

“Unfortunately, fans,” says William Hearford, “Frankie Deed and Jacob Helmsley were unable to make it out for this show because they’re snowed in. Hopefully we’ll hear from Helmsley soon…” “What about Deed?” asks Annie. “Eh.” Ejiro shrugs. “I always thought he was a little swishy.”