RavishingRickRudo

Steph seems more like the take-a-dump-on-my-chest kinda gal.

Cheating on Steph is just about the most self-destructive thing HHH can do... ... But then again, HHH did have sex with Chyna (which, btw, is THE most self-destructive thing).

No matter how hard this movie tries, it will never, ever, EVER, ever, ever, EVER reach the greatness of COMMANDO.

"When a girl has a heart of stone, there's only one way to melt it. Just add Ice." THIS TAG LINE DOES NOT MAKE SENSE!

Episode 13 features from UFC 54 Tim Sylvia vs. Tra Telligman, James Irvin vs. Terry Martin and from Ultimate Fight Night Live Stephan Bonnar vs. Sam Hoger. Stephan Bonnar is scheduled to fight James Irvin on Janury 16 on Spike TV's Ultimate Fight Night Live. -- SPIKETV I haven't seen any of these since they aired, so I am looking forward to them. Hoger/Bonnar was a great fight, from what I remember. Very exciting. Plus, there are two KO's of the Year Candidates here.

*Film begins with a narration by an old man and a gust of snow (like a snow globe) revealing the city streets. As the narration continues the shot slowly zooms in to reveal John Cena* Narrator: Once upon a time, there was a boy. And he was the happiest boy in Boston. Until one day something very bad happened and that happy boy became vvvveeerrry angry. He was very mean to people, and as he grew up and used his gift of rhyming words to hurt others. He then became a professional wrestler so he could hurt others for a living. And that boy’s name was John… was John… was… was… *Before the shot totally reveals John Cena, it quickly turns to the old man as he is reading from a large, red, book. A small, elf-life, person comes to his side right away* Elf: Santa? Santa? Are you alright? Santa: Yes Olar, I am fine… it’s just, there is so much hate and rage in that man that it hurts me to think about it. Elf: So why don’t you stop thinking about it? *Santa smiles* Santa: Oh Olar, but then how… how… how… Elf: Santa??? Santa: Quick, Olar, I am not as well as I say I am… I need you… I need you… I need you to take this book and follow the instructions very carefully, there isn’t much time… you must… you must do it exactly as it says, without questioning…. Christmas must come this year, and you must find my replacement. *Return to the shot of Cena on the sidewalk* *John Cena is walking along the sidewalk, rap-music playing in the background, Christmas shoppers all around him carrying bags of gifts, a graphic appears on the screen which says “December 21st”. * *He collides with a man carrying a load of presents. The man falls down and drops all the gifts* Cena: YO MAN! Watch where you steppin! Man: I’m, I’m sorry, I didn’t see you there. Cena: That’s right, that’s right, that’s cause YOU CAN’T SEE ME! *Cena does his hand-in-front-of-face thing* Man: I’m sorry. Cena: Yeah, you sorry alright. Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t kick your ass right now! *The man is shocked* Man: It’s Christmas. *A small boy walks into the scene* Boy: Daddy, Daddy, are you all right? Man: Yes, I’m fine… I just.. slipped… that’s all. *A slight change in expression comes upon Cena’s face – one of regret -, until realizes it and changes it immediately back to his more usual angry look.* Cena: Yeah, he slipped. *Cena pushes the man down again* Cena: Your lucky it’s Christmas, or else you’d be dead right now. *Cena takes one of the gifts walks off with a smirk on his face, leaving the boy and the man left to pick up the rest of the presents* *Later That Night* Exec: The time is now, John! The time is nooooooooooooow... *Cena is visited by a large jovial man who is grinning from ear to ear, eating and drinking like seven men.* Cena: What's up? You're Andre the Giant! Andre: Ah am ze ghost of wrestling Christmas passssssst. Ho-gawnnnnnn! Cena: Hogan? Andre: Sorry. We must go back to ze past now. (time warp) Andre: There are you are, working with your mentor, PN News. One day you swore you would make it to the big time and be a white rapping wrestler just like he did. Cena: Yeah! Yeah that was me! Good old PN News. He threw some wack Christmas parties. Mantaur always been crashin' 'em though. Andre: And now PN News is gone. Cena: He died? Andre: For all general intents and purposes....yes. Yes he did. Remember how you swore to him that you would keep it real, John? You haven't been. Cena: Well times change, big man, I hate to trouble you. But that guy was over in WCW! It don't matter. Andre: But PN News fell off too. Soon, his "yo baby yo" got much worse, and he paid the price! Learn from the past, John....LEARN FROM THE PAST!!! You will be visited by another spirit soon, John. *The Ghost disappears.* Cena: That's as intelligible as Andre the Giant has ever been. Whoa. *A second spirit enters. Trish Stratus comes in wearing a sheer white gown.* Trish: Oh John! Cena: Thank you Santa! Oh yeah! I'll stuff YOUR stocking, baby. Trish: I am the ghost of wrestling Christmas present. What you did to those people today was just not cool. Let's go over and see how they're doing. Cena: You wanna make me feel bad Trish, you're outta luck. I'm here in my bedroom so why don't we just-- Trish: Family programming, John. Cena: Whatev. *Trish transports Cena to the run-down bungalow in which the man and boy lived. They look in their window and see the mother laboring over the stew for tomorrow's meal. The children are fighting, gunshots can be heard down the street. The father is checking the gifts that he dropped when Cena pushed him down, and finds out almost all of them, especially a snow globe he bought for his wife, have been broken. Another Christmas gone, it seems.* Cena: Aw dammit! I can't believe this. If I had only known they were poor, I wouldn't have played it like that. How do I get outta this one, Trish? Trish: There's still going to be time, John. But I'm afraid my time here is done. I need to teach that Gayda bitch how to take a clothesline. Again. Merry Christmas, John! I wish you the best! *Trish exits.* Cena: Well according to formula there should be one more. *The Undertaker shows up in biker garb.* Cena: Deadman Inc.? I thought I was done with you. Taker: You know who I am. Cena: Aw come on man. You gotta operate! Be all ominous, all "I am the ghost of wrestling Christmas yet to come! Taker: ... Cena: Come on! Don't let me down! Taker: ...I ain't feelin' it. Cena: This sucks. And you're supposed to look like Death and everything. You of all people could've dragged out the throwbacks. Taker: I'm done with that phase. No. Cena: Well if you're gonna be such a crappy Reaper figure, give the position to one of the newly dead wrestlers. They'd scare me straight. Taker: I ain't givin' up my spot. Cena: Now I see it! If I don't do something to clean up, the future...is going to be the present! Thanks, spirit! Taker: You didn't shake my hand before this vision ended. Now I'm gonna make you pay. *UT shows Cena a scene of Cena's grave, as the rookies from Raw dance on it.* Cena: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! *Cena wakes up. Realizing he must change, he buys a turkey dinner for the family he almost ruined Christmas for. To replace their gifts, he got them some mad crazy bling-bling, and some mad throwbacks. Billy, the son, got the rainbow-skyline Denver Nuggets jersey. Janie, the daughter, received the MPLS. Lakers. And Tiny Tazz, the injured youngster, got an old Philadelphia Flyers sweater. Tazz: Yay! Orange is my favorite color! Cena: Word life, Tazz! Tazz: Word life, Cena! WORD LIFE, EVERYONE! And that's how John Cena discovered the true meaning of Christmas.

Yes, he figuratively walked her dog on camera. He metaphorically got her hand lotion.

Blood Choke sounds so badass.

This was clearly a message from God telling Ted that he's in a very unholy place.

UFC.tv has Matt Hughes choking out several members of a British TV crew. It's notable for two things: 1. Matt Hughes on his back near the end, and 2. The enthusiasm Dana White has telling Matt who to choke. Sleazy D in full force. http://www.ufc.tv/index.cfm?fa=MultiMedia.Detail&gid=1972

I had a dream about LOST. It turns out that the Security System is a giant Godzilla-like Lizard and Ice Cube is one of the survivors, so be on the look out. It turns out the Lizard killed the pilot because the pilot would have done more harm than good alive (being that the pilot would have tipped off everyone that help wasn't coming, creating a panic and whatnot). I should probably spoiler tag all this.

I invoke the Randleman Statute which decrees "Kevin Randleman, due to his vast inconsistency, cannot be used as a reference for anything other than inconsistency and lost potential."

Season 1: Forrest Griffin Stephan Bonnar Mike Swick Chris Leben Nate Quarry Josh Koscheck Ken-Flo Season 2: Joe Stevenson Luke Cummo Reshad Evans Brad Imes Keith Jardine Melvin Guillard Josh Burkman

I thought it was geek humour.

Poor CSI, they ALWAYS get name dropped by the WWE (or anyone representing the WWE) when it comes to their death storylines. I am confident that no one who name drops CSI in cases like these actually watches CSI. You'd think that after a death of someone close to them, the WWE would be more sensitive to the seriousness of death. Yet, it seems, every week after Eddies death they've managed to trivialize it as part of their skits. I'm not saying I'm offended by it morally (though intellectually is another thing all together), but I can safely say that those in the WWE who come up with and execute angles like these are absolutely heartless.

Hey, when Forrest fights with Food Poisoning and is bordering on shitting himself on live, national, television, yet still manages to pull through and get the win THEN he can man up like Bonnar. Breakin his arm, bunk that.

Wow. I liked Bas' commentary and he and Mauro were getting pretty darn good there in their last two shows (that I saw...). Trigg has been very good from the times that I've heard him commentate, but he doesn't have the same kind of charm that Bas had. I am, however, willing to give him a chance. End of an era, here.

Vince (and Linda, and Steph, and Shane) get paid for the PPVs they appear on, as a performer, in stock dividends, along with their regular positions in the company.

They're showing GSP/Loiseau/Sylvia showcases (again), so I am assuming the new episode is on at 11. Watched GSP/Hieron, and it's still an awesome performance by Rush. My god he tags Jay with a bunch of sweet punches. You gotta love Joe Rogan. GSP will nail Hieron a bunch of times and Joe will be "Wow, Jay recovered nicely!~". Any reason why Rogan is so reluctant to jump on St. Pierres bandwagon like he does so many other fighters?

I smell the Boogeyman eating Scotty II Hotty.

They must've missed Hardcore Heaven 2000. - Corino vs. Tajiri bloodbath - Tanaka/Mahoney stiff-fest - New Jack balcony dive and guitar solo.

Hey, come on now, without those guys, America would have exploded and everyone one of you would be dead or enslaved by outside forces. And by those guys, I of course mean the WWE.

You guys are such defeatists.

Why not just feed him to Paulo Filho?

It really sucks that Liddell will probably pick up Fighter of the Year in a lot of circles (I'm looking at a poll on TheFightNetwork site that has him at 60% in the voting), considering he only fought twice. Listen to the LAW in the next few weeks and you'll probably hear me on the line bitching about it (these are the same people who had Randy Couture as their 2004 Fighter of the Year). Whoever wins in Gomi vs. Sakurai has a legit claim of being #2 Fighter of the Year. GSP deserves a look at, given the way he beat Trigg and Sherk, and his performance against Miller. Has there been anyone as dominant as GSP has been this year? Ok, Arlovski. Against the same quality of opponents, though?