Guest MrRant Report post Posted October 20, 2002 Today is the Holy Day of Football. Today we shall gaze lovingly at the cheerleaders snack trays while directing the cameraman to the correct angles to film this truly wonderful exhibition of hooters. Many bottles of beer will be raised in triumph and many trips to the bowl will be made for the passing of the Holy Nectar in this the exhibition of thy sport of men. And on this day we will revist the Holy One Al Bundy and The 4 Apostles of NO MA'AM: Our Savior Al "Four Touchdowns In A Single Game" Bundy Brother Jefferson Brother Griff Brother Bob Rooney Brother Ike Yes my flock these are the men who fought against the evil of feminism and the Chicken. Study them well my brethren for they are of great character and strength. Now I give you some hymns to sing in praise of the Bundy and the Apostles on this glorious day of football in respect to their battles and the freedom they have given us. My wife will never cook or clean, She still the money spends. Who knew when I first chose my mate That she would put on that much weight. Or sex we like for sure, If it only worked with her. Please K-I-L-L, K-I-L-L me, me, me Ol' McBundy had a farm, B-U-N-D-Y. And on this farm there was no wife, B-U-N-D-Y. With a no wife here, and no kids there, And a hooker coming over on Friday night, Big hooters with a pizza and a beer there, Old McBundy had a farm, B-U-N-D-Y! And now I give you one of the themes from the greatest TV Show never made... Psycho Dad! : Who is the tall, dark stranger there. The one with the gun and the icy stare. The one with the scalp of his ex-wife's hair. Psy-cho Dad, Psycho Dad, Psycho Dad! He's a durn good pa, but he hates the law. He's to eat it raw, Psycho Dad! Who's that ridin' across the plain. Who's lost count of the wives he's slain. Who is the man who's plum insane! Psy-cho Dad, Psycho Dad, Psycho Dad! Amen. This message brought to you by the Church of NO MA'AM and PBS. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Kinetic Report post Posted October 20, 2002 O Holy Bundy, I throw myself at your will! Praise be to He who allows the righteous and just Tampa Bay Buccaneers to triumph over the wretched and pitiable Philidelphia Eagles. Please, I beg of you, allow Donovan McNabb to throw not completions, but interceptions; to run not through the Tampa Bay defensive line as if they were Swiss cheese, but to be stopped in the backfield and possibly taken out of the game with a minor injury. For I wish not injury upon this most excellent practicer of the Holiest of Holy games, just a momentary reprieve from the smacketh he hath laid on my beloved Buccaneers lo these past two playoff seasons. Let it be done, O Holy Bundy. And death to the chicken. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest MrRant Report post Posted October 20, 2002 I join thee Brother Kinetic is asking Thy Lord Bundy to free my team the Seahawks from their lowly place at the bottom of the NFC West. I ask that the Heavenly Father bestows on Alexander the ability and strengh to plow through the St. Louis D and that the Hawk defense can contain Marshall Faulk and can preserve this humble followers hope of a playoff season by going 10-6 or 9-7. I ask Brother Kinetic to join me in performing the Holy Whoa Bundy! WHOA BUNDY~! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
EL DANDY~! 0 Report post Posted October 20, 2002 Lord Bundy... Please allow Deuce McAllister to fall flat on his facemask and let Dana Stubblefield and Bryant Young to turn him into ground beef for our barbecues. Allow Garrison Hearst to run the ball real far and make Jeff Garcia make his passes to Terrell Owens be plentiful. Allow for JJ Stokes to return and make plays that he has no right to make, and allow the Saints defense to stare in awe at the offense of the 49ers. Only by your wish may this happen...Amen. And MrRant, I'm putting that banner up. NO MA'AM 4 -->! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Kinetic Report post Posted October 20, 2002 WHOA BUNDY~! And Lord Bundy? I would also like you to shake your might fist from the heavens and see to it that the debauchorous New Orleans Saints are soundly defeated by the momentarily acceptable 49ers. This would do much for the righteous and just Buccaneers should you allow them to soundly defeat those wretched Eagles. I have information regarding Andy Reid's disdain for nudie bars that may interest you, O Righteous Bundy. I also hear that he prefers Cat Fancy to Big 'Uns. Strike down this horrible man and all shall be right in this world under Bundy. If you could arrange for my workplace to close for repairs tomorrow during the second half so that I don't have to go in, that'd be frosting on the cake. I don't wish to ask too much of you, though, as I know your duties are many. Just do the Bucs thing. Amen. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Ravenbomb Report post Posted October 20, 2002 wasn't Sunday Fund Day one of those Colour Dreams games for Nintendo? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Kinetic Report post Posted October 21, 2002 Let me just say this: I'm really starting to question the divinity of Bundy. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Big Poppa Popick Report post Posted October 21, 2002 HEATHEN! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Your Paragon of Virtue 0 Report post Posted October 23, 2002 Kind of late, but still funny that all the teams you wanted to win, all lost. Ah well, the Bills won, making me happy:D Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
EL DANDY~! 0 Report post Posted October 23, 2002 Ah well...FOR NEXT WEEK! Lord, Please allow the 49ers to get a pass defense and a pass rush so that they might be able to turn Jake Plummer into one dead snake. Allow Ahmed Plummer to pick off a pass intended for David Boston to make the Cardinals pretenders, not contenders. Allow Jerry Rice to blow away those young'ns at DB for the Chiefs, and let the PRIEST~! not be able to preach his weekly sermon of 100 yards. His dealings of priesthood are nothing compared to a Bundy sermon anyway. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Midnight Express83 Report post Posted October 24, 2002 New banner of No Maam to keep the faith. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Kinetic Report post Posted October 24, 2002 I'll give it another shot. I'd like to believe in something and since this No Ma'am deal seems to be based around watching football and going to nudie bars, it's got quite a lot over every other religion I'm aware of. O Holy Bundy, please don't allow Rob Johnson to destroy the best team the Bucs have had in quite some time. Allow not Warren Sapp to get poked in the eye again. Allow their defensive line to attack the vaunted Carolina offense with great anger and furious vengeance! Allow the Bucs offense to actually move the ball and score points and stuff. Allow Derrick Brooks to score yet another defensive touchdown, as it would be great to have a positive record attributed to Tampa Bay or one of its players. Allow them to win, O Holy Bundy. Allow them to win. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Kotzenjunge Report post Posted October 24, 2002 Bah, you don't need to pray for that one. Panthers - Peete = SUCK. As for when the Pack comes to town, best be praying, fellow Established one. Fo sheez, Kotzenjunge Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Kinetic Report post Posted October 24, 2002 Shit. If Tampa's offense plays Green Bay like they played Philidelphia, they might as well not even show up. I really should pray to Bundy that the Bucs actually build an effective offense for the first time ever over the next couple of seasons. By then, of course, a lot of the great defensive players they have will either be somewhere else or retired. Gah...I really want to see them get one Super Bowl ring out of this defense, but it's going to be near impossible if their offense doesn't step the fuck up. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Spaceman Spiff Report post Posted October 24, 2002 Maybe Lord Bundy will smite Brad & Rob Johnson, and deliver a good QB into your midst. That's pretty much your only chance. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Kinetic Report post Posted October 24, 2002 No shit. Even Brad Johnson is an improvement over Trent Goddamn Dilfer and Shaun King. I'm not totally sold on Rob Johnson sucking as much as people say he does yet. Maybe he'll work well behind that legendary Tampa Bay offensive line. ::crosses fingers, holds breath:: Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Your Paragon of Virtue 0 Report post Posted October 24, 2002 Hey now. Trent Dilfer is a winner, and he's competent. Dilfer+Dominating defense=SUPER BOWL~! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Kinetic Report post Posted October 24, 2002 Well, he didn't do shit in Tampa a few years of that was in the Dungy era, when they had a good defense. The year when they should have won the NFC championship, he was injured and King was starting. I've always seen Dilfer winning a Super Bowl as one of those things that Lord Bundy does to mock the fans of Tampa Bay. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Your Paragon of Virtue 0 Report post Posted October 24, 2002 For whatever reason, Tampa Bay fans just don't seem as passionate as the rest of the league, barring a few. They fall into the same category as teams like Carolina, and Arizona as fans who just don't give a shit unless the team is winning. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Kinetic Report post Posted October 24, 2002 Well, they've only been around for about 25 year so there isn't the same sort of tradition that you have in teams with a longer tenure. And think of how many years they completely sucked ass. They didn't even win a game until their second season, for Bundy's sake. I can't really blame people in that area for being tentative about getting behind a proven loser. That said, a few more winning seasons and a Super Bowl appearance would put all those years of utter ineptitude behind the franchise forever. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Your Paragon of Virtue 0 Report post Posted October 24, 2002 In other words, a nice Super Bowl run would erase years of suckitude, and would leave them with what they need most: ESTABLISHMENT~! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
EL DANDY~! 0 Report post Posted October 24, 2002 I'd crap my pants if Tampa won...now aren't we supposed to be praying to the Holy Bundy??? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest saturnmark4life Report post Posted October 26, 2002 i think that in all this 'Al' praise, you have forgotten Bundys Ted and King Kong. Just saying. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
