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Tony and Lord Alfred are sitting at ringside for this much awaited event... ___________________ First match is the Young Stallions vs. Los Conquistadors. - The Conquistadors constant switching in and out is always nice. But I'm not interested in the match at all. It's an okay match, I just don't care. A Roma missile dropkick leads to the pinfall victory for the Young Stallions at 14:58. **. ___________________ Judy Martin vs. Rockin' Robin is teh fast forward time. Sorry. ___________________ Mr. Perfect vs. Ronnie Garvin is the next bout. - I've never seen Garvin so juiced up. Most everyone hit the juice real hard once they went up north, so I'm not surprised. Lots of chop trading and overselling. And chinlocks! - GARVIN STOMP. Yeah, that's lame. Perfect reverses a Garvin crossbody from the top for the win at 14:23. *1/2. Too much chinlocking. ___________________ Leaping Lanny Poffo read us a WrestleMania V promo...he's gone heel now! Got quite a bit of heat. ___________________ The Brainbusters vs. The Rockers is up... - Oh God, what a match this is going to be. Stereo dropkicks by the Rockers! After Arn's in for oh, about ten minutes, Tully tags in, and the Rockers give them stereo FIGURE-FOURS! - Tony calling a match with Tully and Arn involved is TOO NWA for me. Not that there's anything wrong with that. Jannetty's been in for a really long time. Once Shawn makes the tag and the Rockers go on a roll, Shawn hits a big splash from Marty's shoulders onto Tully, but Arn pulls the referee out. So, the Brainbusters get disqualified at 22:27. What a lengthy match. Good stuff, but lacking oomph. And a finish. I believe their match at MSG that's on the Shawn DVD was better. ***1/2. ___________________ The Brooklyn Brawler is set to face The Red Rooster. - Poor Terry Taylor. Brawler teased leaving, but, you know, he came back. Chinlocks are far too numerous in this bout, and seeing as the crowd didn't care in the first place, I don't blame the two for their use of them. Taylor wins with a backslide at 11:22. Yes, a backslide. *. ___________________ Bad News Brown vs. Hercules looks, um, strange. - Yeah, strange. Bad News would've been a good dude to use during the Attitude Era. Bad News uses weapons, like the bell and a wooden chair. Both men fly to the outside, that's a double countout at 6:04. Bad News dumped Hercules to the outside, but the chain scared Bad News away. Throwaway match. 1/2*. ___________________ The Rougeau Brothers and Dino Bravo w/Frenchy Martin are set to face Jim Duggan and the Bushwhackers. - All American Boys! Love that song. However, oh God, the Bushwhackers. Could've done without them. I hate these comedy matches, but this one has a lot more serious wrestling. Duggan cleans house, then hits Raymond with the 2x4, allowing Butch to pick up the pinfall victory at 11:35. 3/4*. ___________________ Big Bossman w/Slick is set to take on Hulk Hogan inside of a Steel Cage. - Great main. Fast action early, as Slick tosses Bossman a chain. Referee opened the door to check both guys after the chainshot, and Hogan's up at 9. Hogan can't get through the door, so he suplexes Bossman instead. Hogan hits Bossman with the chain, and he's busted wide open. You could see the marks from Bossman's bladejob earlier in the day. Quite clearly! Big legdrop, up the cage, but Slick's holding on tight to Hogan's leg. Hogan kicks him away, and crotches Bossman on the top. He takes Slick's handcuffs, handcuffs Bossman to the top rope, and Hogan goes over and out for the win at 9:17. Hogan hits Bossman with the ringbell and tosses Slick into the cage. Hogan poses in the ring, and the show's over. Their match earlier in the day at MSG was better. I remember it from an old Hulkamania video I rented at the old videostore a long time back. I could be mistaken, but I am 100% sure that match had a Hogan superplex from the top of the cage. This one was only ***. I don't know how they were able to run both MSG and Boston Garden in one day. Crazy. All the matches had the same winner, and in the case of Bad News/Hercules, the same double countout. ___________________ Rating: Good. Too much crud to wade through, but having two *** matches on a show from the 80's is a positive. Best Segment: I love cage matches. Rockers/Busters was better, but cage matches are my favorite. So the main event. AGAIN. Worst Segment: Bad News vs. Hercules really sucked. ___________________ ECW time next time. Living Dangerously 1999.

As I said, I didn't rate or review the matches from the house show posted at the beginning of the month. ___________________ Scott Casey vs. Tama is the first match, as Gorilla Monsoon and Lord Alfred Hayes are on commentary. - I'm not too excited about this match, so there's going to be an evident lack of words. Tama has rabies, cause he's foaming at the mouth. Literally! - A Tama splash off the second rope finishes things via pinfall at 11:24. 1/2* for a matchup in which little effort was put forth. ___________________ Tito Santana vs. Outlaw Ron Bass is next up... - Tito attacks at the start, and then we see a wild brawl. The floor is really dirty, as you can see by the color of Tito's back, which is black. Bass' piledriver was funny, because Tito's head never came close to the canvas. Like, a foot away. - We're going to the time limit. 19:49 is the end of the bout, after Tito knocks Bass to the floor with a flying forearm. We have a draw. Tito wanted 5 more minutes, but Bass said "no mas" and left. **1/2. Would've liked it more had there been a finish. ___________________ Velvet McIntyre is taking on Sensational Sherri for the Ladies' Title. - Sherri's entrance attire (cape and all) makes her look like a superhero. Just sayin'. - The match isn't very good, as I figured. That's too bad. We get to see a giant swing, which keeps me happy. While not good, this is better than Casey/Tama. Sherri pins McIntyre after a back suplex at 14:24. *. You read right, 14 minutes for a ladies match. It'll be easier to explain why as this continues. ___________________ Rick Martel vs. Haku w/Tama is right now... - But we've got a bit of an argument here. Tito Santana joins us because he's got a problem with Tama being at ringside. So, Tama wants that dumb Mexican to leave. However, the referee wants BOTH Tama and Santana to leave. They do. - Duke Doherty has joined us for commentary. Thankfully, he's nowhere near as bad as he was on that Houston show I reviewed a while back. - Tama hits Martel with a steel chair, allowing Haku to pick up the victory at 9:18. **. A stretcher comes out, but Martel leaves without using it. ___________________ Andre the Giant comes out, but doesn't get into the ring, because the fans were booing him. He then leaves. ___________________ The lumberjacks are out, and they consist of almost everyone with matches on the show. Ok, not almost everyone, but many of them. Those guys are...Tito Santana, the Islanders, George Steele, Junkyard Dog, Jose Estrada, Lanny Poffo, Ron Bass and Scott Casey. A jobberific roster to be sure, which explains how the ladies match and so many others ran/run so long. The match they're lumberjacking in is Ricky Steamboat vs. Honky Tonk Man w/Jimmy Hart for the Intercontinental Championship. - The entrances were during the commercial break, which sucks. This is a good excuse to have Santana fight with the Islanders. - Good stuff we have here. Steamboat goes for the end, but Jimmy Hart distracts the referee, so we don't have a pinfall. For some reason, George Steele came into the ring and counted the fall, so the referee's gotta send him out. While the referee is doing that, Steamboat hits Jimmy Hart, which leaves the megaphone in the ring. Honky waffles Steamboat with it, and we've got a victor via pinfall at 11:40. ***. After the bout, much like in most lumberjack matches, we've got a free for all. Noice. The o in that word was deliberate. Just say it out loud. ___________________ After Gorilla Monsoon interviews Duke Doherty and I wonder why, I suddenly remember that intermission is usually after the real main event. So, we've got a few of these. Next, with Superstar Billy Graham. I love his promo style. A terrible promo with Butch Reed and Slic follows... Last, Gorilla Monsoon is with the Junkyard Dog and George "the Animal" Steele. ___________________ Superstar Billy Graham vs. Butch Reed w/Slick is on... - Graham's body looks like Hogan's circa 2002. Not in a good way. He can't take a flat-back bump, so he shouldn't be wrestling. As a result, the match sucks. - Slick hits Graham with his cane, to end things at 8:58. -*. Both guys fight, until it gets broken up by Pat Patterson and Gorilla Monsoon. You read that last name right. On the way in, he elbowed Slick to the canvas. That was the only redeemable aspect of that situation. Both guys were DQ'd. ___________________ Lanny Poffo vs. Jose Estrada is next...I fastforwarded. Poffo won. ___________________ Our main event is...Demolition vs. The Junkyard Dog and George "the Animal" Steele. - Ok, this is really going to suck. We all know it. - The match could not possibly be slower. Steele hits Smash with a chair, getting his team disqualified at 6:10. At least it was short. DUD. ___________________ Rating: Bad. Too many DUD'y matches. Best Segment: Steamboat/Honky Worst Segment: Graham vs. Reed. ___________________ You see, this was the WWF's "B" roster. The "C" roster's show on the same day was headlined by...Paul Orndorff vs. Harley Race, and Jake Roberts vs. King Kong Bundy. The "A" roster's show had matches like Ted DiBiase vs. Davey Boy Smith, The Hart Foundation vs. Kamala and Sika, and Hulk Hogan vs. Killer Khan. The roster was in need of strengthening. Thankfully, that would come soon after, with guys moving up the card, people like Rick Rude coming in, etc... No Way Out 2008 review will be up before or on Tuesday.

First up, we have the WWF from Los Angeles, CA; a house show that took place on 8/13/1988. ___________________ Gorilla Monsoon and Superstar Billy Graham are on commentary, FWIW. Anyway, the first match is Sam Houston vs. Black Jack. - I don't know who Black Jack is, and there are so many people that share a variation of the name that it's quite hard to search. Yeah, Jack is wearing a mask, if you couldn't tell from my comments. - Houston bulldog, pinfall victory at 5:48. Finish came out of nowhere, but in this case, that's good. The less Sam Houston, the better. *. ___________________ Next up is Barry Horowitz vs. The Blue Angel. - Guess who the Blue Angel is. Well, I'll just tell you, it's Owen Hart. Obviously, Owen is awesome. That word also describes this match. - An Owen moonsault finishes the match after 14:35 of great, fast-paced action. ***1/2, and a bout that should definitely have been shown on television at some point. Or on Coliseum Video. ___________________ The Bolsheviks vs. The Powers of Pain is our third match... - Good, the Bolsheviks sung the Soviet National Anthem. Very good. When the Powers ran in to prevent that, they got a huge pop. They're pretty over. - Superstar is such a bad commentator, but at least the Powers won, after a flying headbutt off the top from Barbarian onto Zhukov at 9:02. *1/2, could've been so much worse, but thankfully for my sake, it wasn't. ___________________ Curt Hennig vs. SD Jones is up, and hey, Jesse Ventura has joined the team for commentary. That's swell! - Hennig isn't perfect, yet. This match shows that fact quite well. Match is far, far too long, and Hennig wins with a clothesline at 13:05. *, at best. Only because I like Hennig. ___________________ Andre the Giant w/Bobby Heenan vs. Randy Savage w/Elizabeth for the WWF Championship is our semi-main event. - Bobby was forced out of the ring area by police and security...good. This one is very much like their Saturday Night Main Event match that I reviewed, save for one thing. There's a bit more offense from Savage, but that's it. I nearly forgot to mention that Jesse Ventura is now off commentary...yeah. - Savage's FLYING ELBOW doesn't get the win, and after a bit of fighting, Andre grabs Elizabeth by the ankle, leading to a double countout at 10:24. 1/2*. Andre has the belt, but it isn't his. He really shouldn't be in the ring at this point, but hey, that's not my decision. ___________________ Obviously it's intermission time, as we see a pre-taped interview with Ravishing Rick Rude. Gorilla better watch it, you see. Now Gorilla's with the Fabulous Rougeau Brothers, who are soon to announce their place of residence, which is of course, in the good ol' USA! ___________________ I suppose it's a good thing that we have the Fabulous Rougeau's taking on the Hart Foundation. - Of course it is! Well, it isn't that great, but it's still good. Kinda mailed in, though. After Bret gives Jacques a piledriver, Raymond jumps onto Bret from the 2nd rope, allowing Jacques to regain his composure and pick up the pinfall victory at 17:41. **3/4, but it was definitely nothing special. ___________________ Randy Savage makes his way to the ring, because he's got a message for Andre the Giant. He's signed an open contract, anytime, anywhere. He's gonna kick his ASS! Direct quote on that last one. ___________________ The main event on this show is Rick Rude vs. Jake Roberts. - The reason Bobby Heenan isn't there is quite simple. He was kicked out of the building. Jake's gonna kick Rude's ass too, or so he says. I love the PG-13 vibe being given off here...the WWF could've used a few "ass kickings" here and there. - Very slow, just like most of these matches. I approve of the wrestlers trying to go easy on their bodies. Anyway, Rude tries to slam Jake into the ring, and Jake grabs the top rope for leverage, allowing Jake to win by pinfall at 13:27. **, end of the show. ___________________ Rating: Ah, good. Good for a house show, which is good enough for me. Best segment was definitely Horowitz vs. Owen, and the worst was Andre/Savage. That match was just too long. ___________________ Now, from Madison Square Garden on October 20th, 1986...Gorilla Monsoon, Gene Okerlund, and Lord Alfred Hayes are on commentary. ___________________ Brutus Beefcake vs. B. Brian Blair is the first matchup. - Was this match determined via alphabetizing the roster? It's not that bad, but like most matches involving Beefcake, he just doesn't do anything. At 10:17, he reverses a Blair crossbody, into a pinfall of his own for the victory. *3/4. ___________________ Moondog Rex vs. Tama is next up... - I thought now would be a good time to mention that every match is a singles match, featuring participants in the battle royal which will take place later on. I didn't know the Islanders were babyfaces... - I love that spot where a guy's tied up, other guy charges at him, guy unties himself, and other guy flies through the rope. Thought I'd point that out. Anyway, a Tama crossbody off the top gives him the win at 8:17. ** for a decent affair. ___________________ Next, we have King Kong Bundy taking on Super Machine. - Definitely hoss-tastic, but Bundy wins after the AVALANCHE at 3:18. Short, sweet, and to the point. *1/2. ___________________ Jim Neidhart vs. Dynamite Kid w/Matilda is now... - Matilda = the bulldog. Simple, yes? - Dynamite's so good, it's really a shame that he wrecked his body. But he wins the match, after a roll-up at 5:50. **1/2. Match was very fun. ___________________ Koko B. Ware comes out to show everyone his bird...ha. Now the Iron Sheik is facing Jacques Rougeau. - Of all the matchups on the show, this one is definitely the strangest. The match sucks, though. Jacques wins by pinfall thanks to a sunset flip, at 7:30. *. ___________________ Time for Piper's Pit...even though he's being cheered, he says he's still a no good sonofabitch. Adrian Adonis is a fag, you see. Now he wants Bobby Heenan and Paul Orndorff to come out. Heenan does, and they talk about the World Series. Piper likes the Mets, Heenan doesn't. Now Paul Orndorff enters, to Hulk Hogan's music. Much heat for that. Piper says that Orndorff definitely couldn't find a tag team partner for a match, and after a few minutes, he's thought of one. It's Harley Race! Roddy Piper calls Vladimir (you know, the fan who always wears a Piper shirt) onto the ring apron, and his idea of a partner for Piper is...Hulk Hogan! So yeah, that's the main event for next month, Orndorff and Race vs. Piper and Hogan. ___________________ Jim Brunzell vs. Mike Rotundo is, uh, right now! - I thought Rotundo was gone by this point, but apparently I was wrong. This match is super, super slow. They're doing a bunch of amateur wrestling, but the crowd doesn't care, and neither do I. Double countout is the end, at 9:10. *. ___________________ Greg Valentine vs. Davey Boy Smith w/Matilda is definitely the best matchup thus far... - This should be good. Valentine's legwork is unique, at least compared to what I see now in the WWE. - Davey does a SHARPSHOOTER, but Valentine pins him after using the top rope for leverage at 13:00. **3/4. ___________________ Moondog Spot vs. SD Jones is a definite fast-forward. I don't even care enough to look and see who won. ___________________ Haku vs. Nikolai Volkoff... - Volkoff sings, Haku attacks. This card is just too damn long, not only that, there's a reason all of these guys are in tag teams. Moving forward, Volkoff misses a charge to the corner, and Haku rolls him up for 3 at 4:51. 1/2*. ___________________ Raymond Rougeau vs. Bret Hart is the last singles match, thankfully. - Once again, there is a reason some of these guys are in tag teams. In the case of Rougeau, that much is certain. Bret grabs the tights, puts his feet on the ropes, and wins by pinfall at 8:32. **. ___________________ Now, we finally have the 50,000 dollar BATTLE ROYAL. The participants are....The Moondogs, SD Jones and Mike Rotundo, The Hart Foundation, King Kong Bundy and Big John Studd, The Machines, The Dream Team, The Rougeau Brothers, The British Bulldogs, The Islanders, The Killer Bees, The Iron Sheik and Nikolai Volkoff, and lastly, we have Steve Gatorwolf and Chief Jay Strongbow. When one member of the team is eliminated, the other must also leave. - Moondogs gone first - SD Jones gone, so his partner must follow - A bunch of people tossed Strongbow, so Gatorwolf must leave - A Machine dumps the Iron Sheik, to a big pop - Bret Hart and the Dynamite Kid take each other out...aw, damn - Beefcake gets rid of Jim Brunzell - Studd gets rid of Jacques Rougeau - A Machine backdrops Beefcake to the outside - Bundy clotheslines a Machine out, so now, we're down to The Islanders vs. Bundy and Studd. Bundy charged at an Islander, who ducked, so Bundy knocked Studd out of the ring with a clothesline at 10:34. The Islanders get all the loot. Saw that finish coming, and it was a bad battle royal. 4/10. ___________________ This show was really bad. I wish I hadn't even watched it. Best part was Valentine vs. Davey Boy, and the worst was the Battle Royal. I can't describe to you how useless this show was. ___________________ Royal Rumble '08 review next, we'll see when I put it up. I don't know yet.

First on this house show run, is 3/16/86 from Madison Square Garden. ___________________ Gorilla Monsoon and Jesse Ventura are on commentary, thankfully. Lord Alfred Hayes doing this wouldn't have been best. The first contest is Sivi Afi vs. Moondog Spot. - Afi wearing Snuka type trunks makes this a little confusing. Too confusing for me, anyway. Crossbody off the top gives Afi the pinfall victory at 7:07. **. ___________________ Hercules Hernandez w/Freddie Blassie is now facing George Wells. - Wells is a bland personality, but he can wrestle. And that's good enough for me. - Hercules has this Brody thing going on with his hair, me no like. Anyway, after a missed Wells charge to the corner, Hercules covers him for 3, at 4:15. Something about that ending just didn't feel right. 1/2*. ___________________ The next match is a special ladies tag match featuring wrestlers from Japan, those two being Dump Matsumoto and Bull Nakano, who are taking on Linda Gonzales and Velvet McIntyre. - Nakano looks much smaller than she did during her run in the WWF in 1995. Much. Can't say that her partner's small, I'm afraid. - Ventura and Monsoon are much more cordial than they usually are, which is a strange thing to hear. At least for me, it is. The referee is terrible. I don't know how to explain what he's doing wrong, but you know, when teams make those false tags that the referee doesn't see? Well, he's looking right at them, every time. - Dump gives Gonzales an airplane spin and a big splash, getting the pinfall victory at 10:02. *1/2. Too weird. ___________________ Pedro Morales vs. Cowboy Bob Orton is up next... - Orton is really good, you know. Pedro, not so much, IMO. There's table usage which is definitely for the best, but nobody actually goes through them. Orton lifts Pedro up for a suplex, and crotches him along the top rope instead, which somehow gets a disqualification at 9:20. Since when is that a DQ? Anyway, both men fight after the match, and Pedro gets the best. More ** stuff. ___________________ Magnificent Muraco w/Mr. Fuji vs. King Tonga is on, now. - It's kinda weird to see Muraco facing Haku. I don't really know why, it just is. - Tonga wanted to give Muraco a handshake, but Muraco spit at him. Oh, gee. Jesse Ventura wonders how Adrian Adonis would "get over" where Uncle Elmer comes from. Hopefully I'm not the only one who found him saying that a bit odd. Muraco hits Tonga with Fuji's cane for the victory at 8:09, after a less than remarkable affair. *3/4. ___________________ There's another ladies tag, this time featuring Lioness Asuka and Chigusa Nagoya, who are facing Penny Mitchell and Leilani Kai. - These two ladies from Japan really don't look like ladies. They look like little boys. This match is kinda boring, although to be fair, I don't even remember why. That's just what I had on my paper. Asuka gives Mitchell a crossbody for 3 at 7:05. **. ___________________ The next match is Hillbilly Jim vs. King Kong Bundy w/Bobby Heenan. - Oh no. It was bad enough at WrestleMania III when they tagged up with a few midgets, but this? Honestly, I hardly even paid attention. AVALANCHE and BIG SPLASH give Bundy the pinfall victory at 6:14. 1/4*. ___________________ Mr. Fuji vs. Ricky Steamboat... - I have no idea what this one's about. It's always nice to watch a favorite, in this case of course, being Steamboat. When Fuji's wearing his suit, you couldn't tell that he weighed as much as he did. - Fuji's selling is comical. An audible "oh shit" slips out when Steamboat applies an armbar.... - There's a criss-cross, Fuji stops, Steamboat crossbody, pinfall at 6:10. *. ___________________ Making his Madison Square Garden debut, it's JAKE THE SNAKE ROBERTS, who's taking on Lanny Poffo. - Another favorite. Yeah, boy. While not the best of wrestlers, Jake is another favorite too. When he was talking about titles on his DVD, and how he was so over that he didn't really need a title or something like that, I disagree. Obviously he never would've held a title because of his drug problems, but holding a title would've pushed him to the next stratosphere, that being main event contention. His lack of wrestling skill is un-important. The guy could talk, and if you could talk, well.... - Lanny botches a plancha attempt, and wow, he could've killed himself. He took a header for sure. DDT finishes things up, giving Jake the pinfall at 6:47. Damien comes out and molests Poffo, as Poffo looks like he's ready to bail out of the ring at a moment's notice. *1/4 for the match, which was less than spectacular. ___________________ Gorilla Monsoon is with Randy Savage, the Intercontinental Champion. He has words for this beaner named Tito Santana. Yes, he really called Tito a beaner. Obviously, Tito Santana and Randy Savage are going to have a match for the Intercontinental Title. Obviously. Blow-by-blow: I love Savage. You already know that. Tito chases Savage out of the ring, and when Savage tries to make his re-entrance, Tito does the same one more time. Tito catches up to Savage, and tosses him into the guardrail, thankfully. I hate when those chase segments end up with the babyface foolishly chasing the heel in the ring, only to be beaten down. It's stupid. Tito brings Savage back in, and quickly atomic drops him, sending him over the top rope. Back in for a 10 punch, until Macho rakes the eyes. Inverted atomic drop from Savage follows, and a running elbow does too, for a 2 count. Tito gives Savage a kneebreaker, but on the FIGURE-FOUR attempt, Macho tosses Tito out. Savage goes to the top and down to the floor with BOMBS AWAY, then rams Tito into the guardrail. Savage gives Tito a clothesline for 2, and after a scoop slam, Savage goes up top. FLYING ELBOW misses though, and Tito gives Savage a kneelift. A backdrop follows, and so does a FIGURE-FOUR attempt, but Savage rakes the eyes to prevent that. Savage bails out and feigns injury, which suckers Tito in closer, only to be rammed into the guardrail. In and Tito gives Savage the FLYING JALAPENO, but no cover. That isn't his special move. The FIGURE-FOUR LEGLOCK is, and when going for that, Savage pulls the official into Tito so that he'll be DQ'd, at 9:29. Match Analysis: I reviewed this because the clipped version was on the Savage and Liz Coliseum Video, so, yeah, that explains everything. These two had better, though. ***1/4. ___________________ Gorilla Monsoon is with the Haiti Kid, seeing as he has a match next. He's not happy that Roddy Piper cut his hair, not at all. All because he's a friend of Mr. T. Howard Finkel runs down the entire lineup for WrestleMania 2...yes, this is long. And I watched all of it. ___________________ Haiti Kid vs. Dana Carpenter is next...I absolutely do not review midget matches. I don't watch them, either. ___________________ The Dream Team (WWF Tag Champs) and Johnny V are taking on The British Bulldogs and Captain Lou Albano, in the last match on the card. - Weird, isn't it. Half this match is good. The other...not so much. Figure out which is which. This referee has been in other matches (the one who sees the un-intended tags)...he's probably the worst I've seen. - Brawl, Dynamite rolls up Beefcake (who wasn't legal) for the victory at 13:11. **1/4. ___________________ That finishes the show. Good show, best was the IC Title Match, and the worst was Jim vs. Bundy. Now, to HOUSTON, for the show that took place on my birthday, 12/10/1987. It's kinda weird to be watching a show that took place on the exact day that I was born. ___________________ Sam Houston vs. Dusty Wolfe is the first matchup. - What is this entrance. Houston has terrible music, and a terrible dance. Geez. After checking, the dub is better than the original. Bruce Pritchard, Mike McGuirk and Pete Doherty are on commentary. The less said about those three, the better. - Houston's wearing a speedo...who the fuck knows why. Big mistake in the corner (by that I mean bungled finish), but Houston gives Wolfe a bulldog anyway for the victory at 8:38. I don't like Houston, and yes, this sucked. *. ___________________ Our next contest is Hercules vs. the Junkyard Dog. - JYD is done, physically. So this should suck too. Of course wrestling is fake, but these two take it to the point where my dad starts laughing at how bad it looks. MY DAD. - This is so rotten, I'll just save words and bring us to the end. Hercules pins JYD with his feet on the ropes after a punch for the win at 8:15. Ew. DUD. ___________________ Brady Boone and Billy Jack Haynes are taking on Demolition w/Mr. Fuji. - Boone is a sub for Ken Patera. Thank goodness. Really glad to see Demolition here. This match has no problem holding my interest, obviously. Not a whole lot to say, though. Smash hotshots Boone for the victory at 10:32. **. ___________________ Rick Rude vs. Paul Orndorff is on, now. - Funny how some of the men in the crowd take pictures of Rude when Rude does his whole robe routine. Bunch of homos. - This match was better than you'd figure, until Rude went to the NERVEHOLD. I'm talking ***1/2 type good. Anyway, the match slowed down too much, and Rude pinned Orndorff while using the ropes as leverage at 9:00. **1/2 for a good match. ___________________ Next up is Brutus Beefcake vs. the ONE MAN GANG w/Slick. - No, not Brutus. Please no. The commentary is so damn funny. Bad, but funny. To be completely honest, this match is just a whole bunch of punching. The fans like it, but I do not. Slick distracts Beefcake, Gang gives him a big elbowdrop, and pins Beefcake at 9:19. 1/4* for what I thought was a pile of junk. After the match, Gang tries to cut Beefcake's hair. He can't, though. ___________________ The Hart Foundation vs. Strike Force is our WWF Tag Team Title match. - Doesn't this sound like a match that would be on Coliseum Video? Does to me. You know, the Foundation lost the titles to these two, explaining this match much better than I can. Match was unformula for a while, then we revert to formula, which is great anyway. - Martel tags in, and you know how you can tell when the workers hold the crowd in the palm of their hands? This is one of those times. During the BOSTON CRAB, Neidhart clocks Martel with one of the tag belts for the DQ, at 16:20. Aw, man. ***1/2. One of those matches you need to watch, although without 24/7, you'd never be able to watch it. There's a few of those. ___________________ The ULTIMATE WARRIOR is facing Iron Mike Sharpe in a singles bout... - Yeah, larfs all around for this one. Warrior's facepaint was coming off after 30 seconds. You see, those are the things I notice. And when writing one of these short things, I want to write about things like that. - 5:31 is just too long a match for these two. Gorilla press gives Warrior the victory. 1/2*. ___________________ Ron Bass takes on Ricky Steamboat...interesting. - Unfortunately, the match really isn't that interesting. Or entertaining. Steamboat wins after a crossbody at 9:35. *1/2, my favorite rating. ___________________ I don't really know why this match is here, but Greg Valentine is facing Ken Johnson. - Like I said, this is weird. For some reason, Valentine looks funny. Maybe it's his tan. It's a squash, obviously. Valentine's FIGURE-FOUR gets the submission at 3:03. ___________________ The last match on the card is a good one, that being Ted DiBiase w/Virgil and Andre the Giant vs. Hulk Hogan for the World Wrestling Federation Championship. - DiBiase is billed as being from Bel Air, California. Good decision. This is a great matchup for any show, much less a house show. Hogan really wants to fight Andre, but Andre doesn't want to get in the ring. But he DOES get involved, by tripping Hogan. Ooooo. - The match gets stopped, because Andre has to leave. After the announcement, the match restarts. HULKIN' UP TIME BROTHER, but after the big boot, Virgil gets on the apron. DiBiase hits Virgil on accident, and Hogan rolls up DiBiase for the victory at 9:30 That was a somewhat unformula Hogan finish. **1/2. Hogan poses to end the show, as you'd figure. ___________________ Show was good by my standards, especially for a regular house show. Best match was definitely the Hart Foundation vs. Strike Force, and the worst was Hercules vs. JYD. ___________________ I'm not going to review the MSG show from 1977. For one, when I watch shows that old, my attention span is such that I can't watch all of it at once. Second, I don't think many of you care about that anyway, and for this one in particular, nothing sticks out as a WOW, I MUST WATCH THIS type thing. ___________________ I'll post an Armaggedon review around this time next week, I bet. My dad's sisters are coming for a few days, and I have to keep up two facades. One, that I don't like wrestling. Two, that I'm not on the computer as much as I really am. I haven't seen one of my dad's sisters in shit, at least 15 years. So I've got a lot of talking to do.

I looked on thehistoryofwwe.com, and saw that this card looked pretty good. So, here. Gorilla Monsoon and Lord Alfred Hayes are on commentary. ___________________ The first match is Koko B. Ware vs. Black Bart...for whatever reason, I haven't seen Bart in the WWF before. Frankie, Koko's parrot, comes along with him. Blow-by-blow: We start things up with a lock-up, and Bart attempts to knock Koko's head off with a punch, but misses. Koko takes Bart over with an armwringer, but Bart reaches the ropes. Koko applies a hammerlock, but again, Bart gets the ropes. Koko gives Bart two hiptosses and a dropkick, so Bart bails out of the ring. Bart wants a TEST OF STRENGTH, Koko complies, and in doing so, after winning the test of strength, steps on Bart's hand. Koko dropkicks him, but after a few right hands, Bart chokes Koko with his boot. Bart tosses Koko onto the top prope for 2, and applies the CHINLOCK. Bart gives Koko a knee to the gut for 2, and reapplies the CHINLOCK. Koko punches Bart in the head, and both men go down. Bart with a bodyslam, but he misses an elbowdrop. Koko can't slam him, and Bart falls on top for a 2 count. Bart misses a charge into the corner, and they begin the ending sequence. Koko gets a roll-up for a 2 count, and a suplex for 2. Then, Koko gets a small package for 2, but afterwards, Bart chokes him. He scratches Koko on the back, and Koko delivers a running headbutt to Bart. Koko with a missile dropkick and he gets a BRAINBUSTER for 3, at 10:08. Match Analysis: I always thought the Ghostbuster was like an X-Factor, but a BRAINBUSTER? Wish I had known that before. Anyway, the match was **. Solid opener, probably as good as it could have been. ___________________ Next up, we have The Warlord vs. Jimmy "SUPERFLY" Snuka. I don't care for Jimmy's music. To make a simple observation, Snuka's fall from 1983 to 1990 was a hard one. From steel cages with Don Muraco to opening with the Warlord. Damn, he was 47 at this point. That's hard to believe, even though it's the truth. Explains a lot... Blow-by-blow: Warlord attacks Snuka from behind, then chokes him, as the bell rings. Snuka's offense consists of chops and headbutts, just so you know what you're in for. That's what he does, and he also tries a crossbody here. He can't get that, as he's caught and slammed to the canvas by the Warlord. Warlord misses an elbowdrop, so Snuka headbutts him. Snuka brings the action toward the corner, and chops Warlord in the neck a few times. Unfortunately for Snuka, Warlord gives him an inverted atomic drop. THE SUPERFLY gets clotheslined, and choked by the Warlord. Warlord follows that with a boot to the head of Snuka that knocks Snuka out of the ring; Warlord joins Snuka on the outside and slams Snuka into the ringpost. Warlord suplexes Snuka back into the ring, and gives him an elbowdrop, which gets a 2 count. Warlord gives Snuka a bearhug, a move that will certainly affect my enjoyment of this match. It was going swell, until that. Anyhow, Snuka headbutts Warlord in order to break the hold, and gives him a headbutt off the top rope for 2. Standing headbutt, not diving. Snuka with more chops and headbutts, but Warlord catches him off an irish whip and hotshots him. Warlord chokes Snuka along the top rope at 8:29, and gets disqualified because he won't break the hold. That's one of the lamest finishes, ever. Anyway, Snuka chops Warlord out of the ring after the match. The end. Match Analysis: That was probably one of the best one-on-one matches the Warlord has ever had. No, I'm not kidding, as it's surely the best one I'VE seen. *1/4. After all that, the Gobbledygooker comes out and struts around ringside, after which he does a dosey-do with Howard Finkel. Ugh. ___________________ Here's what I was watching the show for, The Rockers vs. Power and Glory. Blow-by-blow: Hercules is swinging the CHAIN in the ring, but one of the Rockers distracts him by attacking Roma, and it's on like Donkey Kong. The Rockers get the best of the brawl after a double superkick, and after Roma and Hercules huddle up, Roma starts the match with Jannetty. Roma rams Marty's head into the buckle, then Irish whips Marty into the ropes, at which point Marty tries a sunset flip. Roma tries to punch Marty, but misses, so his hand hits the canvas. Marty works his way around Roma, and tags Shawn. Shawn gives Roma an inverted atomic drop, then goes toward the turnbuckle for the 10 punch. Hercules tries to sneak up behind Shawn, but Shawn leaps off Roma and gives Hercules a crossbody. That was cool. Marty slingshots Shawn into both heels, and after they double superkick both heels, Power and Glory bail to the outside. The Rockers get booed a little, this being Madison Square Garden and all. Hercules comes in quickly with a clothesline, and kicks Shawn in the head. Power and Glory double team Shawn with the ref distracted, and afterwards while Shawn is running the ropes, Roma trips him. The heels double team Shawn again, then Hercules gives Shawn an elbow to the head. Roma beats up Shawn with the referee distracted, then Hercules misses a charge toward the corner. Marty tags in, and comes off the top rope with a double axhandle. Shawn tags in and does the same, and Hercules receives a double back elbow from the Rockers. Marty rams Herc's face into the canvas, then takes him over with an armdrag. Marty applies a short-arm scissor, as the Rockers begin to work over the arms of both their opponents. They armdrag Roma and Hercules a whole bunch, and after the last armdrag of that sequence, Shawn tags in as Marty gives Roma a droptoehold, and Shawn gives him an elbowdrop for 2. Shawn with another armdrag as he tags in Marty, and they both work over Roma's arm, then chop him. Marty with the last armdrag of the match, and as Marty runs the ropes a bit after, Hercules clobbers him in the back of his head. Hercules tags in and rams Marty's head into the turnbuckle, then gives Roma a turn at doing the same. He can't though, and Marty clotheslines him while coming out of the corner. Shawn tags in, and gives Roma a back elbow. While running the ropes, Hercules pulls down the top rope, which sends Shawn to the outside. I've noticed that Power and Glory are both fond of those sorts of spots. Roma rams Shawn's back into the apron after Hercules distracts the referee, and for whatever reason, the crowd isn't particularly fond of this match. I don't know why, it's really good. Roma gives Shawn a bodyslam outside the ring, then on the inside, Hercules whips Shawn into the buckle, and Shawn goes upside down. Hercules poses, and then gives Shawn a bearhug. Shawn won't quit, but Herc brings him toward his corner. Guess he wants to beat him into submission, harharhar. Hercules sets Shawn on the top rope for either a superplex or POWERPLEX, but as he goes up, the 2nd rope breaks. Dunno whether that was intentional or not. It's BIZAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRE. Hot tag Marty, and Marty gives Roma a back elbow and kneelift. Roma misses a charge toward Marty, and a Marty clothesline gets 2. Hercules tosses Shawn out, and Marty gives Hercules a small package. Roma turns it over to put Herc on top, and then Shawn does the same to put Marty on top. The Rockers get a 2 count, then double slam Hercules. The Rockers get a ROCKET LAUNCHER, but during the count, the bell rings, at 21:16. It's a timelimit draw. Boo. Both teams fight after the bell, but Power and Glory retreat. They throw a few chairs into the ring, but the Rockers avoid them, then sit down in them Match Analysis: Very, very good. Not as good as Rockers/Orient Express from Rumble '91, but still good. ***1/4, and I added a 1/4 because the rope fell off. Just because I can, and it was definitely good enough to warrant it. The fans should have been ashamed, there was little pop for a very good match. ___________________ Here's a pissbreak match, Greg Valentine w/Jimmy Hart vs. Saba Simba. HEY, THAT'S TONY ATLAS! Blow-by-blow: What fool wouldn't know it was Tony in the first place? I think the internet rumor about that being the reason Saba Simba didn't last long is bunk. Atlas is one of the worst wrestlers I've ever seen. Anyway, Simba pushes Valentine to the canvas, and armdrags him. Valentine chops Simba, but misses an elbowdrop. Simba chops back, and gives Valentine an UGLY heel kick. It was like Booker T's scissor kick, but Atlas just tapped Valentine with his heel and didn't go to the canvas. Awful. Valentine bails to the outside, and back inside, applies a chinlock. Simba gives Valentine a shoulderblock, but afterwards, is dumped to the outside. Simba comes back in the ring quickly, and clotheslines Valentine. The Hammer regains control, and works on Simba's leg. He tries to slam Simba, but can't. Simba is already blown up, 5 minutes in, if that at all. Just terrible. Valentine goes to a sloppy bow-and-arrow, which confirms my suspicion. Simba is just lying there. Valentine goes for the figure-four, but Simba kicks him away. Out of respect for Atlas, I call him Simba. It's easier to type than Atlas, for some reason. Valentine gives Simba an elbow, and a fistdrop for 2. Simba chops Valentine, then rams his head into 3 turnbuckles. Valentine gets headbutted, and after the two combatants lock up, Valentine pushes the referee for some reason. So, Simba wins by DQ, at 8:28. Valentine holds Simba in place for Jimmy Hart to hit Simba with the guitar, but instead, he hits Valentine on accident. I think Valentine was bleeding before the guitar shot, but anyhow...Valentine's pissed off. Hart begs Greg not to hit him, then runs away. This was probably the loudest part of the entire show. Match Analysis: Awful. -1/2*. I almost started crying. Like I said, Atlas is one of the worst wrestlers I've ever seen. Valentine could have had a better match with El Gigante. ___________________ It's Hulk Hogan and Tugboat against Earthquake and Dino Bravo w/Jimmy Hart. I don't know why they had to bring Tugboat and Bravo into the mix during the Hogan/Quake program, but anyway. I hated Bravo, and still can't stand watching him. Blow-by-blow: Hogan and Bravo start the match, and they both push each other into the corner. Hogan gets a backdrop and atomic drop, then both Hogan and Tugboat beat Bravo up. Tugboat tags in, and the babyfaces give Bravo a double back elbow. Hogan tags in, with a double axhandle off the top rope. He gives Bravo a rake to the eyes, and rams him into the buckle, tagging Tugboat in. Double big boot is on the menu for Bravo, which puts Bravo outside, but Bravo comes back in with a boot of his own. After an inverted atomic drop, Earthquake tags in. Earthquake misses an elbowdrop, so Hogan tags back in. Right hands for Quake follow, and Bravo gets slammed. Then Quake gets slammed, and clotheslined. HULKAMANIA'S RUNNIN' WILD BROTHER. Tugboat tags in, and avalanches Quake. A clothesline follows, but as 'Boat is about to do another, Bravo hits him with Hart's megaphone. Earthquake tags Bravo, and Bravo's pin gets a 2 count. Bravo spits on Hogan, then tags in Quake. Bravo and Quake clothesline Tugboat after Earthquake tags in, and a big splash by Quake gets 2, only cause Hogan broke up the pin. Quake goes to the chinlock, but that doesn't last long, thankfully. Earthquake takes Tugboat down, and tags in Bravo. Fake hot tag follows (you know, where the ref is distracted and doesn't see the tag), so Quake and Bravo give Tugboat a double slam. It's time for the ASS SPLASH, but Hogan gives Quake a clothesline as Quake was running the ropes. Tag Hogan, and Bravo follows, as Hogan goes into his routine, after the big boot, he rolls Bravo up for the 3 count at 9:19. Strange finish, isn't it. Tugboat and Hogan pose for a while, and then, out of nowhere, Earthquake comes back to the ring, and hits Hogan with a chair; at the same time, Jimmy Hart throws chalk into the eyes of Tugboat. Quake gives Hogan an ASS SPLASH, and Hogan's down for the count. He won't do a stretcher job, though, so Tugboat helps him to the back. Hogan's a man's man. Match Analysis: Short and inoffensive, *. That was as good as we could have hoped for. ___________________ Ted DiBiase had knee surgery, so Virgil will take his place in this bout against the Texas Tornado. Blow-by-blow: Kerry's so strung out it's ridiculous. He never met a drug he didn't like. Virgil sends Kerry outside after a few clubbing blows to the back, and then rams him into the stairs. Tornado blocks a right hand, and hiptosses Virgil out. Into the stairs Virgil goes, and Virgil doesn't come into the ring for about 2 minutes. Goodness. Tornado makes him come in, and then tosses him into the buckle, where he misses a charge. Virgil applies an armbar, and rakes Kerry in the eyes. Kerry gets two clotheslines and a backdrop, so Virgil begs for forgiveness. Kerry gets a suplex and another backdrop, which leads to a Boston Crab. The CLAW follows, but Virgil makes the ropes. Kerry finishes the match with the DISCUSCUSCUSCUS punch at 7:55. After the match, Virgil offers to shake Kerry's hand, and Kerry shakes it. Match Analysis: Not good at all. -1/2*. I'll never watch that match again, under any circumstances. Same level of suck as the Valentine/Simba match, hence the rating. Jimmy Hart comes to the ring, and says Honky Tonk Man challenges Valentine to a match at the next MSG show. Well, Honky left the company, so it never happened. ___________________ In a seemingly impromptu partnership, Dusty Rhodes and Jim Duggan face Sgt. Slaughter and General Adnan. Blow-by-blow: Dusty's in the worst shape of his entire wrestling career, up to that point anyway. He really let himself go. Slaughter tries to grab Duggan's 2x4, but isn't able to. Dusty elbows Slaughter, and tags in Duggan. HOOOOOOOO, then he whips Slaughter into the corner, where Slaughter does that thing where he rams himself into the steel ringpost, catapulting himself to the floor. Adnan and Slaughter huddle up, and on the inside, Slaughter gets headbutted by Duggan. Guess their strategy didn't work. Duggan rams Slaughter's head into the turnbuckle, and Dusty tags in, and gets FUNKY LIKE A MONKEY JACK. Double punch on Slaughter, and Duggan comes back in. Duggan gives Slaughter a shoulderblock, and Adnan attempts to trip Duggan on an Irish whip. He doesn't, but Slaughter clotheslines Duggan over the top rope anyway. Adnan rams Duggan into the steel post, and Slaughter rams Duggan into the steps. Poor guy. Adnan tags in on the inside, and applies a HEAD VICE. That's no CRANIUM CRUSH. He rams Hacksaw into the buckle, and tags in Slaughter. Slaughter gets a backbreaker for 2, and a kneedrop for 2. He goes up top, but misses with a kneedrop. Dusty Rhodes tags in, and he has elbows for Slaughter. The babyfaces take turns beating up Slaughter, but Dusty misses a charge toward the turnbuckle. Slaughter elbows him, and applies the CAMEL CLUTCH. Duggan breaks it up, so Adnan sneaks around the outside of the ring and nails Duggan with the Iraqi flag. Duggan chases Adnan to the back, meanwhile, Slaughter applies the CAMEL CLUTCH, and it's over at 9:10. Slaughter keeps the hold applied after the bell, until Duggan chases him away. Poor Dusty. Match Analysis: Nothing special. Is it wrong of me to say that I sorta enjoyed Slaughter in the "traitor heel" role? It probably is, but I don't care. I liked seeing Hogan beat him up, too. 1/2* ___________________ Now, we have a dream match of mine. Rowdy Roddy Piper vs. Mr. Perfect for Perfect's Intercontinental Title. YES!!! Blow-by-blow: Piper tosses his kilt at Perfect, then does the same with his shirt. The wrestlers go nose-to-nose with one another, until Roddy spits at Perfect. HERE WE GO, as Bobby Heenan would say. Perfect goes behind Piper, and Piper kicks him in the nuts. I love Piper in this cheating role, only he and a select few others, namely Eddie Guerrero, could pull it off. But when Eddie did it, it was comedy a lot of the time. When Piper does it, it's serious. Both men chop each other, and Piper chops Perfect out onto the announce table. The announce tables were situated up against the ring then, and they didn't break. Piper pulls Perfect in by the hair, and beels him. A slap to the face follows, and Perfect tries to go low. DOWN LOW. Piper blocks it, and throws Perfect out of the ring. Perfect oversells everything, but not to the point of ridiculousness. Piper puts Perfect into the guardrail, and hits him with a chair. I don't think that was in the plans, no sir. Perfect's ring attire is torn, and Piper tosses him into the ring by the remnants of it. Piper pokes Perfect in the eye, and hits him with a right hand for 2. A double clothesline follows, and both men are out. Perfect pulls off the turnbuckle pad once he gets up, and rams Piper into the exposed buckle. He's still woozy, so Perfect only gets a 2 count once he wakes up. Perfect goes for a FIELD GOAL, and it's good, twice. He laid into Piper with those kicks. Perfect gives Piper a standing dropkick, so they brawl on the outside. Gorilla's been surprisingly unbiased tonight, and it stays the same, even though Perfect hits Piper with a chair. Eye for an eye, one for one. Perfect goes for the sleeper, and gets a few 2 counts out of it. Once Piper powers out, he chin checks Perfect. Meaning that he grabbed Perfect by the head, and rammed the chin of Perfect into the top of his head. Perfect goes for a suplex after regaining control, but Piper falls on top of Perfect for a 2 count. Perfect gets a small package for 2, then both wrestlers trade kneelifts. Perfect goes for the PERFECTPLEX after a clothesline, and Roddy kicks out at 2. You just knew he wasn't jobbing. Piper gets a roll-up for 2, and Perfect backdrops Piper to the outside. Perfect follows, then tosses Piper back in. He wastes a bit of time, then goes to the top rope, WITHOUT entering the ring first. Piper shakes the ropes, and Perfect falls to the outside. Now, the bell rings. Mr. Perfect has been counted out at 12:38. Both men fight for control of the title, and Roddy is the one to get it. He swings the title at Perfect and misses, but he finally knocks Perfect out with the title. Piper then lies the title on the stomach of Perfect, as if to say, you can have it. For now. Match Analysis: I wasn't disappointed. That match was FUN. **3/4. Definitely worth watching the show for. Piper's matches are fun when he has a foil that can make things believable. You stick him in there with a stiff, and it ain't gonna work. With Bad News Brown, although Bad News wasn't a stiff, it forced Piper to resort to "bad ass brawling tactics." He couldn't do his usual cheating thing, cause it wouldn't fit in with the way the match was supposed to go. That's why that feud didn't provide much in the way of great matches, whereas his matches with Bret and Perfect were very solid. They programmed around the circuit, and I bet a majority of the matches were fun. I bet the Flair vs. Piper blowoff at MSG a year later was fun too. Anyway, that's the end of the show. Gorilla says the Ultimate Warrior and Randy Savage will fight each other in a cage on the 21st of January. I'd like to see that. ___________________ Rating: Above-average. (Excellent, great, good, above-average, decent, poor, bad, absolutely terrible) is the scale, and I needed to post it again so I don't have to look for it whenever I post a show. There was some awful stuff on this show, but the good outweighed it. Best Match: Power and Glory vs. The Rockers Worst Match: Greg Valentine vs. Saba Simba Loudest Sound: When Valentine was going to turn on Jimmy Hart, and the heat during the Piper/Perfect match. No Sound: Virgil and Saba Simba. The crowd just didn't care. ___________________ Nitro will be up next, then RAW.

Back to the PPV-ish review system we go... Gorilla Monsoon, Bobby Heenan and Lord Alfred Hayes are on commentary. ___________________ The first match, is The Berzerker vs. Jim Brunzell. Prematch: Huss, huss, huss, huss, huss, huss...and Brunzell looks strange not being a part of the Killer Bees. Blow-by-blow: Brunzell gives Berzerker a monkeyflip and an atomic drop, then Berzerker counters with a boot to the head. Berzerker chop, jumping boot (weird move), and then The Berzerker pushes Brunzell into the steel post on the outside. Berzerker peels back the padding and slams Brunzell on the concrete, and tosses him back in the ring afterward. He keeps tossing Brunzell out, then we go to some restholds. Once we get out of that, Berzerker hits Jim with a HUGE shoulderblock for a 2 count. Brunzell then bites Berzerker, and mongolian chops him. I hate that move. Brunzell hits Berzerker with his signature dropkick for 2, then comes off the ropes with a crossbody attempt, but gets hit with a Berzerker fall-down slam for the pinfall at 8:42. Match analysis: Just a solid opener. Nothing to see here, but Berzerker looked good. *1/2. ___________________ The 2nd match, is The Bushwhackers vs. The Nasty Boys w/Jimmy Hart. Prematch: Why. This could be terrible, or just bad. Hopefully bad. Blow-by-blow: Both teams play to the crowd for two minutes until Luke bites Knobbs on the ass. Ew, gross. The Bushwhackers then do that little "wishbone, step on the nuts but we're really stepping on your stomachs" spot, and the Nasties bail. If I had it my way, they would have stayed gone. This match is just ttteedddiiioouusss so I'll pick up near the hot-tag. The Nasties chinlock Luke to death, until Knobbs goes up and misses a splash. Tag Butch, and Butch is a house of fire. Just some weak-ass bullshit offense, then the Battering Ram. Knobbs has Heenan's coke poured on him by one of the Bushwhackers, and Saggs makes the save with a bellshot to the back of Butch for the pin at 12:38. Match analysis: It could have been worse. FAR, FAR worse. DUD. ___________________ The 3rd match, is Chris Walker vs. The Warlord. Prematch: Walker has this Tarzan thing going on. I know what I'm going to get here, so pardon me if it seems like it's not interesting. The match sure wasn't. Blow-by-blow: This is a Warlord squash. He's slow as fuck, and he sucks dick. And the match is 11 minutes long. I'm going to spare you all the review. Just fastforward past this shit and don't look back. Warlord powerbombs Walker after an attempted rana for the pin at 11:13. Match analysis: No. Just, fuck no. Warlord can't work worth a shit, and they gave him more than 10 minutes. Give me a break. -*, for my first negative star rating I've given. And probably the worst squash match I've ever seen. I'd rather watch Nash work with El Gigante. I would have reviewed it, had it not been a squash. Had it not been a squash, it could have been average. ___________________ The 4th match, is Sid Justice w/Harvey Whippleman vs. Hercules. Prematch: Hercules doesn't have his chain. He probably forgot all about it when the WWF told him the time he had for this match. This is by far the best "version" of Sid. They built him up like a beast, gave him great music, and a manager to cover for his verbal deficiencies. The audience cheered Sid, even though he was supposed to be a monster heel. I'm not kidding. Sid grabs the mic real quick and gives Herc a chance to leave, but being the man Herc is, he won't. Blow-by-blow: Big boot, powerbomb, goodbye. 0:25 is the time. Match analysis: That's probably the best Sid match of all-time. *. That's how you squash, brother. ___________________ The 5th match, is for the World Rasslin' Federation Intercontinental Championship. The challenger, from the Motor City (harhar) is the Repo Man. The champion, is Rowdy Roddy Piper. Prematch: There's a lot goin' on here. Piper having the title is two things. One, a lifetime achievement. Two, a vehicle they can use to help put Bret Hart over, which Piper did. I could do some checking, but I'm too lazy, so I'll say that the WM VIII match with Bret was Piper's only pinfall loss in the WWF. Repo Man's music is the shit. Before the match, he steals a watch from an "unsuspecting" woman at ringside. Piper finds out once he gets to the ring, and he's pissed. The announcers mention WM 8 at every opportunity, and Alfred lets us know it's intermission after this match, as he leaves the commentary table for a brief time. Blow-by-blow: Piper takes off the belt to his skirt kilt, and starts beating Repo Man with it. Piper then clotheslines Repo with the belt. Repo misses the inverted atomic drop, and Piper does the spot where he pokes his opponent in the eye. Piper rams Repo into the stairs, and Repo returns the favor, but into the post rather than the stairs. On the inside, Piper gets the sleeper, then Repo makes the ropes. Thought it was over, I did. Repo has his tow hook, but Earl Hebner grabs the rope attached to the hook to prevent him from using it. Piper grabs the hook and nails Repo with it, which leads to the pinfall at 3:33. Piper then gives the lady at ringside her watch. Match analysis: Harmless, really. They saved Piper for the battle royal later. *1/4. ___________________ It's INTERMISSION time, and we go to a set of interviews. Flair...Piper....Hogan. 4 brothers in Hogan's spiel, btw. ___________________ The 6th match is one that I've wanted to see for a long time. It's the British Bulldog vs. The Undertaker w/Paul Bearer. Prematch: Taker's entrance is awesome, even then. That's all. Blow-by-blow: UT chokes DBS, once the referee breaks DBS finds the strength within to clothesline UT over the top rope. Davey can't hold UT up for a suplex or body slam, so UT just simply chokes him. Again, he chokes after the break. UT no-sells every damn thing in this match. Davey finally gets the delayed vertical suplex, and my initial reaction is..WOW. UT's feet are 12-13 feet high in the air. That's high. Davey charges at UT, but gets stungun'd along the top rope and UT pins him at 5:19. Match analysis: Strange, strange match. *, for the novelty of the match, but I wonder who Davey pissed off. He was squashed like a bug. ___________________ The 7th match is the Big Boss Man (that's how it was displayed on the graphic) vs. "The Model" Rick Martel w/Arrogance. Prematch: Bossman has the nightstick, and Martel has Arrogance. Martel looks terrible wearing that pink garbage down to the ring. Martel says something about the terrible fans at MSG, and we start... Blow-by-blow: Martel slaps Bossman across the face, then runs and hides. Smart guy. Bossman slams Martel twice, so Martel bails out of the ring. Bossman chases him, then hipblocks him. Then he messes Martel's hair up and stomps on his face. Armwringer by Bossman, then a hipblock reversal in favor of Bossman. Bossman clocks Martel upside his head, then pushes him down with one finger. Bossman misses a charge toward the turnbuckle, and Martel takes over. Martel with a back suplex for a 2 count, as the tide has been reversed. Martel works on the back of Bossman, by sitting on his back while applying a chinlock (it's the little things that make a match, like this), and as Rick notices Bossman powering out, he runs up to the turnbuckle and delivers a double axehandle off the 2nd rope. Bossman gets a small package out of nowhere for 2, so Martel gives him a backbreaker. Logically, it makes sense. Bossman crotches Martel as he heads to the top this time, then backdrops him. Martel situates him on the ropes, and Bossman slides to the outside and delivers a thrust to the throat of Martel. Martel grabs Arrogance and the Bossman steals it, but Martel uses the nightstick instead, wallops Bossman with it, and gets the pinfall victory at 13:49. Match analysis: These guys are among my favorite guys to watch, and they put together a nice match here. Enjoyable, a **1/2 rating is in order. ___________________ It's battle royal time, and I need to explain my rating system. Yes, it is based mostly on the finish, and who the participants are. For my review, I just write down the important parts. I can review a Royal Rumble, but not this. Too much goes on, too fast. I try to keep up the best I can. I rate them like _/10, and the scale is completely independent than that of other matches. 10/10 is what I believe to be the best battle royal possible. The one on RAW in 93 that set up Razor's first IC title victory is my favorite. Just being honest. It's on the Monday Night RAW tape from 94 or so that, IMO, is the best Coliseum Video tape of all. It's amazing. ___________________ The participants in this 20 man battle royal are: Rowdy Roddy Piper, Chris Walker, The Model Rick Martel, Ric Flair, The Big Boss Man, British Bulldog, Hulk Hogan, Brian Knobbs, The Berzerker, Hercules, Bushwhacker Luke, Skinner, Repo Man, The Warlord, Kato, Jim Brunzell, Jerry Saggs, Bushwhacker Butch, The Undertaker, and Sid Justice. So, here we go. Butch has taped ribs to sell the bellshot from Saggs that took place earlier, so he's the first to go. Before that, Hogan and Sid brawled as soon as Hogan got into the ring, and that started the match. That makes sense. After that, nobody goes out for a bit, until The Berzerker is dumped. Skinner out. Kato out. Brunzell goes out somewhere in here, as I'm paying attention to Undertaker and Hogan teaming up on Ric Flair. Hercules and Martel go out, then Piper and Flair brawl. Saggs out, Luke out, Walker out, Flair and Repo get dumped quickly thereafter by Piper, so Sid dumps Piper to get both Flair and Piper back to the dressing room. They can hug it out. Bossman puts UT out, then Sid puts Davey out. Hogan then puts Knobbs out, and we have 4 men left at 13:10. The Warlord, Sid, Hogan and Bossman are the guys left and it's obvious who will exit, and we go to the finish quickly as Hogan dumps Warlord, and Sid dumps Bossman. The crowd is fuckin' electric for this encounter, and for some reason, a damn ref is in the ring. Sid whoops on that ref, and gets dumped by Hogan. BUT, because there's no ref to ring the bell, Justice slides back in. Sid grabs Harvey Whippleman's doctor bad, and hits Hogan with it. He slides Hogan out under the rope, and wakes the ref up. Why the fuck couldn't Hogan just let Sid throw him out like everyone else? Once the ref wakes up, it's Hebner BAH GAWD, AND IT'S TIME TO RING THE FUCKIN' BELL AT 16:37. As for the match, 7/10 is my ranking. IT's not bad, but it's nothing great. But there's quite a bit of talent in that ring, so the rating gets bumped up. That's it, show's over. For the entire show, my ranking is *1/4. It's not worth it to sit down and watch the whole thing. If you skip the 2nd and 3rd matches, you'll be in good shape. I'm going to watch it again, but only by skipping those matches. It's a solid enough show. Match of the night is Bossman/Martel, and the worst match is obviously Warlord/Walker. ___________________ I think I'll do part 3 of the Undertaker DVD next, but I'm not reviewing the first HiAC until Badd Blood is posted later this month. Til then... Before too much longer, I'll discuss my rating system, and how I write these.

Wow, this is older than me. Full review this time, and if I'm feelin' it, same for One Night Only tomorrow or Tuesday. If I'm not feelin' it, a truncated version will have to do. Gorilla and Jesse on commentary, thank goodness. Can't stand when they edit Jesse out of these... 1st match, "Leaping" Lanny Poffo v. Iron Mike Sharpe. Prematch: .... Blow-by blow: Sharpe wants the ring announcer to introduce him as the Best Canadian something or other, so they re-do his ring entrance. No poem from Lanny, for shame. 2 minutes of wasted time and a monkey flip and three dropkicks starts it off for Poffo, a quick kip-up, and a cross-body gets two. Poffo's a house of fire, so he gets three arm drags and Sharpe reverses the arm-wringer into a head scissor. Poffo stands on his head, does some gay split-legged, bicycle riding shit, and gets out of the scissor. Some SLOW armwork by Sharpe leads to a hammerlock reversal by Poffo, and Sharpe breaks it. Poffo gets an enziguri, they brawl on the outside as this just feels like a draw, and Poffo gets a sunset flip for one on his way in, as the ref counts SLOW AS FUCK. Speed that shit up, son. Punches for 2 minutes (yes, I timed these times which seem randomly arbitrary, and they aren't random so nyah), and Sharpe misses an ugly dropkick. Real ugly. Poffo does a front flip off the top for a slow 2, then a standing front flip onto Sharpe for another 2 count, and then a standing MOONSAULT IN 1985! for 2 more. Seems like a build to a finish, but Sharpe kills that with a knee and shoulderblock, Poffo gets a small package on a bodyslam reversal for 2, another cradle for 2 and the "20 minute" time limit expires at around 17 minutes. Poffo gives Sharpe a small beating at the end and Sharpe bails to the back. Match analysis: I can't stand time-limit draws, and this was no exception. They screwed around for about 10 minutes and brought some good stuff at the end. To be kind, I'll give them **. 2nd match, Rene Goulet v. King Tonga. Prematch: Goulet is the man with the GLOVE OF SHINING DIAMONDS, but he removes said glove and brings out a bowling glove. Huh? King Tonga is Haku, btw. Obviously... Blow-by-blow: Stalling (sigh), and Tonga gets a beel as Goulet stops screwing around. A takedown, arm-wringer and strikes follow, as Tonga gets punched in the head to stop it. But Islanders have hard heads, see; as Jesse points out, so it doesn't affect King Tonga. Boring chant gets started (and I don't blame them), and Tonga gets a snapmare for two. Whip in and Goulet gets a pretty good clothesline in on Tonga, and Goulet applies THE CLAWWWWW. More boring chants. Goulet grabs something out of his tights and whaps King Tonga upside his head with it. Goulet then bites him, and applies the claw. Haku Tonga breaks it up with some karate strikes, and throws Goulet into the turnbuckle for a Flair Flip. A back suplex from Tonga gets two, but a nice superkick and crossbody from the top finishes for King Tonga at 9:33. I did some fact checking on the times, but I like mine better. Match analysis: Sucked, no heat, boring, sucked, no heat. Goulet is obviously near the end of the line at this point. 3/4*. 3rd match, Moondog Spot[/i ] v. [i]Corporal Kirchner. Prematch: Spot's holding a bone and I like Kirchner's music. The beret is sorta ghey. Blow-by-blow: Kirchner starts off with a dropkick to send Spot out, as soon as Spot gets back in, his ass eats an atomic drop to send him back out. Kirchner gets an armdrag and legdrop on the right arm and puts some more work in. Spot breaks it up with a knee to the head, but Kirchner sends him into the corner for a monkey flip. Now Kirchner starts working on the left (I absolutely can't stand when someone does this) arm and Kirchner says forget it, and gives him some shoulder and a crossbody for 2. They wind up on the floor, and Spot throws Kirchner into the barricade, knocking the barricade over. I liked that part. Chinlock on the inside from Spot, power out by the Cpl, and both guys miss elbows, a nice sunset flip by Kirchner gets two. A small dead period here, and when it's done, Spot comes off the 2nd rope with a fist to the head of Kirchner. Back to the chinlock...then a stomachbreaker by Moondog Spot. Back to the chinlock....and Kirchner starts his comeback. Hiptoss, another monkey flip, and a double clothesline to kill it. I got the feeling there was going to be a draw, but Spot tries a slam and it's reversed into a cradle by Corporal Kirchner for the fall at 14:51. Match analysis: If you haven't noticed, I know how to make shitty matches sound decent. This one was terrible. Another 3/4*. 4th match, Swede Hanson vs. The Missing Link!!!!! Prematch: I have a confession to make. I've never, EVER seen a Missing Link match. Hopefully I won't be disappointed. Blow-by-blow: Headbutts by Link, 2 backrakes by Missing Link, 3 backslaps by Link, and another headbutt by The Missing Link to start out. Punchy, kicky and a headbutt for Swede. Missed headbutt by Link, but he gets an elbow drop and another headbutt. Then a springboard headbutt for Link, and on his way back up, Swede gives him a nutshot and a scoop slam. Some legwork on Link's left leg, and a knee lift as he gives up the legwork. Link headbutts him some more, and The Missing Link hits a headbutt off the 2nd rope to finish at 5:35. Match analysis: Ugh. Color me disappointed. Nothing but headbutts. DUD. The 5th match is for the WORLD WRESTLING FEDERATION BAH GAWD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP OF THE WORLD. The challenger is King Kong Bundy w/Jimmy Hart and the champion is HULK MF HOGAN. Prematch: Danny Davis is the ref, and he's sporting a nice little fro. King Kong Bundy is looking decidedly less mean than he did in months afterward, and it's always weird (for me anyway) to see Hart not wearing a special jacket for his charge. Hulk Hogan comes out to a freakin' gigantic pop, probably one of the 5 loudest and longest. I've heard for him. They love him in Boston. Hogan's wearing white, and I believe we all know what that means. If you don't, you will. Hogan's also American Made. The only things I dislike about the houseshows are the lack of rambling promos in the prematch, and Hillbilly Jim. I hate Hillbilly Jim. Anyway. Blow-by-blow: Hulk's the irresistable force meeting the immovable object, as he gets a big head of steam and runs into Bundy. Bundy doesn't move the first time, so Hulk decides he's going to give him a knee lift for his pleasure the second time 'round and knocks Bundy down quick. Hogan tries to slam Bundy, but it fails and Bundy falls on him for a close two. Big elbow drop by Bundy and Bundy gives him a splash for two. Hogan gets up and gives Bundy some head smashes into the turnbuckle, a whip to the other side and Hogan gives him a HUGE clothesline to put Bundy's fatass on the ground. Bundy catches Hogan in the gut as Hogan's about to go to work, and King Kong takes Hulk over. He chokes him and goes to a chinlock. Hogan powers out quickly and attempts a wristlock reversal. It goes well for a few seconds, but Bundy clocks him, snapmare's Hogan over, an elbow drop and back to the chinlock. Quick break again leads to a bearhug that eats up a minute of the match. The star ratings come off, because the match was really goin' up to this point. Monsoon calls Hulk Hogan, "the People's Champ (now where have I heard that?)." A fake Hulk-up gets Hogan a clothesline and kneedrop for his troubles. Cover gets two, as Bundy decides it's time to finish things up. Whip into the turnbuckle and Bundy goes for the Avalanche. He nails it, but the big splash afterward only gets 2. Another Avalanche and an elbowdrop gets 2, and it's Hulk-up time. 3 punch, boot, Bundy doesn't go down, running elbow, and the atomic drop is what gets Bundy down. Hart finally gets involved and eats the power of Hulkamania. He gets on the apron again and tosses the megaphone to Bundy. Megaphone shot leads to a DQ for Bundy and Hogan retains his title at 8:58. Hogan does a decent blade-job (that's why he was wearing white, btw) cleans out the ring, does some posing and that's that. The crowd is dead from here, just as they were dead before this match. Match analysis: I loved it. Heat was off the charts, and the time of the rest holds was kept to a minimum. No doubt MOTN, **1/4 for the affair. Got Bundy over as a threat (because Hogan never hit the legdrop, and never had a chance to, at that), and next month's show in Boston finished what was started in September. I feel bad for whoever stayed after this. 6th match, SD Jones v. Adrian Adonis. Prematch: This is before Adrian's gay gimmick, as he comes to the ring wearing biker garb. It hides his fat well, as one can see when it is disposed of. He's gigantic. He has the Yankees logo on his boots, getting over the whole, "from Hell's Kitchen" thing. Blow-by-blow: Adonis swings his belt at SD, and SD somehow gets it back, but he doesn't take a swing although Adonis turns his back and vacates. They trade hammerlocks as Jones takes him over, but Adonis gets up and gives him a shoulderblock and nice drop toe hold. Starts with the legwork, but Jones hits a monkey flip and an armdrag as there's a disturbance in the crowd. They trade punches for a bit to let the commotion die down, and Adonis does an Albert type slingshot/decapitation into the ropes and SD sells the neck well. Adonis won't let SD in unless it's the hard way, and the hard way is a suplex in by Adonis. It gets a 2 count. Goodnight Irene for Jones, but it's not over as Jones does the babyface powerup. SD gives Adonis a nice Special Delivery headbutt, then he delivers big ol' Adrian into the ropes and Adonis does a nice tie-up spot. I've never seen that one before. It was a backflip out of the ring, but Adrian tied his hands into the ropes, leaving the entire front of the body open for shots as he's on his knees. Nice stuff. Adonis gets out and turned upside down as he's whipped into the buckle, but SD's comeback doesn't last for long, as he whips AA into the ropes for a "reverse bulldog," as Monsoon would say, but really, it's a DDT by Adonis for the win at 8:07. My times aren't like the listed ones because even if the bell's rang, if a guy doesn't have his garb off and nothing's going on, I don't time it. Match analysis: Strong work by Adonis. Not much more than a glorified squash of Jones, but both guys did a good job. *1/2. The match was harmless, and guys in the current 'E' would do well to learn from this. Wrestling isn't just about hitting spots. 7th match, Desiree Peterson v. Leilani Kai Prematch: Nothing much of note here, but they announced Desiree Peterson as being from Copenhagen. Come on. Blow-by-blow: Starts off with 2 dropkicks from Peterson and Kai tries to bail. She can't, as she gets beeled back in. A nice flying headscissor from Peterson and one of them (I honestly forgot) makes the other one spread their legs in a submission move. I forgot who it was, because I was so surprised to see it. Really, WTF? A nice drop toe hold from Peterson, then a half crab, arm-wringer and then legdrop on the arm. Monkey flip by Peterson, but Kai turns the tide with a hairmare and an eye rake against the ropes. Chokes and crap to Peterson, a blown double underhook once, but re-do the spot again and Kai gets it for a SSSSSLLLLLOOOOWWW two. Goodness, what's in the water tonight. Every ref but Davis has been slow as hell. 2 fist drops get two for Kai, but Peterson pulls out an abdominal stretch on an irish whip reversal. Poor Peterson, she can't catch a break as Kai goes to work with some back rakes. Two big throws by Kai and a scoop slam. Good dropkick by Peterson coming off the whip, then she picks Kai up and gives her a backdrop followed by a slam. Failed splash by Peterson, but she decides to go up to the top. Peterson gets three after a BIG flying dropkick. No time, but it was longish. Match analysis: Dead crowd. Dead me. It's going to take much better than that effort to get my attention. *1/2, it could have been much better. Now, for the Main Event of the Evening, a 6 Man Tag, it's the current WWF TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS, The Dream Team, Valentine and Beefcake with Johnny V as their third man, and the team of Pedro Morales, Ivan Putski, and Uncle Elmer, and they're accompanied by Cousin Junior and Hillbilly Jim Prematch: This shit is going to suck. The hillbilly that can actually put in a decent match is on the outside, Putski is an old man roided to the gills, and I don't care much for Morales. With Johnny V and Beefcake on the other side, that'll be bad for teh snowflakes. Junior does some redneck dance and we're underway. Blow-by-blow: Literally, nothing happens for 5 minutes. They're starting at -* and have to work their way up. Valentine and Elmer finally go to work, and Elmer sends Valentine down with a weak right, so he does it again and this time it looks better. Shoulderblock by Elmer and a choke toss, and Elmer wants Beefcake, so Beefcake tags in. He taunts Hillbilly, and during that Putski tags in with some POLISH POWER and works over the heels with some POLISH POWERED PUNCHES. Tag to Morales, and the faces are doing well for themselves now that Elmer's out. They're out of negative territory. Double noggin-knocker for Johnny V and Beefcake, but the heels take over quickly. A Beefcake slam and then the camera cuts to a sign that says "Brutus Beefcake loves Greg the Faggot Valentine." Exactly as it was written, I shit you not. Got a laugh out of me, if only because I wasn't expecting it. That isn't the only reason, it's also because this show has really tried my patience. Back to the action, as Valentine tags in, misses an elbow and Pedro starts to go to work. Lefts for Valentine, but Johnny V catches Morales and sets him up for Valentine. Valentine misses and hits Johnny V with a good looking right. No big deal, Valentine didn't forget about Morales. He stops that assault and tags in Johnny V, who definitely wants a piece of Morales. Some weak offense by Valiant, but Putski decides he wants to break it up anyway. The ref gets in the way (I think it's Davis again), and Valiant grabs a front facelock on Morales. A false hot tag, and the heels do a switch, as Valentine takes over. Couple elbows and a few two counts, but Morales kicks out. Legwork by the Hammer leads to a Figure 4, but fatass Elmer breaks it up. Pedro sneaks through the legs of one of the heels and tags Putski. POLISH POWER leads to a schmoz, and Pedro rolls up Johnny V although neither of them were the legal man. Gay. The Hillbillies, sans Elmer, dance in the ring to end the show, as the broadcast portion goes out with a shot of Monsoon and Ventura saying good things about Boston. Match analysis: 5 minutes of nothing doesn't cut it for me. *1/4. If I were to ignore the nothing portion of the match, I'd give it 1/2 a star more. Elmer is useless, and Beefcake doesn't do much. Beefcake didn't play a big part, so that was nice. Bad show that gets a * star rating, but it's not as bad as Hardcore Heaven. Despite the poor rating for this, Hardcore Heaven was simply inexcusable, as wrestling was in a state that could produce far better matches. Not only that, I expected more out of Hardcore Heaven. I knew all I was going to get out of this was Bundy v. Hogan, and while I believe that was easily the best match with by far the most heat, it's not enough. Watch for historical purposes, prepare to FF. Not good. Comments and suggestions are welcome. My bad reviews will probably be longer than the good ones, but then again, I haven't reviewed anything good so far. Keep the hits comin', as I can't keep up the 2 reviews per day pace forever. I thought it would be easier than this, but it's a guaranteed two hour entry for each one I write. It shouldn't be like this for the TV shows or PPV's, but for house shows it's tough. I'll keep 'em comin' until it isn't fun anymore, which won't be for a while.