sfaJack

Great news. They should have never signed Owens in the first place. For comedy's sake, I wish he'd end up in Cincinnati.

States I have urinated in: Arkansas California Colorado Florida Illinois Kansas Louisiana Maryland Massachusetts Mississippi Missouri Nebraska New Mexico Oregon South Dakota Texas Virginia Washington Washington DC Other states I've driven through: Alabama Iowa Oklahoma Countries I have urinated in: U.S. Mexico Netherlands Egypt Best Foreign Country: Egypt Worst Foreign Country: Mexico Best U.S. State: Washington. I really enjoyed Seattle, the capital in Olympia, and the subsequent drive down to Portland. Worst U.S. State: Nebraska. Absolutely nothing remarkable or memorable about my time there.

Jim Bowden quits while professing his innocence.

U.S. Department of the Treasury 1, Jack Household 0 ... Wow. What an asskicking this year.

Brooks Bollinger is an UFA.

What if they made the floor 75% of whatever the cap figure is?

Texans are said to be franchising Dunta Robinson today.

Roy is catching a bit of heat around town for these comments. It's actually very surprising as he's hailed as an infallible guy by Astro fans. I take it to be a big, flashing sign of just how weary fans are getting of all the steroid/PED talk.

Fuckin' bitch that's now sitting in the office across the hall from me. She's a loud-talker as it is, but she has to have EVERY goddamn phone call she makes/gets on the speakerphone with the volume maxed out. Plus, she's one of those social people that's more concerned with gossiping than working, so there are always a bunch of people loitering in her office...who are also talking. I gotta ask to move to the other end of the hall.

Class of 2009: Bruce Smith Rod Woodson Randall McDaniel Derrick Thomas Bob Hayes (it's about fucking time) Ralph Wilson Tagliabue apparently wasn't close again.

- "Great team chemistry" to explain why an average team is performing great; "Poor team chemistry" to describe a team with high expectations that is performing poorly - Saying a player is "great in the clutch" when there is no way to prove either what "the clutch" is or that the player excels in said clutch

The DTV transition delay failed in the House today:

This is true. I played on one of the worst high school baseball teams ever assembled. We routinely got beat 15-0, 22-1, 18-2...you get the idea. There were times it wasn't too much fun, but we didn't really give a fuck. Baseball was just something we did to keep busy and hang out with our buddies. It's not like any of us were going to play pro ball and had our chances at getting drafted blown out the door just because we couldn't stay within 15 runs of our opponents, so who gives a shit? Massive blowouts are extremely common in high school games across all sports. If we had to fire every coach every time it happened, there'd be no coaches left.

30 feels no different than 29. Big surprise. I'm still marching slowly towards the end. The good news at least is that I'm one year closer to 'Senior Citizen' status and all the various discounts and freebies that entitles one to. I stopped caring about my birthday 12 years ago. I figured once I turned 18 and became able to die for my country and blow all my money on lottery tickets, it was all downhill from there anyway, so why give a shit? sfaJill, on the other hand, loves birthdays. So at some point today, I will have to pick a restaurant so she can go buy me dinner, I'll have to pick a "fun activity" to do, and I'll have to open at least one present from her. In fact, we had this exchange last night: "Honey, I'm sorry. I think I gave you most of your birthday presents at Christmas." "So?" "Well, you're probably only going to have one to open tomorrow." "There's a 1% chance I'll give a shit." "I know, I know." (moment of silence) "Maybe I'll take you to Best Buy or somewhere like that and let you pick out something you want." "Yeah...maybe. I guess." ------------------------------ So why am I queerin' up TSM this morning? Because my in-laws have this insane tradition of calling their children (and now children-in-law) at 5:30 in the morning on their birthday and (terribly) singing Happy Birthday over the phone and now I can't get back to sleep. It's gonna be a great day. Neither of us were amused by this tradition this year, particularly since it was nearly 3 AM before we went to sleep. sfaJill even lectured her dad saying, "You're calling at 5:30 on a SATURDAY morning; of course I'm going to assume something is wrong." ------------------------------ It's the exact opposite with my dad. For YEARS he always got my brother's and my birthdays mixed up--he always thought mine was January 28 and my bro's was December 24 when if fact mine is January 24 and my bro's is December 28. Well, he called about 20 minutes ago and we had this conversation. It's funny to me; YMMV. Dad: "I was just calling because it's your birthday. Wait...it is the 24th right?" Me: (laughing)"Yes." Dad: "Well, alright." Me: "You didn't get us mixed up this year. What happened?" Dad: "I don't know. It's probably because Nicole (my sister-in-law) said something about it earlier this week."

I know, right? But the real question is, do I take her up on her offer and go pick what I want or do I just wait to see what she buys and cross my fingers that it's something that doesn't suck? Her record of "hitting" on gifts for me is spotty, and I don't usually have the heart to tell her that.

Geico Cavemen > that singing freecreditreport.com asshole

Thanks to low cubicle walls and the relative quiet of the early hours, I discovered this morning that one of my coworkers has My Humps as her ringtone. I muttered under my breath, "What, no Mambo No. 5?"

My heart was broken when Paxson made that three. That was the first season I ever paid any attention to the NBA and I was a major Dan Majerle fan for whatever reason. Probably cuz he was a white guy that could play. I don't know. Seeing him and his team lose to the Bulls like that was hurtful.

You know you’ve wasted too much time here over the years when you’re driving on the Westpark Tollway, pass a business named ‘Kinetic Furniture’ on your right, and immediately think of TSM. So my Dad and I attended the final tragedy game at Texas Stadium this past Saturday night. I think I've written before about how we held season tickets to the Cowboys for the last four years but declined to renew this season for a variety of reasons. Going forward, we figured that we would just pick a game or two each season and acquire tickets from the Internet, possibly even throwing in a road game every now and then (if I can ever convince my dad to get on an airplane). For this season, we figured why not go to the final game ever at Texas Stadium? Well, that, uh, didn’t turn out so well. A couple of notes: We thought it was weird that the final game was against the Ravens. How can the league NOT have the Cowboys play one of their long-time NFC East opponents in the final game at Texas Stadium? It’s crazy. Then it came out late Saturday night/early Sunday morning that Jerry Jones petitioned the NFL before the schedule was finalized last spring to have the Ravens be the opponent in the final game because he thought they were an easy win. Memo to Jerry: stop hand-picking opponents. You’re embarrassing yourself. First of all, if you’re going to pick a homecoming opponent this season, how in the hell did you not pick the Bengals? Or the 49ers. At least you have some history with them. Secondly, do you not remember the last time you picked your opponent? Also, Texas Stadium is a neat place in that the Cowboys have played there for 38 years and won their first of five Super Bowls in the year it opened, 1971. But let’s not kid ourselves. Other than the hole in the roof—so God can watch his favorite team play—and it being the first stadium built with public financing (the bonds sold for $6 apiece), there’s really nothing special about it. We’re not talking about closing down Lambeau or Soldier Field here. It’s not the most photogenic place and it just kind of sits there in the middle of a huge, ugly parking lot. The concourse is crowded, it can get really hot in there, I don’t think they’ve put a coat of paint on it since 1994, and if you sit in parts of the upper deck without binoculars you should have just saved your money and stayed home. So there’s no reason to get overly emotional about its demise. (Note: the ticket prices at the new stadium they’re building in Arlington though? THAT is something to cry about.) It was nice to see that they did put some effort into making the last game a big deal though. The Cowboys must have installed some new video boards in the offseason and replaced a few light bulbs because the place just looked a little brighter than usual and you could actually read all of the text displayed on the video boards without squinting. And it was nice to see them trot out a bunch of legendary Cowboy players during timeouts and whatnot, though to be honest, none of them said anything remotely interesting. I don’t think half of the crowd even knew who guys like Don Perkins and Lee Roy Jordan are. As for the game itself, well, what needs to be said? It was truly historic because no team in NFL history had ever had two touchdown runs of 75 yards or more in the same quarter until the Ravens did it to ice the game late. The Cowboys’ offense was terrible the entire game. We knew that was going to be the case because Tony Romo looked terrible in pregame warm-ups, missing most of his throws high. And the defense, after a hot first half, turned in a dog shit effort in the second, particularly in the fourth quarter. The two long runs made for an unfathomable way to lose a game and easily surpassed any other loss in the four seasons we had tickets, in terms of sheer lunacy. (The playoff loss last year to the Giants still ranks #1 on the “disappointing loss” list.) It was so ridiculous and aggravating that we didn’t even stick around for the “closing ceremonies” after the game. Apparently at least half of the crowd felt the same way. Watching local TV news the next morning, we found out that it probably wouldn’t have been worth staying for anyway. The newscasters were puzzled that so few decided to stay for that ceremony but, really, would you expect otherwise after the “effort” the Cowboys put forward? The worst part might be that, on the way home, Dad and I made our peace with the Cowboys’ 2008 season. The combination of injuries, talent regression, and often-poor coaching just added up to a “Not Their Year”. Losing to the Ravens was really damaging to their playoff chances, as it meant they couldn’t get in without a lot of help from other teams. And then Tampa lost to San Diego. And Philly lost to Washington. And, suddenly, the Cowboys are back in control of their own destiny. Win at Philly on Sunday, and all is forgiven. Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in… I just wish I knew which Cowboys team is going to show up in Philly.

Actually, Pittsburgh was #2 on our list of preferred road trips this season (behind Green Bay/Lambeau). But then the schedule came out and had the Cowboys there on Dec. 7...and Dad immediately ruled it out because it "will probably be cold as hell up there then." Turns out he was right. Would have been a stomach-punch game to go to anyway. I've started glancing at the 2009 MLB schedule to pick which ballparks I want to visit this next season. PNC is a strong possiblity, as part of what I'm hoping can be a Pitt/Detroit/Cleveland/(maybe) Cincy combination. If I make it up that way, I'll leave tickets at will call for you and Mrs. kkk if you want since I know you love your Pirates.

Oakland at Tampa (12.5) Detroit at Green Bay (9.5) Dallas at Philadelphia (1.5) N.Y. Giants at Minnesota (6.5) Chicago at Houston (2.5) (3.5) Carolina at New Orleans St. Louis at Atlanta (13.5) Kansas City at Cincinnati (3.5) Jacksonville at Baltimore (12.5) (3.5) Tennessee at Indianapolis Cleveland at Pittsburgh (10.5) Miami at N.Y. Jets (2.5) (6.5) New England at Buffalo Seattle at Arizona (6.5) Washington at San Francisco (3.5) Denver at San Diego (7.5) Browns get 10.

And...done.