Dandy

Hello? Is it me you're looking for? I can see it in your eyes. I can see it in your smile You're all I've ever wanted And my arms are open wide Because you know just what to say And you know just what to do And I want to tell you so much Screw you.

So many things wrong with that bracket. 1. YKRG is TheDon and is not a rookie. Also, awful. 2. Corey Lazarus is a rookie? 3. Noah Fentz is in the running for "Best" something? 4. Grungy Punk is in the running for "Best" something? 5. Who are any of the others?

Pinball wizard

I spoke with DrVenkman about this thread; he's be happy to know he's missed, but he's enjoying posting elsewhere.

I repeat: The hamster is in the dryer with the jellybeans. Some of you will be receiving directions. The condor is circling. Be on the lookout for a lighthouse while approaching the banks.

You're done, Gus?

I'll be cold in the ground before I recognize Missoura!

Please welcome Enigma, goldengreek, and Ultima to your 2009 moderating team.

Colt Cabana revealed in an interview that Dean Malenko often called him "Kike Cabana".

Did someone say ladder legdrop?

So I'm fucking this dude in the ass, right? I mean, I'm really giving it to him hard. I think I tear him just a little, you know? There's blood trickling down my leg, so I know he's ripped open a little. So I reach around to jack the guy off a little bit, and he's got a hard on! I think that dude was a fucking faggot!

Tommy, would you like to see pictures of women with big titties?

WrestleMania has been cancelled due to the economy. Enigma failed to get that scoop.

Tommy are you writing a fucking novel?

Feedback: You're not a very good messageboard owner, and your comprehension skills are lacking at best.

For my final post, which will most likely be edited to death. Mike McKenzie fell for Leena's shit about how she could do a better job with this place and she has been wrongfully accused of so much. Using instances of bannings to show Mike that the current regime was getting rid of people, which had an effect on his precious traffic for this site. Mike did what he always did and pulled some shady shit by not allowing the guys to make their annual payment and letting Leena take over instead. Leena, the most notorious hacker of accounts this board has ever seen, just got all of our IP addresses, and had access to every poster's account while here. She now knows your email address as well. She got this for free. Mike, you're dumb as a bag of hair for allowing this to happen, and as a result, you lost about 170 of your top posters. Anyone dealing with you at the moment should run and hide if they don't want to throw money down the drain. You got what you deserved in the end, Mike!

Excellent theory. That makes the most sense.

A simple "no" would have done. In all seriousness, it's impossible to stay true to Kane's convoluted continuity. His history as a character has so many inconsistencies and twists that one of the only things that makes sense is his admission that he towed the company line to be more marketable. It is no longer breaking kayfabe to acknowledge using a stage name, unless you believe in your heart that Undertaker is really what that character was given as a name at birth. I'm not pretending this is the best idea on the planet, nor am I trying to win a job writing wrestling shows. However, what I wrote can reasonably be explained. "Kane" works for WWE, just like every other wrestler, and is marketed how the company thinks he will be the most profitable to them. His reluctance to follow what he feels is a lame direction for his character and walking away from wrestling instead does not mean that he is not Undertaker's brother. His return can be viewed one of two ways: 1) the guy that plays "Kane" really is a weird guy that acts as a leader of a cult-like group (there are tons of people who lead fantasy lives like this) or 2) the guy that plays the character of "Kane" finally returns to WWE because he agrees with the company on how he should be marketed and likes this new character. Again, at no point did I say he was not Undertaker's brother all along, wait yes he was. It's convoluted, sure. Does it make the most sense? Probably not. Is it better than the stale crap he is doing right now? Maybe. Either way, it's a fantasy booking idea on a wrestling forum. Next time, I'll do something that would be able to stand side by side with "Guest Booker with HTQ."

Well, originally I said he should wear it tot he ring and take it off to wrestle. It would have been the equivalent of a robe. For that little bit of fantasy booking back there, I just thought it would be a cool look for him. I do like to think that it would be a good way to finish his career to have the mask back on. Think of it as a retiring star going back to his old team just so he can retire in that jersey. The character of Kane needing the mask to feel normal is interesting to me. I thought that was where they were going before revealing he had Rey's mask in the bag.

I will be attacking those Reds tickets all year. Ms. Dandy's best friend was born and raised in Cincinnati, and I can stay with her for free and go to the weekend games ultra-cheap. The only thing that sucks is my newest job requires you to be there for one full year before you get any days off. I can not take a day until August 5th, which means the weekday games are out for the majority of the year.

Okay, it's a gimmick.

What are igloos like?

I mentioned my fantasy booking of Kane before, but I doubt re-treading it here will bring down the quality of this thread. Kane needs a break first. Give him six months off and have him slim down a bit and grow his hair back out. Before he leaves, he could cut a promo on how he doesnt have the heart to keep up this facade anymore. He admits that he has always known he was not disfigured or burned, and that he has been shaving his hair this way for the past several years just to play a character. He doesn't have the desire for it anymore, and he's going home. After a couple of months, a couple of wrestlers can debut. I would call them Minion and Lucipher, a tag team that cuts promos stating that they will unleash "Hell on Earth." They can say they do their master's bidding, and serve only him. Around 5 months after Kane has been gone, they say that their master is ready to come back. Rather than make cryptic promos about who their master is, they announce that it is indeed Kane. Each week, Kane's return is hyped up, and they say that it won't be the Kane that they remember, and everyone should prepare for his return. The night has come for Kane's debut, and he is brought out to the top of the ramp on a throne carried by druids while (face wrestler) is in the ring. He has medium length hair, his goatee is back, and he is wearing a black version of the mask he had last. He is wearing a dark robe and no glove. He sits on his throne glaring at the audience and his followers as his new music plays. He cuts a promo saying that he is ready to return due to finally being able to be himself. He says that his life has been full of torment, and he lives in his own personal Hell. However, he rules that Hell with an iron fist, and he unleashes that Hell on the WWE starting tonight. By raising a hand, Minion and Lucipher rise from their kneeling positions beside his throne and make their way to the ring. They get in the ring and fight with (face wrestler), who puts up a decent fight. He turns around into a Kane uppercut, however. Kane brings him to his feet and levels him with (new finishing move). Kane's followers take (face wrestler) backstage with them. The next week, that wrestler is re-christened as a follower of Kane (a la Undertaker's Ministry days). Kane cuts a promo and says that this may seem familiar, as his brother used to do something similar. He says that he and his brother have a lot of parallels in their wrestling careers. However, he has never won the big matches like his brother, and the one time that he lucked into the title in a First Blood match, he didn't possess it longer than 24 hours. However, his brand of Hell has him as the unquestioned ruler, and to rule in the wrestling world means you hold the championship. He will "convert" one of our beloved wrestlers one at a time until he is given his rightful shot at the title. Kane terrorizes the roster over the next few weeks, chokeslamming wrestlers from the ring to the floor, "breaking" their arms, and injuring people right and left. Kane's "conversion" hasn't brought anyone over to his side with the exception of that first wrestler. It's been more about wreaking havoc and clearing the path for the battle with the champ. The champ says he will fight Kane for the belt if it means he will stop the destruction. They have the match and Kane wins convincingly after proving to be much faster and more mobile than he was before, yet still being able to overpower his foe. He dominates toward the end of the match and hits his finisher for the win and the title. He holds the belt for several months while having a dominate reign and destroying everyone in his path. Undertaker has not crossed his brother's path during this time, but finally comes out when Kane is about to have another wrestler set on fire. Undertaker says he is the man that can end Kane's rule over his own personal Hell. Kane says that this was what he wanted all along. He wanted to come back and be not only as good as his brother, but better than his brother ever had been. He wants their fate decided by one final encounter, where the loser is gone from wrestling forever: Hell in a Cell retirement match. Personally, I would have Kane lose the match and be banished by Undertaker. At the next Wrestlemania, Taker finally loses and is getting beat down after the match just to cement even further the rub that the wrestler who ended his streak will get. Kane comes out for the save, he and Undertaker hug, and Taker announces that he is retiring from wrestling now that his streak has ended. Paul Bearer comes out with the urn, the lights go out, and when they come back, Kane and Taker are both gone.