Here you go, J.M.

[Guest DiabloIIFreak1010]

Blarg. So ends my hot steak! Anyways, this is my match. Enjoy it, I guess.

 

--------------------

 

“NOW TESTIFY!”

 

The great words of Rage Against the Machine blast through the arena as Crimson comes back to life once more! as Judge Mental steps out from the back, the SJL World Heavyweight Championship hoisted happily over his shoulder, as the crowd goes into a booing frenzy. He looks out at the crowd and smiles, as he begins walking down the entrance ramp.

 

“Well, ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to Smarks Junior League Crimson,” Axis says, “And this next match is the main event of the night. If you’ve just tuned in you missed a ton of great matches, including Kamikaze going against Mike Van Siclen for the #1 contendership of that belt that Judge Mental holds, the SJL World Heavyweight Championship, as well we have seen Jack The Ripper go one on one with Spike Jenkins, which was quite a watch!”

 

“But moving on, the main event is next, a triple threat match where Matt Myers, a man who is on a current hot steak, and currently undefeated for the time being since he came off of that amazing win against Mak Francis in the Hell In The Cell, he seems newly inspired! Also in this match, Tim Dillon, ironically enough an Irishman who won the European Championship last Wrath, and also against that man in the ring, Judge Mental!”

 

As Judge Mental slides under the bottom rope and into the ring, he climbs up to the middle rope and looks out at the crowd. The fans let out a barrage of boos and jeers at the evil judge, and Funyon announces the match and the opponents as he hops down from the ropes.

 

“LADIES AND GENTLEMEN…the following contest is a non-title match, and it’s under TRIPLE THREAT RUUUUUUUULES!” Funyon booms, “In the ring, from Royal Oak, Michigan, weighing in at 266 Poooooooooounds, he is the WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION OF THE SMARKS JUNIOR LEAAAAAUGGGGGGGGGEEEE…JUUUUUUUUUUUUDGE MEEEEEENNNTTTTTAAAAAAALLLLLLLL!”

 

“Well, folks, Judge is in the ring, and the fans may not enjoy his presence, but I have to admit he is a furious fighting champion,” Axis says, “He’s been the world champion since the Genisis III Pre-Show, where he first won the belt, and he hasn’t let go of the belt since.”

 

As Axis finishes his sentence, Dropkick Murphy’s “Barroom Hero” begins to play, as the crowd goes INSANE. The bagpipes begin to blare and then…

 

“Face down in the gutter, won’t admit defeat… those clothes are soiled and black!”

 

As the lyrics echo through the arena, cheap green shamrock confetti falls from the rafters…

 

“He’s a big, strong man with a child’s mind, don’t you take your booze away!”

 

Orange and Green pyro blows off to the sides and Tim appears on the stage. Soaking up the cheers he struts down the stage with his arms in a boxer’s defensive pose as he throws a few punches. Candice is by his side, laughing at the boxing Irishman. Tim has the European Championship tightly around his waist, and there is a HUGE sticker of the irish flag planted on the front of the belt. He begins walking down the ramp, and slaps some fans hands and he begins throwing little Irish flags out to his loyal fans. He slides into the ring and stands up proud, as he points to his European Championship, with pride glaring in his eye.

 

“FROM LIMERICK, IRELAND…WEIGHING IN AT 169 POOOOOOOOUNDS…HE IS THE SMARKS JUNIOR LEAUGE EUUUUUUROPEAN CHAMPION, TIM DILLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOON!” Funyon booms.

 

“We have two proud champions in the ring, and I’m sure the next man introduced would love to get his hands on one of the pieces of gold!” The Suicide King proclaims.

 

The arena's lights come to a sudden halt, as the arena darkens for about ten seconds...then...

 

…

 

…

 

…

 

…

 

…

 

::BOOM!::

 

A huge neon-purple pyro goes off in the middle of the entrance way, as a multi-colored stroblelight hits in the arena, still engulfed in darkness, as the arena turns into a rave-like state. "Rise" by The Cult blasts through the speakers, as the fans rise from their seats. Smoke hisses out from the entrance way, as Matt Myers steps through the smoke, and on to the entrance ramp.

 

“FROM NEW HAVEN, CONNETICUT…WEIIIIIIIIIIIIGHING IN AT 229 POOOOOOUUNNDSS…MAAAAAAATTTT MYYYYYYYYYEEEEERRRRSSSSSS!” Funyon says.

 

“Well, Matt has no gold unlike the two men in the ring, but I have to admit, he has two things over the other two that neither of them have. Matt Myers has been on a hot steak for a while now, he hasn’t lost a match. And also, Matt Myers has spent about a year and a few months in the Junior League, so he should have the experience edge against these two,” Axis says, “I’m sure somewhere in the near future, there’s going to be a bump for Matt Myers.

 

The Suicide King scoffs, “Not if Edwin gets to the WFCC first…”

 

“What?” Axis says in response. The Suicide King looks around.

 

“I…uh…I mean…nevermind…” The Suicide King says.

 

Matt Myers, still on the entrance ramp, begins running down to the ring, as he slides under the bottom rope and jumps in at both men, as he delivers a punch to the face of Tim Dillon, who stumbles backwards for a bit, as he turns and gives another right hand to Judge Mental! The referee quickly sounds the bell as the match begins…

 

::Ding! Ding! Diiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing!::

 

“Well, this match is underway, and Matt Myers has just jumped right in there!” Axis comments.

 

Matt delivers another right to Tim, as he then turns and hits Judge again! They begin stumbling backwards, as Matt Myers sees an opening, as he leans against the ring ropes and flings himself toward both men, his arms extended out wide in a double clothesline, but both Tim and Judge duck under the clothesline, as Matt keeps going and bounces against the opposite ring ropes, as he comes back to see Judge and Tim grab hands and whack Matt Myers down with a double-team clothesline! Matt rolls on the mat, as Tim begins stomping Brother Red, as he stomps poor Matt Myers out of the ring. He turns around just in time to see Judge Mentals’ foot go right into his gut, as Judge shoves Tim’s head in-between his legs in a powerbomb, as he lifts Dillon up into the air, but Tim manages to escape from the powerbomb, as he leaps off of the shoulders of Mental and lands behind him, as he locks on a waist lock and tries to throw Judge behind him in a German suplex, but all of Judge’s 266 pounds are too much for the light Irishman, as Judge delivers an elbow to the head of Dillon, as Dillion lets go of the waist-lock. Mental turns around into Tim to wrap his gigantic arms around the body of Dillon and throw him over his head in a belly to belly suplex! Tim hits the mat hard, as Mental quickly covers the Limerick native…

 

ONE! …No! Judge is pulled off by Matt Myers, who drags Judge to the outside of the ring. Matt delivers a swift kick karate kick to the gut of Judge, who groans a little in pain. Matt delivers another to the gut of Mental, who moans in pain this time, but still stands. A third kick to the gut causes Judge to fall down to his knees, as Matt walks right up to Judge Mental and draws one leg back and…\

 

“Those kicks must sting like a thousand bees coming at you at once!” Axis says.

 

“Looks like Matt is going to finish off Judge Mental but…WAIT! LOOK AT THAT!” The Suicide King booms.

 

WHAAAAAAAAAAM! Tim Dillon falls right on top of both of them out of the air with a Suicide Plancha that came from ring, over the top rope and on to the outside of the ring! Judge falls flat on his face and Matt falls on to his back on the cold hard mat, as Tim Dillon rolls on the mat, but quickly gets up to his feet, as he takes Matt Myers and throws him back into the ring.

 

“Well, an eventful beginning,” Axis promotes, “We’ve seen Tim try to German suplex the world champion, but Judge proved to be too heavy for Tim take, as he simply threw Tim like a rag doll over his head in a belly-to-belly suplex!”

 

“Don’t forget, Matt dragged Judge outside the ring and was about to put him away with those martial art kicks for furry, but Tim made a desperation attempt that paid off, an amazing suicide dive over the top rope, and it looks like Tim has full control of Matt Myers now!” The Suicide King booms.

 

Tim slides under the bottom rope and into the ring, as Matt Myers rushes at Tim Dillion with his arm extended in a clothesline, but Tim ducks under the arm and slides behind Matt, and before Matt can even think of turning around, Tim uses his quickness to dropkick Matt right into the turnbuckle, as Matt’s front collides with the turnbuckle, exposing his back! Tim looks out at the crowd as they give him a huge cheer…

 

“Looks like Tim is going to go for a spear here or something…” Axis says.

 

…As Tim runs to the opposite turnbuckle, and turns around as he runs with a full-head of steam towards Matt Myers as he GOOOOOOORES Matt right in the back, as Matt lets out a scream of pain! But Tim doesn’t stop there, as he climbs up to the second rope and grabs Matt’s head, as he pulls it back and delivers a punch right to the face of Matt Myers! The crowd lets out a big “ONE!” Matt’s head snaps back to where it was, but Tim pulls it back…

 

TWO! Tim’s fists of furry are working well, as he continues his assault…

 

THREE!

 

FOUR!

 

FIVE!

 

SIX!

 

SEVEN!

 

EIGHT!

 

NINE!

 

Tim looks out at the crowd, as he points to his European Championship near the ring bell, as the crowd lets out a huge cheer of respect, as Tim is about to deliver one last and final punch, but his gaze falls away from the European Championship belt and back to Matt Myers, as he sees Judge Mental right in front of him, up and ready to fight! Judge grabs the head of Tim as he pushes him off of the second rope, as the crowd lets out a booing frenzy on the law-degreed man. Tim rolls on the mat, as Judge steps through the second rope and into the ring, as he squats in front of Dillon. Dillon, out of pure rage, begins getting up to confront the judge, but just as he reaches his feet, Judge Mental scoops Dillon off of his feet, as he puts his head in-between Tim’s legs, as he shoves Tim’s light body on to his back, as he lets his legs hang on his shoulders. Judge holds him there for a few seconds, before WHIPSLASHING him forward and into a powerbomb style-move, known to several as the Courthouse Slam!

 

“WHAT A SLAM!” Axis says, “THAT COULD HAVE BROKEN TIM IN DAMN HALF!”

 

“Who cares about Dillon, Judge is making the cover! Count, ref, count!” The Suicide King says with enthusiasm.

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

THR…NO! Tim Dillon jets his shoulder off of the mat just in time! Judge, in pure shock that he didn’t get the three-count, gets up to his feet in a rage. Meanwhile, Matt Myers has begun climbing the ropes and is now on top of the turnbuckle. Judge picks up a limp leg of Tim Dillon, as he lets out a “WOOOOO!”, obviously mocking Ric Flair and signaling that it’s time for a figure-four leg lock! As he steps around the leg, he looks up at the turnbuckle to see Matt Myers jump off in a flying crossbody! Judge drops the leg as Matt falls on top of the World Champion, as he quickly hooks a leg and the referee begins to count…

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

THR....NO! Judge powers out of the cover, throwing Matt off of him as he goes into the air and gravity kicks in as he slams right down on top of the mat!

 

“Matt Myers has basically been the whipping boy of the whole match,” Axis says, “And that crossbody nearly turned the match around!”

 

Judge quickly gets up to his feet, as he sees Matt Myers trying to crawl out of the ring, but he quickly grabs Matt’s leg when he’s only mere inches of the bottom rope and escaping the ring! Mental pulls him back into the ring, as Mental turns him over on to his back, as he quickly crosses Matt’s legs. Matt’s arms are flailing helplessly at Judge’s arms, trying to pull them off, but it’s no use as Judge turns Matt over into a picture perfect SHARPSHOOTER! The referee quickly runs to Matt, who is screaming and wailing in pain, as he begins reaching for the ropes! His eyes cringe in pain, as he throws one of his arms out, trying to grab on to the ropes, and the other planted on the mat, trying to move him towards them! He begins crawling some more, as blood trickles down his face, probably from Dillon’s punches.

 

…

 

…

 

…He gets closer and closer to the ropes, as he’s almost there; it’s only a few inches in front of him! He holds out his hand, as he can almost feel the rope and…

 

 

…JUDGE PULLS MATT AWAY FROM THE ROPES AND BACK IN TO THE CENTER OF THE RING! MATT FORCES HIS HEAD INTO THE CENTER OF THE MAT, AS HE BEGINS SCREAMING!

 

“Is Matt Myers thinking of throwing it all away and tapping here?!” Axis says.

 

“That sharpshooter looks BRUTAL!” The Suicide King says, “And Matt isn’t trying to get to the ropes anymore, he’s just trying to suck up the pain and hopes Judge takes mercy on his…wait, look at this!”

 

Axis’ eyes go wide as he proclaims, “Tim’s back up! Tim Dillon is back up!”

 

The two announcers’ preaches are true, as Tim Dillon is back up to his feet, alive and ready to fight! He sees that Judge is in a venerable position, as he grabs Mental’s head, as the Judge lets go of the sharpshooter, much to Matt Myers’ delight. Tim shoves Judge’s head into a front-face lock, and dives down, as Judge Mental’s face hits the mat hard in a DDT! But Tim dosen’t stop there, a he picks Mental up once more, still holding on to the DDT and SLAMS him down to the mat for the second time in a DDT! Judge moans in pain, as Tim looks out at the crowd one more time, as he this time jumps into the air and hits a HUGE DDT! Tim covers Judge Mental, as the referee drops to his knees!

 

“WHAT A MOVE! TIM CALLS THAT FINN’S FALL, and it is certainly nothing cool to get caught in, three rolling DDTs!” The Suicide King comments.

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

THR…No! Tim feels his body jet backwards, as he turns around to see Matt Myers, on one knee, holding on to his foot. Tim pulls his foot away from Mr. Myers, as he quickly gets up to his feet and delivers a kick right to the knee of Matt Myers, as Matt lets out a yelp of pain. Tim grabs the arm of Matt Myers, as he pulls him to his feet and whips him across the ring, as Matt comes back at Tim. Tim quickly gives Matt Myers a jab to the face, and then another jab, and another…and one more uppercut, as Matt begins wobbling on his weak legs. Tim stops for a minute and does a little Irish jig, as he finishes as he grabs Matt’s head and draws his hand back…but out of the corner of his eye he sees Judge Mental on his feet and rushing toward him, so he quickly leans against the ropes, as he pulls the top rope down, as Mental goes flying over Tim and out of the ring, landing hard on his head!

 

“Ouch, that looked like it hurt like the a ‘blodder!” Axis booms in his Australian accent.

 

“Well, Judge Mental rarely snaps out of his technological mind-frame, what a rare moment that was!” The Suicide King says.

 

Tim looks back at Matt Myers to see him try to throw a clothesline at the Irishman, but Dillon ducks under the clothesline and reaches back, as he hits a neckbreaker! Matt drops to his ass as he grabs his neck, as Dillon runs against the ropes and comes at Matt Myers with a skidding dropkick to the back! Dillon then gets back up to his feet as he kicks Matt in the gut, and points to the sky, as he puts Matt in a brainbuster position! The crowd goes insane as Dillon scoops Matt off of his feet and into the air, as he quickly pulls Matt over in a snap-brainbuster! Dillon pauses as he looks down at the fallen Matt Myers, as he covers Matt Myers…

 

ONE!

 

TWO! …But Tim pulls Matt’s shoulder off of the mat, as he smirks at the referee. The referee tells him just to pin Matt and end the match, but Tim scoops Matt up to his feet and points out to the crowd, as he shoves Matt’s head into an inverted DDT, as Matt’s hands fall limp by his side. Dillon screams out to the crowd “I’M TAKING THIS MATCH HOOOOOOOOOOOOME!”…

 

“Looks like Dillon is going for his finishing maneuver, Blood and Whiskey, a brutal inverted DDT, and it looks like it’s all going to end here!” Axis says.

 

“Oh, god, Matt, don’t let this half-rate drunk beat you…” The Suicide King begs.

 

Dillon smiles, but his stalling only leads to his downfall, as Matt Myers delivers an elbow to the gut of the Irishman, as Dillon lets go of the DDT! Matt Myers reaches back, as he grabs the head and neck of Tim Dillon, as he jumps forward and pulls the head toward his shoulder, as he hits the mat hard, knocking Dillon down with a DIAMOND CUTTER! Dillon falls to the mat as he grabs his neck and begins rolling around. Matt rolls to his belly as he begins crawling, towards Dillon, as he drapes a single arm over Dillon, as the referee, as well as the crowd, BEGINS TO COUNT…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THR…NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Not just yet, as Dillon kicks out once more, the fearless Irishman jetting his shoulder off of the mat. Dillon quickly gets to two knees, as does Matt Myers, as Matt jumps up to his legs and delivers a hard judo-kick to the side of Dillon. Dillon moans in pain, but it’s drowned out by a “’CUMOON, LADDIE!”. Matt pauses at this, as he gives him one more brutal kick, but it just seems to be thriving Tim Dillon to get up. Tim is up on one leg now, as Matt backs away from Tim, as he steps forward at Tim, his leg flexing in the air, trying to hit Dillon with a superkick, but Dillon ducks under the kick and delivers a quick kick to the gut and grabs Matt and scoops him up and whacks him down in a scoop powerslam! Dillon picks up a leg of Matt Myers and he delivers a swift kick to it, as he lets it drop, but then points to the top rope and screams “SHOOTIN’ SRURRRRRR PRASS!”

 

“Dillon just screamed ‘Shooing Star Press’, and it looks like Dillon is going for a high-risk move here…” Axis remarks.

 

Dillon begins to climb the ropes, as he finally reaches the top and stands there at the top, as he pauses there for a moment, looking out at the sea of fans, but then he feels a short tug on his foot. He looks down to see Judge Mental tugging at his foot, as Judge pulls hard and Dillon falls to his family jewels! Judge quickly enters the ring, as he quickly covers Matt Myers…

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

THREE…YES! WAIT, NO! Matt Myers kicks out; even from all the brutality he’s taken through the match! Judge quickly glances up at Dillon to still see him perched on the top rope, holding his nuts, as Judge Mental scoops up Matt Myers in a tombstone pildedriver position, as the crowd lets out a shocked and astounded “Oooooooh” as the wait for the move to finish, as Judge holds Matt there for several seconds. He then gathers all his strength and SMASHES Matt’s head right into the mat! Judge Mental hits his famous finisher, ‘The Verdict’! Matt falls limp on to the mat, as Judge Mental pushes his weight on top of Myers, as he covers him, paying no attention that TIM DILLON IS BACK UP AND STANDING STRAIGHT UP ON THE TOP ROPE…

 

ONE!

 

Tim Dillon jumps into the air…

 

TWO…

 

Tim Dillon flips backwards, as he begins coming down…

 

THR…NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! DILLON COMES DOWN HARD WITH A SHOOTING STAR PRESS ON TO THE BACK OF THE HEAD JUDGE MENTAL!

 

“WHAT A MOVE! WHAT A MOVE!” Axis booms, “ALL THREE MEN ARE DOWN IN THE CENTER OF THE RING, NO ONE IS MOVING, IT’S ANYONES’ BALL GAME HERE! SOMEONE COVER SOMEBODY!”

 

All three men lay in the center of the ring, not moving at all. Matt lays on his back, gasping for breath. Dillon clutches his stomach, rolling around on the mat. Judge Mental moans in pain as he grabs his neck…

 

 

 

…

 

 

 

….

 

 

 

…..

 

 

 

……

 

 

 

…….And all of the sudden…movement. Matt Myers looks up to see Judge Mental lying there, a hand over his body, and one hand grasping his neck and mumbling things. Matt begins to crawl toward Judge, inch by inch. His sight is blurry, but he’s almost there. He finally reaches Judge Mental, as a single arm falls over Judge Mental…

 

 

ONE!

 

TTWWOO!

 

TTTHHHRRREEE!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

“BY GOD IT’S OVER! WHAT A MATCH! WHAT A MATCH!” The Suicide King screams, as the bell rings…

 

::Ding, ding, ding!::

 

“THE WINNER OF THIS MATCH…MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTT MYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYERS!” Funyon booms.

 

“I don’t believe it…what a finish…what a match…what a NIGHT!” Axis says, “Tim Dillon made that amazing shooting star press off of the top rope and right on to the neck of Judge Mental, which kept him down for the count!”

 

“But let’s forget about those other two losers and focus on the winner here, MATT MYERS! This guy came in, dominated, and pinned THE WORLD CHAMPION, I might add, with no real trouble at all! What a guy…give him a hand, Axis!” The Suicide King says.

 

“Well, I don’t agree with a lot of what you said…Matt Myers was just in the right place at the right time, for most of this match, he was tossed and fumbled around like a rag doll, even taking a tombstone piledriver from Judge Mental!” Axis says.

 

“Ah, but the HOT STREAK CONTINUTES!” The Suicide King bombs, “Well, this is all the time we have, so get the fuck to bed so I can get outta this city!”

 

The camera zooms in on Matt Myers rolling out of the ring and limping back up the entrance way, arms thrown into the air, screaming “WOOOOOOOOO! WOOOOOOOO! I PINNED YOU, BABY!”, as the camera then starwipes to a commercial, and ending yet another edition to Smarks Junior League Crimson…

[Secret Agent 0]

I wonder if anyone would be intrested to see how bad of a job i did on the Fury match?

[Guest Goodear]

Bring it, Johnny.

[Secret Agent 0]

Well since Ejiro wanted it, i guess i shall post my loosing match for the first time ever!! As a little note this match borrows a tensy wensy from WrestleMania X8.

And also has a very lackluster ending in my race to finish it off in time for the dreaded deadline of doom. Criticisms are appreacaited.

..........................................

 

SJL Crimson returns to the airwaves with an outside view of the Melon Arena’s marquee, which reads “SJL Crimson”, “Tonight”, and “Sold Out”. Inside the arena the theme for Crimson rocks the house as the fans bolster from their seats cheering loudly and waving their signs about! The cameras pan across the outside of the ring, where tables are strewn about for the upcoming match before settling in on the commentator’s table.

 

“Welcome back to SJL Crimson!” Axis begins. “What a night we have had so far, with a five minute match pitting Ejiro Fasaki and the rookie Logan against each other as well as Wildchild facing off against Manson! Talk about excitement!”

 

“Please, Axis.” Says the Suicide King as he kicks back in his chair and plops his feet on the table. “Saying exciting while referencing the JL is truly amusing. I don’t think there has been a moment of excitement since that little hostile take over about a year ago."

 

“Well…What if I said Johnny Dangerous in a tables match against…CHRISTIAN FURY!!”

 

“What?” The Suicide King sits back up in his chair with a lock of shock on his face. “Christian Fury? You mean..”

 

“That’s right, King!”

 

“CHRISTIAN FURY!”

 

“JOHNNY DANGEROUS!”

 

“TABLES MATCH!”

 

“RIGHT HERE, TONIGHT! NOW INFACT!”

 

“OH MY GOD!” The Suicide King begins to tremble with excitement then abruptly returns to his normal egotistical self. “Do you think I give a shit? I mean the return of Christian Fury or not, this match includes Johnny Dangerous so it is guaranteed to SUCK MAJOR ASS! The only fun I could possible foresee in this, is watching Johnny Dangerous go through a table!”

 

“You are so damn hard to please, King. Well at any rate let’s get this one rolling, shall we?”

 

“AHEM!” Standing inside the ring, Funyon clears his throat out on the microphone trying to draw the crowd’s attention towards him. “Ladies and Gentlemen, Children of all ages! The following contest is a Table Match! In this match one man must put his opponent THROUGH a table, then and only then will a winner be decided! If the table is set on fire first, brownie points will be awarded!”

 

The house lights drop much to the delight of the fans as a female voice sings out-

 

“Johnny Dangerous!”

 

The fans erupt in a mountain of cheers upon hearing his name, which is followed by Limp Bizkit’s rendition of the theme to “Mission Impossible 2” as Johnny Dangerous himself steps out front and center! He throws his arms high into the air while behind him the Smarktron lights up with clips of Johnny driving a speedboat off a waterfall then lunging from the boat to catch a dangling helicopter ladder with one arm, along with various other spy antics!

 

“Entering first in this contest! Weighing in at two hundred and five pounds, and hailing from Las Vegas, Nevada! He is JOHNNNNNNY DANGEROOOUUUSSS!!!”

 

“You know what, Axis.” Says the Suicide King. “If there were a definition in the dictionary for Ass Munch it would simply say Johnny Dangerous! I mean come on, this guy is the epitome of stupidity and what makes it worse is this moron keeps winning! Can someone not put his ass down and keep him down for the count of three, or what?”

 

“I think your much to hard on these JL wrestlers, King particularly Johnny Dangerous. I mean he may be a little off with the dress code, but he is just so chock full of charisma!”

 

Johnny happily trots down towards the ring until he catches something out of the corner of his eye! He turns to see a beautiful and voluptuous blonde bombshell leaning against the guardrail, flipping her hair and blowing a kiss towards him. He winks back and starts to strut towards her when a sign directly behind her grabs his attention. “She is a He!” the sign reads and the man holding it nods his head in agreement, not wanting Johnny to fall into sleaze ball tabloid trap. His eye’s widen to half the size of the Grand Canyon before fleeing to the safety of the ring, almost tripping over a table in the process.

 

“That wasn’t pretty.” Says Axis who is almost dumbfounded by the situation.

 

“No it wasn’t.” The Suicide King confirms.

 

Darkness descends upon the arena as the house lights suddenly drop once again and the sounds of System of a Down’s “Aerials” begin flowing through the crowds. The crowd’s anticipation grows as the SmarkTron flickers to life, showing various clips of Christian Fury slowly flipping through the air and crashing down onto an opponent on the floor below him. The music begins to slowly build to a boiling point, then out of absolutely no where-

 

BOOOOOOOOOMMMM!!!!!

 

A sudden explosion of pyrotechnics almost rips the entire stage from its cheap foundation, and along with the music hitting it’s peak, rocks the crowds straight out of their seats and into a standing ovation as Christian Fury emerges from behind the curtain with Kendo stick in hand!

 

“He’s here! Christian Fury has finally returned and what a tremendous way to make his presence known as well as felt!” Axis shouts, marking out like the rest of the crowds for Fury! “Can you feel it, King?”

 

“I’ll show you feel in about two seconds with my boot up your ass if you don’t shut up!” Grunts the Suicide King. “I’m all for Christian Fury, but I don’t think I like this new persona he’s displaying.”

 

Inside the ring Funyon draws the microphone to his lips and continues his usual rounds of introductions. “..AND His opponent! Weighing in at two hundred and twenty seven pounds, and hailing from Cleveland, Ohio! He is CHRIIIISTIAAAAAN FURRRYYYY!!!”

 

Fury hops up to the ring apron them jumps to the top rope, spring boarding himself into the ring! He lands inside the ring with his Kendo stick poised, locking his cold icy blue eyes onto Johnny Dangerous and ready to deliver the beating. After a moment he slides his kendo stick out of the ring, along with his jacket and Oakley sunglasses, and readies himself to begin the match.

 

“Well it looks like we are ready to kick this one off!” Says Axis as Referee Anthony Michael Hall signals for the bell.

 

*DING! DING! DING!*

 

Johnny Dangerous and Christian Fury both close in on each other upon the last sound of the bell ringing out, circling around one another and looking for an opening. The two see the same opening at the same time and lunge into a lock up! Gritting his teeth, Dangerous tries to put as much strength as he can muster into over powering Fury, but Fury proves to be just a bit stronger and shoves Dangerous back! Dangerous tumbles into the corner turnbuckle, rather taken back by Fury’s strength as the crowds light up, wildly cheering for Christian Fury! Fury himself is taken back as well when chants of his name begin to erupt!

 

“FU-RY!”

 

“FU-RY!”

 

“FU-RY!”

 

“These crowds are simply on fire for Christian Fury!” Remarks Axis. “It’s been quite some time since I have seen someone’s return taken so well like this!”

 

“I don’t know why. I mean what the hell has he done, other than make Johnny Dangerous here look like a punk b*tch!” The Suicide King ponders for a brief second before continuing. “Wait a second! That’s a good thing! YEAH! GO FURY!”

 

Christian Fury looks out to the crowds with his usual icy blue eyed stare, watching as they stand pumping their fist into the air and continuing with their chants. He can’t believe it! What? I said he simply can’t believe it! What? He’s shocked! What? He’s speechless! What? He’s amazed! What? He’s thrilled! What? He’s so bubbling with joy hearing his name echoing through the crowds, it almost tears at the tortured fibers of his very soul, but for once in a very long time he begins to smile! What? That’s right I said he’s smiling from ear to ear!

 

“What..the..hell? I know Austin is out of work, but surely he hasn’t joined the writing team.”

 

“Don’t ask me, King.” Says a very confused Axis. “I just comment on what I see.”

 

As the chanting dies down Fury turns his attention back towards Dangerous, catching the glimpse of a fist headed towards him right before it smashes into his skull!

 

*WHACK!*

 

“Oh my god! Cheap shot by Johnny Dangerous!” Shouts Axis!

 

The shot catches Fury completely off guard and knocks him clear into the turnbuckle, sending the crowds into a frenzy of excitement! Dangerous charges in with his fist drawn back, slamming a second shot straight into Fury’s temple and following with his opposite fist for a third! Dangerous rears back for one more shot, channeling all the strength he possible can into it as he swings forward with a punch strong enough to knock the Statue of Liberty’s head straight off her sweet shoulders!

 

“But what a catastrophe that would be if Johnny misses.” Says the Suicide King, almost predicting the future as Fury ducks down just at the right moment and Dangerous’ fist whizzes right over the top of Fury’s head! Fury shudders as he feels the winds from Dangerous’ fist slicing through the air almost parting his red locks straight down the center, but quickly snaps back into his fighting mode sinking his foot into Dangerous’ gut! Dangerous doubles over clenching his stomach giving Fury the opening he needed. Wrapping his arm around Dangerous’ head Fury falls backwards, and lets Dangerous’ head meet the mat with a strong DDT!

 

*WHAM!*

 

“Ohh!” Axis is drawn back imagining the pain from that maneuver. “What a counter by Christian Fury! I think he’s trying to show Johnny Dangerous as well as the rest of the locker room that even though he may have been out of action for a while he is still MORE than capable of delivering the goods!”

 

“Well he can deliver the goods straight through one of them tables!” Adds the Suicide King. “I want to see some blood and smashed tables! I mean come on this is no DQ, time to break out the light bulbs, Singapore Canes, and whipped cream!”

 

“Whipped cream?” Ask Axis with a raised eyebrow.

 

“Yeah, you know. Smack them in the back of the head with the can?”

 

“Sure thing, King. Whatever you say..” Axis rolls his eyes and shakes his head in annoyance of the Suicide Kings reply. “Let’s get back to the action at hand.”

 

With Dangerous knocked to a whole different universe for the time being, Fury slides out of the ring and locates his Kendo stick! The crowds let out a cheer as Fury raises the stick out for a second before sliding back into the ring.

 

“Here come those weapons you asked for, King.”

 

“You think your smart?” Fury yells towards Dangerous as he hovers over him. “See if you can SPY this smacking into your sorry ass!” Fury reaches down and pulls Dangerous back to his feet by his chin, and rears back with the Kendo stick teasing a swing. The Kendo stick slices through the air as Fury swings towards Dangerous’ face, but Dangerous comes back to life just in the nick of time clasping his palms together he catches the stick just a mere inch from his face! Dangerous rips the weapon from Fury’s hand and in one fluid motion swings the weapon back at Fury’s head! Once again Fury ducks the intended blow and pops up behind Dangerous as his body spins around from the swing and locks his arms around Dangerous’ waist. Lifting him into the air Fury slams Dangerous’ back into the mat with a Belly to Back Suplex!

 

*WHAM!*

 

“A thunderous Belly to Back on Johnny Dangerous!” Says Axis. “Johnny seems to be having some trouble landing any monumental blows onto Christian Fury here tonight, with Christian countering most of Johnny’s offense!”

 

“That’s funny..” Adds the Suicide King. “I always thought Johnny had trouble doing anything right.”

 

Fury yanks Dangerous to his feet by his arm, and immediately whips him towards the ropes. Dangerous springs off the ropes and heads back to Fury who swings his arm out and slashes it across Dangerous neck for a clothesline that puts Johnny Dangerous flat on his back! Dangerous scrambles to his feet only to get leveled by another clothesline from Fury, causing the crowds to start growing with cheers yet again. Dangerous pulls himself back to his feet one more time and tries to shake the blows off him. Looking up towards Fury he catches sight of four hairy knuckles right before Fury buries his fist into Dangerous’ face!

 

*WHACK!*

 

The blow almost spins Dangerous completely around, clearly stunning the poor spy and giving Fury the opening he needs to drop his foot into Dangerous gut yet again! Once more Dangerous begins to double over from the blow, but Fury quickly spins around putting his back to Dangerous and reaching behind him to lock onto Dangerous bruised skull and place his chin against Fury’s shoulder! The crowds leap from their seats in anticipation of the move Fury sets up and watch as he quickly drops to his knees, jarring Dangerous’ jaw against his shoulder with a stunner! Fury holds tight to Dangerous’ head and bounces back to his feet, this time he leaps up and kicks his feet out, dropping Dangerous on his chin for the second time!

 

*WHAM!*

 

Dangerous ricochets off of Fury’s shoulder, flying back at least a good three feet before crashing down into the mat! The crowds launch into a huge roar of cheers upon seeing the completion of Fury’s deadly finisher.

 

“OH MY GOD!” Shouts Axis! “LIGHTING AND THUNDER! CHRISTIAN FURY JUST DELIVERED THE LIGHTING AND THUNDER ON JOHNNY DANGEROUS! SOMEBODY STICK A FORK IN JOHNNY DANGEROUS PLEASE, BECAUSE I THINK HE IS DONE!”

 

“Hot damn!” Shouts the Suicide King as he reaches underneath the table and pulls out a sparkling bottle of Ever Clear and two shot glasses! “I think this warrants a bit of a celebration!”

 

“A celebration for what?” Ask Axis who is suddenly surprised when he looks over at the Suicide King gleefully pouring Ever Clear into a shot glass and spilling half of it on the table. “What the hell are you doing?!?!” He Shouts! “We can’t have alcohol, were on duty!”

 

“Oh shut up, already. This is a special occasion! It’s not every day that we get to see the fall of Johnny Dangerous!” Axis takes a gulp of his own spit as he looks down at the shot glass that the Suicide King slides over to him. “Now drink boy, drink!”

 

Axis tries to find some excuse to avoid consumption of the beverage, finally looking back towards the ring he finds one. “Look! Christian Fury is ready to take this one home, he’s going for a table!”

 

Sure enough Christian Fury has slid out of the ring and fumbles with a nearby table, folding its legs back up and sliding it into the ring, which causes another eruption of cheers from the audience! Fury sets the table back up and checks to make sure of its sturdiness, then walks over to Dangerous’ corpse and pulls him to his feet. Fury grabs Dangerous by the arm and whips him to the ropes! Johnny bounces back off the rope and heads right back into Fury who quickly grabs onto his waist and Judo flips him right over the table!

 

“THIS IS IT! JOHNNY’S GOING TO GO RIGHT THROUGH THAT TABLE!” Shouts Axis!

 

Johnny lands smack on the table but much to the surprise of everyone in the entire arena and sitting at home watching on television the table holds! Johnny falls off the table knocking it over in the process as every one realizes what a close call this surely was!

 

“DAMN!” Shouts the Suicide King! “Christian Fury should have just won this, but that damned table just wouldn’t give! This is a rip!”

 

Dangerous grabs onto the turnbuckle to pull him back up, writhing in pain as he does so. His eyes suddenly widen like a deer in some headlights when he sees Fury’s body slicing through the air, coming at him headfirst! Johnny quickly jumps out of the way, letting Fury’s head ram the Turnbuckle with a gore attempt!

 

“Oh my God! Fury just attempted a Gore but missed!” Comments Axis. “He could break his neck doing something like that!”

 

Setting the table back on its legs, Dangerous reaches into his suit jacket and pulls out a cherry red fireplace lighter sparking some cheers from the crowds. He lights it on the first try and places the flickering little flame against the Formica (the cheap wood tables like these are made from.) getting a bit of a smolder but not much else.

 

“FLAMING TABLES! YES!” Shouts Axis with glee!

 

Dangerous stops and places his hand against his chin, tapping his foot he ponders about what he could possibly do to get this table to burn. He looks out towards the commentator’s table, spotting something that brings a great smile to his face! Dangerous rolls out of the ring and heads straight for the commentator’s table, snatching the Suicide King’s bottle out Everclear out from under his nose!

 

“You son of a bitch!” Shouts the Suicide King as he stands up ready to retrieve his expensive beverage, but Axis grabs onto him to hold him back.

 

“Let’s try not to interfere in the match this time, King.”

 

Back in the ring, Dangerous pours a good amount of the Everclear on the table, then takes a big swig of it before tossing the bottle to the side. Dangerous lights the lighter once again and draws it close to his mouth sparking a round of cheers from the crowds again! Just before the alcohol begins to really burn at his cheeks, he spews it from his mouth into the flame!

 

*WOOOOSSSSHHHHH!*

 

The fire licks at the table, instantly setting it a blaze and igniting a tremendous cheer from the audience! In less than two seconds the table is turned into an inferno with enough heat pouring off it to melt the sand out a glass window!

 

“My God!” Shouts Axis! “That fire must be at least a million degrees! How can someone contemplate putting another human being through that! The horror!”

 

“Hell, I would put your mom through it without a second thought.” Says the Suicide King. “I was madder than hell that he stole by liquor, but if someone goes through that table, It will have been a well spent forty bucks!”

 

Dangerous turns around to pick Fury up, but his jaw drops in surprise when Fury’s body has disappeared from what he thought would be it’s final resting spot! Dangerous spins around and is surprised once again when Fury clocks him in the head with his Kendo stick!

 

*THWACK!*

 

Dangerous drops to his knees, clenching his face and howling in pain leaving his back open for another shot, which Fury welcomes with open arms!

 

*THWACK!*

 

The second blow drops him flat on his stomach as he howls out in pain once again! Fury drops the stick and reaches down grabbing Dangerous by his chin and pulling him too his feet. Fury tosses one of Dangerous’ arms over his shoulder as he latches onto his midsection from behind with one hand and grabs his leg with the other and lifts him into the air! Fury walks forward a step towards the inferno of a table, ready to slam Johnny’s sorry ass right through the middle of it when Johnny sensing danger ahead, pushes himself off of Fury and flips behind him! Fury spins around towards Dangerous and receives a right hook to the temple! *WHAM!* Fury immediately fires back with a punch of his own, catching Dangerous straight in the jaw! *WHAM!* The two begin trading punch after punch, each one getting a bit stronger than the last, and stirring the crowd into a frenzy of cheers!

 

“These two look like there trying to kill each other!” Says Axis! “Who’s going to get the better of the other? Who I say, Who?”

 

“Well they better hurry up and put someone through that table before it melts the whole damn ring!” Adds the Suicide King.

 

Fury rears back with his fist for another stiff blow into Johnny Dangerous’ ugly mug, when Dangerous’ sneaks in a quick jab that completely throws the flow of the blow trades straight out of the window! He fires off one more shot to Fury’s skull, this time hitting him with a sheer blast of a second adrenaline rush that knocks Fury all the way into the turnbuckle! Johnny rushes in to clock Christian with one more punch just to keep him subdued but Fury throws his foot out, catching the deadly spy in the head and foiling his plot! Fury grabs Dangerous and viciously slams him into the turnbuckle, followed with a spinning double backhand to Dangerous’ head!

 

*WHAM!*

 

Dangerous begins to fall forward but Fury slams him back into the turnbuckle and begins to climb it, driving another fist into Johnny as he does. Fury mounts the second rope, grabs onto Johnny’s head and raises his fist back ready to deliver a series of punches to finish this sucker off once and for all! It’s time like these a spy must do what a spy must do, and in a no way out situation Johnny does exactly that and jams his clenched fist into the holding cell of Fury’s future children!

 

“OH!” Shrills Axis. “Low blow by Johnny Dangerous! I hope that doesn’t cause Fury’s kids to come out bruised.”

 

Fury howls in pain and clenches his wounded area as Dangerous sees his opportunity knocking and reaches out to take it. Johnny stands up and locks his arms around the incapacitated Fury’s waist, placing him on top of the turnbuckle. Johnny climbs to the top popping another fist into Fury just to make sure he stays under Johnny’s control, and tosses Fury’s arm over his shoulder as he locks his arm around Fury’s head!

 

“No Johnny!” Shouts Axis! “You could put him out trying to pull off a maneuver like this!”

 

“Quite you, Vic!” Retorts the Suicide King! “I want to see someone’s ass go through that burning table, and I don’t care if it puts them out of commission doing so!”

 

With the crowds persuading him on, Johnny grabs onto Christian’s pants and leaps off the turnbuckle! The crowds hold their breath as they watch Johnny’s super-plexing Christian Fury, falling right over the infernos table and then-

 

*CRRRRRAAAAAAASSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!*

 

Fury’s body rips through the fibers of the table as he lands into the fiery rage, shredding it into hundreds of pieces! The crowds leap from their seats with a tremendous cheer for the fatal move, as the referee signals for the bell to end this devastating match!

 

Ding! Ding! Ding!

 

“Johnny Dangerous has done it again!” Shouts Axis! “I was expecting Christian Fury to pull out a win with his return, but it looks like a little ring rust may have given Johnny the upper hand!”

 

“What are you babbling about, Axis? Johnny almost went through that table himself earlier! He is just damn lucky it didn’t give, or it would be Christian Fury’s hand raised in victory. Luck is how Johnny won this time, nothing but pure luck!”

 

Anthony Michael Hall reaches into the smoldering table and pulls out Johnny’s arm to raise it as Funyon makes the obvious announcement. “And your winner of this match! JOHNNNNNYY DANGEROUSSSS!!!”

 

“Hmph!” Says the Suicide King as he crosses his arms. “Well we are going to need a few minutes to clean this mess up, but after that Jack the Ripper goes toe to toe with Spike Jenkins!”

 

*Cut to a Frost Brand Taco’s commercial*