Guest Kinetic Report post Posted September 9, 2002 Metal Ed, I cant stand high school. My attendance has been below 50%! What do you advise me to do to make my schooling adventure more fun? Your poor attendance is no doubt attributable to Metal Ed's claim of having dropped out in the 9th grade. I can assure you that nothing is further from the truth. Metal Ed is actually a true scholar and will be going for his Master's in communications this fall. If Metal Ed were here, I'm sure he'd tell you that school is often hard, especially on those who are misunderstood by society. Stick with it, pal, and some day you'll have a diploma to show for it! And always remember to study for big tests. Metal Ed would! Your Friend, Kinetic aka "Metal Ed" Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Kinetic Report post Posted September 9, 2002 Ed: Any truth to the rumour that Test will be playing you in an upcoming TV movie? Metal Ed informs me that no movie deal has been signed as of yet, but he is in talks with Sony about an adaptation of The Legend of the Rock Box. If this were to come to fruition, I'm sure Metal Ed would be honored to be portrayed by a talented actor and wrestler like Andrew Martin. Your Friend, Kinetic aka "Metal Ed" Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Kinetic Report post Posted September 9, 2002 Eddy (Can I call you Eddy?) If you can change places with one person currently living today, who would it be and why? Metal Ed would prefer that you didn't call him Eddy, as that can't be copyrighted. If Metal Ed were here, I'm sure he'd tell you that he's the luckiest guy in the world to have great fans like you guys at The Smart Marks. He'd probably also say that nothing beats being a "rocking dude" with a great tape collection and a "Rock Box." So to answer your question, Metal Ed wouldn't trade places with anyone for all the "bitching Trans Ams" in the world. He's perfectly happy the way he is! Your Friend, Kinetic aka "Metal Ed" Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Kinetic Report post Posted September 9, 2002 Metal Ed, I saw your earlier post about Skid Row being your favorite band(one of mine too), so I was wondering, what is your favorite Skid Row song? If Metal Ed were here, I'm sure he'd tell you that his favorite Skid Row song is the touching ballad "Eighteen and Life to Go." Metal Ed can really relate to this song, as he had a close friend go down the wrong path once. This friend got caught up with the wrong crowd and was eventually arrested for attempting to rob a convenience store. He's currently serving twenty years in prison. Metal Ed was devestated to hear about it and vowed then and there to never run afoul of the law. It's been the straight and narrow for Metal Ed ever since! Your Friend, Kinetic aka "Metal Ed" Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Kinetic Report post Posted September 9, 2002 Metal Ed, what's your reaction to people refering to you as "The Brock Lesnar of the Smart Marks message board"? Noted similarities... - new guy - no heat - sub-par quality - lackluster gimmick - flash in the pan your reaction? Metal Ed Bif While Metal Ed is a big fan of "The Next Big Thing" himself, I'm sure he'd understand your point. Long time posters are usually a little reluctant to accept a new talent on the level of Metal Ed, for fear of "losing their spot" so to speak. Make no mistake: Metal Ed understands your concerns and will do anything to help ease you into accepting his continued presence on this board. Metal Ed loves his fans, after all, but he equally loves those who just don't get him! Your Friend, Kinetic aka "Metal Ed" Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Kinetic Report post Posted September 9, 2002 Metal Ed: What pick-up lines do you use on the chicks? I figure if I "borrow" a few of them, I might get lucky, if you know what I mean ;) I mean sex, BTW... While he may boast about his sexual prowess here, I can assure you that Metal Ed is a shy, reserved individual. He's usually a little too shy, if you know what I mean. His method of asking attractive young ladies out for a night on the town usually consists of some stammering, a little rambling, and then some out-and-out babbling! Metal Ed is fortunate in the sense that he's just so darn charming. Who could resist him? If he were here, I'm sure his advice would be to just be yourself and politely request the presence of a comely young lass in a manner befitting you. Your Friend, Kinetic aka "Metal Ed" Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Kinetic Report post Posted September 9, 2002 Metal Ed- When did you first look at yourself and go: Damn- I need a mullet Metal Ed briefly wore a mullet in the mid 90s, but has since shaved it. He now sports a short, tasteful haircut that's spiked slightly in the front. It's not unlike that of wrestler John Cena and he often likes to compare himself to that talented newcomer. Any recent photos of Metal Ed sporting a mullet are simply him wearing a wig. Your Friend, Kinetic aka "Metal Ed" Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Kinetic Report post Posted September 9, 2002 Skid Row! Skid Row?!?! My little bro likes Skid Row? What the hell? Did I not bring you up better then that Ed? I shared with you some of the greatest bands in the world! Ozzy, KISS, Judas Priest, Iron Maiden! and this is how you repay me? I never got that! Skid Row my ass! Metal Ed wanted me to address this, although I was a little reluctant to dignify it with even that. Metal Ed has no brother. This Metal Ted is simply an impostor attempting to ride the wave of success Metal Ed is currently on. Metal Ed informs me that he won't take legal action just yet, but will most certainly file a Cease and Desist order if "Metal Ted" fails to comply with his wishes. Your Friend, Kinetic aka "Metal Ed" Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest evenflowDDT Report post Posted September 9, 2002 Dearest Kinetic, Why are you trying to ruin Metal Ed's reputation? He sounds like me now. Now don't get me wrong, I'm a damn good Ed, and one of the most beloved posters on this forum, but... I'm no Metal Ed! PS: I get the "Matt" reference in the "Metal Ed hit his head on a block of concrete" reply. Give my best wishes for a speedy recovery to Metal Ed! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest El Psycho Diablo Report post Posted September 9, 2002 Hey, this kinetic guy sucks. We want Metal Ed back! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Incandenza Report post Posted September 9, 2002 I hope Metal Ed comes back to crack Kinetic's skull. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Vern Gagne Report post Posted September 9, 2002 Hey Metal Ed What 80's Power Ballads to you use to score with the chicks? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest TheRockIsTheEuropeanChampion Report post Posted September 9, 2002 I bet he uses "More Than Words" by EXTREME~! Mister Metal Ed... Who betta than Kanyon?! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest The Ruthless Aggressor Report post Posted September 9, 2002 Who betta than Kanyon?! HHH? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Metal Ed 0 Report post Posted September 9, 2002 SUMUMABA... SUMUMABWA... SUMUMABITCH! I ask that bastard to answer me some questions and he comes in here and makes Metal Ed sound like a pussy. I'm a tell you somethin, Kinetic. You might think you're real smart with your high school diploma and your fancy little State of Texas driver's license, but Metal Ed ain't skeered of you. I'm a whoop your ass, son. You ain't gonna be so smart when your brains are leakin out all over the sidewalk. There's gonna be some skull crackin' goin on. Nobody tarnishes the good name of Metal Ed, dude. I got a few minutes before my medicine's gonna knock me out, so I figure I might could answer some questions. Hey, Metal Ed, if you ever come back... What do YOU think of Canadians? I ain't got no time for none of em. Living up here in Wausau, I've met a few of them bastards. They're always talkin about how their country is better...like how they got better syrup and a higher moose population and all. I don't take no country that calls ham bacon seriously, dude. Y'all don't know how to rock up there, either. All I heard from up in Canada is a bunch of sissy pop like the Barenaked Womens. You can't get to much headbanging with that stuff. I ain't got no time for it. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Metal Ed 0 Report post Posted September 9, 2002 Would Metal Ed hit that? || || || || \/ Fo sheez, Kotzenjunge He's talkin about that Kylee Minowogue chick, in case y'all were wondering. Metal Ed ain't real particular. The big chick up to the Stop and Go came and visited me in the hospital yesterday. I'm just layin there, minding my own business, tryin to get my doctor to plug in my Rock Box. I couldn't do it myself, since I was have some trouble standing after my head hit that cinder block. That chick comes in and she's all reachin under Metal Ed's hospital gown, tryin to get at my junk. I wasn't gonna tell her no or nothin, even though I didn't feel much like gettin it on. I just got a way with the ladies, I guess. Ain't nothing I can do about it. She all tried to drive me home and everything, too. I'm thinkin of droppin her, if you want the truth. She's startin to cramp Metal Ed's style. I probly would do that Kylee Minnowgue chick, though. I ain't never been with a skinny girl before and she's got a pretty bitchin' body. I'd bang her. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest TheRockIsTheEuropeanChampion Report post Posted September 9, 2002 Who betta than Kanyon?! HHH? I will destroy you. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Metal_Ted Report post Posted September 9, 2002 Ed bro, this Kinetic dude sounds like a real pussy. Don't nobody try and make us Bonham Boys look stupid or we'll bash there skulls in. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Metal Ed 0 Report post Posted September 9, 2002 Hey Metal Ed What 80's Power Ballads to you use to score with the chicks? Most of them Poison ones work pretty well. I had this one chick...she worked up to the Burger King and was all tryin to get with Metal Ed. She was pretty big. I had her up in my house one night and we'd been drinking some Pabst's. I'm blarin the Rock Box, y'know, playin some Ratt. We're all makin out, but when Metal Ed went to reach for her goods she all backs away. I didn't panic or nothin. I just went and changed the tape to "Every Rose Has Its Thorn." She was pretty much putty in my hands after that. I did her. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Metal Ed 0 Report post Posted September 9, 2002 I bet he uses "More Than Words" by EXTREME~! Mister Metal Ed... Who betta than Kanyon?! I ain't real big on Kanyon. Remember when him and DDP got beat in that cage by Undertaker and Kane? That was bitchin'. Undertaker's probly my favorite rassler. I see a lot of myself in him. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Metal Ed 0 Report post Posted September 9, 2002 Ed bro, this Kinetic dude sounds like a real pussy. Don't nobody try and make us Bonham Boys look stupid or we'll bash there skulls in. This dude ain't my brother or nothin, but I think he's pretty bitchin. He's got good taste in music, other than not likin Skid Row. I'm cool with you, dude. Just don't tell none of these people you ever beat up Metal Ed again or I'll crack your skull, dude. I ain't lying, neither. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Spaceman Spiff Report post Posted September 9, 2002 Metal Ed: What pick-up lines do you use on the chicks? I figure if I "borrow" a few of them, I might get lucky, if you know what I mean ;) I mean sex, BTW... Hey, Metal Ed, answer this for me. That Kinetic fellow failed to deliver to my satisfaction in your absence. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Metal Ed 0 Report post Posted September 9, 2002 Metal Ed: What pick-up lines do you use on the chicks? I figure if I "borrow" a few of them, I might get lucky, if you know what I mean ;) I mean sex, BTW... Hey, Metal Ed, answer this for me. That Kinetic fellow failed to deliver to my satisfaction in your absence. I don't use too many pick up lines or nothing. If I see a girl I like, I pretty much just go up to her and say "Hey, girl. You're pretty bitchin'. You wanna go to the demolition derby with me after you get off work?" I done been rejected a few times. I ain't gonna lie about that. But if I get a girl to go to the demolition derby, 9 times out of 10 I'm gonna get some. You just gotta make her an offer she can't refuse. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest goodhelmet Report post Posted September 9, 2002 metal ed, why must people try and cop your unique posting style? if you and kinetic were to get in a fistfight, who would win? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Metal Ed 0 Report post Posted September 9, 2002 metal ed, why must people try and cop your unique posting style? if you and kinetic were to get in a fistfight, who would win? Ain't nothing new on the first one. People been trying to act like Metal Ed since as long as I can remember. This one dude I knew last year was all trying to be Metal Ed. He was a little sixth grader tryin to grow out his mullet, puttin a big Maiden patch on the back of his jean jacket, and all that. I pretty much just roughed him up and stole his sneakers. That was the end of that. This Metal Ted dude is cool with me, though. You can't never have too many hard rockin' metal dudes around, as far as I'm concerned. I bet that Kinetic dude ain't never fought no one. I've been fightin up here in Wausau since I was ten, so I can hold my own. I'd take that dude in one punch. Probably wouldn't even take that. He'd start runnin as soon as he saw my mullet. He ain't nothing but a pussy. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest goodhelmet Report post Posted September 9, 2002 metal ed, if kinetic bought you a 6-pack of pabst blue ribbon light, would you reconsider your position of thinking, namely that he is one big pussy. if you had to walk across the street to see willie nelson in concert, would you? since it gets pretty damn cold in wisconsin, do you have a Maiden patch on your snow jacket as well? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Spaceman Spiff Report post Posted September 9, 2002 I don't use too many pick up lines or nothing. If I see a girl I like, I pretty much just go up to her and say "Hey, girl. You're pretty bitchin'. You wanna go to the demolition derby with me after you get off work?" I done been rejected a few times. I ain't gonna lie about that. But if I get a girl to go to the demolition derby, 9 times out of 10 I'm gonna get some. You just gotta make her an offer she can't refuse. Awesome! You rock more than your Rock Box. I'll have to try that line. If only there were a Demolition Derby in town...... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Metal Ed 0 Report post Posted September 9, 2002 metal ed, if kinetic bought you a 6-pack of pabst blue ribbon light, would you reconsider your position of thinking, namely that he is one big pussy. if you had to walk across the street to see willie nelson in concert, would you? since it gets pretty damn cold in wisconsin, do you have a Maiden patch on your snow jacket as well? I'm willing to change my way of thinkin on anyone if they buy me booze, dude. What Kinetic did pretty much pissed me off, though, so he'd better make it a twelve pack. And none of that light shit. Metal Ed ain't got no time for that. I ain't much for that redneck bullshit. I'd probly walk across the street to crack his damn skull for making it so I can't hear my Rock Box. If any of them damn redneck country fans try to park their pickup trucks on Metal Ed's lawn, there's gonna be some trouble. I pretty much just have the jean jacket. It gets cold and everything, but Metal Ed is a pretty tough dude. I've had hypothermia a few times, but I ain't worried about it. I'd rather get sick than have people see me in some pussy snow jacket. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest goodhelmet Report post Posted September 9, 2002 dear metal ed, are you aware that willie nelson, if you had the chance to meet him, would hook you up with some free grass? it might even be some kind bud! during the 80's, when faced with the decision of purchasing the 'white lion' debut album and great white's 'once bitten', which did you choose first? if the govt. put a ban on all mullets, how would you react? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Vern Gagne Report post Posted September 9, 2002 Metal Ed Who wields the greatest axe in rock history? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
