JHawk

Why the fuck are we talking about the proper plural form of penis?

There was a player for the Mets that missed at least part of the playoffs in 1988 because he cut his finger trimming the hedges at his house. Bob Ojeda maybe?

I call copyright infringement. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Sorry Toxx, but my love of British comedy got in the way there. Hell, I had actually typed in "smegging hell" instead of "bloody hell", and I wanted to avoid dropping the F bomb, so....

The scene opens in Rome, Italy, outside the famed Roman Colosseum. Outside the remains of the legendary facility stands Jay Hawke, looking up at the building with total fascination. "The Roman Colosseum. Now this is where real men competed back in the day. Men who had to face and defeat lions just to survive for another day. Gladiators, they were called. And I'd say it's safe to say they earned that title." "See, those men didn't get any sort of say as to when they fought or what type of battle they fought. They were basically told, 'Hey, go out there and kill a couple of lions or get grounded into cat good'. And they did it while the men who put them out there watched from a safe distance in their version of a luxury box. Or they were the ones who killed the gladiators after they survived the lions. One hundred days at a time this went on. The real men fighting for survival, the cowards waiting for their opportunity." "And you, Arch Griffon, are a coward!" Gasp! "Let me get this straight. You spent a month in nothing but tag team matches, and got a shot at my title despite being on a losing streak in those tag team matches. Losses that you admitted were your responsibility." "You then get this mysterious title shot...and you LOST! You blew your shot! You got yourself disqualified. But because some two-bit rapper decided he liked you, you got a rematch. Never mind that Puff Daddy isn't a licensed wrestling promoter, nor is he on the SWF championship committee. But you know what? I'll give you some credit. The match was anything goes, and you beat me straight up. So at least I could say I respected you." "But then you did the unthinkable. While I had to wrestle two matches waiting for you to be 'available' for me to invoke my automatic rematch clause, you went into hiding. And you never saw me take a day off while I was champion. Maybe I didn't defend the title every time I wrestled, but I'd say three defenses in 29 days is a pretty good ratio, especially for a company that runs a show every fifth day, and especially when I was out there competing with some of the best wrestlers the sport has to offer. But did you prove to the world to be a fighting champion? No. Instead, you didn't bother to show up on Lockdown, and then even though I was told you were unavailable to compete on Smarkdown, you still showed up to cut a promo on me after I went tooth and nail with Insane Luchador for nearly twenty minutes. And to top it all off, you have the gall to tell me what the stipulations are." "WHO THE BLOODY HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?" "How dare you tell me what stipulation our match at 13th Hour is going to have? Especially the way you put it...you want a wrestling match where you ban 'restholds'? That for me to win, I have to teach you a wrestling lesson you'll never forget, and then you turn around and essentially ban anything remotely resembling a weardown hold? Did I ever try to tell you what stipulations our matches were going to be under? Did I ever try to ban power moves from a match?" "Oh, I can just see it now. I'll lock in a front facelock and get told it's a freaking resthold even though a front facelock is a standard amateur maneuver used to gain leverage." "But you know what, Griffon? If those are the rules you want to institute...then fine. As they say, when in Rome, do as the Romans do. This way, when I regain my title Sunday night, you'll have no excuses. I'll be the two-time International Champion, and you'll be begging Manson to team up with you for another shot at the tag team titles. And there's not a damn thing you can do about it." Jay Hawke begins to walk away, but he stops short and turns toward the camera. "Besides. I've always got an ace or two up my sleeve. Remember that." This time Jay Hawke does walk away as we fade out.

Just a note Arch, check the stats thread as I'm about to add a couple of moves to the permanent moveset.

You should apologize by buying a card from the store and giving it to her. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Sadly, when you work at retail you're basically taught to hassle the customer like that. I know at Circuit City we're taught that if the customer's still in your department at a few minutes to at least check on them and make sure they don't have questions. True story from working at Circuit City like two weeks ago. This lady came in looking casually at DVDs, and she had a small child in the seat of her cart (maybe three years old). I say "Hey, how are you doing" and let her be, because I'm of the mindset that if the customer has questions, they'll ask. About 15 minutes later, this lady is in essentially the same spot, so I ask her if she's finding everything alright. Her response is a rude "No. When I do, I'll let you know." Um...if you're not finding everything alright, why the fuck would you wait until you do to tell me about it? I kinda chuckled figuring she misunderstood the question and told my manager, who got a chuckle at it. Ten minutes later, this bitch is still in the same spot and another one of my co-workers heard her kid crying. Basically, the kid's been sitting in the cart for 25 minutes and is getting fucking bored. My co-worker walks over and goes, "Oh what a cute baby", and the lady's response is "GOOD!" Very loudly, very rudely. What the fuck? About this point, a customer asks for help in phones and I deal with that. I get done ringing that customer out, and my manager goes "The lady that misunderstood your question. Heavy set, white shirt, young child?" Yeah, why? Well, apparently she threw a hissy fit that I was stalking her, and when I finally left her alone, my co-worker began stalking her. OK, whatever. Had she just said "just looking" I would have left her be, but instead she stood in virtually the same spot for almost half an hour looking as confused as George W. Bush trying to figure out how to pronounce "holocaust". Oh, but it gets better. After telling my manager she'll never shop at Circuit City again, she decides to buy whatever DVD it took her half an hour to pick up anyway. So Rachel rings her out, says hi to her, and the lady starts yelling at her to stop staring at her before telling Rachel to kiss her ass because "you're a lowly cashier while I'm going to college to better myself." Never mind that Rachel's working as a cashier to make money for college. Basically, my manager got bitched out because we were doing our job, and I got lectured because of it. So I'd say my pet peeve is getting bitched at for doing my job.

Any chance on getting that fixed? Without that, the "View New Posts" link is pretty pointless.

Congratulations to Arch for beating me fair and square for the International Championship. I showed and everything, and he wrote one hell of a match. That doesn't mean I won't write a nasty promo for Lockdown though.

Chappelle's Show Season 2

And if the deal with WGN is officially announced, I'll probably never see TNA again, and neither will fans in markets like NYC and Boston. Please say Spike TV's picking up the slack here.

We had three merchandisers full of them at the Circuit City I work at (something like 195 copies) and had sold through maybe 30 or so when I left at 3pm. If only we'd had 195 copies of Season 1 on opening day...

Making sure for clarification's sake: The date listed is 5/28, which is Saturday. That means a Saturday deadline, right?

I understand he's had computer problems, but can we stop making Justice a marker until they get taken care of? Just kidding.

That was the kayfabed reason in the Aptermags at the time, at any rate.

They didn't. If they did, they were probably hoping we didn't notice. BTW guys, I'm actually posting on my lunch break now and won't get off work until the show's started, so don't expect a recap on the main site before tomorrow night.

Not necessarily true. Remember when everybody was getting sick of The Rock in 2002 (before leaving post-WrestleMania to film the movie). Gone two months, still sick of him. Gone again after SummerSlam, he returned six months later...as a heel no less...and everybody was wondering "How the hell did we last without this guy on TV?" Of course, The Rock is ten times more charismatic that Triple H, which might have a lot to do with it.

Then that was lazy booking. When they came in 6 months earlier they were using that as their tag team finisher but only behind the referee's back. Gorilla Monsoon used to get around it by claiming it was only illegal in some states. Illinois must have been one them, and by default, New Jersey wasn't.

The spike piledriver was deemed illegal. The Brain Busters often used it behind the referee's back in late 88-early 89 to score wins. That still doesn't explain why the illegal men would also be DQd (a question I had at the time as an 11-year-old mark).

It's not WWE, so the odds are at least better.

I'm a product specialist at Circuit City. Basically, I sell you shit you don't need andtry to convince to buy an extended warranty on it.

How sad is it that I know this is a joke post and yet I can still see it happening?

Oh fuck... Time to up the ante on this one.

Jay Hawke could be a player/manager and run things from left field. Scott Pretzler could be the guy that sits on press row and says which guys should be sent to the minors.

So let me get this straight: Mak Francis pins the International Champion, gets put into a grudge match. Arch Griffon loses one title match and gets awarded with another. I love SWF booking! Seriously, a great looking card.

Savage actually did an interview with Gene Okerlund during the PPV portion of the show (during the intermission), so he was there. No idea why he didn't wrestle that night, as I had him pegged as DiBiase's mystery partner.