RavishingRickRudo

I was thinking Carlito as the ex-boyfriend as well. I think Taker should resurrect the dead bodies and make them his unholy zombie army to get back at the murderer. And there should also be, like, a vampire so they can have vampires vs. zombies.

Silva's guard is a buzillion times better than Chucks. It looked very good in the first fight against Yoshida. While Silva is not very well rounded, I'd say he's more well rounded than Chuck. Rampage beat Chuck standing because he can block punches really well and Chuck wasn't able to break through his defense. Chuck was neutralized. Rampage gets beaten standing when someone rushes him and overwhelms him. That's not Chuck. Chuck picks his spots and fires off, and Rampage can defend that. I see a rematch going the same way as it did the first time, cept maybe Chuck makes it through the entire fight and loses a decision.

But when the fuck do you see Liddell pull out submissions or a guard game in his losses? When Couture had him on the ground, he was flappin around. When Jackson had him on his back, he couldn't do anything. If you rely on one thing, eventually someone is going to solve you and you won't be able to adapt.

LOOSE BUSINESS would be a great name for a WWE film starring Val Venis and, let's say, Shelton Benjamin. Benjamin is a street hustler named Jimmy Loose who, when in a convenience store, gets tangled up in this lovers quarrel that involves Val Venises sister. He saves her, takes her to Vals, makes sweet love to her, all of which Val sees and is impressed by. He offers to make Loose into a Porn Superstar, which Loose accepts -if only to find a reason to be near and protect Vals sister (played by, let's say, Ashley). It turns out her old boyfriend ran with the mob in Las Vegas and is about to bring trouble into Jimmys life. The simple life of a street hustler just got a lot more complicated. But like they say, there's no business like Loose Business.

They should have more people off themselves after a Josh Mathews interview. He can start off so chipper and after weeks of seeing people die, Mathews can turn the gun on himself. Smackdown can stage an intervention for Mathews, have him talk to a priest alone in a room. "So, Josh, your friends on Smackdown have been telling me that you've been thinking about killing yourself, why? "Well, father, week after week I've been interviewing people and after the interview they end up killing themselves. I can't help but think I have some part to play in their deaths. I try to put on this happy face, but it's all a mask. I guess the real problem is..." *Door closes* *A few seconds later* BANG! *Door opens* "Oh, this ain't funny no mo" - Josh Mathews, leaving the room.

I am disappointed. When I read the title for this thread, I thought the WWE was advertising a Tim White Suicide Kit.

But see, I prefer well rounded fighters and think they are the superior _fighters_. Someone who relies purely on defense in some areas is bound to get solved by another fighter (Chuck/Randy 1), but if you have a well developed game, you can not only survive anywhere, you can win anywhere. You know, that whole Bruce Lee shit with being water.

It's all about the Hamiltons baby, Throw the snacks in the bag and I'm ghost like Swayze. So good.

I will give WWE writers credit, because Benjamins promo last week ended with him going bad ass with the deep voice. They need to think of a dozen one-liners that would sound good with his voice and just have him say them on tv. But that's where the credit begins and ends, because the majority of that promo had SB talking like a whiny bitch.

You don't have Steve Austin talk like the Rock. You don't have the Rock talk like Hulk Hogan. You don't have Hulk Hogan talk like Ric Flair. You don't have Ric Flair talk like Jim Cornette. You don't have Jim Cornette talk like Paul Heyman. You don't have Paul Heyman talk like Arn Anderson. These are all great promo men, who cut promos their way and not like anyone else. The Rock cutting a Steve Austin style promo would suck. Jim Cornette talking like Paul Heyman would suck. Is Shelton in any of these guys' leagues? No. But even the best, given the wrong material and the wrong character, will end up sounding like shit.

You know having the IC title is a bad thing at this point, right? Benjamin was looking for world title shots when he was IC champion, that should be an indicator of how the IC belt is looked at in the WWE world. It's nothing more than a placeholder, and in most cases, it's something to hold a wrestler back. Shelton has charisma, he can cut a money promo, and he can get the fans into his matches. The WWE just hasn't been using him in a way where he can show it on a regular basis.

Shelton is doing things which defy logic, common sense, and better judgement.

They are making Shelton an idiot. This is his gimmick. He's retarded. Shelton has the most physical potential out of anyone in the WWE since Brock Lesnar and they have him constantly losing. This is the exact opposite of what they did with Lesnar, and it boggles the mind, because what they did with Lesnar worked, and what they're doing with Shelton never does.

I too am giving away wrestler autographs. If they all end up looking the same, which is to say looking the same as my own handwriting, it is purely coincidental.

Aw crap. I totally forgot about RVD.

From 2000-on, me thinks. 1. Regal 2. Rosie 3. Benjamin 4. Venis - Above average wrestler, above average mic skills, can make just about anyone look good in the ring, but is completely limited by being Val Venis. 5. Kurt Angle - This isn't in regards to pushes, because he has gotten a ton of them. The misuse here comes in the form of saddling someone with his athletic ability with a geek gimmick, one that he hasn't been able to shake. 6. Chris Jericho 7. Ultimo Dragon - They didn't even try here. 8. Funaki 9. Chris Benoit - I think, in terms of story, they dropped the ball so much with him and had him turn and switch brands so many times and move up and down the card and came SO CLOSE to doing something right with him but never took that extra-step. 10. Rey Mysterio - the guy is so over, has so many marketable things about him, and can wrestle just about anyone to a good match, the dude deserves a run with the title. That he hasn't gotten it despite all of the above is gross misuse. Honourable Mentions: Lance Storm, Tajiri, Jamie Knoble, The Hurricane, Goldberg.

That's because they would most likely be sparring and Fedor was getting ready to apply a rear naked choke. Their training is so advanced that they wrestle in the nude because it makes everything more difficult cause it's more slippery. Cocks in Anuses may just be a cultural thing. I don't call Brazilians gay because they lace each other with kisses or have sexy chest hair and wear really tiny shorts.

No. It's one huge tease that will never get delivered because both sides have their own interests to protect.

WOW. Out-selling Wrestlemania. That's fucking nuts.

Jericho had his own interview segments, tons of mic time and segments, his own high-profile feuds, long matches against a variety of opponents. Yes, he could have been more than what he was, but the dude was never pissed on by the big show or had to kiss Vince McMahons ass on live tv. I think some perspective is needed, not just a knee jerk reaction. Jericho is in the top 10 of misused wrestlers, but I don't think he ranks in the top 5 given the gap between talent/ability/potential and use in and by the WWE. I will also say Funaki has been misused greatly. They have pushed him twice, one with Kaientai and the INDEED gimmick, and one as Smackdowns Numbah One Announcah. He got over in BOTH. Yet they used him as a jobber.

I would say that he is there behind Regal and Rosie. Regal especially. The dude can cut an awesome promo, has awesome facial expressions, and is awesome in the ring. When the Eugene angle was going strong, they could have used it to really elevate Regal, instead they used it to elevate HHH and cut Regal off at the knees. Rosie is like Regal, cept more misused, and less impressive in the ring. But he makes up for that in size and agility. I am convinced the dude could be one of their best promos, he is one of their best actors, and has a certain degree of charisma that goes completely untapped.

Andrei Arlovski - an awesome stand up fighter, some quick and very hard hitting hands that can do serious damage. I think he is being seriously protected, though, by the UFC. I can understand why they do that, because stability is something that tends not to happen in the UFC outside the welterweight division and the longer AA holds the title, the better. But in terms of how to judge him as a fighter, I want to see him tested. I want to see his back against the cage, I want to see him on the ground, I want to see him against someone who doesn't want to trade hands with him. Chuck Liddell - I can't rank Chuck as the #1 LHW in the world. I just can't. The guy has one of the most impressive records in the sport yet I can't think of him as the best in the game because he's so damn one dimensional. Randy Couture, to me, is the best LHW in the world, still, despite his recent loss to Liddell. I don't even know if Liddell beating Couture again would convince me otherwise. I think Couture matches up bad for more guys than Chuck does. Rich Franklin - I've been a fan of Franklins since I saw him debut against Tanner in the UFC. The guy had "the future" written all over him, and I am kinda disappointed that he never stayed at LHW. His recent performances against Tanner and Quarry have been very impressive, if not scary given the way he beat them. Well rounded, his fight against Rivera tends to get overlooked (it was very good), and the guy is just really likable. Like AA, he's being protected by the UFC so they can have long reigning champions, but I can't wait for him vs. Loiseau. Matt Hughes - I used to really not like Matt Hughes. Probably because I was a big Carlos Newton fan and for the most part found his fights to be boring. However, in the past few years I've grown to like him more based on his dickishness. The dude cuts some amazing promos where he obliterates his opponents even before the fight starts. His stuff with Trigg is classic, both in and out of the ring. There are two huge match ups against BJ and GSP that it seems they are pissing away by having (rumoured) BJ vs. GSP for a #1 contenders spot.

Hey. Just because you were turned on by those naked sweaty Russians doesn't mean it was gay.

Ballet is like bizarro Wrestling, or vice versa. In Ballet, the goal is to get as slim as possible, while in wrestling the goal is to get as big as possible. They do, however, both wear tights. Fags.

Wait. So the dude WASN'T Downhome? Fuck. *Owes LOTC 10 bucks*