zyon

“I’M BORN!!!” “I’M ALIVE!!!” SWF returns from another boring mandatory commercial, just in time for the beginning of “Vitamin.” “Welcome back folks. Last week Zyon and Akira Kaibatsu put on a gorgeous contest with Akira picking up the upset victory.” “Upset. Oh c’mon Pete lets add a bit more flare than that. Akira “pulled a Zyon,” is what many in the SWF said. For those unaware or mentally insufficient, “pulling a Zyon” is picking up an upset victory, BUT WITH FEELING!” “What can I say? King when you’re right…” “When I’m right I’m going to shove it in your face.” The stuffed MTS Center explodes for the former cruiserweight champion who essentially leaps through the curtain, hopping around in place. Peering through the anxious Winnipeg audience, Zyon salutes the crowd before sprinting down the ramp. “Hey Pete wouldn’t you say Zyon looks a bit naked tonight?” “Clever, King. Really clever of you to point out that Zyon is no longer the cruiserweight champion even though everyone was able to watch it last week, along with the thirty replays that span over eight channels.” “Wow Pete, somebody is slurping the hateorade.” Bounding on to the ring apron, Zyon flips over the top rope, landing perfectly on his feet. The Unique Youth opts to skip his ceremonial taunt, and instead chooses to retreat into a random turnbuckle. “It seems Zyon isn’t in the mood to cater to the audience tonight?” “That could be correct King. Nobody predicted that the Divine Wind would decimate the radical youth like he did. It was a fantastic match, but in all honesty, Akira came in with a full proof strategy, and executed it with precision.” “And if you save yourself . . .you will make him happy” “HE’LL KEEP YOU IN A JAR, AND YOU’LL THINK YOU’RE HAPPY!” “The rare sounds of “Sappy” are sure to pump this crowd up even more.” Longdogga is right as the new cruiserweight champion and his manager push pass the black curtain. “Kaibatsu sure looks comfortable with that belt.” King remarks. The all-star manager, Mr. Kobe calmly talks strategy with his client, Akira Kaibatsu. It’s mainly a one sided conversation as the Japanese import nods his head from moment to moment, concentrating on the task at hand. “YEEEEAAAAAHH!” The crowd is surprisingly erupting for the Divine Wind, who usually never communicates with the audience. “It seems the crowd has taken toward the new cruiserweight champion.” “Well with the last one being Zyon, I of all people have taken to him.” Entering the ring the wrestler/manager duo, nonchalantly retreat into a random corner, awaiting further instructions. “Man this bogus, these two do not deserve BOXING STYLE INTROS two weeks in a row.” The announcing behemoth, “Don’thaveafirstname” Funyon reaches for a mic, almost crushing it in the process. “This match is one fall, with a SIXTY MINUTE TIME LIMIT! It is for the SWF CRUISERWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP OF THE WORLD!” “YEEEEAAAAAAHH!” The audience screams while King questions the authenticity of that announcement. “Of the world? When was the last time the cruiserweight title was defended in Germany, Japan, Korea, Doomtopia, Unknown Residence?” “It’s been defended in all of those areas except the last two. Even though, Unknown Residence is quite popular amongst the fed.” “Yeah I heard they have good chilly.” The five star WRESLTING commentators continue to debate about chilly, while Funyon almost breaks a blood vessel in his neck. “First the challenger. To my right, he hails from ELKHART, INDIANA. Weighing in at 200 lbs. He is the UNIQUE YOUTH, ZYYYYYYON!!!!!” “YEEEEAAAAHHWHOOOOYEAH!” The crowd explodes for the former champ who takes an arrogant bow. “And to my left. Accompanied to the ring by Mr. Kobe. He comes to us from SENDAI, JAPAN. Weight in at 195 lbs, the SWF CRUISERWEIGHT CHAMPION, HE IS THE DIVINE WIND Akkkkkkkkkkkkkkkiiiiiiiiiirrrrrraaaaaaaa Kaaaaaiiiibbbbbbattttssu!” “WHOOOOYYYYYYEEAAAH!” The crowd also erupts for the honorable Akira Kaibatsu who simply rolls his shoulders. That’s right he doesn’t even hoist his title up or anything…that’s some kind of will power. “If this match is anything like last week’s, we are in for a treat.” “Or a pounding headache. Sometimes I swear, they move too fast. And in Zyon’s case, move to only blow a spot.” DING DING DING!!!! Catching the atmosphere off guard, referee Nick Soapdish immediately signals for the bell. “And we are off.” The two cruiserweights approach each other exchanging words. Zyon looks completely dumbfounded by Akira’s language. Figuring that speaking to the youth is a lose cause; Akira simply extends his hand, respectfully. Rolling his eyes, the youth takes the hand, hoping that this is the only handshake of the night. “Last week these two went through a startling amount of handshakes.” Noticing Zyon’s right leg, Akira attempts to finish what he started last week, shooting downward for a takedown. The youth staggers backward, avoiding the attack, dropping down to lock the Divine Wind down in a waist lock. Akira tries to grind his way out of his position, but Zyon has the higher ground, thus giving him the advantage, or so one would think. Using his superior strength, Akira rolls to the left, landing on top of Zyon, pinning his shoulders to the mat. ONE… “Far too early.” Pete calls it. Zyon forces himself to his feet by bridging up and twirling. During this twirl, Akira has found himself the victim of a standing head scissor. Zyon looks to hoist his opponent upward, but the cruiserweight champion pushes off, and spinning out. Hooking his leg behind Zyon’s, the Divine Wind drives his body backward, slamming Zyon into the mat with a Russian leg sweep! “Is it just me Pete, or does Zyon look a tad bit slower?” “King you could be right. Zyon’s right leg did take sufficient damage last week.” Both men roll away from each other, rising to their feet. Akira lunges toward the youth for another takedown. This time, Akira latches on to the former champion with a double leg, but Zyon stops the actual takedown by falling back into the turnbuckle. With the two individuals tied up, referee Nick Soapdish orders the two to break…cleanly. Cautiously, the Divine Wind rises, searching for a Zyon cheap shot. Happy to see his cheerful challenger blocking his face, Akira simply retreats, giving Zyon a chance to compose himself. “I would of knocked his block off.” “Yeah King we know.” Pete deadpans well aware of Suicide King’s tactics. Rushing from the corner, Zyon reaches for Akira’s hand, but the rookie import pulls away. Persistent, the Divine Wind reaches for Zyon’s right leg, but the youth moves it out of Akira’s grasp. Realizing this is one of those feeling out processes, Zyon does just that. “CRACK!!” He feels Akira’s face with his forearm! With the new champion stunned, Zyon seeks to take his opponent’s head off with a lariat, but the speedy Divine Wind ducks, sneaking behind Zyon, and locking him in a reverse waist lock. Keeping his head low, Akira assures his safety from the oncoming elbow. “SWISH!” See. Zyon is no brute, but he tries his damnest to break Akira’s grip with muscle. With his grasp budging away slowly, Akira hoists Zyon backward for a German suplex, but the youth will have none of that. Squeezing Akira’s hips, Zyon wraps his legs around the Asian Underground member before rolling forward, doing what he can to surprise Akira with a pin. However, Akira is the one full of surprises as he stops Zyon’s momentum, stepping over and dropping to his ass. Unaware of Akira’s true intentions, Zyon struggles to break free as the Divine Wind locks the youth down with a simple leg lock…ON THE RIGHT LEG!! “YEEEAAAHH!” “Such ruckus over a leg lock?” “King look what leg it’s on.” “Oh yeah. Pete way to prove you have no life by the way.” “I’m just doing my job, King.” “Bullshit. I have it on good authority that you sleep with a videotape of the famous Bret Hart vs. Steve Austin submission match. Fricking weirdo. No wonder why your kid turned out so bad.” King absolutely burns his partner in crime. The crowd can feel the early desperation as Zyon claws his way toward the ropes, gripping the bottom one. “Break it!” Soapdish orders, to which Akira immediately obliges. Preparing for another onslaught of action, Akira’s stance is that of a shoot wrestler. Zyon on the other hand, serenely stretches his leg out, even hopping in place to prove that his right leg is quite sufficient. Grinning from ear to ear, Zyon charges forward putting emphasis on his right leg, continuing to prove that his leg is fine. Stopping Zyon dead in his tracks, the Divine Wind rolls toward the youth, ending up behind Zyon. Lunging for a grapple, Akira’s eyes grow as Zyon leaps forward, extending his legs, stabbing the cruiserweight champion with a mule kick. Rolling through, Zyon rushes back to his feet, while Akira clutches his sternum, doubled over. Hooking Akira in a front face lock, Zyon hoists his opponent backward, dropping him with a snap suplex. Rising to his feet, Zyon forces Akira back to his feet by his mask, firing off a standard right hand. Just like the karate movies he used to watch, Akira catches the fist, countering with a blistering overhand chop! “SMACK!” “WHOOOOOO!” The young American cruiserweight clutches his chest as the young Japanese cruiserweight latches on to Zyon’s hand, Irish whipping him across the ring. Stutter stepping, Zyon leaps forward, springing off the middle rope, twisting through the air, and killing the atmosphere with a dazzling clothesline! The atmosphere takes the entire blow since the evasive cruiserweight champion once again rolls forward, dodging the rebound. Hustling back to his feet, Akira pounces on Zyon, trapping him in a reverse waist lock. “These two are looking to tear the house down once again.” “Tear the house down? Sorry that’s saved for the rare six man later tonight. These two are just the opening act.” “You do know Tool once opened up for Nickelback, right? “That’s blasphemy and you know it.” While Zyon and Akira joust for position, the Canucks decide to have their voices heard. “LET’S GO ZYON! CLAP CLAP CLAP!” “AKIRA, AKIRA, AKIRA!” The unorganized duel chant breaks out just as Zyon performs a standing switch! Akira now finds himself struggling to break free as he stomps his way toward the ropes. Unsure of his opponent’s motive, the Unique Youth decides to hold on for the ride until Akira, who shoots low sending Zyon out of the ring, between the top and middle rope, rudely slings him off. Zyon’s feet are the first to touch the thin mats, and his eyes are second to make a reaction. Watching his fearless opponent climb the turnbuckle, Zyon mentally challenges the cruiserweight champion to make a move. Perched on the top rope, Akira hesitates leaving everyone in the arena confused. Even Mr. Kobe has no idea what the Divine Wind has planned. “Akira would be a fool to continue this course of action. Zyon is well prepared for what’s to come.” King makes a good point. Zyon’s eyes lock in on Akira who LEAPS off the turnbuckle. Refusing to give the Divine Wind the benefit of a doubt, Zyon moves away from the landing… …The would be landing that is. Unknown to Zyon, Akira leaped from the top rope to the middle rope, SPRINGING OFF THE MIDDLE ROPE WITH AN ASAI MOONSAULT THAT CRUSHES ZYON TO THE FLOOR!!! “Holy Shit!” A small chant breaks out, mainly from those in the front row. “A double jump Asai moonsault. Where did he get that from?” Pete is astounded by the maneuver. “OBVIOUSLY, a Chuck Norris film.” King excitedly answers. “King…” Pete is speechless. The MTS Center is up in arms as Akira and Zyon lay on the floor. Referee Nick Soapdish decides to start his count wickedly late…yeah it’s definitely coming out of his paycheck. ONE TWO THREE Akira barely phased from his own suicidal aspiration, rises back to his feet, pumping his fist toward the audience. Mr. Kobe can only shake his head, recognizing that his client might be losing focus. Grabbing Zyon by his sweat soaked hair, the Divine Wind CATCHES A FOREARM! “Zyon comes back after falling to that amazing Asai moonsault.” Latching on to Akira’s wrist, Zyon plants his foot, whipping Akira toward the steel ring steps. FOUR FIVE The Divine Wind’s grip does not break however, as he counters sending Zyon toward the ring steps. The audience witnesses the horrible one trip vacation as Zyon collides with the ring steps knee first, sending him up and over the steps!!! “CRASH!!!” “OOOOOOOO!” The crowd remarks as the main camera focuses on the downed Zyon, clutching his right knee! “Oh no…” Pete trails off. “Ugh, weakness for Zyon, located on aisle seven.” King remarks. SIX SEVEN EIGHT NINE TEN Realizing that everything is clear, the pleasantly plump Mr. Kobe runs over to his client. Patting him on the back, Mr. Kobe relinquishes important info to his client regarding Zyon’s right leg. ELEVEN TWELVE Panting, Akira rolls back into the ring while Zyon continues to clutch his knee. THIRTEEN FOURTEEN Showing a sign of life, the wounded youth makes it back to his feet, pulling himself up on the ring apron. Being the relentless warrior that he is, Akira blindly struts forward; unsure what to do once Zyon pulls back on the top rope, springing into the air!!! Forcing his right arm back, Zyon poses in the air for a sure fire Kodak moment before dropping down on his bewildered opponent with a HIGH IMPACT forearm strike!!!! “YEEEAAAAHHHH!” The crowd roars. “But Zyon’s knee has got to be messed up, right?” “I’m no doctor, but with a couple days rest with ice and medication, I’m sure he’s healed up nicely. And I’m sure that collision with the ring steps were a set back, but it’s not like Akira has been tearing at the knee the whole match.” Pete brings the psychology. The courageous youth takes a moment to tend to his knee before going for a lateral press. ONE… TWO…kickout. “Well rather Zyon is in pain or not, it’s going to take a lot more punishment to put away a fellow spot monkey.” The Divine Wind finds himself on his feet, thanks to his opponent. The former cruiserweight champion hoists the current cruiserweight champion into the air with a scoop, only to have Akira squirm making things majorly difficult. Losing his balance, Zyon can’t help, but allow the Divine Wind to float over. Landing on his feet, the sensational import fires in a down angle, clipping Zyon’s right knee!!!! “GAH!” Zyon shouts, terrified by memories of the Lockdown encounter. On all fours, Zyon tries to crawl away, but the aggressive Akira Kaibatsu clasps his hands around the leg of his opponent. Placing his foot on Zyon’s knee joint, the Divine Wind lifts his opponent’s leg before driving it knee first into the mat! “Akira is set to have an encore of the Lockdown match.” Pete believes “Pete we all know that sequels suck.” “Which is why I called it an encore.” “Yeah…well…you…you suck.” “Ouch…really.” Pointing his foot into the knee joint of his opponent, Akira does the exact same move again, driving his opponent’s knee into the canvas! Zyon’s face morphs into multiple expressions of pain as he attempts to claw himself away from his opponent. Pushing himself back to his feet, Zyon hops around on his non-injured leg. Sensing blood, the shark like Kaibatsu stalks his opponent. His opponent though is not ready to give in, firing off a closed right hand that connects! Putting his hurt leg back on the mat, Zyon tries to walk normally, while firing off a closed left fist that also connects. With his opponent staggering, Zyon lunges in an angle, looking to shove his shoulder into Akira’s sternum. Defending himself, Akira halts Zyon’s momentum with a STIFF kick to the face!! “CRACK!!!” “OOOOOUCH!” King could feel the shot. The kick sends Zyon staggering backward, blinded by his own hands, which clutch his face. Planting his foot into the canvas, Akira strides toward the ropes closest to Zyon, springing off the middle rope. Instinctively, the Unique Youth turns around just as the Divine Wind twists so that he is facing Zyon. Zyon challenges Akira’s foot…with his face. “CRACK!!!!” And of course the face loses. “GAH!” Zyon pulls at his face, while many in the arena have polls on how many bones were just shattered. The former cruiserweight champion would have easily fallen to the mat, but the ropes act as an aid, holding the youth on his feet. The relentless cruiserweight champion charges down the battlefield, lunging at Zyon with a lariat. Totally apathetic at this point, Zyon ducks, hurling the Divine Wind over the top rope! “Is he trying to get himself disqualified!” “Pete calm down. Look, Akira didn’t even touch the floor.” “YEEEAAH!” Limping away from the battle, Zyon notices the familiar cry from the audience. Akira springs off the top rope, scissoring his legs through the air…jumping over Zyon? Fatigued, Zyon’s reaction time is a little slow, while the current cruiserweight champion lands on the mat in a crouched position. Extending his leg, Akira forces his foot into the back of Zyon right knee! Drained, Zyon collapses to one knee, watching as Akira bounces off the near ropes. The Unique Youth holds his breath as he takes a page from Japanese wrestling, forcing himself to roll forward. Shrugging the roll off, Akira continues to charge forward, until Zyon leaps into the air, pinching both legs into his opponent’s hamstring while pulling back on Akira’s head. Mr. Kobe can only watch on as Zyon wills Akira over with a monkey flip!!! “YEEEAAAAHHHH!” The Winnipeg audience cheers as Zyon rises back to his feet, tending to his hurt right knee. Unaware of the fact that Akira used his tremendous balance to land safely on his feet, Zyon slowly turns around…defenseless. “CRACK!!!” Akira leaps backward, twisting his elbow toward his stunned opponent, knocking him backward with a diving Roaring Elbow! “WHAT A…” “PETE! We know what a shot! Yeah mark out and get on with it.” Once again, Zyon would be out on the ground, but this time a random turnbuckle saves him from hitting the canvas. Showing off, Akira rolls toward Zyon before launching himself at the youth with a devastating shoulder to the sternum! Zyon’s precious oxygen exits his lungs, while his face turns a pale white. One to not dwell on past accomplishments, Akira lifts Zyon’s right leg, setting it on the middle rope. Lifting his own leg, Akira strikes Zyon’s exposed right knee. “GAH!” Music to Akira’s ears. The masked wrestler launches a multitude of stomps at his opponent’s injured right knee. Pain shoots through Zyon’s right leg as Akira Kaibatsu continues to stomp a mud hole in the wounded right knee. Some youngster’s in the audience choose to look away, but they can’t ignore the blood curling screams that Zyon unleashes to try and lessen the excruciating pain. Once he’s finished wearing out his opponent, Akira grabs Zyon, pulling him away from the turnbuckle. Cradling the youth’s right leg in his arms, Akira hoists his opponent straight into the air, dropping him into a knee-to-knee collision! The youth bounces off his opponent’s knee, collapsing to all fours. “Look King, Zyon still refuses to give in.” “It’s just a matter of time.” Unknown to Zyon rather his right knee is torn apart or not; the Unique Youth fires his right foot toward his Japanese opponent. Underneath the mask, Akira must be smiling as he catches the foot, easily. Hopping on one foot, Zyon does his best to balance himself, twisting his body before he leaps into the air, dragging his foot across the air. The only thing truly identifying on Akira’s face is the Divine Wind’s eyes. These very eyes bulge with the horror of his opponent’s foot flying at his head. Last time these two met, Akira simple shook the attack off, but this time, the destruction of brain cells is just not worth it. “SWISH!” The current cruiserweight champion unknowingly licks his lips, having another vision of their last encounter. Setting the youth up for a replay, Akira slowly twists his body BEFORE RECEIVING A REBOUND KICK TO THE FACE!!!! “Akira got comfortable. He was so sure that he could counter the enziguri with that modified dragon screw.” Pete notes. Grazing his opponent’s bone structure that lies under a mask, Zyon carefully limps away from his opponent, frightened by the sudden sound of heavy patenting. Turning his body, Zyon plants both feet, grappling his charging opponent, sending him straight into the air. Collapsing to one knee, Zyon clutches his tender right leg as the acrobatic Akira Kaibatsu lands feet first…on the top rope. “YEEEEAAAHH!” “Look at that balance, King!” “No, I don’t feel like it.” “Why not?” “Because you always order me to look at something.” Zyon snaps his head around, realizing the dream of an opening. Akira struggles to balance himself on the top rope, but with the specific coaching from Mr. Kobe, he saves himself. However, the suspense refuses to leave as Zyon lunges forward, pulling down on the top rope. The shockwave forces Akira to drop, crotching himself on the top rope before falling backward… “CRACK!!!” …Smacking the back of his head on the canvas. “TREE…OF…WOE!!” King excitedly points out the obvious. Proving his consciousness to the world, Akira immediately flails and squirms to break free, but to no avail. Confident, Zyon slowly limps to the opposite turnbuckle, pointing at the current cruiserweight champion. The Unique Youth charges down the battlefield, stomping on his left foot, dragging the other. Akira’s eyebrow narrows as his eyes seemingly glow, and Zyon missed it. Sliding to the ground, the youth extends both legs, aiming for the masked face of his fellow cruiserweight. But with a tense of the leg muscles and constant coaching from Mr. Kobe, the Divine Wind hurls himself upward, leaving Zyon to crotch himself on the unforgiving steel ring post!!!! “OOOOOOOOOOO!!” The crowd echoes as Zyon looks as if he wants to either cry or pass out. Choking on the air that leaves his system, the youth attempts to crawl away from his death trap. Yet the Divine Wind moves swiftly, dropping to the ground in a single bound. The slightly sinister Mr. Kobe can only smile as his client unloads a firm boat to the kneecap of the trapped youngster. The pain continues to thrive on Akira’s sharp kick as the Japanese import goes ballistic with boot after boot. “It seems Akira is still in the mind set he was during the later half of Lockdown’s match.” “In other words, Pete, you are saying that Akira is Godzilla to Zyon’s Tokyo.” “Ugh…yeah. That would be correct.” Finished with this piece of impoved strategy, Akira forces Zyon to the outside; cautiously watching the always-active youth crumble to the floor. Motioning the crowd to get back since they can’t understand him anyway, Akira forces the youth back to his feet. Latching on to Zyon’s right leg, Akira extends it high into the air, aggressively driving it onto the “safety” barrier! “GAH!” Zyon shouts again, coming to the sad realization that the yelling isn’t helping. Assisted by his opponent, Akira rolls Zyon into the ring. Rolling into the ring behind Zyon, Akira Kaibatsu hoists Zyon back to his feet. “SMACKKKKK!” “WHOOOO!” The wounded youth denies the firm instinct of clutching his chest. Instead, he continues to tend to his injured right leg. Taking full control of the match, Akira kicks his Zyon in the sternum, hoisting him into the air from the front face lock position. Taking an immense amount of time to poise himself, Akira risks a momentum shift. “It seems Akira is having difficulty setting up the Divine Backbreaker.” Scissoring his feet, Zyon DOES swing the momentum to the point where he safely touches the canvas with his feet. Planting his foot, Zyon summons the testicular fortitude to hoists Akira into the air, until his wounded knee gives in!! Akira graciously lands on the mat, ready to win this battle of one upmanship. While the former cruiserweight champion clutches his knee, Akira once again hoists Zyon up and…over??? Floating over, Zyon flowingly locks the cruiserweight champion down with a reverse front face lock! “He’s going for the Wicked Cutter!” “Like totally. I heard this move is sick, dope, bad, the shit, totally awesome, and all around freaky.” King brings the young teenage slang. Struggling to complete the move, a shocking pain is located right at the opposite team’s focal point, the right knee. The opposite team known as the Divine Wind, hurls a blind elbow that crashes into Zyon’s knee. Leaving the crowd on the edge of their seat, Akira floats upward; breaking Zyon’s weak reverse front face lock. Wrapping his hands around his opponent’s head, Akira closes the youth in a neck cravate! “YEEEAAAAHHHH!” The excited Winnipeg audience rises to their feet as Akira strides toward the nearest turnbuckle, dragging the injured Zyon along for the hellacious ride. Kicking off the turnbuckle, Akira flips straight backward on to his feet…disappointingly not driving Zyon to the mat!!! “He pushed him off!!!” “WAY TO CALL THE OBVIOUS!!” Both men sweat heavy, but the unrelentless cruiserweight champion ignores fatigue, charging his broken down challenger. Spit soon exits the mouth of the Japanese cruiserweight as he comes to a dead stop, thanks to a desperate shoulder to the gut! With a brief opening, Zyon locks his leg behind Akira’s, falling backward with an overanxious DECLINE!!! “Jesus Zyon, can we not botch a reverse Russian leg sweep. That looked like a DDT!” King worries for Akira’s safety. The awkward landing is reason enough for Zyon to look at the turnbuckle, and to begin ascending the stairway to possible destruction. “This is an exact duplicate of Lockdown.” “Yep, and did it not end with Zyon MISSING the Final Flash.” S…l…o…w…l…y climbing to the top, Zyon takes a moment to check his right knee. Praying to whatever invisible man there is, the youth hopes his knee can hold up for this next stunt. Akira continues to show a lack of movement as a worried Mr. Kobe pounds the mat furiously. All systems are set to go as Zyon leaps off the top rope, beautifully flipping through the air. “AKIRA MOVED!!!” The announcers shout, as both Akira AND Mr. Kobe are as calm as a spring wind. All should be lost, but the youth continues to spin forward, landing on his feet!!! “He went for the 450 splash this time!” Zyon thinks he outsmarted his honorable opponent, but his knee bottoms out once again. The Divine Wind sprints forward, lunging toward his opponent, and taking his opponent’s will to fight away with a dreaded SHINING GAMENGURI!!!! “CRRRRRRRRAAAAAAACCCCCK!” Zyon lifelessly collapses into the middle turnbuckle. Resting his head on the turnbuckle, Zyon’s mystical green eyes, basically roll into the back of his head as the Divine Wind pulls the youth out. With Zyon on his stomach, the current cruiserweight champion wraps his legs around Zyon’s, twisting it…oh shit. “CROSS… KNEE… LOCK!” Pete has a right to put emphasis on this move. “Hey damnit. Still not as great as the TREE…OF…WOE!” King has no right at this point in the match. Hyperextending his opponent’s knee, Akira twists and twists. Zyon just like last week, screams, hollers, shakes, squirms, but there is nothing he can do. Beaten, Zyon let’s his hand hang in the air building the suspense. “PLEASE DON’T TAP!” At first Zyon believes it’s out of his hands, but the crowd reminds him to stay strong, long enough to see the bottom rope, just inches away…and he gets it. “BREAK!!!” Soapdish orders as the honorable Japanese youth does so right away. “Oh my god. Last week Zyon wasn’t anywhere near the ropes. This week would be much different.” Cradling his leg, Zyon notices his body rise to a full vertical base. After lifting his opponent off the mat, Akira places Zyon in a front face lock, hoisting him on to the top rope! Mr. Kobe is shocked, but soon pleased as Akira latches on to Zyon’s leg. “CRACK!” But receives a STIFF kick to the face. Stunned, Akira instinctively latches on to the foot again… “CRACK!!!” …Same result. Buzzing from the multiple headshots, Akira leaps on to the second rope, hooking the Unique Youth in a front face lock. The Divine Wind pulls backward viciously! “CRACK!!” During his blinded pulling, Akira takes a harsh forearm to the rib. Using nothing, but his upper body Zyon hoists and pushes, driving Akira to the mat face first! Turning on to his back, the Divine Wind stares at the expensive lights in the MTS CENTER! “YEEEEAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!” The crowd is rocking as the youth pushes himself into a perched position. Shaking his right leg, Zyon momentarily releases the kinks in his armor. Only momentarily…but a moment is all he needs to…fly. It’s low. It’s sloppy. But be damned if it’s not effective…FINAL FLASH!!! “Holy shit!” King yells as Zyon’s body crushes his opponent. Leaning backward, Zyon covers the cruiserweight champion. “ONE!!!” “TWO!!!” “THREE!!!!!” “YEEEEEAAAAAHHHHH!!!!” DING DING DING! The unmistakable sound of “Vitamin” boots up as Funyon makes the favored announcement. “The winner, and NEW SWF CRUISERWEIGHT CHAMPION OF THE WORLD, ZYYYYYON!!! “What a match!” “What a breakdown by Akira. He had the match, but his spotty instincts kicked in. And he had one of those all or nothing moments.” “King you would be one hundred percent right, but it’s easy to criticize while we are out here, and they are in there.” Zyon clutches his title, extending his hand toward the Divine Wind. Weakly, the two shake hands as the pudgy manager, Mr. Kobe approves. Rolling out of the ring Zyon hoists the title into the air. “Come and get it Spike.” FADE

SWF Lockdown returns from its mandatory scheduled commercial break for Poke, the new soft drink that combines the similar tastes of Coke and Pepsi. “Soak it up bitches” would be their brilliant slogan. A 360-degree view of the SOLD OUT Xcel Energy Center, located in St. Paul, Minnesota is shown as SWF television prepares to make memories for the thousands in attendance, and so far they completed their mission to entertain. The overanxious crowd has rarely taken their seats since they have been on their feet all night. With the Lethal Lottery in full stride, the SWF has booked a few singles matches along the way. Later will be the tremendous main event of a rookie sensation, and a man searching for his long lost career. However, at this moment, a cruiserweight title match shall greet the crowd!! The gorgeous undertone of silence fills the arena as the excited crowd explodes at the sight of one, Mr. Kobe. “How did such a pudgy man reach the pinnacle of managerial status in such little time?” “His own personality, along with the great upstarts that he has the joy of managing. Both Akira Kaibatsu and Michael Cross have made quite the name for themselves lately under the Asian Underground moniker. Tonight, both are in singles competition. The Divine Wind has a shot at the coveted cruiserweight title, while Michael Cross receives his first shot at the main event, against one Landon Maddix.” “Well then it looks like I’m the number one Asian Underground fan for tonight. Hopefully Akira dethrones Zyon, and Cross forces Maddix into retirement.” The pudgy, Mr. Kobe calmly waddles down to the ring with his original client at his side. Kobe’s expensive suit along with his demeanor explains to many that he lives a life of luxury, while his client’s strut is that of excitement. Akira covered in the colors of blue and white keeps in pace with his slower manager, cracking his neck along the way. “Introducing the challenger…Hailing from Sendai, Japan, weighing in at 195 lbs…accompanied to the ring by Mr. Kobe. He is the DIVVVVINE WIND AKIRA KAIBATSU!!!!” Funyon announces as the cheer from the audience are heard loud and clear. “YEEEEAAAAHHH!” “The people have come to love the Asian Underground. Hell, I’ve come to enjoy their work. They are so fluid and explosive, which could explain their undefeated record in the Lethal Lottery.” “Shocking, Pete. You in love with a fan favorite? Truly shocking.” The arrogant Suicide King sounds off. The manager and client calmly enter the ring with Akira showing brief signs of nervousness. The rookie paces the ring, cracks his knuckles, and even pumps his fist toward the crowd warming them up for what’s to come. Mr. Kobe barks orders at his client to calm down, which Akira immediately obeys… “I’M BORN!!!!” “I’M ALIVE!!!” “I BREATHE!!!” It’s a good thing Akira was able to chill out because the proverbial roof has been officially blown off! “YEEEEAAAAAAHHHHH!!!” “Good lord, listen to that reaction!” “It seems Zyon’s cheating has gotten him quite the fan base.” King snickers. Pete shakes his head, “Actually it’s the exact opposite. Time and time again, Zyon has admitted his faults. That would be something the people respect, not that you can sympathize with that or anything.” “And his opponent, Hailing from Elkhart, Indiana, and weighing in at 200 lbs. He is the reigning SWF CRUISERWEIGHT CHAMPION OF THE WORLD…ZYYYYYON!!!” With the glistening cruiserweight title around his waist, Zyon sprints down the entrance ramp, slapping hands on the way down. The youth energetically leaps on to the ring apron, receiving a cold stare from the honorable Akira Kaibatsu. The youth simply brushes the gesture off, saluting the crowd with a fist pump before entering the ring. Ready and willing to defend his title, Zyon unbuckles the gold around his waist, performing his standard head bang/arm raise combo, unleashing a wave of excitement. “It’s been quite some time since Zyon has had a one on one encounter.” “Yep, he doesn’t have Spike to watch his back.” “Well by Zyon’s reaction last week to Hardy questioning Zyon’s love for the cruiserweight title, I would say he doesn’t need his help.” “And by last week’s interview I’d say he needs help. Professional help that is.” King continues to take jabs at Zyon, while the Longdogga continues to defend the fan favorite. Referee Nick Soapdish hoists the shiny belt into the air, gaining the strict attention of both superstars…and a manager. Giving the title to a luxurious beauty on the outside, referee Nick Soapdish is ready to get this party started. DING DING DING!!! The Unique Youth hops around in place as Mr. Kobe gives Akira Kaibatsu one last instruction before exiting the ring. The masked Japanese import exits from his corner, confident that he can out wrestle the current cruiserweight champion. Not one to throw caution to the wind, Zyon leaves his corner with a dead sprint. Prepared for Zyon’s spotty offense, the Divine Wind steps forward hurling the youth around with a tilt-a-whirl. Losing his grip, Akira drops Zyon right back to his feet, leaving himself open for a sharp forearm. “CRACK!” The masked warrior stumbles backward slightly, while Zyon turns sprinting away. Instinctively, Akira takes a step forward as the youth leaps on to the middle rope, springing backward. Twisting in the air, Zyon hurls both feet toward Akira looking to shock him with a corkscrew missile dropkick. Side stepping the champion, Akira watches as Zyon crashes to the mat sternum first. Aiming for Zyon’s previously injured back, the Divine Wind attempts a flashy pendulum elbow drop. Fearing an early momentum shift, Zyon rolls out of the way, leaving Akira to brilliantly overshoot the wicked elbow, landing safely on his far hand. Keeping with the pace, Zyon leaps forward with a crisp forward roll, placing Akira in a half nelson, trapping him in a pinning position. ONE…kickout. The crowd prepares an Indy applause, but the two speedsters dare to continue at their blistering pace. One half of the Asian Underground sprints forward, lunging at the eager youth, who hooks Akira under the armpit, tossing him forward with a hip toss. The acrobatic Divine Wind flips forward, landing gracefully on his feet, while simultaneously reaching back, latching on to Zyon’s head. The challenger attempts to take Zyon over with a snapmare, but like his Japanese counterpart, Zyon lands on his feet. Catching Zyon off guard, the Divine Wind hurls the youth backward, rolling him up in a school boy pin attempt. ONE…push off. Zyon launches Akira off the pin attempt, shooting him forward. Hurrying to his feet, Zyon attempts to charge at Akira, while his back is turned. The quick footsteps from the youth are in audible range as the Divine Wind turns, latching his feet around the foot of the charging Zyon. Tripping the youth with a drop toe hold, Akira forces Zyon downward, throat first into the middle rope. Looking to take advantage, Akira leaps wishing to drive both feet into Zyon’s back! Sensing the immediate danger, Zyon spins away from the ropes. Breaking out the improv skills, Akira places both feet on the second rope, leaping backward toward the rebounding cruiserweight champion. Eyeing Akira, Zyon tries to prepare a defense as the Divine Wind blasts Zyon with a 45 degree ax handle smash! “YEAAAAHHH!” “These two are really going at it.” “Hey I’ll admit it. I’m enjoying myself.” The wicked double ax handle forces Zyon against the ropes giving Akira the chance to latch on to his opponent’s arm. Planting his foot, Akira Irish whips Zyon across the ring. The Unique Youth bounces off the ropes charging Akira, who stands ready for the cruiserweight champion. Seizing the youth, the Divine Wind spins Zyon around with a dazzling tilt-a-whirl. Mr. Kobe continues to cheer his client on as Akira loses his grip on the devilishly quick Zyon, falling into an arm drag counter from the youth! “YEAAAAHHH!” The crowd cheers the tilt-a-whirl counter, as it is Zyon who looks to be the aggressor, planting a boot into the sternum of his enemy. Akira fires back with a straight round house that Zyon barely avoids with a cartwheel escape to the side. Gaining the advantage from a crouched position, Zyon extends his leg looking to sweep Akira off of his feet. Though it was a good idea in theory the Divine Wind easily leaps backward, dodging the sweep with the crispness of karate masters like Chuck Norris and Jean Claud Van Damme. Carefully searching behind him, the youth puts his hands up set to take on whatever comes his way. What Zyon doesn’t know is that Akira actually, leaped on to the second rope during his averting of the sweep. Defiantly catching the youth off guard, the Divine Wind leaps off the second rope, hooking Zyon in a front face lock while spinning through the air. Akira shifts his momentum downward attempting to spike Zyon into the mat with a modified tornado DDT! Countering the apparent head drop, Zyon keeps his balance attempting to float Akira over with a northern lights suplex. In spite of Zyon’s shocking counter, Akira pushes off at the peak of Zyon’s lift, wrapping his legs around the youth’s head. The crowd gasps as Zyon drives the young Japanese wrestler toward the mat, but then cheer once Akira transitions the power bomb into a hurricarana!!! “What a series of counters performed by those two.” “I admit that was impressive. I’m mostly impressed by the fact that those two are capable of actual wrestling.” Reaching back to cradle Zyon’s leg, Akira gasps as the youth pulls him back into a roll up with his legs. ONE… Akira quickly rolls out, pushing Zyon’s legs over his shoulders with a jackknife like pin. ONE… Not do be outdone; Zyon reaches up struggling to break free. Countering the jackknife, Zyon pushes down on Akira’s head flipping him into the after effects of a sunset pin. ONE… “CRACK!” Akira decisively decides to break the pin with his foot, slamming it into the face of his opponent. Both men roll away from each other, pulling themselves up into a shoot wrestling stance. “CLAP CLAP CLAP!!!” The crowd applauds the two combatants. They continue their battle of mortal combat with Zyon going for a straight right hand. Showing the quickness of a cat or the reflects of actors in “bullet time” action flicks, Akira moves his head ever so slightly to the right, dodging the strike. Grappling Zyon around the waist, Akira throws the young cruiserweight champion over with a side suplex, twisting his body while extending his knee. With his knee extended, Akira slams Zyon back first across his knee with a majorly ingenious back breaker!!! “Wow, Akira busting the offense tonight.” “What offense? Two failed attempts at a tilt-a-whirl whatever the hell he was going to do, and fifteen minutes of spotty counters. Then again the move is aimed at the back.” “Which is no doubt due to Mr. Kobe’s scouting.” The match finally slows down as Zyon takes the time to clutch his back, leaving himself open for attack. Without warning, Akira forces Zyon back to his feet, only to immediately lift him off the ground by his waist. Extending his knee once again, Akira aggressively drops Zyon across his knee with a pendulum back breaker! The Unique Youth rolls off of Akira’s knee, exposing his back to the attacker. Hurrying to the outside, the Japanese warrior spring boards off the top rope, leaping into the air. Gaining velocity, the Divine Wind simply stabs his knee into the youth’s spine! “GAH!” Zyon cries out as Akira looks to maintain his offensive superiority. Clutching Zyon by the hair, Akira violently drags Zyon back to his feet, kicking him in the gut. First hooking the youth in a front face lock, the Divine Wind hoists Zyon vertically. Scissoring his legs from side to side, Zyon struggles to break free of his unwelcoming predicament. The scrunched up look on his face tells the viewers that Akira is indeed struggling to keep Zyon in the air, until the youth relieves the challenger of his pressure by flipping out behind his opponent. Feeling the momentum shifting, the crowd supports the reigning cruiserweight champion as he shuts Akira down with a reverse front face lock. “This is the beginning of the wicked cutter!” Pete shills. The Longdogga would be correct as Zyon spins out…vehemently shoved away by the Divine Wind!!! Persisting Akira, Zyon bounces off the ropes lunging into a TILT-A-WHIRL…BACK BREAKER!!!!! “Correction Pete. That WAS the beginning of the wicked cutter, but the fruitation of a devastating tilt-a-whirl back breaker.” Shutting his eyes, Zyon challenges himself to shut out the pain, unknowing of Akira’s next action. “CRACK!!!” Well now he knows. “GAH!” Zyon shouts, clutching his back after the stinging kick to his back. Pushing himself off the mat, Zyon falls right into the place of Akira Kaibatsu as the Divine Wind scoops Zyon off of his feet. Kicking the air, Zyon once again looks to squirm his way out of another horrible predicament. Feeling his grip loosed, Akira quickly body slams Zyon into the turnbuckle! The youth’s body dangles, trapped in the dungeon like tree of woe! “TREE OF WOE!” The Gambling man marks for the tree of woe. Zyon clutches his back, as everything he watches is not only blurry, but also upside down. Waving his hands around trying to break free, Zyon is blind to Akira exiting the ring. He is also blind to the Divine Wind’s current actions of grappling his opponent by the head. BUT, Zyon IS NOT blind to the fact that he is defenseless against the cunning strategy of one half of the Asian Underground. The youth’s hands flail all over the place as Akira pulls back on Zyon’s head, arching his back in an atrocious angle. Mr. Kobe openly approves of Akira’s aggressive manner, but senior official Nick Soapdish does not. The referee starts his mandatory count. ONE TWO THREE FOUR FIVE SIX “Heh, poor Zyon. Normally, Akira would be viewed as being overaggressive, but with the cruiserweight addenda he has plenty of time.” “King, you are absolutely correct. Akira has until the count of twenty to torture the reigning cruiserweight champ.” SEVEN EIGHT The youth continues to have his back torqued in an unpleasant manner, while Akira shows little remorse. The tad bit of remorse may originate from his honorable background, but with Mr. Kobe approving of Akira’s strategy…Zyon should expect more pain and punishment. NINE TEN Referee Nick Soapdish is officially half way as Akira decides to release the illegal hold. Zyon’s face swells a shade of red as he hangs upside down, weakened by Akira’s tactics. The Divine Wind briskly slides into the ring, lifting Zyon upward until he is halfway to becoming completely vertical. Wrapping one arm around the waist of his opponent, Akira drags Zyon away from his dungeon, carefully walking the youth away from the ropes. During this process of moving the Unique Youth, Zyon remerges from his defenseless state, placing a firm kick to the face of his opponent. Breaking free of Akira’s clutches, the youth falls to the mat landing on all fours. Slightly taken off track, the Divine Wind looms over the fallen champion, capable of taking advantage. However, a moment of hesitation gives Zyon ample opportunity to drive his shoulder into the gut of the challenger. The crowd slowly starts to get behind the champion who rises back to a full vertical base. Clutching his back, Zyon turns and bounces off the ropes, gaining quite a bit of speed. The youngster opts to leave the air one more, soaring through it like a pigeon with a message. Extending his arm, Zyon swims through the atmosphere as he falls toward the challenger with a clothesline. Aware of the wild cheering emanating from the audience, Akira instinctively rolls forward avoiding the collision. Physically, Zyon recovers by landing on his feet. Mentally, Zyon is a little broken as the crowd has cooled down along with the youth’s comeback. Examining his position, Zyon exits to the ring apron, prepping himself for another high risk maneuver. “CRACK!!” Akira though will have none of it as he drops the youth to the floor with an ultra slick Roaring Elbow! “Hey that’s cause for Disqualification!” King shouts. “Calm down King. Zyon was already on the ring apron. Akira didn’t toss Zyon over the top rope.” Pete talks down to King as if he was a simpleton. Carried by the impact of the Roaring Elbow, Zyon collapses on to the safety barrier. The crazed fans in the front row smack the youth on his back, encouraging him to keep fighting the good fight while even damaging him a little. Poking at his face, the current cruiserweight champion checks to make sure his jaw wasn’t relocated or anything. Shaking off the cobwebs, Zyon flips his hair out of his eyes, turning with a sudden look of dismay covering his facial expression. Delighting the crowd with his dazzling offense, Akira sprints forward floating over the top rope, horizontally corkscrewing through the air! Slicing the atmosphere with a multitude of rotations, the Divine Wind dazzles the audience as he drops down on to Zyon!!!! “WHYEEAAAHHHHHHWHOOO!” The crowd celebrates what they just seen. “What a move! Not only did he leap over the top rope, but he also spun over them giving himself enough time to add in a second rotation. Amazing!” “Way to risk life and limb for a cheap pop, Kibatman.” King purposely botches Akira’s last name. Taken back by the suicidal persona of one Akira Kaibatsu, referee Nick Soapdish takes a moment to replay what he just witnessed. Once he regains his bearings, Soapdish throws his hands up starting the cruiserweight twenty count. ONE TWO THREE The challenger rises back to his feet, showing little ill effects from the dangerous maneuver he performed moments ago. Seizing Zyon by the hair, Akira forces the youth back to his feet, rolling him back into the ring. “Oh c’mon Akira, torture that spot monkey on the outside.” “Ugh King, wouldn’t you call that amazing dive to the outside done by Akira a spotty move?” “Why of course I would, but it worked. Not only did it worked, but it was successful on Zyon, which makes it all the better.” “Oh, well in any case Akira can’t win the title due to count out. So I’d say it’s best to keep the match in the ring.” Pete makes a grand point. The wounded youth rolls to a kneeling position trying to regain his thoughts. Akira though perches himself on the ring apron, inviting himself to dethrone Zyon of his title. Panting and moving in and out of consciousness, Zyon spotlights the Divine Wind as the challenger springs off the top rope. With pain circulating through out his body, Zyon leaps into the air from his crouched position, extending both feet in the direction of the elevated Akira Kaibatsu. While his eyes grow to the size Dante Culpepper’s contract, Akira does his best to avoid the hurt coming his way… …But fails. “CRACK!” “OOOOOOOOOO!” The crowd echoes in unison as Akira falls to the mat lifeless, a victim of the always dangerous SNAP front dropkick! The air completely drained from his body, the Divine Wind can best be described as a prune, while the Unique Youth can best be described as a man with a second chance. “YEEEEAAAAHHH!” The Xcel Energy Center erupts as Zyon pulls himself back to his feet via a kip up!!!! Only to crumble back to the mat, clutching his back! “See Pete, even little moments of flash takes so much out of Zyon. It’s just a matter of time now.” Despite King’s comments, Zyon picks himself up off the mat. Staring down at his opponent, Zyon lifts the honorable Japanese import back to his feet, pulling him into the Decline!!! “Zyon is going for a homerun. The reverse Russian leg sweep could do the trick.” Rather or not Pete would be right in his assumption is never realized as Akira launches an elbow at the temple of his opponent. Zyon staggers to the side, bouncing off the ropes and flying back with an airborne forearm. Slicing Akira across the face with the desperate strike, Zyon bends behind his opponent locking him in a reverse waist lock. Dazed from the leaping forearm, Akira is defenseless against the champion, who hurls the challenger backward with a sloppy German suplex. Pointing his toes to the mat, Zyon clasps on to Akira, attempting to bridge up. ONE…collapse. “King you could very well be right. Zyon couldn’t even bridge the German suplex because of his back.” Visibly hurting, Zyon pulls himself back to his feet, along with dragging Akira back to his. Wanting to chain his moves together, Zyon launches a boot toward the sternum of his opponent. Instead, his foot ends up in the clutches of the challenger. Cautiously, Zyon hops around on one foot searching for an openly. Focusing on Akira’s head, the youth throws a brutal enziguri that terrorizes the air it floats through. Realizing Akira ducked the shot, Zyon prepares a rebound…only to find himself reeled in by the Divine Wind. Smoothly, Akira falls backward latching on to the youth, bringing him down back first against his knees!!! “I love me some lung blower!” King smiles. “As perverted as that sounds King, the lung blower is definitely effective in the current situation.” Coughing, twitching, and spazing the youth rolls around on the mat, clutching his back. Trying desperately to catch his breath, Zyon claws his way back to his wobbly feet. Scheming another comeback, Zyon rubs his back while searching for the hidden Akira Kaibatsu. Conspicuously absent after such a painful move, Akira safely watches Zyon rummage around for the man perched on the top rope!!!! Terrified by his discovery, the youth twists around just as the Divine Wind leaps off the top rope, scissoring his legs around the champion’s head. Realizing that Akira’s greed for outperforming Zyon on the midcard stage has left an opening on the Divine Wind, Zyon staggers backward before snapping forward with a power bomb…FOOL! Akira’s head bounces off the mat, turning the Asian’s skin a suburban pale. Weakened from the attacks on his back, Zyon collapses against the middle rope…exiting to the outside. “YEEEEAAAAHHHH!” The crowd erupts as Zyon s…l…o…w…l…y ascends the ropes. Seemingly, clutching his back every few seconds, Zyon perches himself on the top rope placing himself in a fatal do or die situation. Noticing the Divine Wind’s lack of movement, Zyon decides to go for it! Soaring through the air, Zyon arches his back/shoulder blade region looking like a magnificent swan. Determining that he has the match won, the Unique Youth triumphantly flips crushing the CANVAS with a fantastic FINAL FLASH!!!! “OH NO!” Pete yells. Akira lies to the side of Zyon lucky to still be in the match. “That idiot Zyon just hurt his back even more because of that AWESOME fifty/fifty spotty style he does so well, HAHAHAHA!” King chuckles. Hurrying back to his feet, Akira struggles to lift the youth into a front face lock position. A moment later, the Divine Winds succeeds in the struggle, hoisting Zyon into the air, and dropping him on his face with a forward suplex. Not one to kill time, Akira immediately leaps on to the second rope before jumping off, CRUSHING Zyon with a Senton Bomb…to the back!!! “GAH…” Zyon trails off as the Divine Wind in an obvious rush, flips Zyon over, attempting a lateral press. ONE!!!! TWO!!!! THREE!!!! YENOOOOOOO!!! “NEW CHAMPION…hey wait a minute. That was three you idiot.” “Referee Nick Soapdish says it’s only two.” Beneath the mask, Akira is certainly beside himself as he rigorously stairs at the canvas. His eyes burning with the will to win, Akira looks over toward his shouting manager. “Finish Him!!!” Mr. Kobe erupts. The Divine Wind nods, forcing Zyon back to his feet, directly into a neck vice. Calming his spirit so he doesn’t overshoot the move like he once did before, Akira sprints forward, running off the turnbuckle, and… … … …Is thankfully tossed backward!!! “He countered it!” Dejected, Akira lands on his feet. With nothing left to lose, the Divine Wind charges aimlessly toward the Unique Youth. Zyon also stumbles his way toward his opponent, performing the slowest slide through the legs ever. The lack of speed distracted many of the on lookers, as few are able to point out that Zyon has Akira in a pump handle position!!! “YEEEAAAHHH…OOOOO!” The fans’ excitement falters as Akira locks his foot behind Zyon’s, taking him to the mat with a beautiful drop toe hold counter. Instantaneously, Zyon pushes himself back to his feet with no idea on what to do next. “This is awesome!” The crowd chants, truly in love with the match. Ignoring the crowd’s respectful chant, Zyon wildly turns and swings, looking to hit anything within a few feet…like his opponent for instance. The Divine Wind, briskly ducks, locking his arm around Zyon’s. The two lock arms, jousting for a backslide of all things. Fatigued, either man could easily give in, but neither complies to do so. “Look King, it’s not about spots now. This is about pride.” “And all this time I thought it was for the cruiserweight title.” Zyon’s visual expressions are a lot more noticeable since he you know doesn’t wear a mask. The youth grinds his teeth, twitching as sweat drips into his eyes. Akira looks to be winning the struggle as he takes a firm step forward. The Unique Youth refuses to give up without a fight, stomping forward in his direction. The veins in both individual’s arms look ready to bust open as neither man gains an inch of ground. Flopping his hair out of his eyes, the look of determination exits the youth’s facial features!!! “Ha, he gave up.” King remarks. Akira with all of the momentum flips Zyon over his back. Unhooking one arm, Zyon performs a back flip due to Akira’s constant pulling. Slickly, the Unique Youth hooks his arm around Akira’s head, kicking out his legs, and finally plunging the Divine Wind’s head into the mat in one destructive fluid motion!!!!!! Akira’s legs submissively wobble in one direction, while the rookie’s head spikes into the mat in another, a victim of one of the more DEADLIER DDTS THIS SIDE OF THE INSANE LUCHADORE! Falling on to the limp challenger, Zyon hopes for the best. ONE!!!! TWO!!!! THREE!!!! “HE GOT HIM!!!” “DING DING DING!!!” “The winner, and STILL SWF CRUISERWEIGHT CHAMPION, ZYYYON!” “Vitamin” plays over the PA system as the crowd erupts for a fantastic match. Mr. Kobe looks slightly disappointed, but understands his client gave it his all. “What a match. It came down to the fact that sometimes you have to give a little to take a little.” Pete is all sentimental as Zyon falls to the outside, clutching the title to his chest. Breathing heavily, Zyon can only smile knowing that for the first time in two weeks he did it the ring way. FADE TO COMMERCIAL

Edit 8/6/06- Move Set changed up quite a bit. Smarks Board Name: Zyon Real Name: Zak Owens Wrestlers Name: Zyon Nicknames: (The) "Unique Youth" Height: 5’11 Weight: 200 lbs Hometown: Elkhart, Indiana Age: 21 Face/Heel: Face- Laid back guy who will face any challenge even when he knows he's over his head. Sways toward the arrogant side of the spectrum at times to shadow some confidence issues. Stable: None Ring Escort: None Weapon(s): Pretty much anything, if legal. Quote: None as of now. Looks: (Copy Cross' template.) -Hair: Jeff Hardy like, except it's just brown. No funky rainbow colors or any of that crap. Basically just long, stringy, and wet most of the time. (May wear a hat from time to time backstage or during a promo.) -Face: Youthful with a pretty boy look to him. Mystical green oval eyes. Stays clean shaven. -Upper Attire: Skin tight short sleeved shirt (Think Under Armor) with a "Z" logo located around his right pec. Opposite colors. Black shirt = White Z, etc. -Lower Attire: Baggy (not excessively, basically how the kids where them these days.) knee lengthen shorts. Colors include blue, black, green, khaki, cream (white). -Shoes: Black athletic running shoes. Wears "ankle" socks so you never see the socks. -Body: Skinny with decent definition. Does have a six pack, but you won't see his triceps exploding or anything. Athletic in a track runner type of way as opposed to a football player. -Tattoos/Scars: Plenty of scars hidden throughout his body. Many are faded so everything is cool. And he has no tattoos even though he does believe they are cool. So expect some in the future. Ring Entrance: The arena goes black as the words “I’m Born”, “I’m Alive”, and “I Breathe” alternate on the Smarktron. “Vitamin” by Incubus kicks in as the crowd immediately goes into a frenzy. After a moment of build the young Zyon emerges through the curtain, and pauses at the top of the ramp. Zyon scans the excited audience before busting out an innocent grin as he sprints down the ramp. Zyon leaps on to the ring apron before flipping into the ring with a simple leap and twist of the wrist. Once in the ring, Zyon energetically runs up to the ropes and climbs to the second rope. He no longer throws the "X" up into the air, and will go right into his nifty taunt where he bends his elbows and devours the spotlight (the Randy Orton taunt.) (Note: Change ring entrance as you see fit if the wording doesn’t exactly fit your style and add the Funyon stuff anywhere you like.) Stats: Strength: 4- Gained a little bit of muscle, which helps the impact of his new neck/impact focused offense. Speed: 9- Uses the speed for counters and applying maneuvers as quick as possible, which hopefully lessens the countering rate of his opponents. A great high flyer, which is just as much a curse as a gift. Vitality: 5- He's not zombie immortal, but with the right amount of adrenaline he can open up a few eyes. Capable of going the distance, but his body will pay for it the next day. Charisma: 2- Has the ability to talk, and may throw out a good promo once in awhile, but he's been known to trip over his words. And his lack of over the top expression doesn't get over as well as the overdramatics. Too calm for his own good. Style: He’s still spotty as all hell, but he’s a bit wiser with his moveset. Realizing that he’s done all he can flying wise, Zyon has begun to focus on becoming the total package. And boy does he have a long way ago, but he has at least a template. Much improved in submissions and his improved strength lets him bust out more impact oriented attacks. If he focuses any body part it’s the neck and has grown an affinity for the neck breaker. However, at the end of the day he still loves to put his body on the line. Signature Moves: -Fisherman’s Neck breaker: Zyon puts the opponent in a front face lock and then traps them in a fisherman’s suplex (Perfectplex). However, from there he swivels his hips, spinning the opponent to the canvas with a neck breaker. Zyon can and will hold on to the bridge for a pin attempt. -Double Arm DDT: Double underhook, lift and drop victim on head. Pretty simple. -Shining Duo: This is a two strike combo. First, Zyon will perform a step up knee to the side of the face, otherwise known as the Shining Wizard. Due to Zyon’s lack of strength and precision in his strikes, the opponent will most likely fall to one knee. If this opportunity arises, Zyon will then run up with another step up knee that connects right between the victim’s eyes. Zyon likes to call this strike the Blind Wizard. -NOTE: Both the Shining Wizard and the Blind Wizard can be used by themselves and outside of the combo. -Cannonball Kamikaze: When perched on the top rope, Zyon will leap into the air, rolling himself up into a ball. As he descends down on to his fallen opponent, Zyon at the last second will abort the cannonball position and drive both knees into his opponent’s sternum/chest area. It does lack flash, but makes up for that due to the fact that the move is just plain mean. -Canadian Neck Breaker: Zyon will hold the opponent in a Canadian back breaker position and will then maneuver his hands around the opponent’s head while instantly dropping to the canvas with a neck breaker. -Aero Driver: Scoop slam into a piledriver, otherwise known as the Juvi Driver. Just to add a little flash to the move Zyon will perform a quick spin before spiking his opponent to the ground. This move has been known to catch some opponents off guard and could possibly give Zyon a win if he’s lucky or if the opponent is really fatigued. -Decline: Reverse Russian leg sweep, otherwise known as the Flatliner that Kanyon used, not the maneuver that Jarrett and Hasan uses. -Springboard Forearm Smash (Superman Forearm): Zyon goes out to the ring apron and springboards into the air using the top rope. Zyon pulls his right arm back keeping it at about the same level as his chest. Keep left hand forward while he kicks his feet through the air. Before he reaches his opponent, Zyon pulls his right arm forward and blasts his opponent with a charged forearm smash. Dragon Sleeper: Zyon’s second most potent submission. The most basic version is grab a seated opponent in a reverse face lock and pull back. NOTE: Zyon can perform the other variants as well which include hammerlock, standing, body scissors, and Landon’s Dragon Clutch among others. The body scissors and Dragon Clutch variations are a bit more rare and aren’t as potent as when someone like Landon or JJ Johnson does it. Sambo Suplex: Spinning Rock Bottom. Common Moves -Snap: Zyon’s front dropkick to the chest that is followed up by a kip up if he is able to perform one. Has been used more recently as a momentum changer, but can still be used offensively as well. -Flash Kick: With his opponent doubled over, Zyon will perform a standing moonsault sending one of his feet into the opponent’s face. Guile’s flash kick from street fighter only without the wave that follows. -3.0 Back Breaker: Zyon is back to back with his opponent and reaches around the victim’s throat with the near arm, like an inverted reverse face lock. Zyon will then drop to his knee, bowing the opponent’s back over his own. -Snap Brainbuster: Been moved to common moves since Zyon’s drop is more focused on the neck and the shoulder plexes as opposed to a murder, death, kill sheer head drop. Lift opponent vertically and quickly dropping them down is how he performs this maneuver. -No Regard: Has also been moved to common moves since Zyon has used the maneuver more frequently as opposed to using it as just a counter. Zyon will leap to the top rope, facing the crowd, and will leap backward with a sensational corkscrew body attack. -Lunging Yakuza Kick: Not your traditional Yakuza kick due to Zyon’s poor precision with his strikes. Zyon will charge at the opponent, leap and kick the opponent right under the chin. If anything it’s a running front dropkick with just one foot hitting the opponent. -Rolling Neck Breaker: Zyon will put his near leg over a doubled over opponent’s head, and then proceed to grab the victim’s near arm. Pushing the opponent’s arm forward as well as his own leg, Zyon will rotate the opponent to the canvas with a neck breaker. NOTE: I think Elix Skipper called this move The Play of the Day or something. -Reverse Single Chickenwing Neck Breaker: Zyon and his opponent will be back to back; Zyon reaches backward with one arm, applying a single chickenwing. Zyon will then wrap his free arm around his opponent’s head and will the drop to his BUTT, nailing the opponent with a modified hangman’s neck breaker. -NOTE: Sharkboy uses this maneuver. -Spinning Wheel Kick: Zyon will leap into the air, twist his body so that he is horizontal, and then kick the opponent in the face with his near foot. -NOTE: Just to spite JJ. -Aerial Stuff: Any and all common/regular aerial moves can go here. That includes modified and variations of most. You know, your elbow drops, leg drops, moonsaults all go here. -Snap Suplex: Quick suplex. Will sometimes chain a few together if the momentum is really going his way. -Samoan Gutbuster: Zyon will place the opponent on his shoulders in a standing fireman’s carry. From there Zyon will duck his head and push the opponent forward. As the victim falls, Zyon will drop to the canvas, throwing his knees up, which the opponent collapses on sternum first. -Blockbuster Neck Breaker: Normally the blockbuster is done from leaping off the second rope with a flipping neck breaker. And Zyon does use that variation as well, but Zyon also can leap over a standing or doubled over opponent and whip them to the canvas with a blockbuster neck breaker without assistance from the second rope. -Neck Breakers: Any neck breakers not covered in Zyon’s moveset. Hangmans, swinging, running, etc. -Reverse DDT: Uses both the sitting version and the diving variation. Rare Moves: -Final Hour: A spike cradle piledriver causing the opponent on impact to either crumble or bounce a couple inches off the ground. Used to be a finisher, but Zyon has evolved a little with his move set. When busted can easily win a match, but can also be kicked out of. -Sky Twister Press: Zyon starts off by facing the crowd. He then performs a moonsault while transitioning in the air into a 450 splash. Basically a crisp Phoenix splash performed with the users legs tugged in. -Satsui no Hadou: The RARE move that puts the opponent down. You get hit with this, and it should be over. Heavyweights are safe from this unless Zyon can some how get them on his back with help from the ropes or something. Anyway the move goes as followed. Zyon lifts his opponent into a reverse fireman’s carry position (Torture rack) and elevated his opponent with the hand that is closest to the head. He uses the other hand to spin his opponent; all while Zyon sits down driving his opponent head first into the mat. Basically a Burning Hammer except the opponent is spiked in front of the user not to the side. -Triangle Choke: Another submission hold that Zyon adores…but isn’t really good at. Uses it as a counter and to maybe catch the more arrogant wrestlers off guard. Will never willingly put it on while on the offensive. -NOTE: Zyon can transition the Triangle Choke to a NASTY arm bar by pushing the opponent’s head away and transitioning his legs. Once again he’s pretty bad at the actual transition, but it is something he can do. Finishers: -Final Flash: A beautiful yet destructive Swanton Bomb on to the opponent. Zyon starts by obviously diving off the turnbuckle and when he is completely vertical he slowly starts to tilt downward like a vulture flying down on to its prey. Zyon lands shoulder plexes first instead of just flopping on to his back. The move is done to perfection and can be done on higher objects than the top turnbuckle. Still the primary finisher. -Big Shot: RKO/Diamond Cutter/Ace Crusher. Realizing that the 911 Aero Driver took a bit to set up and didn’t play to his strengths at all, Zyon ventured for a new finisher. He decided on the Big Shot which can be hit out of numerous positions and due to Zyon’s incredible speed is difficult to counter since you really don’t see it coming until it’s too late. -Gouki Crossface: Cobra (Crippler) Crossface. Zyon's favorite submission move that was used by Ejiro Fasaki, who was World Champ at the beginning of Zyon's SWF career. After only seeing Ejiro use it one or two times, Zyon stole the move. It used to be sloppy, then the youth realized that it was simply putting your opponent's arm between his legs and pulling back on their neck. Zyon's submission finisher, but its not instant death if he traps you in it. Basically the go to move if impact and high flying dramatics isn't getting the job done.

Congrats to Akira. The match will be up, I got JJ tied up at the moment. Ugh yeah kinda disappointed, but I get a rematch and stuff like next show. So cool. Spike's match > Everything else on the card.

Since I have no idea who Silent is, it's ok. But it does sound like the coolest thing ever. Just from those quotations. Which begs the question. Could Silent no sell the Demonstar Driver or whatever it's called.

Yeah I'm with Toxx. I'd say vitality matters, but even with a high vitality I think people should still ask before they do it. I don't think I've ever kicked out of someone's finisher unless they wrote me to do so, or I asked. As for it not being practiced. I haven't noticed that at all. I'd say people only kick out of finishers if it's a feud, a title match, or the person has permission. Now granted you probably do see people kick out of others finishers, but that's only when the writer has the opponent kick out of their own finisher. Now countering or dodging is free game, but kicking out of finishers without permission or reason to do so, is stupid and kinda shows a blatant disrespect for your opponent. Yes disrespect in writing an imaginary match...brilliant, but true non the less. So I basically agree with Toxx.

AIM is CeroZero0 And that's all.

This can only lead to one thing...EMO Maddix. Good promo (Yes I read it). It brought teh funny, which the recent Maddix promo's have been bringing. I'm digging this storyline too.

Yeah I guess I should respond to some critiques from Bruce (Which are appreciated, and his comments are in italics) I have no idea who Mistress Sarah is, I know her name from the title histories and the CF matches but I personally have no idea what level she really moved at – so I don’t know if the rather short “return intro” was justified It just seemed that it should be a BIG SELLING POINT in the pre-match antics yet Spike & Zyon’s entrances and all got more coverage and details and all, that was a shame. Also cause I still don’t know why I should be excited about Mistress Sarah returning, no one told me. Yeah Spike wrote the entrances and I touched them up a bit. But I don't know jack about Mistress Sarah either so maybe that's why we couldn't make it an astounding return. Fury being TOSSED over the top rope… now I can imagine the whole segment in my head, I’ve seen it work – but the words to explain what happened just weren’t there, when I read “tossed” I get a Rumble tossed kind of sensation, not that Spike used his leverage to get Fury over the top rope and onto the apron. Like I said I can see it in my head, but I had to fill out that blank mentally not by reading it. Balancing him on the apron, Fury chokes Spike across the top with applying pressure with the head lock. That's part of my match. Notice the words balancing on the apron. I agree that it may been confusing (which I will explain later) but I did explain that they were on the apron. Oh the five year thing with Sarah. Yeah it says in her bio she retired in 2001, I went by that. Anything about Sarah is probably from bio or me trying something cause I don't know anything about the character either. So Zyon overshot the slingshot Cross body or Sarah ducked? The hurting youth clutches his stomach as Sarah reaches a full vertical base Notice full vertical base. My way of saying she stood up from a lowered position. Spike proves to be a read douche (in character – no need to start a flame war) as he tags in the still hurting Zyon who ends up in an ankle lock, that’s got to be it he can hardly walk much less take THAT! The rope break was almost too easy, build it up more – make people wonder “is he or isn’t he” IMO I thinking you mean real douche, yeah grammars a bitch for others than just me *thumbs up.* Anyway I didn't build it up cause Zyon's ankle was shredded to the point where a simple tug would shoot a lot of pain through his body causing him to easily lose his grip on the rope. I also opted to not build it up cause in some areas less is more and all that jazz. Question: Hitler had loyal jews? No. But Hitler hated jews. Hitler probably really hated disloyal jews. Weird comparison, but I like to put weird comparisons in my match sometimes. Zyon leaps up on the top rope?? Double talk about no selling! Now Fury has a reason to be frightened as the youth carefully uses Fury as a balance leaping on to the top rope. Notice Zyon used Fury as a balance taking pressure off the ankle. Also Zyon wasn't on the rope that long so there wasn't much time for pressure, and of course while using Fury's hand Zyon could have easily leaped to the top rope with his non injured ankle. Sure I didn't explain that, but your also jumping to the conclusion that he leaped to the top rope with the injured ankle. I’m sorry but that was a MESS – rushed or whatnot I don’t know but for a main event match that was pretty bad cause it was so hard to read, so flawed in the writing. Ugh yeah actually that was really fucking rushed thank you. And I'm quite pleased with it with it being rushed and all. Almost becoming a Koji when I got locked from the boards for a whole day for no apparent reason. Then letting Spike write (He wrote about 1300, but he has work and stuff...yeah damn life) and when I got it after School and conditioning I was able to start. Now by start I needed to at least plan the match which takes time. I'm also a decently slow typer (Seriously, I type with two fingers) which shouldn't matter at all, but I figured to add it. So I start writing the match around 7. Gots to be in by 10. I do about 4,200 words in three hours while eating, doing homework, using the bathroom, basically having a life. Understand I openly admit it it was a rush job, but it was successful and sometimes that's all that matters. Oh Sarah/Fury you have my apologies. Yeah I didn't read your guy's promos and such. And my lack of knowledge of the Sarah character probably didn't help. I'll take fault and all that jazz.

Part 2 --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- “HE’S GOING TO EXPOSE US ALL!!” “As what, King?” “Obviously as people who like head drops. What did you think I meant?” The crowd slowly rises to their feet looking to see one of if not the most devastating move in the SWF. Cortez’s plan goes up in flames once he notices that Ghost Machine is tossing a boot toward his face…that CONNECTS! Cortez flails backward letting Spike drop to the mat peacefully, using the Ghost Machine distraction Spike rolls away from the war zone looking to keep his hopes for winning the match alive. Clutching his face Cortez tries to strike back with a closed right hand yet the robotic menace counters with a powerful shotei palm strike. “King is it just me or is Ghost Machine looking quicker?” “It’s just you.” The Urban Legend staggers forward allowing Ghost Machine to take him down with a simple double leg before locking on a…Texas cloverleaf??? “TEN” “NINE” “King, look Ghost Machine is performing a Texas cloverleaf.” “So?” “Otherwise known as the Superior Stretch.” “Are you on crack? The Texas cloverleaf is a great submission move. That mechanical wonder probably picked it up in an upgrade or something. Pete would you please put your conspiracy theories away for the moment.” “FIVE” “FOUR” Ghost Machine continues to pull back on the submission maneuver until Wes Davenport plays the part of hero striking the machine down with a STIFFFFFF knee to the face. “TWO” “ONE!!!!!!!” “BZZZZZZZZZZTTTTTTTTT!!” “I’m Alive” plays throughout the arena causing an everlasting motion of sickness to spread as everyone’s least favorite rookie arrogantly enters the fray. “Hailing from Brunswick, Georgia…KEVIN COYOTE!!!!!” The cocky rookie is actually without the glamorous cell phone proving to one particular SWF road agent that he can take things seriously… …And then he turns and rips up a pro JJ Johnson sign. “Pete I know you have at least a thousand different critiques for this kid, but you know what? By the end of the night you will be complimenting him on a fine performance. Hell he may just win the thing.” “It’s possible, but not really all that probable King.” “BOOOOOO!” The crowd jeers the rookie who enters the ring attacking Candace Okimura with a leaping knee to the back that sends the Japanese import forward and OVER THE TOP ROPE…on to the ring apron! “OOOOOO” The crowd echoes as Candace quickly rolls back into the ring leaving Coyote to snap his fingers while muttering the word “Darn.” After knocking a few bolts loose on Ghost Machine, Wes Davenport attempts to lift the rookie into a torture rack!!! “YEEEAAAHHH!” The crowd cheers the other man from Hollywood, but soon the cheers turn into random noises once the rookie slips out from Wes’s narcissistic submission maneuver. Being the freshest athlete in the ring, Coyote dominates the fatigued Wes with a diving reverse DDT! Coyote shows a flash of improvement with his ego choosing to watch his back instead of taunting the audience. Good thing too since the opportunistic 70’s Dude attempts to lock in a Russian leg sweep. “CRACK!” One SHARRRRP elbow is all it takes to force the creepy delusional post hippie off of him. Taking liberties, Coyote locks the staggering Dude in a front face lock before risking his chance to win the match by leaping off the top rope taking the Dude down with a sensational tornado DDT!! “YEAH!” The maneuver certainly popped the crowd, as did the arrival of one SWF road agent Judge Mental. “It seems the Judge has got a front row seat to this event.” Pete points out the obvious. “TEN” “NINE” The arrogant rookie celebrates his own accomplishment by throwing his arms up and spinning around hysterically…spinning right into Spike Jenkins. “CRASH!!!!” “THE HIGHLIGHTER KING!!!!” Pete shills. “Gaw…c’mon Kevin don’t be retarded. It’s ok to be arrogant, but don’t be an idiot…I’m looking at you Spike.” “THREE” “TWO” “ONE!!!!” “BZZZZZZZZZZZZZTTTTTTTTT!!” The crowd rocks the Staples Center exploding for the rare Highlighter along with another random SWF superstar making his ‘Fuck debut. BANG!!! A loud explosion goes off as many beautiful women run out half naked to the tune of “Gonna Make You Sweat (Everybody Dance Now!)” “Everybody Dance Now!” The theme starts causing both The 70’s Dude and Ghost Machine to start dancing again!! “Hailing from Parts Unknown…THE CRIMSON SKULL!!!” “DING!!!!” And The 70’s Dude’s dancing leads to his demise as Ghost Machine uses the memory he stored earlier in the match to repay the creepy Dude by tossing him over the top rope!!! <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<< The 70’s Dude ENTERED: 8th LEFT: 7th ELIMINATED: Nobody ELIMINATED BY: Ghost Machine V.2.0 LEFT IN THE RING: Hollywood Spike Jenkins, Ghost Machine V.2.0, Wes Davenport, Urban Legend Todd Cortez, Candace “The Joshi Dragon” Okimura, Kevin Coyote, The Crimson Skull. >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> “The 70’s Dude is gone, and he doesn’t look too happy.” Ghost Machine taunts The 70’s Dude with one last dance move before turning back to the ring… “CRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAACCCCCCCKKK!” BUZZSAW KICK….YOWZA! “WHAT A SHOT!!!” Pete is Pete. “BE ORIGINAL!” King thinks Pete is someone else. The Crimson Skull plays the role of the villain well as he enters the ring menacingly yet he trips on his long crimson cape hilariously. “HAHAHAHA” The crowd just about dies laughing as Spike tries to take the opportunity to toss The Crimson Skull out. Skull explodes upward however forcing Spike back by the armpits smashing him into the turnbuckle back first. Realistically striking fear in Spike along with the Staples Center audience The Crimson Skull hoists the veteran up by his armpits and dumping him over the top rope!!!! “DINNOPE!” Spike spits in the face of fate grappling the cable that holds the turnbuckle in place, which also saves Spike from falling to his doom. The villain would look to continue his thrashing of Spike, but Wes interrupts the proceedings with a splash that has little effect on The Crimson Skull! “TEN” “NINE” “EIGHT” While Wes Davenport attempts to knock the villain down to size, Candace uses her will power to hoist Ghost Machine back to his feet. As if his battery just recharged the heinous robot tosses the cruiserweight like she was nothing with a slick railgun suplex. “THREE” “TWO” “ONE!!!!!!” “BBBBBBBBBBBBZZZZZZZZZZTTTTTTTT!” "PREPARE...FOR...LANDON!" ...WAAAAAHHHHH... *DUM DUM* “BBBBBOOOOOOO!” The crowd explodes jeering the favorite to win this years ‘Fuck… …Because of the simple fact he won last years. “Megalomaniac” hits the PA drawing the attention of everyone including Ghost Machine who looks to be the only competitor not occupied with an opponent or that fatigue thing. “Now hailing from Huron, South Dakota…One half of the SWF WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS LANDON La Cucaracha MADDIX!!!” The crowd buzzes with anticipation as Landon’s achievements play across the Smarktron. Ghost Machine looks baffled that Landon has yet to appear. “AHAHHHHAAA” The crowd suddenly erupts… “That bastard Landon just leaped the safety barricade.” King screams. Ghost Machine hears nothing as Landon enters the ring from well behind EVERYONE! Charging forward the New Generation shocks the mech warrior with a leaping shoulder that puts all 224 lbs into the back of Ghost Machine. The flawless robot staggers forward… …Continues to stagger… …Flails over the top rope… …AND TO THE FLOOORRRR!!” “DING!!” “NO WAY!!!” “The reigning ‘Fuck champion just made the dominating Ghost Machine his first victim!” The emotionless robot…freaks out? Stomping his foot and cursing everything around him Ghost Machine threatens three generations of Landon’s family before realizing that everyone in the arena is staring at him. “Is he…a robot?” Ghost Machine gulps before seemingly shutting down as he falls back into the dolly that carried him out here. Chris Belcourt returns wishing Myers would cosplay as him as he attempts to push Ghost Machine up the ramp without running into obstacles along the way. <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<< Ghost Machine ENTERED: 7th LEFT: 8th ELIMINATED: The 70’s Dude ELIMINATED BY: Landon La Cucaracha Maddix LEFT IN THE RING: Hollywood Spike Jenkins, Wes Davenport, Urban Legend Todd Cortez, Candace “The Joshi Dragon” Okimura, Kevin Coyote, The Crimson Skull, Landon La Cucaracha Maddix >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> ”Face it Pete Landon is a marked man. He’s got no Martial Law this year, just like Spike has no Revolution Zero to guard his back.” “And so far both have done well for themselves.” “Well…” King is speechless. Over by the turnbuckle Wes continues to pound away on the indestructible Crimson Skull with a mirage of rights and lefts. “SWISH!” One right hand misfires letting Skull awkwardly hoist Wes into the air driving him to the mat with a SUPER POWERFUL DEADLY EARTH SHATTERING SPINEBUSTER OF DOOOOOOOOM! Wes clutches his ribs gasping for breath as Skull begins to ascend the top rope… …Yeah he really is ascending the top rope. Untouched The Crimson Skull reaches the top rope ready to leap down on to the motionless Wes ONLY TO INSTEAD TRIP ON HIS CAPE AND FALL TO THE FLOOR!!! “HAHAHAYEEEAAH!” The Staples Center laughs hysterically at the embarrassed super villain. Officials immediately try to sustain The Crimson Skull, but they are powerless. Disrobing the unlucky cape, Skull hurries on to the ring apron and up to the top rope. Wes looks to have regained motion in his body, but it’s too late as The Crimson Skull leaps off the turnbuckle absolutely KILLING Wes with the CRIMSON SPLASH!!! “Ha, I call bloody murder on that one.” Wes is certainly shell shocked as he begins to roll around on the mat clutching his rib area, and NOW The Crimson Skull leaves. “TEN” “NINE” <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<< The Crimson Skull ENTERED: 14th LEFT: 9th ELIMINATED: Himself ELIMINATED BY: Himself LEFT IN THE RING: Hollywood Spike Jenkins, Wes Davenport, Urban Legend Todd Cortez, Candace “The Joshi Dragon” Okimura, Kevin Coyote, Landon La Cucaracha Maddix. >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Spike finally pulls himself back into the ring via rolling under the bottom rope. Reaching his feet the new straight edge sensation faces off against an Urban Legend…round two. “EIGHT” “SEVEN” Really not in the mood, Spike wildly swings toward Cortez hoping to blast the skilled competitor over the top rope. “SIX” “FIVE” Cortez easily ducks THE SHOT grappling Spike for what looks to be a double-legged takedown, but opts to hoist the number one entrant upward. “NO!” The crowd mutters as Cortez tries to toss Spike over his shoulder, but the resilient straight edge sensation holds the top rope pushing himself away from the floor. Both men joust for position with Cortez having the obvious leverage advantage yet Spike just wants to stay alive. “FOUR” “THREE” Sick of dealing with this particular game, Cortez decides to play a brand spanking new game simply titled CROTCH DROPPAH…FOOL! “OOOOO!” The audience echoes as Spike clutches his nether regions his vision blurred from the fatigue effect. Through the moisture, Spike sees a sprinting Cortez so the straight edger decides to let his natural bodily function take over… “PLOP!” Spike falls to the mat exhausted leaving Cortez to miss a lariat leaving him open for a Kevin Coyote SPEEEEAR!!!! “What impact. The kid could indeed have the best spear in the bid’ness.” “I’m sure Cortez has trouble deciding rather it was a Coyote or a rhino that gored him to the mat.” “TWO” “ONE!!!!!” “BZZZZZZZZZZZTTTTTTTT!!” “I wonder who it is?” “It better be god Pete cause if you say I wonder one more time I’m going to kill you.” “Don’t ask me no questions” puts the audience in a spell as they can’t believe the Trailerpark Messiah entered himself into the ‘Fuck after having a brutal five match series with Akira Kaibatsu that culminated less than two hours ago. “BOOOO!!” The crowd jeers the redneck who staggers down the entrance ramp either piss drunk or piss hurting. “Hailing from the Dirty Tornado Trailer Park…BRUCE BLANK!!!” Funyon booms taking another gulp of water as even he feels the effects of the ‘Fuck. “This is insane.” “I’m just as shocked as you are. I did not expect him to be in this match, but what the hell GO BRUCE GO!!!” The King of Pain slowly enters the ring like a half dead cockroach leading to cruiserweight Candace Okimura attacking him directly. The lightweight pounds on Blank hoping to keep the rough and tough brawler on the mat where he is least effective. Landon tries to take advantage of the Joshi Dragon by lifting her straight into a back drop attempt, but the female flips out landing perfectly on her feet. “CRACK!” Kicking Landon in the thigh HARD the Joshi Dragon follows up with a textbook sweep that takes the reigning ‘Fuck champion down. Candace looks to follow up her momentous offense, but the now standing Bruce Blank has other ideas. The hardcore redneck latches on to the arm of the Japanese import slinging her into the ropes with an Irish whip. Surprising everyone, Candace spring boards off the middle rope flipping backward with a moonsault… …Right into the unsure hands of Bruce Blank. With Candace over his shoulder the number one enemy to the cruiserweights adds to his resume` by tossing the female like a javelin up and over the top rope to the floor!!!! “DING!!!!” “TEN” “NINE” <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<< Candace “The Joshi Dragon” Okimura ENTERED: 12th LEFT: 10th ELIMINATED: Nobody ELIMINATED BY: Bruce Blank LEFT IN THE RING: Hollywood Spike Jenkins, Wes Davenport, Urban Legend Todd Cortez, Kevin Coyote, Landon La Cucaracha Maddix, Bruce Blank. >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> “Bruce tosses the Joshi Dragon like she was Yoshi from Super Mario Brothers fame.” “Due to his earlier disasterpiece I would say Bruce is at a disadvantage, but look at everyone. They are either tired, hurt, or in Wes’s case dead.” Wes isn’t really dead, but he has yet to move since the Crimson Splash. “FIVE” “FOUR” “CRRRACK!” Coyote strikes Blank in the head where stains of blood remain even after a half an hour in the shower trying to stay conscious for the match that makes people famous. The King of Pain staggers around allowing the rookie to strike him down with a dropkick. “ONE!!!!!!” “BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZTTTTTTTTTT!!” “Number 17 on his/her/robot/super villain/cosplay master way out.” Pete remains politically correct in SWF terms. THE KING...HAS...RETURNED! The speakers from the Staples Center call out spoiling the entrant before he even emerges from the backstage area as the aptly titled “Superstar” gets the place rocking. “BOOOOOOOOO!” The crowd jeers Landon’s tag team partner who jogs down the entrance ramp to join his tag team partner. “Hailing from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania…the other half of the SWF WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS…The Icon… MAX KING!!!” The Icon enters the ring going right for Landon…so they can talk strategy of course. After a moment of nods and muttered words the two walk toward the carcass of Wes Davenport. Landon carefully hoists Wes to his feet… “Let’s Go WES!!!” The crowd cheers. “King I guess you forgot that Landon DOES have an ally in his tag team partner.” Landon looks to have everything perfectly under control until Wes decided to go Norman Bates on his grappler by trying to choke the life out of Landon. Max immediately jabs the actor in the rib causing immense pain to shoot through Wes’s system. Wasting no time, Landon and Max grab Wes and toss him over the top rope, and to the floor with little to no fight from the proud actor. “BOOOOOO!” The crowd absolutely hates the tandem of Max and Landon, but they verbally thank Wes for his contribution to the match. “DING!!!” <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<< Wes Davenport ENTERED: 9th LEFT: 11th ELIMINATED: Matt Myers ELIMINATED BY: The Icon Max King and Landon La Cucaracha Maddix LEFT IN THE RING: Hollywood Spike Jenkins, Todd Cortez, Kevin Coyote, Landon La Cucaracha Maddix, Bruce Blank, The Icon Max King >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Kevin Coyote looks to make history by ending it as he hoists the number one entrant back to his feet. Coyote’s hands moist from his own perspiration as well as Spike’s tries a standard go behind, and succeeds. Spike though knows he can out wrestle the rookie on his worse day so he counters that with a standing switch. Coyote tries to switch it up as well, but Spike stops that until Coyote knocks Spike around with an elbow. ”CRRRRRACK!!” Spike’s skull could have actually shifted giving Coyote the opportunity to pull of another standing switch…with Spike dangerously close to the ropes. “TEN” “NINE” “He’s looking to dump Spike over the top rope with a German suplex!!” Spike blocks the first attempt, but on the second attempt Coyote hoists Spike halfway!!! “OOOOO!” The crowd echoes in anticipation as Spike secretly locks his leg behind between the middle and top rope before Coyote harshly tosses the number one entrant OVER THE TOP ROPE!!!!!! “Well it was a good showing, and OK WHAT THE HELL!!” Suicide King is about to go nuts. “YEEEEAAAH!” The crowd explodes as Spike dangles from the ropes with his right foot tangled in the middle and top rope. “AAHHH!” Spike screams knowing that his ankle could possibly be shattered. “FIVE” Coyote turns toward his mentor Judge who looks on in the front row can’t believe what he is seeing. “TURN AROUND!!!” The SWF road agent screams at his pupil. Shocked, Coyote sees the Clusterfuck sensation dangling on the top rope. Amazingly enough the arrogant rookie takes the time to jaw back at his mentor. “You stay out of this…I got this dawg!” The rookie screams as he bends over to undo Spike’s life support… “CRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAACKKKKK!!” “YEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHH!!” The crowd explodes as Spike BLASTS Coyote with the kendo stick that was left behind by one Christian Fury! Judge gets up from his seat and makes a silent exit as both Max King and Landon Maddix clothesline the dazed rookie over the ropes and to the FLOOR!!! “Gah damnit.” The Gambling Man mutters. “DING!!!!!” <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<< Kevin Coyote ENTERED: 13th LEFT: 12th ELIMINATED: Nobody ELIMINATED BY: The Icon Max King and Landon La Cucaracha Maddix LEFT IN THE RING: Hollywood Spike Jenkins, Urban Legend Todd Cortez, Landon La Cucaracha Maddix, Bruce Blank, The Icon Max King >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> The tag team champions look to carry their destructive course to one Hollywood Spike Jenkins still dangling just above the floor. Without the kendo stick Spike is in a desperate situation and the only chance he has to stay alive is a miracle. “ONE!!!!!!!” “BZZZZZZZZZZZTTTTTTT!!!” ”I’M BORN!!!” “NO!” King shouts The familiar words appears on the Smarktron as The Unique Youth sprints out to the limelight before “Vitamin” can even start playing. “Hailing from Elkhart, Indiana…the SWF CRUISERWEIGHT CHAMPION…ZYON!!” Funyon hurries his announcing duties as Zyon dives into the ring striking both Landon and Max in a desperate attempt to get the attention away from his dangling friend. “CRACK!” “CRACK!” “CRACK!!” Zyon goes off with his energetic nature getting the best of him as he turns and bounces off the ropes before lifting off toward the tag team champions. Miffed, the tag team champions step forward catching the youth in a flapjack position, but Zyon changes momentum and drops the two with a double DDT!!!! “YEEEEAAAAHHH!” The crowd explodes as the Unique Youth hurries back to his feet. “CRRRRACK!” Only to have the cruiserweight killer Bruce Blank shock him with a forearm to the back. “HEY!!” The ravaged redneck shouts toward a hurt Cortez. “Help me out here would ya.” Cortez immediately shakes his head prepared to NOT fall into Blank’s cunning ideas to kill two birds with one stone. Blank doesn’t take kindly to rejection; just ask his second wife and her hospital bills. The redneck ultraviolent king discards hurting Zyon, instead opting to pursue Cortez who’s been trying to catch a break. The Urban Legend attempts to strike Blank, but instead finds him tossed over the top rope!!!!! “Cortez lands safely on the apron.” Pete points out. Blank grinds his teeth moving in for the kill while Cortez takes a deep breath hurling himself into a spring board floating through the air with a magnificent shooting star flip looking to nail Blank with a clothesline… “CRRRRASH AND BURN!” The hardcore messiah dodges the flashy clothesline leaving Cortez to crash into the unforgiving canvas. Blank turns back toward the spot where Cortez burned out like a comet right before it reaches Earth. The arrogant hillbilly points at his head proclaiming that he’s smarter than the average dumbass. Blank turns around disappointed in himself when he realizes that both Landon and Max have him by his left and right arm respectively. The king of hardcore struggles to break free, but Zyon runs up from behind Blank and places a SNAP dropkick into his spine causing a forward motion helping Landon and Max barely hip toss Blank over the top rope and TO THE FLOOR!!! “YEEEAH!” The crowd cheer as Blank decides to leave without drama knowing he’s had one hell of a night. “DING!!!” <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<< Bruce Blank ENTERED: 16th LEFT: 13th ELIMINATED: Candace “The Joshi Dragon” Okimura ELIMINATED BY: Zyon, The Icon Max King, and Landon La Cucaracha Maddix LEFT IN THE RING: Hollywood Spike Jenkins, Todd Cortez, Landon La Cucaracha Maddix, The Icon Max King, Zyon >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> “The ring is emptying as two more competitors remain to reveal themselves in this years Clusterfuck.” Zyon remains on his feet as Landon and Max both charge the youngster overwhelming him with random strikes. Landon being an arrogant prick with BRAND NEW WRASSLIN’ ABILITY locks Zyon down in a Cravates holding the youth in place. Max takes the opportunity to bounce off the ropes arrogantly dancing along the way before shooting Zyon in the back with a knee. Landon releases the basic hold allowing Zyon to clutch his back while Max clobbers the youth with a jumping roundhouse kick to the head! “Look who’s standing tall Pete? Max King and his good for nothing partner.” Spike continues to dangle on the outside almost in position to make it back into the ring. “TEN” “NINE” “EIGHT” The number one entrant grabs the bottom rope with his hand…ONLY TO HAVE IT KICKED AWAY BY LANDON! “That’s right King. Landon himself is looking to make history by winning back to back ‘Fucks.” Hey a stat that is useful. “FOUR” “THREE” “TWO” “ONE!!!” Now with no interruptions the tag team champions look to finish Spike off. “BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZTTTTTTTT!!!!” “TEETHGRINDER!” “Oh my god…” Pete trails off. “Isn’t he hurt as in his arm may never have mobility again as in WHAT THE HELL IS HE DOING HERE!!!” “YEEEEEEEEEAAAHHHH!” The crowd for some ungodly reason cheers as “Teethgrinder” continues to play. First man through the curtain is Chris Card who points menacingly at King and Maddix. Next through the curtain is the man himself…TORU! “Hailing from Saitama Prefecture, Japan…TORU Takahara!!” The Japanese Hammer strides to the ring as Spike in a dangling position begins to pray. Now everyone knows God hates Spike, but I guess the big guy decides to throw him a bone this time as TORU ignores the flailing straight edger. His left arm heavily wrapped TORU enters the ring striding right toward the tag team champions who back off until they are trapped against the ropes… …Max and Landon stare at TORU who is all fuck the stare down as he sprints forward surprising the two with a double clothesline sending all three men over the top rope and to the floor...but only two men land. “DING!!!” “DING!!! <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<< The Icon Max King ENTERED: 17th LEFT: 14th ELIMINATED: Wes Davenport, Kevin Coyote, and Bruce Blank. ELIMINATED BY: TORU Takahara LEFT IN THE RING: Hollywood Spike Jenkins, Todd Cortez, Zyon >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> “YEEEAAHH!” The crowd cheers at the first official ruling. <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<< TORU Takahara ENTERED: 19th LEFT: 15th ELIMINATED: The Icon Max King ELIMINATED BY: Himself LEFT IN THE RING: Hollywood Spike Jenkins, Todd Cortez, Zyon >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> “BOOOOOOOOO!” The crowd jeers the final ruling as Landon somehow hanged on to the top rope on the way down. Various replays will show that Max got hit by the damn cast around TORU’s arm while Landon was simply grazed by the Japanese Hammer’s right arm. “Landon is still alive here!” “Well whipity fuckin’ do. “Don’t you think your going overboard with the word Fuck? “I fucking don’t fucking think I’m fucking going fucking overboard with the fucking word Fuck.” “Fine then. I was just wondering.” Pete couldn’t help himself. “I’d kill you, but my hitman is already on it. Have fun sleeping tonight.” Last years Clusterfuck winner rolls back into the ring as does Spike Jenkins…finally! “TEN” “NINE” The final countdown begins as the whole world is buzzing about who got the last number hoping for a triumphant return or at worse Matt Myers coming in as another character. All four remaining superstars who remain in the ring try to summon what little energy they have left as the countdown continues. “FIVE” “FOUR” “THREE” “TWO” “ONE!!!!!!!” Time for the fun to begin as “Barroom Hero” hits the PA along with cheap shamrock confetti falling from the ceiling. Somewhere in the audience is an Irish individual who just loved to drink. “OI…OI…OI…OIOIOIOIOIOIOI!!!” The crowd chants like mad as the man finally leaps over the safety barrier from the east side of the Staples Center. “Hailing from Limerick, Ireland…TIM DILLON!” “He’s the final entrant!!” King is slightly disappointed. “Must be payback for his Petey the Penguin character.” The loveable Irish kid enters the ring and goes right for Zyon the next freshest competitor in the match compared to Dillon himself that is. The man that loves to drink jabs Zyon in the face only to have the youth fire back with a forearm. Dillon takes the move in stride nailing Zyon with a knee to the gut before whipping him toward the turnbuckle. The youth relies on instincts as he leaps to the top rope before simultaneously jumping back down to the mat realizing that the top rope is a horrible place to be. “Zyon would normally counter with the No Regard, but instead opts to get his feet back on the canvas.” Pete brings the psychology. With Zyon open for attack Dillon carefully plunges his forearm into the back of his opponent locking him in a reverse front face lock. Zyon attempts to fight out from this precarious position, but the Irishman hoists the cruiserweight champion into the air. The Unique Youth kicks his feet wildly using the momentum to float over Dillon saving himself from Blood and Whiskey elevated reverse DDT! The action quickens as Zyon lands on his feet shooting for the ropes giving Dillon his back again. This time Dillon’s overanxious behavior troubles him as Zyon launches himself off the middle rope with his Half Moon quebrada. The audience amazed with Zyon’s strategy watches as the youth lands behind Dillon rather than on him… “Wicked Cutter!!” Pete prematurely spits. Dillon squirms to get free, but it’s too late as the youth spins around looking to drop the final entrant with a stunner. Dillon though refuses to fall victim to the move that beat JJ Johnson for the cruiserweight title (along with interference from the world champion) shoving Zyon off into a random competitor in the match…Todd Cortez. The Urban Legend hoists Zyon into the air snapping him down with the main event Sitout Spinebuster that Cortez is so accustomed to using. Zyon’s head bounces off the mat as Cortez makes it back to his feet. “CRACK!” And eats a forearm for his trouble. Dillon notices that Cortez is reeling quite a lot for one simple forearm so he rolls what is given to him. The Irishman grapples Cortez taking him over with a simple yet effective arm drag…and he of course beats Cortez to his feet. Not only does he beat Cortez, but he beats him by a mile. The tenth entrant to the ‘Fuck slowly gathers himself to his feet only to eat an elbow for breakfast. For lunch and dinner the Urban Legend catches two snapping jabs. “God I hate this move almost as much as anything done by Landon.” Cortez staggers trying to shake off the fatigue along with the strikes he just took. Dillon “pops” the energized audience by tumbling forward in a drunken stupor before dropping Cortez with the Drunken Drag clothesline!!! “YEEEEAAHHH!” The crowd erupts as the happy go lucky Irishman pumps his fist gardening the response he was looking for. Hoping to put the cheering in full bloom, Dillon forces Cortez back to his feet twisting the weakened Urban Legend into a reverse face lock position. The crowd looks on noticing on the corner of their eye Spike Jenkins on his feet!!! “YEAAAHHH!” The crowd explodes leading to Dillon to believe that they are cheering for him. “CRRRRRRRRRRACK!!” Instead the Irishman finds out the hard way as Spike hurls a Yakuza kick at Dillon connecting with his face. Dillon tough as a nailgun staggers backward somehow remaining on his feet, which is just fine for the arrogant straight edger. Spike ready to add Dillon to his personal list of eliminations charges the Irishman who ducks a clothesline launching the number one entrant over the top rope with a back body drop!!!!!!!!! “You know what Pete, it doesn’t surprise me at all.” Due to Suicide King’s tone of voice one can tell that Spike landed on the apron. The man who hails from Hollywood reads his opponent just as Dillon wildly swings a backhand toward Spike who dodges the oncoming strike. Weak and out of ideas Spike simply shoves Dillon who turns into a now standing Cortez who lifts the final entrant into a flapjack…only to have Landon appear out of nowhere; wrapping his arm around the head of Dillon… OH MY GOD…COURT MARTIAL!!!! “OMGYEEEEEAAAAHHHHHHHHWHOOOO!” The crowd explodes as Dillon is knocked completely out. Spike safely renters the ring as Landon beats Cortez to the prone body of Dillon easily dumping the twentieth entrant. “DING!!!!!!!!!” <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<< Tim Dillon ENTERED: 20th LEFT: 16th ELIMINATED: Nobody ELIMINATED BY: Landon Maddix LEFT IN THE RING: Hollywood Spike Jenkins (!), Urban Legend Todd Cortez, Landon La Cucaracha Maddix, Zyon >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> “What a final four do we have here!!!” Pete shills “Look at how the ‘Fuck turned out. Every single person in the ring right now I despise with a passion. I hope these last eliminations are entertaining at least. Maybe Landon will land on his neck or something.” “Or he could make history and win the whole fucking thing again.” Pete is obviously excited. Zyon and Spike pause to let the Urban Legend and the Next Generation have a face to face confrontation. “YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!” The crowd reaction is boiling over as the ex tag team talk smack to one another forgetting whatever fatigue they were feeling. Formerly Marshal Law, Landon and Todd are certainly ready to wage war making this single greatest moment in this year’s ‘Fuck so far. “URBAN LEGEND CLAP CLAP CLAP!!!” The crowd has joined the side of their choosing as the former Marshal Law members prepare to explode in front of everyone one more time… …But what about Zyon. What is his motive? Both Landon and Spike look to make history and Todd would be getting his second shot at Magnifico. The youth for the first time in a long time finds himself being overlooked for not being the most exciting competitor in the match. Somewhere between Zyon’s lethargic thought process rings Spike’s voice… “On three…” Spike need not finish the sentence since friendship alone is enough to put a period on the comment. Landon shoves Cortez… “OOOOO!” Cortez doesn’t take kindly to that as he shoves back. “OOOOOOO!” The crowd echoes again as Spike whispers… “One…” Landon with a look of “No you just didn’t” fires back with a disrespecting slap to his former friend’s face. “SMACKKKK!!” “OOOOOHHHHH!” The crowd barks. “Two…” Spike whispers again hoping that this time his friend will come through for him. Zyon’s conscience on the other hand continues to torture him as he hears his friend’s voice once again…from the past this time. “In this company, it is kill or be killed! I’ve been trying to teach you that since day one! You have to do WHATEVER it takes to win! If that means taking advantage of a situation, then so be it!” Cortez looks to physically retort, but Spike shocks the former tag team by shouting a simple number. “THREE…NOW!” The new straight edge sensation shouts as Zyon plants his foot sprinting diagonally toward…Spike? “CRACK????” The youth strikes his bug eyed friend down with a clothesline sending the number one entrant over the top rope… …Spike grips the top rope with two fingers… …Before slipping falling to the floor!!!!!!!!! “I can’t believe it.” “Shit Pete neither can I.” “DING!!!!!” Cortez and Landon remained shocked as Zyon looks down on his fallen friend who has still not yet processed the fact that his SWF immortality was denied. <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<< Hollywood Spike Jenkins ENTERED: 1st LEFT: 17th ELIMINATED: Laberinto, The Rage Jason Von Dierch, Manson, Christian Fury, and Stryke. ELIMINATED BY: Zyon LEFT IN THE RING: Todd Cortez, Landon La Cucaracha Maddix, Zyon >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Misty-eyed Spike looks up at the Smarktron, as it’s made official to the Staples Center along with Jenkins who continues to be in disbelief. So much so that he actually tries to reenter the ring, but is held back…and then he SNAPS! “Wha…how could…why? YOU! YOU! YOU BASTARD! HOW COULD YOU! I was so close…I WAS SO CLOSE! YOU!!” Spike hysterically cries out as he is forced to the back by multiple officials and road agents leaving the final three men in the ring. Zyon looks out into the audience shell shocked at what he just did… “Let’s Go Zyon!!!” The crowd cheers as it becomes painfully obvious to Zyon that he is just a pawn. It becomes oh so painfully obvious to the youth that his friend with grand aspirations to make history was also pawn. Landon…a pawn. Cortez…a pawn. Senior official Nick Soapdish slides into the ring symbolizing the beginning of the end in this years Clusterfuck…the sudden death triple threat match. The match will feature a former World Champion, a veteran prepared to make the final step, and a rookie starting to finally understand the wicked wrestling business. …All pawns. DING DING DING! The bell sounds snapping Zyon out from his zoned out expression as Cortez and Landon begin to brawl!! “YEAHHHHH!” The exhausted crowd cheers as Landon with his newfound abilities lay into the tenth entrant forcing him backward into the turnbuckle. The New Generation attempts to fire into his former friend some more, but Zyon sneaks up behind Landon pulling him into a reverse waist lock. Usually Landon would be a sitting duck, but thanks to the tutelage of Jay Hawke and JJ Johnson La Cucaracha quickly performs a standing switch. Thanks to multiple head drops and losing close matches, Zyon strikes Landon away with multiple elbows that bust Landon open hard way!!! “Nothing better than seeing Landon with a busted lip let me tell you.” Free on Landon’s grip Zyon leaps forward kicking off the chest of Cortez performing a radical back flip just as Landon steps forward for vengeance. The audience watches in awe as Zyon brings the house down with a tremendous upside down bicycle kick that lands flush to Landon’s face. Zyon lands crouchingly on his feet staggering into a standing head scissor applied by the Urban Legend. “We could be seeing the Riot Act Plus!!!” Pete shills. Cortez can see his name on next month’s main event bill as he attempts his finishing maneuver, but Zyon grabs the middle rope stopping the move from coming into fruitation. Aggravated Cortez pounds on Zyon’s back forcing the youth to release his grip allowing the Urban Legend to choose a different route to the possible victory. The veteran hoists Zyon over his shoulder immediately dropping down unknowing causing Zyon’s leg to clip the top rope KILLING the Unique Youth with a BOTCHED Neckwrecker!!! “OHHHHHH!” The crowd echoes as Zyon’s body folds from the impact. Uncontrollable shakes corrupt the youth’s nervous system, as Cortez looks ready to cover Zyon. Landon though has a much different idea as one simple stomp changes the ‘Fuck’s entire complexion. The Urban Legend’s attention has been officially diverted as he makes it back to his feet facing his former tag team partner. Landon could care less about meaningless ex friendships as he stops Cortez dead with a thumb to the eye. “BOOOOOOOOOOO!!!” “Different style…same Maddix.” Pete mutters. Blinded Cortez tries to shake away the moisture filling his right eye as Landon delivers to SHARP kicks to the sternum of Cortez. Doubled over Cortez expects the enziguri that follows, but Landon switches it up driving Cortez into the mat head first with a DDT!!!! Landon attempts to win the match… ONE!!! TWO!!! THR…shoulder up. “Cortez stays alive!!” “I’ve never been such a Todd Cortez fan, but right now anything is better than Landon fricken Maddix two years in a row.” Landon hurries to his feet just as Zyon pulls himself back to his. With Cortez out of commission, Landon the veteran of this situation charges Zyon who also sprints forward latching on to the arm of La Cucaracha whipping him into the ropes at an insane speed. Barely able to stay on his feet, the New Generation strides toward Zyon who attempts a standard hip toss…and connects! With adrenaline flowing through his veins, Zyon sprints toward the ropes leaping off of them backward with the actual Half Moon quebrada landing gut first on the KNEEEEEES of Landon!!!!!! “OOOOOOHHHH!” The crowd echoes as Zyon rolls toward a random turnbuckle looking for shelter clutching his stomach. Rising back to his feet and gasping for breath Zyon hurls himself to the top rope with his back facing a forwarding Landon before diving off with a corkscrew body attack that does not bold well for one individual. “NO REGARD!” “HA it misses. You got worked up over nothing.” Zyon continues to commit career suicide crashing to the mat due to Landon’s awesome evasion techniques…he stepped to the side. Landon bends over grabbing Zyon by his sweat soaked hair, but drops the youth opting to charge a now standing Todd Cortez!! Jay and JJ would most definitely stretch Landon for these type of risky actions, but he did it himself last year… …And this year he takes a boot to the gut. Cortez takes a deep breath as he locks Landon down with a standing head scissor. Cortez looks prominent for the number one contender role, but Zyon makes it back to his feet. The Urban Legend waits as Zyon leaps toward the veteran with a Shining Wizard looking to make the Landon perfected move the key move two years running. Cortez shows off his superb training by ducking his head tossing Zyon’s body over the ropes!!!!! Landon uses this distraction of all distractions to pull out taking Cortez down with an arm bar before transitioning to the DRAGON CLUTCH OH MY GAWD!!!!!! “Please don’t tap!!” The chant is a bit different this year, but Landon just like last year tenaciously tears at the neck of his victim. “Damnit…it’s just a matter of time now.” Suicide King has lost all hope, as the Landon two peet seems inventible. “CRRRRRRAAAAAAACKKKKKK!!!” “WHA?” Both announcers are shocked. Shocked to see Zyon spring board into the ring with a…you guessed it Shining Wizard that lands flush to the face of Landon. The move that gave Landon the victory last year may have just sealed his fate as Cortez rolls away from the action damn near unconscious from the unbearable submission. The impact from the move gives Zyon a slight limp as he hops toward the turnbuckle…ascending it. Landon can only look up at the bright lights as the youth performs a leap of fate…falling to the ground with the destructive FINAL FLASH… “Please god…” …THAT CONNECTS!!! “….” The arena goes silent as Zyon falls backward on the reigning Clusterfuck champion… ONE!!! Cortez hears the first count. TWO!!!! Landon is motionless as Cortez crawls toward the pinfall… THREE!!!…break up!…TOO LATE!!!!!!!!! “HE GOT HIM!!! BY GOD ZYON JUST WON CLUSTERFUCK 2006!!!!!” Just like last year Suicide King remains silent as “Vitamin” hits the PA for the second time tonight. <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<< Landon La Cucaracha Maddix ENTERED: 15th LEFT: 18th ELIMINATED: Ghost Machine V.2.0, Wes Davenport, Kevin Coyote, Bruce Blank ELIMINATED BY: Zyon LEFT IN THE RING: N/A >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> The crowd is in a massive uproar as Zyon squanders to his feet when it is made painfully official to nineteen other competitors. “LADIES AND GENTLEMEN…THE WINNER OF THE 2006 CLUSTERFUCK…THE UNIQUE YOUTH…ZZZZZZYYYYOOOONNNNNN!!!!!” Funyon booms damn near losing his voice. <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<< The Urban Legend Todd Cortez ENTERED: 10th LEFT: N/A ELIMINATED: Christian Fury and Stryke ELIMINATED BY: N/A LEFT IN THE RING: N/A >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Todd Cortez fatigues and beaten makes a silent exit leaving the rookie to have his time in the sun. “Urban Legend CLAP CLA CLAP!!!” The crowd really does appreciate Cortez. Landon also exits the ring, and receives applause as well as all the attention, cheering, and applauding turns toward the last remaining man in the ring. “Could we be seeing Zyon vs. Mags or could we see another classic with JJ Johnson. Stay tuned to fine out…god listen to this reaction.” “Figures…” King can only mutter. The crowd is absolutely ballistic, as the once faltering youth seems to have his train back on track. After all… ...HE'S GOIN' TO FROM THE FIRE, BABY!! (credit Landon who credited Grappler)

Here it is. It's without bold, italics, underline, and all corrections I made in the final copy so some of the emotion may be gone, or maybe not. Basically it's in its rawest form. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- “Ladies and Gentlemen it is once again time for the most exciting match in professional wrestling. It is time for Clusterfuck 2006!!! “Take that Family Friendly Lockdown. Tonight we will witness the complete opposite of that failure with Grand Entertaining Clusterfuck, BA-BY!!!! “For those who are unfamiliar with the rules…” Pete is interrupted for the first of many times this match. “Or for those flat out retarded…yes I’m looking at you Spike.” “Anyway. The rules are as followed. Two wrestlers start, and from there every two minutes a random SWF superstar will enter to battle it out. During this time eliminations can only occur via throwing your opponent over the top rope with both feet touching the floor. However, when there are three competitors remaining the Clusterfuck becomes a glorified triple threat match with the first pinfall declaring the winner.” Pete explains the basic rules. “Now unlike other companies who run this match and totally fuck it up we the SWF have come up with ways to insure some organization. First when a wrestler is set to enter the arena a buzzer will go off like so.” “BBBBBZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZTT!!!” “Ok I am now deaf out of one ear. Once a competitor has been eliminated there will be a single DING unless more than one competitor has been eliminated. Don’t worry we have dozens of camera angles and officials covering this match nothing will go wrong…I hope. The DING sounds like so…” “DING!!!” “And of course there will be a ten second countdown on the Smarktron. Now a SWF invention to the match that was created a few years back was the eliminator information super highway. Basically once somebody gets eliminated there will be a bunch of pointless info for the jokers out there that actually bet on these things. It goes like so…” >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Brenda King ENTERED: 8th Left: 1 year after engaged ELIMINATED: Kate King ELIMINATED BY: Suicide King LEFT IN RING: House and two kids <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<< “King that was quite tasteless of you.” Pete does not approve of King making his multiple divorces public. “What I’m just letting the lovely ladies know I’m available.” “Lovely ladies are not our concern. These men are our concern…” “WOAH!!!! Pete fuck that noise. I mean I know some of us bat left handed, but I’m a strong right. Hey you live your life and I’ll live mine alright.” “That’s not what I meant King and you know it. Gay bashing aside tonight is a night where a gas will transform into a star being ranked in the sky of bright lights like Pimp Daddy Sharp, “Grand Slam” Mark Stevens, Taylor Nicholas Thompson, Charlie Matthews, and Landon Maddix.” Pete can be pretty deep sometimes…make your own jokes. “Who in the SHOWTIME HELL would want to be ranked with Landon Maddix?” And King…well he deeply hates Landon. The main SWF camera switches shots from the bickering, but talented announce team to the large Californians in the Staples Center. Many sport Kobe Bryant jerseys along with casual wear. No matter what they are wearing though there is one thing for certain, and that would be they are totally pumped up from the energy that Clusterfuck creates. And what did the semi talented audience create? “WINNING FROM ENTRANT ONE > KOBE’S 81!!!!” “WILL FUCK MAKE IT ON SCREEN!!!” And of course… “I WISH MYERS WOULD COSPLAY AS ME!!!” No you don’t. Finally with one turn of the foot the highly paid cameraman focuses on the ring, and the buff man inside said squared circle. “Ladies and Gentlemen, CLUSTERFUCK 2006 WILL NOW COMMENCE AS SCHEDULED!!!! “YEAHHHH!” The crowd erupts before a moment of silence hushes a crowd preparing their reaction for the determined first entrant who tonight is prepared to will his way to history…even though creative control would rather have a different outcome. “Would he hurry up already?” King asks and he shall receive. The Staples Center goes into full power, almost an overload as the blinding lights cause a white out drawing envy from snow and fog. The familiar scratching of a needle irritates a few fans while pumping the rest of the clan up. “BAM!!!!” The crashing guitars kick into full gear as “Black Label” disrupts any and all family time a father and son may be having. The drumming picks up at a blistering pace before the blood curling scream of the vocalist scares the more religious viewers. “AHHHHHHHHHH!” In a strange turn of events, Spike immediately emerges from the darkness without his usual black hoodie. The fans for the first time ever see a raw Jenkins determined to celebrate his career with a history making performance. “Spike is without his usual attire tonight?” “Well I guess the fool is smarter than I thought. I’m sure he realized that the hoodie could raise his body temperature causing an abundance of warmth. Notice how his hair is drenched, he could have very well got out of the shower readying himself for what is to come.” King brings the psychology. Spike dodges his first taunt choosing to simply walk to the ring taking his sweet time. “Introducing as ENTRANT NUMBER ONE, hailing from HOLLYWOOD, CALIFORNIA!!” “YYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!” The crowd explodes as Funyon finishes his first duty of the match. “HE IS HOLLYWOOD SPIKE JENKINS!!!” The crowd is certainly appreciative, but Spike could care less…he is in the zone. The NEW and ONLY straight edge sensation immediately enters the ring and drops to one knee… …Not making a move. “Bring it!” Spike whispers before leaping to his feet and throwing up the “X” symbol disrupting the balance of power and sending the audience into a frenzy! “Let’s Go Spike!” The crowd erupts as “Black Label” fades into the background, and now is when the Clusterfuck truly begins. The momentous “Spike” chant quickly fades leaving the crowd to mutter to one another wondering who number two will be… …Mystery solved. “Ole`” by Bouncing Souls plays over the PA system as one of SWF’s newest arrivals makes his way down the entrance ramp. The respectful luchadore rushes to the ring smacking a few hands barely giving Funyon enough time to announce his name. “Hailing from Tocula, Mexico. LABERINTO!” Funyon booms as the crowd gives the rookie quite the applause for someone being relatively unknown. “King this is one of the guys that this match is made for. He is relatively unknown and a good showing tonight could sky rocket his career.” “Good showing…so you don’t think he has a chance either?” “I didn’t say that.” Laberinto enters the ring and stares at the straight edger across from him as Funyon makes a quiet exit. The Staples Center begins to rock as the excited crowd starts to stop their feet and yell in an unrecognizable tone. It’s Clusterfuck. DING! DING! DING! “And we’re off.” Spike slowly circles the ring not wanting to take any chances, but the energetic luchadore takes a step forward followed by another step until Spike is forced to realize the luchadore is charging at him at full speed. Back peddling, Jenkins traps himself in a corner between a luchadore and a turnbuckle. Unprepared for the incoming assault Jenkins hopes to fluke out a counter as he drops wrapping his legs around the sprinting luchadore’s ankle snapping him into the middle turnbuckle face first! The veteran immediately rolls away from the luchadore who rises back to his feet adjusting his golden mask. “Pete, I don’t think I’ve ever seen a Clusterfuck competitor as scared as Spike.” The man hailing from California lowers himself in a shoot wrestling position much better prepared for whatever the agile luchadore throws his way. Taking the straight edger’s challenge Laberinto once again charges forward… …Sprinting right past a wide eyed Spike who instinctively turns around. “CRACK!!” Only to receive a corkscrew dropkick after the luchadore launched himself off the second rope!! Admittedly the impressive maneuver only gazes the number one entrant-sending Spike staggering back toward the ropes…a baaaaaaaad place to be. The luchadore strides forward blasting the cocky superstar with a multitude of crushing forearms. Spike continues to stagger backward uncharacteristically defenseless as Laberinto continues to bring the firepower. “CRACK!” “CRACK!” “CATCH???” Uh oh. Spike proving mama did not raise no fool latches on to the arm of Laberinto before thrusting him over the ropes!!!! “YEEEAAAHHH!” The crowd explodes as Spike shuffles forward ready to take a breather, but then he hears the first count down of the night. “TEN!!” “NINE!!” “EIGHT!!” The curious Jenkins turns to face his next obstacle only to realize through error that he has yet to pass the first one!!! “CRACK!” Laberinto emerges from the ring apron with a springboard clothesline that drops Spike like a bad habit. “SEVEN” “SIX” “FIVE” Laberinto continues to take advantage of his second chance and Spike’s arrogance by stomping the straight edger into the mat impersonating Edward Norton’s character in American History X. “FOUR!” “THREE” “TWO” “ONE!” “BBBZZZZZZZTTTT!!!” “Let’s see who is behind door number three.” The crowd rises to their feet to get a good look at the third entrant of the ‘Fuck. The crowd is slightly surprised to hear the music of Rammstein’s “Wollt Ihr Das Bett In Flammen Sehen? ” “For those that don’t know The Rage Jason Von Dierch has been on the shelf for quite some time.” “When did we call getting suspended being put on the shelf? KOJI and Scott Preztler are people on the shelf. The Rage…well he had some issues.” King unlike Pete does not believe in kayfabe. The Rage pumped for his comeback hustles down to the ring bringing the crowd to half heartily boo the returnee. “Hailing from Hamburg, Germany…THE RAGE JASON VON DIERCH!!!” As if on cue, The Rage hurries into the ring immediately attempting an illegal choke on the preoccupied Laberinto. Jason can only get one arm around the head of the speedy luchadore before realizing that the Mexican is firmly behind him, which by the way is not a show of support… …Or a gay joke…perverts. Laberinto grips the side of Jason’s head with both hands respectively before dropping the returnee with an Uno Momento! “Bottom just dropped out on The Rage!” However, the luchadore doesn’t take into consideration how fresh The Rage is; whom fires back with a kick to Laberinto’s face. The luchadore rolls backward from the impact rising back to his feet. The Rage also wonders back to his feet only to almost receive a forearm for his trouble. Jason though is able to avert the attack countering it into an arm bar attempt THAT Laberinto COUNTERS rolling through before kipping up like most luchadore’s do when grappled by a grappler. The proud Mexican wrestler transitions the counter into a standing arm bar of his OWN! However, the returning Rage will not be showed up by some flippy floppy luchadore as he mimics Laberinto’s previous movements. The standard roll through followed by the kip up doesn’t shock the audience, but Laberinto’s awareness does as he looks to sweep The Rage off of his feet… …But the German competitor hops into the air. With Laberinto’s grip completely ravaged The Rage swings wildly with a clothesline that the proud luchadore easily dodges. During all this action Spike has made it back to his feet ready to launch toward Laberinto…from behind. The Rage with his back turned to Laberinto looks to catch the luchadore off guard with a CRUMBLING WALL SIDEKICK but the luchadore ducks out of the way… “CRRRACK!!!” …Spike on the other hand does not. “OOOOOOOHHHH!” The crowd echoes as Spike falls to the mat possibly unconscious. “Jesus, King did you see that kick?” “See it…I heard that shot from all the way over here.” In the ‘Fuck people must understand that you can’t dwell on the past. “TEN” Especially when someone is ready to make their presence felt. “NINE” With Jason defenseless the luchadore locks the stronger Von Dierch in a reverse waist lock hoping to be the victor of the power struggle. Determination running through his hot blood, Laberinto attempts to hoist Jason into the air, but the German fighter locks his foot behind his opponent’s. “SIX” “FIVE” “FOUR” “THREE” As the countdown comes to an end Jason performs a standing switch placing Laberinto in the strugglers seat. “ONE!” “BBBBBZZZZZTTTTT!!” The cheering fateful in the audience scream when “How I Could Just Kill A Man” kills the PA! “YEEEEAAAAHHH!” “Hailing from Sydney, Australia…STRYKE!!!!” “Wow now this is an established SWF star.” ”Established? His last run with the company was the drizzling shits including multiple ‘Fuck showings where he lost. But hey even Stryke has a chance to boost his career I guess.” The former reckless superstar regresses back to that person for a moment as he sprints to the ring sliding in. Once in the ring, Stryke returns to the calculating fan favorite who silently waits his turn to get a shot. Laberinto continues to struggle in the reverse waist lock until Jason hoists the luchadore into the air looking for a German suplex, but instead finds himself in a headlock that is used to hide a dangerous choke. Skilled in the art of fighting, Jason finds himself weakening as his vision begins to blue. Laberinto’s luck continues to fluctuate as the hotheaded German staggers forward toward the ropes with Laberinto in a backdrop position. “Let’s see the resilient luchadore get out of this mess. He literally has no place to go.” Inching closer to the ropes Laberinto extends his legs until his foot touches the top rope. And with a simple bending of the knees the resourceful luchadore kicks off the top rope causing both competitors’s to spin. “Well King I hope that answers your question.” With one last burst of strength the conscious Von Dierch tosses Laberinto in a random direction toward the patient Stryke. Showing off his improv skills the luchadore wraps his legs around the head of the fresh Stryke in a hurricarana attempt that goes horribly awkward… …And by awkward I mean POWER BOMB…FOOL! “OOOOOOOO!” The crowd echoes as the back of Laberinto’s head smacks the canvas in the same way a car crashes into a brick wall. Stryke’s certainly proud of himself strides forward shaking his head side to side asking a fatigued Jason Von Dierch to bring it on! Well they don’t call him THE RAGE for nothing as the angry German sprints forward looking to tear Stryke’s head off, but instead eats a hurricarana for his troubles. With all competitors down Stryke can’t help, but celebrate with a quick raising of his arms. “YEEEAAAHHH!” “The people mean nothing Stryke…gosh.” Stryke looks to dominate the ‘Fuck even though he “lucked” into a low number as he hoists Laberinto back to his feet. Feeling the momentum go his way Stryke grabs Laberinto by the mask before having Laberinto come alive on him with a quick jab to the gut. Stryke panics as the luchadore latches on to his opponents blue wrestling tights tossing him toward the top rope!!! “OOOOOHHHH!” The crowd echoes as Stryke halts the momentum by going chest first into the top rope. “See King that’s why I love the ‘Fuck! The momentum can change at any time during the match.” Good reason Pete. Stryke staggers backward leaving his back open for Laberinto who jabs the freshest guy in the match in the kidneys leading to a reverse DDT!! Stryke’s head bounces off the mat in painful fashion as the number two entrant has done quite well for himself. “King could Laberinto win the ‘Fuck from entrant number two?” “What kind of stupid question is that? “King, I was just wondering.” “Well don’t. Everytime you wonder about something I feel twice as dumb answering one of your queries.” King berates Pete. Fatigued, Laberinto hopes to have a moment of relaxation but Jason Von Dierch climbs back to his feet facing the ready luchadore as the clock begins ticking once again. “TEN” “NINE” “EIGHT” “I wonder…” “HEY DAMNIT!” “Sorry.” “You’re forgiven.” In the ring both the luchadore and the harsh German this side of Hitler stop dead in their tracks and come to terms with a non verbal agreement based on each man’s position in the ‘Fuck as a whole. In other words the next guy that comes through that curtain will be facing two men not one. “FOUR” “THREE” “TWO” “ONE!!!!” “BZZZZZZZZZZTTTTTTTT!” And with a thunderous boom “Crusher Destroyer” plays over the PA. “Hailing from Denver, Colorado… M-A-N-S-O-N!!!! “This is bad for the competitors. Manson loves these type of environments where he can annihilate as many people as possible.” “True. He probably doesn’t even care if he wins…and I love it.” The imposing figure of Manson walks down the entrance ramp as both Jason Von Dierch, Laberinto, and Spike prepare for a full assault on the Raging Bull… …Wait Spike? “Look King!” Pete shills as Spike staggers forward grabbing Laberinto by his golden sweat soaked mask lunging the luchadore forward and over the top rope to the floor!!!! “DING!!!!” “See Pete not only did Laberinto not win, but he was first eliminated. You know Pete I’m beginning to think I should be the only one to wonder around here.” <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<< Laberinto ENTERED: 2nd LEFT: 1st ELIMINATED: Nobody ELIMINATED BY: Hollywood Spike Jenkins LEFT IN RING: Hollywood Spike Jenkins, The Rage Jason Von Dierch, Stryke, and Manson. >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> After almost having his jaw completely unlatched the woozy straight edger drops to the mat on all fours. Knowing that one half of his defense is gone; Jason decides to use his other half aka himself to defend the fort. The fighter’s anger gets the best of him as he turns toward Spike not even noticing the sinister presence behind him… “CRACK!!!” Manson The Stampede pulls back as he darts his elbow toward the back of The Rage’s head knocking him forward like he was just hit by a train. Amazingly the German civilian remains on his feet as he turns to face the man who imposes his will on his opponents. Staring into the wild eyes of his opponent The Rage has no choice but to attempt a knockout blow as he tries to destroy Manson with his CRUMBLING WALL shuffle sidekick!!!! “SWISH!” Not known for his quickness, the Raging Bull dodges the deadly kick simultaneously locking his opponent down with a one handed choke. Jason’s eyes bulge as Manson hoists him into the air before driving the air out of his opponent with a ring shaking choke slam!!! Quite pleased with his dominance Manson swings around to look for more victims only to have one snatch on to his back with a sleeper hold! “Manson thought he had everything under control, but in the ‘Fuck you are never in control.” “That’s not what your mom said last night Pete…oh shit Pete you must be flaming from that BURN!” King proves his maturity level is that of a freshmen in high school. “Can we call the match PLEASE!” Back in the ring Stryke tugs away on the modified sleeper. And by modified that means that Stryke does his best to choke out the Raging Bull while he still can. Unsure of how Stryke got on his weak side, Manson formulates a simple plan on how to get him off. The strongest foe in the match bends over forcing Stryke to wrap his legs around the waist of his opponent trapping him even more right? Wrong! Falling into the devil’s trap Stryke notices that the flesh and blood vehicle that he is riding on is backing up at an incredible rate… “CRACK!!” …Until coming to a halt once Stryke’s back is crushed into the unforgiving top turnbuckle. Persistent as a bastard fire ant Stryke holds Manson in the very clutches that start to slip away as the Raging Bull leaps backward one last time! “CRACK!!” “SMASH!!” Stryke’s back smashes against the turnbuckle as seemingly on impact Spike Jenkins reemerges from the mat with a stinger splash on Manson…squishing Stryke in the process. Weak and nimble the man called Stryke slithers to the mat as Manson staggers out of the turnbuckle. Essentially gaining more momentum, Spike plants his back foot before taking off toward a dazed Manson looking to throw one of those murdering lariats, but the Raging Bull may have other ideas. “CR…GAG!” Just as the former egomaniac can swing his arm forward Manson latches on to the throat of his opponent just like he did Jason Von Dierch. As resourceful as Spike is the number one entrant knows that taking a choke slam will not be beneficial to his destiny of making history. Manson on the other hand could care less about history as he hoists the Californian into the air before having his eye raked by said victim. Spike can’t help but smile as he can feel the blinded Manson’s grip loosen. However, Manson doesn’t have to see Spike die. “CRRRRAASSSH!” “OOOOOOO!” The crowd echoes as Manson powerfully throws Spike to the ground with a wicked choke slam. “Pete you know I loved every moment of that.” “I doubt you loved it as much as Manson did, gosh that guy’s a monster.” “TEN” “NINE” “EIGHT” “YEAAAHHHH!” The crowd explodes as the countdown continues to decrease. Manson notices on the corner of his eye that Jason Von Dierch is back on his feet ready to bring the fight to the master of MANSONOSITY! Stryke on the other hand could care less about fighting, but with an opening so damn wide he must take it. Basically tripping over himself Stryke leaps downward toward Manson’s kneecap before buckling it with a chop block. With a hint of teamwork Stryke order Jason to do something. Without a moment of hesitation Jason sprints forward swinging his arm toward Manson smashing the Raging Bull with a powerful lariat. Manson falls to the mat proving that he indeed in feeling the effects of fatigue, but continues to shock the crowd as he rises to his feet. “SEVEN” “SIX!!” Unhindered by Manson’s high tolerance for pain Jason sprints forward again and drops the beast with a more powerful clothesline! Manson gasps for air as the impact of the clothesline knocked the oxygen from his lungs, but the Raging Bull climbs right back to his feet! “YEAAAHH!” And the crowd eats it up. “FIVE” “FOUR” “THREE” “Manson is looking indestructible out there.” “Pete why do you sound surprised?” “Why do you ask?” “I don’t know I’m just WONDERING that’s all.” Slightly miffed The Rage stands ready to bring Manson down for good as he charges forward with the Staples Center air conditioning at his back. “CRRRRRACK!!!” “TWO” Manson remains standing as Jason lays on the mat a victim of a Spike Jenkins Yakuza kick that took the victims head CLEAN OFF! “What a shot!” Spike turns toward the blistering crowd holding up one finger as if giving himself a point. Yes folks what a surprise Hollywood Spike Jenkins is a mark for himself. “CRACK!” Manson is also a mark for Jenkins, like marking his face up with a devastating elbow to the face. “ONE!!!” “BZZZZZZZZZZZTTTTTT” “Who could it be?” Pete wonders. The crowd erupts for another recent returnee as “Anxiety” hits the SWF specially designed sound system as Christian Fury emerges into view. With kendo stick in hand Fury jogs down the entrance ramp visibly excited about the opportunity he has been given…he just needs to outlast eighteen other competitors. “Hailing from Cleveland, Ohio…CHRISTIAN FURRRRY!!!” “Pete I would say this man is the wildcard. He has all the tools to get it done, but such a low number could hurt him.” King compliments Fury. “That and the four other guys in the ring.” And Pete obviously has a heated history with the guy. Dropping his kendo stick at ringside, Fury hurries into the ring as Manson pushes Jenkins back into the turnbuckle. Immediately Fury meets with Stryke who charges the Cleveland native for the hell of it since Jason Von Dierch kills him dead with a leaping clothesline anyway! Dierch rolls right back to his feet where Fury is waiting with a spinning roundhouse kick that Dierch actually dodges. Fury loses control of what little control he had as Dierch hoists him into a body slam position while trying to dump the fresh Fury to the outside!!! “Get him Dierch!” Kin…Pete yells…SWERVE! Fury though refuses to leave early as he grips the top rope with both hands making it impossible for Dierch to push him over. Manson noticing the struggle latches on to Spike’s arm and whips him into the pile causing a slight domino effect. Dierch staggers backward from the impact as Spike falls to the mat clutching his face. And Fury comes out unscathed until he turns to notice Manson standing right in front of him. Attempting to put the fear of god in the grizzled veteran Manson lifts his clubbing right hand only to have Fury deliver a flurry of jabs to his sternum followed by a strong knee to the weakened gut. With his bitter opponent doubled over Fury bounces off the ropes leaping into the air with a pendulum like scissors kick that puts the Raging Bull on the mat!! “C’mon Pete don’t you think Fury is at least doing decent for himself. I mean he is a good guy…now.” King antagonizes his partner in crime. Stryke calmly rises back to his feet ignoring Fury for a moment as he hoists a hurting Manson to his feet. Using a decent amount of strength the ‘Fuck veteran pushes Manson backward into the ropes and grabs a leg. In a moment of despair Stryke makes eye contact with one Christian Fury who nods at his veteran in need of help as he grabs the other leg. In unison both men look to hoist the Raging Bull over the ropes backward, but the German protagonist interrupts the proceedings by driving a forearm into the temple of Fury. “Nice shot from Von Dierch.” “C’mon Pete please drop the grudge. You know that was a mistake by Dierch cause the point of the match is to eliminate competitors not save them.” Suicide King would sure does have a point and it seems Dierch heard the announcer’s critique as the German brawler attempts to hoist Fury over the top!!! The veteran intelligently hooks his arm under the middle rope causing a problem with upward momentum. Stryke continues diligently to toss Manson over, but to no avail until he makes eye contact with Spike… …To which Jenkins politely declines with a sharp middle finger directed toward Stryke! “YEEEEAAAHH!!” The hometown crowd actually cheers Jenkins who continues to catch his breath away from the action. Obviously Stryke doesn’t take Spike’s disrespect lightly as he drops everything and charges the former cruiserweight champion. The number one entrant rolls his eyes as he exits the trap of the turnbuckles to the middle of the ring where Jason Von Dierch surprises the man from Hollywood with a running shoulder block! The impact sends Spike forward into Stryke who uses his momentum to toss Spike over the top rope!!!!! And on to the ring apron. “OOOOOOOO!” The crowd echoes as Spike damn near falls off the apron just from the shock of it all. Stryke panics as does Jenkins who sloppily springboards into the ring almost tripping over himself. Nobody in the Staples Center has any idea what Spike was trying to do since Stryke catches the youthful veteran nailing him with a standard belly to belly suplex with the technique of Ghost Machine version 1.0 as opposed to the improved 2.0 version. “Spike came *THIS* close to meeting his end there.” “TEN” “NINE” Over by the north ropes Fury smacks Manson with a forearm before using the second rope as a lift to kicking Manson in the face. “CRACK!!” “SIX” “FIVE” The Raging Bull retreats in an attempt to gain back the strength he had when he first entered the ring when it was a choke slam fest. “Woah I just noticed the ring is getting quite full.” King states “There are five men in the ring currently with one more getting ready to come in.” “FOUR” “THREE” “TWO” “ONE!!!” “BBBBBBZZZZZZZZZZZTTTT” Some members of the crowd complain about spilled drinks and choking on popcorn as some weird robot song plays over the PA. “Ok five men in the ring, and a robot…maybe?” King certainly struggled with that phrase. The crowd is totally indifferent to Ghost Machine even though there are a few cases of extreme jeering that only the top heels have garnered. The unorthodox robot makes his triumphant entry as Chris Belcourt pushes the hunk of metal down the ramp on a dolly. The SWF road agent looks like he would rather be boiled in scalding hot oil than be for lack of a better term Ghost Machine’s bitch. After breaking a major sweat Belcourt allows Ghost Machine to step forward pulling an introduction card out of his mouth before handing it to Chris Belcourt who seems to be doing some overtime this week. The unlucky road agent relinquishes the card to Funyon before getting the hell out of the Staples Center for a much needed smoke break. “Hailing from Parts Unknown…GHOST MACHINE V.2.0!!!” The robotic individual enters the ring gaining the attention of one Jason Von Dierch who has had a fantastic outing in the ‘Fuck so far. Ghost Machine looks to hurt Dierch, but the German brawler is slightly quicker to the punch. Ghost though dodges the closed fist opening the door for a heavy shotei bomb that drops Dierch in one shot. “OMG BUMB OFF A SHOTEI!!!” A couple marks in the audience freak out as Dierch falls to the mat due to the palm strike. Ghost Machine wishes to destroy the impudent human as he pulls The Rage into a standing head scissor symbolizing the beginning of his/its powerful piledriver. Hollywood Spike Jenkins mentally decides to take a chance as he jogs forward leaping off the back of the immobile Dierch attempting to drive a knee into Ghost Machine’s hard drive. “That’s a quirky way to perform a shining wizard.” “Oh c’mon King that’s a brilliant way to perform it. Ghost Machine never saw it com…” Pete is stopped dead noticing that Jenkins over jumped the mech competitor slightly leading to the robot staggering back with Jenkins on his shoulder. Spike’s face grows cold as Ghost Machine attempts to dump him to the outside, but the straight edger grabs the top rope with one arm on the way down… …Saving himself from elimination!! “YEEEEAAAHHH!!” The crowd erupts as Spike hurries back into the ring from the ring apron continuing forward driving a knee into the back of Ghost Machine. Ghost Machine’s CPU orders him to stagger forward uncontrollably even falling into a flatliner delivered by Christian Fury! South of the conquering of Ghost Machine Stryke delivers a series of right hands to the face of Dierch who just recovered from the beating Ghost Machine gave him. Stryke attempts to level Dierch with another off the wall right hand, but the German born competitor ducks locking the SWF veteran in a full nelson. The Rage’s grip isn’t nearly as tight because of fatigue factors, but then again Stryke’s vitality has also taken a hit being the fourth entrant and all. “Stryke should thank The Rage for keeping both men in the ring with that painful full nelson.” Pete says. “Agreed. Even though I’m sure if Stryke got eliminated it wouldn’t hurt him as bad.” “True, he has been eliminated in the past three Clusterfuck matches.” “*Cough*FOUR*COUGH!” King seems to have quite a cold. “OOOOO!” The crowd echoes as Fury drops Spike with a single forearm. Spike falls into the corner in a sitting position trying to gain some rest after having his jaw JAKKED by the wild forearm. Fury looks to finish Spike off possibly, but the weak straight edger makes sure to point out that Ghost Machine is back on his feet…functioning normally. “TEN” “NINE” “EIGHT” Fury makes no mention of the cold robot shadowing him as he leaps forward on to the second rope shocking everyone with such a risky tactic. Fury leaps backward turning in the air to face the menacing machine as he locks his leg around the head of Ghost Machine attempting a hurricarana. Ghost Machine well aware of the pain he loves to dish out to humans… Humans…plural. Ghost Machine uses Fury’s momentum against him as he simply tosses the veteran off into the turnbuckle where Spike Jenkins’s sits. “SMASH!!!” Fury clutches his back rolling on the mat while Spike simply has a far away look in his eye. “THREE” “TWO” “ONE!!!” “BZZZZZZZZZZZZZTTTTTTTTTTT!!” The house lights dim as post psychedelic strobe lights pan around the Staples Center like a laser show as “I’m Your Boogey Man” hits the sound system. “BOOOO!” Unimpressed with the show and the man that emerges the crowd jeers the delusional man not machine known as The 70’s Dude! “Another ‘Fuck first timer. Man King we’ve had plenty of those tonight.” “Leave it to the SWF to break the first timers in the right way…giggity” The beer bellied 70’s Dude struts down the aisle dancing like a rejected actor trying out for Flashdance. The Dude attempts to whore himself out to women half his age inducing vomit around the arena. “Hailing from Newark, New Jersey…THE 70’s DUDE!!!” “Oh have mercy!” King screeches. The Dude enters the ring understanding that everyone in the ring, but Ghost Machine is pretty banged up. Ghost Machine stares his newest victim down before stalking forward with cruel intentions. “Hey Pete it’s the Robot or man vs. the Dude or man. This is a battle for the ages.” The 70’s Dude stops Ghost Machine…with his hand? Slightly malfunctioning Ghost Machine waits as the lights in the arena dim and a disco ball falls from the ceiling!! Already sweating like a pig the Dude strikes a quick pose as the hip disco anthem “Stayin Alive” by the Bee Gees mysteriously hits the PA system. “Well, you can tell by the way I use my walk, I'm a woman's man, no time to talk. Music loud and women warm. I've been kicked around since I was born. And now it's all right, it's O.K.” Hysterically The 70’s Dude begins to do the once popular disco dance shaking his hips while flipping his hand pointing to the air. “Well now, I get low and I get high And if I can't get either I really try. Got the wings of heaven on my shoes I'm a dancin' man and I just can't lose. You know it's all right, it's O.K.” Ghost Machine begins to bob his head a little along with moving his hips all the while the rest of the SWF superstars catch their breath. “Ah, ha, ha, ha, Stayin' alive. Stayin' alive. Ah, ha, ha, ha, Stayin' alive.” The song hits what can only be described as the chorus as Ghost Machine cannot resist the urge any longer as he begins to do the robot!!! “Hahahahahah.” Pete can’t help but chuckle. “What the hell…” King is speechless. Ghost Machine continues to bust a move as suddenly the lights shoot on leading to Manson of all people delivering a kick to Ghost Machine’s gut. Using the possibility of opportunity, The 70’s Dude leaps a few inches off the ground slinging his leg behind the head of a doubled over Ghost Machine!! “CRASHHHH!” “THREE MILE ISLAND!!!!” Pete shills as the robot was tricked by man made music…despicable. The disco ball returns to prop heaven as the arena lights return to normal. “TEN” “NINE” On the other side of the ring Stryke hoists Dierch up for a slingshot suplex, but in his weakened state the SWF veteran can only drive the German brawler down on to the top rope gut first. With an opening Christian Fury leaps forward taking Stryke down uncontested with a cross body!! “SIX” “FIVE” Dierch’s perspiration levels are reaching an all time high as he attempts to pull himself up… “CRRRRRACK!!” “Holy crap!!!” “Crap?” Dierch falls to the floor due to a Spike Jenkins kick to the face!!!!!!! “DING!!!!” <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<< The Rage Jason Von Dierch ENTERED: 3rd LEFT: 2nd ELIMINATED: Nobody ELIMINATED BY: Hollywood Spike Jenkins LEFT: Hollywood Spike Jenkins, Stryke, Manson, Christian Fury, Ghost Machine V.2.0, The 70’s Dude. >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> “Dierch had a good showing, but the number could have been his downfall.” “Or Spike being an opportunistic glory hogging son of a bitch.” “You know King you could have called him Kobe Bryant and that would have saved you a whole mouth full.” “And you could have said no, which would have saved you a mouth full.” EWWW gross. “THREE” “TWO” “ONE!!!!” The countdown reaches zero… “BBBBZZZZZZZZZZTTTTTT!” “GET GET GET OVER IT!! “Get over it” hits the PA like a hooker OD’ing on caffeine announcing that the NEW hardest working man in show business has arrived. A lone spotlight shines down on the entrance ramp as the failed actor makes his way down the ramp. “YYYYYYYYEEEEEAAAAAHHHHH!!!” “Another first time ‘Fuck competitor.” King just likes to say Fuck and get away with it. “This ovation is almost deafening.” “Hailing from Hollywood, CALIFORNIA…WES DAVENPORT!!!” The crowd explodes as Wes rolls into the ring and goes right after Manson who is beaten and bruised. “CRACK!” But he’s also a tough son of a bitch. Wes finds his nose possibly relocated as Manson simply lifts his foot driving it into the face of Wes. The actor staggers backward from the impact falling into The 70’s Dude who takes the liberties of locking the enigma in a modified headlock before raking his face across the top rope. Manson feeling a bit left out saunters over taking the time to club Wes in the back. “Manson and The 70’s Dude using their intelligence to double team the freshest man in the match.” “I’m thinking that’s a combined intelligence Pete.” “Quite possibly so.” “SMACK!!!” “WHOOOO!” The crowd’s eyes shift over to Stryke and Christian Fury who have been at each others throats since Fury’s arrival into the match. Stryke clutches his chest after a brutal chop, but let it be damned the ‘Fuck veteran doesn’t strike back. “SMACK!!!” “WHOOOO!” Fury grimaces, but he’s in too deep now to beg off. “SMACK!” “WHOOOOO!” Stryke strikes again. “SMACK” “WHOOOO!!” Fury fires right back as both men reload before unleashing forearms respectively. “CRRRACK X 2!!!!!” Both men fall backward as the Staples Center audience leap to their feet giving the match especially Stryke and Fury a standing ovation. “CLAP CLAP CLAP!!!” “TEN” “NINE” “EIGHT” “Amazing, Stryke and Fury almost pounded on each other for a full two minutes.” “Oh yeah that’s amazing especially now that both are weakened for the rest of the match making it twice as hard to win…way to go guys!” King brings the sarcasm. “FIVE” “FOUR” “THREE” “TWO” “ONE!!!” “BBBBBBZZZZZZZZZTTTTTTT!!” “We are officially halfway in CLUSTERFUCK 2006” The crowd rise’s in anticipation to see entrant number ten as “Oh No” kills the PA, but nobody can hear it anyway since the reaction is too damn loud. “YEEEEAAAAAAHHHHH!” “Hailing from Hollywood Boulevard…URBAN LEGEND TODD CORTEZ!!!” The crowd explodes as a quick burst of pyro goes off usually showering Todd Cortez, but one of the favorites ignores his usual theatric entrance while sprinting down to the ring. “King I usually don’t make predictions. But Todd Cortez is pound for pound one of the best athletes the SWF has ever seen. Not long ago he faced El Luchadore Magnifico….” “And lost.” “Yes, but he took the champion to his limits and back again. I’d say he’s more than due for another shot.” Cortez wonders over toward Stryke and Christian Fury; both still reeling from their epic brawling. Grabbing both men by the head, Cortez slams both men into each other downing the two in a single flick of the wrist. Wes continues to get pounded on until Spike realizes he needs an ally, and who better than a fellow Hollywood native. Spike stalks Manson and The 70’s Dude choosing to get extremely low before powering upward lifting Manson vertically over the top rope…AND TO THE FLOOR!!! “DING!!!” “Just like that King, that’s all it takes. Manson was in complete control then BAM it’s over.” “True and once again Spike takes advantage from behind or some other angle that doesn’t involve going face to face.” <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<< MANSON ENTERED: 5th LEFT: 3rd ELIMINATED: Nobody ELIMINATED BY: Hollywood Spike Jenkins LEFT IN RING: Hollywood Spike Jenkins, Stryke, Christian Fury, Ghost Machine V.2.0, The 70’s Dude, Wes Davenport, Urban Legend Todd Cortez. >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Spike’s eyes roll back into his head dreaming of beautiful visions of a pillow and his bed. Spike shakes away the illusions just in time to see The 70’s Dude coming from an angle with a clothesline strong enough to elevate Spike over the top rope. The straight edger’s hands squirm all around looking to grab the top rope on the way down…but he fails. “DINGHOLDONASEC!” “Hey what’s the hold up? I can still hear out of my right ear so why is there no bell?” “Look King Spike is somehow holding on.” The 70’s Dude almost loses his cool once he realizes that Spike was able to grab the middle rope. In theory Spike’s feet should have still touched the floor, but the straight edger was able to bend his knees not allowing his feet to hit the floor. The Dude looks down on Spike sinisterly as he launches his foot forward into his opponent’s back. “CRACK!!” The impact causes Spike to swing forward followed by flowing backward smacking his spine on the ring apron. “NO!” Spike shouts his grip loosening considerably while his ability to keep his feet from touching the ground falters. “One more should do it.” King mutters. The Dude prepares another punt… “CRACKKKK!!” “YEEEEAAAH!” “What is he doing???” Spike remains outstretched on the outside, but not on the floor! Wes repays Spike’s earlier contribution with a jab to The Dude’s kidney region. “TEN” “NINE” The Dude turns into Wes who shuts the heavyweight down with a textbook DDT putting Spike in the clear, but for how long? The NEW straight edge sensation carefully pulls himself to the ring apron; lying on it looking to get some rest. Wes looks down on his fellow Hollywood native giving him a firm nod, and Spike responds with a twitch… …LEADING TO WES RETORTING WITH A KICK!!!!! “Shit…” Spike hollers as he rolls toward the floor… “And they say he’s a bad actor. Give this man a grammy.” “Ugh King that’s for musicians.” “I don’t care Spike’s gone and that makes me…oh you have got to be kidding me.” Before Wes can check on the man he just “eliminated” he notices the countdown reaching two. “TWO” “ONE!!!” “BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZTTTTTTTTTT!!!!” “King what is that up in the sky…” “Is it a bird?” “No…” “Is it a plane?” “Nope…” “Then what the fuck is it?” “Super…man…????” The crowd gawks at the ceiling as a man in red and blue spandex descend from the sky and into the ring just as Funyon announces the mysterious competitor. “Hailing from Krypton…SUPERMAN!!” The crowd goes ballistic as the man dressed, as Superman stands tall in the ring with his hands on his hips. “King that’s…Matt Myers!!!” “Fool that’s not Myers. That is Superman. You know the alien that is faster than a speeding bullet, stronger than a locomotive, can leap Janus in one bound.” Yeah King marks. That’s right the cosplay master returnith in grand style. The ring is full of superstars except Myers who has evidently pissed off Wes in some fashion. Soon memories of Wes getting cut for his first ever big project role flashes causing the actor to charge the man of steel. “Oh yeah. Before Wes moved his career to B movies he tried a big budget film. That being the new Superman that remained in limbo until earlier last year. Yes Wes was cut from a film that floated in limbo for years. And now Myers is going to pay for his rejection.” How does Pete know this? Myers’s eyes bulge as Wes slams his knee into the gut of Superman before tossing the cosplay master over the top rope and to the floor!!!!! “DING!!!!” <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<< Matt Myers ENTERED: 11th LEFT: 4th ELIMINATED: His pride ELIMINATED BY: Wes Davenport LEFT IN RING: Hollywood Spike Jenkins, Stryke, Christian Fury, Ghost Machine V.2.0, The 70’s Dude, Wes Davenport, Todd Cortez. >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> During the comedy that is Matt Myers, Spike Jenkins somehow remained on the ring apron horizontally holding on to the bottom rope with one hand, and now he is safely in the ring with five men and a robot that wants to destroy him. Wes quickly realizes that Matt Myers is a cosmic joke, but he doesn’t realize that an Urban Legend is standing behind him. Wes can’t act his way out of Cortez’s Russian leg sweep as the Urban Legend takes the actor down. Rolling through, Cortez hurries to his feet before dropping a leg across the throat of the B movie star… “CRRRRAAACKKK!” “Where did he come from?” …Cortez eats a basement dropkick from one Stryke. Tired, Stryke rises back to his feet to probably go haunt Fury some more, but instead is forced to face off against the improved Ghost Machine!! “TEN” “NINE” Stryke a man without fear looks to grapple with Ghost Machine, but the dynamic robot performs a standard go behind locking Stryke in a reverse waist lock. The heavy cruiserweight refuses to go down so easy throwing elbows like his life depended on it. Ghost Machine’s inhumanly strength actually starts to decrease giving Stryke the opening he needs with a leaping, twisting enziguri that clocks Ghost Machine in the side of the head. Stryke makes it back to his feet immediately only to have Christian Fury sneak up on him with a reverse waist lock. “EIGHT” “SEVEN” Totally bummed from the lack of rest Stryke attempts to break free of Fury’s trap, but to no avail. Cortez back on his feet after eating that sensational basement dropkick earlier in the match. The Urban Legend kneels down looking for an opening all the while Fury actually hoists Stryke into the air, which signals Cortez to take off. The former number one contender to Magnifico’s World Title charges hitting Stryke in the rib area with the high impact Hollow Point!!! “SIX” “FIVE” The impact forces Fury to stagger backward blind of what is going on behind him while Stryke is motionless in his ‘Fuck rival’s hands. If Fury had eyes in the back of his head he would be able to clearly see a dazed Spike Jenkins act on impulse by pulling the top rope down causing a double low bridge effect!!! Fury stumbles over the top rope and to the floor, as does Stryke who graciously attempts to hold on to the top rope… …Only to have Fury in one last ditch effort force him south to the floor!!!!! “DING!!!!!” “DING!!!!!” “Christian Fury and Stryke are both gone!!!” “Well Pete that would only be fitting for those two who solely battled each other during their stay in the ‘Fuck.” King decides to try and make sense. <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<< Christian Fury ENTERED: 6th LEFT: 5th ELIMINATED: Nobody ELIMINATED BY: Urban Legend Todd Cortez and Hollywood Spike Jenkins LEFT IN THE RING: Hollywood Spike Jenkins, Ghost Machine V.2.0, The 70’s Dude, Wes Davenport, Urban Legend Todd Cortez >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> “FOUR” “THREE” <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<< Stryke ENTERED: 4th LEFT: 6th ELIMINATED: Nobody ELIMINATED BY: Urban Legend Todd Cortez and Hollywood Spike Jenkins LEFT IN THE RING: Hollywood Spike Jenkins, Ghost Machine V.2.0, The 70’s Dude, Wes Davenport, Urban Legend Todd Cortez >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> “TWO” “ONE!!!!” “BBBBBBBBZZZZZZZZZZZTTTTTTTTTTT!” The audience doesn’t get a chance to rest between that extraordinary elimination sequence, as the next mysterious superstar is ready to make their presence felt in this year’s Clusterfuck! “China Girl” hits the PA signaling the emergence of another high flying cruiserweight that will definitely be out of in this case her element. Frisco leaves his Japanese import to fend for herself giving his goodbyes at the top of the ramp. Determined to be the first woman to win the ‘Fuck Candace sprints down the ramp. “Hailing from Tokyo, Japan…Candace “The Joshi Dragon” Okimura!!!” “YEEEAAAH!” The crowd cheers for the likeable Japanese babe as she enters the ring immediately performing a picture perfect dropkick to the face of Spike Jenkins, which causes the number one entrant to almost go over the top rope AGAIN!!! “Get him Candace!” King cheers the female on. Teetering on the top rope Spike kicks his legs like a world class swimmer trying to keep his body in the ring. The female risk taker attempts to hurry over toward Spike, but instead she falls into the sights of one The 70’s Dude! The Dude poses a little bit for the attractive young lady only to have his hamstring kicked inward by the feisty Japanese import! “YEEEAH!” The crowd cheers the underdog on as she continues to blast away at The Dude’s thigh. “CRACK!” “CRACK!” “CRACK!” After a moment of stinging pain The Dude decides to strike back with a disrespectful backhand that sends the Joshi Dragon reeling. Grappling the weak warrior, The 70’s Dude flips her over on to the mat with a slick side suplex. Spike thankfully finds his way back into the ring directing himself fact to face with the Urban Legend. Spike attempts a forearm smash, but Cortez proves to be quicker unleashing a swift kick to Spike’s sternum while pulling him into a standing head scissor!! “HE’S GOING FOR THE RIOT ACT PLUS!!”

Congrats to Muzz for winning. Rest of comments will come later and I'll probably post my match tomorrow. Really though congrats to everyone who made an attempt to write the CF since its you know a lot. Comments tommorrow some time.

I resent the whole thing. One 49,000 character and another 45 to 46,000 one. Those are rough estimates. So I hope they go through. Oh and the new maximum post length is like 137,000...yeah.

I'm going to start sending mine soon. Sorry for the hold up, I new today was a good day to skip school.

The Main Event - SWF World Heavyweight Championship Match El Luchadore Magnifico © vs. JJ Johnson Like I've always said ELM is the franchise. And being Johnson's resident jobber boy I would say he's also awesome, but I'm not about to bet against ELM. It can go either way though. -=-=-THE CLUSTERFUCK-=-=- 1. "Hollywood" Spike Jenkins 2. Laberinto 3. "The Rage" Jason von Dierch 4. Stryke 5. Manson 6. Christian Fury 7. Ghost Machine V. 2.0 8. The 70's Dude 9. Wes Davenport 10. Todd Cortez 11. Matt ??? Myers (go wild) 12. Candace "The Joshi Dragon" Okimura 13. Kevin Coyote 14. The Crimson Skull 15. Landon "La Cucaracha" Maddix 16. Bruce Blank 17. "The Icon" Max King 18. Zyon 19. TORU Takahara 20. Tim Dillon I'll take one guess...Todd Cortez. SWF International Championship Match Jay Hawke © vs. Wildchild WC is a main event writer and Hawke is still developing into that even though he has beat everyone who's challenged him for the midcard to upper midcard title. But I'll with WC if he writes to win. SWF Ultraviolent Championship Match - Japanese Deathmatch - Best of Five Bruce Blank © vs. "The Divine Wind" Akira Kaibatsu Draw. Shit's going to blow leading to a sudden death match where the winner is the one that didn't suffer a sudden death...yeah that's it. Singles Match Michael Cross vs. Ced Ordonez Cross, and I have confidence he'll be good. Additional Clusterfuck Match Predictions: How many will actually turn in a match? 11 people will turn in a match...I hope. Who will be the MVP of the Clusterfuck? The winner...duh. Actually I know who it will be in my match, but in others...I'll say Stryke.

OOC: Comments are welcome, and for the more experience writers could someone point me in a direction on what may need to be improved on to win a big match since when it comes to the big matches (Johnson, Hawke) I always put together "a good showing" and I just want help on getting better. Also feel free to comment on the match in general, thanks. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A common SWF cameraman catches the full glory of a jam-packed Qwest Center located in the decently populated Omaha, Nebraska. That decent civilization seemingly has all arrived at one destination…LOCKDOWN! Tonight has been a night of rabid confusion followed by one of the strongest cards Lockdown has featured in months. Expecting the strict rule the energetic audience was quite bamboozled to hear and see particular actions that would not be viewed as Family Friendly. Case in point…one of the amazingly structured signs made by one of the SWF’s more die-hard fans. “FUCK FAMILY FRIENDLY TELEVISION!” Or in this case one of the SWF’s die-hard with a vengeance fans. “King, tonight has been…well an awkward night in SWF television.” Pete sugarcoats the latest Lockdown happenings. “Awkward? Are you kidding me, everyone from the SWF crew to Ced Ordonez has absolutely no clue what is going on. At one moment the family friendly rules are in affect, and the next they are not. I would like to take this opportunity to say they are not. And with that I would also like to say that the family friendly rules are the biggest piece of shi…” “KING! Can we please get to the wrestling since you know this is a wrestling show.” “Pete if this wasn’t the main event and the fact that wrestling events with one commentator tend to suck, I would probably smack you around while fiddling with my latest divorce papers. But since it is the main event and my all time favorite professor is in this match…I’ll let your attitude slide.” “Pfft…thanks. Anyway tonight has been an awesome night for wrestling especially with the Toru/JJ Johnson encounter from earlier tonight. However, the crowd has silently anticipating the Genesis rematch that some say stole the show. “That’s right, Pete. Tonight we have Jaw Hawke facing off against that punk Zyon. And the biggest injustice. Hawke only has to defend his International title while the spot monkey’s title is safe from Hawke’s talons.” “Perhaps, but no matter what secret injustices the SWF has behind closed doors the upcoming main event is sure to impress the fans here tonight.” And Funyon will start the final festivities. “LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! Tonight’s main event will have NO TIME LIMIT. NO COUNT OUTS. And NO DISQUALIFICATION!!!! To win a CANADIAN DEATHMATCH, one wrestler much get a grand total of a ten count. The total will only go up if a competitor picks up a fall of three or more!!!” Funyon introduces the rules of the SWF’s version of a Canadian Deathmatch. Struggling to not pop out of his tuxedo, Funyon takes a step back as the lights in the arena dim… “YEAHHHHH!” The crowd explodes as the explosively expensive Smarktron lights up. “I’M BORN!” “I’M ALIVE” “I BREATHE!!!” The crowd explodes as “Vitamin” plays over the astonishing PA system as the anticipation for the Genesis rematch continues to slowly build. Erupting with excitement the crowd leaps to their feet as the reigning Cruiserweight champion leaps through the pitch black curtain. “YEAAH!!” The fans echo as Zyon looks out into the thousands that corrupt the Qwest Center! Each person with a smile on their face screaming at their hero who looks to capture another piece of gold tonight. With the Cruiserweight title safely strapped around his waist, Zyon brushes the hair out of his excited eyes before sprinting down the entrance ramp slapping a few hands on the way. Leaping on to the ring apron, Zyon energetically flips into the ring dazzling some with his athletic ability. “Look at him King. Was there ever a time you looked so happy to just be competing like Zyon is?” “No…” King is quite cheery. “Vitamin” continues as Zyon unstraps his title before performing a quick head bang followed by the proud youth throwing his title into the air signaling to the world that he is the reigning Cruiserweight title. Zyon retreats back into a random corner as he awaits the man that beat him at Genesis. And he doesn’t have to wait long. Suddenly “Learn To Fly” plays as the crowd remain on their feet, but fire off a slightly different gesture toward the International champ that has yet to make his arrival. “BOOOO!” The crowd is relentless as a bright spotlight appears at the top of the ramp along with the figure of a rugged veteran. The Dean saunters down the ramp dressed in his glossy purple and blue robe. Focused on the challenge at hand, Hawke ignores the envious crowd that chooses to jeer the respected technician. “Now this Pete is a true champion. Yeah the crowd may hate this man with a passion, but they have no choice, but to respect this man.” Hawke gets on the ring apron after making his way down the ramp. Arrogantly wiping of his shoes as he enter the ring, Hawke twirls showing off what a true technician looks like before disrobing to the pleasure of many females in the audience. The Dean folds his robe and hands it to an attractive ringside attendant before climbing on the turnbuckle and hoisting his International title in the air as “Learn to Fly” ends. “BOOOOO!” Funyon steps up to the plate once again as both Zyon and Hawke relax in their respective corners for what must be the beginning of BOXING STYLE INTROS!!! “The following match is for the SWF INTERNATIONAL TITLE! Introducing first the challenger…” “YEAAAAAHHHHH!” The crowd explodes overpowering Funyon’s booming voice for a second before the expert announcer shouts into the microphone a little bit. “To my left weighing in tonight at 200 lbs, he hails from ELKHART, INDIANA. He is the current SWF CRUISERWEIGHT CHAMPION. He is the Unique Youth ZYON!!!!” Funyon shouts as the accentric crowd shouts right back in the forms of cheer and respectable comments. Zyon steps out and takes a slightly arrogant bow toward his opponent before taking a step back, adjusting the title located over his shoulder. “And to my right, the champion. Weighing in tonight at 215 lbs, he hails from the Hall of Fame City CLEVELAND, OHIO. He is the reigning INTERNATIONAL CHAMPION. He is the Dean of Professional Wrestling, he is JAY HAWKE!!!!” The proud champion emerges from his corner and once again hoists the title he has made his in the air. Both champions hand their respective titles to the beautiful ring attendant before getting into the mode. What mode you ask? The mode every athlete has when they know that the time has come to step up their game. A time where the lines of good and evil are blurred, a time where entertainment and skill reigns supreme. In other words it’s Hawke vs. Zyon part two. “I’m beginning to get goosebumps. The reaction from the Omaha fateful is enough to excite all the on lookers.” “I hate to say it, but I agree. These two tore the house down last time they met, this time they may leave a city in rubble.” The Main Event referee senior official Nick Soapdish glares at both men before looking out into the riotous crowd. This.is.insane. Ding! Ding! Ding! “YEAHHHH!” The audience roars as Zyon energetically hops from his corner, while the technical master chooses to slowly circle the ring. Neither man takes their eyes off the other until Hawke looks to play off of history…he is a Dean after all… …And extends his hand. “Normally I would say for Hawke to go to hell, but Zyon and the Dean did shake hands at the end of their last match.” Pete has a good memory. Zyon pauses his hyperactive movements as the crowd shouts a bunch of noise. “Don’t do it!!!” That would be what the noise translates into. Zyon loves the crowd, but sometimes a man has got to do what a man has got to do…or something like that. The youth also extends his hand and latches on to Hawke’s. “CRACK!!!” Well that didn’t take long. “Hawke immediately shows his true colors. He is still the same dastardly bastard that captured the title months ago.” “Hey he’s at least an honest dastardly bastard though.” “Kinda like you, right King. “Exactly.” Zyon rubs his face after a flattening forearm struck the youth while he was defenseless. Determined, Zyon charges the retreating Hawke who has a wide grin the size of the Great Wall of China. Ignoring the possible effects of his action, Zyon finds himself hooked by Hawke as he gets thrown to the mat with a hip toss. Quickly, the youth rises back to his feet and stumbles into another hip toss. Agitated and obviously going away from any form of strategy he created before the match, Zyon rapidly rises to his feet and attempts a wild clothesline. Hawke the veteran of the two easily ducks and applies a reverse waist lock on the youngster. Hawke transitions the waist lock into a back drop attempt, but the resourceful Cruiserweight champion flips back to his feet. Understanding he has the drop on the champion, Zyon reaches forward only to fall into ANOTHER hip toss!!! “This is what I like to call a schooling, Pete.” Zyon takes a moment to clutch his back before kipping up to his feet…and stalling. Hawke stuns the audience with his arrogance as he gives his dangerous opponent a golf clap, which is far more insulting than a regular clap. ”BOOOOO!!!” The crowd roars as Zyon’s eyebrow twitches before he once again charges forward. Sprinting the youth runs up to a ready and willing Hawke…before running past him??? Shocked at the latest turn of events Hawke turns his head just in time to see Zyon springboard off the middle rope before throwing a horizontal roundhouse with the far leg! Hawke looks for the counters, but can only manage a defense as he puts both arms in front of his face. “CRACK!!!!” The kick deflects off of Hawke’s arms, but the impact was enough to knock the International champ off balance for a second. A second is all Zyon needs as the youth drops to one knee using the other leg to sweep the staggering Hawke off of his currently unsure feet. Fluidly, Zyon rises to his feet before leaping into the air and crushing Hawke with a standing flipping senton back splash!! The International champ gasps for air as Zyon immediately exits out to the ring apron…as Hawke rolls far away before rising to his feet. “BOOOO!” “What were you saying about a schooling, King?” “Zyon just finished his free hour. Class will be in session shortly.” King retorts. Zyon enters the ring by conventional means as Hawke looks to be a little flustered after the latest exchange. Zyon mocks the Dean of Professional Wrestling by performing a golf clap of his own. “YEEEEEEAAAHHH!” The crowd cheers one of their favorites as Hawke calmly rises back to his feet. Smiling the Dean extends his hand again, this time for a test of strength??? Imagine Hawke’s surprise when Zyon ignores the gesture and charges this opponent before delivering a shoulder tackle that drops the cocky Cleveland native. Hawke pulls himself back to his feet just as Zyon bounces off the far ropes. The Dean grabs the charging Zyon, and spins him around in a dazzling tilt a whirl, but somewhere in the wrestling storm Zyon latches on to Hawke’s arm and takes him to the mat with a modified arm drag. Both men rise to their feet as Hawke transforms into the aggressor and sprints toward the Unique Youth who takes a powerful step before leaping into the air with a leapfrog! Both men once again find themselves on their feet, and their back turned to one another. In a moment of duo desperation both turn and throw a forearm. “Crack!” Well Zyon threw a forearm. Hawke went away from his usual game plan and fired off a closed right hand that jacked the youth’s jaw. Hawke once again charges, and this time is successful with a clothesline that drops Zyon to the mat. Without a moment of hesitation, Hawke drops on top of Zyon and begins to take a page out of stablemate JJ Johnson’s book as he drops bombs on Zyon’s face!! “You have to admit King, this is so unlike Hawke. In the early going he has resorted to brawling…which is flat out weird.” Pete points out the obvious. With his options numbered to one the youth puts both arms up as the technicians’ punches begin to have little effect. However, in Hawke’s case they had infinite effect as he going into phase two of his plan. Hawke rolls to the left side of Zyon shocking the youth by wrapping his legs around the youth’s left arm and pulling back with his hands!!! “HA! See Pete even when brawling Hawke has ways of breaking out the technical work as shown with this juji gatame.” Who knew King could pronounce juji gatame? Zyon begins to feel the pressure of pain dissect into his left arm as he attempts to thread his free arm through in a desperate attempt to break the hold. Sadly, the attempt is a definite no go, so the youth has to come up with a different plan. And Hawke? “C’mon Zarquon!!!” “I thought Zyon had his respect?” “I’m guessing he does. But a spot monkey is just a spot monkey, he’s not special.” Hawke’s taunting fuels Zyon to break free as he places both feet on the mat causing him to bridge up, actually putting more pressure on his wounded arm area. “Grr.” Zyon grinds his teeth as he transitions from the bridge to his knees due to his ability to roll backward. Zyon’s arm is torqued in an awkward way, as many are unsure rather Zyon’s new position has lessened or added to the pressure being shot through his arm. The youth doesn’t waste any time as he leans to the right pinning Hawke’s shoulder to the mat with a pin attempt. ONE… TWO…Kick off. Hawke places both feet under Zyon’s armpit area before pushing the youth away, freeing said youngster from the dangerous juji gatame. Zyon takes a moment to clutch his shoulder as Hawke strides toward his wounded competitor… “SMACK!!!!” “WHOOOOO!” …And right into a stinging chop. Hawke grimaces as he clutches his chest. Zyon takes the opportunity to kick Hawke in the gut before locking the technician down with a front face lock. Once again though Hawke refuses to give Zyon the advantage as the amateur wrestler trips Zyon to the mat with a double-legged takedown! Hawke however is still trapped in the front face lock, but being the pro that he is the International champ also has a solution to that problem. Using his hands, Hawke throws his lower body into the air vertically looking to drive his knees into the open sternum of his opponent. Blinded by Hawke’s magnificent upper body, Zyon doesn’t notice Hawke’s plan before it is too late. “SMASH!!!” “Gah!” Zyon gasps as Hawke delivers a sharp knee to the youth’s gut. Like a slave during Lincoln’s reign as champion over America, Hawke was free and Zyon was hurting. Hawke rises back to a vertical base before “helping” Zyon back to his feet via pulling of the hair. Hawke twists Zyon’s left arm before forcefully pulling the youth toward his shoulder. The two competitors collide with Zyon’s wounded shoulder going into Hawke’s magnificent frame. “CRUSH!” The International champion doesn’t stop there as he repeats the process once more. “CRUSH!” Eh what hell. How about another one for the road. “CR..ACK??” Zyon though will have no of it as he blasts Hawke in the face with a forearm during the reel in portion of the maneuver. Stunned, Hawke clutches his face leaving himself open for Zyon who opts to bounce off the far ropes and leap backward. The youth wraps his legs around Hawke’s waist as he tries to roll through, but to no avail. The stunned International champion lifts Zyon into the air for a reverse power bomb, but Zyon instinctively wraps his arm around Hawke’s face before using the downward shift in momentum to finish the sequence out with a sit out bulldog!!!! “Beautiful counter by Zyon.” Pete praises. “Beautiful Rey Mysterio copycat by Zyon.” King complains. Zyon rises back to his feet as he takes the time to point to the top turnbuckle. “YEAHHHHHH!!!” Zyon receives the reaction he was gunning for as he saunters over toward the turnbuckle, and ascends them by grabbing on to the top rope and using the leverage to hop directly to the top rope. Patient and in firm control Zyon pauses as Hawke raggedly makes it to his feet noticing a flying object. Is it a bird? A plane? Some loser in blue spandex and a red cape? No…it’s Zyon performing a missile dropkick. “CRASH!!” And that’s Zyon missing the missile dropkick. Hawke was able to side step the high-risk maneuver leaving Zyon to crash to the mat, and more specifically smack the canvas with his face. The youth staggers back to his feet gripping at his face giving Hawke all the reasons in the world to take the initiative. Sprinting forward Hawke actually leaves his feet and attempts a cross body, but Zyon with improved ring awareness drops down using one of his right hand to pull the top rope down leaving Hawke to soar through the air like his last name details he can. The fans gasp as the International champ crashes into the unforgiving ground that is covered by little padding! “It seems Hawke has studied into the Lucha Libre style a little bit. The leap was dazzling, but I do sense a problem with the landing.” Pete shows that he can indeed be a smartass. Hawke clutches his stomach as he slowly rises back to his feet knowing that the spot monkey should be interrupting his rest any time now. And boy is he right. Inside the ring, Zyon rubs his wounded shoulder for a second before sprinting toward the far ropes and springing off them toward his destination. The Dean notices that Zyon has that wild look in his eye, and at this point there is only one way to tame the beast. Shocking his attacker, Hawke leaps on to the ring apron challenging the youth to change his strategy. When Zyon can’t stop himself Hawke attempts to take his head off with a momentous forearm. “CRRRSWISH!!!” The not so strategic youth decides at the last second to switch his strategy. Dodging the oncoming blow to his face, Zyon slides under the bottom rope before leaping straight back to the ring apron before Hawke can say “Damn.” Irritated the International champion throws a wild backhand that Zyon carefully dodges as one of his feet teeters from the ring apron. Leaving himself wide open, Hawke prepares for the worst as Zyon throws a balanced kick to his opponent’s sternum that lands!!! With his opponent stunned, Zyon wraps his arm over Hawke’s chest while hooking his leg behind the International champ’s!!! “It’s good to know that Zyon is taking advantage of the first lockdown with not only family friendly rules, but in this matches case…no rules at all!!!” King shouts. The crowd prepares the “Holy Shit” chants as Zyon takes a moment to situate himself before pulling back with a DECLINE FROM THE RING APRON…or not! Hawke refuses to have his face obliterated as he grips the top rope with his far arm saving himself from the impact… …And Zyon!! “CRASH!!!” The youth flies off the ring apron and crashes into the safety barrier…how ironic. A barrier made for safety leads to immense pain as Zyon’s head snaps backward on impact!! The Cruiserweight champion finds himself defenseless while in a sitting position trying to regain full consciousness as apart from the blurred vision he is stuck with at the moment. However, Zyon’s blurred vision sees a distorted figure leaping his way and suddenly there is no feeling but a sharp pain in his left shoulder! Ringside eyewitnesses claim with a gasp that Hawke leaped off the ring apron and placed a perfect knee to Zyon’s shoulder while the youth was dazed. Relentless, the Dean of Professional Wrestling forces Zyon back to his feet as he nonchalantly shoves Zyon back into the ring and away from the possible hardcore environment. “Let’s Go Zyon!!” The crowd shouts as both men start on their feet. Hawke takes advantage of a slowed Zyon by locking up with the youth. For a short amount of time both men struggle for position until Hawke easily wraps Zyon in a standing wristlock. The youth immediately rolls forward giving Hawke the chance to read his opponent like a book as he leg drops Zyon’s left arm. Scissoring the arm, Hawke pulls in random directions hoping for snap, crackle, or pop. The youth between grinding his teeth and grunting finds a way to bring his legs up and scissor Hawke’s head to the mat!!! “YEAHHH!” The crowd cheers as Zyon attempts to choke the life out of Hawke with his legs. The technician uses his strength advantage to break Zyon’s death grip before rolling away from the Unique Youth. Standing, Zyon bounces off the rope just as Hawke rises to his feet wrapping the International champ in a running bulldog attempt, but Hawke tosses the rookie off into the ropes. Blindly, the youth bounces off the ropes with his back exposed which couldn’t make the opportunistic champion happier. Ready and willing to trap the youth in a grapple Hawke moves in for the kill as Zyon flips backwards unleashing a kick to Hawke’s face!!!! “Pele’ Kick!!!” Pete shills. Zyon makes it back to his feet and rushes up on the stunned Hawke who has dropped to one knee clutching his face. The youth realizes Hawke is vulnerable as he dead lifts Hawke into the air with a scoop, which very well could lead to the Aero Driver!! Hawke though floats over and locks the Cruiserweight champion down with a reverse face lock. The bottom drops out for Zyon as Hawke spikes Zyon’s left shoulder blade into his knee with modified reverse DDT. The Cruiserweight champion clutches his shoulder area as Hawke drops on his opponent for the cover, hooking the leg. ONE… TWO…kickout. Zyon escapes Hawke’s chance for points leaving the Dean to try something else. Lifting Zyon to his feet, Hawke grapples the youth’s left arm and Irish whips him into the ropes. Zyon bounces off and dodges a leg lariat attempts before springing off the far ropes. Hawke turns to face Zyon ready for what offensive maneuver fate brings his way. Fate along with Zyon confuses the technical master as Zyon slides under Hawke’s open legs instead of attempting a strike on a defenseless champion. “HAWKE!” King shouts. Suddenly, everything becomes clear; as the International champion is frightened to realize that he finds himself in a pump handle position and it dawns on the champ that his arm was grabbed during that insanely quick sequence. Zyon moving at a lightning pace hooks Hawke’s head with one arm before lifting his trapped arm with the other. The International champ notices that all the fans at ringside are frowning… …Then he realizes that he is upside down. “CRRRRAAAAACCCCCKKKK!!!” Zyon spikes Hawke into the mat with the deadly 911 AERO DRIVVVAAA!!! Hawke is mostly motionless apart from the minor spasm. Zyon clutches his left shoulder as he falls on to Hawke. ONE!!!! TWO!!!! THREEEE!!! FOUR!!!!! FI…shoulder up! Hawke either weakly gets a shoulder up or has a mighty spasm that bumps Zyon off the lateral press. “ZYON LEADS FOUR TO ZERO!!!” Funyon booms from ringside while Zyon exits to the ring apron. Hawke looks like road kill with a pulse so the least the youth can do is put him out of his misery. Springboarding into the air Zyon sits out while in the atmosphere looking to drop the dime on Hawke’s face. However, the prided villain rolls out of the way leaving Zyon to crash to the canvas ass first!!! Clutching his lower back, Zyon staggers to his feet as Hawke pushes himself to his. Hurting from his mistake Zyon continues to put the pressure on Hawke with a clothesline attempts. Dodging isn’t an option as the Dean of Professional Wrestling latches on to his opponent’s arm before dropping backward with a single arm DDT!!! “GAH!” Zyon shouts as his left arm snaps backward in an unorthodox angle. Even through the agonizing pain Zyon is still mentally capable to roll away from Hawke who usually locks on a fujiwara armbar after the move. The youth pulls himself to his feet using one arm before turning into a Yakuza kick performed by the charging Hawke that lands FLUSH…into the youth’s shoulder. Zyon staggers backward grimacing as a glossy eyed Hawke puts a boot to the youth’s gut. A teacher of the game, Hawke places Zyon in a front face lock before arrogantly giving the crowd some shake, rattle, and roll action before dropping Zyon with a swinging neck breaker followed by the cover. ONE… TWO… THR…kickout. “Hawke remains scoreless.” Pete reminds the home viewers. “Big deal. Zyon’s lead is minor in the big picture. I guarantee you Hawke will not only avoid the shutout but he’ll win. Do you hear me “Iwasshutoutallmylife” Pete!” King is a bit hostile as is the audience in the Qwest Center as they realize that Zyon is six counts away from winning the title. Unlike Michael Jackson or R. Kelly who are six counts away from jail time. Hawke tries to recapture the control he held earlier, and more importantly the control he held on Zyon in their previous meeting. As both men flounder while on their feet, Hawke latches on to Zyon and attempts to take him over with a Northern lights suplex. A sudden downshift occurs as Zyon parachutes down to the mat feet first before pulling downward with a DDT attempt. With the pace picking up Hawke stands back up before Zyon can spike him to the mat. Once again Hawke hoists Zyon into the air, but this time sets him innocently up on the top turnbuckle. Looking for a big time move Hawke tries to split away from Zyon’s grip, but in a moment that only Zyon can create the youth spins off the ropes and drops the International champ with a tornado DDT!!!! “CLAP CLAP CLAP” The audience gives the exciting competitors a standing ovation as Zyon quickly rises to his feet and leaps to the middle rope before jumping on to the top rope. In what can only be described as destruction in motion the youth drops down with a double jump split legged moonsault causing the youth to spring into the air and land cleanly on Hawke!!! “He calls that Dusk. Another big move from Zyon.” ONE… TWO… THREE!!!! FOU…foot on the rope. “YEAAAHHH!” “ZYON LEADS SEVEN TO ZERO!!! Funyon once again booms, as Zyon is a regular three count away from victory!! Zyon with all the momentum heading his way lifts Hawke to his spaghetti legs before dropping the current International champ with a weak scoop slam if you can call it that. It more looked like Zyon lifted Hawke into the air before dropping him on his back as his shoulder gave out. Zyon takes a brief moment to hide his weakness as he looks out into the standing crowd before making a throat slicing gesture! “He has to be going for the Final Flash!” The DOGGAH would be right as Zyon ascends the turnbuckle. Taking a deep breath Zyon IS SHOCKED TO SEE HAWKE SPRINT UP THE TURNBUCKLE!!!! Zyon’s eyes bulge as Hawke grapples the youth and takes him down with a top rope belly to belly superplex…oh yeah just like Kool Aid!!! “SEE PETE! That is what happens when you count Hawke out. COVER HIM!” King demands, and Hawke obliges as he crawls over to the downed youth. Fragile the International champion plops on to Zyon praying for at least a three count. ONE… TWO… THREE…NO!!! Dazed from being dropped on his head, Hawke slams the mat with his fist enraged from being disallowed from winning the match. Angered, Hawke has lost all hope for a technical wrasslin’ match as he lifts Zyon to his feet while looking out into the on the edge of their seat audience. “CRACK!!!” With Hawke’s attention diverted Zyon spins into the air with a powerful European uppercut that sends the International champ backward and to the outside. Staggering around like on a drunken binge the longest reigning champ in the SWF orders the massive Funyon to move. While Hawke verbally abuses Funyon, Zyon runs forward diving between the ropes with a suicide dive attempt… “CRRRRRRAAAACCCKKKKK…DAMN!!” “OOOOOOOO!” The fans echo as Zyon falls to the floor limp as Hawke chalantly tosses a dented chair toward Funyon. Beaten and bruised the cocky champ looks back toward the announcer and with a grin mutters “Thanks.” The Dean of Hardcore Wrestling uses most of what is left of his strength to force Zyon back to an assisted vertical base before rolling the unconscious youth into the ring. Wasting no time even though technically he wasted time jawing with Funyon the crisp competitor covers the sometimes-sloppy competitor. ONE!!!! TWO!!! THREE!!!! FOUR!!!! FIVE!!!! SIX!!!! SEVEN!!!!!! EIGHT!!!! “He could win it right here Doggah!” NINE!!!! TE…foot on the rope. “YEEEEEAAAAHHH!! The crowd explodes as Zyon’s foot sets effortlessly on the bottom rope as his wounded fate is currently in Hawke’s hands. “Remember King, Hawke still has to sustain at least a three count to win the match.” Pete informs the uninformed. “JAY HAWKE LEADS NINE TO SEVEN!!!!” A chairless Funyon announces as Hawke carefully forces Zyon back to his unsure feet. Desperate like a wounded coyote, Hawke tosses the youth toward into the top turnbuckle left shoulder first. “Gah!” The youth grimaces as he drops to one. The deadly champion follows Zyon placing a brutal knee to his opponent’s head causing a slight whiplash effect. Glossy eyed Zyon finds himself on his feet again as a blurry group of figures cheer his name. “Let’s GO Zyon!!” The words pass through one ear and out the other as Hawke grabs on to Zyon’s left arm before ascending to the second turnbuckle. A slight gasp is heard from the Nebraska natives in the audience as Hawke spins off with a tornado single armed DDT tearing Zyon’s shoulder to pieces. Oh and the vengeful technician doesn’t stop there as he immediately locks on the fujiwara armbar. The youth squirms around on the mat trying to get free as Hawke continue to yank upward. “C’MON ZARQUAN!!!!” Hawke taunts before applying a last bit of pressure before releasing the Unique Youth from his painful prison. In full control the veteran forces Zyon to his feet by his sweat soaked hair before ripping his shirt off pleasing most of the female audience… “SMACK!!!” “WHOOOO…oh god that must hurt.” …Before bleeding their ears from the blistering chop. Zyon clutches his chest allowing Hawke to easily scoop the youth into the air with little fight before spiking him down with a shoulder breaker. Hawke hopes for a fatigue induced miracle as he goes for the cover. ONE… TWO… TH…kickout. Zyon continues to fight the struggle as Hawke lifts the kid back to his feet before locking him in a front face lock. Looking to drop Zyon to the mat with his version of the DDT, Hawke finds himself being forced backward toward the turnbuckle. Zyon’s wild legs move like a hill climber before driving Hawke into the turnbuckle!!!! “He’s still in this King!” Pete shills as Zyon uses one arm to clobber the International champ with right forearms, closed fists, and maybe even elbows. Hawke’s head rocks side to side before Zyon Irish whips him into the opposite turnbuckle. Spotty instincts kicking in, Zyon charges full speed as he dives toward Hawke looking to cut the International champ. In what some describe as slow motion, Hawke averts the oncoming collision by dropping to the side leaving Zyon to smack the unforgiving ring post…with his left shoulder. “Pete you were saying?” King grins from ear to ear caused by the sick echo of shoulder on steel. Zyon slowly pulls himself from the ring post leaving Hawke to turn the youth face forward locking him in a front face lock dropping the youth with a DDT!!!! Hawke obviously goes for the cover… ONE… TWO… THR…shoulder up. Relentless the wrestling mechanic known as Jay Hawke whips Zyon into the ropes after lifting him back to his wobbly feet NOT EXPECTING A HALF MOON COUNTER!!! “Zyon’s version of the quebrada.” Pete calls it as Zyon soars through the air landing directly behind a confused International champion. The youth locks in a reverse face lock before attempting to spin around with his version of a stunner. However, Hawke shocks the audience by countering the Wicked Cutter into a hammerlock followed by a cross face!!! “WING SPAN!!!” “WING SPAN!!!” Both announcers shill as Zyon’s eyes grow wide looking half desperate and have scared. His vision begins to blur and everything becomes mute as Hawke continues to tighten the hold with little to no fight… …And then it happens. “TAP TAP TAP!!!!” The youth taps with his scissored arm, but none of that matters…there are no submissions. “I’m loving this, punish that fool.” King demands. Gradually, Zyon’s eyes become a blank stare of nothingness as he becomes a vegetable. Visually pleased with himself, Hawke releases the hold as he drags his opponent’s carcass toward the turnbuckle. “I’m having brilliant flashbacks of their Genesis match. Could we be seeing the HAWKE SWOOP??” King sure is excited. Hawke begins to ascend the top rope backward and when he reaches his destination he looks back to see where he needs to land… …He must be perfect… …And he must be frightened!? Hawke turns to see ZYON IN HIS FACE after the youth bolted up the top rope. Obviously in pain, but far from looking brain dead. “King, did Zyon act his way out of the Wing Span?” “Are you kidding me? He’s not that smart.” King denies the truth. Zyon mimics JJ Johnson as he puts Hawke in a FULL NELSON!! Flashbacks of the SUPER DRAGON SUPLEX are going through the youth’s mind until he suddenly feels his grip destroyed by Hawke’s superior strength. Well that puts a damper on things. Turning, Hawke blasts Zyon with a forearm knocking the youth off the turnbuckle. Cautiously, Hawke turns to face Zyon who is no longer standing on the canvas, but is once again IN HAWKE’S FACE! Absolutely shocked, Hawke attempts to fire off another forearm, but Zyon scoops Hawke with his right arm using his dead left arm as a simple balance…before leaping backward… OH!!!! MY!!! GOD!!! Zyon drills Hawke into the mat with a SUPER AEROOOO DRIVVAAAA!!!! “OHMYGODOHMYGOD!!!!” The crowd mutters as Zyon grabs the International champ’s legs cradling them away from the ropes… ONE!!!! TWO!!! You can count to One Hundred if you want. THREE!!!!! “YEAHHHH!” “THE WINNER WITH THE FINAL SCORE OF 10 TO 9 AND NEEEEEEW SWF INTERNATIONAL CHAMPION…THE UNIQUE YOUTH ZYON!!!!” Funyon booms as “Vitamin” plays over the PA, but nobody can here it anyway. “LISTEN TO THE REACTION!!!!” Pete is forced to yell. “…What a match.” King whispers. “Looking back at Genesis Hawke used a shoulder breaker to keep Zyon down for the Hawke Swoop, but his time Hawke got cocky and figured Zyon was a vegetable after the Wing Span.” Good reporting by Pete. Referee Nick Soapdish hands Zyon his new title as the Unique Youth “pulled a Zyon” surprising everyone. Half conscious, Zyon grips the International title like life itself before looking out into the audience…then staring at the unconscious Hawke. Numerous drops to the head tends to knock people out…even the greats. Family Friendly rules are dead and buried, but Zyon obeys them for one last time, not because he has to… …But because he wants to. Zyon repays the respectful gesture from Jay Hawke at Genesis by shaking the limp hand of the former champion. Clutching his shoulder, Zyon exits the ring after doing the respect thing. “YEAHHHHHHH!” The crowd continues to scream as Zyon makes his exit with the Cruiserweight title and International title over his right shoulder since his left shoulder is dead… …But it was only one sacrifice of many that was used to dethrone the champ, and it was worth it. FADE TO BLACK

Zyon

Fantastic card. Also as for the Canadian Deathmatch. By regular DQ rules does that mean no DQ period or are the only DQ rules that are off pertain to the family friendly rules...if that makes sense.

I sent a PM asking for an extension. Don't know if you got it or not so thats why you don't have a match from me yet. But yeah I'll try finishing it as soon as possible.

Uh Toxx...new cruiserweight champion(thanks JJ) ...psss....over here.

Nigger, cracker, sand nigger, dick, ass, fecal matter, shit, piss, urine, missing limbs, blood guts, fagat, gay, homo, bitch, fuck, bastard, cock, karate chop. Ok look, it sucks (kinda) that someone is stealing your character without your permission. However, writing a PROMO that's sole purpose is to offend others is pretty dumb. I know your related to one of the better writers in the fed (who happens to still be on his vacation from the fed) so I would expect more from you. Please don't attempt to explain the promo by stating Ghost Machine's good intentions. You did your job...I'm offended. However, not because of the above words, and maybe one or two I missed from your promo. Im offended that someone would write such a promo in response to a meer joke. Dude, it's like throwing a fit. Grow up. Ask one of the higher ups what is going on if you feel that strongly about the Ghost Machine character. But hey I'm being nice feel free to write these brilliant promos, I'm sure you'll offend someone and feel darn proud of yourself. *Thumbs up*

Is there any chance the word count of the ME could be bumped up to 6500. It's alright with JJ, and it would make it so I don't have to cram.

White powder covers the crowded streets of Cleveland as many obnoxious land dwellers rush around looking to take advantage of the post holiday buzz. True a person may have legit intentions along with a bright personality, but people are quite obnoxious in the way they control their emotions when it pertains to the post holiday extravaganza of receiving what wasn’t given to you. The chatter filled roads scare off the tourists who may want to visit the Rock N’ Roll hall of fame, and may deny teenagers the chance to egg Jay Hawke’s mansion. Which is why some of us prefer the sidewalk. Layered with a light jacket one particular tourist attempts to fit in with the casual baggy jeans and T-shirt. Hell even a Bengals hat would be a fitting prop to hide the identity of Zak Owens, or to those not in the know…Zyon. Feeling the moderate chill of winter the young professional wrestler continues his journey on a sidewalk that pales in comparison to the infamous yellow brick road. He is certainly not in Kansas, and never was. But being away from Indiana has been frustrating to say the least. Christmas came and gone, and all Zyon got was SWF merchandise to hand out to children who are less fortunate. Well the spotty youth did receive one gift that he had to work to receive, which brings young Zyon to the home of the SWF. Many stories float around the locker room involving SWF headquarters. Some are wickedly cool, while others are dangerously horrible. “Some say the Justice League minus Batman are stationed in the basement of SWF HQ.” As wickedly cool that is, Zyon always preferred the Thunder Cats…cause seriously the chant along with the base was the epitome of awesome. “Some say scientists worked for years to create the perfect weapon to be used in the military.” Once again that would be wickedly cool if these scientists didn’t add sugar, spice, and HOSS like chemical X to create Ghost Machine, which turns the wickedly cool to down right horrible. However, rumors whispered by low paid jobbers and Landon Maddix would not explain the reason for Zyon to visit the temple of work rate. The youth though declined the ability to have a limo take him to HQ, which is why Mr. Owens finds himself enjoying the post holiday extravaganza. Soon though Zyon’s travels are warranted with joy as Zak experiences a beautiful moment of excitement. CHUCK F’N NORRIS!!!!! Zyon on the corner of his eye notices the Walker himself exiting a common vehicle. Sadly, Mr. Norris probably didn’t get the opportunity to turn down a limo, but that’s beside the point. The pro wrestler attempts to force himself toward the cult icon, but the young wrestler opts to continue his journey to the Wizard Of Lockdown. Finally, after minutes of travel and the harsh decision to avoid CHUCK F’N NORRIS Zyon arrived at SWF Headquarters. And.it.was.HUGE. Seriously the tower harboring SWF creative went miles into the air with expensive tinted glass windows covering the building and all of its secrets. With a deep breath, Zyon took his first step into where his lively hood was born… “SECURITY!!!!!” A random female receptionist screams as suddenly brutes dressed in police uniform charge the wide-eyed youngster who swears to god that Halloween ended two months ago. Violently waving his hands Zyon attempts to stop the roided up Vince McMahon rejects, but he soon finds himself pinned to the ground. A twenty-dollar Bengals cap falls to the ground fully exposing the face of Zyon for all to see. “Idiots!” The strong willed receptionist yells as the pit bulls in human form carefully move away from Zyon before darting off in a random direction like they just stole something. “Well that was one hell of a welcome.” Always cheery, the youth dusts himself off before cautiously moving toward the receptionist. “I have a meeting with Joseph Peters.” The youth says quickly before he finds himself in a bear trap or something. The middle aged lady silently points Zyon to the left, and like a good boy Mr. Owens heads toward the second door on the left cause the first door had the heading… “Tom Flesher” And he currently isn’t in. The second door however belonged to one Joseph Peters. Knock Knock Knock “Come in.” Those words granted Zyon the permission to enter a room that only few have WANTED to see. “Oh our prized Unique Youth, Zak Owens. What a surprise.” The owner of Lockdown is overly friendly, and for good reason. Zyon is the last of a dying breed as most cruiserweight have turned toward the technical puru style of wrestling. And with Toxxic gone, and Insane Luchador…dead, Zyon would be one of the last superstars who gets a kick out of putting his body on the line. Technically, Lockdown cuts the legs off of Zyon’s offense, but money earned is money earned. “So I take it you are here to receive the contract of having the first match of 2006 with any opponent of your choosing.” Mr. Peters is all smiles as he brings a piece of paper forward into Zyon’s vision. “I would ask you to sit down, but everything has already been taken care of.” Zyon scans the contract before staring the Lockdown Wizard with a look that transfers into Mike Tyson’s famous quote of wanting to eat somebody’s children. “Zak what is the problem. You get any match you desire, and that would obviously be against Magnifico for the World Heavyweight Title.” Somebody is jumping to conclusions. Zyon calmly lifts the contract off the desk before casually tossing it into the trash can beside him. Arrogantly, the youth extends his hand. “Let’s start over. I’m Zak Owens, and I unlike many of your lackeys, I have a mind of my own.” Stunned, and slightly agitated Joseph Peters extends his hand. Zyon graciously takes a seat as his long brown hair shades his green eyes that continue to glare at the man who used Spike Jenkins as a pawn in their game. “So if you don’t want Magnifico…who do you want?” Mr. Peters ponders only to have Zyon answer the question immediately without hesitation. “JJ Johnson for the Cruiserweight Title. And I want ladders, chairs, tables, barbed wire, semi trucks, school buses…” “Whoa. Ok you want JJ Johnson that’s fine, but it will be on Lockdown. There will be no ladders or tables or anything else you can think of.” Zyon can only grin. “That’s fine, a straight up wrasslin match it is.” The youth speaks with the best Memphis accent he can muster before asking a question himself. “So how is Lockdown doing in the ratings compartment?” All smiles baby. “That is not important since it is obvious you have no ideas on how to fix the situation.” Peters throws it back in Zyon’s face only to have the youth rebel. “Of course I do. I for one believe you should reinstate Bruce Blank to that particular show.” Oh Yeah… *Thumbs Up* “Do you honestly think that will help?” “Of course not, but damnit that’s an idea.” Peters has had enough. “You are just being silly. If you have nothing more to ask, I would like for you to leave.” Grinning from ear to ear the Unique Youth stands up thoroughly pleased with what he has accomplished, but the drastic general manager could not let him go. “By the way how do you plan to stop Johnson when we all know what happened last time.” OOOOOOOOOO no he didn’t. The usual happy Zyon winces as a vision pops up of the night that was supposed to be his, but things just didn’t work out that way. And as 56,000 people look on, JJ Johnson ducks low before bridging back and taking his archrival, Zyon, off of the top rope with a dragon suplex. About halfway through the suplex, Johnson thankfully releases, and he falls hard to the mat. The Unique Youth’s body defines a graceful arc as it sails through the air, and Zyon still has a shellshocked look on his face as he turns 270 degrees, almost in slow motion, the canvas his last view before being shoved headlong into unconsciousness. The youth quickly snaps back into reality taking a moment to answer the harsh question…with a harsh answer. “Heh…I’m going to drop him on his head.”

He's Ghost Machine he can do whatever he wanted including the ability to inhale charisma. That and I heard the phrase on a radio show and found it funny even though it didn't make much sense.

Ghost Machine can wrestle a *** match with both arms tied behind his back while being low on battery. And don't even get me started on his in ring promos. The man who may or may not be a machine inhales charisma. And I really don't need to say this, but Ghost Machine>You...unless that "you" is Blazenwing.