Zack Malibu

The what in the where now?

As much as I dig Monty and they're selling him as their next big thing, I'm pretty sure a PPV headlined by Brown vs. Jarrett would draw less than JJ/Hardy. I don't expect them to set records, but most casual fans (and I only say them because the internet fans have already made up their minds about this PPV one way or another) remember Hardy in more famous ladder matches, and it might pique their curiousity. The PPV CAN take a step in the right direction by putting Brown over in the three way and make him seem like the real deal. Raven/JJ could not have worked this soon. The first matchup got huge buildup and was one of TNA's shining moments. No need to do a hack job on what could once again be a great feud. Another problem is that these "outsiders", be it Hall, Nash, X-Pac and/or DDP (all rumored) are only being advertised as such. It wouldn't lead to many more buys, but at least figure out what their deal is, sign them to it, and start hyping their appearances by mentioning some actual names.

Nuclear fishin'?

::burps::

I dug Michaels/Christian from RAW.

Uh, CM dude, I have Victoria and you didn't count her for my points. I've been gypped!

You're not the only one, DH.

Hells yeah man. I bought that and Mike Nelson's Movie Megacheese during the same trip to the bookstore. Oddly enough, even as a major Tromite, I've never seen the complete Surf Nazis Must Die, just bits and pieces. I did, however, manage to sit through The First Turn-On. Also on topic: Troma's now releasing cheapie three packs of older movies they have the rights to. One pack I saw at Best Buy contained Deadly Daphne's Revenge, which is a cult favorite amongst fans of the cheese. Also, stay away from BEWARE: Children At Play, save for the final scene (which I will not spoil here).

Since these are getting quite a few hits, figured I'd toss my name into the hat of making a thread. We're gonna do this the old school way, where every match on the card is a Survivor Series Match. Teams of four, and each has a designated captain. Here are the groundrules for this one, like how CM Funk did for his Create A Card: One team must be captained by Johnny B. Badd A wrestler currently in OVW but that has never been on WWE TV yet must make his debut in a match. Randy Orton must captain one team and must be eliminated, but cannot be eliminated by the captain on the opposing team. There must be a Wild Card match (like on SS '95, mixing faces and heels). That match must feature New Jack, Dan Severn, and Chris Jericho in some capacity. Name all your teams. One match must feature two teams made up of tag teams. Kurt Angle and Chris Benoit can both be used, however not in the same match.

It's obviously not great, good, or whatever, but it makes me laugh my ass off every time I see it. Yep, I know that, but they are Troma DVDs seeing how they fit the same type of mold as Troma films. I think the only part I laughed at was when the guy was bugging out and performing the autopsy. Oh, and the fact that the military transports toxic canisters in open air vehicles in the middle of nowhere.

OK guys, lets try this one out. I'll give you guys some specifics on how to start a feud between two wrestlers. You're free to book it however you like. I'll do this once every few days (if I can keep up with it) if it gets a good response. This won't be exclusive to any fed or roster either, so no need to worry about if it's a RAW feud, Smackdown, etc. Build A Feud #1: CM Punk vs. New Jack Requirements For This Feud: You have four matches to carry this out. Three singles matches and one tag team contest. You can use three "backstage" segments/promo's/altercations through the course of the feud. One match must end via run-in DQ. The person interfering can be any of the following: Waylon Mercy, Barry Windham, or El Gigante. One match (and it does not need to be the blowoff) must have one of the following as a stip: Submission, Iron Man, Guitar On A Pole The tag contest you must use any of the following five as partners: Mercy, Windham, Gigante, Max Moon or Shawn Stasiak. The other two matches are normal one on one contests which can end any way you see fit. Two of the matches will be broadcast on Heat, one on RAW, and the final on Smackdown. Please give short results and star ratings for all matches. The feud can be for a title if you choose it to be.

Huh? All I remember about the fourth one saying anything like that was in the beginning, where it apologizes for Toxic Avenger 2 and 3. Downhome, I like you buddy, but to even SUGGEST Redneck Zombies is a sin. That movie SUCKED, and this is coming from a guy who watched From Justin To Kelly and liked it. Also, Redneck Zombies is not a Troma film. Neither is Cannibal. The rights to them were simply bought by Troma for release. Toxic 1 is essential, as it's their masterpiece. Tromeo and Juliet, Sgt. Kabukiman NYPD, and Class Of Nuke 'Em High 1 are all also very good recommendations when getting into Troma. Also, is this a new book? I have "All I Needed To Know About Filmmaking I Learned From The Toxic Avenger", but hadn't heard about this one.

Well, you're not only champion of the SWF, but master of the obvious too!

Fine by me, Spike. I'll do up a promo sort of setting the stage for it as well.

So, um...what are the teams exactly?

Super Strength Healing Ability Teleportation

"How you feelin', man?" Our scene opens with Mike Van Siclen sitting in a chair in the locker room, hands running through his hair repeatedly. He looks up, and there in front of him is his confidant and tag team partner, Todd Cortez. "Me? Frickin' fine, bro." "Then why does it look like you're about to tear that hair down to its roots every time you touch it?" Mike leans back and chuckles, having been caught red handed by his friend. "All right, you got me. Anxiety's natural in times like this." "Yeah, well you ain't the only one, bro." "How's that?" Cortez walks over to the corner and takes a folding chair, propping it up in front of Mike. Mike sighs, knowing that he's probably going to catch a verbal ass-whipping from his compadre. "Look man, have you thought about this?" "No, Todd, no I haven't. In fact, I don't even remember agreeing to this match. Must have been all those Electric Lemonades I had." "Cut it. I'm not tryin' to come down on you man, but think. We just made history, becoming the longest reigning champions in company HISTORY. We...me and you. We went from being mismatched and wary of each other to becoming one of the most dominant and popular tag teams in history. You've got people chanting your name after an eternity of striving to piss them off. It just worries me that your confidence might have gotten the better of you this time, and it may be taking you down a road you can't turn back from." "Todd..." begins Mike. "...are you...are you saying you don't think I can win?" Cortez laughs, and slaps his forehead. "Mikey, you don't get it. I got faith, bro. I know what you can do. It's just that I want to make sure you've explored all the options, thought about all the consequence. We've done good, you and me. It hasn't been a long time, but it's been a good time, and honestly, I don't want to see you disappearing through that curtain for the last time tonight." "Awww, Todd...want a hug?" kids Van Siclen. "Back up off me, son!" shouts Cortez, standing up and backing away quickly in jest from Mike's goofy antics. "You know what man, I feel you. I know what you're saying, trust me. But, the old saying states that we have to live and learn. If this is what it takes to get my hands on Toxxic, and around that gold strap, then so be it. I'm layin' it on the line. I'm a betting man...but I always walk away a winner. I'll say this though, Todd...and it's something I don't say to many people..." "Mike, so help me if you say the words "I Love You", I'm gonna drop you here and now." "Dude, please. I don't say that to my girlfriends. I will tell you this though...there have been people competing for years that haven't earned my respect. I just want you to know that it won't take years for you to earn it, because you've already got it." Cortez smirks, and nods his head. Van Siclen stands up, and the members of Hollywood Boulevard slap hands and hug. "I got your back tonight, brah. Ain't none of those Zeroes gonna help out tonight." "Much appreciated." With that, Cortez pats his tag partner on the shoulder, giving him one last look that tells him to give Toxxic hell in tonights contest. Cortez leaves the locker room and pulls the door shut, leaving Mike Van Siclen some time to himself before the most important match of his career.

::steals it from Hoff!:: ::hits Patty with it!:: HANDS IT BACK TO HOFF OMG SWERVE~!

I know that joke is going to go over at least a few heads. Hopefully you got it.

"I always feel like somebody's watching me..."

Maybe he read it BEFORE I put it in there!

I've edited in the six man in its designated spot so you can all check that out.

Speaking of HI-YAH, the match made on this weeks show takes place. Axel defends his HI-YAH Heavyweight Belt against rival Zack Malibu.

I'm being facetious, Malibu. So was I.

Banks, you've lowered your standards when it comes to finding that "heir apparent".