Ace309

SJL CRIMSON CARD Date: Thursday, December 11, @ 6 PM EST Venue: Hammerstein Ballroom, New York SINGLES MATCH “Fruitie” Frankie Deed versus Jacob Helmsley Description: Unknown no more, Jacob Helmsley is probably going to tear through the JL with the use of a pipe. He didn’t do so well on Wrath, so let’s see how he handles the resident gay man. Rules: Standard match. DQ & Countout apply. EURO #1 CONTENDERSHIP David Cross vs Sean Casey Description: Two young lions vie for the European title. And I don’t have much more description than that. Rules: Standard match. DQ & Countout apply. WORLD CONTENDERSHIP TRIANGLE MATCH WITH THOTH’S SPECIAL STIP Aecas vs “Hollywood” Spike Jenkins vs Landon “La Cucaracha” Maddix. Description: Though if Alan Clark wins, he gets a shot at the title, one of these three can also earn that right in a very strategic match.. Rules: Alright, this is a bit complicated. Here goes: When someone is pinned, submits, or is DQ’ed, he is eliminated for one minute. In that minute, he must go to the outside. He cannot interfere with action inside the ring. If he does so, he is permanently eliminated from the match, and the remaining two continue as if it were a singles match. However, should they fall to the outside... they are fair game. The match is won when, during a one-minute period where a man is on the outside, another fall is made inside the ring between the remaining two wrestlers. The winner of THAT fall wins the match. MAIN EVENT THE FIRST MEETING Todd Royal vs Alan Clark Description: Todd Royal has an enemy in Alan Clark. Alan CLark hates Todd Royal. They’ve been getting at each other for the past few weeks, and now they have their match. The winner gets a shot at the loser’s title at the upcoming Christmas show! Rules: Standard match. DQ & Countout Apply.

TWAS THE FIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS 2003!!! AN SWF PAY-PER-VIEW EXTRAVAGANZA! FEATURING… Annie "Ichiban" Onita versus John "The Sinner" Duran versus Stryke versus Johnny Dangerous - If Stryke wants this, he's got it, although Duran's going to put up a hell of a fight. And I'm intentionally not making reference to Carless Mark Jindrak despite there being a PT Cruiser at stake. "Judge Mental" William Hearford versus ??? - I think I know who Question Mark Man is, and if QMM is going to do what he wants to, he better pull this out right now. I think he can, and I think he's coming back inspired, so QMM it is. Xstasy versus Wildchild versus Michael Craven versus Crowe versus Linchpin - WC doesn't want it, X isn't around, and I think Linchpin can beat Craven and Crowe. He IS a former World Champion, people. Hopefully the Away in a Manger stip won't ruin anything. Va'aiga versus Terrence "Janus" Bailey - The medical personnel. Time and a half, baby! But I'll go with Va'aiga. "The Franchise" Mak Francis versus the Hville Thugg - Shit, gotta go with Thugg here. The cards are stacked against Mak kayfabewise, even though he chose the stip, and the match plays right into Thugg's style. Dace Night versus Charlie "Grappler" Matthews - Dace brings the Horrorcore and takes the Texas Death match. The Boston Strangler versus Erek Taylor - Strangler. It'd be a crime if he lost. AND THE MAIN EVENT… "THE SUPERIOR ONE" TOM FLESHER VERSUS EJIRO FASAKI - No prediction, as usual.

I'm teh disgusted with the numbers for this show. Although I haven't heard from TBS yet, I can safely say that the number of no-shows is bigger than Thoth's dick. As such, the show will not be going up tonight. It'll go up tomorrow in the late morning or at my leisure, once I've had some time to think about booking the followup card.

SJL Blew Christmas.

I've finally made #1 pop. I can retire now.

Kayfabe, WC. Kayfabe. I'm thoroughly impressed with the Stocking Stuffer and Away In A Manger matches, although I think going back to the coal miner match in WCW, one of the stockings should have had a picture of Ejiro Fasaki in it. This... is going to be an incredible show. Thank god it's due on the 16th and not the 14th.

*snicker* Hey, a bookable writer!

Is this as bad as the last couple?

HEELS 1) Ejiro 2) Thugg 3) Taylor FACES 1) Flesher 2) TBS 3) Mak/Dace/WC - tied because these guys are poised for a breakout, and what they do in the next few weeks will really determine it.

Anyone want to recommend a rolling tobacco to ask for at the drugstore? The only tobaccos I remember by brand are pipe tobaccos, which I'm guessing you wouldn't want to roll into a cigarette.

ATTENTION FRANKIE DEED AND SEAN CASEY. Please get me something very soon, because I don't like marking double no-shows and it's a bit past deadline.

I actually already have sideburns and a goatee. I'm just growing the actual beard parts in for finals. Just struck me as one of those things you have to do once, and since it's the first semester of my final year, this struck me as an ideal time.

Flaming is overrated. Real men wish death on other posters. NOTE: Do not wish death on other posters.

I hate you, Edwin. However, I'll bask in the warming glow of the fact that I can grow a thick, attractive beard, whereas you're reduced to wearing a coat hanger on your head for attention.

On its merits, the show was terrible. There was only one "good" sketch, as noted above (the Three Wise Men). Sharpton delivered his lines with all the style and emotion of a first-grader reading about good oral hygiene. However, it was entertaining because it was such a clusterfuck. I mean, Sharpton as Brian Fellows' brother Ryan Fellows, who does love the ladies and wants to go clubbing with a baby seal, then argues over whether Frosty the Snowman is an animal? Who isn't entertained by that? The Democratic Nominees sketch had potential, but just reeked of trying too hard.

At least then you have that nice one-desk buffer around you at the exam.

Nah, it's just something some people like to do. If you want to introduce yourself, feel free, but we won't hold it against you. Hell, aside from accusing you of being a previously-banned poster, most likely no one will notice you're here.

Welcome to TSM. Just join in on the dung-flinging wherever you feel comfortable.

Just ftr, both rookies showed, and Korgath no-showed to Rando. If either of the rookies would like marking notes, please contact me on AIM or via PM.

SJL METAL CARD: Drew Kelk Appreciation Night! Drew Date: Tuesday, December 2, @ 9 PM EST Venue: The Sky Dome in Toronto, Ontario… CANADA! Send Promos & Marked Matches To: Longdogger_Pete Tonight, the SJL is going to be in the home province of one of its favourite sons, the Canadian Intelligence Agent! CIA will be in attendance, as will the General with his beaver, Pierre. However, I have a feeling the press won’t be able to interview CIA and the General at the same time… odd, that. Is this a stupid concept show? Yes. Yes it is. OPENING PROMO: Call it. OPENING CONTEST “Fruity” Frankie Deed vs. David Cross Description: These two are the newest SJL signees. Will they be able to perform as expected? Will they be turned off by the stupid theme card? Will Frankie be able to keep it in his pants? Only time will tell. Rules: Standard match. All normal DQ and countout rules apply. Word Count: 3000 Send To: Ace309 GOOD OLD FASHIONED THREE-WAY RASSLIN’ MATCH “Hollywood” Spike Jenkins vs. “Live~Wire” Sean Casey vs. Santa Claus Description: Spike fell on some hard times before the last show and was unable to put forth his best effort. Commissioner Raynor isn’t happy with that, regardless of how good the reason might be. CIA is a little surprised that Spike is still in the JL. Will this crafty vet be able to beat the rookie and the fat man? Only time will tell. Rules: First pin or submission wins. All normal DQ and countout rules apply. If someone is counted out or disqualified, he is eliminated and leaves the ring area and the other two continue wrestling. Santa Claus will post or PM his stats very soon. Word Count: 4500 Send To: Thoth EUROPEAN TITLE SUBMISSION MATCH Alan Clark, Disney-Sponsored Wrestler, vs. Dominic Korgath Description: DK has been fighting his way through the ranks. Though he hasn’t met with great success, Commissioner Raynor sees fit to reward him with a shot at Alan Clark’s European Title, but at a significant disadvantage for his style (mainly because CIA was an avid fan of the North American submission style and will greatly enjoy this encounter). Will DK win the title, only to have to defend against the likes of Sean Casey, David Cross and Frankie Deed? Only time will tell. Rules: The first wrestler to make his opponent submit will be declared the winner and European Champion. All normal DQ and countout rules apply – this is not an I Quit match. Word Count: 4500 Send To: Ace309 MYSTERY STIP MATCH Aecas vs. Landon “La Cucaracha” Maddix Description: These two were both extremely pissed off with the concept of fighting in a swimming pool, and so Commissioner Raynor will be selecting a new stipulation for them shortly before the show. Will it be a Mall Brawl? Subway Chaos? Hell In A Pool Anyway? Something actually reasonable? Only time will tell. Rules: God only knows. Word Count: 5500 Send To: Thoth MAIN EVENT: WORLD TITLE CAGE MATCH Todd Royal © vs. Manson Description: Another famous match of CIA’s was the cage match in which he defeated Mak Francis to win his second SJL World Championship. Thor was in there as well, as a warm body or something. Now, Todd Royal has to make his first defense against the deadly Manson in the same type of match. Does Todd need this, with Alan Clark breathing down his neck? Only time will tell. Rules: There is a cage surrounding the ring that is exactly the size you need it to be for spots and so forth. The door will be chained shut when both competitors have entered. You can win by pinning your opponent or making him submit. Technically, yes, this means you can climb out of the cage, get a weapon and climb back in, but don’t be that guy. Don’t be that guy. Word Count: 6000 Send To: Longdogger_Pete

I dunno, the chain loses its effect when it's legal.

And what word would you suggest to serve the purpose? It's a pet peeve of mine - in the case of prejudice against a country of origin analogous to prejudice against a particular race, 'racist' is the best word to approximate the feeling described. 'Nationalist' doesn't work, because that has another meaning already. This comes up periodically on another board I follow at themat.com - a Pakistani wrestler posts regularly and people respond in truly bigoted form, then deny being racist because "Pakistani isn't a race." Prejudice is prejudice (ignoring for the moment the question of whether this angle actually demonstrates prejudice), even if we don't have an exact word to describe this type of prejudice and have to approximate it with another word describing a similar pattern of thought.

This is a really, really nice card. For that, I salute you.

Send it my way, guys.

A bunch of us here are planning on participating in national Novel Writing Month, or NaNoWriMo. Since the SWF is a place where aspiring writers come to pat each other on the back, what better place to look for people to participate in a pointless exercise of writing misery? So go, sign up there, and post here! If you've got a plot picked out, feel free to share.