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Everything posted by Ace309

  1. Ace309

    I Come, Asking Favors.

    Interesting. It went down differently than I expected it to - I was sort of expecting, at the beginning, an existential angst moment at the end where the cheap-ass condom broke. The cashier's character could use a little bit of tweaking - I think he could work up to dropping the bomb by being moderately annoying first, if that makes any sense, sort of testing his limits to see if he can get rid of Rex earlier.
  2. Ace309


    What an odd thing to say. (What other boards?) And damn, Windy, but you're weird.
  3. Ace309

    PROMO - Wait...WHAT?!

  4. Ace309

    From The Fire Availability Thread

    Available and approving of plans which have been PM'd to me.
  5. Ace309

    SWF "Can't Get A Date" (Card)

    What's this about Polanski being a perfectionist? Scary, scary stuff, folks. I have also shew.
  6. Ace309

    SWF "Can't Get A Date" (Card)

    Facewashes for all!
  7. Ace309

    Home Brewing

    Sorry, sorry, what'd I miss? The easiest thing to start off with is something dark and hoppy, since you're likely to make a mistake (pitching the yeast too warm, or using a crappy yeast strain, something like that) and in a light beer such things have nowhere to hide. If you drink porter, IPA, or nut brown ale, any of those are a great first brew. Definitely pick up Papazian's book, and you can actually go ahead and skip the canned brews if you read the first few chapters and go straight to extract brewing. Your beer will be better and it's no harder to screw up. http://www.northernbrewer.com/ is a good mailorder shop if you don't have a local homebrew supply shop. By the way, extract brewing is sort of the equivalent of using a cake mix, whereas all-grain brewing is more like cooking from scratch. Extract is a little easier to do and involves less time from start to finish. I enjoy brewing from grain, but the quality of the beers isn't really that different.
  8. Ace309

    SWF CLUSTERFUCK 2008! (card)

    Yes, just follow the directions for a returnee writing. The Fuck's a bit ambitious, though... sure you want to write it?
  9. Ace309

    Hi people.

    Welcome aboard, the both of you!
  10. As always, post your stats here!
  11. Chemistry is overrated. I'm available.
  12. Ace309

    I rule

  13. Ace309

    Class Is In Session Discussion Thread

    Matches in which I am involved or which I am to mark are all in the hands of their recipient.
  14. Tom Flesher sits at the desk at his office in downtown Buffalo. With a smirk, he looks to the camera, a smoldering Camel hanging from his mouth. He smoths out the chest of his blue collared shirt, then addresses the camera. "Landon Maddix... you think you took everything away from me when you won the commissioner's slot, don't you? You really think that all I wanted was that feeling of power you get from running around like a chicken with your head cut off, trying to manage a top wrestling promotion and handle a bunch of guys who, because they're the top athletes in the business, have given up everything they had mentally? People who don't see their families and take out all their anger on the poor bastard behind the desk? Come on. I'm a bright guy, Landon. Give me more credit than that." Tom takes a drag from his cigarette and pauses a moment to collect his thoughts. "I've got news for you, kid. This promotion is nothing. This promotion has been nothing for a long time now. Do you really think I was the one running it into the ground? As brilliant a businessman as I am, there wasn't anything I could do with the payroll I had, with the wrestling boom dying and our best athletes jumping ship because they couldn't keep up with the touring schedule and guys like Michael god damn Alexander stretching the piss out of them. When you're running a promotion that's basing itself on Toxxic's eighth World Title reign like it's something new and exciting, on Wild and Dangerous like they're doing something they haven't been doing for five years, and the kids who wanted to wrestle and would have been great talent are jumping into the drafts for Major League Baseball and the NBA instead of sticking with the sport brought them to the dance, you've got a dying business. What are you going to do to revive it? Ghost Machine 4.0? Did I funnel some money off? You're damn right I did. I gave the best god damn years of my life to this promotion, and I'm not about to watch it die and not take those years back any way I can. But, you know what? There's money in that World Championship. And that's all it's good for. It hasn't meant a thing since ALAN CLARK, for god's sake, walked out of the arena holding the belt. But you need me to squeeze the last few bucks out of the wrestling business so you can pay the guys who actually think they'll make it big some day, who aren't smart enough to get out of the business while they can. Me? I'm secure. But if you want to put me in the main event, if you want me to be the one to kill the business, I'll be happy to do it. You're looking at the next World Champion, Landon, and I'm going to give that belt every bit of the respect it deserves... and not an ounce more."
  15. Ace309

    Class Is In Session Discussion Thread

    I am amused on 4i levels.
  16. Ace309

    All Hallows Discussion Thread

    Mach schnell with the match.
  17. Ace309


    Smarks Board Name: Ace309 Wrestlers Name: "The Superior One" Tom Flesher Height: 5'10" Weight: 229.9 pounds for cruiserweight matches, 231 when he doesn't have to make weight Hometown: Buffalo, New York Age: 24 Face/Heel: Rudo, dick, bastard heel, whatever you want to call the guy who’ll step on your neck, count along with the ref and then still deny it. Ring Escort: With James Matheson on indefinite hiatus, just Allison Onita for now. Weapon(s): Allison Onita's purse is a wonderland of interesting things, many of which are small enough to be hidden in Flesher's singlet, wrist tape or kickpads. (You didn't really think they were for the opponent's protection, did you?) Looks: Flesher is fairly stocky, a fireplug with broad shoulders, a barrel chest and an 18-inch neck. He wears his short brown hair combed forward and spiked in the front, nearly shaved on the sides with a reddish beard kept closely trimmed. Typical Irish/German - light brown hair, light blue eyes, average-to-fair skin. When wrestling, he wears black ASICS wrestling shoes with attached black-on-blue kickpads and a royal blue singlet with black trim at the edges and metallic silver side panels. Like all good heels, he'll also use black wrist tape. He wears a blue warmup suit with black shoulder rings to the ring. Out of the ring, think GQ – stylish, erring toward conservative, but certainly not buttoned-up. Black wingtips are standard outside the ring. On special occasions, Flesher will substitute gold side panels for the silver, and a gold warmup suit. Ring Entrance: Allison Onita will make an introduction, the blue pyro goes off coincident with the opening to Led Zeppelin's "Kashmir," and Flesher struts to the ring. He'll acknowledge the crowd from the ring with a kind of quiet confidence before stripping his warmup off and stretching out. Stats: Strength: 4 - He's a lightweight, but he can still hoist most guys around, being a suplex machine and all. He's given up some of his functional strength in an effort to improve his ability to take punishment - he doesn't need to lift anyone overhead and spike him on his neck anymore, but when he limits the ways he's willing to win, he'll need to be able to take more of a beating. Speed: 2 - His speed is more a result of his conditioning training than anything else, but he's fast enough to tie someone up in a pretzel hold out of nowhere. He won't be doing slingshot suicida stuff any time soon, though. Vitality: 9 - Very good stamina, and hard to pin. Nearly never submits, and bleeds like a stuck pig given the opportunity. Flesher is able to wrestle on instinct and without higher brain function (particularly after being dumped on his head). Is he tough to beat? Absolutely. He carried the fed on his back for a year. He earned the right to be. Charisma: 5 - The man uses the thumb to the eye as a signature move, for god's sake. Everybody hates him. Style: He's fat. He's probably up to 240 from his billed weight of 231. He's lazy. He'd rather drop you on your head than actually wrestle you, but he knows he needs to stretch you out to get you to that point. Signature moves: - Yakuza kick - Derailleur (Canadian backbreaker with kneedrop) - Double chicken wing (standing and elevated for the submission, or grounded and worked into an amateur-style pin) - Any suplex you've ever seen someone do, but especially the Straitjacket, the Fisherman's and the head-and-arm - Figure-four leglock - Shotei/Palm blow (doesn't punch - only uses palms or backhands, whether striking or just slapping the taste out of an opponent's mouth for no apparent reason) - Variants on submissions he already does, or wacky submissions made up on the spot, that may be either painful or merely irritating - Dropkick to the crotch - Thumb to the eye Common moves: - Railgun Suplex (Overhead belly-to-belly - usually catches someone running the ropes, but can initiate it from a standing position against someone about 240 or under) - German suplex (bridging or released) - Greco-Roman backdrop (belly-to-back suplex) - Shoulderbreaker - Front headlock (aka front facelock.) -- From the front headlock, Flesher can do several things. He can use it as a choke, sprawl backward and throw knees at the opponent's head, apply a hammerlock and wait it out, or use the amateur-style cement series. For the sake of these explanations, assume the head is under Flesher's right arm. -- Cement Drop (Wrench the chin to the right side, hook the arm and drive forward, pushing the opponent onto his BUTT. Step with one foot on each side of his hips and continue driving forward into a Thesz press pin, keeping the chin wrench. The simplest way to finish, but also the hardest to hit against anyone who knows what he's doing.) -- Cement Mixer (Floatover front facelock suplex, ending with the same chin wrench-Thesz press pin as above.) -- Cement Job (From the front headlock, wrench the chin and underhook the opponent's arm with the left arm. Punch the left hand through and over the shoulder, driving the opponent to his back for the pin and keeping the chin wrench. -- Flying Cement Job (Underhook the arm as for the Cement Job. Kick the left leg under the opponent's chest and pull him over it, using the same basic motion as a side headlock takeover. The hold finishes the same way as a Cement Job, but has the added benefit of knocking the wind out of the opponent.) -- Wet Cement (Bodyscissors front headlock – usually applied to a sitting opponent, throw on the headlock and then wrap the legs around the opponent’s middle from the front a la Jamie Noble. So named by Dace Night because getting caught in it is like getting stuck in wet cement – you just can’t get out.) - Stalling front suplex (Lifts the opponent up and then throws them face-down onto the mat; can also be done across the top rope) - Camel Clutch or Gedo clutch - Abdominal stretch, occasionally with the elbow stuck in the opponent’s ribs. - Body scissors, alone or with a full nelson, sleeper or just about any other move that fits the story of the match. - Doc Marten boot-related offense (Yakuza kick, double stomp, corner boot scrape to the face, kick to the knee, dropkick to the knee, enzuigiri) - Amateur-style techniques -- … including the blast double leg, which functions as a spear -- … or the By The Numbers pin, which involves applying a hammerlock to the left arm of a face-down opponent, coming out to the front, threading your arm under the elbow of his right arm and forcing him onto his back with both arms controlled. Rare moves: - Burning Hammer (Torture rack into head drop. This is the move that broke Mak Francis' neck, so it's a bit like a police officer's gun: he isn't going to use it unless it's absolutely necessary, and he's going to feel incredibly conflicted about it afterward.) - The Boilermaker (Avalanche-style [off the top rope] brainbuster. Obviously limited by size. Set up with an Irish whip followed by either an avalanche or a running palm strike, then setting the opponent on the top rope and hitting a 'Venus' [leaping and spinning] palm strike.) Counter this with an Orange Crush Bomb and you win (see losses to TNT [ladder match, US Title] and Ejiro Fasaki [sWF Xmas PPV 2003, World Title]). - Logical Disconnect (Exploder '98 - A sheer-drop pumphandle exploder) - Backdrop driver (High-angle belly-to-back suplex) - Ego Buster (Sheer drop gutwrench suplex. For reference, see Fire Pro Wrestling Advance, 'Alevin's Lift'.) - Superior Stretch Beta (back-mounted dragon sleeper - still in Flesher's repertoire, but since Jenkins is using it, and since it's hard to apply, it's not at the top of his list.) Finishers: - King Cobra hold (grounded cobra clutch/million dollar dream with bodyscissors, used in tribute to Mak Francis - often set up with a judo-style arm throw to put the opponent in front of Flesher on his BUTT) - Superior Stretch (Texas Cloverleaf) - Held Without Bail (Judge William Hearford’s Stretch Plum, which Tom used during his tenure in the M7 and face turn. He got accustomed to using it, and will now fall back on it when he needs to.)
  18. Ace309


    -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- The Smartmarks Wrestling Federation presents... SWF GENESIS VIII! Live, Wednesday, October 10th, from the University of Phoenix Stadium in Phoenix, Arizona!! (7pm PST, 10pm EST; check local listings) (Send all promos/marked matches to chirs3) -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- MAIN EVENT - SWF WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP Johnny Dangerous © vs. Toxxic --> ‘What Goes Around, Comes Around’. Three years have gone around since Toxxic, the rookie phenom, leader of Revolution Zero and already a former World Champion challenged reigning World Champion Johnny Dangerous, just breaking out from tag team competition where he and Wildchild had become synonymous with great tag wrestling. On that occasion, Genesis V in the Rose Bowl, Toxxic pulled out the victory, got his revenge on the man who ended his first reign and walked away with the greatest prize in professional wrestling, the SWF World Title. Fast-forward three years. Toxxic is again the leader of a revamped Revolution Zero, is now a four-time former World Champion and as one of the most successful wrestlers in the federation’s history is once more challenging reigning World Champion Johnny Dangerous at Genesis. Johnny’s stamped his authority on tag wrestling even more, being one-half of the most prolific tag team champions of all time, but despite his two previous World Titles he has yet to solidify his position in the main event with a lengthy run with the belt. It all comes down to this. Either Johnny stops Toxxic, makes a stand against the rampant Rev-0, proves he belongs at the top of the card and gets revenge on the man who recently took his Tag Title, or Toxxic goes on to make history and become the first five-time SWF World Champion. Either way, the SWF will have a strong champion at the helm as it enters a new chapter of its storied history. But will that champion be English… or American? Rules: Standard singles. Send to: Ace309 -=-=-=- SINGLES MATCH Landon Maddix © vs. Tom Flesher --> Tom Flesher’s contribution to the SWF cannot be underestimated. Two-time World Champion, twice in charge of programming, holder of more belts and awards than he can ever really know what to do with, and quite simply the best technical wrestler ever to set foot through the door. Add to that an ability to rile even the most tepid of crowds, a tendency to slap people around and, when all else fails, drop them on their heads while taking ludicrous amounts of punishment himself and you have the makings of one of the SWF’s true legends. Plus, he has Allison Onita hanging around. However, perhaps leadership does not suit Tom as well as might be imagined. Under his watch the SWF has lost its lucrative TV deal. From Genesis VIII onwards, Storm is no more and the SWF will find itself adrift, left to survive on live shows and Pay-Per-View… if we can get it. One man has stepped up and announced himself unhappy with Tom’s leadership and the Superior One has decided to put him in his place, with the office of Commissioner on the line. But this is Landon Maddix, the man who (as he happily tells the world) retired Tom at Genesis V; can Landon do it again and send Tom packing once more, or will Flesher put a stop to the rot of Genesis V, VI and VIII to stamp his authority on the company and show that he still has something to bring to the table? Rules: Standard singles. Send to: chirs3 -=-=-=- SWF CRUISERWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH The Fabulous Jakey © vs. Wildchild --> With his partner gunning for the World Championship, the wilder half of Wild and Dangerous has decided to cash in his rematch for the Cruiserweight Championship against the Fabulous Jakey! Rules: Standard, with Cruiser addenda. Send to: realitycheck -=-=-=- DAMNATION IN A BOX "Hollywood" Spike Jenkins © vs. Dace Night --> Oh, me. Back in the SJL, these two had some wars. Since those days Dace joined and then led the Unholy Trinity, won the SWF ICTV and Tag Titles, got dropped on his head by a giant Maori and came close to winning the World Title on a couple of occasions. Spike, meanwhile, joined Revolution Zero, became straight-edge and then the (at the time) longest-reigning Cruiserweight Champion of all time, as well as a couple of Tag Title runs and his own shots at the World Title. He’s had some notable rivalries with people like Toxxic and Zyon, and has undergone a couple of self-imposed makeovers as he sought to improve himself. Dace hasn’t been seen in the SWF since the beginning of 2005. Spike’s been coming and going for a while, without being able to get that much momentum behind him. His recent failure to capture the World Title from Alan Clark looked to be about it… …but you can never run from your roots. For their own reasons, reasons that we don’t know and quite frankly, don’t need to know, Dace 'Fucking' Night and ‘Hollywood’ Spike Jenkins are back in the match that made their names. D@mnation In A Box is back, and this time it’s on the SWF’s biggest show of the year. Hold me. Rules: Spike and Dace know the rules. Everyone else just needs to know to stay the hell out of that cell. Send to: chirs3 -=-=-=- SINGLES MATCH Chris Raynor vs. Austin Sly --> Revolution Zero doesn't like Chris Raynor, not even a little bit. Raynor, meanwhile, just wants to be part of the fed again. What happens when you take Raynor, whose heart and bad neck make for a nervous audience every week, and put him up against Sly just as he's hitting his stride? Rules: Send to: Ace309 -=-=-=- MATCH OF MATCHING "The Dean of Wrestling" Jay Hawk vs. Jimmy the Doom --> Rules: Standard. Send to: realitycheck -=-=-=- SWF NEW BLOOD CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH Fulminatus © vs. Luke-o vs. Michael Alexander --> Luke-o's impressive debut run continued last Storm, and now that Genesis is upon us, the time may be right to crown a new New Blood Champion - that is, if Fulminatus doesn't mind. And I'm pretty sure he will. And the third wheel of this match is one of the most impressive guys to come down the pike in a while - Michael Alexander, who lost his initial bid for the New Blood title to the current holder, Fulminatus! Rules: Send to: Ace309 -=-=-=- HARDCORE FOUR-WAY Leon Sharpe vs. Akira Kaibatsu vs. MANSON vs. Insane Luchador --> Rules: Elimination-style. Otherwise, none. Send to: chirs3 -=-=-=- OPENING CONTEST Arch Griffon vs. Jesse James Sanders --> Rules: Standard. Send to: Sly -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- I intentionally pushed the show back a week. I'm expecting big things from all of you, and I delayed things by taking too long to book the card, so I figured an extra few days would help get everyone back into contention. Good luck!
  19. Ace309

    THE (kinda) *NEW* SWF!

    Count me in, of course.
  20. Ace309


    Wednesday the 10th. Sorry for the confusion.
  21. Ace309


    Done and done.
  22. Ace309

    Genesis is Under Construction

    Card's up!
  23. I'm playing with a few options to make sure I can get everyone booked. Because everyone wants to be booked, right?
  24. Ace309

    Genesis is Under Construction

    The main event and an additional promo are up.