vivalaultra

So, I read that after the Huerta/Garcia fight, Rashad Evans and Tito Ortiz had to be seperated outside the ring. I wonder why. Tito vs. Rashad might be a good little fight. As far as the WW title goes, I think ya gotta go GSP/Hughes III for the #1 contendership and maybe Serra/Koscheck for the title. Seems about right unless I'm forgetting anyone...

Hail only comes in golf ball size. I dunno. I've seen some grapefruit sized hail down here, but, as you know, everything's bigger in Texas. Also, at my Maw-Maw's funeral in 1998, my sister got them to play 'I Will Come to You' by Hanson as the casket was being carried out. It was very poignant. The only other music played at the service was ... nylon-stringed acoustic instrumental renditions of Rod Stewart songs. My Maw-Maw was a big Rod Stewart fan.

That was...huh? Oh my god, Matt Serra? Zuh? Matt Hughes is like...the second happiest man on Earth, next to Serra, right now. Oh my...damn. The show was actually really good. Okami/Swick was a great fight. Gonzalez/Huerta brought all kinds of awesome. Koschek/Diego sucked all kinds of ass. And then...Matt Serra? Zuh? That's absofuckinglutely ridiciulous! Oh, and I was glad to see the knowledgable Texas MMA fans give Noguiera love.

The Astros finally win a game tonite against the Cards. Roy O was great, tossing a complete game 5-hit, 1-run effort in a 5 to 1 victory. Carlos Lee and Berkman hit homeruns and Biggio got his 2,936th hit of his career. Hopefully the offense will continue to be more similar to tonite than the previous 4 games.

Heh, I had a teacher fitting the same description, name too, in 7th grade. He stuttered on the key words; penis, vagina, sex. Yeah, I meant 7th grade. We actually went to the same junior high. Evergreen, baby. Straight up Houma, yo! I think you used to live around the corner from me, Hood. I also think your Dad almost arrested my brother for smoking, too.

My sister was a huge fuckin' Hanson fan...like...the hugest. Back in '97, the mayor of Tulsa or wherever they're from in OK declared it 'Hanson Day', and my sister actually stayed home from school and celebrated. She also, being like...12 at the time, wrote a 'fake' news story on our old computer about how every member of Hanson fell madly in love with her and fought each other over her. The worst, however, was that summer in 1997 when we went on our family vacation to West Texas, my sister forced us to drive to Tulsa (through like...golfball sized hail) so she could go to the Hanson house and put red jellybeans on their lawn. Seriously, that's all we did. We drove 500 miles out of our way so my sister could spend 15 minutes putting jellybeans on the lawn of Taylor Hanson. And then we left Oklahoma. We stayed in a motel that night and my Dad wanted to use one of the pillows, but my sister refused to let him because she had taped a picture of Hanson on it, so it was off-limits. Yeah, my sister was a freak. Even after Hanson wasn't popular anymore, when they got married and matured and what-not, she still was into em. She still goes to all the concerts and stuff. She's like, a serious Hanson fan. Another time, she spent five or so hours on the computer looking up a soundclip of a young Taylor Hanson saying 'Dammit, Zak!' to young Zak Hanson. Much to her chagrin, when she found it, Taylor was only saying 'Dangit' and not 'Dammit'. Thus concludes my memories of Hanson.

Geez, I'm glad I was at a TV on the Radio concert instead of watching my Astros lose their 4th in a row. As everyone knows, if you don't see the loss happen, it doesn't count. Obviously they were going to lose at least 4 games this season, but it still sucks that they had to lose the first 4. Ah well, tomorrow and Sunday are favorable match-ups for em at least.

In my 9th grade sex ed. class, my teacher was this old black dude named Mr. Bowman that got caught masturbating under the desk whilst the sex ed. videos were playing. He wasn't fired either. He just showed up the next day in class like nothing ever happened. Weird.

I'm expecting the 'Stros to take 2 outta 3 at least. Tonite it's Wandy Rodriguez starting so either they'll win 8-7 or they'll lose 12-2, depending on how the offense is working. Tomorrow and Sunday they should take, though.

The good news is that the Astros have the day off tomorrow. The bad news is that they have to play against the Cardinals on Friday. The good news is that the Cardinals have sucked worse than the 'Stros so far this season.

I'm not sure I buy the evidence, as it's just a buncha pictures of him touching his hat and commentary on him touching his hat and jersey. Most pitchers are fidgety like that. However, I wouldn't be completely surprised if he did have something extra. After all, he used to roll with Brendan Donnelly.

I love Milo Hamilton (radio guy for the Astros for the last 27 years), but I swear to God, he's going senile in his old age. There was a game against the Mets season before last that I was listening to and Mike Piazza came up to bat, and when he came up, Milo said "And here's Pizza...Mike Pizza." I tought he was joking, but he seriously called him 'Mike Pizza' for the rest of the game and all of last season. Also, in Spring Training, one of the Astros' pitching prospects named Chad Reinke got into a game, and Milo referred to him alternately as 'Chad Heineken', 'Chad Wrinkle', and 'Chad Winkler'. He also frequently calls the new radio guys, Dave Raymond and Brett Dolan, by the wrong name. At the end of a game last season, he was signing off and said, "For all of us here in Houston, this has been Milo Hamilton along with Brett Dolan. Goodnite everyone!" The only problem was that it was Dave in the both. As they were going off-air, Dave said, "I'm not Brett! I'm Dave!" to which Milo responded, "I don't care who you are!" He's a good commentator, though. At least his senility is highly amusing.

Buy a pair of Crocs...the most comfortable and god-awful ugly shoe known to man.

Getting three hits in the same inning just clogs up the bases. You can't win games if all you do is clog up the bases.

Well, the Astros lost...again...to the Pirates (It hurts to type that). Jason Jennings was on point, giving up 1 ER in 6 innings with 6 Ks and no BBs. However, Dan Wheeler did his best Brad Lidge impression and blew the damn game. This new offense isn't clickin' yet, as they once again could only muster 2 runs and 7 hits. After the second game of the season, the 'Stros and the Cards are tied for last place in the division. Sad stuff about Carpenter, but good for the Astros.

It's moments like these when I feel like I should apologize for the Pujols homer in the NLCS. (But I'm not gonna.) Oh, and another reason why that's not accurate...I live in a house, not an apartment, dum-dum! Personally, I think Lidge would've been craptastic even without the Pujols' homer. He showed patches of suckiness throughout the 2005 season. Batters just started sitting on his slider and pounding his fastball. I don't think he's psychologically damaged. He's just had...a...very long...string...of...bad...luck...for...the last...several years...in...very...high profile...situations.

I wouldn't put anything past the 'Stros. I'm not gonna have a meltdown after the first game of the season. Yeesh, I'm not a Cubs' fan or a Yankees' fan or something. Going by precendent, the 'Stros lost on Opening Day in 2004 and made it to the LCS. They lost on Opening Day in 2005 and made it to the WS. They won on Opening Day last year and didn't make the postseason. I still see them winning 88-90 games this year, as long as Adam Everett doesn't hit 2nd all year, Brad Lidge either gets his 'problems' sorted out in Houston or somewhere else, and Carlos Lee doesn't blatantly try to hit a 500+ foot homerun to the Crawford Boxes every at bat like he did last nite for whatever reason. There were lots of good things about the team last nite...Luke Scott hit a monster homerun, Chris Burke went 3 for 4, Ensberg hit well, Roy O. pitched like a sonofabitch. And, the best sign is that this new offensive juggernaut of a team actually scored TWO WHOLE RUNS last nite! Clearly that's a vast improvement over the offenses of 05 and 06.

Take the 's' off of scrappiness and that about describes Everett's offense, yeah...

I knew Adam Everett deserved the GG last year. Damn Omar Vizquel and his 'legacy'! However, his defense definitely doesn't warrant the #2 spot.

If anybody hadn't heard...Brad Lidge is still ass. Roy O goes 7 2/3 innings, gives up 3 hits, one run. Wheeler comes in, gets Bay out. The only fuckin' batter I was worried about in the lineup was Jason Bay. Lidge comes in to start the 9th. The 'Stros are up 2-1. Lidge strikes out LaRoche on 3 pitches. Paulino grounds out on 2 pitches. Ex-Javier Nady, first pitch, 390 foot homerun. Damn. I wasn't planning on going 162-0 this year, but that was a shitty way to start the season. I'm willing to give Lidge a chance for a couple of weeks, but it's liking like they shoulda pulled the trigger on the trade with the Red Sox or the one with the Indians for Cliff Lee. It wasn't all bad, though. I won a free t-shirt playing 'Baseball Trivia'. My question was "Who was the famous cokehead first baseman for the Mets?" I, of course, said Keith Hernandez. I also got the bonus question right. The answer to the bonus was Doc Gooden.

Ahhh....I hope it's Mark Cuban. Pinella as manager and Cuban as owner would be ridiculous.

So, the Trib's selling the Cubs at the end of this season to real-estate mogul Sam Zell. I think the ticker said for $8.25 million.

Woo-hoo! The 'Stros are tied for first place in the NL Central! Take that snobby sportswriters!!!!! ...so, did Vince McMahon get his head shaved?

Nah, it was Carpenter. He bunted too close to the batter's box and it went to Hell from there. I know it's only the first game of the season, but Carp's looking bad. Really bad. Like...might be cause for concern bad. Hey!!!! There'srussspringerinthebullpenalriterussyoukickass!!!!

And we follow that up with the first unsuccessful squeeze attempt of the year. Geeze, Tony...first time you get a guy in scoring position and you go for the squeeze. You so crazy!