Smartly Pretty

My first match was against MANSON and Rando in a triple threat, but they both no-showed, so my first competitive match was against El Luchadore Fucking Magnifico. Coulda been worse, Raina, coulda been worse.

Too many matches, not enough comments.

SWF WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT/CRUISERWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH Michael Stephens © vs. Tom Flesher © -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- SWF INTERNATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH - OLD SCHOOL RULES Bruce Blank © vs. "The Dean of Professional Wrestling" Jay Hawke -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- GRUDGE MATCH Wildchild vs. Mike Van Siclen -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- CAGE MATCH Landon "La Cucaracha" Maddix © vs. "The Beast" Gabriel Drake -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- FIRST BLOOD MATCH Johnny Dangerous vs. Charlie "Grappler" Matthews -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- SWF HARDCORE CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH Jimmy the Doom © vs. The Crimson Skull -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- SWF CRUISERWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP #1 CONTENDERS MATCH "Hollywood" Spike Jenkins vs. "The Divine Wind" Akira Kaibatsu -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- MYSTERY MATCH "Deathwish" Danny Williams vs. ??? -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- FATAL FOURWAY ELIMINATION MATCH The Scion of Light vs. Scotty "The Crush" Raina vs. MANSON vs. Scott Rageheart -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- TWO OUT OF THREE FALLS MATCH "The Unique Youth" Zyon vs. JJ Johnson -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- SWF FROST PRE-PPV SHOW SINGLES MATCH Ian vs. Larkin Special Guest Referee: THE BOSTON STRANGLER~!

Bruce Blank uses toothpaste?

I was pretty pissed this morning, but I kinda cooled down now. I'll give the whole show a read sometime later today.

My match is a picture-perfect example of quality over quanity, I suppose. WU-TANG CLAN COMIN’ ATCHA! Wu-tang clan’s “Protect Ya Neck” blasts over the P.A system, and “The Divine Wind” Akira Kaibatsu makes his way out of the curtain. Sporting nothing other than his regular ring gear, he slaps hands with some of the lucky fans in the aisle, as Funon reaches for a microphone. “First, from Sendai Japan, weighing in at one hundred ninety five pounds…THE DIVIINEEE WIIINNDD….AKIRAAAAAA KAIBATSUUUUUUUUU!” Akira rolls into the ring at the front, and steps up onto the turnbuckle. He raises his hands in pride, with a huge smile on his face, as his rookie status is no more. Every light in the arena goes to full power as the Smarktron whites out. For a moment the only sound is that of a needle scratching over vinyl... And then *BAM* The heavy drumming of Norma Jean’s “Creating Something Out of Nothing, Only to Destroy It” blasts through the arena as the lyrics pierce the ears of everyone listening. “Like bringing a knife to a gun fight… Like Bringing A Knife To A Gun Fight… LIKE BRINGING A KNIFE TO A GUN FIGHT!” Bright white lights begin flashing at the entranceway. As the growls hit the crowd, Spike walks out wearing a black hoodie on, the hood covering most of his face. Something’s weird though…something about this entrance looks wrong… BOOOOOOOOOOOOO! “That dick, Spike! He’s entering the ring from the wrong entrance way!” Mak yells. “Good! I hope he did! It’s stupid that some people have to enter from one side and other enter from another. Why the hell do we do that?!” Spike drops down to one knee, leaving one arm to hang to the ground, while the other is firmly placed on his knee. After a few moments, Spike raises both arms into an “X”, symbolizing his Straight Edge life style. Spike rises to his feet and begins to make his way down the isle towards the ring. “Hailing from Hollywood California…weighing in at two hundred and twenty pounds…HOLLYWOOD! SPIKE! JEEEENKKIIINNNSS!” Spike makes his way completely around the ring and rolls underneath the bottom rope. He continues rolling until he hits dead center in the middle of the ring. Spike rises to one knee and resumes the position he was in at the top of the entranceway. One arm hanging to the ground, the other placed on his knee. Finally, Spike rises to his feet. He quickly peels off the hood, releasing his blonde, dyed hair free. He puts his arms together, forming an “X” across his chest, again promoting his Straight Edge life style. DING DING DING “And we’re off! This should be a good one!” Akira and Spike circle the ring, soaking in the red-hot Genesis crowd reactions. Smiling ear-to-ear, Akira locks up collar and elbow style, not unlike he did one year ago when he debuted. Spike pushes forward in the hold, and tries to shove Akira into the ropes, but Akira will have none of that, and simply pushes Spike forward breaking the tie up. Offended that the not-quite-rookie would disrespect him, Spike tries another tie up, but Akira shoves it off once again, seemingly just to piss off Spike. “Akira’s been in the SWF for a whole year now,” Mak says. “It kinda shows.” Spike wipes his brow, and charges at Akira once more. As with the pattern, Kaibatsu tries to shove The New Straight Edge Sensation off of him, but Jenkins is prepared by now, and spins to his left, and uses The Divine Wind’s momentum to trip him at the legs with the drop toe hold. He rolls to his side, and locks Akira at the waist from the ground, and then once again rolls sideways, this time rolling towards the head, and curling Akira upwards with the crucifix pin! ONE! TWOOO! THRENOOO! “Woah-oh” King says. “Gotta love early flash pins.” Both men quickly get up, and once again try to go with a collar and elbow tie up. Akira decides to mix it up a little this time, and pushes Spike to the side, and slaps on a side headlock. Spike pushes his way to the side, and spins around Kaibatsu’s back, and locks in a side headlock of his own. Akira smoothly maneuvers his hands between his head and Spike’s hands, and puts in an overhand wrist lock, before pushing it all the way to the ground, and taking Spike with it. Spike – the top chain wrestler in the entire promotion – quickly knows how to escape the hold. He lifts his legs up, and pushes forward a little bit, before using the momentum to roll backwards and summersault to his feet. He then spins around, wrenching Akira’s arm, and drops to his knees, flipping Kaibatsu over his back with the firemans carry. Spike quickly backs away to the corner turnbuckle. “Spike knows what he’s doing out there for sure, Franhis,” “Franchis…?” “Well, you know, started with Franchise then decided to go with Francis…you know…it…collar and elbow tie up once again from these two competitors!” In his own unorthodox way, King correctly calls the collar and elbow tie up. Both men up the intensity and push into each other hard, and then throw their hands down breaking up the hold. The run into each other once more and lock up again, and Akira runs Spike right into the turnbuckle. Referee Byron Dragonson tells Akira to break up the hold. Akira does so, but not before a shove to the chest. “Why in the hell did Byron Dragonson get assigned this match again? Hasn’t he fucked with this feud enough?” King asks. “Well, he got a clean break out of them, so why not?” Mak answers. “That’s not a clean break, Francis! Akira shoved him right in the chest!” “He love tapped ‘em!” The two grapplers meet in the center once more, and Akira shoots out his hand offering a Greco-Roman knuckle lock. Spike brings his hand forward, preparing to tie up, but at the last moment kicks Akira’s leg right at the side, and backs off into the turnbuckle. “Aw, come on, you can’t claim to be the best chain wrestler and then refuse to chain wrestle.” Mak complains. “This is his match, Francis, he can wrestle it how he wants!” Akira reaches out in front of Spike and tries to force him into a hold, but Spike knows just how to counter that, and grabs his arm and twists it around his back with the hammerlock. The Divine Wind ducks underneath Jenkins, and puts him in a hammerlock of his own, but bars the arm inbetween, preventing Spike from further ducking underneath. Spike knows what to do still, though, and falls to the ground with the hammerlock, forcing Akira to follow him. He takes his free hand and grabs at Akira’s hair going for something similar to a grounded cravate, but Kaibatsu let’s go with one hand to swat it away. This allows Spike to roll over, and put Akira back in the hammerlock. “Jenkins is so crisp in the ring. He has a counter and a reversal for every situation and is a master of all wrestling holds it seems like. You can’t tie up with him, because you’re guaranteed to lose that battle. When Spike does lose, it’s normally his temper, not lack of talent, because we know Spike is one of our most gifted athletes.” King compliments. “I think Jenkins sucks.” Kaibatsu ducks underneath Spike one more time, locking in his own hammerlock, but Spike runs backwards, thrusting Akira into the turnbuckle. Dragonson points a finger at Jenkins and tells him to break cleanly. Hollywood Spike turns his head around, and eyeballs Akira as he walks forward. “Did we just see a clean break from Spike friggin Jenkins?” Mak asks. Akira quickly jogs into the middle of the ring, and stretches his arm across his body. He offers a hand to Spike for a Greco-Roman knuckle lock…and this time Spike accepts it. It is Akira however, who returns the favor and bruises Jenkins’ side with a kick! Akira however does not let go of the hold, he simply uses the kick to gain the upper hand, and wrench Spike’s arm. Jenkins won’t let Akira dominate his chain wrestling though, as he summersaults forward, un wrenching his arm, and then cartwheels back, wrenching Akira’s arm. Kaibatsu refuses to be proven a lesser skilled chain wrestler though, and throws an elbow at Spike’s arm, causing him to let go of the arm, and then spins around, dropping Spike to the mat with a drop toe hold! “Spike claims to be the best chain wrestler in the SWF, but that might be because Akira doesn’t talk much, King!” “No, it’s because Spike is a superior chain wrestler than Akira.” Akira floats up after the drop toe hold and grabs Spike around the chin with his arms, and pulls upwards with a somewhat-relaxed camel clutch. However, all it takes is a shot applause, and Akira can’t help but grin and rear backwards and rip at Jenkins with the camel clutch. Akira forgot to lock Spike’s arms however, so Jenkins simply forces Akira’s hands off of his head. Spike gets up quickly and runs towards the ropes. He bounces off the ropes, and throws a swift kick right at Kaibatsu’s cheek! Akira falls right back to the mat, and Spike comes with him, quickly locking in a grounded side headlock. Akira slowly rises to his feet, and backs up into the ropes, before shoving The new Straight Edge Sensation off of his head, and into the opposite ropes. Jenkins comes running back and Akira and Spike have the same idea in mind—shoulder block. Unfortunately, neither man is much more than a vanilla midget, so no one goes much of anywhere. Akira throws his hand down in frustration and then hurls the other one right at Hollywood Spike’s chest for a knife edged chop…but Spike ducks underneath, and locks in another side headlock. “What’d I tell ya Francis? Spike just knows the ins and outs of chain wrestling. Nothing for Akira to be ashamed of.” Jenkins takes Kaibatsu over in the headlock with a hip toss and holds on for the side headlock. Akira takes a bit of a break on the mat, and forces Dragonson to make a quick count, but Akira quickly learns from his mistake and gets right back up at a count of one. Kaibatsu tries throwing a few forearms at Spike’s back to break up the hold, but once again, Jenkins shows his technical prowess and grapevines the arm. Kaibatsu, while possibly losing the technical battle keeps trying to out-wrestle the New Straight Edge Sensation, and wraps his legs around Spike’s head, escaping the headlock. “Spike hasn’t proved much just yet, King,” Jenkins rolls from side to side trying to gain any momentum he can in the headscissors, and finally gains enough to roll over onto his knees. With his head between the Japanese star’s legs, he pulls Akira’s knees apart and pulls his head up. It’s not all safe from there though, as he is met right away with an elbow to the cheek! *CRAAACCCK* Spike is a little bit dazed after the shot to the cheek, and Akira grabs him and stuffs him back in the headscissors. Akira smirks as he grabs Jenkins’ arms and butterflies them across his back. “Look at Akira, butterflying the arm…superb!” Mak declares. “Oh, come one, Francis, he had to nail Spike in the cheek with an elbow to do it…don’t be an idiot!” “Spike had to kick Akira in the nose to execute his chain wrestling.” “It’s not the same.” Spike wriggles one arm in attempt to get it free from the butterfly lock, but to no avail. Jenkins then tries swinging his arm forward, and that loosens Akira’s grip up, but Spike is still stuck in the hold. Jenkins tries one more time, and Kaibatsu finally lets go. Hollywood Spike then leaps forward atop Akira’s chest with a lateral press. ONEEE! TWOOOOOOO! THREEENOOOOOO! Spike doesn’t just roll away though, he goes right back to that grounded side headlock, keeping Akira off his dangerous feet. Kaibatsu does get to his feet though, and when he does he tries to plant Spike with a back drop. Spike sees it coming though and flips out of it. Akira turns around right away to face him, and Spike grabs him with the side headlock, and takes him down once again. “The ball is back in Spike Jenkins’ court, Francis. Spike is going to prove that he can flat out out-wrestle anyone in the SWF, and he’s gonna start with Akira Kaibatsu.” King shills, as Akira fights with the Spike Jenkins headlock. Kaibatsu rolls to the side, but Spike keeps the momentum going and rolls with him, keeping the side headlock in place. Akira tries to roll again, but once again Jenkins keeps the hold moving. Akira then rolls just a little bit and plants his feet, cradling Spike with a flash pin! Spike rolls back to a normal position before Byron Dragonson can even start the count though. Akira uses Spikes lack of self-awareness at the present time to rush back up to his feet, and push the headlock into the ropes. He doesn’t throw him off his head like he did before though, instead he just lets Dragonson count to five. One…two….three…four…and Spike breaks up the hold…and then Akira runs his shoulder right into his gut! “Another questionable break from Akira!” King shouts. “Mak, I understand wanting to win this match, but c’mon, play to win, don’t cheat to win!” “King that doesn’t make any sense. I half heartedly agree with you, but it doesn’t make any sense.” Akira follows up right away, to the tune of one boo somewhere in the 32nd row or somewhere, but cheers mostly, despite the cheating. He throws Spike down with a snapmare, and then jumps to the ground, locking him in a reverse chinlock. Spike throws his elbows towards Akira’s gut, and spins outwards, grabbing Kaibatu’s head in the process and clamping a front facelock. Spike spins a little bit, and alters his hold, and changes it up to a cravat – the Spike Jenkins specialty – and brings both Akira and himself to their feet. Jenkins then spins around, and puts Akira in a side headlock. Another spin, grabbing the arm this time, and locks in a hammerlock. One more rotation, and he grabs Akira’s head in a side headlock from the otherside, and takes him down with a hip toss one more time, continuing to hold on to the headlock. “BEST CHAIN WRESTLER IN THE WOOOORRRLLLLD!” Spike screams at the Torontonian crowd. BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Akira works his way to his feet in the headlock, and pushes towards the turnbuckle. Spike forces the hold back into the center of the ring, but Kaibatsu spins around and uses Jenkins’ own momentum against him to break the hold in the corner. Spike…let’s go….veryyyyy…slowlyyy…. *SLAAAPPP* “Akira just cheap shotted Spike again!” The suicide king barks. “Well with all the technical wrestling, Akira needed to mix it up a bit…besides, any time there’s a space, it’s a clean break, King!” “That’s not a fucking clean break, Francis.” “Technically…” Akira tosses Spike one of his signature European Uppercuts right before whipping him across the ring into the other turnbuckle. Spike lifts his leg up and blocks himself from hitting the turnbuckle, and spins away. Akira, who was running along, tries a clothesline on the turnbuckle, but turns around when he sees Spike no longer there. Jenkins grabs his head along his side, and takes him down once again. “WE HATE HEADLOCKS!” *CLAP CLAP CLAPCLAPCLAP* “WE HATE HEADLOCKS!” *CLAP CLAP CLAPCLAPCLAP* “WE HATE HEADLOCKS!” *CLAP CLAP CLAPCLAPCLAP* “This really is Bizzaro land…headlocks are the corner stone of mat wrestling. Why are we holding Genesis here again?” King quips. “Seriously, King. Did you see outside? That ladder that leads to nothing? Right on the side of the building?” Kaibatsu once again gets up from the headlock and tries to escape from the standing position. He runs towards the turnbuckle, trying that strategy once more, but Spike climbs up the turnbuckle, spins around, and flips Akira with a headlock takedown, putting The Divine Wind right back where he started. Kaibatsu gets right back up though, determined to get out of this headlock. Kaibatsu goes with a brand new strategy this time, and starts tossing elbows into Jenkins’ gut. He then lifts him up by the side, and drops him on his back for a back suplex. …but Spike is still holding on! “Spike is so awesome,” King smiles. Akira goes to an old standby next; he rises to his feet in the headlock once more, and then backs up into the rope. He shoves Jenkins off his head, and into the rope. Spike hits the rope hard, and comes running back with a shoulder block…that doesn’t seem to affect Akira much! “The hell’s he doing, Francis?” “Looks like Akira’s giving Spike the ropes. He’s challenging him to shoulder block him again.” And Akira is doing just that, as Spike runs to the ropes, and once again tries a shoulder block, once again to no avail. Akira makes a try again motion, and Spike does try again indeed. The result is just the same though. Akira lets him go one more time, and we know this because he’s pointing straight up with his index finger. Spike hops up and down trying to get a full head of steam. He starts to run towards the ropes…and then comes roaring right back with a cheap shot! …that Akita promptly ducks! *SLAP* “AKIRA JUST BITCH SLAPPED SPIKE!” YOU GOT BITCH SLAPPED! **CLAP CLAP CLAPCLAPCLAP** YOU GOT BITCH SLAPPED! **CLAP CLAP CLAPCLAPCLAP** YOU GOT BITCH SLAPPED! **CLAP CLAP CLAPCLAPCLAP** Akira wastes no time though, despite everyone’s raucous reaction. He whips Spike into the ropes and catches him by the arm on the way back, flipping him forward for the arm drag. Spike kips up, kicking Akira in the chest on the way. The Divine Wind runs at Spike quickly but Spike counters with an arm drag of his own. Kaibatsu tries to get up quickly, but as soon as he reaches his feet, The New Straight Edge Sensation sweeps him at his feet, and drops an elbow…an elbow Akira rolls out of the way of. Akira rolls backwards onto his feet, and kicks upwards aimed at Spike’s bent over forehead, but Jenkins rolls out of the way, and behind Akira, rolling him up with a school boy! ONEEEEE! TWOOOOOOO! THREEEEEEE-NOPE! The scrambling Kaibatsu rolls out towards his turnbuckle, in attempt to slow the match down. They meet in the center of the ring, and clasp hands in the Greco-Roman knuckle lock. Spike slides over, and locks his arms around Kaibatsu’s waist for the rear waist lock, and lifts him up before dropping him on his stomach amateur style. Spike keeps his hands around Akira’s waist on the ground, continuing to apply pressure at all times. “See that, Mak? Akira knew he had to stay away from Spike’s chain wrestling,” King points out. “Meh.” Spike spins it around, and locks his arms around the face of Kaibatsu putting the front facelock in. The Divine Wind pushes Jenkins’ arms upwards and spins him as he grabs him around the waist and grounds Spike. Spike then flips Akira around, and tries to float over his back and apply the hammerlock, but he over shoots it, and Akira takes advantage by tilting and grabbing his head for another front facelock. “BIG MISTAKE BY SPIKE” Mak points out. “See that, King? See it? Huh? Greatest chain wrestler in the world?” Spike once again lifts Akira up off him and tries to spin him around to gain control, but all he does is spin Akira and keep him in the same place, so Akira simply grabs Jenkins and rolls over, now mounted on top of him. Akira paintbrushes the back of Spike’s head, and then gets off him. YEEEAAAAAAHHHHHH! “Do my ears deceive me, Mak Francis? Did a paintbrush to the back of the head just get a round of applause?” They meet in the center of the ring once again, and lock up at the hands for the knuckle lock. Akira pushes into Spike, but Jenkins does the same and neither man moves anywhere. Akira tries to get lower, but Spike follows him and they end up doing the same thing from a crouched position. They both slowly make their way back up to a normal standing position…and then Akira headbutts Spike! “Akira just headbutted Spike Jenkins…” “What else is he gonna use?” The headbutt, silly as it may be, unlocked the grip, and allowed Akira to hit one of his European Uppercuts, which sends Spike all the way into the ropes! Akira then begins a battery of strikes, nailing Jenkins in every body part imaginable, open slaps and over hand strikes, you name it. Jenkins covers his head up with his arms trying to block any shots forehead. Kaibatsu then hurls one big clothesline at Jenkins, but he does so just a tad to slow, and Jenkins ducks under it…and begins to fire away at Akira! Jenkins nails Akira with three straight jabs to the ear and then runs at the ropes quickly. He bounces back and holds his hands out for the shotei, but Kaibatsu ducks underneath and kicks him right in the head! “This is what Akira needs to be doing,” King says. “If he wants to beat Spike, and it’s very possible that he CAN’T, he needs to strike him, because he damn sure can’t out wrestle him.” “Oh shut up, King. Akira is one of our top chain wrestlers.” Spike rolls out of the ring, and falls to the ground, and rests near the apron of the ring, while Akira takes a seat in one of the turnbuckles. Spike quickly climbs back into the ring, and charges towards The Divine Wind, but Akira sees it coming a mile away and steps away before Spike even bothers trying to attack him; The circle each other in the center of the ring instead. Spike reaches out for a Greco-Roman knuckle lock, but Akira hurls his leg out, causing Spike to back away and not lock up properly. “What Akira’s doing right now is perfect,” King compliments. “Successful in staying away from Jenkins’ chain wrestling, and doing so with his strikes.” Akira charges towards Hollywood Spike and lunges with a forearm, but Spike ducks underneath. He doesn’t pull for a strike right away, instead he boxes with Akira, hopping up and down with his fists up. Akira then shrugs, making a face that practically screams “ok, we’ll have it your way” and he reaches his arm out for a knuckle lock. Jenkins ties up, and right away his hands are twisted upside down by The Divine Wind. “It’s like a game of mercy, King. Ever play that when you were a little kid, King? Mercy?” Spike drops down to the ground, and slides his feet in between the arms. He wraps his legs around the head of Akira…but his shoulders are down! ONEE NOO!, Spike corrects his mistake quickly and gets his shoulder up off the mat. Spike then slides his feet beneath Akira’s head, and places them more towards his chest. Akira, thinking quickly, pulls him upwards and tries to monkey flip him, but Spike won’t let go of Kaibatsu’s hands and comes right back down. He falls on his back, and rolls backwards, and tosses Kaibatsu over him for a monkey flip. …but Akira still has the Greco-roman knuckle lock perfectly in tact. So Spike rolls back towards the ground, and spins to his left. He picks up his feet, and then shoves them right off his hand, releasing the knuckle lock finally. Akira falls backwards, and then is immediately mauled by Spike, who nails him in the back of the head with a running kick. Spike picks up Kaibatsu rather quickly and grabs his arm right away. He takes a light punch at it before tossing it over his shoulder with an arm drag. Spike gets a pin in. ONEEE! TWOOOO! THRENENNO! Spike nearly got that three count, so it’s a good thing he had something to throw against the mat in frustration. Like Akira’s arm. Spike then runs towards the ropes slowly, and leaps up, dropkicking his opponent in the back of the head. Hollywood Spike picks up his tattered foe, and sends him right into the turnbuckle. He tosses a chop right at his chest, and the crowd woo’s along. He tries another one, but Kaibatsu ducks underneath, and Spike is stuck in the turnbuckle now, Akira throws a chop at Spike now, and the crowd woo’s along just as they did for Spike. He throws another chop, but Spike ducks underneath this time! Instead of tossing another knife edge chop however, Spike jumps up and nails Akira in the chest with a dropkick! Kaibatsu bounces off the turnbuckle and wanders into the middle of the ring. Spike grabs his arm and wraps it around his back with the hammerlock before dropping right to the ground. “Man…this entire show is just…wow” Mak says. “And we’re, what, half way through the card?” Akira tries to get up from the hammerlock, and despite Spike’s efforts, he is successful. Spike then wrenches the arm around, turning it into an arm bar. Akira tries to get out of the arm bar by nailing Spike in the cheek with a forearm, which Spike ducks underneath, only further wrenching Akira’s arm. Spike throws his shoulder into Akira’s, then spins his arm around one more time. Spike then backs up onto a turnbuckle, and begins to walk on the ropes. Dragonson starts a 5 count, but Spike jumps off before he can even make it to two. He spreads his legs out and drops them right on Akira’s arm. Akira grabs his arm in pain, as Spike wraps his arms around Kaibatsu’s head with the rear chin lock. Akira throws his elbows backwards, right into Jenkins’ gut, and then he gets up right at his feet. He runs towards the ropes, bounces back, and prepares to hit Spike with a short armed clothesline, but Hollywood Spike catches him with an arm drag. He doesn’t let go of the arm, either. He keeps a hold of it, and bars it on the ground. “These guys are pacing themselves for a loooong match, King. If they don’t start going insane, it could be a while.” Akira manages to get to his feet, as he has done so well so far in the match, and attempts to toss Spike over his shoulder. He is successful, but Spike hangs on, and keeps the arm bar right where it is. After a few more seconds in the hold, Spike let’s go…and then dropkicks the arm right away! BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO “Spike seems to be working over that arm,” Mak points out. “If you take away that arm, you take away Shadows Over Hell.” “And if you take away the legs, you take away a lot of Kaibatsu’s lesser offense. Akira needs to stay away from limb work in the future. I think he’ll lose this match because of it.” “Don’t forget Akira’s the master of the flash pin, King.” “The way these guys are going, I highly doubt the match will end in a flash pin, Francis,” Spike picks up the former cruiserweight champion and predictably wrenches the arm. Akira’s had enough of it though, and he nails Jenkins right in the cheek with a forearm. Spike tries to ignore the pain, and wrenches the arm around once again, but Akira socks him once again. Spike screams as he wrenches Akira’s arm one more time. Akira spins underneath the arm, un-wrenching it, and then nails Spike right in the nose, sending him to the ground! “…and Akira,” King says, “needs to do a hell of a lot more of that.” Spike wobbles to his feet, and tries to throw a punch, but it’s not a very effective one, as Spike is on dream street. Akira locks him in a cravat and tosses him for the snapmare, before knife edge chopping the New Straight Edge Sensation’s back. Akira then tries to follow up with a kick to the chest, but Spike grabs the kick, and twists Akira’s foot around sending him to the ground. Spike slides up his fallen opponents body, and wraps his arms around his head, taking control once again with a grounded headlock. “The ball is right back in Spike’s court,” King says. Mak simply sighs. Akira forces Spike to his feet once again, and backs up into the ropes. He tosses Spike off of his head and into the other ropes. Jenkins bounces back, and baseball slides through Akira’s legs. He gets up, and takes Kaibatsu’s arm and wraps it around his back for a hammerlock. He then slides his free hand up Kaibatsu’s back, grabs his head, and then uses the other one to complete the side headlock. “Right back to where we started,” Mak says. Akira runs with Spike in the side headlock, and tries to shove him through the ropes, but Spike won’t let go, so Akira comes with him! Both men fall to the floor and still Spike refuses to let go of the side headlock! Akira’s had enough of the headlocks though, and he lifts up Spike, and drops him on the hard floor with a back suplex! YEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH! “Back suplex on the floor!” Mak shouts. “We’re pickin’ it up now!” FOOOUUUR FIIIVEEE! It’s only a five count, but Akira knows he may not be in control by a count of 20, and shoves Spike into the ring. He makes a quick cover, hooking no legs. ONE! TWOOO! NOOO! Akira gets right back up to his feet, and quickly shoves Spike up to a seated position. He tosses a knife edge chop at his back, and then follows it up right away with a kick to the chest, which Spike promptly catches. Akira’s learned from his mistakes though, and he hops over Spike’s head with his free foot, and then kicks Spike in the back of the skull! Kaibatsu then runs to the ropes, bounces back, jumps up into the air and drops a big knee onto Spike’s head!!! YEEEAAAAHHHHHHH! “Akira’s learning from his mistakes out there,” King compliments. “That’s really how he’s gotten as far as he has,” Mak says, “He’d make a mistake in one match, and then fix it the next one. What he’s doing now is fixing them quicker.” Spike crawls over to his corner, and uses the ropes to get himself to his feet. Akira takes that as an opportunity to start blowing Spike away with strikes! Spike’s neck snaps back with European Uppercuts, and his chest turns beet red with knife edged chops. Akira then sweeps his feet, sending him onto his ass in the turnbuckle. Kaibtsu then thrusts his boot into the face of Spike. He then runs backwards towards the ropes, bounces back, and raises his foot up near Spike’s face, but The New Straight Edge Sensation rolls out of the way. “Looks like Akira was going for that face wash maneuver that we’ve seen MANSON utilize recently,” Mak says. “It’s not out of Akira’s character to borrow techniques of other SWF wrestlers,” “It’s also not out of Spike’s character to have more than Akira scouted,” King notes. “He knew to roll out of the way of that.” Spike runs towards The Divine Wind and plasters him with a huge elbow to the chin. He then tosses him over to the corner, and runs along with him, and nails him with another elbow in the corner, sending Akira straight to his ass! Spike then rubs Kaibatsu’s face with the boot, and runs back towards the ropes. He bounces back and drives his boot into Akira’s face for the face wash! BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! “I guess Spike wanted to show Akira how a face was is really done,” King laughs. Spike drapes Akira over to the center of the ring, and lays over him as he hooks a leg. ONEEEEEE! TWOOO! THREENOO! “Not enough damage for a pin yet, King,” “Nope. These two have been going at it for about 15 minutes now, and still neither one is showing any signs of fatigue. They’re both tried, of course, but both look like they could go for another 20, you know?” “These two do have a track record of being extremely durable, and being able to go a bit longer,” “Well, Akira goes pretty short sometimes. Like his match against Scott Rageheart. That one ended quickly,” Spike flips his hair out of his eyes, and Irish whips the Japanese star into the corner. Spike steps outside to the apron, and climbs the turnbuckle behind Kaibatsu. He grabs Akira by the hair, and places his knee firmly behind his head. He drops down to the ground, planting Akira’s face into the canvas. BOOOOOOOOOOOOO! “Calf branding!” Mak shouts. “Cover!!” ONEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! TWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! THREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! NOOO! Akira kicks out! “Akira gets his shoulder off the mat at the last second there, King! I’d be worried about your ‘another 30 minutes’ theory, if I were you.” The Franchise laughs. Jenkins picks up Akira by the trunks, and throws a nasty forearm to the cheek. Spike then goes back to that arm he was working on earlier, and wrenches it. He tosses his foot backwards at Akira’s midsection, but Akira catches the leg with his free hand! He sweeps Spike’s other leg with his hand, sending him to the ground. He then spins around with the leg, locking in a boston crab…and then he turns around and grabs Jenkins’ head, locking in the STF!! “Akira’s got the STF locked in!” Mak screams. “Might not be much longer for The New Straight Edge Sensation!” Akira, ever the innovator, curls Spike’s head up, and grabs at his chin with his forearm, turning the STF into something completely un-namable. Akira then messes with his grip, and turns around a bit, and turns the hold into a reverse sickle hold! “Oh my god, what the hell is Akira doing with this hold, Mak?!” King says. “First we had an STF, then we had a god-knows-what, and now we’ve got this…upside down Muta lock thing! What the hell?!” Spike screams in pain as he tosses an elbow at the back of Akira’s head, unlocking the hold. Akira gets up almost right away though, and he lifts Spike by the hair with him. He whips Jenkins into the corner, and Spike runs up the turnbuckle. He comes jumping off backwards, twisting in mid air, sprawling for a crossbody! …which he misses, by far, because Kaibatsu walked out of the way. YEEEAAAAAAHHHH! “That stings,” Francis laugs. “This is the first real big stint of offense Akira has had. He was on and off earlier, but now he’s really moving along, reversing Spike’s maneuvers. Jenkins has gotta some back with something or Akira’s gonna take the match soon,” “To think…this match is undercard. Genesis VII is already ranking pretty high up there on our list of greatest shows ever!” “Hey, the rest of the show could suck, Mak,” “Oh King, you’re just ants at a picnic,” “I’m ants at a picnic? Isn’t that a family guy line, Mak?” Akira picks up The New Straight Edge Sensation by the hair, and wraps his arms around his waist with his head at the side. He lifts Spike as if going for another back suplex, but this time drops him down, planting his back on an extended knee. “BACKBREAKER!” The Franchise shouts. Akira chooses not to go for a cover however, Instead he lifts up Spike by the hair once again, and locks in a front facelock. He then lifts up Spike and holds him vertically for the suplex…and keeps him there. Kaibatsu strolls around the ring for as long as he can, as the Torontonian crowd counts the seconds. ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR! FIVE! SIX! SEVEN EIGHT NINE ….and TEN! Right at the count of ten, Akira drops straight down, dropping Spike Jenkins on his head for the delayed brainbuster, a move we haven’t seen from Akira Kaibatsu since his debut at Genesis VI. “Akira’s using moves that Spike probably hasn’t scouted,” Mak notices. “These two have had three matches, all were fun to watch. But because they know each other so well, Akira needs to branch out a little bit.” “It’s a good idea in principle, but in the end the better professional wrestler will win,” “Maybe the better professional wrestler is the one who comes up with ideas like that,” Mak says. Akira quickly rolls Jenkins over and makes a quick cover. ONE! TWOO! THRENOO! “The stalling brainbuster’s not enough to put Spike Jenkins away, “ Mak says. After the kickout, Spike scurries into the corner, back away from The Divine Wind. Akira walks after him but The New Straight Edge Sensation kicks wildly at Kaibatsu. Akira finally steps off for a second, and then quickly jumps back on Spike after he calmed down for a second. Akira lifts Spike by the hair….and then Spike comes right back with a knife edge chop! “That was the weirdest variation at playing possum I’ve ever seen, Mak” Spike throws another knife edge chop at Akira, and then runs back at the ropes. He bounces forwards, and Akira ducks trying to sweep Jenkins’ legs, but The King of Cambodia jumps over him, and hits the other ropes. He bounces back and nails Akira in the face with a Dangerous Wizard!! “DANGEROUS WIZAARRRDD!” King calls, excitedly. “But Spike isn’t going for a cover!” Mak notices. “Both men are lying on the ground in pain and fatigue,” Both men very slowly rise to their feet, but they do so at the same time. Akira throws a European Uppercut at Jenkins, and Spike comes right back with a knife edged chop. Akira throws another European Uppercut, and before Spike can retaliate he throws another one, sending Jenkins to the ground. Akira picks up The New Straight Edge Sensation at the feet, and tries to flip him over for a Boston Crab. “Akira’s going for a Boston Crab…that’s another move we haven’t really seen from him, but we know is effective. Spike could be in a lot of trouble if Akira manages to turn him over!” Mak shouts. And Akira does just that. He flips him over, locking Spike in the Boston Crab. With his back arched back and his spine nearly ripping in half, the urge to give up is only matched by the noise created by the Torontonian crowd. TAP! TAP! TAP! FUCK EM UP AKIRA, FUCK EM UP! FUCK EM UP AKIRA, FUCK EM UP! TAP! TAP! TAP! Spike pushes his back up, and tries to power out of it, but Akira has a plan to make sure that doesn’t happen. Akira lifts up Spike’s legs and crosses his arms over them switching it to an elevated Boston Crab. “Elevated crab! Spike’s gotta get to the ropes now!” King says. “Crawl, Spike, crawl!” “There’s not much Spike can do here!” Mak says. Spike’s screams echo throughout the Rogers Centre, as he holds out his hand. He screams and he screams, and he whirls his hand up. And… … …. …. … TAAAAA-REACHES THE ROPE! BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! “Spike reaches the rope on one huge lunge!” King shouts. “This match was half an inch from being over!” Akira wipes sweat from his eyes, and lifts up Spike Jenkins by the hair. Akira then whips his opponent into the corner and begins to throw quick, frequent forearms at Spike’s gut. Akira then takes Spike by the arm and whips him into the opposite corner with so much strength, Akira himself falls stomach first into the mat. Spike hits the corner hard and falls immediately. YEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! “Akira whips Spike into the corner with a ton of velocity! Spike’s back has gotta be in some pain after that one!” Mak says. Akira grabs Spike by the hair from his knees, and begins driving his shin into The New Straight Edge Sensation’s forehead. Sweat flying off of Spike in every direction after the knees. Spike screams, and stands right up, before yelling right at Akira, and wiping the smile off his face with an open handed slap! Akira then slaps him right back! Spike counters this with a brutal forearm! Kaibatsu does the same! The two exchange forearms and elbows until Akira manages to salvage enough time to set up for his patented European Uppercut, which sends Spike straight to the floor! Cover!! ONEEEEEE! TWOOOOOOOOO! THREEEEEEEEEENOOO! “That European Uppercut couldn’t seal the deal for Akira,” Mak says, “It’s gonna take a lot more than a strike to the jaw to win a match, Francis!” Akira picks up Spike by the hair once again, throws a quick forearm at his cheek. He then drives Jenkins into the opposite corner, and once again Spike falls to the ground. “This is the type of match Akira needs to wrestle to win,” King reasons. “Earlier on it was a Spike Jenkins match, now it’s an Akira Kaibatsu match. Kaibatsu’s definitely got the upper hand in a style like this,” “I don’t know about that, King. Both guys are well rounded, and pretty versatile,” Spike reaches his knees, but doesn’t get much farther than that, as Akira kicks Jenkins square in the chest. Kaibatsu then turns and nails Spike in the back with a kick, causing him to arch his back. The Divine Wind then un-archs it by tossing one more kick to the chest. The kick sends Spike into the turnbuckle. Akira then gets up, and rubs his boot into Spike’s face, before running back to the turnbuckle, bouncing back and nailing Spike Jenkins in the cheek with a face wash! “There’s that running face wash we saw from both guys earlier. Spike hit it then, but Akira couldn’t, Now it’s Spike feeling the effects of that kick.” Mak says, “That move never ever looks like it’s easy to take,” Spike crawls and mopes around to get to his feet. Akira throws a forearm at Jenkins, but Spike somehow manages to find the energy to duck underneath it, and then kick The Divine Wind right in the gut with his toe. Akira’s still in complete control though, and he shows it here… *CEEEEERRRRRRAAAAACCCCCK* With a huge elbow to the nose of Spike Jenkins! Blood flies from the New Straight Edge Sensation as he groggily walks around the ring trying to figure out what the hell just happened! “Oh my god! Spike’s nose could be broken after that elbow!” Mak shouts. “That elbow looked fucking mean!” King says. “That’s gonna put Akira at an advantage if this match goes much longer. Spike’s gonna get tired a lot quicker.” Spike finally hits the ground after the vicious elbow. Akira makes something of a cover, though he’s really just pressing his arms against Spike’s chest. ONEEEE! TWOOOOO! THREEENOO! “C’mon, Akira, you’re gonna need to make more effort than that if you wanna put Spike away at Genesis.” King warns. Spike tries to sit up and get moving again, but The Divine Wind kicks him in the back, regaining control of him once again. He picks up The New Straight Edge Sensation by the hair, and throws more forearms and elbows into his gut forcing him into the turnbuckle. Akira shoves his elbow into Spike’s face, and then follows it up with another one of his European Uppercuts. Kaibatsu then whips Spike into the other corner, and follows after him with an elbow…but Jenkins lifts his leg up and nails Kaibatsu in the face! Spike lifts himself up onto the second rope, and then leaps off, wrapping his legs around Kaibatsu’s head, spinning off for a diving hurricanrana! BOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! “This crowd is solidly behind “The Divine Wind” Akira Kaibatsu!” “I don’t know if they’re gonna walk out of Genesis with a smile on their face then…that hurricanrana was brutal!” The impact from the hurricanrana sends Akira outside to the floor, but Spike doesn’t want to slow the action down like Akira does. Spike hits the opposite ropes and bounces back. He picks up speed, and then dives through the middle ropes for a tope con hilo nailing Kaibatus with his elbow! BOOOOOOOOOOOOO! “Spike Jenkins is cruising out there! Fast paced action in this cruiserweight match!” Mak shills. “This match is getting out of control! They’ve been going nonstop for a half an hour now!” Spike picks up his fallen foe, and drags him over to a chair sitting in the corner, by the home dugout. He sits him down in the chair, and throws a knife edge chop at him. He then backs up towards the other side of the barricade. Spike then runs back towards Akira, and raises his foot up towards him, nailing him in the cheek with a yakuza kick on the outside! “YAKUZA KICK FROM JENKINS!” King shouts, “Akira’s gonna be feeling that one next week!” FIVEEE SIIXXX SEEVEEENN Spike hears the cries of the referee but ignores them, as he does to most referees. The New Straight Edge Sensation drags Akira over to the other corner, and drops him down in that chair, knocking a small camera man out of the way. He nails Akira in the face with a clubbing forearm, before backing up once again. Spike runs forward and nails Akira again with the yakuza kick! BOOOOOOOOOOO! “A-KIR-A! A-KIR-A!” “The crowd in Toronto is trying to get behind Akira and spark a comeback…otherwise it looks like Spike’s gonna take this one,” NINEE TEN ELEVENNNN “Spike Jenkins has completely turned this match around…three minutes ago it was Jenkins in need of the come back! Now Akira’s on life support!” Spike climbs up the ring apron, and begins to taunt the Torontonian crowd. Akira slowly but surely rises to his feet, and when he does, Spike has a surprise waiting for him, as he jumps off the apron, and goes for a hurricanrana…but Akira catches him, spins him around, and drives him back first into the guard rail!! YEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH! “Akira once again manages to turn the match around! He’s gotta capitalize on this!” Akira capitalizes indeed. He picks up The New Straight Edge Sensation by the hair, and throws elbow after elbow into his already broken nose, splattering blood almost onto the fans in the front row. Akira then whips Jenkins into the ring, and follows right after him beating a count of 15. “Akira is livid! This match is going to be over soon!” Mak shouts. Akira grunts as he steps over to the turnbuckle, and climbs up it. He leaps off, as the Kodak cameras flash in the crowd, tilting backwards in mid air, planting his back right into the chest of Jenkins. YEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! “SENTON BOMB! SENTON BOMB!” Mak shouts. “NO! NO! SHIIIIT!” King curses, as Akira makes a cover! ONEEEEEEEEEEEE! TWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! THREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! NO! NO! SPIKE GETS HIS FOOT ON THE ROPE! “OH MY GOD, YES!” King shouts. “YES!” Akira’s had quite enough though. He picks up Spike once again by his dyed blonde hair, and locks him in a cravate. He runs towards the turnbuckle, and steps up them. He backflips off it, and tries to hit Spike with the Divine Wind, but Spike flips him backwards off of him! Akira, being the nimble guy he is, however, lands on his feet. He isn’t on his feet for very long though, as Spike jumps up, twists backwards and nails Akira in the head with a Pelè kick! Akira is stunned for a moment, and stutters around the ring! Spike grabs him by the waist, and flips him backwards, dropping him on his head for a German Suplex pin! “YES! YES! DROPS HIM ON HIS HEAAAADDD!” ONEEEEEEEEE! TWOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! THREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE NOOOOOOOOO! AKIRA ROLLS THE SHOULDER UP! “WHAT THE HELL?! NO WAY!!” King shouts. Spike must be thinking the same thing King is, because when he picks up Akira, he butterflies the arms, and lifts him up over his head. “Oh shit, King” “Oh shit, Mak” “HE’S GOING FOR BREAKING EDGE!” The team calls in unison ` Akira doesn’t want to let Spike break his neck though. He wriggles around atop Spike’s shoulders, and breaks one of his arms free. Spike grabs it right back though, and struggles to get Akira balanced so he can hit the maneuver. Akira won’t let him do that though, and twists around, and then wraps his legs around Spike’s torso. He flips backwards, and rolls Spike up with a Japanese rolling clutch pin!!! “JAPANESE ROLLING CLUTCH PIN!” ONEEEEE! TWWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! THREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! “YES!” Mak shouts. “Akira has bested Spike Jenkins!” “Here is your winner, and #1 contender to the cruiserweight championship…The Divine Wind…AKIRRAAAA KAAAIIIBAATSUUUUUUUU!” “That was a fucking doozy, King. The official time is 41 minutes and 12 seconds.” “You know, sometimes when you’re following up Danny Williams vs someone who’s identity is hidden to the fans…well you have trouble looking good…this match didn’t do that at all. Genesis VII is shaping up to be a CLASSIC!” And the classic fades to the next segment.

The deadline is at 10, SOL. You got it in in plenty of time. Besides, If you need more time you can always ask for an extension.

5.7k even right now. Headed for 8k. Larkin is at 10.

It was never brought up in OVW, but you're still right.

As has Larkin. she doesn't know she's writing a wrestling match though.

Doesn't Sly?

I wrote a promo too, but spike was all "lol no"

SWF WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT/CRUISERWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH Michael Stephens © vs. Tom Flesher © -Normally, picking against either man is retarded. I'd totally call a 60 minute draw if this weren't Genesis...so...coin flip says Toxx. -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- SWF INTERNATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH - OLD SCHOOL RULES Bruce Blank © vs. "The Dean of Professional Wrestling" Jay Hawke -The gimmicky match fits Bruce's style. Blank eff tee dub -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- GRUDGE MATCH Wildchild vs. Mike Van Siclen -WC, because really, if he wanted to he could be main eventing this show. -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- CAGE MATCH Landon "La Cucaracha" Maddix © vs. "The Beast" Gabriel Drake Drake, just case predictions on this show are hard. -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- FIRST BLOOD MATCH Johnny Dangerous vs. Charlie "Grappler" Matthews -Grapplah, fuh sho -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- SWF HARDCORE CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH Jimmy the Doom © vs. The Crimson Skull -something funny. Something so deliciously hilarious we forget who wins. -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- SWF CRUISERWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP #1 CONTENDERS MATCH "Hollywood" Spike Jenkins vs. "The Divine Wind" Akira Kaibatsu -I can tell you who the loser will be...THE WINNER OF THE MAIN EVENT! HA! See it's a joke because they'll be facing one of us. -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- MYSTERY MATCH "Deathwish" Danny Williams vs. ??? -Um, danny, duh. -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- FATAL FOURWAY ELIMINATION MATCH The Scion of Light vs. Scotty "The Crush" Raina vs. MANSON vs. Scott Rageheart -I debuted last year in a multi man match at Genesis involving MANSON. I won. But you know why MANSON will win this time? His name wasn't all capital letters back then. CAPITAL LETTERS WILL PREVAIL. Good luck to the newbs though -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- TWO OUT OF THREE FALLS MATCH "The Unique Youth" Zyon vs. JJ Johnson -Johnson, Zyon, Zyon. -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- SWF FROST PRE-PPV SHOW SINGLES MATCH Ian vs. Larkin Special Guest Referee: THE BOSTON STRANGLER~! Larkin is fucking pumped for this. She and her reading buddy were discussing psychology today.

in that case...

This card is absolutely phenomenal.

you're leaving McDonalds? Gay. Soooo gay.

I call foul, in that "DWN WTH VWLS" has been a trademark of mine for some time. And you're not even using all caps. Lame.

I like how you know specifically that it's 37.5%, haha.

The HVille Thugg & Edwin MacPhisto Cup of Champions - For Best World Champion ELM The Andrew Blackwell International Champion of the Year Award Blank The Grimedogg Hardcore Champion of the Year Award Spike deserves this for nearly making a gimmick out of the one Cambodian match The El Luchadore Magnifico Cruiserweight Champion of the Year Award JJ PPV of the Year Award Genesis VI The Mayor McCheese Comedic Moment of the Year Award STRAIGHT BREAD!!!!!!!~!~!~!~~!!~!~! The Blazenwing Memorial Trophy - For 'Tool' of the Year -Spoon Jenkins. GET IT?1 GET IT?! HE'S A SPOON?! The Stubby P. McWeed Trophy - For Booker of the Year Raynor

The Fallen Tag Team Trophy - For Tag Team of the Year Two Skinny White Guys (or Galacticos or whatever) The Midnight Carnival Cup - For Stable of the Year Cucaracha Internacional The Ace of Clubs Trophy - For Heel of the Year El Luchadore Magnifico, who I guess still counts, right? The Grand Slam Trophy - For Face of the Year Michael Stephens The Cyclone Comet Trophy - For Promo Writer of the Year Blank. The Nathaniel Kibagami Trophy - For Promo of the Year I'll edit this one in later The William Hearford & Toxxic Trophy - For Rookie of the Year Cross.

The Jayson Grant Memorial Trophy - For Wrestler of the Year Toxx The Divefire Memorial Trophy - For Comeback Wrestler of the Year Tom The Pay-Per-View Match of the Year Award The Clusterfuck The Non-PPV Match of the Year Award JJ/Zyon from 1/4/06 Akira Kaibatsu vs Spike Jenkins - pure rules The Feud of the Year Award Spike Jenkins vs ELM The Jay Dawg Improvement Award - For Most Improved Wrestler I wasn't around last year, so, uh, iunno. Ced Ordonez. The Axis Memorial Trophy - For Under-Appreciated Wrestler Bruce Blank The Rane Memorial Trophy - For Most Impressive Career Drea deserves cred for the numerous wacky characters, I think.

Akira got the short end of that stick, losing the titles via tap out, getting attacked for no reason, never really getting a shot at the Cruiserweight Championship while I had it, and playing second-string to Zyon's angle hi-jacking abilities. I blame myself. ...because I sure deserved a shot at that cruiserweight championship after taking a month off and showing for three matches since coming back.

CAPS LOCK IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR BADASS. AND PUSSY! DON'T FORGET THE PUSSY!

COME ON GUYS. YOU CAN'T BEAT CRIPLERCROSFACE9 I'D KICK ALL OF YOUR ASSES. LOOK AT THE SEXY! I'M DENOMINATING THIS ARGUMENT

For someone who's main argument is how you have a real life, you sure are hellbent on winning this e-argument.